Fullmetal Honeymoon
by PinkChocolateGlitter
Summary: AU-fanfic: Trisha and her sons move to a city named Amestris. She starts working as a housekeeper at the Bradley house (occupied by King Wrath Bradley and his children Juliet Sloth, Ling Greed, Solaris Lust, Ivan Envy, Selim Pride) and eventually discovers their darkest secret. Her sons and their schoolmates Winry, May, Kain, Kimblee etc deal with teenage issues. Mixed pairings...
1. Summertime Sadness

**IMPORTANT INFORMATION AHEAD:**

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own anything, not the brand names, not the song titles and especially not the series/manga/books.

 **Structure:** This fanfiction is going to be anything but a one-shot. I have already planned 50 chapters, each of them are named after a song by genius Lana Del Rey (and so is the story itself). The story takes place in the fictional  English city Amestris, thus in an AU.

 **Language:** Since this is going to take place in England, I will try to stick to the so-called "Oxford English" (American characters are an exception to the rule). Additionally, there will be a lot of swearing, dark sarcasm and sometimes even political incorrectness (depends on the character). Unfortunately, I am not a native speaker but I will try to hide that.

 **Content:** The story is rated M for a reason. Not only will the language contribute to that, but also the plot. It will mainly deal with grief, teenage problems such as sexual orientation, family issues, (dark) family secrets, incest between half-brother and half-sister, a teacher-student-affair, a teenage pregnancy, attempted suicide, intrigues, broken hearts, bullying (downplayed) and sex (not too explicit of course). But in addition to those rather serious topics, there will also be easygoing ones: Wedding stuff, theme parties, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, birthdays, Valentine's Day, lots of pink love and strong friendships, tons of allusions to the happenings in Fullmetal Alchemist (mainly Brotherhood) and so on. The genre will be a mixture of comedic, dramatic, mysterious, erotic and romantic aspects.

 **Character:** Almost every character (mostly from Brotherhood) will be in this fanfiction. Also,  every character is from the Fullmetal Alchemist-universe, so no strangers. And although the story takes place in an AU, I will do my utmost to avoid OOC-behaviour. Nonetheless, there will be changes in terms of biographies and relationships.

 **\- Chapter 1: Summertime Sadness -**

"I like your aura!", decides Fu Chang, the seventy-year-old owner of the Chinese restaurant _Dragon's Pulse_ , in the Xing Street.

It is one of the few hot summer days in Amestris, a big city near London, but Edward Elric, a sixteen-year-old who just moved to England from San Francisco, could not care less about the heat. After all, the temperatures in California are way higher than this. And being a boy from San Francisco implies that spiritual talk is something he is quite familiar with.

"Um... Thanks... I guess... Anyway. Judging by that, I assume, that I got the job, huh?", he asks nonchalantly. His accent could not be more _American_.

"Where are you from, young man?", asks Fu instead of answering the boy's question. "The United States, I guess?", he adds and discreetly eyes the young male's white gloves quizzically.

"Yes, Sir."

"And may I ask what brought you here?"

"I wish I knew, Sir."

"I see. You're a little joker, huh?"

"Did you just call me li-?"

"That's good. This job requires humour. But I'm sure you're going to make it. Since I just got back from China, I'm going to reopen the restaurant tomorrow. The schools will open in September but -"

"Tomorrow is fine", interrupts Edward and grins cheekily.

Mr Chang nods, a friendly and grandfatherly smile on his face.

Before they get to say goodbye, a female fifteen-year-old suddenly gatecrashes the job interview. "There you are, grandpa! And... Who is your little friend?", asks Fu's granddaughter May Chang, a wide smile on her face.

Edward instantly clenches his fingers.

"Say hallo to our new waiter, May! His name is Edward Elric and he just moved to Yousval from San Francisco! You'll be living in Yousval, won't you?"

"No, Sir. I think, the borough, we live in, is called Resembool. I wasn't even aware that I left it behind when I got here."

"Are you saying that you didn't notice, you left the bucolic area behind and ended up in the ghetto of Eastern Amestris?", asks May sarcastically and grins. Probably a mocking grin.

Nevertheless, Edward secretly likes her.

Out of the blue, May enthusiastically extends her hand, warbling: "My name is May Chang, by the way! Nice to meet you, _Goldie_!"

"Nice to meet you, too. Especially, if you forget that stupid nickname."

"Oh, okay. How about _Shorty_ then?"

Ed cannot believe his ears: "Shor-shor-shor-?"

"Hey, May! It took me forever to find you and -!" The attractive blonde with the deep blue eyes who just came out of nowhere stops abruptly when she unexpectedly spots the equally handsome male.

Fu raises an eyebrow. "Well. Since nobody cares about the _closed_ -sign anyway – can I offer you something, young lady?", he asks in a sarcastic tone.

Winry smiles and shakes her head. "No, thank you, Mr Chang! I just came here to ask May if she's still planning to help us with the moving in-drama! Because it just turned out that Miss Hawkeye's things had arrived even before her plane to England took off!"

Edward notices that she is also speaking with an accent.

May nods hastily. "Don't worry, Winry, I didn't forget about that. But perhaps you know that Miss Hawkeye's moving in-drama isn't the only thing we need to take care of. Miles is moving out today, remember?"

Noticing Ed's confusion at that moment, she and Winry swiftly turn back to him.

"Winry, allow me to introduce my new American friend Edward Elric to you! Edward, this is Winry Rockbell! My Australian friend!", warbles May.

"American, huh?", asks Winry and extends her hand.

"Australian, huh?", retorts Edward, while shaking her hand and trying to return her friendly smile. However, he is aware that he completely fails at smiling.

"Nice to meet my _substitute_!", answers Winry. "Two years ago, I was the new one in town. But don't worry, the Amestrians are kind people", she adds.

"That's the impression, I got so far", retorts Ed self-confidently.

May and Winry smile. Despite his height, both girls are secretly hot for him.

"You can go on with the _moving-drama_ , Miles, Miss Hawkeye and so on, if you like." Winry and May laugh amusedly in response to that.

"Must have been confusing. Sorry", chuckles Winry.

Edward shrugs. "Don't worry. Confusing me isn't _that_ easy. Besides, it looks like you two could need some help."

May hastily shakes her head, warbling: "Oh no, don't you worry about that, we're totally fine! I mean, there is this one neighbour Miles who is going to move out today but there's also our schoolmate Kain, whose stepsister is going to move in. Unfortunately, Miles' flatmate has no time to help him and Kain, on the other hand, has been living alone since his stepfather's death and his stepsister from South Africa hasn't even arrived yet and..." She pauses and hesitates, before: "Okay, I'm afraid we could indeed need some help..."

"But please don't feel obliged to help!", interposes Winry quickly.

"Well, I'm new in town. So, I have nowhere else to go", he answers.

"Then come with us and meet some Yousvalans!", decides May cheerfully.

"Sure", answers Edward and shrugs...

OOO

That day, his mother Trisha Elric, who will turn forty early in January, is also eager to get a job. And with a bit of luck, she is going to be family Bradley's new housekeeper and thus be working at the largest house in the entire Xerxes Grove.

"Do you also live in Resembool?", asks Mr Bradley's twenty-six-year-old daughter, Juliet Sloth Bradley.

"Yes, Miss. It's house number 15, in the same street as yours."

"That's convenient", remarks Juliet coldly. "You see, Miss Elric? Our house is large. Our garden is even larger. And you, as our housekeeper, will be taking care of both places. Furthermore, you'll be asked to cook three meals for six people per day. _Individual_ meals. My siblings' eating habits are really extraordinary, after all. Also, they all are challenging in a way. You're going to realise that soon. But – needless to say – you'll be obliged to keep everything going on in this house a secret from others. In other words. We'll not just be relying on your flexibility, we'll be relying on your discretion, too."

"Of course, Miss."

"Fine, then. Let me show you the house."

The Bradley house has a rather narrow hallway with a flawed and patterned wallpaper, a large dining room and an even larger living room. The kitchen is mostly vintage and the creaking stairs are dark brown and wooden. All in all, the entire house itself is not that light-flooded. Nonetheless, Trisha likes its furnishing and colours.

Having arrived upstairs, Juliet explains: "Here you can find our father's home office, a guest room, a guest bathroom and two bedrooms. The larger one belongs to me, the smaller one to my brother Selim Pride. The rooms upstairs belong to my other three siblings and in the attic, you can find nothing but boxes with all sorts of things in it. So you won't be asked to go there."

"Excuse me, what is his name again?", asks Trisha with a confused mien.

Juliet Sloth, who was already expecting that, promptly explains: "Our grandmother had an odd sense of humour. She said, her pregnancy had been so _exhausting_ , that she'd decided to give father the middle name Wrath. And our mother, who was cast in the same mould, just kept up that _tradition_ and named all of us after the seven deadly sins."

"Oh... Wow..."

"Yes. And when it comes to all these exotic forenames... Well, except for me, none of the Bradley-kids are biologically related to our father. Our mother found donors around the globe and gave birth to children who are merely half British."

"I see...", murmurs Trisha, who is still confused.

"Selim Pride, our nestling, just celebrated his thirteenth birthday. His father must have been Turkish. Ivan Envy is sixteen years old and half Russian. Solaris Lust is seventeen and half Greek. And then there is Ling Greed, my eighteen-year-old half-brother. He is going to revise his final school year soon. Oh, and he's half Chinese, by the way."

"Wow. This house is like a pars pro toto for the United States", remarks the housekeeper sarcastically.

This would have been the perfect moment for Juliet Sloth Bradley to prove that she actually does have enough humour to acknowledge Trisha's funny remark. But at that moment, she is just too astounded by the maid's eloquence and thus, remains silent.

Trisha herself, who is absolutely aware of the political incorrectness to be in the wind, spontaneously decides to change the subject: "And what about a child by the name of Gluttony?"

Deafening silence.

"There is no such person in our family", answers the twenty-six-year-old coldly.

"I understand..."

The following moment of awkward silence ends when the doorbell rings, all of a sudden: "Oh. That must be my father. Follow me, please."

Trisha nods and follows Juliet Sloth downstairs where she opens the door, expecting to see her father.

But instead: "Oh Juliet, my beautiful peony!" The man in the door frame is as tall as a basketball-player and as muscular as a boxer. But despite his gigantic shadow, Alex Louis Armstrong looks like a thoroughly harmless person.

"Oh, it's you, Alex. You're over-punctual. Our appointment with Monsieur Garfiel is at three on the dot."

"I know, my lovely peony! But over-punctuality passed down the Armstrong line for generations!", explains Alex enthusiastically.

"Fine, whatever. Alex, this is Miss Elric, our new housekeeper. Miss, this is Alex Louis Armstrong, my fiancé."

"Just call me Trisha, please!", interposes Trish with a kind smile.

"Wow, would you look at that! You two look almost like twins!", remarks the twenty-six-year-old Canadian with an astonished mien.

"We do?", asks Trisha and laughs sheepishly.

Juliet Sloth, on the other hand, remains silent. before finally answering the call she is getting at that very moment. "Excuse me", she mumbles and exits the room, which gives Trisha the opportunity to talk with the most warm-hearted member of the Bradley family: Alex...

OOO

Meanwhile, May and Winry are giving Miles, who is moving out, a hand.

Edward, too, is eagerly climbing stairs and carrying heavy boxes in Yousval. He and Heymans Breda, a twenty-six-year-old police officer from Los Angeles, are both helping Kain Fuery, a Jewish-British sixteen-year-old, whose stepsister is going to move in.

And while doing so, Breda does not hesitate to provide the new boy in town with necessary information: "Kain's stepfather Berthold and I used to be workmates. Bertie was the boy's only family member aside from Riza Hawkeye."

"Sorry for your loss", answers Ed.

Breda nods, a toothpick dangling between his teeth. "Are you two schoolmates or something?", he then asks.

"Well, not yet. I just moved here, you know? But we're gonna be schoolmates next year", answers Edward.

"I see", murmurs the police officer. "But hey, can I ask you a favor, Ed?"

"Sure."

Breda looks around, just to make sure that they are alone. Having lowered his voice, he then explains: "Kain has some cool friends at school, like Winry and May. But there is also this one guy who happens to be one of the headmaster's sons. He kind of bullies my young buddy, you know?"

"What a bastard", hisses Edward.

"Yeah. I knew, you'd share my opinion. So, what I'm asking you, is -"

"I'll keep an eye on the situation and beat the shit out of that bastard", interrupts the sixteen-year-old.

"Wow. Actually I was just... You know what? Forget it. I mean, who am I to explain your job to you, huh?", asks Breda sarcastically.

Edward's cheeky smirk says it all...

OOO

Meanwhile, in an empty flat downstairs, the thirty-one-year-old geography teacher Miles Lowe is handing a beer to his thirty-year-old ex-girlfriend Olivier Mira Armstrong.

He then raises his flask jokingly. "To the nice American guy, my lovely ex-neighbours and my ex-girlfriend, who is the lovliest one of all!"

"Shut the fuck up", answers Olivier dryly.

Miles chuckles amusedly. "Come on! I just love seeing the rich Canadian lady in action!"

"When have you ever seen me _not_ in action?", she asks rhetorically.

"Good point, _General_."

"I'm starting to hate that nickname."

"I could start calling you _Ice Queen_ instead. You know, like the students do."

"I also hate our students. Well, _my_ students. Your ex-students."

Silence.

But then: "Dammit, I still can't believe that I got that job at the university...!"

"I know. You already said that comme twelve times. This day."

"I know...", repeats Miles quietly. "It's just that I still feel like I have to justify myself!"

"I told you, you didn't need to justify yourself. At least not to me. But of course, I can only speak for myself."

"Are you hinting at the fact that my flatmate happens to be somewhere else, the day I'm moving out?", he asks sarcastically. Or maybe not that sarcastically.

Instead of answering his question, Olivier just takes a sip.

"I'm going to order food for our helpers", decides Miles spontaneously...

OOO

The school staff meeting has just come to an end.

A few minutes later, Trisha enters the building of the _Pendleton Secondary School_ in the Creta Road, in Wellesley.

Unlike Yousval, which consists of the two formerly separated eastern boroughs Yous Well and Ishval, the western borough Wellesley is not nearly as multicultural. Instead, it is very modern. And whereas the Xing Street is the longest street in Amestris, the Creta Road is rather short, but also the newest street in the entire city. The tall school building itself looks modern, too. However, internally, it sort of resembles a labyrinth.

"Oh, Miss Bradley! What a nice surprise, I thought you wouldn't come here today!", she suddenly hears a slightly shorter, forty-year-old Japanese man warble behind her.

She instantly turns around to see him: Judging by his clothes, he must be the janitor.

When Mr Yoki realises that he just mistook Trisha Elric for his _not-so-secret_ dream woman Juliet, he blushes immediately: "I beg your pardon! I've just... Never mind. How can I help you?"

"I'm looking for the principal's office, Sir!", answers Trish and smiles angelically.

In a matter of seconds, Yoki drops his gaze to his slippers. "Oh yeah... Right... The headmaster... You know? There was a time when I've been dreaming of that chair, too... But the universities wouldn't accept my application..."

Trisha cannot help but feel sorry for him.

"Whatever, Miss! That doesn't matter any more! Because these days, I have a new dream! Becoming a famous mangaka! And I even have a fantastic title in mind already! ' _Fullmetal Alchemist_ '! What do you think?"

"Well... That sounds quite interesting... What will it be about?", asks Trisha by courtesy and smiles sheepishly.

Mr Yoki does not know what to say since he has not seen that one coming: Usually nobody would ask him about his _projects_. "Actually, Miss... I've merely come up with a title yet...", he finally confesses after a moment of awkward silence.

"But I'm sure you'll get to see more of it, once our famous Mr Yoki will have his works published!", interposes a thirty-year-old man with glasses and an Irish accent, all of a sudden.

Mr Yoki gives the other man a grouchy look before getting back to work and leaving them alone.

"I know, you came here to meet our future mangaka Mr Yoki, but is there anything else I can do for you, Miss?", asks the Irish man.

Trisha cannot hold back a soft laugh. "I'm looking for the principal's office, Sir. His daughter... His secretary arranged an appointment."

"If so, I'm going to escort you!", decides the stranger spontaneously.

"Thank you."

"Oh and my name is Maes Hughes, by the way! PSHE teacher!"

"Nice to meet you, Sir! My name is Trisha Elric! My sons Edward and Alphonse are the new students here and I myself am going to be family Bradley's housekeeper!"

"Oh, if so, you must be our new neighbour! Number 15, right?"

"Exactly!"

"What a funny coincidence! Number 17 is our house! Me and my wonderful daughter Elicia live there! _Look_!" In a split second, Maes flips his 2001-mobile phone open and holds it close to her nose, so that she can see a picture of a cute thirteen-year-old.

"She's very darling", remarks Trisha with a smile.

"Hell, yes! And a downright prodigy, too! Come and see for yourself! Dinner, this evening, my house!", decides Maes spontaneously.

"Please, don't put yourself to any bother on my account!"

"Nonsense, lady! Just take your two boys and come over! Elicia will be glad to meet them!"

"Okay, but only on one condition. Tomorrow, you two are going to have dinner at our place. Deal?"

"Totally!"

Trisha smiles and so does Maes.

But then the office's door suddenly opens in front of them, and a black-haired and dark-eyed twenty-six-year-old, who looks sort of Kirghiz, almost bumps into them.

"Well, well, would you look at that! All of our workmates have already left but arse-crawler Mustang pays our boss an extra visit!", chuckles Maes.

"Cut the crap, Hughes! Also, may I remind you that you too haven't left the building yet?"

"Believe me, I wanted to! But I had to help a damsel in distress first!"

Only now does Roy spot the beautiful brunette that is standing next to his best friend. In a matter of seconds, he switches to womaniser-mode. And an irresistible smirk, that brutally reminds Trisha of the fact that her last sexual adventure has happened ages ago, is also part of that performance: "Allow me to introduce myself. Roy Mustang, math teacher."

The single woman, whose fiancé died many years ago, hesitates for a short moment before finally shaking the hand he just extended to her. "Trisha. Trisha Elric. Nice to meet you."

"The pleasure is all mine, Miss." Roy Mustang is trying hard to act like the perfect British gentleman but his accent sort of blows the image and tells her that he is actually American. An American-Kirghiz from New York, to be precise...

OOO

"You know what, Roy? My dining table is tall enough for all of us! Why don't you, Jean and Winry just join us this evening, huh?", offers Maes, after Trisha left.

"I truly have no idea what you're talking about, Hughes."

"Come on, fellow! I know your ' _I want your mobile number_ '-face better than anyone!"

"And I know your ' _I want to play Cupid_ '-face. Seriously, Maes. Don't you think, you should rather...?"

Maes Hughes' smirk disappears instantly. "You know the answer, Roy...", he murmurs, his tone and mien thoroughly serious all of a sudden.

Deafening silence.

But then: "So? At what time?"

Hearing that question, Roy's best friend Maes immediately starts smirking again...

OOO

"Well, your sons' school biographies certainly are interesting. The younger one is obviously a model pupil whereas the other one..." Headmaster Bradley is a fifty-year-old with majestic charisma. Impressive and intimidating.

"Look, Mr. Bradley, I'm aware that Edward had his issues in the past... But I'm also convinced that he can change! He's a real math wizard, for instance! And I'm sure, he's going to behave well from now on! He promised me...!"

"I hope so. Because you see, Miss Elric? Our school sticks to stringent regulations in terms of bullying and revolting."

"I know and I promise you, Edward will not cause any trouble, Sir!"

"Fine", answers Headmaster Bradley. "Well. If you don't have any further questions, you are free to leave now", he then announces, before addressing himself to his paper work again.

"Actually..."

"Yes...?"

"Well, we haven't talked about the job yet, Sir."

"The job?"

"Yes, the job! I am your new housekeeper, remember? Well, at least, I thought, I was..."

"The housekeeper... The housekeeper! Of course! Many apologies, Miss. It's just that the last few days have been very long. And my laptop has been my only friend, so."

Only now does Trisha notice the shadows beneath the one green eye that is not covered by a black eye patch. "I understand, Sir."

"Please call me King. Or Wrath. Or both. Anyway. I'm sure my daughter has already informed you well. She is not just my secretary at work, after all."

"I know. I saw her colorful day planner."

King laughs amusedly. "That indeed sounds like my Sloth. She is in the middle of her own wedding preparations at the moment. Otherwise, we wouldn't even need to hire a housekeeper in the first place."

"I see... It must be challenging to have so many children _and_ be an employed lone father..."

Within seconds, King's mien turns into an even more serious one. "Who told you that?"

"I'm sorry! Your daughter did!"

"Oh. Well. Never mind. It's been almost seven years, so."

"I'm sorry for your loss, Sir... King... Sorry..."

Suddenly, the two of them start laughing amusedly.

"May I offer you a cup of tea, perhaps?", asks King with a friendly smile on his face.

And there it is again: That merciless voice in her head that reminds her of her long-term chastity. And just like that, Trisha secretly realises that Roy Mustang is basically nothing more than a younger and more exotic version of his boss King Wrath...

OOO

The tea is hot and some of the questions are spicy: "May I ask you, what brought you here?"

"My fiancé, to be honest...", answers Edward's mother.

"Your...? Congratulations..."

"Oh no, Sir! It's not like that...! I mean, he _was_ Edward and Alphonse's father and we _did_ plan on getting married and starting a new life in England..." Trisha pauses, before: "However, fate got in the way... My fiancé... He was a professor of archaeology... And almost ten years ago... He died during an exploring journey... Despite his death, I've decided to move to Amestris, but it took me until now to procure money..."

Deafening silence.

But then: "My sympathies, Miss..."

"Thank you... And you can call me Trisha...!"

OOO

Later that day, Juliet, her fiancé Alex and the chief bridesmaid Rebecca Catalina are having an appointment with a Canadian man by the name of Monsieur Garfiel. He is a thirty-year-old and thoroughly gay wedding planner with a greasy voice, greasier hair and stagy gestures: A clichéd wedding planner at its finest.

At the moment, he is showing them models of three-tier wedding cakes that consist of polystyrene. And despite the fact that the chief bridesmaid is supposed to deal with that sort of organisation stuff, Juliet Sloth Bradley would never hand over the responsibility.

That is why Rebecca decides to chat with the groom: "So. What's the new housekeeper like? Is he hot?"

"Well... _She_ could be my peony's older twin!", answers Alex.

"So she's a well-organised workaholic?", asks Rebecca sarcastically. Or maybe not that sarcastically.

"No, but she looks _exactly_ like her!"

"Say, are you kidding me, Alex?"

"I swear, I'm telling the truth!", answers Alex dramatically.

"Well, that's too bad", remarks Bex.

"Why is that?"

"Because Sloth is so going to _hate_ her!"

"Please, Bex! There is not one single evil bone in my peony's body!"

"Of course not! She's Juliet Sloth Bradley! She only kills with kindness!", giggles Rebecca.

Suddenly, Sloth's mobile phone starts ringing. "Oh no...", she mutters.

"What's wrong, my peony?", asks Alex worriedly.

"It's Selim. Excuse me, please", murmurs his fiancé and exits the room.

"Well, I guess that means our visit here has come to an end", giggles Rebecca. "Which is actually very convenient, since I just got a message from my childhood friend Riza Hawkeye, who's finally back in town. For good."

"Why haven't you ever mentioned her?", asks Alex with a reproachful look.

"Like I said, we're just childhood friends. She and her parents moved to Amestris from South Africa, when she was very young. However, when her parents divorced a few years later, she moved back. But now that her father is gone, her stepbrother Kain Fuery needs a new custodian", explains Rebecca.

However, remembering how Alex tends to react to these kind of stories, she regrets it immediately. But it is already too late: "Oh, what a tragic story! A loving stepsister drops everything and even leaves the country just to be there for her younger stepbrother! That must be true sibling love!"

"Oh my dear softy", sighs Rebecca and pats his back...

OOO

In the evening, Roy Mustang and Winry Rockbell, two of the three owners of flat 3b, are getting ready for the dinner at their friend's house.

"First, you had lunch with the new guy and now you two are even going to have dinner together. Sounds quite romantic to me."

"Shut up, Roy! We didn't have lunch together, okay? Miles ordered food as a thank-you for the hard work! And this time, we won't be alone, either! So please stop talking nonsense!", grumbles Winry.

"Wow, slow down, young lady. Otherwise, it'll become even more obvious that I just hit a nerve."

"Roy!", she yells and immediately starts fidgeting with a wrench.

It is only when her twenty-six-year-old half-brother and flatmate Jean Havoc, who has also been invited, suddenly starts coughing, that they abruptly fall silent.

"Oh no! What happened, brother?", asks Winry worriedly. Of course she would never turn her back on a person in need. But this time, she secretly hates him for being sick. Roy Mustang's crush-theory is not that far-fetched, after all.

But unlike most of the time, good fortune seems to be with her this evening: "Don't you dare, Winnie! I already know what you're going to say and the answer is _no_! I don't allow you to cancel your plan just because of me! I'm fine, okay?"

Only now does Roy understand what is happening: Jean is trying to get rid of them because he himself is also going to invite _someone_ for dinner...

OOO

"Just tell mom that I can't make it! I'm too tired to be nice to my PSHE teacher!", nags Edward, while examining his right hand, that is slightly crooked due to a childhood accident.

His fifteen-year-old brother Alphonse, who is unpacking the remaining boxes, smiles tenderly. "Come on, Ed. Mr. Hughes is a kind man and it's always a good thing to get along with your neighbors."

"Damn, Al. Why do you always have to be so... _Alphonsian_?"

"Because you never are", retorts Al.

"Fine", grunts Edward and puts his gloves on. _"It won't be that bad..."_ , he adds inwardly...

OOO

However, he retracts his earlier thoughts thirty minutes later: Elicia and her British age-mate Nina Tucker already made their third remark about his height and Maes Hughes showed them the fourth picture of his daughter wearing a Halloween costume.

The only thing preventing Ed from playing _Angry Birds_ is that it would probably make himself angrier, too.

It is only when Winry unexpectedly appears in the living room that he abruptly starts smiling.

Alphonse gets along with her as well. But his big brother notices that the younger one obviously is not attracted to her. At least not to the same extent.

Having Winry around, Edward almost forgets about everyone else's presence.

But this changes when he realises that Roy Mustang is flirting with his mother whenever nobody else is able to hear them. Well, nobody except for his future student, who does not even know of Roy's job yet.

"No _Mr._ Elric, huh? If so, you'll probably be free tomorrow evening, won't you?"

Trisha blushes immediately, whereas Ed is instantly clenching his fists: "Hey, Mustang! Would ya mind giving me a hand in the kitchen?"

Roy nods. A confused look in his eyes, he then follows him.

But little does he know that his student lured him to the kitchen for a reason: After Ed successfully introduced his fist to Roy's stomach, he furiously seizes the twenty-six-year-old by the collar, whispering: "Just so you know! My mother is not one of your tramps! Got it, _Playroy Mustard_?"

Roy does not react at first.

It is only when his student heads for the kitchen door, that he suddenly starts smirking playfully. "From now on, it'll be _Mr. Mustang_. See you at school, Mr. Elric."

Ed's mouth and golden eyes widen immediately when he realises what he just did.

But all his maths teacher can see is the teenager's stiffened back...

OOO

Standing in front of that one particular residential building, she used to live in as a child, makes Riza Hawkeye, Kain Fuery's twenty-six-year-old stepsister, sigh.

Her dinner with her childhood friend Rebecca Catalina was nice but facing her stepbrother for the first time in years, will be tough, that is for sure. Especially, since he probably has not forgotten about her absence at her own father's funeral yet.

Before she gets to enter the building, Riza almost bumps into a _way-too-sexy_ teenage girl.

"Sorry", apologises the seventeen-year-old half-heartedly.

"No, it was totally my fault", answers the twenty-six-year-old. "I'm Riza, by the way", she adds with an impersonal smile on her face.

"Solaris."

"Nice to meet you, Solaris. Are you also living in that building?"

"No. I was just visiting... A friend", explains Solaris Lust Bradley.

Riza nods silently...

OOO

It is only when she enters flat 3a, that she finds out that her things had arrived earlier than she did: "I'm sorry, Kain! I've never been good at organising stuff like that, you know?"

"It's okay. We had help", answers Kain Fuery with an impersonal smile and adjusts his nerd glasses.

Awkward silence.

But then: "Hi, I'm Heymans Breda. Workmate and good friend of Bertie's."

"Yeah, I know you. We met a few years ago."

"Shit, now I remember! You've had shorter hair back then, right?"

"Right. Thanks for helping", answers Riza. "And you know what? In return, I'm going to buy us something to eat!", she decides spontaneously.

Heymans and Kain gladly agree...

OOO

Shortly before Heymans Breda leaves flat 3a, Riza thanks him one more time.

"Hey, no problem. I'll be around as often as I can. Despite your brother's dog Black Hayate, that's probably going to eat me one day. Me and Ed."

"Ed?", asks Riza with a quizzical look.

"The newbie, who gave us a hand this afternoon. And so did your neighbors May and Winry, by the way. 1a and 3b."

"Thanks for the information. I'll pay them a visit but first I'm going bake a cake for them", announces Riza sarcastically.

Heymans chuckles amusedly.

"No, but seriously. Thank you, Breda."

"Hey, Bertie's daughter. You're totally repeating yourself", he remarks with a brotherly grin. "How about ' _see you at work, buddy_ ', huh?"

"Sounds good. And American", she retorts.

This time, both of them laugh.

A few seconds later, Heymans salutes and leaves...

OOO

Within minutes, Riza grabs everything she can find and pays May a short visit, before going upstairs to cross Winry off the list, too.

However, Winry is not the one that opens the door: "Hey, there. Hawkeye, right?"

"Yes. Hey...?"

"Roy Mustang. Nice to meet you, Miss Hawkeye.."

" _Riza_. Nice to meet you, too. Say... Is your... Sister home, perhaps?"

"You mean _my flatmate's_ sister? No, she's walking the dog, I'm afraid", answers Winry's flatmate.

"I see...", murmurs Riza with a pensive mien.

"But you can come in and wait for her, if you like", offers Roy with a playful smirk.

At that precise moment, Riza is experiencing the same thing that Trisha had to undergo, a few hours ago. "Hey, would you mind giving _this_ to her, Roy...?", she asks, before hesitatingly handing the improvised gift basket to him.

"Sure", he answers and takes the basket. "So? Was that it?", he then asks. "Because otherwise, I'm gonna ask you a second time if you wanna come in", he adds.

Riza is truly having a hard time rejecting him a second time. But: "I'm sorry, but my... Brother wants me to watch _Star Wars_ with him."

"Well. _Skywalker_ beats the lonely man in your neighborhood, I guess", retorts Roy nonchalantly.

Riza chuckles quietly despite herself.

"Next time then?", he asks.

"Next time", she answers.

When she heads for her own door, Roy discreetly looks after her. While doing so, he cannot see her secret smile...

OOO

Later that evening, Scodran Khan, Miles Lowe's thirty-year-old former flatmate, finally enters flat 2b. Coming across Olivier Mira Armstrong in there, somehow surprises him: "You...?"

"Yes. I", she answers unemotionally. Folding her hands behind her back, she then heads for the door while coldly announcing: "But I'm already on my way home."

"You..."

"Yeah?"

"You don't have to leave yet." Scar does not look her in the eye while offering this. Instead he keeps looking out of the window...

OOO

A few minutes later, Olivier is opening her second beer that day. "Any substitution on the horizon already?"

"No. I guess, I shouldn't have mentioned the Kosovar Albanian background."

"Well, I think you rather shouldn't have mentioned the _Greatest Hits_ -CD of Tupac Shakur", she retorts dryly.

"Hey, insulting Tupac means insulting my family, just so you know", clarifies Scar sarcastically.

"Go ahead and insult mine then. Because I can't stand Catherine and her puberty any longer."

"Is there another _super sweet sixteen_ -party in the works?", asks Scar in his usual emotionless tone.

"No, she's already had comme four of those. This time, she wants to throw a welcome party for _American Shorty_."

"Who's that?"

"A young gentleman who's helped us today. Well, gentleman is probably not the most accurate description. He's a downright hothead."

"If so, I'm sure you're going to like him. You've always had a thing for rebels."

"And now we can see how that turned out", she retorts.

Just when Scar is about to give her an answer, she unexpectedly changes the subject: "Hey. In case you should need help, as in _financial support_ , you can ask me anytime."

Scar does not answer. Instead, he just raises his flask all of a sudden: "To Miles. And his opportunity to live his dreams."

Olivier does not react to that at first. But then: "To Miles."

OOO

A few minutes before midnight, Maes Hughes puts his little princess Elicia to bed, while singing Gracia's lullaby. Even though, she died many years ago, both father and daughter are still suffering from that horrible incident. That being said, they are still glad they at least have each other...

OOO

Meanwhile, Winry is taking Jean's temperature. "Thank God, you're alright, brother!"

"Like I said, Winnie. But you wouldn't listen to me. Just like mother."

Jean often tends to compare his sister with his mother which always leads him to the conclusion that he must have taken after his biological father. The father he has never met, since that man had died before Sarah Rockbell gave birth to him. The only thing remaining is his last name. Jean has always loved his biological mother Sarah, his adoptive father Yuriy and Yuriy's mother Pinako to the same extent even though he has not been biologically related to all three of them. And whenever he misses them, he just watches his half-sister taking care of others and doing that, he then automatically sees them again. Sarah and Yuriy were doctors who were working on a voluntary basis. They have spent a lot of time in poor countries. They used to be active in politics. Unfortunately, they had to pay for it with their lives in the end. Two years ago, granny Pinako, who was a mechanic and enthusiastic surfer, died too which is why Winry moved from Australia to Amestris. Just like Pinako, she likes to repair cars. Jean, on the other hand, has his nicotine addiction in common with his grandmother. The only difference: She used to smoke pipe whereas he prefers cigarettes.

"You should stop smoking these tiny, little bastards!"

"And you should stop pretending to be a mother! I mean, why don't you just do normal teenage stuff instead?"

" _Normal teenage stuff_ , huh? Like what? Drinking alcohol and having sex in dirty cars?"

Jean gives her a distraught look. "Right. Drinking alcohol and that's it."

"You're horrible!", chuckles Winry. Of course she is just joking.

But secretly, Jean could not agree more: _"Oh Winnie...!_ _You have no idea...! Mama, papa, granny and papa...! Please forgive me...! I'm so sorry that I'm not like her at all...!"_

OOO

Later that night, Trisha Elric is lying awake in her bed and listening to old Woodstock hits, like she and Van Hohenheim used to do so many years ago. But unfortunately, her dead fiancé is not the only man, she is thinking about that night...

OOO

In the meantime, King Bradley is having a private conversation with the photograph of his wife Quinn, like every night. "Hey, Q... It's Wrath with his usual worries... Today, Pride asked Sloth to sleep in his bed for a while... Just like every other year in summertime... And Greed? Well, I wish, I knew how he's doing but he wouldn't tell me anyway. I haven't seen him for a week or so... I guess he's spending money and time at the _Devil's Nest_ with those strange guys who don't go to school any more..."

King pauses and sighs. "Lust... Well... She's still pretending to be that innocent princess she used to be when you were... And I'm still pretending to be the clueless father who hasn't realised yet that she's anything but innocent... Envy...? To be honest, I'm not a big fan of his... Eccentric style. But who cares? His schoolmates admire him, to say the least... And his marks are almost as good as Pride's, so..."

Wrath takes another breath. "Sloth is being very busy lately, as you know. The new housekeeper is friendly and experienced. I'm sure she'll get along with the kids. But I hope that she's also good at keeping secrets... You don't have to worry though. I've promised you a long time ago, I'd never give away our darkest one..." Before switching off the light, he gives his wife a goodnight kiss...

OOO

The Xerxes Grove, which happens to be the oldest street in Amestris, is nearly all silent at this hour. But Edward, who is walking down his living street, can see light shining through the windows of house number 66. Having kicked a bottle away, he reaches into his pocket until he finally finds a cigarette. He is not an addict but there are moments when he just feels like breaking the taboo.

Moments like this, when he thinks about San Francisco. Moments like this, when he remembers how he had begged his father to stay before Hohenheim entered that one plane he would never be able to exit. Moments like this, when he thinks about that Republican in the neighbourhood who tormented Al just because he is the child of a single mother. Ed did what he thought was right: He got into a fight with that taller and older guy and he almost lost his right hand in the process. But in the end, the other boy got the message and has never bullied his brother again.

From then on, the Elric-brothers started taking Karate lessons. Their Sensei Izumi Curtis, a thirty-five-year-old Japanese-American woman, has been merciless to say the least. Although she is running a butcher's shop along with her thirty-five-year-old American husband Sig Curtis, she calls herself a housewife. But she is known for her legendary martial arts skills in the first place. Usually, she does not even accept students but after she had witnessed the fight between Ed and Al's bully, she decided to make an exception. Ed and Al are definitely not the biggest fans of Karate. However, they are glad they have learnt all those useful techniques. Izumi and Sig Curtis are like family to the Elrics and vice versa...

" _That's enough"_ , decides Ed spontaneously, turns around and heads for his house, when he accidentally bumps into _somebody_ in the darkness.

"Hey, watch out, _shrimp_!", hisses that person.

"Sorry, I was just... Okay, wait a sec, did you just call me _shrimp_?", asks Ed through gritted teeth. It is so dark that they cannot see each other's faces.

However, the stranger can perfectly hear Ed's fist crack at that very moment. A sound that motivates him to go one step further – literally and metaphorically: "Yes, I did. I hope you don't mind, _shrimp_. But just in case a _shrimp_ like you doesn't want to be called _shrimp_ , I can call you _pipsqueak_ instead. What do you think, _shrimp slash pipsqueak_?"

That is definitely overkill: Edward furiously jumps at the bully but that person manages to sidestep just in time. The next thing Ed hears is a mischievous laugh.

"Too bad, my little _pipsqueak_ ", chuckles the stranger before suddenly grabbing Ed's ponytail and kicking him in the stomach.

Having stumbled a few steps backwards, Ed shouts: "FUCK, DAMNIT!"

The culprit puts his hands on his own hips, looks up to the sky and laughs naughtily so that his shoulders start shaking.

Hearing that mocking laughter, Edward impulsively decides to jump at him for the second time. This time, the two of them fall down: The stranger ends up lying on his back and Edward sitting on said stranger's lap. Edward, who is still furious, pushes the slender creature's arms against the cold stony street.

At that precise moment, both of them open their eyes: And – now that their heads are being illuminated by a street lamp – they are finally able to see each other's faces for the first time. Violet meets gold and crimson, deafening silence bumps into all the more deafening silence.

In a matter of seconds, Edward removes his own body from the stranger's lap and hastens away, leaving the other boy speechless...

OOO

Another cigarette. That is already the second time that day that Edward feels like breaking the taboo. This time, he does not even exit the house. Instead, he just opens a window. He is doing something foolish and disrespectful but right now he could not care less. He just blows out the smoke while listening to Lana Del Rey's _Summertime Sadness_...

OOO

In the middle of the night, Selim Pride Bradley starts from his sleep, screaming: "PORTER, NO!" He then hectically heads for the bathroom, without noticing his older brother Ling Greed who has just entered the same storey.

" _Blood! Blood! Blood, everywhere!_ ", stammers Selim hysterically, while washing his hands excessively, even though they are not blood-stained in reality.

Instead of soothing his younger brother, Ling Greed, who is relaxedly leaning against the wall, just watches him attentively. _"It's always the same in summertime..."_ , he notices. But despite that quiet voice in his head that is trying to evoke compassion in him, Ling Greed's hatred finally prevails over his sympathy: _"Hell, yeah. Just go on, little brother. Your childlike hands still smell of blood, even after all these summers..."_


	2. National Anthem

**IMPORTANT INFORMATION AHEAD:**

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own anything, not the brand names, not the song titles and especially not the series/manga.

 **City:** The seven boroughs are named after Amestrian towns: Central (centre), Briggs (north), Yousval (east), Resembool (east), Liore (east), Dublith (south), Wellesley (west). The streets, on the other hand, are named after countries: Amestris Avenue (Central), Drachma Row (Briggs), Xing Street (Yousval), Xerxes Grove (Resembool), Aerugo Lane (Dublith), Creta Road (Wellesley). Each borough has its own characteristics: Central is urban, Briggs is rich, Yousval is multicultural, Resembool is bucolic, Liore is conservative, Dublith is a hotspot, Wellesley is modern. The streets also have their own characteristics: Amestris Avenue is the most famous, Drachma Row the richest, Xing Street the longest, Xerxes Grove the oldest, Aerugo Lane the most popular, Creta Road the newest. Locations such as the school or hotels are named after cities: _Pendleton School_ and _Riviere Hotel****_ (Wellesley), _Rush Valley Inn**_ (Dublith), Central Cinema and Central Library (Central). The only exception is the _Amestris Plaza*****_ (Central). Locations are also named after the ones in FMA: Bar _Fifth Laboratory_ (Central), restaurant _Dragon's Pulse_ (Yousval), _Leto Church_ (Liore) and bar _Devil's Nest_ (Dublith).

 **Name:** Envy's name Ivan is supposed to be a mixture of "envy" and "invidia". It took me forever to find a name for his character. Scodran is an Albanian name. I think this name fits him because despite Scar's Indian clothing in the series, he looks rather Albanian than Hindu in my opinion. Scodran has lost his family during the Yugoslavian War. Miles' last name "Lowe" is inspired by the Ishvalan Cleric Logue Lowe.

 **Nationality:** I am going to mention everybody's nationality.

 **Age:** Of course, I messed with the ages. I hope you do not mind.

 **Uniform:** In the UK, almost every student has to wear a school uniform. That is one of the reasons why I picked that country in the first place. In this fanfic, even older students have to wear uniforms which is something that does not necessarily happen at British schools in reality. The school uniforms in my fanfic look exactly like the ones, the Amestrian military is wearing. The male students have to wear the usual ones and the girls have to wear those that Sheska and most of the secretaries are wearing. Of course, uniforms like these clearly are not meant for students but hey – this is fictional after all. Besides, most of the students in my fanfiction have already worn an Amestrian uniform in either both or only one of the two series (e.g. Envy in the 2003-version, Lust in the 2003-version, Winry in the 2003-version...) and to be fair – all of them looked good in it and so would Ed and the others do, I bet.

 **Allusion:** Edward's crooked wrist is an allusion to his automail.

 **\- Chapter 2: National Anthem -**

 _ **300 Days left until the secret wedding**_

It is the last week of the summer holidays. In the middle of the night, King Wrath Bradley starts from his sleep, when the house telephone suddenly starts ringing. Dazedly entering the corridor, where one of the telephones is hanging on the wall, he comes across his five children, who are also curious about that mysterious late-night-phone call.

Just when his father is about to pick up the phone, Ling Greed suddenly snatches it from under his nose to provoke him. "Bradley residence, how can I help you?", he asks theatrically.

Deafening silence at first. But then: _"I know your dirty secrets..."_

Greed gulps in response to that creepy, technically manipulated voice.

"Greed. Who is it?", asks Sloth while the others are exchanging confused looks.

Instead of answering his sister, Greed regains his composure and retorts: "I'm afraid you must have dialled the wrong number. This family doesn't have any secrets. We are open books with quite an ugly cover." While saying the word _ugly_ , he intentionally looks at Envy, before quickly hanging up.

"What the hell...?", asks Lust with a confused look.

Ling Greed, on the other hand, keeps his composure: "It's nothing, okay? Just a prank. Probably by one of your students."

"Probably", answers King Wrath after a few seconds, while strictly ignoring his youngest son's terrified look. "Well then, let's go back to our rooms!", he then decides and leaves.

His five children look after him, before Lust mutters: "Sorry, but I don't buy it. I'm telling you guys, that _somebody_ knows our secret!"

"Are you serious...?", asks Selim, who is visibly shaken.

Just like her older brother Greed, Lust loses no opportunity to frighten him: "Of course, I am! I mean, there are numerous ways of pranking someone but that person decided to make use of the _I-know-your-secrets_ -shit! This has to mean something, right?"

"Stop it, Lust! You're scaring him for no reason!", intervenes Sloth when Selim is suddenly grasping the fabric of her mint green nightgown.

"Oh, am I? Please forgive me, brother!", chuckles Lust mischievously.

In response to that, Selim gives her a disdainful look.

"Okay, are we done now? Because there's no point in sharing conspiracy theories in the middle of the night", interposes Envy while languidly eyeing his bony fingers.

"Little Envy is right. Bullying schoolmates requires lots of sleep", retorts Ling Greed sarcastically.

Ivan Envy just rolls his eyes and heads for the stairs. Juliet Sloth, on the other hand, does not move at all. Mainly because she already knows that there is no way Selim Pride is going to sleep in his own bed tonight...

OOO

"You've got to be fucking kidding me!", grunts Edward while examining his school uniform that could not look more soldier-like.

"I've seen worse", remarks Alphonse calmly.

"Where? In Guantanamo Bay?"

"You're overreacting. Just as always, brother."

"The hell, I am! I mean, I was prepared for a jacket and a tie but this is endlessly stuffy!"

"Ed, please... You promised mom, you wouldn't cause any trouble...!"

"I meant it, when I said it!"

Al rolls his eyes and smirks. "What is _this_?", he then asks, while examining the red, blue and white invitation card that he just picked up from his older brother's bed.

"Oh that's just an invitation to a welcome party for us. May gave it to me, when she saw me at work."

"May...?"

"Mr. Chang's granddaughter."

"Right. You mentioned her. But according to this card, the host's name is Catherine Elle Armstrong?"

"Yeah. Haven't met her yet but May says that she's nice and all. She's her best friend along with Winry and that odd Scar-guy. Whatever, they invited you too."

"That's nice. But oh sh-" Alphonse would never let any bad word leave his mouth. Another thing that these two do not have in common. "That party will take place this evening! And we haven't even bought a proper costume yet!"

"Whatcha talking about?"

"We have to wear costumes that are typically British. That's the theme."

"Sounds... Laborious", remarks Ed. "Maybe we should skip it."

"Come on, don't be silly, that party is dedicated to us, Ed! We can't just _not_ go there!"

"But, Al -!"

" _Besides_... Unlike you, I haven't met anybody, yet. Except for Winry, but she won't have any classes with me since she's your age, remember?"

That is it: Having aroused Edward's brotherly protective instincts successfully, Alphonse is automatically going to win this debate...

OOO

In the early evening, IT-genius Kain Fuery is repairing a stranger's computer, which he often does in order to make some money on the side, when the doorbell suddenly rings.

"I bet, it's our buddy Breda!", snickers Riza before she opens the door. "Okay... Why are you dressed like _Hermione_ and May like a figure of _Beauty and the Beast_?", she then asks sarcastically, before stepping aside so that Winry alias _Hermione_ and May, who is wearing a bulbous tea pot-costume, can step in.

"The better question would be – why isn't your brother wearing his _Harry Potter_ -costume?", retorts Winry, while looking reproachfully at Kain.

"Because I'm not going to that party!"

The girls groan whereas Riza, who has not been informed yet, asks: "What party? And why haven't I been invited? I've just bought a Scones-costume today." Winry and May giggle amusedly.

Kain, on the other hand, adjusts his nerd glasses, explaining: "One of our schoolmates, who happens to be one of May's best friends, is throwing a welcome party for the Elric-brothers."

"Well, if so, I'm jealous but also touched. Now, let's break your glasses and give you a lightning-shaped scar!", decides Riza enthusiastically.

"No way", clarifies her brother calmly.

"Why not?", pouts his and May's best friend, Winry.

"You know the answer to that. Both of you do", whispers Kain who is obviously not feeling comfortable discussing this sensitive topic with his stepsister being in the same room.

But Riza would never give in that fast: "Hey, Kain. Is something wrong with that girl?"

"It's not about Catherine but about her best friend! He's constantly harassing your brother!", intervenes May.

"May!", hisses Kain.

But it is already too late: "Kain, is that true? Is this son of a... _Witch_ actually bullying you? Because if so, you should use the _Avada Kedavra_ on him!"

"Forget it, Riza... He's the headmaster's son... And the school adores him...", explains Kain hesitatingly.

"Well, we don't! Which is why we'll stop him immediately, if he tries to bother you tonight!", answers Winry.

"I could just sit down on him for instance!", warbles May. The others laugh.

"But -!", interposes Kain.

However, his stepsister just interrupts him: "That wasn't a question! Now go!" The female police officer is so intimidating that everyone remains silent for a second. It is only when Riza starts smirking that the others sigh with relief...

OOO

Meanwhile Trisha is preparing different meals in the Bradley kitchen.

Several weeks have passed since the day she has been hired and by now she is having the knack of it: Mr Bradley and his oldest daughter use to eat proteins in the evenings. However, the portions differ since Sloth is eager to keep her slim form until her wedding in March. Greed is the easiest one to serve since he is dining out most of the time. Trying hard to avoid Trisha, Lust and Envy just eat anything, whereas Selim watches her attentively whenever she is preparing his vegan supper.

The past few weeks have been tough for the housekeeper. The Bradley family is even more challenging than she has been told. A few weeks ago, Juliet Sloth has already warned her about Selim's nagging on the one hand and Greed's disrespectful behaviour on the other hand. And as far as Trisha can judge, Sloth was definitely right about everything she said about the nestling.

Pride is the kind of boy who is going to put undergraduates at Harvard to shame one day. Not only is he a prodigy, but also an obsessive perfectionist. A thirteen-year-old who – although he has never held a broom or a cooking spoon in his hand – actually thinks he knows better. Trisha's trump card is her long-term experience with boastful children. She has the patience of a saint.

With Ling Greed, patience is not even needed. Despite what Sloth said about him, Ling is actually the only family member that does not treat the housekeeper like an old, dusty furniture. Most of the time, he is not even present anyway but when they do actually meet from time to time, they are often having a nice conversation.

The most demanding person living there is actually Sloth herself. Whenever she exits the house, she turns into a perfect reincarnation of Jackie O. but the moment she comes home she instantly turns into Joseph Jackson: Most of the time, she is scolding Greed for hanging out with _inappropriate people_ or Lust for wearing sexy outfits or Envy for doing his hair that way. Additionally, she is constantly explaining Trisha's job to her. Lust's cold looks, Envy's scornful smirks and Pride's _I'm-better-than-everyone-in-that-bloody-world-_ attitude are definitely the lesser evils.

However, Trisha is not the kind of woman who would ever complain about her employers. She is too professional for that. Moreover, she barely gets to see Greed, Lust and Envy. She does see Sloth and Pride a lot. But being the patient woman that she is, she successfully manages to cope with their mannerisms. Because secretly, she understands them: Being the oldest one, Sloth is merely trying to be a mother to her siblings. Pride, on the other hand, is trying to gain his family's respect despite his age. No, Trisha does not just understand them, she pities them too.

"You haven't salted it yet!", remarks Selim harshly.

"I was just about to salt it, my dear!", answers the housekeeper, a tender smile on her face.

"I bet you were", hisses Pride snobbishly.

But the smile on Trisha's face does not vanish. "How is the book you're reading at the moment?"

"It's called _Crime and Punishment_."

"Oh, so you're interested in Russian literature, huh?" Trisha does not even have to avert her eyes from the vegan frittata, she is cooking at the moment, in order to see the puzzled look in Selim's eyes at that very instant.

"Don't get me wrong, Miss, but how...? You know."

"I was majoring in literature before getting pregnant. My boys are bookworms as well, by the way. But they prefer factual books."

"C'est dommage."

"Oui, mais c'est la vie."

Another one of those _since-when-do-maids-know-how-to-impress-me-_ looks. But then, Selim suddenly changes the subject: "Where are you from, by the way?"

"I'm from San Francisco."

"I already know that. But I was referring to your ethnic origins. After all, there are no Americans without exotic origins."

"I'm Azerbaijani."

"That's interesting. I'm half Turkish which means that our people are basically related with each other."

"Yes. But in the end, we all are related with each other, aren't we, dear?"

Pride simply does not feel like answering that particular question.

"Words can't express how sorry I am to interrupt your _intellectual_ conversation, but would my costume be ready, perhaps?", intervenes Ivan Envy, who just came out of nowhere.

That was a harsh one. Nevertheless, Trisha keeps her composure: "I put it on your bed, dear."

"Wait, so you entered my room without my permission?"

"The door was open which is why I assumed that it wouldn't be a problem. But now that I know better, I promise you it won't happen again. Okay?"

Being astounded by Trisha's serenity, Envy does not know what to say. "Whatever", he finally hisses in his husky voice. "I'll let you know, if it fits."

"Of course. But I'm sure it'll look great on you. I've even put more effort in your costume than in Ed and Al's. Mainly because they've only told me about the party today."

"Excuse me but who are Ed and Al again?", asks Ivan Envy indifferently.

Trisha is visibly confused: "Well... For all I know, they'll be the guests of honor tonight. Unless you're going to a different party that just so happens to have the same theme."

"Wow, wait a sec. Are you saying that these two Americans, Cat is throwing the party for, are _your_ sons?"

"I guess so. Why?"

"No reason. _Dear_ ", hisses Envy, a conspiratorial smirk on his face. He then grabs a bilious green apple, before exiting the kitchen.

Trisha is visibly confused whereas Pride knows exactly what is going on and thus rolls his eyes. "You've just provided him with ammunition, you know that, right?"

"I'm afraid, I don't understand."

"If so, let me elucidate it, Miss. He is the son of a _headmaster_. And your boys are the son of a _maid_."

"Actually, I would prefer the term _housekeeper_."

"That doesn't matter. Especially not to _him_."

"Well. If so, I hope, it won't matter to him either that my sons aren't ashamed of what I'm doing."

"Please, Miss Elric. I know my brother. Meaning that I also know what that vicious smirk of his means. Edward and Alphonse are going to be his next victims."

Contrary to Selim's expectations, Trisha just keeps focusing on his supper instead of getting worried. Still keeping her smile, she then answers: "That's too bad. I was actually hoping they'd become friends. But that's for them to decide, right?"

Pride cannot believe his eyes and ears: "Why on earth are you acting so weird?"

"Oh darling. I've already left high school, many years ago. Besides, I know my sons. And right now, I'm more worried about your brother than about my sweethearts."

Pride is not fully convinced yet: "Well, _I_ know my brother. Needless to say, he is not as intelligent as I am, but he certainly is one hell of a demagogue."

"You don't say, my dear. But why don't we just leave it at that? Because right now, there is a much more important question I have to ask you."

"I'm all ears", announces Selim Pride snobbishly.

"Well, if so – do you want tea or juice?", asks Trisha with a warm-hearted smile.

The youngest Bradley is speechless...

OOO

"I'm proud of ya!", chuckles Breda, a toothpick dangling between his teeth.

He then hands a beer to Riza as if he is the actual host of flat 3a. Despite being afraid of Black Hayate, Heymans comes over almost every day, just like he used to do in the past. And the moment he is entering the flat, he usually heads for the fridge to grab a beer that matches his beloved hot dog. It is only a matter of time until he will get his own keys.

"And why exactly are you proud of me again? Just because I haven't killed him yet, doesn't mean he's out of danger! That son of a bitch!"

"His mom is like dead."

"That's not the point."

"Trust me, I know whatcha mean. But I've already talked with that Elric-boy and he promised me he'd protect Kain from now on."

"Who, _Edward_ Elric? I haven't met him yet but I heard that he's... Well... Short."

"Yeah. But if there's anything, I've learned in all these years as a cop, then this – you should always be afraid of the shorter ones!"

Riza nods pensively, while Breda is changing the subject: "Hey, why don't we talk about your friendships instead? The match didn't start yet, so I'm all ears."

"Well. Here's the sad truth. That conversation would even fit into the five-sec-spot."

"Seriously? You haven't even befriended Mr. 3b?"

"There are two misters living in 3b."

"Yeah but you know which one I mean."

Riza is trying hard to ignore Heyman's meaningful smirk. But then, she suddenly decides to share a secret with her friend: "Breda... I'm starting to think this guy is slightly... Perverse..."

Breda raises an eyebrow. "Who? Roy Mustang?"

Riza nods. "After he and I had talked for the first and the last time, I bumped into two of his _guests_. He probably doesn't even know because he didn't see me but I did see them."

"What about those _guests_? Were they too young?"

"No, they must have been in their twenties. But since I've never seen Havoc with a woman so far, I'm starting to think that this one girl, I've met on my first day here, must have been another one of Roy's _guests_. And that girl certainly was young."

"So what? Maybe she's just a relative."

"She wasn't dressed like someone who was visiting a friendly cousin."

"And what if she was visiting that guy in 2b?"

"You mean Scar?"

"Yeah. He's spending a lot of time with that Chinese fifteen-year-old."

"Don't be ridiculous. He's like a brother to May. So trust me, there is nothing scandalous about their relationship. I mean, they're even closer than many actual siblings are..."

Breda does not answer since he is secretly waiting for her to finally open up to him.

However, Riza has never been the kind of person who talks about feelings. This is why she just decides to change the subject: "The match is about to begin. I'll get us some Chinese food from the _Dragon's Pulse_."

Heymans nods excitedly before quickly gobbling his beloved hot dog...

OOO

"Where are you going?", asks Roy without looking up from the papers he is preparing for the first week of school at the moment.

Havoc stops right in front of the door. Without turning around, he then answers: "I'm going out for a walk."

"I bet you are."

Jean gulps.

"Come on, Havoc. I'm a grown-up man and so are you. Plus, you're my best friend, so you can tell me the truth."

Jean sighs. "Fine, you win. I'm going to meet _someone_."

"Deeply interesting. And do we know our future Mrs. Havoc?", asks Roy with a playful smirk.

"Hey, it's not like that, okay? We're more like... Physical..."

"I see. Is that why you're being so secretive?"

"Exactly! So... Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to -"

"Of course. Just go."

"Thanks. And what are your plans for tonight?"

"I'll try to get some work done. Unlike you, I'm not a PE teacher which means that I actually do need to prepare my lessons."

"Bye, Roy", grunts Havoc with a grumpy look.

"Bye, my love", answers Roy and grins naughtily.

Jean returns his grin and leaves.

"Business before pleasure, huh?", soliloquises Roy, before suddenly starting to speed up the working process...

OOO

The Armstrong mansion in the Drachma Row, the richest street in the richest borough Briggs, or perhaps even the richest street in Amestris, is already bursting at the seams when the Elric-brothers enter its extensive front garden.

"I'm beginning to think that coming here was a bad idea", mutters Ed, who is wearing a _Robin Hood_ -costume.

"Are you kidding me, brother? I've been always curious about the northern borough, which means that this is the point of no return!", retorts Al, who is wearing a _Sherlock Holmes_ -costume. He could not look more classy and _British_.

Ed sighs. "Okay, whatever. But I swear, Al, if somebody in there disses me...!"

"Got it, brother."

"Fine."

Al rings the doorbell...

OOO

Edward, Alphonse and a gentle butler are entering the huge entrance hall a few seconds later.

"I'll inform Ms Armstrong about your arrival! You two can wait here, I'll be right back!"

"Thank you, Sir!", answers Alphonse in a gallant manner. The butler nods and smiles politely before leaving the room.

Edward chuckles before impersonating his brother: " _Thank you, Sir_."

"What? I'm just being polite!"

"That's for sure, Al."

Only now do Winry, Kain, May and host Catherine Elle Armstrong enter the entrance hall.

"Well, hello, hello! Welcome to my residence!", warbles host Catherine, who is wearing a Queen-costume.

Edward is trying hard to force a smile on his face whereas Alphonse is temporarily being distracted by the cutest tea pot he has ever seen: May. Ironically enough, the usually cheerful Chinese is equally speechless at that very moment.

"Gosh, I love your costumes!", squeals Catherine while tugging Alphonse's sleeve.

"Thank you, my Queen!", retorts Al charmingly which causes May to scowl a little at that precise moment.

But Alphonse knows how to endear himself to people: "In fact, all of you look amazing!"

"Thank you so much! Now come! I'll show you guys around!", decides Catherine enthusiastically.

"You know what I like best about your costume? Your euphoric smile", whispers Winry into Ed's ear, while the six of them are heading for the living room.

Edward cannot help but smile. " _Hermione_ , huh?"

"Yeah... She's my role model, you know...?", murmurs Winry shyly.

"If so, I already know who's gonna help me out at school", retorts Ed with a cheeky grin on his face which causes her to blush instantly...

OOO

In the meantime, Scodran Khan and Olivier are spending a rather restful evening together.

"Who's going to clean up the mess after your sister's party?"

"Catherine and I have an understanding. She'll be allowed to throw parties whenever she wants as long as she takes care of the cleaning-up operation afterwards. Our staff deserves better than that."

"That's the right attitude."

"Yeah. Sorry that I'm taking refuge at your place."

"It's okay. Mi casa es su casa", announces Scar unemotionally.

"Thanks", answers Olivier in an equally unsentimental tone.

"So. I guess, it's time for _The Lord of the Rings_ then?"

"How do you know my favourite film?", asks Olivier, who is obviously surprised.

" _Please_. You almost finished with Miles once just because he'd insulted Elijah Wood's acting skills."

"Right. And I'd totally do it again", she clarifies dryly.

Olivier's best friend cannot help but grin...

OOO

Having finished his work, Roy takes the chocolate, he has successfully hidden from his flatmates, and opens his door when a male ginger unexpectedly exits flat 3a. Adjusting his policeman uniform, Heymans heads for the stairs without even noticing the neighbour's curious look.

Roy, on the other hand, does not move at all. At that very moment, he is starting to question his plan to knock on Riza Hawkeye's door. After all, he does not know who and what the male ginger is which is why he finally decides to leave it at that. At least for now...

OOO

Later that day, Trisha is making tea for the man of the house, who has locked himself in his home office a few hours ago. This is her last job before she will finally be free to leave.

"What the bloody hell are you doing?", she suddenly hears somebody ask behind her. It is Ling Greed, who is relaxedly leaning against the wooden door frame.

"I'm making tea. For your father. Why, is something wrong?"

"Of course it is. You're the housekeeper, not his servant. So it's not your job to _feed_ him."

"It's absolutely fine by me, dear. I'm always glad to help", answers Trisha with a warm-hearted smile.

"Well, Trish. There's a difference between helping and serving, you know? I'm just saying. I'm not the only one in this house who likes exploiting others. I'd even go as far as to say that this is one of the few thing, all of the Bradleys have in common. It's true, I'm not the only greedy here."

Trisha chuckles angelically. "So, you're saying that you certainly are greedy?"

"Of course, I am! I want everything, you can think of! Money and women, power and sex, status, glory! I demand the finest things!", reveals Ling Greed with a greedy look in his violet eyes.

For a second, Trisha feels quite intimidated by him which is why Greed immediately clarifies: "Don't worry, I'd never throw myself at you. That would just complicate things, and right now, you and my sister's fiancé are the only likeable people in this bloody house."

Trisha nods slowly. "Thank you, my dear." Having lowered her voice, she then cautiously remarks: "I've already noticed that you and your siblings are having some issues... And in case you wanna talk about it... You know where you can find me...!"

"There isn't much to talk about. What's missing in this house, is tolerance. I do tolerate my siblings' and my father's characteristics but they don't tolerate mine. The only person who did that, was mother..."

Trisha does not answer in order to express her attention.

However, instead of opening up to her, Greed just changes the subject: "Have you seen my car keys, perhaps? I can't find them anywhere and Dolcetto and the others are already waiting for me at the _Devil's Nest_."

"Dolcetto, Roa, Martel and Paninya, right?", asks Trisha with a motherly smile on her face, while handing the keys to him.

"Thanks... And how do you know their names?"

"You mentioned them once."

"And you actually memorised them?"

"Why wouldn't I?", chuckles Trisha.

"Because nobody ever does", answers Ling Greed before quickly putting a naughty smirk on his face in order to hide his true emotions. "Whatever. See you, Maid Trish."

Trisha smiles angelically. But Greed, who already exited the room, does not get to see it...

OOO

Just when Trisha is about to go upstairs, she suddenly hears the doorbell ring. A quizzical look in her eyes, she puts the cup down on the table before heading for the door. Having opened it, however, she cannot see anybody, which is why she jumps to the conclusion that it must have been a knock-a-door-run.

It is only when she unexpectedly discovers a basket filled with baby stuff on the doormat that Trisha forgets about her previous thought. Having looked around a few times, she hesitatingly bows down, takes the mysterious gift and enters the kitchen again, where she immediately starts examining it.

A few seconds later, she finds a card with the following words written on it: _"You can keep those as a memento. Kisses, D."_ Trisha is confused. Confused and curious. This is why she impulsively decides to ignore the reproachful voice in her head and just starts rummaging around in the basket until she unexpectedly discovers a cuddly blanket with the initials _P.G._ on it.

It is only when she suddenly hears footsteps behind her that Trisha promptly puts the blanket back into the basket and quickly grabs the tea cup.

"I heard the doorbell. Who was it?", asks Mr Bradley.

"Nobody. But that nobody left a gift for you, Sir."

"A gift...?"

Instead of explaining the situation verbally, Trisha just hands the basket and the card to him.

Wrath, who is visibly confused at that moment, just puts the basket down, before reading the card.

Trisha can tell by the puzzled look in his eyes that this mysterious message has to mean _something_.

"Miss Elric. You're free to go now."

"Sir... Is something wrong...?"

"No! Not at all! It's just that... A friend of ours lost her child recently... And these are Selim's old baby things, that we'd given to them prior to that tragic event. But unfortunately, they won't be needing these any more, so."

Trisha nods silently, knowing full well that her boss has just lied to her...

OOO

Even though the party at Catherine's is quite entertaining, Edward is somehow having a hard time enjoying it. To keep his lack of party mood a secret from the others, he isolates himself from them for a few minutes and smokes a cigarette in the back garden, that is even more extensive than the front garden: Waterspout fountains, trees, statues and even a maze. Ed is unwillingly impressed.

"Are you _envious_ now?", he suddenly hears someone ask behind him.

Edward instantly averts his eyes from the formidable view and abruptly turns his head: The male person who has just spoken to him is sitting on a low-lying branch. Ed can merely see the boy's London guard-costume. But since the moon is illuminating him from behind, Ed cannot see his face too. That being said, he is convinced that he had heard that husky voice before.

"Let's call it _impressed_. Jealousy isn't really my thing", he finally retorts.

The stranger laughs amusedly, before suddenly leaping down so that he lands right in front of Ed's feet. However, the moment he recognises those golden eyes, he reflexively backs off a few steps.

Edward, on the other hand, has not recognised him yet. "What, huh? Has the cat got your tongue?", he retorts boldly.

Silence.

But all of a sudden, Edward can see pearl white teeth and violet eyes flashing in the night. And only now do the scales finally fall from his golden eyes: " _You...!_ "

Hearing Ed's fists crack, Envy cannot help but smirk viciously. "Hey. Long time, no see. How are you, _pipsqueak_?"

Edward furiously jumps at him, shouting: "THAT'S THE FOURTH TIME ALREADY!"

"Impressive. You've got a _short_ memory there", remarks Ivan Envy with a mischievous smirk.

Just when Ed is about to slap him, he suddenly hears Catherine's voice in the distance, which is why he quickly removes himself from the other boy's lap.

Meanwhile, Catherine is addressing herself to her butler: "Just take the red, white and blue firecrackers, please!" Her butler nods and leaves. And only now does she spot her male best friend and her guest of honour. "Congratulations, Envy! Looks like you've finally found Robin Hood!"

In a matter of seconds, Envy's devilish face turns into an angelic one. "Yes. And you were totally right. He's really cool."

"Excuse me?", whispers Ed in a sarcastic tone.

"Ed, please allow me to introduce my BFF to you! This is Ivan Envy Bradley! Envy, this is Edward Elric, our newcomer!"

Ed cannot believe his ears: "Your name is _Envy_? As in _the deadly sin_?"

"And your name is Edward? As in _Edward Cullen_?" Silence.

It takes Edward a few seconds to finally come up with a witty answer: "Let me guess – _Twilight_ is your favorite book, huh?" Silence.

"Definitely not", retorts Envy dryly.

"Envy, the team is looking for you!", intervenes Catherine, after she checked her phone.

"I'm already on my way", answers Envy, before giving the other boy a disdainful look. And Edward does not hesitate to return it.

"Isn't he adorable?", giggles Catherine, after her best friend left.

"Yeah... Totally... Is he your...?"

"What? No! We're just friends! Speaking of which... Winry is looking for you!"

"She is...?"

"Come with me!", she commands before grabbing his hand and heading for the living room, in which Winry, Kain, May and Alphonse are sitting.

"What's your zodiac sign?", asks May, the astrology-addict, curiously.

"Pisces. And yours?", asks Alphonse interestedly.

"My God! Mine, too!", warbles May cheerfully.

"What a funny coincidence. And what can you tell me about our zodiac sign?", asks Alphonse this time.

May opens her mouth to say something.

However, Edward just interrupts them: "Come on, brother! Don't tell me you're actually believing in this hanky-panky!"

"Why not? I'm a big fan of astronomy too, so!", argues Alphonse.

When Edward notices his younger brother's red cheeks, he raises an eyebrow. At that very moment, he does not understand what is happening.

Meanwhile, May is determined to prove the older Elric-boy wrong: "Okay then! Just let me try to guess your zodiac sign! And if I guess right, you'll promptly take that back!"

"Fine. Go ahead. You're gonna fail anyway", retorts Ed boastfully.

"Really, huh? Let's see... You're a hothead."

" _What_?"

"Perhaps even arrogant at times."

"Sorry?"

"Also, bossy."

"Um hello?"

"And they say, you're very intelligent too."

"Now, you're talking!"

"I'd say... Aries?", giggles May.

Silence.

But then Alphonse bursts into laughter all of a sudden.

"Busted!", warbles May cheerfully.

However, Edward just changes the subject: "Can I get you a drink?"

"Come on, Ed, why don't you just admit that you were wrong?", asks Winry laughingly.

"Because he's an Aries and that means he's stubborn as hell!", explains May. All of her friends, except for Ed, start chuckling.

"Hey Winry, aren't you a Sagittarius?", asks May this time.

"Yes. Why are you asking, May?", asks Winry curiously.

"Just because. You know? They say that Sagittarius and Aries go perfectly together!", giggles the hobby astrologer amusedly.

When the others start laughing this time, Edward is not the only one in the group who remains silent...

OOO

Shortly before midnight, the guests are heading for the back garden where a great firework is taking place. The firework shows the British flag and the American flag.

"Damn, that girl Catherine must be insane...!", remarks Edward.

Winry, who is standing next to him, cannot hold back a cheeky laugh. "I know, Ed. But you just have to love her craziness, right?"

Edward slowly turns his head and smiles at her.

"What?", asks Winry and winks cheekily.

"Nothing", answers Ed, who is still smiling. But then he just turns around and in order to watch the firework again.

Meanwhile, Winry is already blushing for the fifth time that night...

OOO

When the doorbell rings late at night, Trisha, who has been reading a book in the kitchen of her new house the entire time, flinches immediately. It is only when she hears the sound of keys that are rattling in the keyhole and her sons' laughter in the corridor, that she instantly sighs with relief. "Oh, it's you...!"

"Of course, who else did you expect?", asks Edward with a cheeky smirk on his face.

"No one! Say, how was the party?", asks Trisha interestedly.

"It was very nice! And so were the people!", answers Alphonse happily.

"Especially May Chang, am I right?", chuckles Edward.

"That's rich coming from you, Mr. Rockbell!", retorts his younger brother.

"Looks like I missed something, huh?", asks Trisha with a teasing smile.

"No!", answer her sons in unison...

OOO

Later that night, Edward is walking down his living street again while listening to Lana Del Rey's _National Anthem_ on his Ipod. No matter how hard he is trying, he just cannot get Winry out of his head: Her long and blonde hair, her deep blue eyes, her gorgeous body. The overall package just screams _PERFECTION._

It is only when Edward suddenly hears the scratching sound of a spading shovel that he immediately forgets about Winry. Looking around, he finds himself standing in front of house number 66.

But instead of going home, Edward silently heads for the back garden of the Bradley house, where Mr Bradley is burying _something_ at the moment. _"What the hell are you doing, Mr. Bradley...?"_ When a cat jumps on his back all of a sudden, Edward accidentally lets out a squeak. _"Shit!"_ , he curses inwardly, before quickly covering his mouth.

However, the damage is already done: "Hallo? Is someone out there?"

The only thing interrupting the deafening silence is Edward's all the more deafening heartbeat. King slowly puts the shovel down and heads for the bushes while Edward is crawling away as quietly and fast as possible...

OOO

Running down the street a few seconds later, he constantly turns his head in order to make sure that nobody is following him. That is how he ends up bumping into someone and falling backwards. _"Fuck, damnit!"_ , he grunts inwardly. He can already smell the blood that is running down his elbow at that moment.

However, he briefly forgets about his fresh wound when suddenly black patent leather shoes and a black gloved hand appear before his eyes. Looking up, Edward is surprised to see Ivan Envy Bradley, of all people, standing there and extending his hand to help him up. Ed does not move.

And Envy can tell by the look in his golden eyes, that mistrust is preventing him from taking his hand in the first place. In order to show Edward, that he is genuinely interested in helping him, he just nods encouragingly. And having given it some thought, Edward finally decides to take the other boy's hand. Contrary to his expectations, Envy is indeed giving him a leg-up. But what is surprising him in the first place is the fact that – even after he stood up again – Envy does not loosen his grip.

Not knowing what else he could say in that weird situation, Ed spontaneously decides to thank him, when Envy suddenly pulls his arm so vigorously that their foreheads almost touch. He then leans forward, so that his cold breath brushes the shorter boy's neck, and whispers: _"You know what?"_

Edward, whose body stiffened completely for some reason, does not answer, which gives his tormentor the opportunity to continue: _"I'm going to make your life a living hell."_

Hearing that threat, Ed instantly bares his teeth. But instead of allowing the blond boy to pick a fight, Envy just decides to walk away, all of a sudden...


	3. Million Dollar Man

**IMPORTANT INFORMATION AHEAD:**

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own anything, not the brand names, not the song titles and especially not the series/manga.

 **Inspiration:** As some of you may have noticed, the mystery-part of the story is sort of inspired by the series Pretty Little Liars. And those of you who know the series will understand as well why the flat, Jean Havoc and Roy Mustang are living in, has been given the number 3b.

 **Wedding:** Of course the secret wedding is not going to be the Bradley-Armstrong-Wedding. That would be way too easy, am I right?

 **Character:** Keep in mind that there will not be any OOCs! Every character is from Fullmetal Alchemist! _D._ and _P.G._ included.

 **\- Chapter 3: Million Dollar Man -**

"Father! We need to talk, immediately!", announces King Wrath Bradley furiously, after he entered the _Leto Church_ in the conservative, eastern borough Liore.

A forty-five-year-old priest with snow-white hair, a matching beard and an equally white robe is lighting slim, long candles at the moment. And unlike his visitor, Father Hohenheim – that is his name – is thoroughly unflappable: "What can I do for you, my son?"

Instead of answering his question verbally, King just hands him the mysterious card, he received from _D._ yesterday. "Somebody left that message for me, along with a basket full of baby things!"

Father cups his own chin, remarking: "Unsettling..." He then asks: "Do you have any idea who that person might be?"

"No, I don't have the slightest clue! But I do know for sure that _D._ found out about our secrets!"

"How... Unsettling", repeats Father, still calmly...

OOO

"What are the teachers like?", asks Alphonse interestedly. Right now he is standing in front of the school building next to his scowling brother and his friends Kain, Winry and May.

Having looked the two handsome boys in school uniforms up and down, Winry answers: "You already know my two flatmates, right?"

"Yeah", grunts Ed, who cannot help but scowl at the thought of _Playroy Mustard_.

"So Mr Mustang is the maths and IT teacher, whereas my brother and Catherine's sister Olivier are PE teachers. And Mr Hughes is the PSHE teacher", enumerates Winry.

"And what about that Scar-guy?", asks Ed while scratching his blue hat.

"He's a fabulous music teacher! And my favourite one along with Dr. Marcoh!", giggles May.

"Is Dr. Marcoh your science teacher?", asks Alphonse interestedly.

"Uh-huh!", warbles May.

"If so, we'll be in the same class, I guess!", announces Al happily which causes her to smile cheerfully.

"What'll be your first class, Ed?", asks Kain while adjusting his nerd glasses.

"History with Mr. Falman. And then Latin with Mr. Grumman. And yours?"

"Same. And after that, I'm going to have art and design with Mr Armstrong", answers Riza's stepbrother.

"Another Armstrong?", asks Alphonse with a surprised mien.

"Yes and he's just as lovely as his two siblings are!", giggles May.

Edward raises an eyebrow, asking: "Wait, are you actually saying that this _Ice Queen_ is _lovely_?"

"Well, Ed. One thing you should know about May is that she's saying that about anybody! My mean sister included!", intervenes Catherine, who just came out of nowhere.

"That's not true! I'm not saying that about your other _BFF_!", retorts May.

" _Now you're talking!"_ , answers Edward inwardly. But he would never say that out loud while Catherine is with them.

"Is anyone else having literacy with Ms Sheska now?", she asks.

"You mean in the second period, right? First we're having French together!", interposes Winry.

"Oh. Right", realises Cat. "And we'll probably be surrounded by many horny boys in that classroom!", she then giggles.

"Why is that?", asks May curiously.

"Because the French teacher Ms Rebecca Catalina is a real bombshell!", explains Catherine with a cheeky smirk on her face.

When May notices Alphonse's curious face, she immediately asks: "Do you have Latin or French?"

"Latin, why?", asks Al with a friendly smile.

"No reason!", fibs May nervously while secretly sighing with relief.

"I also have Latin. But after hearing that, I'm starting to regret that", interposes Edward with a naughty smirk on his face, in response to which Winry gives him a grumpy look...

OOO

A few minutes later, Kain and Edward are entering the classroom while laughing about some Youtube video. It is only when they spot a caricature of Kain Fuery along with words like _loser_ and _freak_ on the blackboard that their laughter dies down abruptly. When Envy's lacrosse team starts laughing this time, Kain instantly slouches his shoulders and heads for the door.

However, Edward quickly seizes him by the collar, whispering: "Where do you think you're going, huh?" Right after that, he suddenly addresses himself to the class: "Who did that, huh?" The laughter stops immediately.

"Oh. Nobody? That's weird. All of a sudden, you all are dead silent. How come, huh? Is it because you're ashamed of your bad drawing skills? Fifteen against two. I thought cowards like you were only cowards when being alone but you're still in the majority, meaning that you can stop being cowards now!" Deafening silence and impressed miens. Somewhere one can hear the sound of a chirping cricket.

Only one boy works up the courage to answer him: "Why are you even defending that loser?"

"Counter question – why do you guys think he's a loser in the first place?", retorts Edward self-confidently. Deafening silence part two.

"I know how it works. All of you are insecure. You join groups in order to overshadow your insecurities and bully those who haven't found their groups yet. And a few years later, when your groups are gonna fall apart, you'll be left on your own, without any fighting skills whatsoever. And one more time you're gonna kneel before someone who's less insecure than you and let him decide anything instead of making decisions on your fucking own!" Deafening silence part three.

"I mean, don't you get it? Your puppet master is the person who is picking the victims and you are the brainless puppets that are handing over the responsibility instead of questioning your leader's decisions! So what's next? Are we gonna be like _Heil Hitler_ again?"

The students cannot believe their ears. Collective speechlessness is echoing again and again for the following seconds. And Mr Falman, who just came out of nowhere, is even more shocked than all the others...

OOO

And that is how Edward ends up in the headmaster's office. "Principal Bradley! You have to believe me! It was all just a big misunderstanding!"

"Well... The students told Mr Falman that you were praising Adolf Hitler. And now you're sitting in that chair, on your very first school day and – correct me if I'm wrong – but wasn't that just supposed to be your very first lesson too?"

"Okay, why don't you ask Kain Fuery, Sir? He's going to confirm that I was just trying to explain the consequences of bullying to them!"

"Well, according to the students, he's just defending you because he's terrified of you."

"What? That's ridiculous! Kain and I are friends! Besides, the real problem here is -!"

"Yes? Mr Elric?", asks Mr Bradley. However, his questions sounds more like an admonishment.

When Edward unexpectedly spots the beautiful _"World's Best Daddy"_ -tea cup and the picture of Mrs Bradley on his headmaster's desk, he spontaneously decides to keep quiet, while inwardly screaming: _"Your son is the bully, not I!"_

So instead, he ends up asking the following question: "What kind of punishment do you have in mind, Sir?"

Mr Bradley folds his hands before answering his question...

OOO

"Detention...? Are you serious...? God, I'm so sorry, Ed...! This is all my fault...! Nobody wanted to believe me, not even our teacher...!", murmurs Kain, when he and his friends Winry, May and Alphonse meet him after school.

"I know. They actually think you're afraid of me", grunts Edward.

"That's unbelievable! Mr Falman is always so nice!", interposes May.

"I guess, he just doesn't want to mess with the headmaster", speculates Winry.

"Either way, I'm very proud of you! The school needs more people like you!", remarks May.

The others agree immediately. Alphonse, on the other hand, remains silent...

OOO

A few days before the summer holidays had started, important information had leaked out: Headmaster Bradley and Assistant Headmaster Grumman are going to nominate the future assistant headmaster or headmistress by the end of this school year. And no one is more interested in that position than Roy Mustang and Olivier Mira Armstrong. That is why both of them are doing their utmost to endear themselves to their boss. And staying longer at work is also part of that process.

"Well. I think I'll let Mr Mustang do the job this time. But next time, it'll be your turn, Miss Armstrong. All right?"

"Of course, Sir", answers Olivier Armstrong submissively while trying hard to ignore her friend Roy's triumphant smirk...

OOO

"You can't be serious", grunts Edward after Mr Mustang, of all people, entered the empty classroom. With his mood hitting rock bottom, the young rebel does not even bother to remove his feet from his desk.

"Would you look at that. Edward _Maverick_ , the boy who broke the record. _Earning_ detention before the very first lesson at a new school is quite an effort. Even for you, young man."

"Are you done?", asks Ed grumpily.

"Of course not." A confident look in his Kirghizian eyes, Roy grabs a chair, places it the wrong way round and sits down. Bracing his lower arms against the chair back, he then commands: "Tell me everything."

"The hell! You're not even a guidance counselor!"

"I know. But Mr Hughes isn't available at the moment. Besides, right now, I'm the only person who's even willing to listen to your point of view."

"Why is that, huh? Are you trying to replace my dad so you can hit on my mom without feeling guilty about it?"

"Exactly", answers Roy sarcastically. Or maybe not that sarcastically. "But I also want to give you the opportunity to tell me the truth. You see? I'm Winry's flatmate which means that I know of your friendship with Kain. Kain, the Jewish boy. And you, the anti-Semite."

"I'm not a freaking anti-Semite, okay? Having Islamic ancestors doesn't make me a terrorist! I mean, Scar and you have Islamic ancestors as well, haven't you?"

"Yes. But your religious background isn't what made Mr. Bradley accuse you of anti-Semitism."

"I did not praise Adolf Hitler, okay? I was just trying to explain the dangers of hackism to these idiots! Goddammit, I wanted to protect Kain! Protect him from his brainless bullies!"

"Okay... First off, I'm pretty sure _hackism_ isn't even a word."

Ed rolls his eyes at his teacher.

However, he does not interrupt him: "Also, I'm a little confused. If you were actually giving an idealistic speech in order to protect a shy student, then why are you sitting here? Why haven't you just explained the situation to Mr. Bradley instead?"

"Because he wouldn't have believed me anyway! I mean, it's not like I haven't tried! I have! But he didn't listen to me! Nobody did! And nobody ever does!"

"I do."

"But you don't buy it either! And even if you did actually buy it, you wouldn't dare to tell your boss that you believe in my innocence! Because you're afraid of him! And so is Mr. Falman!"

Roy does not know what to say which gives Edward the opportunity to continue: "You see? I can handle detention. That's nothing new. But thinking that I could actually be an anti-Semite... That Kain is lying to them because he's terrified of his own friend... That false accusation... That's so not cool, you know..."

Mr Mustang, who is secretly quite astounded by Edward's honesty, nods. "Listen, Edward. I believe you."

"You do...?", asks Edward with a surprised look that sort of blows his cool image.

"Yes. But unfortunately, there is nothing I can do."

"Come on, there has to be _something_! I have to protect Kain, for fuck's sake!"

"And why is that? Kain isn't the one that's sitting here."

"Whatcha talking about?", asks Ed and crosses his arms.

"I'm talking about you! You, on the other hand, keep talking about someone who hasn't even been affected in the first place!"

"Damnit, don't you get it? I say, they bully him!"

"Yes, and helping Kain Fuery with his issues is really generous of you. But at the same time, it's violently wrong!"

"Fucking _what_?"

"Kain is not your little brother. He's possibly even a few months older than you. Also, he isn't the new boy in town. You are."

"What are you trying to say?"

"I'm saying that you have to set priorities. I'm not saying that you and your friends should abandon Kain. Of course, you shouldn't. You should always fight _alongside_ your friends. But that's not what you're doing. You're not fighting _alongside_ your friend, you're fighting on the front line!"

Edward raises an eyebrow. "Did you watch too many war movies or something?"

"Today, you've tried to teach your schoolmates a lesson. You told them how dangerous it would be to hand over the responsibility instead of making one's own decisions. However, in a way, you're doing the exact same thing. I know that your intentions are honorable. But that doesn't change the fact that they'll lead to the same results in the long term. Just think about it."

Instead of giving his teacher an answer, Edward just keeps staring at the wall stubbornly and with his arms crossed.

That is, until Roy suddenly gets up and heads for the blackboard. "Enough of this psychology-nonsense. Let's do some math."

Ed raises a brow. "Seriously?"

"Of course. Let's see if you're prodigy class-material."

"Gross. I bet this is how you're evaluating women after _doing_ them."

"Let me date your mom and you'll find out."

"Double gross!"

Roy, who already turned his back on him, rolls his eyes. But at the same time, he is smirking...

OOO

"You definitely did the right thing, father", remarks Envy, when he, Greed, Lust, Pride and their father are having lunch in the afternoon.

Wrath, who is reading the newspaper at the moment, just nods half-heartedly.

"Hey, Lust. Would you hand me the salt, please?", interposes Ling Greed. "I'd ask Envy but unfortunately his hands are too slimy", he adds, which causes Envy to bare his teeth.

King Bradley, who has never been the type to care about childish quarrels, just changes the subject: "How was your first day, Selim? Do you like the topic for your assignment?"

"It's a little unchallenging. But other than that, it's acceptable", answers Pride snobbishly which causes his three siblings roll their eyes.

"Will you read my essay, Trisha?", he then asks all of a sudden.

Awkward silence.

But then: "Son, please. Miss Elric is way too busy."

"Besides, why should she of all people be interested in your literacy assignment?", argues Ivan Envy. "No offence", he adds with a disdainful smirk on his face.

Instead of answering him verbally, Trisha just smiles briefly.

Selim, on the other hand, knows how to disabuse others: "Miss Elric's major subject at university was literature! Therefore, she's the only person in that house who's actually qualified to help me! Or do you seriously expect me to allow Elicia Hughes to write a better assignment than me, just because her father is helping her with these things?"

"Don't be ridiculous, son. It's not Miss Elric's duty to support your little rivalry with our neighbour. Besides, you've never needed help to win these competitions. However, in case this should have changed, you can ask Envy instead."

"Envy? _Please_. His marks aren't nearly as good as mine. Also, he considers himself a genius just because he excels in Latin. But everybody knows that Latin doesn't even require intelligence. You just have to be good at memorising stuff."

"You little piece of sh-!", hisses Envy.

"Enough! Both of you!", interrupts their father. "I'll go upstairs now! And Selim, you're coming with me! We need to talk about something!"

Selim nods obediently since he knows exactly what is expecting him. And so do his siblings. Their father is going to remind him of their first rule: Keep your distance...

OOO

There are many reasons why Alex Louis Armstrong considers himself a rich man: First of all, he really is rich. With his beloved parents departing this life, he and his two siblings inherited a vast amount of money and their exorbitant mansion. Therefore, he literally is a million dollar man. In addition to that, he considers his fiancé a great enrichment, which is why he keeps calling her peony. And Juliet calls him Romeo from time to time.

They met at work almost two years ago and it was love at first sight. At least from his point of view. Juliet Sloth, on the other hand, is a rather rational person than a romantic dreamer. Or in Alex's words: Rationality passed down the Bradley line for generations. When he decided to ask her out one day, she told him to fill out a questionnaire first.

The only question that was missing was the one about his financial situation. It was only when they became a couple that she found out about his wealthiness, meaning that she had fallen in love with him without being aware of the _promising_ circumstances. And despite the fact that they could not be more different, they have always stuck together.

However, things have started to change after their engagement. First of all, there are three persons who do not welcome that wedding at all. One of them is Selim Pride Bradley who is strongly convinced that Alex Louis Armstrong poses a threat to his relationship with his only trustworthy sibling Juliet Sloth.

The second person is Mr Bradley, who cannot stand soft people like Alex. King would have wanted his daughter to date a man who is more like Roy Mustang: Ambitious and composed. That being said, he strongly disfavours the young teacher's greed for power and status. But being a person who has been taught to work hard for his goals, Wrath cannot help but think that Alex, who was born rich, is not militant enough to cope with a woman like Juliet Sloth. King does think differently about Olivier though. In his opinion, she is a high-principled woman who has way more things in common with his daughter than with her own siblings.

But despite their similarities and their love for Alex, they do not get along with each other, which makes Olivier the third person who is dismissing the idea of a _Bradstrong_ -Wedding. Mainly because Olivier is convinced that Sloth is greedy for their money.

The lack of support certainly is a problem. But there are even more conflicts that are watering the dark cloud hovering above their future marriage bed. Conflicts that are based on secrets. And since Sloth is not a good actress – the only character she can play authentically is the steadfast pragmatist – Alex is starting to realise that she is keeping some.

One thing that is not a secret at all is Juliet's conservative value system, which is clearly inspired by Catholic guidelines. According to that, Alex is not allowed to have sex with his virgin fiancé before marrying her. Sloth's best friend Rebecca is convinced that there is a reason why their relationship is moving forward that fast despite the fact that Juliet is actually not the kind of woman who rushes things: Alex's longing for the night of all nights on the one hand and Sloth's wish to become Mrs Million Dollar Man on the other hand. So all in all, there are not too many people who are actually believing in their relationship. But Alex and Juliet are still determined to prove them wrong.

"You look worried, my peony."

Sloth does not answer. Lying to the people she loves goes strictly against her principles. Just like lying in general does. However, telling him the whole truth is not an option either, which is why she decides to tell him the half of it instead: "I'm worried about my brother."

 _Et voilà_ – another potential conflict: Out of all the Bradleys, Ling Greed and Solaris Lust, who just so happen to be the two family members Juliet is having issues with, are the only people who are actually getting along with Alex.

"What is it this time?", he asks, while trying hard to sound as empathetic as possible.

"He's stealing."

"Are you certain...?"

"Not yet. But lately, he is _buying_ himself many new things. _Expensive_ things. And he doesn't even have a job or something like that."

"Yes, so?"

" _So_ if you ask me, there are only three possible explanations for that. Stealing, generous women or gambling..."

"But he wouldn't do that, would he?"

"Of course, he would! And you should know that, you haven't just met him yesterday!"

"I know but... Hey, why don't you just ask him straightforwardly?"

"Why would I do that? He wouldn't tell me anyway!"

Alex sighs as quietly as possible. "Too bad, my peony. Too bad...", he then answers to shorten the conversation...

OOO

Although Juliet Sloth usually tends to overreact when it comes to Ling Greed, she actually does happen to be right about everything this time: At that very moment, he is leaving the Poker round, his shoulders burdened with gambling debts. They gave him three days. Three days to pay nine thousand pounds. And Ling Greed is dead broke.

While driving around a few hours later, he starts toying with the idea of leaving town. Just like that. It would not be the first time. He already tried to do it once. He and his best friend came up with that idea almost one year ago, right after said friend had committed a horrible crime. But instead of sticking to their plan, his friend suddenly came up with a new one: In order to bypass prison, he just pretended to be mentally disturbed. And all of a sudden, Ling Greed was all alone. He did leave Amestris without his friend, but running out of money, he soon had to return.

Knowing full well that this time would not be any different, he suddenly comes up with a better solution: And this is how he ends up turning the car around and driving northwards...

OOO

"They say that you're good at keeping secrets."

Olivier Mira Armstrong, who is sitting in an emerald green velvet armchair that looks like a throne, slowly crosses her legs. "Whoever told you that must have forgotten to mention my impatience. I can't stand people who are beating about the bush", she retorts coldly.

Ling Greed shrugs. "Alright then. I need a job."

"What kind of job?"

"A job that will get me nine thousand pounds within three days."

Olivier rolls her eyes. "Please tell me that you're planning to donate that money."

"Will you help me out, if I just say yes?", asks Ling Greed sarcastically.

"Are you nuts? I'm not your freaking bank!"

"Of course, you aren't. Like I said, I'm going to work for that money. However, I do need an advance because otherwise, someone will shatter my knee caps."

"For fuck's sake, are we actually talking about gambling debts?"

Greed's silentness speaks volumes.

"You can't be serious...", mutters Olivier, who is visibly puzzled at that precise moment.

Ling Greed raises an eyebrow. "You know what's surprising me in the first place? Your obvious astonishment. I mean, you're friends with my sister which means that there's no way she hasn't told you about my... Well. I think the correct term is _behavioural problems_."

"She mentioned it. But I never rely on other people's judgement. That being said, I'm starting to think she was right about you. Gambling is a very foolish thing to do. And don't you dare use your middle name as an excuse for your stupidity."

"Well... I guess that means I need to come up with a back-up plan then, huh?"

"Is that so? And what would that be? A bank robbery?"

"If only. Right now, I'm even too broke to buy myself a gun and a balaclava."

"Hey, if you really want my help, you better quit being so goddamn sarcastic!"

Ling Greed is confused: "I don't understand... Are you actually going to help me...?"

"I am."

"Seriously?"

"Yes. But only on one condition."

"I knew it."

"Shut up and listen to me", she commands coldly.

Despite his generally rebellious attitude, Ling Greed just obeys for the moment.

"I'm going to ask you to do something. You will have time until tomorrow evening. If you succeed, I'll deliver the money in person to your delinquent friends. But if you fail instead, you can say goodbye to your knee caps."

"Got it. So what are you asking me to do?"

"Get – a – job!"

"Excuse me?"

"You're dismissed!", announces Olivier Mira Armstrong before asking the butler non-verbally to escort the guest outside.

And just like that, Ling Greed's mood hits rock bottom: Because one of the few things in the world, he is definitely not greedy for, is hard work. But since he has no other choice, he decides to swallow the bitter pill...

OOO

That is how he ends up at the _Dragon's Pulse_ restaurant a few hours later.

"Your aura is blurry. I can see light but I can see shadows too."

Ling Greed, who is relaxedly leaning against a dragon-shaped pillar, raises an eyebrow. "Should I have brought my incense sticks to this job interview?"

"Are you a comedian or something?", retorts Fu.

"Nope. I'm unemployed. Which is why I need this job."

"Have you ever worked at a restaurant?"

"Nope."

"Have you ever worked at all?"

"Nope."

"Then tell me – why would I even hire you, huh?"

"Well... I'm half Chinese, I love Chinese food and I want a change of scenery. Also, I'm quite popular in town, which means that your restaurant will be bursting at the seams when people get to see me here."

"Let me interrupt you!"

Ling Greed gives him a quizzical, almost uncharacteristically insecure look.

"You've already convinced me, when you said _'I love Chinese food'_."

"So...?"

"So... Start working!"

"Seriously?", asks Greed, who is not nearly as enthusiastic as he actually should be.

"Our waiter Ed is going to work you in. You'll find him in the kitchen."

"Seriously?", asks Ling Greed in an even more unenthusiastic tone as before.

"I'm always serious", retorts Fu in a rather dry tone...

OOO

Same building, different storey: Kain is currently repairing another computer when the doorbell suddenly rings. Having opened the door, he is visibly surprised to see: "Alphonse?"

"Yes... Do you mind, if I...?"

"Please, come in!"

"Thank you!"

In a matter of seconds, Kain starts tidying the table. "Can I get you a drink or something?"

"No, thanks. Actually I can't stay long, I just wanted to talk with you...", explains Alphonse while gently stroking Black Hayate's head. "About today's happenings..."

Kain nods silently. "I don't know what to say... What Ed did for me today... I mean, don't get me wrong! Winry and May are also trying to protect me whenever they can but..." Silence.

"Listen, Kain. I know my brother. And I also know how much he likes you. But sadly, that's not the only reason why he did this today."

"I don't understand..."

"Well. Ed is a natural born guardian angel. But he's also a maverick. And I love him for both! But the teachers don't. And neither does our society. Envy may be a bully but – unlike my brother – he knows how to contain himself when the situation requires it." Alphonse sighs. "See, what I'm trying to say is that my brother loves revolting just as much as he loves protecting others. But I'm afraid, he sometimes tends to forget that nobody is protecting him... Protecting him from others... Protecting him from himself..."

"Don't get me wrong, Al... But are you saying that your brother is a maniac...?"

"Kain, come on! He got punished on his first day of school! Because of a silly caricature on the blackboard! Besides, did you notice that his right wrist is slightly crooked?"

"No, I didn't... What happened?"

"When we were children, he got into a fight with an older and taller bully to protect me. I mean, that guy did stop harassing after that, but that's not the point here."

"Oh man... I know, I'm supposed to pity your brother but I just can't help but... Admire him..."

"Same! And I don't just admire him, I believe in him, too! But he's not the only one."

"What are you saying, Alphonse?"

"I'm saying that you too can do something about your situation!"

Kain nods. "That's nice of you. But we both know that I'm too weak for that... I mean, neither am I verbally strong nor physically."

"All you need is the right technique!"

"You mean as in _combat technique_?"

"Yes. May has a few martial arts skills in store and so have I. We could teach you. When my Sensei taught me Karate, I didn't just learn how to fight. I learnt how to keep my mental balance too."

"I can't believe this..."

"Why...? Is this a bad idea...?", asks Al sheepishly.

"No, what I mean is that I can't believe you'd go that far, just to protect your brother...!"

"You're right, I am doing this for Ed. Bu I'm also doing this for you! You know...? Edward is not the only one that likes you, Kain..."

Kain gives him an astonished look. However, the blond boy's angelic smile encourages him to smile as well: Until today, May and Cat have been good friends of his but so far, Winry has been his only best friend along with Heymans. Therefore, Alphonse's words mean a lot to him...

OOO

"You don't need to lock the doors. Because nobody stays longer than Fu himself. Cleaning tables and floors will be part of the job though", explains Edward.

"Sounds fun", remarks Ling Greed sarcastically.

"Hey, this is work! And work is not supposed to be fun!"

"Okay, okay, got it, boss. Bloody hell, why can't you just be my subject?"

"Because I came here first. Also, this is not the Chinese empire... Or a SM-club."

"Wow. A racist and a pervert."

"Shut up... Um..."

"The name is Greed."

Edward gives him a puzzled look. " _Again_?"

"What do you mean? Oh wait. Now I remember. You're my brother's age."

"Your brother?"

"Envy."

"That... _Boy_ is your brother?"

Greed laughs amusedly. "It's okay. Let's not avoid the elephant in the room. Because I promise you, there's no one in the world who despises him as much as I do."

"You _despise_ him...?", asks Edward with a surprised look.

"Hell yes. There are times when I'd love to strangle him with his own hair." And just like that, an eternal bromance is born...

OOO

"Mr Bradley, we need to talk!", announces Trisha softly after she entered Mr Bradley's home office.

King nods and points at the chair in front of his office desk. "Of course. I was just about to take a break and talk to you, anyway. Why don't you take a seat?"

"That won't be necessary. I just came to tell you that this is going to be my last day here."

"I'm afraid, you've lost me there, Miss."

"I got a call from Mr. Hughes. He offered to talk with Edward."

"Please, I was just about to inform you about today's happenings! I'm sorry that I haven't found the time to do it earlier!"

Raising her voice a little, Trisha answers: "Actually, that's not the point, Mr. Bradley!"

"Then what is the point, Miss Elric?"

"Are you seriously asking me this? You accused Edward of anti-Semitism!"

"No, I didn't! I was merely listening to what my students and colleagues said!"

"So apparently, you were listening to everyone except for Edward!"

"Miss Elric, please. We both know that he's already had similar problems in the past."

"Yes! But his victims have never been Jews, homosexuals or other minorities! His victims have always been the culprits! Edward is like a shorter version of Robin Hood!"

"And Robin Hood was a troublemaker."

"Exactly, but he was a guardian in the first place! Perhaps you should worry more about the victims instead of focusing on the troublemakers!"

"Listen, Miss. I take your point. I really do. You're defending your son and that's honourable. But what you don't know is that Edward has already confessed."

"Mr. Bradley! Since the second I walked through your office door today, I haven't even once referred to him as my son! Because right now, I'm not defending my son! I'm defending a boy who would _never_ , _ever_ praise Adolf Hitler!" Trisha pauses for a moment, in order to calm down a little. "

"Only a few days after moving to Amestris, Edward had found himself two jobs! And in order to do that, he had to travel through the entire city! A city he isn't familiar with to this day! I begged him to leave the money-making to me but he insisted! Because he wanted to help me, not hurt me! That day, he also gave one of your colleagues and one of your students a hand. And yes, Kain is the student I'm referring to! But even if they were _not_ close...!"

"Yes, Miss Elric?", asks King Wrath attentively.

"Why would Kain be terrified of someone who has so many enemies?"

King Bradley nods silently. "Well... I do admit that you are very persuasive. And your arguments certainly are reasonable. However, one thing is still bothering me here. Edward's confession just does not tie in with all of that."

"I'm sure he had his reasons! But either way, there are only two things that Edward did wrong! First, he protected someone else instead of focusing on his own life and second, he was too proud to explain himself to you!"

"Fair enough, but what are you expecting me to do now?"

"Talk to him! But this time, _listen_ to him too!"

Mr Bradley does not answer at first. But then: "Fine, I will. But only on one condition."

"Excuse me?", asks Trisha in a reproachful tone

"Don't leave."

"Excuse me...?", repeats Trisha, rather sheepishly this time.

"Selim asked you to read his assignment today... That must have been the first time that he asked someone who's not Sloth... I'm the one who made a mistake so... Please... Miss Elric...Don't punish my children..."

Silence.

But then: "I won't..."

King gives her an astonished look.

"I'll stay. But as your housekeeper, not as a nanny. Look, Mr. Bradley, your sons and daughters are not the only half-orphans here, meaning that they're not the only children who have a monopoly on parenthood!"

King does not answer. Instead, he asks: "Would you please give me your son's number?"

Trisha is visibly confused...

OOO

"What do you mean by ' _your father just invited me for dinner_ '?", asks Ling Greed, while heading home in the evening.

The radio is playing Lana Del Rey's song _Million Dollar Man_ but Edward, who is sitting in the passenger seat, does not start singing. After all, he is not a very passionate singer. Moreover, he is too busy focusing on his conversation with Greed: "He said he wanted to talk to me."

"Then why doesn't he talk to you at school?"

"Ask him, he's your father!"

"Well... Not really."

"Whatcha mean?", asks Ed, before quickly adding: "It's okay, you don't have to answer me, if you don't want to!"

But instead of making a big deal out of it, Greed just shrugs before relaxedly explaining: "Bradley is just our adoptive father. His only biological child is Sloth, whereas the others and I have different dads. Donors."

"So... You've never even met your real father...?"

"I don't care about that anonymous person. In fact, I don't need any parent to begin with. I can't stand them anyway, especially when they're being bossy and stuffy. But you know what?"

"What?"

"The worst ones are those, who pretend to be a parent while actually being your sister. And in case you're wondering, I'm not talking about Lust."

"Wait, so Envy's not the only sibling that you hate?"

" _Please_. There's not one single person in that house that I _don't_ hate."

"Wow... I've always thought that your family was like one of those mafia clans..."

"Well. Every clan has a backstabber", retorts Ling Greed nonchalantly.

Edward chuckles.

"But enough about me. Let's talk about you now. Because there's one thing you need to explain to me here. Who, in the bloody world, would ever leave a city like San Francisco behind? I mean, it's not like you moved to London. No, instead you ended up in this motherfucking town."

"Yeah, well. For some reason, my father has always dreamed of a life in Amestris. So when he died, my mother decided to live his dream. But either way, leaving San Francisco behind was easier than I thought it would be."

"Why is that? No friends?"

"More like easygoing acquaintanceships. My Sensei and her husbund are the only people in San Fracisco who are important to me."

"A female fighter?"

"Yeah."

"I'd never fight women. And speaking of which..."

"No girlfriend, either."

"How come? You're hot as hell, mate."

"Thank you... I guess..."

"Don't get a false impression though. I'm totally not gay."

"Neither am I."

"But unlike my tory family, I'm totally cool with homosexuality."

"So am I."

"Yeah but come on – are you seriously straight...?"

"Why are you asking me this?", asks Edward in a slightly insecure tone that is totally out of character.

"Because I've been watching you carefully today. And you weren't even eyefucking the hotter girls."

"Yeah... It's just that... I already like someone..."

"And do I know this lucky girl?"

"Stop mocking me!", grunts Edward.

"I'm not mocking you at all. The moment you told me about the Fuery-incident, you sort of became my hero."

"Really, huh? Because that swastika, you've carved into your dashboard, proves otherwise!"

"That wasn't me, okay? My stupid friend did that."

"Who is your stupid friend...?", asks Edward with a curious look, while Greed is turning into their living street...

OOO

"Solf J. Kimblee?", asks Winry with a flabbergasted mien.

At the moment, she and her two flatmates are having dinner in their kitchen.

"Exactly. Rumour has it that he's going to be released by the end of this week."

"Who told you this, Havoc?", asks Roy.

"His doctor, when I bumped into her at school", answers Jean.

"But isn't he... Dangerous?", asks Winry with a worried look.

"No, he isn't. Because otherwise, they wouldn't release him", argues Roy.

"And what if he's just _pretending_ to be normal? Oh my God! Right now, he's probably sitting in the nut house and planning his first attack on all the Jews and migrants in Amestris! And I bet, he's already looking forward to blowing up our school building!", hisses Winry.

"Okay, calm down, Winnie. Right now, Solf J. Kimblee doesn't even have a roof over his head", interposes her brother.

"Really, uh? Then why are you being so nervous, brother?", retorts Winry.

" _Because he's Solaris' ex-boyfriend!"_ , answers Jean inwardly.

But since he cannot tell his sister about that, he unwillingly comes up with another story: "I'm not being nervous at all. On the contrary! If you ask me, people should try to forget about his past and give him the opportunity to reintegrate into society!"

"Okay, brother. Now you're totally sounding like one of these stupid social worker-brochures."

Jean just rolls his eyes before addressing himself to his friend: "Why are you being so quiet, all of a sudden?"

"Because there's nothing I could possibly add to your touching speech", retorts Roy sarcastically.

"Shut up, Roy", commands Jean dryly which causes Roy to smirk playfully.

Winry, on the other hand, is not even listening to them any more since she is still too busy digesting the news. All in all, she is having an uneasy feeling...


	4. Freak

**IMPORTANT INFORMATION AHEAD:**

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own anything, not the brand names, not the song titles and especially not the series/manga.

 **Character:** Lan Fan will not make an appearance. She probably would have been if Ling Greed was only Ling without the Greed-part. Also, Paninya will not be an important character. In this fanfiction, she is a member of Greed's _Devil's Nest_ -gang (along with Martel, Roa and Dolcetto who will not be that relevant, either).

 **School:** As far as I know, there is no such thing as grade retention for British students in real life. But hey, this is a fanfiction after all.

 **\- Chapter 4: Freak -**

"Hey Greed, why don't you get out of the car?", asks Edward. "I have other plans for tonight", announces Ling Greed. "Okay...", answers Edward and is just about to open the door, when Ling Greed rises to speak again: "Just do yourself a favour and..." "Yeah...?", asks Edward curiously. Ling Greed does not answer at first.

But all of a sudden, he starts brushing Edward's thigh, from his knee upwards, while whispering the following words into his ear: "Just keep your chin up when you meet our common enemy." Even after Ling Greed has abruptly removed his hand, Ed remains speechless and motionless for the following seconds.

But when Edward finally comes round, he immediately stumbles out of Ling Greed's car. At that very moment, he is inwardly scolding the Lord – despite not even believing in his existence – for having to deal with these teenage hormones, while simultaneously thanking himself for having decided to wear loose trousers at work...

OOO

And his day is getting even more absurd: "Do we have a _rendezvous_ , handsome boy?" Edward does not answer at first since he is being too busy eyeing the attractive seventeen-year-old who has just opened the door of house number 66. "You must be Lust", he concludes after a while. "In the flesh. But I'd rather like to know who you are", retorts Lust in a seductive voice.

"Y-your father invited me. I-I'm Edward Elric. Nice to breed, I mean _meet_ you!", he stammers. "The pleasure is all mine", answers Solaris Lust with a naughty smirk and extends her hand. Edward hesitates before finally shaking her hand. "Come!" "Excuse me...?" "Come in!" "Sure...! Thanks...!" Lust, who is still smirking, elegantly steps aside so that Edward can enter her house.

While heading for the living room, he asks: "Did he tell you why I should come?" "I don't have the slightest clue. We didn't even know that we'd have guests today." "Guests? I thought, I'd be the only one?" "Not really", answers Lust and points at the largest couch where Alphonse is sitting. "Hello, brother!" "Al? What are you doing here?" "Mom asked me to come over. I've just arrived."

"There you are! Would you mind giving me a hand?", asks Trisha with a smile on her face, after she has entered the room while carrying a bowl with salad. "Counter question – would you mind telling us what's going on?", retorts Edward. "Oh... I thought Mr. Bradley had told you everything?" "Nope. He just asked us to come by. Even his own children don't have a clue", answers her older son. "I'm going to inform the others", announces Lust and leaves after she has darted a flirty look at the boys. Ed and Al are both amazed for a second...

OOO

A few minutes later, Ed and Al are giving their mother a hand in the kitchen, while Lust is knocking on doors. All the Bradleys, except for Greed and Sloth, are home at the moment. "Since when do we invite people for dinner?", asks Pride while he an the others are going downstairs together. Lust has not told them yet who those guests are. "I have to right a wrong", explains King to them.

"What the...?", asks Ivan Envy with a puzzled look, when he suddenly spot Edward Elric of all people. "You must be joking", he adds in a sarcastic tone while darting a disdainful look at the older Elric-boy. "Brother, please!", whispers Alphonse into Edward's ear, after having heard the clunk of his older brother's left fist.

Wrath, on the other hand, is being in good spirits: "I'm glad you came!" "I wish, I could say the same", murmurs Envy quietly. "Good evening, Headmaster Bradley!", answers Al politely before extending his hand. Unsurprisingly, King has already become a fan of him. "You can call me Mr Bradley or just King Wrath. We're not at school", he answers with a fatherly smile on his face.

When he then extends his hand to the other Elric-boy, nothing is happening at first. But Trisha's friendly-reproachful look is all it takes to do what he is non-verbally being asked to do at that precise moment. King Wrath is still smiling in an uncharacteristically jovial manner. Ed, on the other hand, is doing his utmost to keep up with him...

OOO

" _If there's a God out there, he must hate me"_ , complains Edward inwardly, after Wrath has asked him to take a seat across from Envy and right next to Lust, where Greed would usually sit. Trisha is taking a seat next to Lust, where Quinn used to sit, and Alphonse next to Selim, where Sloth would usually sit. King, on the other hand, is sitting at the top of the table, right next to Trisha.

"Before we're going to eat that incredible dinner, I'd like to say something!", announces Mr Bradley. Ed, who has already started to eat, is now quickly swallowing his bite before anybody can find out about his little faux pas. "Edward Elric. Today was your first day at our school. But instead of welcoming you adequately, I treated you like an outlaw..."

Envy, who does not like at all where this is going, is nervously biting his underlip at that moment. "I've talked with Mr Fuery again and he told me exactly what had happened today. I've also talked with Mr Falman who would also like to apologise to you. But I hope that you're going to accept my apologies either." Silence. But then: "Sure." Ed's monosyllabic makes the others, except for Envy, laugh. After King has sat down, they finally begin to eat...

OOO

"Are you friends with Elicia Hughes?", asks Alphonse during dinner. Selim blows a raspberry. "Definitely not. She's constantly trying to compete with me. But to no avail. Besides, I can't stand her Irish accent." Although Alphonse likes Elicia, he cannot hold back a chuckle. Just like Trisha, he is thoroughly familiar with that kind of attitude.

"And Envy, you're the leader of our school's lacrosse team, right?", asks Alphonse interestedly. "Right. But I'm afraid they don't accept Americans in the team", he retorts sharply. "Oh... I see...", murmurs Alphonse with a puzzled look. "Just ignore him. He's always like that", whispers Selim while rolling his eyes. Alphonse just nods silently.

Meanwhile, Solaris is addressing herself to his brother: "So? What do you think about your new schoolmates so far?" "They're cool", answers Edward. "At least for the most part", he adds while darting a disdainful look at Ivan Envy. "And what do you think about the girls in particular?", asks Lust next. "Sorry...?"

"Come on, you heard me the first time, pretty boy", whispers Lust with a naughty smirk on her face. Edward gulps. "Well... They're cool too, I guess...", he answers nervously. "You don't say", chuckles Lust while slowly brushing his thigh the same way, Greed has done it before, and also with the same _outcome_. _"What have I ever done to deserve this?"_ , whimpers Ed inwardly.

It is only when Solaris Lust's mobile phone starts ringing all of a sudden, that Edward can finally sigh with relief. "Solaris, please. We're at the table", interposes her father, his mien reproachful. "I'll be right back! Promise!", announces Solaris Lust before quickly tottering away. Edward does not even dare to look after her.

Meanwhile, Al is making another attempt: "Hey, Ivan, could you please give me the salt?" "Sorry, I _caen't_ ", answers Envy while imitating an overblown American accent. This time, however, Edward has coincidentally overheard their talk, which is why he impulsively decides to kick the bully in the shin. Envy almost screams out, but he manages to suppress it just in time by compressing his lips.

Ed's triumphant smirk disappears abruptly when Envy kicks his shin this time. "DAMNIT!", he screams out. "Is everything all right?", asks Wrath with a confused mien. "Yeah! I just... Uh... Caught a really hot pepper!", stammers Edward, while trying hard to ignore Envy's mischievous smirk. Now it is official: So far, this is one of Ed's worst evenings in Amestris...

OOO

Solaris is the only one that hugs Edward after the dinner. "Call me, whenever you want _me_ ", she whispers while discreetly putting a piece of paper with her number written on it into his pocket. "Sure...", answers Edward sheepishly. While Alphonse and Selim are swapping book tips, King Wrath is addressing himself to Trisha: "What I forgot to say earlier..."

"Yes, Sir...?" "I'm afraid, Edward is not the only one, I've treated the wrong way. I owe you an apology too." Trisha answers with a warm-hearted smile. "I'll see you tomorrow, Sir." "Please, I've already told before. You can call me King, Miss." "And I've already told you before that you can call me Trisha." King smiles. Trisha smiles. And then that it is...

OOO

In order to prevent himself from meeting the Poker round again – since Olivier Mira Armstrong is surely not going to clear his debts a second time – Ling Greed locks himself in his bedroom, a few days later. He started gambling when he returned to Amestris after his unsuccessful escape. He was planning on saving money for his next escape attempt.

But as time went by, the plan became more and more irrelevant until it has reached the point when gambling stopped serving a purpose and started to become a sheer time killer instead. Ling Greed Bradley knows full well that he has done something stupid but he knows either that he would probably do it again.

One thing, Ling Greed is not aware of, is his subliminal longing for company. He still has not figured it out yet, but the truth behind all truths is that – in order to get rid of his bad habits – he just has to find a true friend who can actually prevent him from doing foolish things like gambling or stealing. Dolcetto, Roa, Martel and Paninya are more like mates than really close friends.

However, they are much closer than Ling Greed and his schoolmates are: The boys at his school have been avoiding him since day one. Mainly because they are jealous. And that jealousy results from his popularity amongst the girls. Greed's female schoolmates admire him as though they were his groupies. And that is it. Mates, haters, admirers but no friends, except for one person.

Ling Greed's stream of thought is getting cut off immediately, when he suddenly hears the ringing of his mobile phone. "Hallo?", he asks in a tone that is perfectly echoing his current sluggishness. Deafening silence. But then: _"Your house is going to blow up in thirty seconds."_ "Who the fuck are you?", asks Greed in a quite similar tone. _"If I were you, I'd start running."_

Ling Greed rolls his eyes. But after last week's happenings he would not be surprised at all if that threat was actually real. Because of this, he does what he has been advised to do and thus exits his unpeopled house. After having walked through the front door, he finally encounters the caller. And at that very moment, Ling Greed cannot believe his eyes...

OOO

"Thank you!", moans Lust, whose pulse is still racing, and plonks herself down on the couch in her secret lover's office. Her blue school uniform is a mess and so is her hair. "No, thank you", pants Havoc while running his fingers through his hair. "So..." "Huh?", asks Lust, who is now putting some lipstick on, half-heartedly. "When are they going to release him, again?"

"The doctor, I've coincidentally met here a few days ago, told me that it would happen today. Other than that, I'm clueless. Why are you asking?" "Good question. Because actually you're supposed to be the curious one. I mean, isn't he your boyfriend or something...?" "Oh! Are we jealous?", asks Solaris with a mischievous smirk on her face. "No. We aren't. Curious, maybe. But not jealous."

"Good. Because there's nothing to worry about. I mean, we never really ended our relationship, but I'm done with him anyway, so." "Since when?" "Since I found out that he's a total freak! That guy literally blew up his own bloody stepfather!" "Seriously? I thought he had no idea that his stepfather was being in that house?" "Please! I mean, he even drew a swastika on the wall and he was using brigadier-general Basque Grant's blood for it!" "A Frenchman?" "Yes, a _black_ Frenchman."

Jean Havoc is clearly confused: "But how is that even possible? I mean, he was your lover and your brother's friend, wasn't he? And isn't his last name Kimblee?" "That was his stepfather's name. He himself is German. Which explains a lot." "Come on, not all Germans are Nazis." "Well, he is. Which means that you don't have to see him as a threat." "I never have, okay?" "But there's another boy, you better should keep an eye on." "Don't be ridiculous, Solaris." "It's Edward Elric."

Jean cannot believe his ears: "Are you crazy? That boy is sixteen!" "Who cares? You're twenty-six." "Touché..." Silence. But then: "What about you, Jean...?" "What about me?" "Well... I've met your new neighbour. The one from 3a." "Her name's Riza Hawkeye. But guess what – I'm not that into blondes", reveals Jean with a naughty smirk and leans over to kiss her neck.

"What about that Catalina-slut? She's twenty-six too, isn't she?" Jean stops abruptly. "I knew it", hisses Solaris Lust with a disdainful look. "What? We're just friends, nothing more than that!", clarifies Jean. "Besides, that's rich coming from you! Whenever I see you at school, you're talking with boys! Or should I rather say ' _flirting_ ', huh?"

Solaris answers with a naughty smirk, before slowly sitting down on his lap. "I'm so sorry, dear. But hey, right now... I'm all yours." "Solaris, please. I have to go home before Winry starts asking questions again!" "I don't care", whispers Lust in a seductive tone and starts kissing his neck which causes him to close his eyes...

OOO

One day later, Ed and Al are finally given the opportunity to relax for the first time in weeks, since another student is currently stealing their thunder: Solf Julius Kimblee. At the moment, he is being chaperoned by Mr Grumman to the headmaster's office. An escort is usually supposed to offer security. But no one knows for whom exactly that security is being offered in their case.

"Hey, guys! Who is that person?", asks Edward who is standing next to his brother and his three friends. "Solf J. Kimblee!", hisses Winry and bares her teeth. "Looks like you're not quite chummy with him", remarks Alphonse sarcastically. "Yeah, and I can't blame her!", interposes his older brother with a disdainful mien.

Greed has already explained to him that Kimblee has never truly been a right-wing extremist but Ed did not even bother to listen his words. "Come on, let's go!", decides Winry and then just grasps Kain's and May's wrists so she can force them to go with her. Together they are now heading for the stairs. Meanwhile, Lust is looking daggers at her ex. And Solf does not hesitate to look back at her...

OOO

"Headmaster Bradley asked me to talk with you", announces Mr Hughes. The Albanian music teacher Scodran Khan, the American-Kirghizian maths and IT teacher Roy Mustang, the Spanish French teacher Rebecca Catalina, the Polish literacy teacher Ms Sheska, the Kazakhstani-British history teacher Vato Falman, the Canadian arts and design teacher Alex Armstrong and the other Canadian PE teacher Olivier Armstrong are visibly confused.

"Talk with us about _what_?", asks Roy. "About Mr Kimblee's comeback", answers Maes. "That's ridiculous. Nobody here is afraid of that boy", clarifies Scar. "Well, I can remember that our former geography teacher Miles Lowe did have some issues with him. Despite being half British and only half Albanian. Besides, since this morning, the students have been knocking on my door non-stop."

"If you don't mind me asking – what are _these two_ doing here then?", asks Scar dryly. "They're Canadian", answers Maes dryly before striking a more serious note again: "Now... Mr Bradley is handing over the responsibility. Therefore, you will have to decide on that matter." "What about the other teachers?", asks Rebecca.

"What about them? They totally agree with our boss", answers Maes with a brotherly smile. "Well. If so, I decide to give him a chance", announces Roy indifferently. "So do I", decides Rebecca while eyeing her fingernails. "And I", interpose Vato and Ms Sheska synchronously. Alex is also willing to give Solf a chance, which he expresses by giving a sentimental speech about forgiveness.

"Scar...?", asks Maes gently. "Of course, he deserves a second chance. He was a young boy who made mistakes. Case closed." The others nod slowly. Olivier, on the other hand, does not move. "Truth be told, _General_ Olivier – Mr Bradley has actually never asked me to invite you and your brother to this meeting too", announces Maes jokingly. "You don't say", retorts Olivier dryly.

"But since you're here anyway, you should also feel free to participate in this discussion!", continues Maes. "Well then. I say, Kimblee shouldn't be allowed to come back", announces Olivier coldly. "Are you serious, my beloved sister?", asks Alex in a reproachful tone. Instead of giving him an answer, his sister just gets up, asking: "Are we done now? My class is already waiting." Maes nods slowly before answering: "Of course. You're dismissed, friends."

OOO

Meanwhile, Lust's back is being pushed harshly against the toilet door of the gents' school toilet. Not by Jean Havoc. By Solf J. Kimblee, who is kissing her lustfully now. She has sworn to herself to stay away from him, the moment she heard about his release. And she definitely meant it when she said it. But the moment she saw him exiting her father's office, she gave in to the temptation...

OOO

Afterwards, they are taking a walk through the Creta Road. "Where will you be staying?" "I found a nice bridge." "Are you kidding me?" "Of course not. I blew up my house, remember?" "What about relatives?" "I blew up my _family_ , remember?", repeats Kimblee sarcastically. "You're such an idiot." "That's what they say." "But you can't just sleep under a bridge! This is England, not California!"

"I have no choice. Unless, you'll let me sleep under your bed." "The worst thing is – I know full well that you're not even joking." "Well you know me. But don't worry, I'll come up with something. I always do." "That's what's worrying me in the first place." "Shut up", he chuckles while putting his arm around her. Lust's body freezes for a second. But she is carrying it off well...

OOO

In the afternoon, the Elric-brothers are doing their homework in the kitchen when Alphonse asks: "Don't you have to go to work today, brother?" "Fortunately no." " _Fortunately_? I thought, you like your job?" "I do...!" "Then why...?" Edward does not know how to explain to his innocent brother that he will have to avoid his workmate Ling Greed for the next days. Or centuries.

Suddenly the doorbell is ringing. "Al, the door", mutters Edward who is too lazy to get up although he is sitting closer to the door. "Sorry, too busy", chuckles Alphonse. That must have been the second time that he contradicted his elder brother since their moving in. Despite his current laziness, Edward is bringing himself to get up and head for the door.

But when he finds out that Ling Greed is his spontaneous visitor, he is regretting it immediately. "F... Fellow! Hey!", stutters Ed. "Hey there. I came to pick you up." For a second, Edward is thinking that he heard the word _lick_ instead of _pick_. "Hey, are you okay?", asks Greed with a raised eyebrow when he notices the shorter boy's slightly shaking body.

"Yap...!", fibs Edward. "Okay... If so, hurry up! Mr Fu is already waiting." "Yeah... But not for me... My shift's tomorrow, you know?" "Too bad. Until now, we've only had one shift together but it's a lot more fun, when you're there too." "Yeah... Too bad..." "Okay, then. I'm off. Cheerio." "Yeah... Bye...!", mumbles Edward.

After having shut the door, he is almost jumping out of his skin, when he suddenly hears Alphonse ask curiously behind him: "What on earth was that?" "I... Don't know, whatcha talking about!", fibs Edward while strictly avoiding his younger brother's look. "Are you mad at him or something, brother?", asks Alphonse cautiously.

"He's this Kimblee-guy's best friend!", answers Edward instead of telling him the truth. "So what? Catherine is Envy's best friend." "That's not the same thing!" "It isn't, huh?" "Of course not, Al! Envy may be a god-damn palm tree, but – unlike Kimblee – he's definitely not a Nazi!" "Solf _used to be_ a Nazi but they institutionalized him."

"Right... But if you ask me, prison would have been the better option! If he were a radical Islamist, he would be in jail now!" "I'm afraid, I don't get it. I mean, Solf is Solf and Greed is Greed!" Ed does not know what to say, at first. But then: "You know what? You're right about that! Next time, I see him, I'll apologize to Greed!" And just like that, Edward leaves the room...

OOO

In the later afternoon, Kimblee is getting kicked out of the _Dragon's Pulse_. But since Mr Chang is a kind person, he actually allows Greed to walk his friend out. "Idiot! Why did you come here? I said, I'd meet you _after_ work, remember?" "Well. To be honest, I thought that you were just kidding." "Shut up, okay? I merely started working here because I have to clear debts!" "What debts?"

"That's a long story. Just wait here. Or go to the library." "I wanted to but unfortunately they kicked me out." "Oh man", mutter Greed. "But whatever. You can wait in the car." "How noble", remarks Solf sarcastically. "Come on, just bugger off already", commands Greed with composure despite being slightly irritated in secrecy. Kimblee obeys. However, he cannot hold back a naughty laugh...

OOO

"Hey, Scar! Is May -?" "Of course she is", interrupts Scar calmly. Winry, on the other hand, is rather upset after having seen Kimblee sitting and reading in Greed's car. There were times when she has been too insecure to visit her neighbour from 2b. However, over time she has learnt to deal with his impersonal behaviour and thus feels free to knock on his door whenever she cannot find May in 1a.

"Come in." "Thanks!" "Winry! Woohoo!", warbles May cheerfully which makes Winry smile. "May I offer you something?", asks Scar. "That's nice but I don't have much time! I'm just here to warn you! And you!" "Warn us about _what_?", asks Scar in his typical unemotional tone and with the matching look. "Kimblee is sitting in a car, that is parking right in front of our residential building!"

May answers with a puzzled look. Scar, on the other hand, just shrugs. "So what? He's probably just waiting for his best friend who's working at the _Dragon's Pulse_." "Oooor he's building a bomb to blow up our residential building in the middle of the night!", squeals May. "Relax, May. They released him for a reason." "No, they _institutionalised_ him for a reason!", retorts Winry.

"Which is why I'm going to scare him away! Because I can't stand it any longer!", she adds and is just about to leave, when Scar gently seizes her by the collar. "I'll go", he announces unemotionally. Winry instantly sighs with relief which causes Scodran to raise an eyebrow. "What? I'm Australian! Which means that I'm a potential victim too!" Scar's only answer is a dry look...

OOO

Meanwhile Solf is reading his favourite book _Clockwork Orange_ , when somebody suddenly knocks on the car's window. "Mr Scodran Khan?", he asks with an amused mien after he has looked up from his book. "Wow. It's a small world", he adds, still smirking amusedly. "You don't say... So... How is it going...?", asks Scar, who is definitely not good at small talk.

Kimblee's smirk widens. "I don't quite think that's the question, you wanted to ask me in the first place." "I don't know what you're talking about." "If so, does the name Miles Lowe ring a bell, perhaps?" "Seriously, Kimblee? You're already homeless and yet you're trying to make enemies? And just so you know, I'm not referring to myself."

"Then who are you referring to, huh?", asks Kimblee indifferently, despite being curious in secrecy. "One of the girls from my residential building asked me to scare you away", answers Scar with composure. "Oh, please. How are you supposed to scare me away, when you're being scared of me too, huh?", asks Kimblee, provokingly. But contrary to his expectations, Scar keeps calm.

"Listen, Kimblee. No one's scared of you. The people hate you. And after having experienced something similar in the past, I can only feel sorry for you. Therefore, I'm going to give you two options!" "Oh, how generous." "Shut up and listen to me!", commands Scar calmly, yet masterfully. Kimblee intuitively obeys. "Either you bugger off -" "Or...?" "Or you stay with me."

"I beg your pardon?", asks Kimblee dryly. "The girls will feel safer that way." Solf does not answer at first. But then: " _Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer_ , huh?" "You know what, Kimblee? Right now, your biggest enemy is you", retorts Scar before entering his residential building again and thus, leaving a speechless eighteen-year-old behind...

OOO

Just like almost every other evening, Edward is walking through his living street while listening to his favourite band System of a Down and his favourite singer Lana Del Rey on his Ipod. Just when the song _Freak_ starts playing, he suddenly spots Ling Greed's car in the distance, which causes him to quickly turn around.

But Ling Greed has already cranked down his car window in order to greet him: "Hey, mate!" Edward halts abruptly, closes his eyes and starts praying inwardly: _"You know that I've never believed in your existence, God...! But please...! Just help me out, damnit...!"_ He takes a deep breath, puts on a fake smile and turns around, hollering: "Hey, Ling Greed! What's up, buddy?"

Ling Greed opens the passenger door. "Get in." "Actually, I... Well...", stutters Ed. "Come on, _San Francisco_. I won't bite you, you have my word." Edward hesitates for a moment before finally capitulating. "So...?" "Huh...?" "Will you tell me why you're avoiding me lately?" "What?", squeals Edward before quickly adding: "I'm not avoi- avoi-"

" _Avoi- avoi_ , calm down, okay? I'm Ling Greed, for fuck's sake. Not one of my other family members. In order words – there's no bloody reason to be scared of me. _Nobody_ is. And I'd rather keep it that way." "I'm not being sc-scared!" "Shut up, Ed. I recognise a coward when I see one." "Hey, what did you just call me, you horny bastard?", asks Ed furiously.

"Here you are! You're still narked because I touched you, aren't you?" " _Narked_...?" "Pissed." "I'm not pissed, okay?" "But?", asks Ling Greed relaxedly. "I don't know... More like _surprised_ maybe?" "Come on. There's no way I'm the first boy that's ever touched you that way." "At least the first breeder." " _Breeder_? You mean straight man?" "Yeah."

"So you're still thinking that I'm a _breeder_?" "Aren't you?" "I am." "Then why did you... You know... Touch me that way...?" "Because I wanted to test you." "Test me...?" "I wanted to make sure that you're not a homophobe before I introduce you to my mates from the _Devil's Nest_. One of them, his name's Dolcetto, is gay."

Edward is still confused: "But I already told you that I'm not a homophobe! Why didn't you just believe me?" "Because people lie." "Still! Me and a homophobe? That's just impossible!" " _Nothing_ is impossible." "Anyways. You have your answer now. Which means that you can feel free to introduce me to your delinquent buddies." "Not really, actually." "What? Why is that?"

"They think you're a freak." "A _freak_? Are they nuts?" "When I told them that you failed the test, they thought that you actually were a homophobe. But when I mentioned your nationality... Well..." "What, Greed? _What_?", asks Edward and bares his teeth. "They think that you reacted that way because you're a prudish virgin. An American, in other words."

"Screw you, Dolpetto!" "Dolcetto." "I don't care okay?", clarifies the shorter boy furiously. "Besides! You're talking with me about tolerance but apparently I'm not the one that's being intolerant!", he continues. "I totally agree." "And...! You do...?" "Yeah. These aren't my true friends anyway. Solf J. Kimblee is."

"Oh, you mean the guy who blew up his black stepfather?", asks Edward sarcastically. "Like I said, he's not a right-wing extremist." "Yeah but to be honest, I wasn't listening because I've been kinda distracted by that damn swastika!", hisses Edward, again sarcastically. Greed rolls his eyes. "Oh man. Listen to me this time, then." Edward does not object...

OOO

In the meantime, Solf is walking through the streets while thinking about his life. Ever since he can remember, he has been in love with chemistry. And ever since he can remember, his mother has dragged all these abusive men along. A Korean named Kimblee, two Jews named Gardner and Edison, an Iranian-British named Raven and finally that Frenchman named Basque Grand. Nonetheless: Solf Julius Kimblee is not and has never been a Nazi. He is rather a genius.

After Grand had almost broken his ribs once, Solf started to analyse his situation. And one day, he came up with the perfect plan. For the following months, he has been pretending to be a right-wing extremist so that nobody would ever make out his main motivation: Blowing up _anyone_. Because after all, that making use of his only talent is what he really wants. And he did make use of it.

Around the time when the court had to decide whether Solf should to go to prison or not, he suddenly changed the strategy and started to fake a mental disorder. He told the judge about his conversations with Adolf Hitler and how said man had advised him to take revenge on his stepfather. As a consequence, he ended up in a psychiatry instead of a prison cell.

And suddenly, he is free again. Free but – since he did not show up after Ling Greed's shift – also homeless. He merely owns one bag, two school uniforms, four suits, some casual clothing, three books and one toothbrush. No money, no umbrella, not even one single picture of his dead mother and especially no dignity...

When it starts raining, he suddenly realises something weird: After a long walk through the entire city, he has somehow ended up in the Xing Street again. And not just anywhere in the longest street of Amestris: Right now, he is standing in front of that one particular residential building that is home to the only person who is willing to put him out of his misery...


	5. Blue Jeans

**IMPORTANT INFORMATION AHEAD:**

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own anything, not the brand names, not the song titles and especially not Fullmetal Alchemist.

 **Character:** When I watch FMA Brotherhood, I never get the impression that Kimblee killed all these Ishvalans because of their ethnicity. I rather have the impression that he just likes to blow up everything. And the same goes for my fanfiction-version of Solf J. Kimblee. So no racist, but perhaps a little psychopathic in some way. Ling Greed is heterosexual. And so are 99 % of the other characters in my fanfic.

 **Message:** This story is  also about tolerance. Tolerance towards all types of sexualities, nationalities, cultures, religions and also towards female power of course.

 **\- Chapter 5: Blue Jeans -**

"You can drop me off right here." "Are you sure?", asks Greed, who is parking in front of his own house. Ed nods. "Yeah. Thanks for the ride." "You're welcome. So, are we cool again?" "Yeah...! Absolutely!", answers Ed, extends his fist for a fist bump and – after Greed has reacted to it accordingly – gets out of the car. What both of them do not notice is that Envy is just standing at his bedroom window and discreetly watching them from there. His mien disgusted...

OOO

"If you want to stay here for a while, you'll definitely have to stick to some rules!", announces Scar the next morning. Kimblee rolls his eyes. "Hey, I can only repeat myself – I promise that I'll never insult Tupac Shakur again in your presence. And we also know that I would never insult a genius like MJ anyway, so done and done."

"I'm not talking about stuff like that, okay? I'm rather talking about rules that have to do with alcohol consumption, -" "I don't drink alcohol." "Smoking, -" "I don't smoke." "Drugs, -" "I don't take drugs." "Pork." "I'm vegetarian." "loud music, -" "I have an Ipod." "Cooking." "The psychiatry taught me how to cook and how to make ashtrays out of clay."

"Working morale, -" "I only have high marks. And I'm already looking for a job." "Tidiness, -" "I'm a cleaning maniac." "Female guests, -" "I prefer to meet girls outside." "Parties, -" "I prefer restful evenings." "Discrimination as well as intolerance -" "I merely pretended to be a Hitlerite." "And bombs." Awkward silence.

"Are you serious?", asks Solf J. Kimblee. Scodran Khan does not answer. "Oh come on, Scar!", pouts Kimblee. But Scar remains silent which causes Kimblee to capitulate: "Fine." "Good." Awkward silence. "Eat your toast", commands Scar after a while. Kimblee hesitates at first. However, a few seconds later, he finally starts eating his toast...

OOO

Around noon, Olivier is leaving her house to go jogging. But when she suddenly spots Greed's car in her driveway, she abruptly halts, pulls her earplugs out and asks: "What are you doing here?" "I came to deliver you my first pay cheque." "Well. I was just about to go jogging. Why don't you come with me? You can drive, of course." Just a welcome challenge for her. "Sure, why not?"

OOO

A few minutes later, Ling Greed is going at walking pace while Olivier Mira Armstrong is jogging at his side. "So. I think that you probably should keep the money." "Are you serious?" "I'm always serious." "But what I owe you that money, remember?" "Oh come on. We both know that I'm not in need." "Okay... But what if I use this money to play Poker again?"

"That's not my business, any more. You're a free man. Which means that you can do whatever you want. But you should always keep in mind that I'm the only rich person you know. Catherine doesn't have access to our money yet and Alex is squandering his own for that stupid _Sex and the City_ -wedding." "I understand. You're trying to test my will power, huh?"

Oliver Mira Armstrong does not answer at first because all of a sudden, she begins to realise what that the only thing, this boy is aiming at, is attention. He just wants someone to take care of him. Therefore, she decides to tell him what he wants to hear: "Maybe." Ling Greed does not answer verbally. Instead he smirks naughtily. "Where are you going anyway?", he then asks interestedly.

"Nowhere and everywhere. Usually, I circuit Amestris." "You mean... The entire City...?" "That's the plan." Ling Greed raises an eyebrow. "Are you training for the Olympics or maybe for a casting of a possible _Baywatch_ -revival?" "No. Just my usual Saturday-workout." "Oh man. Whatever. If you'd intended to visit your best friend Scar, I would have given you a ride, that's why I'm asking."

"I see. So today's one of your work days then?" "Nope. I'm just going to visit a friend that happens to live in the same residential building. Or even in the same flat." "Who do you mean?", asks Olivier with a confused look. "Oh. Hasn't Scar told you yet?" "Told me _what_?" "He found a new flatmate. My formerly homeless friend Solf Julius Kimblee."

Olivier halts abruptly. "Something wrong?", asks Ling Greed, his look quizzical, but his grin still roguish. "You know what? My Saturday-workout can wait", decides Olivier spontaneously and opens his passenger door. "Get in, get in. You're not sweaty anyway." "And you're not funny. So drive already." "Aye-aye, Sir!"

OOO

In the meantime, Winry Rockbell is opening the door after Fu Chang rang the doorbell of flat 3b. "Mr Chang! I'm glad you came! The others are already waiting inside!" "I came as fast as I could! Is May all right?" "Oh don't worry, she's fine!", answers the blonde Australian and steps aside so that her guest can come in.

After having entered the living room, Mr Chang is surprised to see his granddaughter, Jean Havoc, Roy Mustang, Riza Hawkeye and her stepbrother Kain Fuery. The neighbours from 1b and 2a have not been invited since they are going to move out soon. The neighbours from 2b, on the other hand, are missing for some other reason.

"A neighbourhood-assembly?", asks Fu who is obviously confused. "Exactly, grandpa! That was Winry's idea!", announces May proudly. "Why? What happened?", asks her grandfather. "Well, Mr Chang. Apparently, your granddaughter and our nestling Winry are worried because of our newest neighbour", explains Roy without even trying to sound _not_ sarcastic.

"Actually, they are not the only ones!", interposes Riza who is getting everybody's attention at that moment. "After all, I have a Jewish stepbrother!", she adds with a serious mien. May's grandfather is visibly puzzled: "Wait! Are you actually saying that this terrorist Kimblee is going to stay with our neighbours from 1b or 2a from now on?"

"No. He's Scodran Khan's new flatmate", answers Jean. "I don't understand... Why would he of all people give shelter to a right-wing extremist?", asks Mr Chang. "Because Scar is a kind-hearted person! Just like my parents were!", answers Winry. Fu nods before retorting: "I see... And would your parents also have refused to give him a second chance?" That hit home.

But Winry is not willing to give in yet: "They probably wouldn't... But this isn't about me, Mr Chang, this is about you, May, Kain, Roy and Scar! I mean, what if Kimblee is just pretending to be a decent person?" "I take your point, my dear child, but that won't change anything! Scar is a grown-up man! We can't just force him to get rid of his flatmate!", argues Fu.

"Hey, grandpa! Yesterday, you kicked him out of your restaurant! What changed?" "His friend Ling Bradley talked with me. He didn't give me any details but he promised that his friend wouldn't pose a threat to anybody. And despite Ling's blurry aura, I decided to believe him. And so should you." Deafening silence...

OOO

Only after Ling Greed and Solf J. Kimblee have left the room, does Olivier address herself to Scar: "You can't be serious." "See? That's why I haven't told you about it! I knew how you'd react to that!" "If so, you apparently know me better than I know you. Because I never would have taken you for the kind of person who shares a flat with a terrorist."

"Why not? I'm Muslim. There are many Muslim terrorists out there", retorts Scar sarcastically. "So not funny, Scar." "Oh, come on! He was homeless! And except for that one mistake in the past, he acts normal!" "Exactly. He _acts_." "What am I supposed to do? I can't just kick him out!" Olivier does not answer at first.

But then she suddenly changes the subject: "What about your financial situation?" "What about that?" "How are you going to pay for this flat?" "I'll find a solution." "No! You won't! What you need is a flatmate with a proper income!" "I had one. But he hanged us out to dry, remember?" Olivier rolls her eyes. "I can't even lead a decent discussion here!"

For the first time that day, Scar is slightly raising his voice: "Then stop it! Stop _leading_!" Olivier answers with an icy cold glance. "Fine", she grunts then and exits the flat. Scodran is so upset at that moment, that he does not notice at all that Kimblee is hiding nearby and thus has overheard the major part of their discussion...

OOO

In the afternoon, Edward is working again. Unlike other Saturdays, the restaurant is quite deserted, which is why Mr Chang allows everyone to go home. Just Ed and the owner Fu himself decide to stay. "Would you mind running the show by yourself for two hours? My mahjong-friends asked me to join them today." Mahjong is Fu's favourite hobby. However, he barely finds the time to play it.

"I will chance it", answers Edward sarcastically. Fu answers with a dry look. "Very funny, young man. But just so you know – Amestris could get peckish and roll in any minute." However, Edward is not the kind of person who would ever back away from such a challenge which is why he assures his boss that he will be fine...

OOO

Since the restaurant is still being empty one hour later, Edward decides to tidy the kitchen until he suddenly hears the little bell above the door that announces customers. Edward quickly looks up, drops the cleaning rag and exits the kitchen. But when he enters the actual dining area of the restaurant, he cannot see anybody at first.

It is only when he turns his back on the door that he suddenly hears a husky voice speaking behind him: "It's a _small_ world, isn't it? But that's not the only _small_ thing in here, I guess." Edward cannot believe his ears. And after having turned around, he cannot believe his eyes either: " _You..._!" Ivan Envy Bradley answers with a devious smirk.

"So. Are you going to serve me or what?", he then asks snobbishly while discreetly eyeing the shorter boy's pair of blue jeans with cut-outs here and there that are uncovering his knees. Edward does not answer at first. But since he needs his job, he tries to pull himself together: "What would you like to order?" "I don't know. Do you have _shrimps_ , perhaps?"

Edward's left hand, that is holding the pen, stiffens immediately. "I usually prefer big _shrimps_ but I'd also be pleased with very, very, very _small_ _shrimps_ ", continues Envy with a mischievous smirk. That is definitely overkill: After having hopped over the counter, Edward furiously jumps at Envy which causes both of them to fall backwards.

"You god-damn _palm tree_! I'm going to beat the living daylights out of ya!", hisses Ed, who is sitting on Envy's lap now, with a clenched fist. But before he can do anything, Envy suddenly rolls them over so that he is sitting on the shorter boy's lap this time. "What did you just call me, _pipsqueak_?" "You heard me the first time, _palm tree_!"

Ivan Envy Bradley, who is baring his teeth, is just about to punish Edward, when he suddenly gets pulled away from his enemy's lap by a third person. "Let go of me!", hisses Envy, but the third person does not obey. "What the hell is going on with you guys?", asks the incomer who turns out to be their teacher Roy Mustang.

Edward instantly jumps up to his feet, snorting: "None of your damn business!" Envy, on the other hand, has not finished speaking yet: "I came to eat shrimps but he just attacked me all of a sudden!" "Is that true, Edward?", asks Roy with a serious mien. "No...! Well... Yes... But you should have seen his face when he said those words! He did that to pick a fight!"

Mr Mustang raises an eyebrow before addressing himself to Envy: "You're free to go." "What? Hey!", objects Edward. "See you within a _short_ time!", chuckles Envy while waving his hand. " _You...!_ ", hisses Ed before trying to attack his enemy anew. However, Roy is seizing him by the collar so that Envy can safely exit the restaurant...

OOO

Kimblee is a multifaceted boy. Especially in terms of music and clothes: Most of the time, he is wearing blue jeans, but there are also occasions that allow him to wear one of his beloved suits. Today, however, there is no such occasion. Because today is the day he is going to sneak out. All he has to do is wait until Scar leaves the flat so that he cannot stop him.

On the stairs, Kimblee almost bumps into Winry Rockbell, who is a little confused when she spots the large bag in his arms. " _Guten Tag._ " "Excuse me...?" "That's German for -" "I understand", she interrupts coldly. "Yeah. _Leb wohl_ , then." "What?" "That's German for _farewell_." This time, she is more than just a little confused: "What do you mean...?"

"You're an intelligent young woman. You should know what I mean", answers Solf with a naughty smirk. "Oh my God...! Scar actually did it...! He kicked you out...!" "Nope. But I did." For a moment, Winry does not know what to say. But what she does know is that she is not ready to assume something good in him: "Are we choosy or something?"

"Yes, that's totally it. I'm choosy. And I merely left my cosy bedroom behind because I'd prefer to sleep in a street corner instead." "You're kidding, right...?" "Nope." "But... You can't just sleep under a bridge!" "Oh... _Are we worried or something_?", asks Solf with a teasing smirk. "No...!" Solf raises an eyebrow. "Okay, maybe a little!"

Two brows this time which causes Winry to roll her eyes. "Whatever! What you're doing is absolutely not cool!" "I thought, me being here wasn't cool?", retorts Solf. Winry hesitates. But then: "Okay, fine you're right. I was indeed trying to scare you away but perhaps that was a..." "Yes?", asks Kimblee, who is trying hard to hold back an amused smirk at that moment.

"Mis-mis-mista... Okay, the point is, that everybody deserves a second chance! At least, that's what my parents taught me!" Kimblee nods silently. "I've heard about them... They were like the Australian version of Brad and Angelina." All of a sudden, Winry cannot hold back a laugh. This makes Kimblee smirk...

OOO

"What happened between you and Envy?" "Hey, _Mustard_! You're my customer, not my damned therapist, okay? Besides! I'm very busy at the moment!", grunts Edward. "I can see that", retorts Roy sarcastically after having looked around with one raised eyebrow. Still no costumers. Ed rolls his eyes, turns around – so that his teacher can only see his back – and starts cleaning the counter.

Only now does he answer: "He's terrorizing me twenty-four-seven." "Physically?" "More like _psychologically_." "Maybe he's jealous. You – the new kid in school – are getting everybody's attention lately. Also, his name's Envy, isn't it?" "No, that can't be it. I mean, our feud had started even before we first met at school..." "Right. Your mother's working for them."

"But we'd attacked each other for the first time before we even knew each other's names..." "How the hell did that happen?" "I don't know. I was just walking through our living street when I accidentally bumped into him. After I'd apologized, he suddenly started to insult me for no reason!" "Wow... That sounds... _Envious_." "You don't say." Silence.

"Anyways", sighs Roy after a while, before getting up from his chair. "I'll see, what I can do." "Whatcha mean?", asks Ed, who has not turned around yet. "Don't tell me you're going to brave your boss and punish his son...!" "That's not what I had in mind." "Then what do you have in mind?", asks Edward with an upset look.

While doing so, he finally turns around to look his teacher in the eye. "See you on Monday", is Roy Mustang's only answer. An answer that is accentuated by a traitorous smirk. After that, he just leaves the restaurant without awaiting any answer. Edward is not quite happy at that moment. Because for some reason, he is getting an uneasy feeling...

OOO

In the evening, Trisha happens to overhear a conversation between all the members of the Bradley family, who are having dinner at the moment. "What do you mean by _you're going out_?", asks Selim reproachfully. "You never leave the house on Saturday evenings, father!", he adds. "My old friend Clemin and his wife invited me which is why I'll have to leave the dessert out. Too bad."

"But father!", objects Selim, however his sister Lust just interrupts him: "Oh, hey Greed! Can you please tell the owner of the _Devil's Nest_ that I'm going to pay him next week?" "Pay for what?", asks Sloth in a reprimanding tone. " _Sorry_ , if I forgot to inform you. I'm going to celebrate my birthday there", explains Lust half-heartedly, without even looking her sister in the eye.

"I'll drive off in thirty minutes. Why don't you just come with me and talk directly with him?", offers Greed. "I have other plans, you know?", mumbles Lust. After having noticed Sloth's sceptical look, she quickly adds: "I'm going to visit a friend!" Selim does not like at all where this is going: "Sloth, Envy? What about you? Will you stay here?"

"Sorry, sweetheart, but Alex and I have made plans for tonight!", answers Juliet Sloth while gently stroking her youngest brother's head. Ivan Envy, on the other hand, does not even bother to answer. Right now, he is checking his mobile phone and thus, not even listening to their conversation. That is more than Selim Pride can cope with.

Therefore, he starts brainstorming until he suddenly comes up with an idea: After Trisha has entered the dining room to serve the dessert, Pride discreetly trips her up so that she as well as the five cups of _mousse au chocolat_ in her hands go flying. And just like that, the white carpet has turned into a _carpet au chocolat_.

"My God, Trisha! Is everything all right?", asks Mr Bradley before quickly standing up to give her a leg-up. "Oh no! Look at the damage, you've done!", pouts Pride theatrically. "I'm so sorry, I'm going to clean that up immediately!", mumbles Trisha after having straightened herself. "Oh, please, the important thing is that you haven't hurt yourself!", answers King in a worried tone.

Only now do the two oldest persons in the room look at each other. This causes Juliet Sloth, Ling Greed, Solaris Lust, Ivan Envy and Selim Pride to look at each other with quizzical miens. Awkward silence. "I'm fine. Thanks", murmurs Trisha then, a sheepish smile on her face. King Wrath does not react to that at first.

But then, he abruptly averts his eyes from her before nervously chattering: "Good. And don't worry about the dessert. We're all sated, aren't we, kids? Excellent. Well, I'll better get ready now! Somebody please help Trisha with the cleaning... Thing!" Less gracefully than usual, King Wrath is exting the room now. His children look after him, again with confused miens.

"Need a hand?", asks Ling Greed then. "Oh no, my dear! I can do it, but thanks!", answers Trisha quickly. Greed shrugs. "Cool. I wouldn't know what to do, anyway", he then retorts before leaving the room along with Lust. "You should use that cleaning agent with the lemon yellow label." Juliet Sloth's advice sounds more like an admonishment than an actual advice.

Instead of awaiting an answer, she just trips out of the room. Therefore, it is Envy's turn to snub her: "One day, a half-arsed guest dropped his wine glass. But Sloth has yet been able to wipe out the stain. Just so you know." That hit home. However, Envy just exits the room instead of giving Trisha the opportunity to answer him.

She and Pride are alone now. But unlike his two siblings, he is not taking a dig at her since he has secretly decided to simulate sympathy instead: "Oh no...! I'm afraid, it'll take hours to clean that up!" "Well... This is what happens when someone trips you up", she retorts without looking up from the cups she is picking up.

Only now does Selim Pride behold the housekeeper's motherly smile. "Oh...", he murmurs after a few seconds of awkward silence. " _Oh_ ", chuckles Trisha softly. The thirteen-year-old is visibly confused: "Why are you acting so weird?" "Am I? I thought, you were the one who tripped me up?" Deafening silence.

But then: "Touché." "You don't say, young boy." "But aren't you mad at me or something?" "I am." "You are...?" "Yes. However, my sympathy for you is prevailing." "Sympathy for what?" In order to focus on their conversation completely, Trisha decides to stop the cleaning-up operation for the moment. "You did that to prevent me from leaving you alone in this house, didn't you?"

When Selim Pride realises that he has just been unmasked, he cannot help but gulp. "That's nonsense! I'm a thirteen-year-old!" "You don't need to be ashamed, my dear!", answers Trisha soothingly. "I advise you to watch your mouth!", retorts Pride snobbishly. Trisha sighs. "Okay. If so, I'm going to hurry up now because otherwise I'll miss my favorite TV show." Selim gulps again.

But after having come up with another idea, he quickly stands up in order to exit the dining room, when the housekeeper – a conspiratorial smirk on her face – suddenly rises to speak again: "Are you planning on crashing my television at home now?" Selim startles. "What...? No...!", he fibs without turning around. This causes Trisha to chuckle quietly to herself...

OOO

"So you hooked up with your ex, huh?" Solaris Lust's eyes widen abruptly which is due to Jean Havoc's question. That question, however, does not exactly sound like a real question, which is why she does not dare to look him in the eye while asking: "How did you find out...?" "I didn't. I just guessed", he answers dryly.

Lust instantly turns around. Jean raises an eyebrow after having seen her puzzled look. "You're so predictable that it almost hurts, _Lust_." "Who cares? You are the one who keeps saying that our relationship is physical!" "Which is why you don't need to keep your other affairs a secret from me!" "Okay, first of all, what he and I did was a slip, nothing more than that!"

"You're sure about that? What if he's still considering you his girlfriend? We could get into serious trouble in case he should find out about us!" "Oh, come on! He's not one of these vengeful stalker-exes!" "Oh really? Didn't he blow up his stepfather in revenge for years of abuse?", retorts Jean sarcastically. Or perhaps not that sarcastically.

"What the bloody hell are you expecting me to do?" "Talk to him, Solaris!", answers Jean a little loudly before calmly adding: "Talk to him so you can find out whether he's gotten his head around the end of your relationship yet or not!" After having thought it through, Lust finally gives in: "Fine, I'll talk with him." "Fine." "Fine." Silence...

OOO

In the meantime, Edward is lying on his bed and listening to Lana Del Rey's _Blue Jeans_ , when he suddenly gets a call. "Hello?", he asks in a thoroughly unenthusiastic tone. _"Hey, honey! It's me!"_ "Mom? Where are you?" _"I'm sorry but it looks like I'll have to stay a few hours longer than usual. Otherwise, Selim will be home alone."_ "So what? Isn't he like thirteen?"

It is only when Edward remembers the night of Catherine's party, the same night that he saw Mr Bradley burying something in the garden, that he suddenly decides to strike a more sympathetic tone: "I'll inform Al." _"Thanks for your understanding."_ "Yap. See you, mom." _"Bye, honey."_ After having hung up, Ed just blows out his cheeks.

Suddenly, his phone is ringing again. "Don't tell me you're gonna stay overnight, mom", grunts Ed. Silence. "Hello...?" Silence. But then: _"I watched you hurt him today! Never do that again!" Ed_ startles after having listened to that creepy, technically manipulated voice. "Who the hell are you?", he asks as boldly as possible. But the anonymous caller just hangs up, which makes him shiver...


	6. Gods and Monsters

**IMPORTANT INFORMATION AHEAD:**

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own anything, not the brand names, not the song titles and especially not Fullmetal Alchemist.

 **Mystery:** As you can see, the Bradley family will not be the anonymous stalker's only target. Someone is really having an axe to grind with all of the major characters ;D

 **\- Chapter 6: Gods and Monsters -**

Edward is determined to put an end to it: A few weeks have passed and he has already gotten five of those prank calls. Each of them in the aftermath of a fight with Ivan Envy Bradley, who is still terrorising Kain Fuery from time to time. And that is why Edward has come to the conclusion that the anonymous caller must be him...

OOO

It is the first Friday of October. Edward and Catherine are entering the school canteen together when he suddenly decides to ask her a question: "Is it possible that you gave my number to others?" "No, I didn't. Why are you asking?" "Because... Lately, I'm getting these anonymous calls. And since you're _one of these popular girls_... I don't know."

"Like I said, I didn't give your number to anybody. But since you're _one of those popular guys_ , it could be anybody", retorts Catherine and winks cheekily before heading for the largest table and taking a seat next to Envy as well as other members of the lacrosse team who are obviously gossiping viciously about him, the new guy, at that moment.

Edward rolls his eyes and then just heads for the table that has been occupied by his friends, when he suddenly bumps into Elicia Hughes, who has happened to overhear his conversation with Catherine and is now scowling for some reason. "Oh, it's you! How are you El... Elicia...?" "Huh...?", asks Elicia with a terrified mien.

"Hey, are you okay? You look as though you'd seen a ghost or something", remarks Edward. "I'm fine... It's just... See you, Ed!", she stammers before suddenly hurrying away. Ed's only answer is a confused look. However, when he coincidentally notices Envy's mischievous smirk, he immediately comes to the following decision: _"I'm gonna check his cell phone!"_

OOO

Meanwhile, Olivier is tidying the school's gymnasium when Scodran suddenly barges in. "Is there anything you'd like to tell me?", he asks in a tone that is partly sarcastic and partly upset. They have not been on speaking terms since Kimblee's moving in. "Yeah. Your jacket is ugly", she retorts dryly. "Funny! But that's not what I was talking about!" "Well then. I'm listening."

"Good. Checking my bills a few days ago, I noticed an anomaly. I asked my bank and my landlord, but they just told me that somebody had paid for my rent for the next thirteen months!" "You know what? This story sounds really intriguing but if you don't mind, I'll get back to work, again." "Are you fucking kidding me?"

"No, the better question is – are _you_ kidding _me_? Why would I, of all people, pay for your damn rent, _stranger_?" "Search me! Maybe that's your idea of revenge or something!" "Don't get me wrong, but apparently you have no idea how revenge actually works", retorts Olivier sarcastically. "Oh please! Revenge is my middle name!"

"Also, I'm too much of a feminist to share your macho sentiments, which means that – in my view – paying for men is not even a punishment to begin with!" Silence. But then: "Wow. Enough said." "I guess so", retorts Olivier coldly. "Fine." "Fine." Silence. After that, Scar just stomps out of the gymnasium, leaving his scowling friend behind...

OOO

"The cold-hearted _Ice Queen_ and the poor guy with eyes as red as fire. Sounds like the beginning of a romantic love story to me", remarks Solf with a teasing smirk. At that moment, he and his flatmate are exiting the underground station. "I personally prefer the horror story about the homeless teen who suddenly vanishes one day", retorts Scar sarcastically.

Kimblee chuckles amusedly. "Come on, Scar. I'm just kidding. Besides, what's your problem? Someone did you a favour and instead of being grateful, you're bitching for hours." "Hey, watch your mouth! And don't be so ignorant! I don't have any relatives left out there and my only friend, except for those in Amestris, hasn't done that either!"

Scodran's flatmate shrugs. "Tcha. You're not the only person without wealthy friends. I mean, Greed wouldn't even buy me a Coke." "Who can blame him", retorts Scar dryly. "Are you trying to be funny or something?", asks Kimblee sarcastically. "Yes." "I see. Whatever. Perhaps, the other Armstrong did it." "I don't think so."

Suddenly, Solf discovers a piece of paper that is lying on their foot mat. "Or _D._ did it", he adds sarcastically, before handing the card to Scar. _"You're welcome, 2b. Kisses, D."_ "Who the hell is this person?", asks Scar in an unemotional tone that does not quite match his puzzled look. "Looks like we're having a stalker", answers Kimblee with an amused smirk. "Shut up, Kimblee."

OOO

"Perhaps, this isn't such a good idea", remarks Edward cautiously while he and Ling Greed are sneaking into the boys' locker room. "Are you kidding me? When you asked me to steal Envy's mobile phone, I almost got an erection." "So not helping, Greed. Besides, I never said something about stealing! I only wanna check his phone, nothing more than that!"

"Whatever. Just so you know, I have to hurry up because otherwise I'll be late for work. I do have the time to break the lock but after that, you'll be on your own." "Hey, Greed! Maybe -" But the damage is already done: "You're welcome, my friend." "But -" "Sorry, but I have to go now! See you later!" And just like that, Greed exits the room so that Ed is being on his own now...

OOO

"Damnit...!", swears Edward after having given in to the temptation. The good news is that it does not take him too long to find Envy's mobile phone. The bad news is that it requires a password. Hectically, Edward starts typing. His enemy's second name, _Cicero_ and other Latin personalities turn out to be wrong _. "Come on, Ed! Think, damned! Think...!"_

"Can I help you?", he suddenly hears someone ask behind him. It is Envy, who is wearing his lacrosse uniform and leaning against a locker, with crossed arms and a demoniac smirk on his face. Ed almost drops the phone when he recognises his husky voice. After having formed the word _fuck_ with his mouth, he quickly turns around with a goody-goody look that is totally out of character.

Envy raises an eyebrow. "I'm already dying to hear your explanation for this malefaction, you naughty boy." Edward would _always_ deny it: But for some inexplicable reason, he just happens to like the way Envy is pronouncing the word _naughty_. "I can explain!" "Well. Shoot, then. _Metaphorically speaking_." Deafening silence.

"Okay, you know what? Maybe I should ask my father, what -" "I didn't wanna steal it, okay? I just wanted to check, if you are the pervert who's calling me anonymously!" Envy answers with a puzzled look. "What the hell are you talking about?" "You know exactly what I'm talking about!" "Sorry, to disappoint you, but I don't have the slightest clue."

"Come on, Envy! Stop lying! That's just beyond ridiculous! Whenever I get into a fight with you, he, she, it, _bitch_ threatens me afterwards!" "Wow, wait a sec! Is this person actually speaking to you?" "Yeah, why?" "You prat! Why are you checking my phone despite knowing the voice of the real culprit?", asks Envy spitefully.

"Because that voice is a computer voice which means that it could be anyone! Including you and your friends!" "Oh, please! None of them would do such things without my permission! And I myself would never use a computer voice to torture you! I mean, come on! You know, that I'm better than that!" For some reason, Edward does indeed believe him.

But there is something else that is even weirder about his enemy's behaviour: At that precise moment, Edward is getting the impression that Envy is actually worried. Not about him, of course. But perhaps about himself? And this assumption brings up a particular question, that is somehow slipping out of his mouth: "Are you getting them, too?" "Am I getting _what_?", hisses Envy.

"Forget it!", grunts Edward and is just about to leave when: "Does that person know your secrets?" Ed halts abruptly and turns around. "I don't think so... Why are you asking?", he asks then. Silence. " _Forget it_ ", retorts Envy with his typical malicious smirk, before finally exiting the room. Ed, who would usually lose his temper in such situations, is merely being confused at that moment...

OOO

When Riza enters her residential building in the late afternoon, she almost bumps into Solaris for the second time in her life. But this time, the seventeen-year-old does not notice her which gives Riza the opportunity to discreetly follow her upstairs. Contrary to her expectations, Lust is not visiting her neighbours from 3b but her neighbours from 2b. Riza is confused...

OOO

Almost twenty minutes later, she is confiding in Heymans Breda. "So this Scar-guy is her lover? I knew it!" "But he doesn't appear to be the kind of man who'd date his own student!" "How do you know? Still waters run deep and right now, he's lucky to be a free man. At least for the time being." "Breda!" "What? Screwing minors is a crime, remember?"

"Okay, that's enough!", decides Riza before suddenly heading for the door. "Hey, what are you up to?", asks Heymans with a confused look and a toothpick dangling between his teeth. "I'm going to prove you wrong!" "Riza, wait!" But Riza has already exited the flat. "Damnit", mutters Heymans and rolls his eyes before finally forcing himself to get up from that _way-too-comfortable_ armchair...

OOO

"Hallo, Ms Hawkeye. And hallo, Mr Weasley." Breda answers with a dry look. "Sorry to bother you, but... Is Scodran home, perhaps...?", asks Riza sheepishly. "Nope. But he'll return soon. You can come inside and wait for him, if you like", offers Solf. "Thanks but that won't be necessary...! We'll come by another time...!", answers Riza. Kimblee just smirks, a quizzical look in his eyes...

OOO

"See, Breda? I told you. Scar's innocent." "But I don't get it. Didn't that Kimblee-guy move here _after_ you'd already seen the young lady for the first time?" "Yes. She's probably doing it with Roy _and_ Kimblee." "Hey, Riza." "What?" "Why do you care? Nobody asked you to marry this Roy-guy. You should befriend him though. I bet that he's interested in a friendship with you."

"Oh, believe me, I can very well imagine what a friendship with him would look like." "So what? Just try him and see where it'll lead you. You've nothing to lose, right?" _"Yeah. Nothing except for my heart"_ , she adds inwardly. "Right. I have nothing to lose", she answers instead. "See? Breda knows what he's talking about. And now, Breda is going to drink a beer." "Stop talking about yourself in the third person, Breda." "Yeah, yeah."

OOO

"Are you daft? You can't just answer the door three seconds after having pulled your penis out of my vagina!", hisses Lust. " _Keep your friends close, but your neighbours closer_ ", retorts Kimblee with composure. "Whatever. I should go now." "Yes, you should. But beforehand, you should do it." "Do what...?", asks Lust as naïvely as possible. Solf rolls his eyes.

"Please. I'm provably over-average intelligent. Therefore, I know full well that there's another reason for your visit", he finally retorts with a naughty smirk. Lust answers with an abashed look. "Why don't you just do it then?", she asks after a while. "Because I'm not ashamed of your reputation. You, on the other hand, certainly are ashamed of mine."

" _So much for 'over-average intelligent'! He probably thinks that I wouldn't sleep with other guys while being in a relationship with him! He's so full of himself! Oh, just you wait, Kimblee! I'll have the last laugh over you!"_ "Are you lost in thought again?", asks Kimblee with a raised eyebrow. "Okay, you know what? I'm indeed ashamed of your past! But that's not even the point!" "Uh-huh. Then what is the point, huh?", asks Kimblee indifferently. "I... Have a new lover!" That hit home.

But Solf is not the kind of boy who would cave in just like that: "Congratulations." "Thanks." "You're welcome." Awkward silence. "I guess, I'll see you tomorrow then? Unless you've just disinvited me, of course." "Don't be ridiculous! I mean, we're still friend, aren't we?" "Yeah! Absolutely! _Friend_ ", answers Solf with a gentle smile. "I'm glad to hear that! _Friend_ ", chuckles Lust. _"I'm so going to blow up your arse, slut"_ , announces Kimblee inwardly...

OOO

"Guess, who's inviting us to her birthday party!", chuckles Alphonse after Edward has entered the second storey. "Catherine...?" "No, brother! Solaris Lust Bradley!" "What the...?" "Trust me, I'm surprised too!" "You are...?" " _Angel or Devil_. That'll be the theme. And you know what? We're allowed to bring one person with us!" "Sounds... Cool..."

"I know, right? But now what? I mean, whom should I ask...? Kain or... May...?" Edward raises an eyebrow. "What? She's my friend and age-mate! Also, she's nice and all and... Okay, I think, I'll just ask Kain..." "No, Al! Don't! You should ask May! I'll ask Kain, instead!" "Are you sure, brother...?" "Yeah, totally!" "But... What about Winry...?"

Edward gulps. He just does not know how to explain to his younger brother why he does not want Winry and Lust to be in the same room. "Next time!" "Okay..." "Look, Al, I have to go now! Can we talk later?" "Sure..." Edward nods and goes downstairs without even noticing Alphonse's confused look...

OOO

A few minutes later, Ed is knocking on his neighbour's door. But nobody is answering it, which is why he decides to leave until he suddenly catches Elicia looking out of the kitchen window. "Come on, Elicia! I know, you're in there! Just open the door so we can talk for a minute!" Ed does not get an answer at first. But then, the door opens slowly. "Come in!", whispers Elicia from inside...

OOO

"It all started right after the summer holidays. Selim and I had to present our homework twice. The first time, he has won praise but the second time I have. Ms Sheska has been very impressed, to say the least. And that day, I found a note in my locker, with an e-mail address written on it. I decided to e-mail him or her. I was expecting a secret admirer or something like that..." Elicia sighs.

"But instead, I've been asked to give him or her your number. So I started to think she or he must have been one of your secret admirers. That's why I decided to give that person your number. But all of a sudden, I received another e-mail! No request this time! An admonition! That person actually admonished me to leave Selim Pride alone from now on! Only then did I get suspicious!"

"Oh, Elicia..." "I'm so sorry, Ed!" "Just... Go on, okay?" "Okay... Well, all that happened at school. My first impulse was to inform my father or Mr Mustang, the IT teacher. But suddenly, the e-mail was gone...! Just like that...!" "That's weird", remarks Edward with a sceptical look. "No, it's creepy!", retorts Elicia with a scared mien. Ed nods silently.

"I'm sorry, that this... Person terrorized you." " _You_ are sorry? _I_ am sorry! Just because of me, he, she, it has your number now!" "Elicia, did you tell your father about that?" "Of course, I didn't! He'd be worried sick!" "Come on. He's your father!" "Uh-huh? Did you tell your mother?", she retorts cheekily. "Sorry?" "I knew it." "Yeah, but I'm sixteen! You're thirteen!"

"What's the difference?" "The difference is that I know how to defend myself! Tell your father what happened! And let me ask Kain if he's able to recover the mail! Deal?" Elicia hesitates before finally nodding insecurely. Seeing a girl, who is usually very self-confident for her age, in such a state of mood, is harder for Edward than he would have thought...

OOO

Entering the living room of his new flat in the late afternoon, Solf Julius Kimblee is not surprised at all to come across his neighbour May Chang. Scodran Khan, on the other hand, is visibly confused by the reason for her visit: "Let me get this right. You are afraid of Alphonse Elric? The same Alphonse Elric who's feeding strays?"

"Of course, I'm not afraid of that Alphonse Elric! I'm afraid of the other Alphonse Elric who just gave me a call to ask me out! He wants to go to a party at the _Devil's Nest_! Don't you get it? It's the _Devil's Nest_!", squeals May nervously. Scodran's confused mien remains unchanged. "May, I'm afraid, you've lost me there..."

"Hey, may I?", intervenes Kimblee out of nowhere. May does not answer directly. Instead she starts pondering while nervously biting her underlip. "Why not?", she finally asks rhetorically. "Thanks. So... If I heard you right, you're afraid of the possibility that Alphonse Elric might be intending to... _Deflower_ you tomorrow night."

"Okay, since my participation in this conversation is sort of... Illegal, I'll better leave the room now!", intervenes Scar with a distraught mien. "Good idea! And take me with you, please!", interposes May sarcastically. Kimblee rolls his eyes and smirks amusedly before rising to speak again: "Come on, May. You don't have parents any more. And you probably don't have the courage to talk with your grandfather about _the birds and the bees_ either, so."

"And you seriously think that an ex-racist and psychopath would be the better option?", retorts May. "Ouch. But yes, that's exactly what I was thinking. And you know what else? I think that you're too young for such things, anyway", remarks Solf. "Excuse me? I'm fifteen!" "Age doesn't matter. You never had a date, let alone physical experiences. Besides, Alphonse Elric is American."

"So what, Kimblee?", asks May angrily. "Come on, May. Everybody knows that Americans don't know anything about contraception and stuff like that. Therefore, I advise you to give Alphonse the brush-off. Unless, of course, you're eager to produce little _Mayphonses_ , tomorrow night. Also, you could be my date instead."

"Okay! First of all, are you nuts? I mean, not only are you the worst counsellor on earth, but you're also a bloody hypocrite! You really think that I don't know what your real intention is? If you really want to go with an _Unbritish_ person to that party, just to rehabilitate your reputation, ask somebody whose heart isn't already reserved, yet!"

That is Kimblee's catchword: "Congratulations, young Lady. You just confessed to your love for Alphonse Elric. Which means that I've officially achieved my goal. See? I'm not a bad counsellor, huh?" May Chang raises an eyebrow. "Nice try, Kimblee", she retorts dryly before getting up from the armchair and heading for the door.

While doing so, she suddenly remembers something: "You know what? If you want to do us and yourself a favour, just ask Winry!" "Ask Winry _what_?" "What do you think? I'm talking about the party tonight! Just ask her!" "Why would I do that? Nobody in the world looks less exotic than she does", argues Kimblee nonchalantly.

"Well. In Dublith, she could actually pass off as exotic. Besides, everyone loves Winry! And seeing you with her, would definitely be good for you!" "Wow, one sec. Doesn't she belong to your gang too?" "She does! Which is why we all would be happy to see her at that party!" "Then why didn't the other Elric ask her? As far as I know, he's invited, too."

"Yes, but he's already asked Kain." "That's too bad." "Why...?" "Because I'm not going to ask somebody who despises me, to say the least." "She surely won't despise you that much any more, if you give her the opportunity to be in the same room with the guy she's falling for!", she accidentally blurts out. Kimblee answers with a conspiratorial smirk.

"Uh-oh...! You... Won't tell her that I...? Will you...?", asks May nervously. "Of course, not! Your secret is safe with me! You have my word, May." May does not answer verbally. But her sceptical look speaks volumes. At that moment, she is secretly hoping that her best friend Winry will not kill her with her favourite wrench...

OOO

"What do you think? Am I an angel or a devil?", asks Catherine the next day, while she is looking at herself in the only mirror in her male best friend's bedroom. "I'd say angel", answers Ivan Envy, who is sitting on the edge of his own bed, his legs outstretched and his hands braced against the blanket. "Oh! You're so sweet!"

"You know, what else I am? Allergic to the word _sweet_." Catherine rolls her eyes. However she cannot hold back a grin. "You should definitely be a devil tonight!" "You don't say." "And speaking of devils..." "Huh?" "Alphonse talked with me." "Alphonse...?" "Alphonse Elric!" "About what? Cats?" "No...! Well, yes. But also about Kain Fuery!"

Her friends rolls his eyes. "Come on, Envy! What you're doing to that innocent boy is just horrible! I mean, I knew that you've been teasing him every now and then, but I wasn't aware of the seriousness of the situation! You put that poor guy through hell!" Envy gets up, turns his back on her and stretches his body and arms. "Who cares? Nobody said, I was a saint."

"And nobody's saying, that you have to be! But please! Stop messing with victims! That's pathetic and you're definitely better than that! So... Will you stop bullying others or not?" "Before I'll give you an answer, you owe me one, first." "I'm an open book!", warbles Catherine while fishing a white Dior nail varnish out of her bag.

"Fine. Why are you asking me to be nice, all of a sudden? Are you doing this for the younger or the elder Elric?" "I'm doing this for Kain!" "Man, that's even worse." "Come on, Envy! I know that I've never truly noticed him in the past... But then, he saved my arse one day! He repaired my computer and recovered my assignment. He's the one who taught me the importance of USB flash drives!"

Ivan Envy rolls his eyes a second time. Especially when Catherine starts pouting all of a sudden. She is famous for her irresistibly innocent looks. And even someone like Envy is powerless in such a case: "Fine. I'll leave all the losers alone. But I won't be friendly towards them, so don't get your hopes up." "Okay, deal."

OOO

"I have good news and bad news", announces Kain while adjusting his nerd glasses. Edward sighs. At the moment, they are sitting in a bedroom with walls that are plastered with _Star Wars_ posters. Kain's bedroom, in other words. "The bad ones first!", decides Ed finally. "Okay... These e-mails were sent from one of the computers at the _Central Library_."

"Okay and the good news...?" "I found out from where these e-mails were sent... Okay, I'm just realising that it didn't make sense to start with the bad news..." "You don't say. But thanks for trying, buddy." "You're welcome. But you don't need to invite me only just because I -" "Nonsense. I invited you because we're friends, okay?"

"Okay... Well... As your _buddy_ , I strictly advise you to tell the police about these calls." "You mean... Your stepsister?" "For instance..." "Well, I don't think that this will be necessary. Nobody got hurt, right?" "Right... At least, not yet." "Come on, Kain! Don't worry! I'll be fine!" Kain does not know what to say...

OOO

Winry Rockbell, who is carrying heavy bags full of groceries in the meantime, is just about to go upstairs, when Solf Julius Kimblee, who has coincidentally exited his own flat, comes across her, on the stairs. "Hey, need a hand?", he asks politely. "I'm fine, thanks", answers Winry with a rather impersonal smile.

"O...Kay. Looks like you're still... Hating me. And that's totally cool. I mean, don't get me wrong! I've always respected hard-working people. And you're definitely hot. But frankly, I can't understand how everyone's considering you a nice girl when you're actually not that _friendly_." "Hey, Kimblee! They forgot to tell you that I know how to handle a wrench!"

"You're probably going to demonstrate that soon but just hear me out first." Winry blows out her cheeks. "Fine! You have one minute!" "Great. So... About that party tonight..." "The answer is no!" "Oh, come on. All your friends will be there!" "Still no reason to be your date!" "You won't be my date! You will be my trophy!" "Gross!"

"Okay, not that kind of trophy. But being your date would rehabilitate my reputation. And you'd benefit from our alliance too!" "How?", asks Winry, whose interest has just been aroused. Kimblee cannot hold back a triumphant smirk after he has realised that. "Well... Rumour has it that your diamond geezer has given somebody else preference."

"I don't know what you're talking about." "Yes, you do, Winry. You do. And hey, I'm not judging, okay? After all, everyone loves Edward Elric, right?" That is definitely overkill: In a matter of seconds, Winry pushes Kimblee against the wall and seizes him by the collar which is raising an even naughtier smirk from him.

"Oh Winry. Winry, Winry, Winry. What would your parents say?" "Shut up! You're a horrible person!" "Well... Is that a yes then?", he asks with his usual composure. "Nine o'clock, not later, not earlier!", hisses Winry, before abruptly removing her hands from his collar, grabbing her bags and stomping upstairs. Still smirking, Kimblee raises an eyebrow. "And they say, I'm a psychopath."

OOO

The _Devil's Nest_ in the Aerugo Lane, which is the most popular street in Amestris, is a bar in the southern borough and hotspot Dublith. That evening, only invited guests will be welcome there. The birthday girl herself has decided to be honest for once in her life and is therefore wearing a red devil-costume. And so are her only invited siblings Greed and Envy.

But unlike her sister, they are wearing the devilish colour black instead. And so is Kain, who is entering the bar along with an angel in white clothes by the name of Edward. "I can't believe Al has actually sweet-talked me into wearing an angel-costume", grunts Ed while eyeing all the creative devil-costumes. "He's manipulated me. He's been calling me 'guardian angel' all day."

"Come on, Ed! That's just what you are!", remarks Catherine who just came out of nowhere. She is wearing a golden angel-costume. "Are you nuts? Lust will totally kick you out when she finds out that you look like the actual birthday girl!", whispers Edward hysterically. Catherine answers with a quizzical look.

"That was supposed to be a compliment!", chuckles Al, who is wearing similar white clothing. "And you definitely deserve it because you look fantastic!", remarks May, who is wearing a pink angel-costume. "Thanks! So do you! Someone please take a picture of me and May!", giggles Cat handing her phone to Ed, without being aware that he used to be a hobby photographer, ages ago.

Only now does he suddenly catch Lust's attention, who is talking with her two siblings at the moment. "Oh my God. He looks even hotter as an angel!", she remarks in her seductive tone. Ivan Envy, who has not noticed Edward's arrival before, immediately rolls his eyes. "Hey, you better leave him alone! Someone like you doesn't deserve such an innocent person!", intervenes Greed.

"Wow. What a nice birthday gift, brother mine", retorts Lust sarcastically. "Innocence? Please", snorts Envy with crossed arms, after their sister has left them alone. "Oh? Is little Envy being jealous again?", retorts Greed in a similarly mocking tone. "Tcha. Maybe I would be, if he indeed was that innocent. But I promise you, he isn't. Because otherwise, _D._ wouldn't punish him as well."

Envy chuckles mischievously before adding the following words: "We all know that this person only punishes those of us who are having dirty secrets. And guess what, the pipsqueak is already one of his or her victims." "You're a terrible liar, Envy." "Tcha, if you don't believe me, you can just ask your new _bro_. But you'd probably love to say hallo to our friend first", whispers Envy.

While doing so, he is pointing at the door, where Kimblee, who is wearing a red suit, is standing next to Winry, who is wearing a silver angel costume, after they have entered the bar together. Ling Greed cannot hold back a naughty smirk. Edward and Lust, on the other hand, are visibly not quite happy at that moment...

OOO

Meanwhile, Roy is heading home after a horrible date. "Good evening!" Only now does he notice the pizza delivery boy who is standing in front of his residential building. According to the name tag, his name is Denny Brosh. "Wow, what a good smell! Did someone by the name of Havoc order this, perhaps?" "Um... No... Hawkman or something like that." Roy answers with a devious smirk...

OOO

"Excuse me but what do you mean by _somebody has already paid for it_?", asks Riza Hawkeye with a confused look. The pizza delivery boy by the name of Denny Brosh shrugs. "There's this neighbour of yours who insisted. I don't know his name. Black hair, American accent, irresistible smile..." Riza raises an eyebrow.

"Um... I mean... Women -", stammers Denny nervously. "Got it", interrupts his female customer. "Okay, cool! _Here_! This is our flyer! Have a nice evening!", hollers the pizza delivery boy hectically before quickly handing a flyer over and stumbling downstairs. "You, too", answers Riza while pensively staring at the door of flat 3b...

OOO

"It may be your brother's car but since I am the driver, I command you to stay sober tonight. Just like I will." After Kimblee has finished speaking, he just walks away instead of awaiting an answer. "Son of a bitch!", hisses Winry. "If so, why did you come here with _him_ of all people?", asks Edward, who just came out of nowhere. Winry startles at first.

But then, she abruptly turns around, hissing: "Why not? He asked me! Unlike others!" "Hey, calm down, okay? It's not like I asked another girl! I've invited Kain, our friend! But this guy isn't even our friend, to begin with!" "Says who?" "Winry...!" "What? Going to a party with someone is what friends use to do!" "Come on! We both know that he's interested in something else than friendship!"

"Why do you even care, huh?" "Because...!" "Yes? Ed?", asks Winry with raised eyebrows and crossed arms. "Because I don't like it when my friends get hurt...!", he finally explains. Not very convincing. "Okay... And what about you and your friend Lust then?" "What do you mean...?" "Oh, come on! Unlike us, you've been invited by the birthday girl herself!"

"Yes! I _and_ Al! The sons of the woman who is working for their family!" "I bet that this is the only reason", retorts Winry in an ironic tone. "Hey, Al and I are the newcomers and thus always open for invitations! Besides, we're not the kind of people who'd ever black-ball someone!" "Oh, really? Then why are you _black-balling_ Kimblee? I mean, isn't it sort of two-faced?"

"You should talk! I mean, you're the one who's bitching about Lust, despite being at her party!" "Leastwise, I know what I'm talking about! I know that girl for two years! And unlike you, I didn't just get to know her _physically_!" "Hey, are you nuts? I'm not someone who throws himself at anybody just because I'm desperate for acknowledgement!" "Okay, you know what, Ed?" "What?"

"Sod you!" "What...?", asks Ed with a confused look. At first, Winry does not know how to overcome that language barrier, which has just ruined her performance. "Google it!", she finally hisses before stomping away. Ed bares his teeth. That has been his first serious row with a girl. And unlike Envy, who has discreetly overheard their conversation, Ed himself did not enjoy it at all...

OOO

Later that night, Lust is literally having the devil's own time: A few seconds ago, she has pushed her ex-boyfriend against the back wall of the building. The next step would usually be a rough kiss. However, Solf's birthday gift turns out to be nothing less than a hefty brush-off: "Sorry. But no chance!" "Excuse me?" "Oh, come on, _Lusty_. _You_ asked for it. And this is how _it_ looks like."

"Are you daft? I'm Lust! _Nobody_ rejects me!" "Wow. You've called me a _nobody_ before but this time it's even more refreshing." Lust is visibly furious. But in a split second, she puts her wicked smirk on, before whispering in her typical seductive tone: "Just do whatever you want with that blonde scrubber of yours. We both know how this is going to end, anyway, don't we?"

All of a sudden, she is coming closer. Despite his outward composure, Kimblee is inwardly having a hard time resisting. "I always get what I want, Kimblee." Lust's ex-boyfriend does not answer. _"Her fragrance... What's it called again...? 'Hypnotic Poison'? How suitable! Just like her name."_ But Solf J. Kimblee toughs it out...

OOO

Almost every imaginable party song has been played that night. A few hours later, after most of the guests – including Kain Fuery – have already left the bar, the DJ is finally playing Lana Del Rey's soft song _Gods and Monsters_. Despite being uncomfortable with her lyrics, Al decides to ask May for a dance. "Come on!", whispers Winry encouragingly into her nervous friend's ear.

That, in combination with Al's magnetic smile, finally leads May to nod cheerfully. Alphonse gently takes her hands and puts them around his neck. "Do you mind if I...?", he asks cautiously before pointing at his own hands and then at her waist. May – too shy to answer verbally – just nods hysterically. "Okay, then", answers Al in his tender voice.

Edward, who is watching their dance, cannot hold back a smile. On the one hand, he is more than happy for his younger brother. But on the other hand, he is slightly envying him too. Alphonse and his mother are so much alike in terms of warm-heartedness and altruism. Unlike them, Edward is rather a destructive person. At least in his own opinion...


	7. Driving In Cars With Boys

**IMPORTANT INFORMATION AHEAD:**

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own anything, not the brand names, not the song titles and especially not Fullmetal Alchemist.

 **Storyline:** Since Kain's bullying has officially ended, he will get a new storyline soon.

 **Chapter:** I am trying hard to keep the chapters short but I fail almost every time. Sorry ;D

 **Content:** There will be a lemon in this chapter. So either skip the lines or enjoy it ;P

 **\- Chapter 7: Driving In Cars With Boys -**

"Looks like your brother's a downright ladykiller", remarks Ling Greed who just came out of nowhere and is now taking a seat next to Edward. "He isn't. He's a hopeless romantic", answers Alphonse's brother with a smile on his face that is barely visible. "Wow. You two have a lot in common, huh?", retorts Greed sarcastically.

"Shut up, Greed. No one's more _whorish_ than you", grunts Edward with bared teeth. However, Ling Greed is keeping calm, as usual. "Come on. I only laid like two girls today. Which is by far not enough to satisfy my greed." "Poor you", retorts Edward in a sarcastic tone. Ling Greed just shrugs relaxedly. "I know, right?"

Only now does Edward see the red devil Kimblee talking with the black devil Envy in the distance. "Hey, Greed! How is that even possible?" "What? Kimblee and Envy? They're friends." "But how...? I mean, isn't he your...?" "Yeah. Somehow he's getting along with everyone in my family. Except for father and Sloth. Even Pride likes him. But he's my friend in the first place."

"Yeah. And Winry's", mutters Ed with an annoyed look. "Winry..." "The blonde in the silver angel-costume." "Oh, right. No, they aren't friends. More like business partners." "Wait, what?" "Not what you're thinking. As you may know, he and my sister ended their relationship, yesterday. And now they're competing for whatever the fuck."

"Wow, wait a sec! Is he actually using her?" "Of course, he is. But so is she." "What the...?" "Yeah. Apparently, she's also intending to make somebody jealous. But to no avail, as it seems." Ed answers with a pensive look, while secretly wondering: _"Was she talking about...?"_ He does not know. "Hey, Greed, I'll be right back!", he decides spontaneously. "Yeah, yeah", mutters Greed.

OOO

Winry is still sitting on one of the couches all by herself and staring at the floor, when suddenly white Converses appear in her field of view, which causes her to look up abruptly. "What is it...?", she asks insecurely after having beheld Edward's almost invisible smile. "Um... Nothing... I just wanted to..." "Yes...?"

"Come on, Rockbell. Time to buzz off", interferes Solf Julius Kimblee, who just came out of nowhere. This causes Edward to bare his teeth. Winry does not move at first. "Ed...?", she asks cautiously but the blond boy remains silent. Kimblee, on the other hand, is rolling his eyes at that moment. But other than that he does not intervene.

It is only when Lust suddenly calls his name from the distance, that Edward abruptly turns around. "Ed!", repeats Winry in a rather upset tone this time. "Bye Winry!", mutters Ed as indifferently as possible, before instantly heading for Lust and a small group of people. Winry looks after him with an indignant mien. Not even Kimblee dares to mess with her at that very instant...

OOO

"Why do boys always have to be such idiots?", she complains, when she is later sitting in her brother's car. Kimblee, who is driving it, rolls his eyes for the second time that night. "Why do girls always have to play the victims?", he retorts. "Don't you dare, Kimblee! Especially after you've just witnessed everything he did!" "That's exactly the point. He literally did _nothing_."

"You know what? This is all your fault!" "You don't say." "I mean it! He was just about to tell me _something_ but then you _happened_!" "Words can't express how sorry I am, darling." "Stop making fun of me!" "I'd love to. But you're making it very difficult for me, my dear." "You... _Scheißkerl_...!" Solf nods approvingly: "Wow. Not bad." "There's plenty more where that came from."

"I bet, there is. But instead of learning my mother tongue, that I myself have neglected in years, you should rather start studying some informatory literature about _fornication._ You know. Just in case you should still be intending to keep up with the village bicycle after Edward's his first ride on it." "Okay, first of all – gross!"

After having put her can with Pepsi Cola – her favourite beverage – down, she adds: "Plus, you are the most insensitive person in the world, which is only one of the many things I hate about you!" " _I_ am being insensitive? _You_ are the one who's badmouthing boys despite sitting in a car with me, a boy with a two-timing ex-girlfriend", retorts Solf in a calm tone and with an amused smirk.

Since his tone and mien are not matching his words, Winry is not able to interpret them. To be on the safe side, she just asks: "Are you serious...?" "I'm always serious, my love." "Please, shut up! I mean, let's say Lust did cheat on you – why would you care?" "Come on, now you're being unfair", remarks Kimblee with a jocular pout on his face.

"You and Edward have never seen each other naked before and yet you're getting mad when he's flirting with her. But I – her ex-boyfriend – am not even allowed to be sad about her infidelity?" "Wait, I thought your relationship has never been real...?" "Yes, but we were friends in the first place. And friends shouldn't lie to each other. Whenever I slept with others, I've informed her too."

Winry, who is gradually getting used to Kimblee's indifferent tone that is accentuated by his naughty smirk, spontaneously decides to see behind the curtain now. And whenever she gets the impression that somebody needs an agony column, she becomes active: "Perhaps, she just made it up? I mean, think about it! Tonight, she didn't flirt with anybody! Except for Ed, of course..."

"Right, but we're talking about Lust." "So?" "So, her relationship is probably just too scandalous to rub it in my face." "But aren't you two of legal age?" "I don't think that the guy's age is the only problem. But this doesn't matter anyway. Not any more." "I see..." "Yeah, whatever. If you ask me, you should follow my lead."

"But I don't ask you. Because to be honest, I don't even know what you're talking about..." "I'm talking about _San Francisco_. You should better get over him before somebody gets hurt." Winry does not answer at first. While looking out of the window, she then murmurs: "Too late..." Kimblee discreetly averts his eyes from the streets so he can eye her side profile.

"What about your earrings?", he then asks interestedly, which causes Winry to avert her eyes from the window and look at him instead. " _These_? My granny gave them to me. A few months before she died." "Sorry for your loss." "Thanks... But what about your... Family?" "I don't have one. My mother and I have never been that close. And she's never told me who my father is."

"I'm... Sorry..." "Never mind. You can't _miss_ something that you never had." Deafening silence. And in order to bridge the time, Winry takes a sip from her beverage before curiously asking: "What about your palm tattoos?" "Those circles were swastikas before. And the other prisoners didn't like it." "Prisoners? You were in jail?"

"For one week. And there were those guys who were totally into that esoteric stuff. They also kept calling me _Crimson_ _Lotus_ all the time." "Wow. You were such an idiot back then." "Oh. The simple past?", he asks with a naughty smirk. "I mean, you still are!" "Of course." Winry rolls her eyes, which raises an even wider grin from him. After that, she fixates her gaze on the window again...

OOO

"I mean it, you didn't have to stay just to help us tidy up", chuckles the birthday girl. At the moment, she, her two brothers and the Elric-boys are sitting in Ling Greed's car on their drive home. Alphonse is sitting in the passenger seat. His brother, on the other hand, is sitting behind the driver's seat, right next to Lust, who is touching his leg again.

Since Ling Greed and Alphonse are having a conversation, they do not notice at all what is happening in the back seat. However, Ivan Envy, who is sitting right next to his sister, knows full well that she is seducing his enemy, which is why he is stubbornly looking out of the window, trusting that he will forget about it that way.

"So-so-laris, p-please! We're n-not a-alone!", whispers Edward hysterically, his cheeks red as a tomato, his crotch hard as a stone. Lust answers with a wicked smirk that causes the blond boy to gulp. Because now it is official: She will not stop until she gets what she wants. And Solaris Lust Bradley wants Edward Elric...

OOO

That is why she meets him in the back seat of the same car on Sunday. Edward had thought about it for hours before he finally decided to give it a try. But so far nothing has happened. "In your brother's car? Seriously?" "This is not my brother's car! Everybody who has his or her driving licence in our family is the owner. Well, father isn't but he has his own car."

Ed nods nervously. He has kissed and touched girls before, oral sex included. But other than that, he is still a virgin. "Don't worry. I can cope with virgins. I mean, I've never given it a shot but I can do a lot of _things_ , if you know what I mean." "Wait a sec! How do you know that...?", he asks, just when she is about to kiss him for the first time. Her raised eyebrow speaks volumes.

"Damnit... Is it really that obvious...?" "Oh yes. But you have no idea how fit that is!" " _Fit_...?" "Hot." "But why me...? Why not somebody who's like... _Skillful_?" "You're hot as hell! And unlike your brother, you're not too young." "Hell, no." "Come on! You know what I mean! Besides, you're obviously falling for another virgin. And two virgins at one stroke? That's definitely overkill!"

"I don't know what you're talking about", answers the male virgin as convincingly as possible. "Yes, you do. But right now, that doesn't matter, anyway", whispers Solaris Lust in her typical seductive tone, before slowly sitting down on his lap and ruggedly removing his hoody. "Why...?", asks Edward with an aroused mien.

"Because for the next minutes, it'll be only me and you!", she announces in a whisper before slowly undoing his belt. "I can't...", he moans with closed eyes and runs his fingers through his hair, while she is taking his penis out of his black boxer shorts. "I'm going to prove you wrong", she retorts with an alluring smirk and is just about to kiss his neck, when he suddenly grabs her shoulders.

"Wait! Promise that you won't tell anybody!" "You have my word", she whispers and winks nastily while putting his hands on her hips. Edward cannot stand it any longer: He wants her, there and then. That is why he kisses her first, not the other way round. While kissing her ardently, Edward loosens the knot of her wrap top, before ruggedly removing it.

Therefore, she is wearing nothing more than a mini skirt and her red bra. But Edward is willing to change that by unclasping the latter. Only now does he notice the uroboros-tattoo on her chest that is identical with the one on Greed's hand. But instead of eyeing her tattoo, Edward is speechlessly staring at her _delicious fruits_ now.

It is only when she suddenly shows him her sharp fingernails, that he abruptly looks up again. "Hard or soft? What would you prefer?", she asks. Ed's golden eyes become wider. Without warning, he impulsively slaps her rudely across the backside. Her only answer is a moan. "I can stand hard", he clarifies with a bold grin. "Such a _naughty boy_ ", whispers Lust teasingly.

Edward freezes instantly. Those two words are unwillingly arousing pictures of Envy in his is only, when Lust turns her back on him, that she is capturing his full attention. "What the hell?", he asks, his eyes and mouth wide open. For a moment, he is afraid that she has actually read his dirty mind. "Condom or not, it's your choice", she whispers into his ear, before finally _sitting down_.

Edward throws back his head and rolls his eyes with relish before _invading_ a girl's private area for the first time in his life. Meanwhile, Lust is putting one of his hands on her breast and the other one on her thigh. "Can you feel that small _pearl_ above my pussy?", she asks in a whisper. "Yeah, I can feel it", he pants before starting to touch it carefully.

"Yeah, right there! Just rub it!" "Like this?", he pants while touching her wet area a little harsher that time. "Oh, yes! Just get on with it!", she moans before throwing back her head so that it is resting on Edward's shoulder for the moment. Her neck and her hair smell of her wicked fragrance. A scent that is almost driving him over the edge.

And things are even getting worse, when Solaris Lust suddenly begins to bob up and down. Slowly at first. Then faster. Simultaneously, she is moaning non-stop and so is he. At that moment, Edward is having a hard time containing himself and thus, preventing himself from _ending that incredibly amazing game_ too early...

OOO

The back courtyard of that one particular residential building in the Xing Street is not that large. Yet it is Winry's favourite part of her home since this is the place where she can repair her future car. When she first bought it, it resembled anything but a car. But repairing vehicles and other stuff is her favourite hobby. Winry loves cars in general but playing doctor until her hands are daubed with oil pleases her even more.

Sadly, her work is almost done. But only almost. After having taken a sip of her Pepsi Cola, she goes down on her haunches again to finish the last details. However, her enthusiastic look turns instantly into a rather irritated one, when she suddenly hears a male voice behind her ask: "What the hell are you doing?"

Winry rolls her eyes and does not even bother to turn around, while snappily retorting: "What do you think, I'm doing?" "You mean, except for messing with stereotypes?" "I almost forgot how funny you are, Kimblee." "And I tend to forget sometimes, what a tomboy are." "Shut up, okay? There's no room for discrimination in this holy place." "If you say so."

Only now does Winry get up again, before proudly announcing: "Done!" Solf raises an eyebrow. "What do you mean by that?" "In view of the fact that you left Germany many years ago, you should understand what _done_ means." "Sorry, but I don't. I mean, how do you know that? Don't tell me you ignored the laws and made a test drive or something."

"No, but my brother will, when he comes home." "Lame." " _Lame_? Sorry, but unlike you, I'm not interested at all in a life behind bars. Besides, I haven't even varnished my baby yet!" " _Your baby_ , huh?" "Precisely." "Uh-huh. So you've asked your brother for support because you're too young and not because you're scared or something?"

"Scared of _what_?" "Of the consequences, in case this car shouldn't be... A car yet." "Are you daft? I'd never put my brother's life at risk! Besides, he's not going to leave this yard anyway!" "Lame." "Really, huh? And what do you suggest?", she asks in an annoyed tone. Kimblee's only answer is a conspiratorial smirk...

OOO

"I can't believe, that we're actually doing this", grunts Winry when she is sitting in the passenger seat of her own car. "Sorry, but my favourite flirts are those with the death", answers the driver. "Shut up, okay? My car would never be responsible for one of your flirts with the death! However, my tetchiness definitely would!" Kimblee smirks amusedly. "Perhaps you're right." "Am I, huh?"

"Yes. Also, I'm beginning to lose interest in this joyride." "Okay... Let's head home, then...", murmurs Winry, who is secretly a little disenchated now. "Um... No." "Hey, Kimblee...! What are you up to...?" "Don't worry, young Lady. I'm not going to play _The Fast and the Furious_ with you." "But...?", she asks nervously. "You don't like surprises, do you?", asks Solf with a devious smirk...

OOO

Edward feels miserable. But this does not prevent him from working. Today, he is not working at the restaurant but at the _Central Library_ in the Amestris Avenue, in the centrally located borough Central. This is the most famous street in the city and a quite urban and busy one too, just like the entire borough itself. The library, on the other hand, is welcomely placid.

This predominant silence is allowing his inner thoughts to nearly deafen him. Ed would love to turn them off but it is pointless: No matter how hard he is trying, he just cannot get _it_ out of his head. After having recalled it over and over, he finally comes to the following conclusion: Sex is an exciting activity but only for the moment. The _naked_ truth is that he felt bad afterwards.

However, he does not know why: Because whenever he is coincidentally overhearing a conversation of Lust's former lovers at school, he quickly gets the impression that those boys just cannot get enough of her. He himself, on the other hand, knows that this was the first and also the last time. They did not even kiss afterwards. But the ugly truth is that he could not care less. The only thing that matters to him is that they both agree on keeping this a secret and a one-time-thing...

OOO

The clock strikes fiveteen, which means that the library is going to close in thirty minutes. After having asked the people to leave via loudspeaker, Edward, whose shift has not ended yet, has to roam around the corridors to pick books up and other things from the floor and to turn off all the lights. It is the usual procedure.

But entering the reading corner, he suddenly notices that he is not alone in there. Somebody is lying on one of the couches and still reading, although he has informed the visitors a while ago. "Excuse me? I'm afraid, you need to leave now." He does not get an answer, which is why he heads for the couch, his mien quizzical.

When he then sees Envy of all people sleeping on that couch, he startles immediately. Seeing him in that unusually vulnerable state, beguiles Edward to hit him with a book by Thomas Mann since those tend to be quite thick. But instead, he decides to pull him by his hair. He hesitates for one last time before finally putting it into action.

Ivan Envy abruptly starts from his sleep, screaming: "Porter!" Edward jumps with fright and steps back. Only now does Envy notice his presence: "What the hell are you doing here?" "I'm working here! The better question is – what are you doing here?", retorts Edward. "None of your bloody business", hisses Envy calmly.

"Well, it literally is my _bloody_ business. Seriously, didn't your mother tell you that you should never fall asleep in a bus, train, plane or a library?" "No. My mother bit the dust, remember?" It is almost pitiable that even someone like Envy can evoke feelings of guilt in Ed: "Damnit...! Sorry..." Envy nods half-heartedly while picking his jacket up.

Only now does Edward spot the book on the table. It is Patrick Süskind's novel _Perfume_ , Envy's favourite book. "I'm afraid you'll have to leave that here. I already turned off the lights and stuff." "Whatever. It's mine anyway." "If so, follow me." "Why would I do that?" "Because otherwise you'll have to spend the night here. I already locked the front entrance."

Instead of awaiting an answer, Edward just heads for the backdoor. Envy follows him, reluctantly. "Did you have a nightmare or something?", asks Ed out of nowhere. Envy cringes discreetly. "No...! Why...?", he asks as relaxedly as possible. Edward hesitates. "You screamed a name... Porter, I think...", he finally answers cautiously.

"Weird. I mean, I do know a boy named Porter but usually, he doesn't appear in my dreams." "Uh-huh." Silence. "Why did you come here anyway? Just to read your own book and then fall asleep?" "Is it forbidden?", retorts Envy in a snappy tone. "I'm just making conversation, okay? Like decent people use to do!"

"Well, that may be something usual in California. But not here. Besides, _you_? A decent person? Since when, huh? Normally, you would have attacked me by now", retorts Ivan Envy with a spiteful smirk. Edward does not know what to say. However, Envy's sudden halt raises both – an eyebrow and a simple question: "What?"

Envy's smirk widens. "You're scared, aren't you?" "Scared of what? _You_? Keep on dreaming, Envy! Nobody scares me!" "Not even _my guardian angel_?" "What...?" "Come on, you heard me the first time." "But I don't get it! I mean, are you saying that you have something to do with those calls?", asks Ed after having raised his voice. "Wow. You really are frightened, aren't you?"

"Hey, forget me, okay? That person isn't just stalking me! It's also harassing a thirteen-year-old and God knows who else!" Envy is confused: "Which _thirteen-year-old_? Selim Pride?" "On the contrary. That person is obviously trying to protect your brother, just like he, she, it is defending you." "Oh, okay. Elicia Hughes then." "Wha...? No, it's not her and -" "Nice try."

"Okay... Well... The point is that somebody is trying to mess with us!" "Successfully, as it seems." "Definitely not!" "So that's why you tried to check my phone. Because you allegedly don't care, huh?" "Hey, I've already apologized, okay?" "Really? Can't remember it. But I do remember that you accused me." "And you're blaming me for it because...?", asks Ed sarcastically.

Silence. "The point is that many people dislike you. Therefore, it's unfair to accuse me alone." "Come on, don't talk to me about fairness, Envy. That's just ridiculous." "Whatever. I've already told you that I'm not the caller... But of course, I can't speak for my siblings." "What...?", asks Edward, a little insecurely.

"Oh, I have an even better theory! Last time, you mentioned a computer voice. And there's only one IT-nerd, I can think of..." "Are you nuts? If any, Kain would be threatening you!" "Are you sure? He could also have a split personality. One half likes you and the other one _admires_ me. _Stockholm syndrome_ -style." After having finished speaking, Envy just bursts into amused laughter. Ed snorts.

Only now do they notice that they have already left the building. "Did you drive here?" "I'm sixteen, prat." "Uh, right. I always keep forgetting that minors aren't allowed to drive in this country." "Why did you ask, anyway? You really think that I'd ever let you sit in my car?" "You really think that I'd ever let you drive a car, I'm sitting in?", retorts Ed. "Whatever", snorts Envy.

"I'll cab. And so will you, because I don't have enough money." Ed raises a brow and crosses his arms. "So what? Take the bus or walk or whatever the f-" "I'll tell everyone about your shag with Lust." Ed is speechless. He does not know what _shag_ means but since Lust's name has been brought up, he can only think of one possibility: Envy must have found out about their _car ride..._

OOO

Meanwhile, Winry's future car is parking on the top of a hill whence one has a good view of the northern borough Briggs as well as some parts of the eastern boroughs Resembool and Liore. Winry, who is sitting on the engine bonnet, is visibly impressed. "You like it, don't you?", asks Kimblee, who is sitting next to her, with an amused smirk.

"I do... I've been living here for two years now but I've never seen this place before..." "Well... I have. When I was younger, this has been sort of my sanctuary. I used to come here very often. To think about my life and dreams..." Kimblee has never sounded that serious before. "Is that true, Solf...?", asks Winry, just to be on the safte side.

"Nope. But that's one of the thing they keep saying in those stupid romantic comedies." Winry rolls her eyes. But for some reason, she cannot hold back a smirk. "But seriously, why are we here?" "I don't know." "You didn't bring me along to kill me or something, did you?", asks Winry jocularly. Or maybe not that jocularly. "Nah. I'm not a killer, just a bomber."

"Wow. How comforting." "Yeah. Just out of curiosity, will you be harping on about my... Not so bright side forever or are you actually going to stop being so monotone someday?" "Counter question – will you stop being such a drongo?" "Is drongo a good thing?" "No!" "Then probably not. But just so you know – generally, I'm a downright gentleman towards women."

"I can remember those days of yours. But that's history", retorts Winry before taking a sip from her Pepsi Cola. "Actually, that's not true. I'm still like that. Just not when I'm with you." "Oh. Unlucky me." "Well, I guess, I'm just not that into tomboys." "And I'm not into playboys." "Wow. We'd make a great couple." "That's for sure." "Yeah... Come on, let's head back." "Okay, why not."

OOO

Edward starts from his sleep, after somebody has shaken him by the shoulder several times. At first, he does not know where he is. He is still drowsy and therefore also a little confused. At that moment, he can merely recognise Lana Del Rey's voice. Her song _Driving In Cars With Boys_ is playing somewhere.

After a few seconds, he also recognises the taxi driver as well as his house, which is why he turns off his Ipod. "Good, you're awake now. Your friend has already left. He told me that it was your turn to pay." "What the...?" " _Here's_ what you owe me, young fellow", announces the taxi driver while pointing at the display. Edward cannot believe his eyes...

OOO

With clenched fists and gritted teeth, he is finally getting out of the cab after he has paid the driver. Only now does he notice that piece of paper on the footpath that must have fallen off his lap, after he had straightened himself. _"Didn't your mother tell you that you should never fall asleep in a cab?"_ Ed is clenching his fingers again and thereby crumpling the piece of paper in his hand...

OOO

After having entered his kitchen, Ed immediately heads for the fridge to grab a can of Mountain Dew, his absolute favourite beverage. It took Trisha forever to find that American soft drink in Amestris. However, she and Al wish that Ed would someday get rid of his unhealthy eating and drinking habits. Almost every day, he is replacing a healthy dinner by his beloved fast food: Pizza, kebab, burgers – Ed is not choosy. The only thing that matters to him is that his meal is unhealthy.

Another thing that calms him down are video games. Playing them has been his only hobby, since the day he abandoned his true passion: Photography. Actually, this has been Van Hohenheim's passion. But after his father's death, Ed started to keep it up. However, dedicating himself to it had made him think all the more about his loss which is why he someday decided to leave it alone...

OOO

Before entering his own room and turning his games console on, Edward knocks on Alphonse's door. Nobody is answering at first. Ed can only hear the sound of the television in there which confuses him a little. _"Um... Come in, brother!"_ , murmurs Alphonse a few seconds later. His older brother answers with a quizzical look.

But when he then sees Al and May sitting on the bed with messy hair and goody-goody looks, he instantly understands what is going on: "What the hell are you two doing...?" "We're watching TV! But I was just about to leave, so!", stammers May, before quickly exiting the room, the storey and the house. Al – cheeks red as tomatoes – does not even dare to look at his brother at that moment...

OOO

"What we're you thinking, damnit?" "Calm down, brother..." "I'd love to! But unfortunately, you leave me no choice!" "Hey, come on! We were just kissing!" "While nobody was being around, huh?" "Exactly!" "On your bed?" "Ed... Stop accusing me... Nothing like that happened..." "Yeah, because I barged in!"

Suddenly, Al is raising his voice too: "No! Because unlike you, I'm treating sex as something meaningful!" That hit home. "Ed...! I'm so -" "It's fine. You're right. Just... Right." And instead of giving Alphonse the opportunity to say anything else, Ed just stomps upstairs and slams his own door shut. Al flinches. Even though he should have gotten used to that behaviour by now...

OOO

Today, it is Roy's turn to walk Winry's and Jean's dog Den. After having left his flat, he comes across Riza, who is also about to walk her dog Black Hayate. "Hello, neighbor." At first, Riza does not answer him, since she is too ashamed. Ashamed, because she has not thanked him yet for the free meal. However, she is too self-confident to miss the opportunity...

OOO

While walking through their living street, she finally brings it up: "Thank you, by the way." "For what?", asks Roy with a playful smirk. "For the dinner. Next time, it'll be my treat." "Oh, please. No lady deserves that." "What makes you think that I'm a lady?" Roy answers with an amused laugh. "If any, you should _pay_ me a visit. You promised, remember?", he then retorts.

"I'm sorry but I've been quite busy these days." "I could see that." Riza answers with a quizzical look. But Roy just changes the subject now: "So. Do you miss South Africa?" "Not at all. I've always preferred the weather here." "So you've been here before?" "Actually, I've spent my childhood here. In the same flat."

"Oh, so you actually aren't South African?" "I am." Roy does not answer. Instead he is patiently waiting for further information. However, Riza has questions too: "What about you? Do you miss..." "New York." "Yes. New York! Do you miss it?" "Not really." "What brought you here, if you don't mind me asking?"

"Well... After I had graduated, I decided to spend a year abroad. I searched in the internet for a place to stay and found a shared apartment. An Irish woman named Gracia, her boyfriend Maes Hughes and I became roomies. And friends. They already had a child but no diploma or job yet, which is why they couldn't afford their apartment."

"So you didn't return to New York because of them?" "I wanted to. But unfortunately, Gracia had a terrible accident someday. She's been a nurse who used to work voluntarily at a psychiatry. One of the patients must have planned to escape. And Gracia paid for it with her life... My friend and his daughter were... I don't know..." "I'm so sorry..." "Thank you..."


	8. Cola

**IMPORTANT INFORMATION AHEAD:**

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own anything, not the brand names, not the song titles and especially not Fullmetal Alchemist.

 **Pairing:** The Edward x Lust-adventure is so over. Just so you know ;)

 **Content:** There will be several lemons in this chapter. So either skip the lines or enjoy it ;P

 **\- Chapter 8: Cola -**

" _You shouldn't drink that. It's poison", remarks Solf Julius Kimblee while looking at the can in her hand with disgust. At the moment, he and Solaris are chilling on the beach. Instead of listening to him, she just takes another sip. However, one drop misses her mouth, slowly runs down her upper body and ends up in her black bikini panties._

 _Witnessing that causes him to stare at her winsome curves next. And apparently, Lust is noticing his piercing look."What is it, huh? Do you want to borrow my panties or something?", she asks without taking her sunglasses off and also without looking at him. "Am I really that predictable?", asks Solf sarcastically. "Shut up!", chuckles Lust. "Make me", retorts Kimblee with a naughty grin._

" _Oh, trust me. I know the perfect way to keep your mouth busy", whispers Lust teasingly before slowly taking down her bikini panties. "If you ask me, the only reason why you don't like Cola is that you've drunk it the wrong way until now." Solf answers with an amused laugh. "I'm waiting!", she announces before lying down again._

 _It is only when he cannot prevent himself any more from diving his tongue into her warmth, that here private area is no longer being unoccupied. "Oh, my...!", moans Lust with relish after he has finally begun. Additionally, he starts touching her chest and bottom too which causes her to arch her back even more. Kimblee enjoys satisfying her._

 _But he is too egoistic to forgo his own fun which is why he suddenly removes his mouth. After having kissed her torso, he starts sucking at her soft neck while simultaneously penetrating her, rudely. "I knew, that we'd do it someday", whispers a girl into his ear, whose voice did not sound like Solaris Lust's. This causes Kimblee to abruptly open his blue eyes._

 _Blue eyes that are widening promptly, after he has realised that the girl, who is lying there, is Winry Rockbell of all people, and not Solaris Lust Bradley. "Did you seriously think that it was her pussy that's tasted like Pepsi Cola?", chuckles the blonde girl amusedly. For some reason, this is sending a chill down his spine..._

OOO

Kimblee starts from his sleep, breathing heavily. It takes him a while to realise that everything that has just happened was nothing but a dream. Or maybe a nightmare. Or maybe a clarion call. Whatever it was, it is over. However, the bulge, that is deforming parts of his blanket, proves otherwise. "Dammit", he mutters before heading for the bathroom...

OOO

Most of the teachers from the _Pendleton Secondary School_ are quite popular amongst the students. The British Latin teacher Mr Grumman is the oldest staff member. He is sixty-five years old but not feeble at all. Although the students call him Grummy, they all think that he is an entertaining old man. Mr Grumman often makes use of creative methods, like disguising as Roman personalities. That way, he is trying to make his lessons more interesting. With success. Especially Envy, who is secretly a big fan of acting, likes his lessons and also the subject itself. Grummy's office is full of Russian Dolls.

Dr. Tim Marcoh is a British science teacher. He is forty-five-years old but not nearly as vivid as Mr Grumman. Despite his confusing lessons, he is popular too. Many students think that he is a kind teacher and person. Especially May whose favourite subject is biology, Alphonse whose favourite subject is phsyics and Kimblee whose favourite subject is chemistry are his fans. Tim Marcoh is both a science teacher and a famous cookery writer. He and Mr Chang became friends after Fu had shared one of his family recipes with him.

The thirty-year-old history teacher Vato Falman is famous for two things: His talent to checkmate every game partner and his left-wing extremism that has subsided over time. Elicia Hughes admires him, his idealism and also the subject he is teaching.

Miss Sheska is a twenty-six-year-old literacy teacher who knows every book she has ever read inside and out, especially Shakespeare's works. She simply adores him. Her other addiction is caffeine. Some of the students think that her endless enthusiasm is due to her caffeine addiction. Others think that she is taking drugs. But Miss Sheska would never do that. Her biggest fan is Selim. He loves her subject as well, which is why he is always eager to write the best essays.

Maes Hughes is everyone's agony column. He is always there for students and workmates. Not only does Winry love his subject, but also his company. Sometimes, she even sees her father in him. And Elicia is like a sister to her. Maes Hughes is also the kind of man who is constantly trying to play Cupid. His newest victims are Scar and Olivier, but they have no clue yet.

Scar and Olivier are the most intimidating teachers, except for the headmaster. Olivier is the boys' PE teacher. The male students do consider her a beautiful woman, but in the first place, they all fear her. Despite everything, the students like her and their music teacher Scodran because after all they think that these two are fair and cool people. Especially Ling Greed, whose favourite subject is PE, is a fan of the female Armstrong.

His sister Solaris Lust, on the other hand, prefers the other Armstrong and his subject. She used to draw and design a lot in her free time, when she was younger. However, this had been the case before sex became her only interest and hobby.

Catherine Elle Armstrong, of all people, is not a big fan of her siblings' subjects. Just like most of the male students, she is a fan of her French teacher Rebecca Catalina. But unlike her schoolmates, she actually likes the subject itself and not just the teacher. As a matter of fact Rebecca is a downright teenage fantasy.

And so are Roy Mustang and Jean Havoc, the girls' PE teacher. Roy is considered smexy as well as manlike and Havoc a potential boy group member. They are like the Edward Cullen and Jacob Black of the _Pendleton Secondary School_. Unlike the girls, Kain Fuery likes Mr Mustang's IT lessons and not just his _Armani Code_. His _lady-killing_ fragrance and charm are the main reasons why Edward, who loves maths itself, hates his maths teacher. After all, he automatically hates anyone who is trying to get off with his mother.

But no matter how much he dislikes _Playroy Mustard_ , he would never seriously harm him. None of the students would do something like that to their teachers. Therefore, all the staff members of the _PSS_ is shocked when they enter their offices on Monday: Their desks are broken, the walls are smeared with mud and the pillows of the couches are shredded. It looks like a tornado shot through. Only Mr Bradley's office has been spared. But when the shocking news finally reach him, he secretly becomes panicky...

OOO

Riza and Heymans are two of the officers who have left the police station in the Amestris Avenue, in order to examine the crime scene. The pupils have been sent home. "Did something like this happen before?", asks Riza. "Of course not. Our school is a peaceful place", answers Sloth in a reproachful tone, that causes Riza and Breda to look at each other discreetly, their brows raised...

OOO

"The band begins to play", remarks Lust while she, Greed, Envy and Pride are entering their house. "Don't be silly. What happened today, has nothing to do with those calls!", answers Selim as confidently as possible. "Really, huh? And what gives you that idea?", asks Greed with a raised eyebrow, before telling them everything about the anonymous gift for flat 2b.

"Okay, now you're being ridiculous. We barely know Mr Khan!", argues Pride. "But we do know Kimblee. Perhaps that person wanted to do _him_ a favour. Not Scar", speculates Ling Greed. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but for the first time, your ravings actually make sense", interposes Envy. "I love you too, brother mine", retorts Greed sarcastically.

"What do you mean by that?", asks Selim nervously. "Well. Edward _El-Freak_ told me about an anonymous caller who's threatening him whenever he and I get into a fight. You know? Like a personal protector. And maybe that somebody wants to protect friends like Kimblee as well", answers Ivan Envy.

Pride is uncharacteristically confused: "But that doesn't make any sense! He, she, it clearly hates us!" "You mean he, she, it clearly hates _you_ ", retorts Lust, which causes her youngest brother to knit his brows. "Or maybe that person does indeed hate us but just doesn't want others to punish us. That way, he, she, it, cunt doesn't have to share our arses with others", speculates Greed.

"But who would do something like that? I mean, finding out our secrets is one thing but why would someone try to use them against us?", asks Lust pensively. "Well, there's only one motive I can think of. Revenge", answers Envy. "Revenge for _what_? We've never caused harm to anybody!", interposes Solaris Lust. Her siblings answer with dry looks.

Solaris Lust rolls her eyes before adding: "Well, okay. At least not as a group. I mean, why would one of Envy's victims try to harm us all? And then try to protect him?" "Why would anybody try to protect Envy?", interposes Ling Greed. "Shut the fuck up!", hisses Ivan Envy. "Stop it, guys!", intervenes Solaris Lust.

"We need to focus!", she adds with a serious mien. Ling Greed does not agree: "Why should we? Someone is playing a game out of boredom. This person will surely lose his or her interest in us when we just keep on ignoring it. Also, if you ask me, it doesn't truly know all of our secrets. It just wants us to believe that."

Suddenly, the doorbell rings. After Lust has opened the door, she and her brothers, who followed her, are surprised to see nothing but a cleaning agent with a lemon yellow label and a message. _"Enjoy your clean-up operation! I bet that there is still blood on your basement walls. Kisses, D."_ The siblings look at each other with puzzled miens before synchronously running off...

OOO

"What the...!", whispers Ling Greed who has entered the basement before his three siblings. Solaris Lust, Ivan Envy and Selim Pride are at least as shocked as he is when they see the big, fat and red-coloured letters on the wall: _"Rest in Peace!"_ "Okay... I'm so not going to sleep in this house tonight!", announces Solaris. Nobody mocks her...

OOO

"Wow, wait. You want to spend the night here?", asks Solf with a raised brow. "Reality check? Yes, I do! But frankly, I don't know why. Because the only person I know who would do such a crazy thing is you!", retorts Greed. He did not tell Solf about the message. He just said something about red colour on the wall. "Come on. At least, I used real blood back then." "Shut up, Kimblee."

OOO

Meanwhile, Lust is trying to persuade Jean on the telephone: "I can't sleep alone in a hotel room! And my own house is also not an option after what has happened at school!" _"But why is that? What happened, happened at school, not in your house."_ "Well... I guess, I just don't want to be alone at home... But I would be since everyone's going to stay somewhere else tonight!"

" _Still. I can't do it, Solaris. If I spend the night somewhere else, my flatmates will notice something."_ "Why don't you just tell them that you're going to have a date this evening? Nobody will ask questions if you don't return home after a date!" Jean does not answer directly. But Lust already knows that she is going to get what she wants. As usual...

OOO

Selim Pride Bradley, on the other hand, does not know what to do. Therefore, he just walks through his living street while desperately trying to get his eldest sister on the phone. But to no avail. What he does not notice at first is that Trisha Elric, who has not left her house yet, is looking out of her kitchen window and eyeing him quizzically...

OOO

Catherine is surprised: "But Envy! You never stay overnight!" Envy, who is lying on her bed with his arms crossed behind his neck, rolls his eyes. "Relax, okay? I won't rape you." "Hey, I already clarified that I've never considered that one practice a rape! Besides, I'm not the problem here! My sister is!" "Why should she bother? You have like ten bedrooms. I can sleep in one of the others."

"I think that would be okay." "Cool." "Cool." "Wanna practise?", he then asks with a naughty smirk. "Sure, why not", answers Cat, shrugs and lies down next to him. When her friends started to talk about sex last year, she made a decision: She may not have fallen in love yet. But she still has to keep up with the other girls. Therefore, she asked her male best friend to help her out.

He had sex at the age of fourteen for the first time. But he would not tell her with whom. Since he is not as lusty and greedy as Lust and Greed, he does not sleep with many people. Cat is his only lay currently. Although she is mostly enjoying the intercourse with him, she sometimes suffers from his _back entrance_ -fetish. But Cat does not even know his true sexual passion yet: BDSM...

OOO

"Ed and Al told me what happened... I hope your father and your teachers are fine...?" "I guess so", answers Selim Pride, who is sitting in Trisha Elric's kitchen at that moment. "And what about you? You look quite upset yourself..." "I'm not, okay? I was bored and decided to go for a walk, that's it." Trisha answers with a soft laugh.

"Selim, please. We've already crossed that line, remember? Just tell me what happened, my dear...!" Selim hesitates. Of course, he would not tell her the truth. But maybe he would tell her about the collective exodus of his siblings and that he is still scared of being alone at home. Trisha have already found out about the latter anyway which means that he has nothing to lose...

OOO

Ling Greed is still intending to spend the night in flat 2b. But that does not mean he is going to spend his day there either. He is Ling Greed after all. Therefore, Solf J. Kimblee is being home alone. At least, until the doorbell rings unexpectedly. After having opened the door, he is surprised to see Winry of all people: "You...?" When her dog Den starts barking at him, he just raises a brow.

"Yes. Hey. Is May here, perhaps?" "Believe it or not – she isn't. Because Scar isn't here either, so." "I see... So my flatmates aren't the only teachers who have been asked to stay at school." "No. I guess the police have lots of questions and stuff." "So do I! I mean, first of all – who would ever do such a thing?", asks Winry angrily. "Well. Except for you", she adds after Solf gave her a dry look.

Suddenly, she drops her keys by accident. "Oops", she mumbles before quickly bowing down. Solf unwillingly stares at her well-formed bottom. _"Dammit"_ , he mutters inwardly. "Whatever. If May isn't available, I'll just go without her." "Go where?" "I'll walk the dog. Oh and my brother asked me to buy cigarettes. Idiot." "Language, Lady. Besides, how...? Don't tell me you have a fake ID."

"Sometimes, they don't check my age." Solf nods. "Hey, are you busy at the moment?", asks Winry out of nowhere. "Not really. Why?" "Well... You're eighteen and... You know?" "Sorry but no. I don't buy cigarettes." "Come on! You won't smoke them, just buy them!" Just when he is about to object again, she suddenly puts an irresistibly cute pout on. Solf rolls his eyes: "Fine. Let's go."

OOO

In the meantime, Edward Elric is entering his own house, after he has escorted Elicia Hughes, just to make sure that she will be safe. In front of his own kitchen door, he almost bumps into his mother. "Oh, you're home, honey." "I am. But looks like, you were just about to leave, huh?" Trisha opens her mouth to answer.

But Selim Pride Bradley, who just came out of nowhere, is faster: "You're right, Edward. Your mother has to come with me. Our house is a mess." Edward discreetly rolls his eyes. Unlike Alphonse, he is not a fan at all of the youngest Bradley. "Fine. I'll order a pizza or something", he decides spontaneously.

His mother sighs, though as quietly as possible. But then, she comes up with a solution: "You know what? Don't! Just come with us and I'll cook something for both of you!" Edward answers with an unenthusiastic look. But Selim knows exactly what he has to say if he wants to persuade him: "Don't worry. My other siblings won't be there."

OOO

"What do you think? Did one of our schoolmates play havoc with our school?", asks Winry interestedly. "I don't know." "Come on, I know you, Kimblee. You always have theories. Even about Lust's secret lover." "Well, this time, I'm clueless. I mean, the only person I can think of is me. But I didn't do it." "If so, it could be one of your fans." "Fans?"

"I don't know. Or maybe it's just a former student who still has a score to settle with our teachers." "Like I said, I'm totally clueless." Winry does not answer. Instead, she just halts abruptly. When Kimblee gives her a quizzical look, she just rolls her eyes. "What?" "Nothing! It's just that you're acting weird today! I mean, you're even more unapproachable than usual!", remarks the blonde.

"And you're even more devoted than usual. How come? Don't tell me you want to be my friend all of a sudden." Winry does not answer. "What?", asks Solf with a confused look. "Nothing... It's just... I don't know, I thought we already were... Friends... Aren't we...?" Solf answers with an amused laugh. "Are you kidding? You don't even like me!" "What? I never said that!"

"Right. The word, you were using instead, was _hate_." "Come on! That was just a joke!" Kimblee raises an eyebrow. "Okay, fine, it's true. I _did_ hate you in the past. I mean, first you were flirting with me and then you just started ignoring me. And that was fine by me. But then you suddenly turned out to be a right-wing extremist and that was just overkill! But that's over, isn't it?" "Totally."

"Okay. If so..." "Wait a sec! When have I ever ignored you?" "That was before they institutionalised you." "Oh right. Well, I thought you weren't interested. I even thought that you were gay." "Hey, I'm not, okay?" "It's okay, Winry. That's nothing to be ashamed of", answers Kimblee with a teasing smirk. "Hey, I'm not a homophobe either, okay? But I'm still straight!"

"But how is it that you've never had a boyfriend then?" "I... I don't know... I mean, I did like guys before. And some of them did actually liked me back. But for some reason, every date ended with a high five." "I see. So you're _Lady friend zone_ , huh?" "Yeah... I am... But hey, I just love my lumberjack shirts." "And it looks good on you." "Thanks."

"But your wardrobe is probably not the real problem." "Then what is my real problem?", asks Winry in a frustrated tone. Kimblee answers with a piercing look, before gently pushing her back against the wall of a residential building. When he slowly comes closer, the blonde girl unwillingly starts to shiver.

"What are you doing?", she finally asks in a whisper, when she feels his cold breath on her forehead. "I'm going to force you out of your friend zone", he whispers and is just about to kiss her, when Winry, who has never been kissed before, abruptly turns her head. "I can't...!" Solf rolls his eyes. "I'm sorry, Solf! But it just doesn't feel right!"

"Oh. Are you saving yourself for Elric? How cute." "Hey, I'm not -" "But just so you know. A little bird has told me that your beloved Edward Cullen had been bitten by a female Vampire already." "What...?" "You heard me. And while he's riding the village bicycle, you're still repairing old rusty cars until you'll end up as one old rusty car yourself, one day." "Hey, shut up, already!"

"Make me!", retorts Solf teasingly and comes closer again. But instead of avoiding his piercing look again, Winry just kisses him for a few seconds – which astonishes herself greatly – and then just abruptly removes her lips from his mouth. Kimblee answers with a surprised mien and a smirk, before starting to kiss her this time. Rudely. Winry hesitates a little at first. But then she joins in.

However, just when she is starting to warm up, he suddenly removes his cold lips from her mouth. Winry reluctantly opens her eyes. "What, huh?", she hisses after having beheld his amused grin. "Let's go somewhere else!", decides Kimblee with a conspiratorial smirk. Winry gulps. But for some reason, she does not stop him...

OOO

Almost twenty minutes later, she is lying on her own bed whereas he is sitting on her lap. While kissing her ardently, he is slowly taking down her tracksuit trousers. "Wait!" "Huh?", he asks with an indifferent look. "I'm not ready for... You know...", mumbles Winry sheepishly. "Shhh. Just relax, okay?", he whispers before sliding his hand inside her panties. It feels cold, yet incredibly good.

Her body stiffens immediately and a loud moan is just about to leave her mouth when she suddenly compresses her lips. "It's okay. Just do it", whispers Kimblee into her ear with a naughty smirk on his face. "N-no...!", objects Winry weakly. "Okay. If so, you leave me no choice", he retorts, before starting to touch her _precious pearl_.

"I-I h-hate y-you!", she moans with closed eyes. "Oh, what a mean girl you are", he whispers in a seductive tone while touching her harder this time. Winry is having a really hard time suppressing her moans but she somehow succeeds. However, his wet hand says it all. "Come on, Winry. I know you're enjoying it." "N-no...!", she answers unconvincingly. "Okay, fine. I'll stop."

"NO!", she objects impulsively. Kimblee answers with amused laughter that makes her blush. "As you wish", he whispers before picking up where he left off. But since this is by far not enough, he also starts touching her _norks_ , as her Aussie compatriots would call them. " _Somebody_ has been really generous with you." "Uh-huh", she squeals while still compressing her lips.

"Man, you're such a stubborn thing. Let's see if I'll be able to crack you", he whispers with a strong-willed look before starting to kiss her stomach, her sternum and also her areola. Her back is arching and her legs are fidgeting. Moreover, she is digging her nails into the sheets. Nonetheless, she still manages to suppress her moans. Not for long though.

Winry's moans are slightly different from Lust's. Lust's moans sound ecstatic. After all, everything about her is just ecstatic. Winry's moans, on the other hand, are much softer, yet deeply sensual. Listening to her, is almost driving Kimblee over the edge. But unlike the blonde girl, he is touching at the moment and who is about to _explode_ any minute, he can still contain himself.

No matter how hard she is trying, she just cannot stop herself from moaning, let alone from heating up until she finally climaxes, while lustfully panting: "Dam- _mit_!" "Oh. You don't say, my love", chuckles Kimblee before showing her his wet hand. Winry's only answer is a puzzled look at first. "I'm s-sorry!", she then stammers with a rather embarrassed look.

"Oh, don't be", he retorts with a naughty grin before licking the _juice_ off. "Wow. I knew it." "Knew _what_...?" "Your pussy tastes like Pepsi Cola." Hearing those words, Winry explodes with laughter this time which causes him to smirk amusedly. "You've never touched yourself before, have you?" "Well, I will from now on." "Wow. Good answer", remarks Kimblee approvingly.

"But seriously. I just hope that you don't expect something in return..." "Of course, I do. _Quid pro quo._ Equivalent exchange, in other words." "But -!" "Shhh. You know that you want it too." "Not if it hurts..." "I won't lie to you. It _will_ hurt in the beginning..." While taking off his white shirt and undoing his own belt, he adds with a conspiratorial smirk: "But I know how to mitigate the pain."

"You mean... Right now...?" "Yeah. Unless you want me to jump on another girl's bones?" "NO!", she answers impulsively, while staring at his upper body. "Good answer", whispers Solf with a naughty grin, before taking down his boxer shorts and – in so doing – presenting his manhood. "Holy sh-!" Winry quickly covers her mouth to prevent herself from ending that sentence.

But Kimblee is already laughing amusedly. After his laugh has subsided, he harshly takes down her tracksuit trousers as well as her pants up to her ankles and then just grabs her legs to spraddle them. "Wait! I'm not on the pill! Won't you at least use a condom?" "Oh, come on, Win. I'd make a great father." "Kimblee!", she hisses with bared teeth.

"Shhh. Just relax", he whispers in a tempting tone, before gently removing her white top as well as her neon coral bra completely this time, instead of just pushing both aside as last time. After that, he pushes his palms against the mattress – close beside her shoulders – before starting to slowly penetrate her. Winry compresses her lips and digs her nails into the sheets again.

"Does it hurt yet?" "No... Not yet..." "Good", whispers Kimblee and smirks conspiratorially before covering her mouth with his hand and abruptly breaking through the barrier. Winry almost screams. But not with pain. Rather with shock. And maybe also with pleasure. She cannot explain it but for some reason it just did not really hurt that much.

"Oh. I'm awfully sorry." "No, you're not, _Scheißkerl_." "Oh. You're damn right", he pants while penetrating her slowly. "Dammit, you're so tight", he remarks with an aroused look. "No, I'm not! Your... _Chopper_ is just too thick", moans Winry with closed eyes. "You like it, don't you? You little _Luder_." Winry is outraged.

As a consequence, she spontaneously decides to give him a slap across the face. "Oh, just you wait!", he threatens her with an almost maniac smirk, before pushing her arms against the mattress and speeding up, until the bed frame starts creaking. Even though her moans are growing louder, she still does not sound like Lust. Because Winry's moans are rather high-pitched.

When Kimblee suddenly hears male laughter in the distance, that is announcing the arrival of her flatmates, he immediately eases up again. Moreover, he covers her mouth, just to ensure that nobody can hear her piercing yet animating moans. Unlike Solf, Winry herself has not even noticed her flatmate's return yet.

But instead of ending it – which is something that sensible people would probably do in such a case – Kimblee just carries on as if nothing had happened. Because once he has started something, he always stays the course. Also, he is perfectly aware of the fact that his usual stamina is suffering from Winry's nearly limitless gorgeousness.

" _Winnie? Are you home?"_ , asks her brother. Winry startles and abruptly opens her eyes. But Kimblee just continues penetrating her. She knows that she has to find a way to stop him. However, she just does not want _it_ to stop yet which is why she does not push her guest away. Instead, she announces: "Coming!"

"Me, too", retorts Kimblee with a teasing smirk, even though he is aware that she was just talking with her brother and not with him. "No, you can't come while you're still inside me! You must pull him out beforehand!", whispers Winry hysterically. "I will!", pants Kimblee. "Are you serious?", asks Winry cautiously.

"Hell _nooo_!", he moans while releasing. Winry freezes, her eyes and mouth wide open. "Now we're even", pants Kimblee and collapses onto the bed. "You -!", begins Winry. But instead of giving her the opportunity to ruin the moment, Kimblee just starts kissing her. And Winry is still not being willing to stop him, let alone push him away.

But then: _"Winry, Havoc and I are starving!"_ "Dammit", mutters Solf, after reluctantly having removed his lips and body. "Sorry, it's time to go..." "Okay, just let me get dressed. Otherwise, our encounter will get awkward." Winry cannot believe her ears: "Are you crazy? You're not coming with me!" "Are you expecting me to tie your sheets together and climb out your window or what?"

"Hey, I'll work something out. But until then you'll have to stay here!" "But I'm thirsty!" "Then drink this!", she hisses before handing a can of Pepsi Cola to him. "I don't drink that stuff." "You already did, remember?" Solf is visibly impressed by her repartee. _"Wow... This tastes delicious...!"_ , he remarks inwardly, after finally having taken his first sip...

OOO

In the evening, Edward is walking through his living street, while listening to Lana Del Rey's _Cola_. This song automatically makes him think of Winry. He does not know why but in a way he is feeling guilty about Saturday's happenings. Therefore, he decides to talk with Winry. But beforehand, all of them will have to focus on their exams...


	9. Meet Me In The Pale Moonlight

**IMPORTANT INFORMATION AHEAD:**

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own anything, not the brand names, not the song titles and especially not Fullmetal Alchemist.

 **Content:** Halloween in Amestris, yeah. Enjoy the creepiness (;

 **Holiday:** Please keep in mind that I will not stick to the real holiday-system of the UK.

 **Note/Message:** A few readers have already shared their theories with us. Thank you so much for your participation, other reviews and fav/follows. I am very flattered (:

 **\- Chapter 9: Meet Me In The Pale Moonlight -**

 _ **250 Days left until the secret wedding**_

Autumn is probably the most unpopular season. Nonetheless, it happens to be Scodran Khan's favourite season. Edward Elric and Ivan Envy Bradley do not specifically like season itself but they do like one of its most famous feast days. It is their favourite feast day: Halloween. Edward Elric likes Halloween for many reasons.

When he and Alphonse were younger, _Trick or Treat_ has been their favourite game. And their parents used to like it too. There are times when Trisha realises how much she misses their tours. Back then, she used to sew creative costumes for them and Van Hohenheim has turned their house into a downright spooky castle. A tradition, that his elder son has undertaken after his death.

Even though Scorpio Ivan Envy was born on October 30th, only a few hours before midnight, he rather considers Halloween his real birthday: He mainly loves that day for its dark charisma. Not only does he like to disguise, but also to terrify others. The latter is just one of the many reasons why his brother Selim hates the 31st of October.

As already mentioned, Edward Elric and Ivan Envy Bradley are the biggest fans of that particular day. But this year, there will be someone else. A person who loves Halloween nearly as much as they do: And that person is _D._ alias their anonymous molester. _Trick or Treat_ , costumes, the fear factor – _D._ loves it all and wants it all...

OOO

Three weeks later, almost every shop window and café as well as many gardens and balconies of Amestris are decorated with artificial spider webs, fake blood, skeletons made of plastic, false skulls and bones, bulbous pumpkins with scary grimaces, black coffins made of carton and lots of other creepy stuff.

Edward, Alphonse and their schoolmates have been busy with exams. Trisha, on the other hand, has been occupied with sewing costumes, in addition to her job. And just like every year, her elder son has found the time to help her decorating the house. Like almost every other day in the year, house number 66 is lacking in decoration. Mr Bradley just feels safer when his family lies low...

OOO

It is the Friday before Halloween. Early in the morning, the occupiers of flat 3b are having breakfast together. But Winry Rockbell is merely participating half-heartedly since she is being too busy thinking about her exam around noon. Her flatmates Roy Mustang and Jean Havoc, on the other hand, are talkative as usual.

"A Halloween party?", asks Roy with a surprised look. "Yeah, why not? It's been an age since I threw the last party", argues Jean. Roy raises an eyebrow. "Havoc? Your birthday was on October 3rd. And you even threw a party on my birthday, which is on September 11th. Do you have any idea how embarrassing it is for a New Yorker to celebrate a party on that particular day?"

"Come on, I know you had fun at your surprise party!" "May I remind you that the surprise party wasn't _surprising_ any more after you'd accidentally sent me an invitation? Besides, I know full well that you didn't throw that party for me. After all these years, even you should have caught that I consider birthday parties a waste of time and money. Just like playing or watching football."

"Dammit, Roy! You're such a killjoy! And how dare you? You've just insulted my two favourite hobbies!" "Watching football isn't a hobby. And playing football shouldn't be a one either if you ask me, buddy." "Well, I don't! And you know what else? I'm going to celebrate that Halloween party! And as an American, you must support that idea!" "No, I don't!"

"Boys, please!", intervenes Winry after having rolled her eyes. "I'm sorry, but your brother leaves me no choice." "You know what, Roy? You're absolutely right! I will leave you _no_ choice this time!", announces Jean, before adding: "Besides, I have something in store that will change your mind, anyway!" "Uh-huh. And what would that be?", asks Roy in an indifferent tone...

OOO

"A costume contest?", asks Maes Hughes with a surprised look. At the moment, he is sitting in the staff room with Roy Mustang, Jean Havoc, Rebecca Catalina, Alex Louis Armstrong, Juliet Sloth Bradley, Scodran Khan and Olivier Mira Armstrong. Roy is thoroughly excited. He may not be a fan of parties, but he definitely is a fan of competitions.

And so is Olivier. Therefore, she is also greatly interested in the news, even though she hates Halloween and almost every other feast day even more than Roy does: "What will be my price?" " _Your_ price? Please", snorts Roy. "Shut up, I'm talking with Brad Pitt", retorts Olivier dryly. "That will be a surprise!", answers Jean with a conspiratorial smirk.

"If so, you can definitely count me in. I love surprises!", chuckles Rebecca happily. "Well, I don't. Still, Alex and I will come too", announces Sloth. "Cool", remarks Jean before addressing himself to Maes Hughes and Scodran Khan: "What about you two?" "Hell no", answers Scar dryly. "Why not?", pouts Havoc.

"Come on, Scar! If you don't come, the gang won't be complete! One day, all of us will be gone! Therefore, we should always do our utmost to spend time together!", intervenes Alex, his tone sentimental as always. Scar's face remains characteristically emotionless. But Jean has a surprise else in store: "Well, that's too bad... _Miles_ has already been looking forward to seeing you again..."

Scar does not answer verbally but his attentive look speaks volumes. This causes Jean to smirk triumphantly: "Okay, then. You're totally on the list. What about you, Maes?" "I'd love to come but I can't leave Elicia alone." "She can come too. My sister will be happy to have a friend there", answers Winry's half-brother.

"That's very considerate of you but I don't know if that's such a good idea. This party is meant for adults and my daughter is still so innocent! I mean, she even wants to go trick-or-treating this year! So cute!" "But... Isn't she too old for that?", asks Roy with a judgemental mien. "Selim also plans on going trick-or-treating. But of course he'd always deny it if someone asked", interposes Sloth.

"Same here. It's just so sad. I mean, although they're still kids, they're just too ashamed of kids' stuff", sighs Maes. "Well, the important thing is that they're still innocent! I mean, just think about my sister! All her friends are having boyfriends and girlfriends, but she herself is a sensible girl!", boasts Winry's brother.

"Lucky you", grunts Catherine's older sister. "Oh please, my beloved sister! Catherine is a reputable young lady!", remarks Alex Louis Armstrong reproachfully. "I agree completely", interposes Juliet Sloth Bradley. Olivier Mira Armstrong does not even bother to give her future sister-in-law an answer. Or a look...

OOO

After school, Edward and Winry accidentally bump into each other. "I'm sorry! I just took a test and... Oh... Hey, Ed..." "Hey..." Their first conversation since Lust's birthday party. Or at least a clumsy attempt. "How was your exam...?", asks Ed after a moment of awkward silence. "It was okay. And yours...?" "Same..." "I -", they begin simultaneously. "You first", offers Ed.

"Okay... Um... What are your plans for Halloween...?", she asks shyly. Despite all those weeks of mutual avoidance, she is her old friendly self again. And Ed is glad about it. But then again, he is not: After having recalled the fact that he himself is only being friendly towards her because of his guilt trip, he comes to the conclusion that her kindness must be resulting from _remorse_ too...

OOO

Ling Greed has a theory: "If you ask me, she is cheating on you." At the moment, they are working in the kitchen of the _Dragon's Pulse_. "Are you nuts? We're not in a relationship which means that something like cheating is not even possible!", grunts Edward. "Then why do you care anyway?" "Because... I hate it when my friends lie to me...!"

Ling Greed raises an eyebrow. "You mean like you're doing it at the moment? Come on, just admit it. You're having feelings for her, aren't you?" "No, I ain't! I'm not Alphonse!", hisses Edward. "Right. Your brother isn't such a coward", retorts Greed. "Shut up, Greed", grunts Edward. "Also, he's taller than you."

And just like that, Ed, who has already bared his teeth, suddenly smacks his friend. "What was that for?", asks Ling Greed relaxedly. "You know the answer." "Yeah, whatever. I stick to what I've said. That girl is having sex with someone who's not you." "Why would she do that?" "I don't know. Why did you screw my sister?" "What...? I... Didn't...!"

This time, Ling Greed raises both eyebrows. "Damnit! Who told you that?" "Envy." "Lust promised to keep this a secret!" "Oh, one thing you should know about Lust is that she's an excellent secret-keeper. But Envy isn't. And Lust would never keep something a secret from her beloved brother. They're like Sloth and Selim. Or perhaps even like Lucrezia and Cesare Borgia." "Who...?"

"Man. Don't you ever watch _The Borgias_? That's the best television series ever! Except for _Game of Thrones._ " "Are you kidding? I hate aristocrats! And incest! And... Are you just saying that Envy and Lust...?" "Who knows. The point is that your secret is not safe any more. Therefore, it's possible that Winry found out about it too and just slept with another guy to take vengeance on you."

"You know what? To hell with it! She can do whatever she wants!", answers Edward as convincingly as possible. "Well. If so, you surely wouldn't mind me asking Winry to... You know...?" Another smack. "Okay. I think, I kinda deserved this one", remarks Ling Greed dryly. Edward does not contradict...

OOO

Meanwhile, Trisha is preparing dinner for the Bradley family, when the doorbell suddenly rings: "Mr Hughes!" "Hey! And please, just call me Maes!" "Maes... Come in, I'll inform Mr Bradley!" "Oh no, that won't be necessary! Actually, I came to talk with you, Miss..." "Trish. And how can I help you?", asks Trisha with a warm-hearted smile.

"Well... I hate to ask but will you go trick-or-treating with Selim this year...?" "Not to my knowledge... Why are you asking...?" "Oh, never mind! I just thought that... Whatever, good evening, Trish!" "Maes, please. You can ask me anything! Is it about Elicia...?" "Actually... Yes... You know? My friends are going to throw a Halloween party but Elicia -"

"I can do it!" "Seriously...?" "Of course! No child should have to go without sweets." "But I really don't want to put you out!" "Oh, please. You'd do me a favor! Since Ed and Al became _cool_ , I have nobody to go trick-or-treating with! And to be honest, I kind of miss it..." Maes answers with an inimitably bright smile...

OOO

In the meantime, Sloth is asking her father a favour: "Selim will _hate_ me if he finds out that Alex and I are going to celebrate Halloween at Jean's this year. Unless, you would consent to replace me!" "Well... Actually I was going to ask Trisha -" "Father, please! Trisha is our housekeeper! A stranger, in other words! And if you ask me, Selim is already trusting her way too much!"

"Oh, come on. You're clearly overreacting", remarks King Wrath calmly. "Am I?", asks Sloth with crossed arms. "Because last time I checked, I was the one who has been asked to take care of his essays, his warm _good-night_ -soya milk and his Halloween costume!", she continues. This time, her father does not know what to say...

OOO

Because of an ill teacher, Winry is coming home earlier from school on Monday. Entering her residential building, she bumps into heir neighbour Solf J. Kimblee, who has skipped school. They have not seen each other, let alone talked, since the day he has stolen her virginity. "Hallo, stranger", begins Kimblee.

"Hey", murmurs Winry and is just about to escape, when he suddenly grabs her arm: "Come on, Win. Stop avoiding me, okay?" "I'm not avoiding you..." "Yes, you are! And that's pointless because we're schoolmates, neighbours and – at least according to your words – friends." " _Friends_ , huh?" "Yes." "Do you always bang your friends?" "Well. I haven't banged Ling Greed, yet."

"There he is again! Kimblee, the comedian!" "See? That's what I was talking about! Girls always play the victims! Right now, you're acting like a rape victim! But we both know that you were enjoying it to the fullest!" "No, I wasn't! I'm still having bow legs!", hisses Winry. Kimblee answers with amused laughter.

"Shut up! That's not funny at all! Also, I'm afraid that my flatmate noticed something!" "Who cares? Nowadays, women are allowed to have sex", retorts Kimblee with composure. "Don't talk to me about feminism, okay? Because that's not even the point!" "Then what is the point?" Winry does not answer right away.

But after a while, she finally confesses: "I'm having regrets about everything... I should have waited for the right one... But instead, I just lost my virginity as if it were nothing..." "Wow..." "What?" "That's so... American", remarks Kimblee dryly. "See? That's exactly the problem! You don't even care about my feelings!"

"In my defence – I don't care about anybody's feelings. Nevertheless, I thought that we were friends. Friends who happened to have sex that one time. And speaking of which – what's wrong with that?" "Nothing. But apparently, we are no friends." "Wait, I'm confused! That day; you told me that we were friends. What changed?"

"Well... I realised something. You and I have different expectations in terms of friendship. I need someone who cares about my feelings and you need someone who... Has a vagina." Kimblee does not know what to say. "Solf...? Why don't you say something...?" "What do you want me to say? You're totally right."

"Wow. I guess, that was it then", grunts Winry. "Wow, wait a sec! Are you mad at me or something?" "No!" Kimblee raises an eyebrow. "Then why are you acting so weird?" "Because... You're an idiot!", hisses Winry and then just stomps upstairs without awaiting an answer. "What the hell...?", asks Solf with a bewildered look...

OOO

"Never thought I'd say that but Winry Rockbell is right. You are an idiot", remarks Envy in the afternoon. There are two reasons why Solf prefers to talk with Envy about Winry: Unlike Ling Greed, Envy is not the kind of boy who likes to share pies with his friend. Also, Envy is the one who talked him into all this in the first place.

Just like he is trying to do at that moment: "You have to fix this, mate." "Why?", asks Kimblee nonchalantly, even though he already knows the answer. "Seriously, why is it so important to you to make him suffer?" " _Him_?", asks Envy who is pretending to be clueless. "Edward Elric." "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Liar. Come on, _mate_. I'm not your father which means that I know about your rage for intrigues. Since your sister's birthday party you've been trying to talk me into a relationship with that girl." "And obviously, you're not very hostile to that idea." "Of course, I am. In the beginning, I was merely trying to lay her. But it turned out that she can actually be quite entertaining at times."

"So, what's it to be? You want to be her mate instead of her boyfriend?" "Yeah, why not?" "Go ahead, then." "Too late. For some reason, she's mad at me." "Idiot! She's mad at you because she's falling for you! For fuck's sake. You're such an expert in human nature. However, when it comes to your own business, you suddenly turn into a person with autism."

"That's because my friends are usually rather unchallenging people. But Winry... I don't know. She's such a demanding girl. On the one hand, it's annoying as fuck but on the other hand, it's sort of refreshing too. Like I said, it's entertaining." "I have an idea. Find yourself a hobby." "I love chemistry." "I mean another hobby. You know? A hobby that won't jail you."

"Come on. Your only hobby except for lacrosse is wreaking havoc. You're constantly playing off people against other people." "Which is not a crime!" "Whatever. I won't sleep with Winry only to do you a favour!" "Hey, I don't care _why_ , okay? Only the results matter to me!" "Wow. What an honest man you are", remarks Kimblee sarcastically.

"Oh, I am. But let's talk about you. You want to be her friend? Then show her that you're interested in her personality too. And not just in her curves." "But there's only one way to do it." "What would that be?" "Well, I have to pair her up with Elric." "Wow. That's a clever idea." "I know. But what I don't get is why you don't freak out?"

"Because you won't pair them up for real! You'll just pretend to do it!" "Oh, will I?" "Yes, you will! Come on, Kimblee! Just think about it! Once she and the shrimp become a couple, your friendship will be over! Because after what you two did, our _shorty_ will definitely go to any _lengths_ to hamper your friendship." "I don't have to worry about that because Winry wouldn't breathe a word."

"Well, I will, if I have to", retorts Envy with a shameless grin. Kimblee answers with an amused smirk. "Envy, Envy, Envy. What a serpentine boy you are. I know, I should despise you. But in a way, I just wish that we were gay because your shiftiness can be very delightful from time to time." Envy answers with a naughty smirk...

OOO

Young Amestrians simply admire the Halloween parties at the _Central Library_. This year's theme will be _Quentin in Wonderland_ which means that the guests have to disguise as Tarantino- or _Alice in Wonderland_ -characters. However, Alphonse and May are both too young to go to that party, which is why they are going celebrate somewhere else. The _Central Cinema_ in the Amestris Avenue is organising a horror film night called _Scary Hollywood_.

But since this going to be their first proper date, Al feels obliged to ask Fu's permission first. "Oh, what a gentleman you are! But you didn't need to ask my permission. It's the 21st century, my son. And now, excuse me, please! I have to find a quill and a piece of paper to write your number down because I don't have a mobile phone." Alphonse answers with a puzzled look...

OOO

In the evening, he and May are entering the cinema together. Alphonse is wearing a suit of armour whereas she is wearing a green cap and a bulbous, orange pumpkin-costume. "You look really cute, May!", remarks Al. "Thank you! And you look very... Manly!" Alphonse blushes. But since his helmet is hiding his face, May cannot see it...

OOO

Winry Rockbell – who is wearing a _Black Mamba/The Bride_ -costume – almost bumps into Solf J. Kimblee – who is wearing a _Mad Hatter_ -costume – on the stairs. Both are visibly impressed by each other's creativity. "Oh. _Quentin in Wonderland_ , huh?", asks Solf. "Yes." "Nice costume, by the way." "Thanks. Likewise", answers Winry impersonally. "Thanks." Awkward silence.

"So... Are you going to cab?", asks Kimblee then. "Yes, why?" "Because it's not too late to take your brother's car", he answers. Winry does not know what to say which gives him the opportunity to rise to speak again: "Come on, Win. I owe you a ride." Winry flinches. "A _car_ ride", he quickly adds. Still no answer...

OOO

However, a few minutes later, she is finding herself in her brother's car again. "So? Will Edward Elric be there?", asks Kimblee, the driver, out of the blue. "I guess so. Why are you asking...?" "I'm just curious... You like him, don't you?" "Um... We're friends..." "You don't say." "Hey, I'm telling the truth! And why do you care, anyway?"

"Because you're my friend. And I care about my friends", he answers, without averting his eyes from the street. Seeing Winry's puzzled look from the corner of his eye, he really has to do his utmost to hold back a smirk. "Are you kidding me...?", she asks cautiously. "Nope", answers Kimblee in a nutshell. "But, you said that -"

"Forget what I said, okay? That was nonsense. And if you don't believe me, I can prove it." "How...?" "Well... I could help you with your love matters, for instance." "You mean... You want to play Cupid...?" "Why not?" "I don't know. That's just so _out of character_..." "Tcha, I always have a surprise in store." "That's for sure." "So...? Do you want my help or not?"

"Counter question – what do you want in return?" "I beg your pardon?" "Oh come on! _Equivalent exchange_ , remember?" "Uh, right... If so, I want your friendship." "Are you serious...?" "I am. Now it's your turn to answer." "Well... I guess, a little help would be nice indeed... Because..." "Yes?" "I like Ed... But I don't know if he likes me, too." "Well, there's only one way to find out."

"What way?" "Try to make him jealous." "What? But that's crazy!" "Crazy, yet effective. You shouldn't exaggerate, though. You should rather play _hot and cold_ with him." "Sorry, but my only association at the moment is Katy Perry." "Okay, let me elucidate it then. Edward is one of those overprotective boys", begins Kimblee. "Yes, so?"

"Well. Seeing you around _a bad guy_ , will definitely drive him crazy. He will try to protect you and thus, spend more time with you. _Therefore_..." "Yes...?" "You should never contradict him! On the contrary! You must worship him as your _white knight_. Because if you keep on defending the other guy, he will start to dislike you too." "I see..."

"Yes. So instead of defending the other boy, you should just tell him that you're going to keep an eye on the situation. Also, you should thank him for his care and advice. _But..._ " "Yes...?" "You should still spend time with that other guy. Because otherwise, Edward will see no need to protect you any longer. Do you understand?" "I think so... And you know what?" "What?"

"That idea is totally insane! But it's also downright brilliant!" "Insanity and brilliancy are twins, you know?", retorts Solf. Her laughter makes him smirk. "But there's a problem! My only male friend is Kain and Ed would never consider him dangerous." "Oh, Winry. Sometimes I wonder whether you're really that naïve or whether you're just pretending." Winry answers with an insecure look...

OOO

"Wow. Would you look at that. Did Trisha make it?", asks King Wrath – who is disguised as Dracula – with an impressed mien, while examining Selim Pride's costume. He is wearing a black balaclava and a black bodysuit with numerous black tentacles that are hanging from his back. Each tentacle is plastered with large eyes that are made of carton.

"Yes, but the tentacles and eyes were my idea. This year, I've decided to disguise as something with shadows and eyes. That way, I can look creepy but stay anonymous at the same time." "I'm very impressed. Let's see how impressed our neighbours will be. Shall we?" Selim Pride nods with an excited look in his partly covered eyes...

OOO

Meanwhile, the guests are entering the library. One of the two big rooms resembles _Wonderland_ : The floor is chequered. Also, there are gigantic and artificial fly agarics and flowers everywhere. The interior designers have even recreated the _Mad Hatter's_ table as well as the castle of the _Queen Of Hearts_. The other big room resembles the dojo from _Kill Bill_. Eatable mice, fingers, spiders, worms as well as fuming cocktails in green, red, orange and black serve as food and drinks...

OOO

Ling Greed alias _Vincent Vega_ , Solaris Lust alias _Mia Wallace_ and Ivan Envy alias _Ilosovic Stayne – the Knave of Hearts_ arrive just a few minutes earlier than Catherine alias _Alice_ , Kain alias the _ace of spades_ and Edward alias _Calvin Candie_. "Boys, you two look amazing!", remarks Cat and then just heads for her best male friend to hug him instead of hanging out with Fuery and Ed.

"Wow. She didn't even give us the opportunity to return the compliment", murmurs Kain. Ed chuckles. However, he abruptly stops chuckling when he unexpectedly sees Winry and Solf together in the distance. Winry notices his annoyed look. And since she is not planning on angering Ed – she is merely planning on making him a little jealous – she just ditches Kimblee and heads for them.

"Hey, guys!" After Kain has hugged her, it is Edward's turn to give a warm welcome to Winry. However, warm welcomes have never been his strong point. Therefore, he just grunts: "Hey." But Winry feels positive about his reaction and thus, keeps her smile while remarking: "Wow, you two look very cool!" Kain smiles and returns the compliment: "And so do you."

Instead of agreeing with his friend, Edward just remains silent. Therefore, Winry is having a harder time keeping her smile this time: _"Okay, Winry! Relax! He's probably just jealous!"_ It is only when Cat joins them again, that Winry summons up the courage to address herself to Ed: "Hey, Ed. Would you mind showing me around? I haven't seen this place that often yet."

Lowering her voice, she adds: "Also, I'd like to give _them_ some privacy." "Why is that?", asks Ed. "Because... I think that he might be falling for her...!", answers Winry. She does not know herself whether she is telling the truth or not. Ed, on the other hand, starts getting the impresion that Winry is right, when he sees Kain blush after Cat has tugged at his sleeve. "Sure, let's go", he decides...

OOO

"Wow, Elicia! You look fabulous!", remarks Trisha, who is wearing a nurse-costume with artificial blood on it. Elicia alias _Anna_ , who has just exited her own house, chuckles cheekily before striking a more serious note: "Thank you! And not only for your compliment... But also for your time..." Trisha smiles tenderly, answering: "Come on, let's go, _Anna_!"

OOO

"If I'd known earlier about your costume, I would have disguised as _Elsa_ ", chuckles Trisha a few minutes later. "Wow! You know _Frozen_?" "Yes, I do. Is that your favorite movie?" "Actually, I love almost every _Disney_ film! They are my favourite and -" Elicia abruptly falls silent. "Elicia? Are you okay, sweetheart?" "Unfortunately, no. Do you see what I see?"

Only now does Trisha spot King Wrath Bradley and his son Selim Pride in the distance. Seeing her boss in a Dracula-costume makes her smile. "Come on, let's say hello to them!" "Is that really necessary?", sighs Elicia. "Well, the real _Anna_ would probably do it, so", retorts Trisha with an encouraging smile. Elicia answers with a dry look...

OOO

"I should have known that you're still going trick-or-treating", grunts Elicia while the four of them are walking together a few minutes later. "Shut up, okay? And focus on our competition!" "Tcha, _Bradley_. I don't need to _focus_. I'll win, anyway. I get so many sweets every year that my teeth would hurt until next year's October." "Well, obviously you've never competed with me yet, _Hughes_."

"They are always like that", whispers King Wrath into Trisha's ear. Both of them are walking a few steps behind the two competitors. "But they look so cute together!", remarks Trisha in a whisper, raising an amused laugh from her boss. "I hope you know that I would have asked Selim to join us, if you'd informed me." "Oh, come on. You've already done enough for him..."

"I'd be lying if I said that I didn't have ulterior motives. Sadly, I'm not just doing it for him. I simply have a soft spot for children who still need a mommy." "Wow...", remarks Wrath. Trisha answers with a quizzical look to signalise full attention. "My wife has been a delivery nurse. And she also used to be one of those _mothering_ women. The same goes for Sloth, from time to time."

"And what about you, if you don't mind me asking?" "Well... Truth be told, I've never been that attached to kids. I mean, I do love my children but when I was younger, all I've cared about was my work." "Wow..." This time it is King Wrath, who answers with an attentive look. "Now you're just sounding like Hohenheim..." "So you know him, too?", asks King Wrath with a surprised look.

"Hohenheim was my fiancé's last name..." "Oh, I beg your pardon! I thought, that you were referring to..." "Yes...?" "Nothing. It's just a coincidence. I also happen to know someone named Hohenheim. He's our priest. Therefore, it made sense, when you said that Hohenheim was attached to his work." Suddenly, both of them burst into laughter, that is echoing warmly in the cold night...

OOO

"Are you two friends or something?", asks Ed. "Who?", asks Winry who is pretending to be clueless. "You and your driver." "Oh. Yes, we are. He's very cool. But I wouldn't tell him my biggest secrets, if you know what I mean." Ed answers with a surprised look which unintentionally tells Winry that the strategy, that Kimblee has taught her, is working.

"And... Do you have any common interests...?" This time, Winry does not know what to say until she suddenly comes up with a ready-witted answer: "Actually, I'd rather talk about us..." " _Us..._?" "Yes... I mean... Are we friends, Ed...?" "What...? I mean, of course! We're totally friends!" "Really...?", asks Winry cautiously.

"Yeah! And you know what? As your friend... I owe you an advice. I know guys like him... They spell trouble!" Winry nods silently. "And...", she then mumbles. "Yeah...?", asks Edward attentively. "What kind of boy are you...?", she asks sheepishly. This time it is Edward who does not know what to say.

But when the DJ suddenly starts playing Lana Del Rey's _Meet Me In The Pale Moonlight_ , he spontaneously asks: "Wanna dance...?" At that very instant, Winry is having a hard time suppressing an earpiercing squeal. "Sure!", she tweets. She is almost sounding like May. Edward nods, also sheepishly. This is going to be their first dance...

OOO

"Oh. They look so cute together, don't they?", whispers Lust in her typical seductive tone when she notices Solf's unenthusiastic look. "Oh, Lust. You look hot as _hell_. Just like always", he remarks after promptly having switched into gentleman-mode. "Oh... And yet you're staring at _The Bride_." Instead of giving her an answer, he just asks an unexpected question: "Where's your lover, huh?"

Lust's teasing look immediately turns into a rather nervous one. "Um... He's having other plans tonight." "I see. And do I know my successor?" "I-I don't think so!", she stutters. " _Y-you d-don't_?" Since Lust does not know what to say, she just fakes a phone call. "Excuse me, my phone..." "Of course", answers Solf with a mocking smirk. _"What a cheap trick, Lusty"_ , he chuckles inwardly...

OOO

Edward is enjoying the dance with Winry to the fullest, and so is she. But then, he suddenly gets a text. "One sec!", he mutters before checking his smartphone. Winry does not object since she is convinced that the message is from Alphonse. "I'll buy us drinks, okay?" "Thanks", answers Ed half-heartedly. Winry nods before heading for the bar.

Meanwhile, he is reading the following message: _"What a shame on you! You can't just keep ignoring your Queen Of Hearts!"_ Ed starts darting about like mad until he finally spots an unrecognisable person in a _Q.O.H.-_ costume. And just like that, he forgets Winry and starts running square for his stalker. The cat-and-mouse game has begun. But the roles have not been cast yet...


	10. Serial Killer

**IMPORTANT INFORMATION AHEAD:**

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own anything, not the brand names, not the song titles and especially not Fullmetal Alchemist.

 **Content:** There will be a lemon as well as quite disturbing moments in this chapter.

 **Character:** The person in the _Queen Of Hearts_ -costume is _D._ (do not take the gender for granted, though. _D._ could still be a man). However, there will be a second person (wearing a _White Rabbit-_ costume) who will also be of importance. God knows who that person is (;

 **Costume:** Selim's costume is an allusion to Brotherood-Pride's shadows. Scodran's costume will be an allusion to the scene where Brotherhood-Scar kills my beloved Rockbells :( Also, Alphonse's Halloween costume is the same armour that we know from the series. The _Queen Of Hearts_ -costume, on the other hand, is inspired by Pretty Little Liars.

 **\- Chapter 10: Serial Killer -**

In the meantime, the guests in 3b are having a good time, as well. The menu is as _halloweenish_ as the costumes are: Host Jean is wearing a skeleton-costume whereas his flatmate is dressed like a gynaecologist in the aftermath of a very bloody surgery. Maes looks extremely creepy in his evil clown-costume whereas Rebecca, who is disguised as a cat, looks rather hot in her black latex suit.

It is only when Alex alias _Frankenstein's monster_ and Sloth alias the _Bride of Frankenstein_ walk through the door that Roy understands that he and Olivier are not the only one who are interested in the price. Especially Juliet's creativity impresses the others. After all, she usually is not the kind of woman who dares to ruin her own prettiness.

Despite his indifference to the costume contest, Scar's scrapped mummy-costume ironically impresses the other guests too. "Oh, come on. Just admit it. You're hot for the price, aren't you?", whispers Miles, who is wearing a bat costume, with a teasing smirk. "Yeah. Totally", retorts Scar in an ironic tone. "Whatever. Where's our friend Olivier?", asks Miles rather cautiously this time.

"I don't know. We haven't talked that much, lately." "How come? Did you insult Elijah Wood's acting skills or did she insult Tupac Shakur or even Michael Jackson? Wait no, she would never insult Michael, would she?" "She wouldn't. And don't you act as if you didn't know about it." "About _what_? I swear, I have no idea what you're talking about!" "Wait, are you serious?" "I am!"

"So, you don't even know who my flatmate is?" "You've found a flatmate?" "Yes, I have. Solf J. Kimblee." Miles answers with a puzzled look. "Oh my... She actually didn't tell you...!" "Like I said, she didn't. But why didn't you, either?", asks Miles in a slightly reproachful tone. "Come on, not you too." "Hey, this guy blew up my car!" "And he's more than sorry about it!" "Really, huh?"

All of a sudden, the others start applauding which means that another guest must have arrived. This time, it is one of the _Black Riders_ of _The Lord of the Rings_. Olivier Mira Armstrong, in other words. "Wow. She even looks hot when she's wearing this", remarks Miles Lowe. His best friend Scodran Khan does not answer him...

OOO

Meanwhile, Edward alias _Calvin Candie_ is roaming around the currently unpeopled higher storeys of the library. At that moment, he is so busy stalking the mysterious _Queen Of Hearts_ that he does not notice at all, that someone else is stalking him for several minutes now. And that someone is wearing a _White Rabbit_ -costume.

Suddenly, he is getting another message from the _Queen Of Hearts_ : _"Take a break. You'll see more of me around midnight."_ Edward groans. It is always the same dilemma: On the one hand, he appreciates his hunger for knowledge but on the other hand, he hates himself for being that impulsive and weak.

Only now does he recall his dance with his dream girl Winry, all of a sudden. "Damnit!", hisses Edward and turns on his heel. He can barely remember where he has seen her the last time. However, he is determined to find her. But that is, until someone suddenly covers his mouth from behind before dragging him away...

OOO

"Are you looking for _him_ , my dear?", asks Solaris Lust alias _Mia Wallace_ with a teasing smirk. Winry does not answer right away. Instead, she glances at the two drinks in her own hands. "Why are you asking?", she finally asks in a snappy tone. "Because four eyes see more than two. Especially when you're seeing things through rose-coloured glassed."

"Hey, Lust. Why don't you just leave me alone and find yourself a hobby for tonight? I think I saw a pole somewhere." "Oh, Winry! I had no idea! You can actually be funny!" "And you can actually wear _unslutty_ clothes!" "Oh, dear. Nice try but slut-shaming won't intimidate me. First of all, this word is an anagram to my name. Also, I'm not ashamed of my vagina."

"Are you just referring to that baggy whole between your legs?", retorts Winry. "Wow. That was a tough one. But I have something better in store." "Really, huh?" "Hell, yes", hisses Lust before suddenly grabbing Winry's drinks and throwing them at her. Winry is shocked and so are Greed, Solf, Cat, Kain and a few other guests who have just coincidentally witnessed everything.

"Oops!", whispers Lust into her ear, a mocking smirk on her face. That is definitely overkill: Without warning, Winry gives her a slap across the face. The bystanders – except for Greed who is smirking amusedly – are being shocked. That must have been the first time that someone has ever dared to touch Lust in a violent manner. BDSM excluded.

After Solaris Lust has slapped her back, Winry just jumps at her, furiously. For the next few seconds, they are wrestling on the floor of the fake dojo. "Guess who screwed me in my car!", hisses the black-haired killer into the blonde killer's ear. "Guess who fucked me in my bed!", retorts Winry after she has digested the news.

"Okay, ladies. Enough", announces Kimblee with composure, before relaxedly dragging Winry away, despite her heavy kicking and struggling. "You're so pathetic!", hisses Lust spitefully, after she got up. "Shut up, _Schlampe_!", shouts Winry right before she and Solf vanish behind the curtain. Meanwhile, Ling Greed is being disappointed by the abrupt ending of the entertaining show...

OOO

In the meantime, Edward is being busy with his own, private wrestling match against the _White Rabbit_. If he had not already seen Envy in a different costume today, he would have suspected him. So far, Ed has not managed to unmask the culprit. "Damnit!", he hisses angrily before making another try at removing the mask, but to no avail.

As a result of God knows how many Karate lessons, Edward somehow manages to shove the _White Rabbit_ so hard that he or she dashes against of one the shelves. He or she gets up as quickly as possible, but Ed yet manages to push his or her back against the shelf. But just when he is about to unmask him or her, the _White Rabbit_ suddenly pushes his back against the opposite shelf this time.

"Who are you?", asks Edward with bared teeth. The _White Rabbit_ does not answer. Instead, he or she just spins the blond boy around so that his stomach and not his back is being pushed against the shelf this time. Edward struggles hysterically but to no avail. His opponent is taller and apparently stronger, as well.

" _Shhh"_ , whispers an indefinable voice into his ear before suddenly holding a knife to his throat. And just like that, Edward stops moving. "Who are you...?", he repeats. But this time not in an aggressive but rather in a frightened tone, that is definitely out of character. At least from most people's perspective. "What do you want from me...?", he asks, again in the same tone. Silence.

This is not just terrifying. It is also frustrating in a way. It is only when the _White Rabbit_ brushes his ponytail aside in order to kiss his nape that Edward finally understands. "No...!", he whispers almost soundlessly. "Stop it!", he commands, rather vigorously this time. But apparently, that was a very bad idea.

Shamelessly, the _White Rabbit_ starts undoing Edward's belt now. After he or she has taken down his or her own trousers and boxer shorts, Edward starts struggling even heavier, but again to no avail. The victim can already smell the rust of the culprit's knife. Things are in a bad way which is why Edward opens his mouth to scream out.

However, he freezes restlessly when he suddenly feels a cold and wolfish hand under his shirt, that is touching his stomach, then his ribs and then his chest. Ed jumps to the conclusion that this hand belongs to a woman. This _skilful_ hand, as his gradually hardening penis proves. _"_ _Shit, damnit...!"_ , he mutters inwardly. Another kiss on his nape. But this time, it rather resembles a suction.

That cold, wolfish and skilful hand is now slowly moving southwards until it abruptly grips Ed's manhood. Consequently, his erection is hardening all the more. And when his tormentor starts moving his or her hand up and down, Ed instantly compresses his lips to suppress a probably very loud moan. At that point, he does not even notice that the knife has already disappeared.

After all, the _White Rabbit_ is needing both hands at that moment. One hand to stimulate Edward's erection and the other one to undo his or her own belt. Hearing that sound, Ed startles immediately. _"Shhh"_ , whispers the anonymous _he_ into his ear. And Edward, who is usually not the most submissive person, just obeys for some inexplicable reason.

This gives his tormentor the opportunity to penetrate him inch by inch. Edward's golden eyes as well as his mouth are widening increasingly. His body is shivering and stiffening at the same time. It is only when the _White Rabbit_ abruptly grasps the shorter boy's clear-cut jaw that he starts fidgeting again. But this does not prevent the tormentor from licking his victim's lips with relish.

That, in combination with the additional stimulation of his penis and that one erogenous zone around his gluteal region, he has never considered before, are so overkill: Ed cannot suppress his moans any more. But not only that: Driven by an indefinable force, Ed suddenly pulls his tormentor by his tie and sticks his tongue into his mouth, while his tormentor is still _penetrating_ him.

The victim's unexpected move suddenly animates the tormentor to push him harder against the shelf before speeding up his own movements. His hand around Edward's stone-hard manhood is also working faster now. Both of them are moaning excessively into each other's mouths. Ed's moans are a mixture of sensual _aahs_ and swearwords.

At that point, it is unclear who is who. Who is the culprit and who is the victim. The line between them is thinner than ever before. The only difference being that one of the boys is actively penetrating someone whereas the other boy is not. But Edward, who is usually quite active and bossy, does not bother at all.

On the contrary: What had started as a violation turned out to be the most pleasurable experience of lust in his life so far. In the closing minutes, the other boy stops to French-kiss him unrestrainedly, in order to gnaw at Edward's neck and ear lobe instead. Ed rolls his eyes with relish while pounding wildly against the already shaking shelf.

"You god-damned bastard!", he hisses before relaxedly throwing his head back and: "Fuck _nooo._..!" And that was it. For both of them. Therefore, the tormentor pulls his manhood out and removes his hand from his victim's subsiding erection. Meanwhile, Edward is pushing his palms against the shelf while breathing hard.

Suddenly, the _White Rabbit_ spins the shorter boy around and pushes his back and his arms against the dark wood this time. That way, Ed cannot unmask him, which gives him – the tormentor – the opportunity to kiss his victim goodbye. In a little softer manner this time. After that, the stranger vanishes immediately and thus leaves a total mess behind. And Edward is a also part of that mess...

OOO

The two guests, that have not arrived yet, are entering flat 3b just a few minutes before midnight: Witch Riza and the blood-spattered baseball player Breda. Heymans does not play baseball but his favourite hobby is to watch it on TV. One thing he does not love that much is Halloween. But when Jean invited him and his friend Riza in the afternoon, he just agreed on a whim.

Seeing Breda around _her_ , causes Roy to knit his brows. "Hey, Havoc! What is _he_ doing here?" "Well, you asked me to invite Riza, so I did. But he's been with her at that moment, so", explains Jean. Roy raises an eyebrow. "Come on, Roy. I know you're a routinist but just try to give him a chance, okay? He's cool." Roy does not answer right away...

OOO

In the meantime, Solf is heading for the ladies' toilet to meet Winry there. Somehow, she has managed to wash out the green colour of the two drinks that had been thrown at her. Not completely but at least for the most part. Either way, the colour of humiliation remains. "Much better", remarks Kimblee with composure after she has exited the ladies' cloakroom. "Come, I'll drive you home."

"No way! I haven't killed that beast yet! But I will!", she hisses with a withering look. "My arse. You've already tried that one, remember?" "Then I'll try it again! I'm stronger than her!" "That's for sure. But you don't have to be strong to win that battle. You have to be ruthless." "I can be ruthless too!" "No, you can't. Because you're a good girl", retorts Kimblee. This raises a smile from Winry.

Right before he can return her smile, Ling Greed, who just came out of nowhere, interrupts them unexpectedly: "Oh! There you are! It took me forever to find you!" Kimblee discreetly rolls his eyes. Winry, on the other hand, is confused: "Why, what happened?" Ling Greed raises an eyebrow: "My sister made you wet, remember? And I'm here to apologise."

Winry blushes immediately. "But it's not your fault!" Kimblee rolls his blue eyes again. "Yes it is. But I'll make it up to you! From now on, I'll ensure that she won't bother you again!", announces Ling Greed. "How...?", asks Winry with a curious mien. Solaris Lust's older brother answers with a conspiratorial smirk...

OOO

After Ling Greed got his sister drunk, both of them head for the podium. "Now what?", chuckles Lust tipsily. "What a silly question! We're _Vincent Vega_ and _Mia Wallace_! Which is why we're going to dance now!" Solaris laughs amusedly. "Do you know the choreography?", asks Greed while taking off his shoes. "Yes!", answers Lust while taking off her own shoes.

Ling Greed nods and gives a signal, while the crowd is coming closer. The DJ raises his thumb before starting to play the exact same song that is being played during _Vincent Vega's_ and _Mia Wallace's_ famous dance scene in _Pulp Fiction_. Ling Greed and his sister Solaris Lust know the entire choreography inside out. The audience is beyond impressed and also amused.

" _My_ sister would never do that", pouts Catherine. "Lucky you", retorts Envy dryly, before discreetly addressing himself to Kimblee, who is standing next to him: "How is it going?" Kimblee darts a glance at Winry, who is enjoying the show along with Kain and Edward. "I'm working on it", he answers after that, his smirk naughty. And Envy returns that smirk.

After their little dance interlude, Ling Greed and Solaris Lust take each other's hand and take a bow while the audience is applauding loudly. "Not bad, Bradley", remarks Ling Greed and winks naughtily. "Likewise, Bradley", retorts Solaris Lust and winks too. After that, both of them decide to go off the stage together.

All of a sudden, the lights go off at the very same moment when Lust and Greed are about to move. The crowd screams with horror. Most of the guest think that this is just a Halloween stunt that the organisers are pulling off. However, Edward, who has just nervously checked the time, is expecting the worst. The lights go on again. But this time, the crowd screams even louder.

Because suddenly, a long and thick cord is hanging from the ceiling. Its end is wrapped around the neck of a child-sized and blood-spattered porcelain doll without eyes and with a knife in its back. The guests, except for the horrified Bradley-siblings, instantly whip their cameras out. Meanwhile, Ed is reading the text, he just got: _"I told you, you'd see more of me. Happy Halloween. Kisses, D."_

OOO

"How did that happen?", asks Lust, after she and her siblings have entered the second storey to have some privacy. Little do they know that Edward, who has decided to follow them after he had coincidentally witnessed their secretive leaving, is now hiding behind the shelves. "Leaving creepy messages in our house is one thing. But this...?", adds Lust, who is still shaking.

Unlike her, Ling Greed keeps calm: "Come on, don't worry. Everyone thought that this was just a show." "Maybe this time! But _D._ already broke into our school and contacted some of the people we know!", whispers Solaris Lust hysterically, before taking a deep breath. "Boys, we have to go to the police! Immediately!"

"Are you nuts? They would _end_ us!", hisses Envy. "Why? We haven't done anything wrong!", answers Lust. Envy rolls his eyes, before answering: "Yes, we have. And -" His sister and his older brother answer with quizzical looks. "What's wrong, Envy?", asks Lust with a rather frightened mien this time. "Nothing, I'll be right back. Just have to call somebody", fibs Envy and sneaks off.

His siblings shrug before continuing with their discussion. For a moment, Edward has been afraid that Envy had noticed his presence. And when someone suddenly seizes him by the collar before shoving him so hard that he lands in front of Lust's and Greed's feet, he realises that he was right to be afraid. Therefore, Edward just swears instead of sighing with relief: "Damnit..."

Ling Greed raises an eyebrow. "Hallo there, mate. What are you doing here?", he then asks relaxedly. Ivan Envy, the only person who has caught Edward eavesdropping, snorts before answering: "Your _mate_ has been spying on us." "No, I haven't!", fibs Ed through gritted teeth. "Yes, you have! _Pipsqueak_!", hisses Envy.

"Enough! Both of you!", intervenes Solaris, while Ling Greed is seizing Edward, who has just been about to attack Envy, by the collar. "Just tell us what you want in return for your secrecy, my dear", adds Lust, this time in her typical seductive tone. "Hey, stop talking like a Mafia don, okay? I won't cause you any trouble!", clarifies Edward. "Then what do you want?", hisses Ivan Envy.

"Honest answer? I want it to stop!", grunts Ed. Greed raises a brow, retorting: "Define _it_." "The calls, the messages, the stupid costumes! All that!", answers Ed with an annoyed mien. "Wait a sec! What costumes?", asks Lust with a confused mien. " _D._ was here tonight. According to his or her texts, he or she has been wearing a _Queen Of Hearts_ -costume. But I couldn't unmask... It."

"So you failed? That's so you", hisses Ivan Envy with crossed arms. "Okay, one more thing. I want you to stop messing with my friends! All of you! But especially you, Envy!" "Calm down, okay? Catherine has already told me to leave the four-eyes alone." "Speaking of Fuery. He found out that _D._ used the computers of this library to write mails."

"Wait, you told him about that?", asks Solaris Lust, who is obviously not very happy. "I had precious little choice! He's the only IT genius, I know", argues Edward before adding: "But since it didn't help anyway, we need another idea to bust that bitch." "One sec! What do you mean by _we_?", asks Ivan Envy this time.

"What do you think? I'm going to help you, jackass!", answers Edward through gritted teeth. "Why? If it weren't for us, you wouldn't even be in this situation", interposes Ling Greed. "Besides, we treated you like dirt. And your mother. Well, I did. Greed was too busy driving you around and Lust... With Lust." "Shut up, Envy", snort the three of them in unison. Envy rolls his eyes.

"But I mean it, Envy! If you want me to help you, you'll have to contain yourself! And you too, Lust! Bad enough that you told _him_ about us! But what you did to Winry is even worse! Also, the way you treat my mom is totally unacceptable! Seriously, what's wrong with you guys?" This time it is Solaris Lust's turn to roll her eyes.

"Okay, you know what? You're totally right about the mum-thing! But Winry is a different story!", she hisses. "Not any more!", clarifies Edward. "Oh, really, my handsome boy?", whispers Solaris Lust in her typical seductive tone again. "Yes! You know what? Do whatever you want, I don't care, as long as you leave my family and friends alone!"

"What if we decide to counteract?", asks Envy with a mocking smirk. "In that case, I'll tell the police what I know. That might not be much but enough to get their attention!" Ling Greed answers with a theatrical applause. "Wow, I'm sorry to say that blackmailing looks better on you than I thought", remarks Lust in her seductive tone and strokes his shoulder gently.

" _Damnit!"_ , mutters Ed inwardly. However, he is carrying it off well. "You know that I'm not the kind of person who'd do something like that. But I'm afraid, you leave me no choice. So again – leave my family and friends alone! In return, I'll keep your secret! Also, I'll do my utmost to unmask that bitch! Together _with_ you and _without_ the cops! Deal?" The others do not answer...

OOO

"Wow! That was creepy as hell!", remarks Winry on their drive home. "So that's why you wanted to leave the party earlier than planned?", asks Kimblee with an amused smirk. "No...! Well... Maybe yes. But that wasn't the only reason." "So... I guess, you didn't find him then?" "Nope. But right now, I'm not worrying about him, I'm worrying about my other friend." "Fuery?"

"Yes! I mean, why did he leave that early? If he'd stayed a little longer, he could have come with us!" "Well, I suppose that he's just not that into parties and stuff." "I bet that Catherine is the reason." "Armstrong?" "Yes... I think he's falling for her. But she keeps hanging out with that stupid palm tree." "Come on. Envy is cool."

"Yeah, totally. Whatever, I feel sorry for my best friend." "No, you don't. You're rather pitying yourself." "Kimblee!" "What? That's a fact." Winry sighs. "Maybe you're right..." "Am I, huh?" "Yes... I mean, I've never been the kind of girl who'd fight over guys. But when Lust told me that she and Ed... I don't know..."

Winry pauses before finally confessing: "For some reason, that _really_ hit home." "Relax, Win. She probably just made it up to provoke you." "Come on. We both know that she didn't make it up..." "Okay... If so, what are you going to do now?", asks Kimblee while he is parking the car. Winry does not answer right away...

OOO

After they got out of the car, Winry suddenly changes the subject: "Isn't it annoying? I mean, we always talk about me and never about you!" "Yes, but that's totally fine by me. I don't have anything to talk about anyway, so." "But I barely know you!" "What do you want to know?" "Um, well... What's your favourite band?"

"Rammstein. But I also like classical music a lot." "Is that true?" "Yes." "Wow, okay... What's your zodiac sign?", asks Winry next. "Seriously, Win?" "Oh, come on!", she pouts. "Okay, fine. Gemini." "Wow. That would explain your two faces", she remarks. Solf does not answer verbally. Instead, he just raises an eyebrow.

It is only when they enter the residential building, that they can hear the loud music. "Looks like the party isn't over yet", remarks Kimblee. "Hell no. I'm really not in the mood for binge drinking with our teachers", groans Winry. "You can come over to my place, if you like", offers Kimblee nonchalantly.

Winry does not know what to say. "Um... Thanks... But...", she stammers then. "Oh, come on. I can contain myself if you can", retorts Kimblee and winks naughtily. "You're horrible!", remarks Winry and pouts. However, she just cannot hold back a cheeky chuckle. Solf J. Kimblee's smirk is widening increasingly...

OOO

Almost ten minutes later, both of them are lying on his bed, wearing nothing more than their underwear. This time, however, Winry is sitting on his lap and not vice versa. At the moment, she is enjoying his kisses as well as his skilful hands. It is only when he is about to take down her panties, that she instantly ends their dangerous game: "Wait!"

"What?", asks Kimblee in a slightly irritated tone. " _What?_ I won't allow you to penetrate me without a condom!" "Still not on the pill?" "Still not on the pill." "Well... If so...", begins Kimblee with a conspiratorial smirk before spontaneously spinning Winry around. As a result of this, she is lying prone now.

"Hey, are you crazy? You're not in prison, any more!" "Oh, come on. Your bottom is divine! The Lord gave it to you for a reason!" "Okay, first of all – you don't even believe in God!" "I do, whenever I see your _delicious_ bo-" "Shut up! Second – what the hell is wrong with you? Everybody uses frangers!" "Sorry, I don't speak Australian." "That means condom, you drongo!"

"Come on, don't be such a killjoy. Just give it a shot, it won't kill you." "But Cat says that it hurts!" "Oh, I see. And did Cat also tell you why?" "What do you mean?" "What I mean is that Cat is getting laid by Envy Bradley." "What...?" "You heard me." "But -" "And we both know how sadistic Envy can be. Therefore, it's hardly surprising that she said that. But I'm not Envy, am I?"

"No, but -" "Shhh. It won't hurt. At least not in a bad way. You have my word", he whispers in a tempting voice into her ear while taking down her panties. "Wait a sec!" "What's wrong?", asks the blonde girl immediately. "Please tell me you changed your mind!", she quickly adds with a hopeful look in her blue eyes.

"Oh no, my love. But I just noticed something weird. It's Halloween and you're not wearing a costume any more." "Hell no." " _Here_ , put _this_ on!", he whispers with a naughty smirk while handing the head of a _White Rabbit-_ costume over to her. "You can't be serious!" "Come on. Do it for me." This time Winry does not object. After all, she just cannot say no to him...

OOO

In the meantime, Edward is sitting in Ling Greed's car again, and so are Solaris Lust and Ivan Envy. The radio is playing Lana Del Rey's song _Serial Killer_. After a while, the only woman in the car decides to break the silence: "If you ask me, it wasn't that clever to leave the party just a few minutes after that doll-action..."

"Well, _if you ask me_ , it wasn't clever to go there at all. Whenever we're in public, _D._ will be tempted to make fools of us. Also, I'm still thinking that we shouldn't trust the shrimp." "I can hear you, asshole!", grunts Ed who is sitting next to his enemy. "Sorry. Force of habit", hisses Envy with a mocking smirk. Ed rolls his eyes, while Greed is turning into their living street.

Suddenly, all of them start with fright: Number 15 in the Xerxes Grove is gone. It has been burnt down. "No...!", murmurs Edward. "NO!", he then repeats rather vigorously before instantly getting out of the car and rushing off. "Thank God!", exclaims Trisha and sighs with relief before flinging her arms around her son's neck. "Why didn't you answer my calls? I was worried sick, Edward!"

"Mom! What happened? Where's Al?" "Don't worry, your brother is fine! Nobody got hurt!" "But our house..." "I know, honey... I know...", murmurs Trisha before addressing herself to a fireman who has just interrupted them and is now asking for a private conversation with her. Edward would usually object, but not at that moment.

Because suddenly, he himself as well as Solaris Lust, Ling Greed and Ivan Envy, who have followed him, are getting the same message: _"Congratulations! Now you can finally be a real family! You're welcome! Kisses, D."_ _Pure horror_ does not even begin to describe the look in their eyes at that very moment...


	11. Diet Mountain Dew

**IMPORTANT INFORMATION AHEAD:**

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own anything, not the brand names, not the song titles and especially not Fullmetal Alchemist.

 **All Hallows' Day:** Where I come from, this special day is a feast day. Therefore, the schools in Amestris will also be closed on November 1st.

 **Allusion:** Olivier's and Roy's fight over the assistant headmaster's position is an allusion to Brotherhood-Olivier's and Brotherhood-Roy's fight over BH-Bradley's position. Also, do you remember the moment when Brotherhood-Envy commands Brotherhood-Bradley to kill BH-Roy after he has burnt BH-Lust alive? Keep that one in mind, there will be an allusion to it in this chapter. Speaking of burning: Remember how BH-Edward and BH-Alphonse burnt down the Elric house? The latest event in my fanfic is an allusion to that. But do not worry. That was the first and the last house _D._ will have burnt down (;

 **Location:** The pub that will be appearing in this chapter, is the one from the series. 2003-Maes and 2003-Roy are having drinks there.

 **Note/Message:** I love you, my dear readers and followers! And I also love your theories! Not only are they clever, but also entertaining! So thank you very much! (:

 **\- Chapter 11: Diet Mountain Dew -**

A few hours later, all six members of the Bradley family as well as all three members of the Elric family are sitting in the living room of the Bradley house to discuss the situation. At the moment, it is organisational talent Sloth's turn to speak: "I'd say that Trisha should sleep in our guest room and the boys can have my bedroom. I've also talked with Alex and Olivier. They even offered to accommodate you but _father_ thought it would be more convenient for you just stayed here."

"I don't know what to say...", murmurs Trisha sheepishly. "Oh, please! That goes without saying!", interposes King Wrath. "I'm very thankful for your offer but I think, I cannot accept this...", answers the housekeeper quietly. For the first time, Ling Greed is on his father's side: "Hey, come on, Trish. You'd finally give me the opportunity to live with people I don't despise. Don't ruin that."

"Watch your mouth!", commands his father. "Can't you just sleep in my bedroom, Miss?", asks Selim who is still shaking. "Wow. Easy, young boy", interposes Ling Greed. Alphonse, on the other hand, is so touched by Selim's request that he spontaneously offers: "I can sleep in your bedroom, if you like. Ed talks in his sleep, you know?"

"Hey, Al. _Ed_ is sitting next to you, you know?", hisses Ed. However, the others cannot hold back an amused laugh. "All right. Was that it?", asks King Wrath, after Selim has gladly agreed to Al's idea. Trisha discreetly darts a friendly-reprehending glance at her elder son. And Ed is quick on the uptake: "Um, Sloth? You don't need to move out. I can also sleep in the guest room."

"Don't be silly, mate. You can sleep in my room, of course", offers Greed. Envy discreetly rolls his eyes in reaction to that. Juliet Sloth, on the other hand, is secretly thankful for that idea. Because no matter how much she likes the Armstrong mansion, she just does not feel like living under the same roof as Olivier. Also, she would like to keep an eye on the situation in her own house...

OOO

One day later, Winry is repairing someone else's vehicle again. She is doing it regularly to make some extra money. But this time, it is Mr Hughes' bicycle, a collateral damage of yesterday's house fire. Maes' favourite hobbies are reading crime novels and bicycling. And since he and Elicia are two of Winry's best friends, he does not have to pay her for her services. None of her friends does.

"It's awful...", remarks May in a sad tone while handing a cloth to Winry. "We should offer help", interposes Kain. "You could lend them clothes!", answers May. Kain nods. "I've already prepared two boxes. Ed may be short but we probably wear the same size." "But what are they going to do now?", asks Winry with a worried look.

"Alphonse says that they're already looking for a flat... God, I wish that 1b and 2a were free...", pouts May. "Why? Aren't they?", asks Kain with surprise. "Roy left a message on our landlord's mailbox. But we already know for sure that 2a isn't free any more", answers Winry. "If so, let's hope that 1b is! I mean, wouldn't it be cool if they were our neighbours?", warbles May euphorically.

Kain agrees immediately. Winry, on the other hand, just sighs discreetly. "I'll be right back", she announces then. May and Kain nod and change the subject after that, while Winry is heading for the residential building. What she needs is a toilet or a bucket. Because somehow, her favourite smell, the smell of oil, is nauseating her lately...

OOO

Meanwhile, Kimblee is heading for his kitchen. However, when he suddenly sees Miles of all people sitting at the kitchen table, he promptly halts. "Look who's there. Solf Julius Kimblee." "Mr Lowe." "Oh, you have new tattoos now? They look different." "Yes. And so do a lot of things", retorts Solf. "That's what they told me."

"Good. Well, I'm going to enter the kitchen now, if you don't mind." "Don't be silly. This is your home now. At least, until..." Kimblee, who has already turned his back on Miles, answers with a quizzical look. But Miles cannot see it. "You'll show your true colours, again." His former student gulps, as discreetly as possible.

But then he quickly puts a confident smirk on his face, turns around and retorts: "You would think that people who lecture cultural studies at university and are interested in almost every human ethnicity weren't that prejudice-ridden." Cultural studies indeed happen to be Miles' favourite hobby. Also, his favourite films are documentaries about cultures around the world.

Therefore, Kimblee definitely hit a nerve: "Shut up, Kimblee!" Miles instantly lowers his voice before he continues: "And listen to me carefully! Scar isn't just some random friend! He's like a brother to me! And nobody harms him!" Kimblee does not answer right away. Because secretly, he is sort of intimidated at that precise moment.

But moments like these never last for long: "Is that so, Mr Lowe? Because as far as I know, you hurt him first. I mean, weren't you the one who left him, just like that, huh?" Miles is speechless. This causes Kimblee to smirk triumphantly before he exits the kitchen. He won the battle. But for some reason, Solf just does not feel like a winner...

OOO

"That's it, I hate Halloween!", announces Ivan Envy, who is relaxedly lying in Catherine's whirlpool at the moment. Or maybe not that relaxedly. Cat rolls her eyes. "Don't be silly, Envy. They lost their house, but all you care about is that you have to share a storey with Ed for a couple days." "That's rich, coming from you, princess. You can't even share a bloody _mansion_ with your sister."

"Because my sister is a downright bitch! She even made my brother cry just because he won the costume contest and a dinner-for-two as a price, dammit! Ed, on the other hand, is my friend!" "Okay. If so, I'm willing to shift. You can have my room and I'll sleep in one of yours instead. Because I actually like your sister."

"Nice try. But I have another idea! You stay in your house and I'll stay in mine! But I'll take Ed and you can have my sister!" Envy rolls his eyes. "I thought, at least you wouldn't be falling for that _person_." "Come on, I'm just kidding, okay? Well, except for the _you-can-have-my-sister_ -part." "Really, huh?", he asks with a sceptical look.

"Oh yes. Maybe I'm just traumatised by my sister or whatsoever. But for some reason, I just _hate_ blonds. Or at least, I don't consider them attractive." "Is that why you cheered me on when I dyed my hair?" "Yes. But after all, it doesn't matter whether you're blond or not. Because you and I could never fall in love with each other, could we?"

"Of course not. But it's not your fault. I've never been in love and I never will be." "Same here... But I wish we could be a normal couple, just like my brother and your sister! I mean, we're friends who are having sex. Isn't that what people in a relationship do?" "Well... As far as I know, your brother and my sister are _not_ having sex. Therefore, I'd say no."

"Dammit, you're right. And I don't even have feelings for you..." "Tcha, unlucky me", snorts Envy sarcastically. "But you know what?" "What?" "I _do_ want you!", whispers Catherine with a tempting smirk before slowly sitting down on his lap. Her best friend answers with a conspiratorial smirk. "Okay. Turn around then."

Catherine rolls her eyes. "For fuck's sake, Envy! Can't you take the _front door_ just for once?" Envy laughs mischievously. "So not funny!" "Okay, okay. I'll do it the way you want. But I still want you to turn around. That would be a halfway house." "Fine. But I also want those hot kisses of yours!", giggles his best friend. "As you wish", whispers Envy with a naughty smirk.

After that, he harshly grasps her ponytail and starts kissing her ardently. "Your lips taste like Mountain Dew", she moans. "Did Ed buy it?" "Yes. Our fridge is full of that stuff. But hey, don't you mention his name or I'll bite you!" "You predator!" "I love it when you call me that", moans Envy while undoing the ribbons of her pink bikini...

OOO

" _Diet_ Mountain Dew? Seriously, mom?", asks Edward a raised brow. At the moment, they are standing in the kitchen of the Bradley house. "Sorry, _pasha_. But I couldn't find the other version. Anyway, I have good news!" "Uh-huh", answers Trisha's son half-heartedly while opening the can and taking his first sip.

"Roy Mustang called me!", she begins. Edward reflexively spits out his Diet Mountain Dew. "Oh, honey", sighs Trisha. "It's not what you're thinking!", she quickly adds. "Really, huh?" "Yes. They have a free apartment in their building! We'd be May's direct neighbors!" "Really...?" "What's wrong? I thought you'd be happier... Alphonse was beside himself with joy."

"Hey, I'm not unhappy, okay? I'm just a little pissed off. Because I know that _Playroy Mustard_ is having ulterior motives!" "Ed, honey. He's just a kind man, that's all!" "Really, huh? And why does he have your number, anyway?" "Maes gave it to him." "Speaking of Hughes. Remember the evening that we had dinner at his house? _Playroy_ was hitting on you the entire time!"

"Oh, Ed. That's past history now." "Says who?" "I say that!" "Oh come on! I saw you that evening! You like him, don't you?" "Honey, please. This conversation is violently inappropriate!" "No, his behavior is _violently inappropriate_!" "Ed, please! He did us a favor!" "No, he did himself a favor! And I can't get rid of the feeling that you're actually enjoying this! Damn, he could be your son!"

It does not happen very often but there are times when Trisha Elric actually raises her voice: "Hey, enough!" And whenever that happens, Edward falls silent immediately. "Al and I are going to view the apartment on Thursday! Of course, you are free to join us but you're also free to back out! I don't care! Do you understand?"

Edward does not answer. "Hey, answer me!", commands his mother in an uncharacteristically harsh tone. But Edward still does not answer. Trisha sighs. After that, she just exits the kitchen. King Wrath, who has overheard the entire conversation, hides just in time, so that she will not catch him standing there...

OOO

Headmaster Bradley is one of those people who strictly separate work from personal life. But the school staff meeting, that is taking place one day later, is an exception to the rule: "As some of you may know, Mr Grumman and I are going to nominate the future assistant headmaster by the end of this school year. However, we've already picked one potential candidate."

All eyes turn to Olivier Mira Armstrong and Roy Mustang. "This decision is not ultimate at this point, of course. You still have time to win me and Mr Grumman over. But in order to achieve that, you will have to overtrump _someone_ first. And that _someone_ is..." Olivier's and Roy's eyes and mouths are wide open.

"Miss Olivier Armstrong. Congratulations!", announces the headmaster. "Thank you, Sir", answers Olivier in a serious tone before discreetly darting a mischievous glance at Roy Mustang, who is visibly puzzled at that moment. What he does not notice is that she is not the only person who is secretly gloating over his defeat...

OOO

Right after the meeting, Roy Mustang is playing chess with his workmate and unofficial mentor Mr Grumman. There was a time when Mr Grumman has been the only master but over the years, his chess protégé Vato Falman has become the new and only champion. Roy, on the other hand, has never defeated Mr Grumman so far.

However, his main purpose is to ask his wise superior for advice and not to play chess. "Olivier is an adMIRAble woman. Therefore, I completely support Mr Bradley's idea. But I also believe in you and your qualities. You're a quite ambitious young man." "With all due respect, Sir. Why didn't you mention that earlier?"

"Because I saw no need to do it. You still have time to demonstrate your abilities on your own." "I think that I rather have to _im_ prove myself than to prove myself", retorts Mr Mustang with a determined look. Mr Grumman chuckles amusedly. "Ice versus fire. The plot thickens. As you may know, the assistant headmaster or headmistress will be the leader of our school some day."

"I know Sir." "I myself am already too old to take over the job from Mr Bradley. It's a pity, if you ask me. Because frankly, I'm still convinced that your generation is not mature enough. But my opinion doesn't count any more, so." "Sir! Would you mind giving me an advice to mature?", asks Roy submissively.

"I'll give you three. First – become your best self. Second – ensure that your opponent becomes your worst self", begins the wise old man. Mr Mustang answers with a quizzical look. "Third – pay attention!", continues Mr Grumman with a conspiratorial smirk on his face before, he mercilessly checkmates his new protégé...

OOO

"I think, I cracked the riddle", announces Roy with a triumphant smirk when he and Maes are having drinks in their favourite pub in the afternoon. "Of course." "I mean it, Hughes. Grumman subtly advised me to turn the tables. Fire and ice. Fire may be strong but ice is stronger. Therefore, I have to melt Olivier's ice away. My hot flames, on the other hand, will have to turn into cold ones."

"Roy, I had no idea! You're a downright poet!" "Cut the crap, Hughes." Hughes answers with amused laughter. "Okay, okay. But just so you know, I'm already one step ahead." "What do you mean?" "Well, Roy. First of all, you should know that Olivier is a good friend of mine." "Hey, I like her, too. But this is about my career! And therefore -"

"I know. What I wanted to say is that both of you are my friends. But you are my best friend. Moreover – and that's the point – you'd be the better headmaster. At least in my opinion." "So...?" "So... I made a decision, a couple of months ago. I've decided to support you! Also, I've already worked something out. The only way to melt Olivier's ice." "I'm all ears, Hughes."

"Someone needs to burn it down! That way, I can kill two birds with one stone. I can help you and I can also play Cupid at the same time! Great, huh?", asks Maes euphorically. "Absolutely", answers Roy dryly. "Perfect. If so, I'm going to ensure that she will stop focusing on her career! Meanwhile, you're going to stop focusing on everything that has a vagina. Problem solved." Roy raises a brow...

OOO

"Don't get me wrong, Mr Mustang, but could you please come down to business?", asks Ivan Envy Bradle in an annoyed tone. At the moment, he and Edward Elric are standing in front of the teacher's desk since Mr Mustang has asked them to stay. It is Thursday and their class has just learnt the results of the maths exam.

"Of course, Mr Bradley. Let's talk about your exam then. As you may know, you've _scarcely_ passed it", begins Roy. Hearing that, Edward really has to pull himself together in order to hold back a mischievous chuckle. Envy, on the other hand, is rather having a hard time preventing himself from verbally attacking his teacher. And also non-verbally.

"Which is why Edward is going to be your private tutor from now on. You, on the other hand, will be obliged to be his Latin tutor." "No way!", object Edward and Envy in unison. "Nice try. But unfortunately, this is not a discussion. However, if you're still eager to object, just talk with your headmaster. See you next week, gents." And just like that, Roy leaves the room...

OOO

Right after this conversation, Envy furiously stomps into the headmaster's office: "Father, I command you to fire Mr Mustang!" Wrath is scandalised: "First of all – as long as we're at school, it's Headmaster Bradley. Second – I completely welcome Mr Mustang's idea. Latin and maths tutoring, twice a week, starting from tomorrow. Case closed." Envy answers with a withering look...

OOO

Entering Ling Greed's bedroom, Edward aggressively chucks his school bag on the ground and plonks himself down on his friend's bed. "Had a bad day?", asks Ling Greed, who is sitting at his desk, with composure. "More like a bad week. Or months." "Wow. The drama queen in the flesh." "Hey, you'd surely do the same if _Playroy Mustard_ compelled you to tutor the palm tree!"

"Wait a sec, Mustang did _what_?" Greed bursts into amused laughter. "Shut up, Greed! That's beyond _not_ funny! I'm gonna beat the living daylights out of that bastard!" "Hey, don't call Mustang a bastard! That man is sort of my idol!" "Are you nuts?" "Nope. I mean, he's nearly as greedy as I am. He wants power and women. I swear, if I were a woman or gay, I'd so fuck with him."

Edward flinches. "Did I hit a nerve or something?", asks Ling Greed with a raised eyebrow. "What? No!" "Come on, Ed. Tell me, what's going on." Ed does not answer right away. There is this one particular question he cannot get out of his head any more. A question that has first arisen after he had already moved to Amestris: _"Am I possibly bisexual?"_

Edward gulps. "Hey, Greed?" "Huh?" Ed hesitates. But then: "Have you ever slept with someone who was... _Different_ from your usual sex partners...?" "You mean ugly? Or _vagina-less_?" "Yeah, for example." "Nope. But I kissed a boy once. Or maybe twice", answers Ling Greed relaxedly. "What...? But you said you were straight!"

"I am. The first time we kissed, I was drunk and to be honest, I totally enjoyed it. I got curious and went to the _Fifth Laboratory_ , a gay bar in Central. But this time, I left the alcohol out. That night, I found out that kissing boys just wasn't my cup of tea." "I see..." "Yap. Why are you asking anyway?" Edward does not know what to say.

"Man, don't tell me your shag with my sister was so traumatising that you completely lost your interest in girls", chuckles Ling Greed. "No!" "Too bad." "What? Why?" "Honest answer?" "Sure." "But hey, no judging, okay?" "Okay." Ling Greed lowers his voice before confessing: "Sometimes I wonder what it must be like to have sex with the incarnation of Lust."

"What...?" "Hey, no judging, remember?" Edward gulps. "Sorry. Go on." "Cool. Well, unfortunately, this person happens to be my half-sister. Therefore, it would be very comforting to know that _it_ wouldn't be worth it anyway. You know what I mean?" "Um... Yes and no..." Ling Greed chuckles, before asking: "So? Is she worth _it_ or not?" "To be honest..." "Yeah?"

"I don't know..." "Huh?" "I mean, she is hot and stuff..." "But?" "Like I said, I don't know..." "Okay, now it's official! _You – are – gay_!" "WHAT? NO!", objects Edward. "Okay, well. Prove it then!" "What the...?" "Come here and kiss me!" "WHAT THE...?" "Come on, you'll enjoy it, I promise!" "Damnit, what's wrong with you?" "Counter question – what are you so afraid of, huh?"

Suddenly, Ling Greed gets up from his chair and plonks himself down on his own bed, right next to Ed. "Are you insane?", asks the shorter boy. Ling Greed does not answer right away. Instead he just smirks conspiratorially at first. But then: "Nope. I'm just curious." "Greed, wait!", stutters Edward. But Ling Greed does not obey.

Instead, he bends over and kisses him without restraint. The younger boy freezes immediately, his eyes and mouth wide open. But when Greed's tongue enters his mouth, Ed is so turned on that he just closes his eyes and starts to kiss him back. Shyly at first. Then wildly. "You taste like Mountain Dew", moans Ling Greed into the other boy's mouth before slowly touching Ed's hardening crotch.

Just when Edward is about to moan, he suddenly remembers pieces of the Halloween night at the library. Driven by that, he instantly pushes Ling Greed away and runs away. Without even noticing Envy, who is leaning against the wall next to his own bedroom door and looking daggers at his guest, Edward just goes downstairs as fast as he can...

OOO

After having entered the living room, Edward immediately calls his mother. _"Yes, honey?"_ "Hey, mom, it's me. Um... Did you get the apartment...?" _"Yes..."_ "Really? Cool!" _"Wait, is it just me, or are you actually happy?"_ "Don't worry, mom! I changed my mind! I can't wait to move!" Trisha chuckles softly. _"I'm so glad to hear that, honey! But how come?"_

" _Well. Two of the Bradleys are molesting me all the time whereas one of them is constantly terrorizing me. And for some inexplicable reason, I don't manage to stop him"_ , he answers inwardly. "I don't know!", he fibs instead. Because there is no way Edward is going to tell his mother what has just happened...

OOO

"The bad news is that the homeowner asks us to move in in fifteen days at the earliest", announces Trisha in the evening, when every member of the Bradley family as well as her own family are sitting at the dining table. Edward cannot believe his ears: "You're kidding, right?" "Is there a problem?", asks Mr Bradley with a confused mien.

"Yes!", answers Ed sincerely. But after having caught his mother's friendly-reprehending look, he quickly adds: "I really don't wanna inconvenience anybody!" "Don't be silly! We're so glad to have you here!", answers Lust with a teasing smirk. "I bet you are", whispers Greed into her ear. Lust's smirk widens. Edward cannot take it any more: "I'll be right back!"

OOO

After Edward has stomped out of the dining room, he directly heads for the kitchen and grabs a can of Mountain Dew. This will already be his second dose that evening. But since his hands are shaking with rage, he does not even manage to open the can. As a result, he cuts his finger. "Damnit!", he mutters furiously.

"What a prat you are", hisses Envy, who just came out of nowhere. "Envy, I swear -!" Edward promptly falls silent, when Envy snags his can and opens it. But instead of handing it over to its owner, he just takes sip himself. Edward watches him attentively. "Tastes horrible", remarks Envy. Edward rolls his eyes.

But when Envy suddenly grasps his enemy's wrist and sticks his bleeding finger into his own mouth, before appreciatively licking the blood off, Ed freezes instantly, his eyes and mouth wide open. "Much better", whispers Envy with a devious smirk. After that, he turns around, heads for the door and – while doing so – stretches his back. Ed unwillingly stares at his slim, muscular body...

OOO

After dinner, Edward decides to take a walk. He hopes that good music on his Ipod and perhaps even a cigarette will perform prodigies. But the moment Lana Del Rey starts singing _Diet Mountain Dew_ , he instantly recalls both happenings: His short necking with Ling Greed as well as the even weirder situation with Ivan Envy in the kitchen.

" _Gosh, that family drives me crazy!"_ , he mutters inwardly. His slowly hardening crotch proves him theory. "Damnit!", swears Edward when he realises that he cannot return yet. Because beforehand, he has to get rid of his hard-on. And all of a sudden, he comes up with a risky idea: " _What's that bar in Central called again...?"_

OOO

The _Fifth Laboratory_ , in the Amestris Avenue, is a mixture of a bar and a night club. But first and foremost, it is a place where young boys and men are given the opportunity to _experiment_. Therefore, it is a quite _informative_ place. And Edward himself got the _information_ that he is not just popular amongst female teenagers.

Therefore, it only takes him a few minutes to find a handsome boy who is willing to give him a hand job in the lavatory. The British guy named Denny Brosh does not even expect anything in return. Except for kisses and some talking afterwards: "How old are you?" "Perhaps you should have asked me that before _hand_. And yes, pun intended", retorts Ed boldly.

"Yeah, maybe... Please tell me, that you're _not_ underage!" "I'm not. I'm eighteen." "But... You are so..." "Hey, you better not say _short_ after having seen my large -!" "Okay, got it!", stammers Denny sheepishly. "How old are you?", asks Ed. "Nineteen." "And when did you become...? You know..." "That's nothing, you _become_. Either you are gay or you're not." "But what about bisexuals...?"

"Well... That's another possibility. But many male bisexuals I know, are actually homosexuals who just pretend to consider girls attractive." "But I _am_ attracted to girls..." "And are you having sex with them too?" "Only once, so far. But there's another girl, I would like to have sex with." "What about the girl, you've already had sex with? Did you consider her attractive?"

"Well... She's not necessarily my favorite type but she's definitely hot." "So... You actually did enjoy it, huh?" "I think so... I mean, yes. I did." "And what about your intercourses with boys? Were you enjoying those to the same extent?" "Well... To be honest, I've only had one male sex partner so far. And I think... It was better..." "If so, you're definitely not heterosexual."

"But maybe I would have enjoyed the sex with the girl to the same extent if I'd had feelings for her...?" "Enjoying sex with girls won't make you heterosexual as long as you're enjoying it with boys too", answers Denny Brosh. "As far as I can judge, you're at least bisexual. But the question is whether you're actually bisexual or perhaps even gay as in _not_ _straight but g_ -"

" _Gay_ , I got it", interrupts Edward. Denny grins sheepishly. He is one of those handsome boys who have not realised yet how good-looking they actually are. Ed considers Denny's simplicity quite adorable. But not in a sexual manner. Therefore, this will have been their first and their last encounter. At least for now...

OOO

Meanwhile, Winry is varnishing Maes' bicycle. That way, she is trying to forget about the things that are bothering her lately: She has not heard from Ed since that Halloween party. He did not even bother to tell her that he is going to be her neighbour soon. May broke the news to her. But Ed is not the only boy who is avoiding her: _"It's hardly surprising that I'm regularly throwing up, lately."_

Suddenly, her stream of thought gets cut off: "Hey there, tomboy." Winry cannot believe her ears: "What the hell are you doing here?" "Honest answer? I'm worried because I saw you walking like a handicapped flamingo at school today. Sorry, again." Winry rolls her eyes, but since she has not turned around yet, he cannot see it.

"I'm fine. So you don't have to worry about that. Or be here at all", she hisses. "Yeah, whatever. What about your _white knight_? Is there any news?" Winry does not answer right away, which causes Kimblee to smirk triumphantly. But his smirk subsides promptly, when she finally announces: "Actually, yes. He's going to be our neighbour soon."

"He... Is...?" "Yap. In fifteen days." "Wow... Congratulations then." "You don't seem to be happy...", remarks Winry cautiously. "I am. For you. But other than that, I couldn't care less." Winry sighs. But apart from that, she does not answer. "Anyway. You still owe me an answer. I want to know whether your arse is in pain or not." Winry rolls her eyes: "You're a pervert! You know that, right?"

"Yes. Seriously though, I don't get it. Because I thought that you were actually enjoying it." "Well... I'm willing to admit that it wasn't as bad as I'd thought it would be..." "Was that it?" Winry rolls her eyes again. "Fine, I liked it! Are you satisfied now?", she hisses. "Sort of." "But only the second round! The first round, on the other hand... I don't know, but when I had to wear that rabbit mask..."

She pauses for a second. "That was just humiliating, to say the least..." "Silly girl. Why didn't you just say no to the mask, then?" "Honest answer?" "Of course." "I was afraid that you'd kick me out. And that night, I couldn't risk it. I just needed a fuck." "Oh, Win. I like it when you speak that way." "You like everything that is inappropriate. And just so you know! Next time, I definitely won't -"

All of a sudden, Winry has to throw up. Somehow, the varnish's smell is nauseating her. "Next time, you definitely won't do _what_?" Winry does not answer right away. "I'll be right back!", she announces then, before abruptly running off. Kimblee raises an eyebrow and looks after her. After that, he just shrugs...

OOO

"Where have you been?", asks Ling Greed after Ed has hesitatingly entered his room. "None of your damn business." "Yes, it is. You're like a brother to me." "Gross." "Come on, you know what I mean. Besides, I really don't get why you're being such a bitch in the first place." "I can tell you why! You and your siblings are constantly molesting me!"

"Yeah, I know. But in my defence – you were totally enjoying our little game today." "No, I wasn't!" "Yes, you were. And I can't blame you. Because I'm hot and you're gay or bisexual or whatever the fuck." "Hey, I'm not, okay? Kissing a boy doesn't make me gay! You kissed more boys than I did!" "Come on, mate. We both know that this isn't true." Edward freezes immediately.

"What, huh?", asks Ling Greed with a raised eyebrow. Deafening silence. But then: "It was you, wasn't it?" "Whatcha talking about?" "Shut it, Greed! Just tell me where you're hiding it!" "Hiding _what_?" "The _White Rabbit-_ costume! I'm going to burn it! And your face too!" "Okay, now I'm officially confused." "Really, huh?"

"Yes, really. Because I don't own such a thing. Kimblee does. But I still don't get why you're talking about costumes all of a sudden." Edward freezes one more time. "Oh man. You can be so creepy sometimes", remarks Ling Greed, who cannot make sense of his friend's behaviour at the moment. "I gotta go!" "What the...?" But Edward has already exited his room...

OOO

Twenty minutes later, Winry is lying in a familiar bed and moaning with pleasure until the doorbell starts ringing all of a sudden. "Dammit! I thought, your flatmate was in Kosovo?" "He is", answers Solf, who was just going south on her, with composure. "Then who is this?", asks Winry with a terrified look, while the doorbell is ringing non-stop. Kimblee rolls his eyes. "One sec", he groans...

OOO

"Finally!", grunts Edward after Scar's flatmate has opened the door. Kimblee is surprised. But not agreeably. Nevertheless, he put a smirk on, before retorting: "Edward Elric? What an honour." Instead of answering him, Edward just pushes him aside and enters his flate. "Come in", offers Kimblee sarcastically.

When Winry hears loud steps that are coming closer, she promptly decides to hide, but it is already too late: Edward has just barged in. Seeing her in her underwear causes him to freeze immediately. "Ed...!", murmurs Winry with an equally puzzled and also embarrassed look. "Oops. That's awkward", remarks Kimblee with a mischievous smirk.

" _You_!", hisses Ed before suddenly seizing him by the collar of his undershirt and pushing him against the wall. "Ed!", exclaims Winry but she does not get an answer. "I know what you did!", hisses Ed through gritted teeth. "Relax, okay? I mean, she was literally begging you to bust her cherry but apparently, you weren't as hungry as I was, so", retorts Kimblee with composure.

"Shut up, _White Rabbit_!", commands the shorter boy. Winry flinches immediately. Because at that very instant, she is thinking that Edward has somehow found out about that embarrassing game she and her sex partner had played after the Halloween party. "Wait, is _White Rabbit_ an American slang word for playboy?", asks Solf with a confused mien that does not quite match his mocking tone.

"No, prat! I'm talking about your Halloween costume!" " _Prat_? You're clearing spending too much time with Envy", retorts Kimblee. "Besides, I was wearing a _Mad Hatter_ -costume. Same film, different character." Ed sighs before addressing himself to Winry: "Would you mind giving us a minute?" He could not sound more irritated. "Sure...", sighs Winry after a while and exits the room.

"And there goes the only potential witness." "Hey, Kimblee! Stop talking nonsense and tell me the truth! Ling Greed says that you bought a _White Rabbit-_ costume!" "No, I didn't. I _borrowed_ one. But then I changed my mind." "What? So it's not even yours?" "Like I said, I just borrowed it." "And when did you give it back?" "It's still hanging in my wardrobe. Would you like to try it on?"

"Wait a sec! Nobody was wearing this particular costume at that party?" "Nope. Unless someone broke in during our absence, of course", answers Solf nonchalantly. Ed groans. "What's wrong, huh?" "Nothing... I just thought that..." "Yes?" Silence. "Whatever", mutters Edward after a while and heads for the door. But then, he remembers something: "Hey, Kimblee! One more thing!"

"Huh?", asks Solf indifferently. Ed does not answer verbally. Instead, he hits Winry's sex partner with his left fist. But Kimblee does not react to that. "Keep your hands off Winry! Otherwise, I'm gonna chop them off!" Solf answers with an amused smirk. But Ed, who has already stomped out of the room and is now darting an angry glance at Winry before finally exiting the flat, cannot see it.

"What a hothead", remarks Kimblee with composure. "Oh my God! Your lip is bleeding!", squeals Winry. Within seconds, she grabs a tissue and wraps it around a few ice cubes, before gently dabbing his wound without warning. "I'm a grown up man, young Lady." "No, you aren't! Besides, my parents were doctors!" Kimblee laughs softly.

"What?", asks Winry with a smile on her face, while simultaneously doctoring him. "You're lovely, that's all." "Come on, everybody would do that." "Not where I come from...", he retorts quietly. "You mean... Germany?" Kimblee chuckles. "Yes. That was exactly what I was referring to." "Shut up", chuckles Winry.

Suddenly, Solf changes the subject: "Looks like he's falling for you." Winry sighs. "He _was_ falling for me... If any..." "Oh, come on. He has no right to judge you. You heard what Lust said." "Yes, but that's the way it works. Men are allowed to whore around but women aren't." "Says who?", asks Kimblee with composure. "Everyone. Society", mumbles Winry.

"But do you know what's even more frustrating? That I only get his attention when I do something foolish..." "Ouch." "You know what I mean, Kimblee!" "Yes. And frankly, that's yesterday's news. Edward is a narcissist. And those tend to befriend people who are weaker, just to feel better about themselves. And more powerful too. Well, at least that's what my therapist taught me."

Winry laughs amusedly, which makes him smirk. "You're totally right about everything! But..." "Yes...?", asks Kimblee attentively. "I'm just not ready to give up on him, yet..." "Oh, Win..." "What...?", she asks cautiously. "Well. Sometimes I wonder whether I should respect or rather pity your limitless patience with that hothead."

Winry nods silently. "Anyway. I stick to my word. And I hope you know what that means for us..." Kimblee does not answer at first. But then: "There is no _us_ , Winry. And there never was." For a moment, Winry stops moving. _"Ouch..."_ , she murmurs inwardly. "Right", she answers instead and then just continues to doctor him...


	12. Music to Watch Boys To

**IMPORTANT INFORMATION AHEAD:**

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own anything, not the brand names, not the song titles and especially not Fullmetal Alchemist.

 **Content:** _D._ is going to be revealed in chapter 25. This chapter will contain limes. The story is rated M after all. But if you think that I am exaggerating, just let me know.

 **Character:** Ling Greed is actually heterosexual. However, he is totally fascinated by Edward. And who can blame him? ;D

 **Allusion:** Remember the family photo of Van Hohenheim, Trisha, Edward and Alphonse from Brotherhood? Keep it in mind, please (:

 **\- Chapter 12: Music to Watch Boys To -**

"Welcome back." Right now, Ling Greed is lying on his bed with his arms crossed behind his neck. Therefore, he is relaxed as usual. Edward, on the other hand, has not calmed down yet, despite his long walk home. Words cannot express how mad he is. Mad at Winry and her sex partner Kimblee. As a result of this, he is not in the mood for a talk, which is why he does not answer him verbally.

Instead, Edward heads for his friend's bed and sits down on his lap. "Wow, easy", chuckles Ling Greed. "Shut up!", commands Ed and then just kisses him without warning. And Ling Greed kisses him back. At least, for a few seconds. But then: "Listen, I can't do that, okay?" "Why, the fuck, not?", grunts Ed. "Hey, you're hot as hell. But I'm just not into boys..."

Edward groans. "Trust me, I tried to get into it. But it just doesn't work for me." "Screw you, Greed!", hisses Ed before turning his back on his friend. Ling Greed chuckles. "Hey... Come on... Don't be such a bitch. I'll make it up to you, I promise...", he whispers while gently stroking the younger boy's blond hair.

"Don't touch me", mutters Edward before suddenly getting up again. "Where are you going?", asks Ling Greed with a raised eyebrow. "There's something, I have to get rid of!" "Don't be silly. You can do it here." Ed is visibly puzzled: "What...? No, I can't...!" "Yes, you can. Do you see that arm chair, right _there_? Sit down and go ahead." "But... What about you...?"

"Well... That's up to you", answers Ling Greed in a teasing tone while putting some music on. "If you want me to leave the room, I can just -" "No!", decides Edward impulsively. "Stay!", he commands vigorously. Ling Greed, who is still lying on his bed, smirks naughtily. "Okay, then. Fire away", he retorts then. Edward gulps before slowly taking down his trousers and sitting down.

Ling Greed cannot believe his eyes: _"Wow... So much for short..."_ "I know what you're thinking now!", moans Ed, who has just started to touch himself, with a horny smirk. "Really, huh?", asks Ling Greed with a raised brow. "Oh yeah. Your sister was thinking the same when she saw _him_ for the first time", pants Edward.

"And so was the guy who gave me that hand job, a few hours ago", he adds. "So that's what you've been doing all the time." Edward does not answer verbally. Instead, he just nods, while keeping his eyes closed. "And who are you thinking about at the moment? Him or Lust?", asks Ling Greed nonchalantly. Edward startles.

Only now does he realise what he is actually thinking about: _"Tastes horrible", remarked Envy. Edward rolled his eyes. But when Envy suddenly grasped his enemy's wrist and put his bleeding finger into his own mouth, before appreciatively licking the blood off, Ed froze instantly, his eyes and mouth wide open. "Much better", whispered Envy with a devious smirk..._

"Take off your shirt!", commands Edward out of the blue. "As you wish", chuckles Ling Greed and does what he has been asked to do. " _Much better_ ", whispers Ed. " _You naughty boy_ ", he adds with an accent that does not quite sound American. Ling Greed is slightly confused by that: _"Why do these words just sound so familiar to me...?"_

Ling Greed's stream of thought gets cut off abruptly, when he suddenly hears another one of Edward's sensual moans. As a result of this, he unwillingly starts questioning things: _"Blow. Why the bloody hell am I just being so turned on by this? I've never been attracted to boys before. At least not while being sober. But Ed..."_

"Hey, Greed!" "Huh?" "Whatcha thinking about?" _"Right now, I'd love to touch that delicious chopper of yours."_ "Answer me, Greed!" "Nothing, mate." "Liar!", moans Ed. Greed raises an eyebrow and smirks amusedly. Since both of them are being too busy at the moment, they completely fail to notice the violet eye that is peeping through the keyhole. A look of disdain...

OOO

"Translate this text!", commands Ivan Envy one day later. "You have twenty minutes!", he adds sharply. Edward is confused. "And what are you gonna do in the meantime?" "Well, it depends. Have you prepared maths exercises for me?" Edward's sheepish look says it all. Envy rolls his eyes. "Bravo", he snorts then.

"Sorry, okay? It's just that I had something else in mind! Like helping you with our maths homework and stuff. Besides, giving me something to translate is pointless. Perhaps, you should rather explain these grammatical constructions to me." "Why should I? You wouldn't understand them anyway", retorts Envy with a mocking grin. Edward opens his mouth to insult him.

But then, the doorbell rings all of a sudden. Both of them answer with quizzical looks. Shortly after Envy has opened the door, he returns with a package in his hand that is addressed to the Elric family. " _Here_ ", he hisses before throwing it at his guest. Usually, Envy would have opened it by now. However, he just withstood, since Edward is probably going to do that anyway.

"What the...? Hey, Envy, who gave that to you?" "A delivery man. Why?" Edward does not answer. "Oh come on, don't be so paranoid!", snorts Envy. " _Paranoid_? That person just burned down my damn house, remember?" "Yeah, whatever. Father installed cameras everywhere, in case _D._ should ever come here again." "He did...?"

"Yes, so stop whining! It's just a bloody package, which means that you can open it!", hisses Envy before suddenly handing a knife to him. This causes the blond boy to flinch. And instead of opening the package right away, Edward hesitates at first. But despite the risk, he finally decides to do it. His look could not be more determined at that moment.

However, his determined look turns into a rather surprised one after he has finally opened the package: _"Our old photograph album?"_ "Hey, pips -" Edward darts a withering glance at Envy. "Hey, Edward." "What?", asks Ed in a calm tone, that is totally out of character. "Do you see what I see?", asks Envy and points at a little piece of paper that is stuck between the first pages.

"Hell no...!", mutters Edward before grasping that little piece of paper and reading out the message that is written on it: _"That is the only personal object, I came across in that house. So I decided to spare it and give it back to you. By the way – you and your father look so much alike, Edward. Almost like twins. Kisses, D."_

All of a sudden, Edward bares his teeth, hissing: "I can't believe this sick bastard has actually touched our personal things! It makes me wanna puke!" Usually, Envy would mock his enemy at that moment but at that very instant, he is being too distracted by something else: "Wait, how is it even possible that _D._ knows what your father used to look like?"

Only now does Edward reveal: "This book is our only photograph album. So I guess that _D._ must have seen a picture of him or something." "I see. And is _D._ right about that?", asks Envy out of nowhere. Ironically enough, Envy himself is even more surprised by his own question than Van Hohenheim's son is.

But just when Envy is about to retract it, Edward spontaneously decides: "See it for yourself!" For a moment, Envy is being confused by Edward's grumpy tone. But instead of asking him about it, he just looks at the page that his guest has randomly flipped open. There is only one picture that is showing all four family members.

And that one in particular is unsettling Ivan Envy for many reasons. Having seen Ed and Al as toddlers, is definitely one of them. Other than that, he is confused by Van Hohenheim's tears and even more by the fact that he looks exactly like: _"Father Hohenheim...?"_ "Envy. What's wrong?" "What? Um nothing... _D._ was right, you do look like twins indeed." Ed does not know what to say...

OOO

"That's just a coincidence", insists Juliet Sloth after Envy has told his siblings about the picture, in the evening. "I mean, Miss Elric and I are the best example. People say that we also look alike." Unlike his siblings, Selim Pride – who is still shivering – is not fully convinced yet: "Fa-father t-told m-me th-that h-her f-fiancé's n-name w-was a-also Ho-ho-hohenheim!"

"What? No way!", holler his siblings in unison. "Well, that would explain at least why they moved here in the first place...", murmurs Sloth with a pensive mien. "But that doesn't make any sense! Miss Elric never mentioned some brother-in-law!", interposes Greed. "Why should she talk with you, of all people, about such private thing, huh?", retorts Envy.

"Well. Unlike you, I actually do talk with our lovely housekeeper", answers Greed after having rolled his eyes. "Right. I forgot how _close_ you and the Elrics are", hisses Envy with a devious grin. A grin that confuses his older brother. "Anyway. If you ask me, there are only three possibilities", interposes Solaris Lust.

"First – Miss Elric just forgot to mention it. Second – she's decided to keep it a secret for some reason. Third – she herself doesn't even know about her dead fiancé's twin." "Don't be silly, Solaris. I mean, why would somebody keep his own twin a secret from his fiancé?", asks Alex Louis Armstrong's fiancé rhetorically.

"Counter question – does your fiancé know each member of our family?", retorts Lust. "Touché", answers Sloth dryly. "Enough!", decides Pride who is about to lose his temper. "I'm going to tell father that Hohenheim has a twin!", he announces. "What? No, you can't do that!", interposes Sloth. "Why not?", asks Ling Greed nonchalantly.

"Because father would certainly panic!", answers his older sister. "That's quite the point", retorts Ling Greed with a mocking smirk on his face. Sloth is visibly scandalised. "Fine! If so, I'm going to pay Father Hohenheim a visit instead!", announces their youngest sibling this time before immediately stomping out of the house.

"That brat!", hisses Envy with an irritated mien. Juliet, on the other hand, is already worrying about the nestling: "One of you has to follow him!" "Good idea, sister mine. You know where the keys are", retorts Greed indifferently. "I can't! I've already promised to visit Mr and Mrs Armstrong's graves this evenings! Alex is probably waiting outside at the moment! Envy...? Lust...? Please...!"

"Sorry. No car, no money to cab", fibs Envy. "I'll give you the money but please, Envy! Just do me this one favour!" A begging tone. Juliet Sloth Bradley never begs other people than Wrath or Pride. Envy rolls his eyes, hissing: "Fine, I'll do it! But just so you know – that brat would be safer around all the criminals out there, than around me!"

OOO

In the middle of the night, King Wrath starts from his sleep. After having put his elegant dressing gown on, he exits his bedroom and goes downstairs so he can get himself a glass of water. But just when he is about to enter the kitchen, he unexpectedly sees somebody sitting in the living room. And that somebody turns out to be: "Trisha...? Is that you...?"

Trisha instantly looks up from the family picture, she has been holding in her hand ever since her older son gave it to her. This is the only picture that is showing all four of them. "Oh... It's you Mr... King...!" Wrath nods silently. "I'm sorry, did I interrupt your sleep?", asks Trisha. "Oh no, it wasn't your fault!" "Did we have a nightmare or something?", she asks with an angelic smile on her face.

King Wrath does not know what to say. "You know what? Whenever my sons are having nightmares, I give them a glass of hot milk. And unlike Ed, who hates milk more than anything, Al definitely considers it helpful. And who knows? Perhaps it might help you too?" This time, King Wrath does know what to say...

OOO

As a result of this, both of them end up in the kitchen. "So Edward doesn't like milk. How come?", asks King, who is sitting at the kitchen table while Trisha is cooking a pot of milk. "I don't know. But there is one thing I do know. My fiancé didn't like milk, either." King nods silently while Trisha is mentally slipping away for a few seconds.

But then she abruptly averts her eyes from the simmering milk before suddenly looking him straight in the face. "Your wife Quinn. What was she like?", she then asks out of nowhere. "Excuse me?" "Oh... I'm sorry, that was totally inappropriate!" "No, that's all right. It's just that... I don't really understand the question."

"Well... I just wanna know what kind of person she used to be. You've already told me about her philanthropy. And that she was a mothering delivery nurse..." "And that's the best way to describe her. But other than that, Q loved travelling. I mean, our multi-cultural family is living proof of that. _Literally_." Both of them laugh.

After that, King strikes a more serious note: "Juliet Sloth is a so-called 'father-child'. Selim, on the other hand, is a 'sister-child', if you will. According to his own words, he can barely remember his mother. But if you ask me, he's just forcing himself to forget her. Pretending to be Sloth's son instead, probably makes it easier for him." "Probably...", answers Trisha softly.

"Yes... Well... Juliet and Solaris were always having issues with one another. Before Q departed this life, they'd been constantly competing for our love. Lust has the impression that I prefer Sloth whereas Sloth thinks that Q used to love Lust more. _Needless to say_ , both of them are wrong. Quinn loved all of her children to the same extent..." "What about your other boys...?"

"Well... Ling Greed was definitely a 'mother-child'. And reminding me of that sad truth every single day is what he does best." "Perhaps..." "Yes? Trisha?" Trisha hesitates before rising to speak again: "Perhaps Ling Greed just feels misunderstood..." "Every family has a bad apple." "You... Are calling your own son a _bad apple_?"

"No. But that's what Ling Greed is calling himself. However, these are probably Ivan Envy's words rather than his own." "Envy...", murmurs Trisha. "Did you say something?" "No... I was just wondering what kind of boy he is." "You mean Ivan Envy?" "Yes..." "I wish I knew", answers King dryly. Trisha answers with a soft chuckle.

"But seriously. Envy is definitely the one, I know the least. The other five may be challenging too but at least they are not so unpredictable." "The other _five_...?", asks Trisha with a confused look. "I'm sorry! _Four_ , of course!", answers King immediately, after having slapped himself mentally. "No, I am sorry! Please go on!"

"What else can I say? He's just different from the others... Just think about Juliet, for instance. Most people think that she's this young version of Jackie Kennedy. But you and I both know that she's rather resembling _Squidward Tentacles_ from time to time." Trisha is doing her utmost to hold back a laugh. "It's okay, you're allowed to agree", chuckles Wrath. Trisha answers with amused laughter.

"Tell me more about them, King." "Well... Greed may be the reason for most of my wrinkles but leastwise, you always know where you stand with him. If I want him to do something, I just have to ask for the opposite and that's it." Trisha answers with a soft chuckle. "Lust... Is trying hard to keep her foolish actions a secret from me. Unlike Greed, who's rather trying to rub them in my face."

King sighs. "Pride is a very demanding child. He needs acknowledgement round the clock. But I can handle that. Somehow. And then there's Envy..." "Yes...?" "Well... Envy is a very complicated young man..." "In what way?" "Listen, Trisha. I'm not an idiot. I know full well that he's doing all these horrible things at school." "You do...?", asks Trisha with a surprised look.

"Yes. I may be blind in one eye but let's call a spade a spade – even men who are blind in both eyes know how gruesome he can be at times." "Don't get me wrong, but why are you...?" "Tolerating all this?" "Sorry... But yes..." "That's a good question... And I promise you, in case I should ever find an answer, I'll inform you immediately." They laugh again. And then: "The milk is ready."

OOO

"Why don't you tell me more about your sons?", asks King Wrath before taking his first sip, a few minutes later. "Because I know that you're not interested in stories about children", answers Trisha with a bold grin that automatically makes him think of Edward. "But your boys aren't children any more, are they?" "Touché." Wrath answers with a fatherly laugh.

"Well, King. You've already met them. Alphonse is one of the most polite, friendly and warm-hearted young gentlemen out there. _Quelle surprise_." "Shocking", remarks Wrath sarcastically. "If so, you'll surely be even more shocked when I tell you that Edward is a downright hothead." "What...? No way, I don't buy that!" Trisha chuckles amusedly.

"But seriously. My fiancé kept saying that Alphonse took after me and Edward after _the teenage Van Hohenheim_..." "And... Was your fiancé right about that...?" "He was. You know? I love both of my sons to the same extent. But my relationship with Alphonse is definitely more harmonious. After all, we don't just look alike, we think alike too." Trisha sighs.

"Al's and Ed's relationship is very strong. As if their souls were sort of _connected_... As for my relationship with Edward... Well. He's my son and I love him unconditionally. I'm aware that I'm often having a hard time reading his mind, but there's still one thing I know one thing for sure! Ed, his brother and their father all have a heart of gold!"

King Wrath nods with a pensive mien before accidentally asking: "Do you still love him?" Trisha answers with a puzzled look. Ironically enough, she is not the only one who did not see that coming. "Please excuse me, Trisha! Just ignore my question! It was stupid and violently inappropriate!" Trisha does not answer right away.

Because on the one hand, she could not agree more: That question is indeed inappropriate. Especially, in view of the fact that he is her superior. And if it was any other person than him, she would never give an answer in the first place. Because after all, she is a professional employee, who strictly separates work from personal life.

But on the other hand, she could not care less: It is just a simple question after all. And this question is definitely less scandalous than the secret she is going to share with him, his boss. A secret, she cannot keep to herself any longer. A secret that – in fact – is not really a secret any more: "There is this man... I think he's attracted to me...!" King gulps, as discreetly as possible.

He does not know why but for some reason he barely manages to ask the following question: "And is it mutual...?" "To be honest..." "Yes...?" "I don't know... I mean, he's definitely an attractive man. But there are some conflicts..." "I'm listening", are the words, he is forcing through his teeth. "Okay. First off, he's way too young... I mean, we're talking about a decade", chuckles Trisha.

"Go on!", offers Wrath. However, his offer sounds more like an order. "That's actually a little awkward... Please don't judge me!" "Of course not!", he answers insincerely. "Okay then... He's my sons' teacher! And I know for sure that Edward wouldn't be pleased at all, in case I should... Anyway, there's still another problem... I don't have true feelings for him!"

Wrath's first answer is a confused look, directly followed by a second question that he has never intended to ask: "So, you're rather physically attracted to that man?" Trisha flinches in reaction to his _straightforwardness_. She definitely did not see that coming. "Miss... Trisha... I am so sorry!" "No, I am sorry! I'm bothering you with such stupid -" "Don't be silly!", interrupts Wrath.

Trisha answers with a quizzical look. Wrath gives a little cough. "Well... You wouldn't have told me all this if you didn't feel a need to." "Mr Bradley... King! I swear, I never talk about such things with my bosses!" "It's okay, Trisha. That's nothing you can talk about with your children. Besides, I'm a widower too and thus underwent something similar!" " _Underwent_?", asks Trisha impulsively.

"Sorry, Sir!", she quickly adds. King chuckles softly. "Why don't we just leave the 'Sirs' and 'sorries' out? We've already crossed that line, haven't we?" "You're probably right but you're still my..." "Boss...? Well, I'd prefer to be your... Friend too." "And so would I! Believe me, I would... But you see, I'm from California! Which means that I'm used to... Personal questions like these! But you..."

"Let me interrupt you, Trisha. Because I just want to make clear that I can handle your questions. Despite my British mentality. Therefore, I am going to answer your last question now!" "Okay", chuckles Trisha, who is secretly intrigued by his friendly smile. "All right... So first of all, I'm fully aware of my grammatical and semantical mistake. _Underwent_ is definitely the wrong word."

Wrath pauses. But then: "Before Quinn died, she'd made me promise something. That I'd never stop living my life, not even after her death... Especially not after her death. And despite all my feelings of guilt, I leastwise tried to fall in love again. That's been her wish, after all. So..." "Yes...?" "Well, I'm still trying to move forward. But only step by step..." Silence.

But then: "If you don't mind me asking..." "Yes...?" "Does your friend Clemin truly exist or is he just an imaginary alibi...?" King answers with amused laughter. "Yes, he does exist! Your alibi-theory isn't that far fetched though. I mean, I do visit him from time to time. But most of the time, I just _pretend_ to do it."

"So he actually _is_ an alibi. Just not an imaginary one...?" At that moment, King is getting the impression that Trisha is not overly excited about the news. "Are... You judging me now?" "What? No...!" "Good. Because I can assure you that lying to my sons and daughters is definitely no cakewalk." Trisha does not answer.

Instead she suddenly blushes like a teenager for some inexplicable reason. She does not know whether this is due to their age difference or to the fact that Van Hohenheim has been her only partner so far, but somehow King Wrath Bradley often makes her feel like a young, callow high school girl. And Trisha does not know if she feels comfortable with that or not.

Either way, she spontaneously decides to make him feel uncomfortable this time: "So... Do we know this... Lucky woman?" "No, I don't think so. A few months ago, Sloth compelled me to sign me in to a single-website. And there was this woman who is going to move to Yousval soon. We met a few times, I've shown her around. And so on and so forth."

She cannot get rid of the impression that he is indeed feeling uncomfortable. But for some inexplicable reason, the usually angelic woman is enjoying the situation to the fullest: "Yousval, huh? What a coincidence." "Indeed. And that's just the tip of the iceberg. Rumour has it, that you're going to be neighbours too." "Are you kidding me? I mean... You must be joking...!"

King chuckles quietly. "No, I'm not _kidding you_. I myself found out about that coincidence today. It's a small world, isn't it?" "It is, King... It is...", she murmurs. Silence. But then: "Well. Now, if you'll excuse me! It's already late...!" She just needs to be alone now. "Of course! Should I give you a hand?", asks King politely.

"No, I'm fine! I'm going to clean the kitchen tomorrow! Good night, King!" And instead of giving him the opportunity to answer her, she promptly leaves the kitchen and thus fails to notice that she has just accidentally dropped the family picture. King looks after her with a confused mien. But then, he suddenly sees the photograph: _"Father Hohenheim...? No... That cant' be...!"_

OOO

"We need to talk, Fa -!" Father Cornello raises his bushy eyebrow. It is the next day and King Wrath has just furiously entered the _Leto Church_ in Liore. "Another Bradley? Seriously, how is it that I happen to see every Bradley except for the future bride, recently?", asks Father Cornello in a sarcastic tone and with a grumpy mien.

Juliet Sloth decided that Cornello should be the one to marry Alex and her, _even though_ her family knows Hohenheim way longer. Or perhaps _precisely_ _because_ of their unconventional connection with Father Hohenheim. The forty-five-year-old Italian named Cornello may be a little fanatic at times, he strictly refuses to call the Bradleys by their _sinful_ names for example.

However, the few Catholics in Amestris, especially those in Liore, like him a lot. "I already told your sons that Father Hohenheim will be out of town until Christmas Eve service." "My sons...?", asks Wrath with a confused look. "Yes. Ivan and Selim came by, yesterday evening. Haven't they told you?" King Wrath does not answer...

OOO

"You have five minutes to explain!", announces Mr Bradley with an upset mien. It is the same Saturday and at the moment, Ivan Envy and Selim Pride are sitting in their father's home office. "We just wanted to talk with him. It's not that big a deal, father", answers Selim Pride in a slightly snobbish tone. Envy rolls his eyes.

"Well, actually Pride wanted to talk with him. In the late evening. I merely ran after him to protect him, just in case a paedophile would have tried to attack him." "Watch your mouth, Envy!", commands Wrath. "Seriously! Are you out of your mind? I asked you to stay away from him! All of you!" "Why? Is he Father Hohenheim real paedophile or what?", asks Envy with a cynical grin.

Pride blows a raspberry. "For God's sake, stop trying to be funny, Envy. That's just embarrassing." Just when Envy is about to attack him verbally, their father intervenes again: "You know exactly why you're not allowed to talk with that man!" "Relax, father! He's out of town, so!", hisses Envy. "And why were you visiting him anyway?", asks Pride confidently.

"Because...", begins King Wrath. "Yes...?", ask his sons in unison "Nothing. You're free to go now. Both of you." Ivan Envy and Selim Pride do not move. And neither do they speak, until Pride finally summons up the courage to ask the following question: "Is this about that twin-thing...?" Their father is astonished...

OOO

"Dammit, Pride! I can't believe you actually told him everything!", hisses Solaris Lust when she, Ling Greed, Ivan Envy and Selim Pride are later sitting in Greed's room and discussing the news. "Tell me sister, are you deaf or something? I said, I wouldn't have told him anything if I hadn't known _for sure_ that he knows about the family picture!", retorts the nestling snobbishly.

"Hey, calm down, guys! There's no point in arguing. Especially not with Father Hohenheim being out of town", intervenes Greed. "Speaking of whom..." "What is it, Envy?", asks Lust. "Nothing. But I was just wondering if it's possible that Father Hohenheim and his twin... Are the same person... I mean, both Hohenheims do a lot of travelling. Or _did_. Whatever."

Ling Greed cannot believe his ears: "Hey, Envy! Are you daft? Not everyone is such a sadist like you! Father Hohenheim and the other Hohenheim being the same person would imply that a family father faked his own death! And that's impossible!" Ivan Envy chuckles. "Oh really? I thought _nothing was impossible_?", he retorts.

"You used to toss that one around like it was your catch phrase. You changed your mind or something?", he adds with a mocking smirk on his face. "Shut your worthless trap, ugly", retorts Ling Greed with composure. Ivan Envy does not answer verbally. Instead, he just bares his teeth, his look thoroughly withering.

Suddenly, all four of them hear a knocking on the door. "Come in!", offers Ling Greed. Edward, who has just entered the room, regrets his early arrival immediately, when he sees Lust, Pride and Envy. "Sorry. Didn't wanna interrupt you", mutters the guest. "That's all right, we were about to leave, anyway", answers Pride before exiting the room. Lust, who is getting a phone call, exits too.

Instead of leaving Ling Greed and Edward alone, Ivan Envy puts some music on first. "Now you two can do whatever you want. But I strongly advise you to turn the music louder than last time", he hisses with a devious smirk. After that, he slowly walks out of his older brother's room. At that moment, Edward is too stunned to ask any questions.

"What the hell was that?", asks Ling Greed with a raised eyebrow before plonking himself down on his bed. "Hey, Ed. What's wrong?" Edward gulps. "Fuck... He knows!" "Knows _what_ , huh?" "Damnit, Greed! You know what I mean!" "Sorry, mate. I have no idea." Ed lowers his voice, hissing: "You stupid idiot! I'm talking about the... _Jack off_ -thing, two days ago!"

Ling Greed chuckles amusedly. "Hey, why are you laughing, damnit?" "Come on, just relax!" " _Just relax_ , huh?" "Yeah. I mean, who cares?" "Are you nuts? We're talking about Envy!" "Exactly. Which means that he would have blackmailed one of us already, if he'd known something." "Hey, trust me, he _will_ blackmail us! He probably just hasn't figured out the best way to torture us, yet!"

Envy's brother rolls his eyes. "Oh man. If you're really that paranoid, just go and ask him to make sure that you're safe." Despite Ling Greed's sarcasm, Ed spontaneously decides to carry out that idea. "Shit...", whispers the older boy after his guest stomped out of his room. Nevertheless, he does not move, since he is convinced that he will not be able to stop the younger boy anyway...

OOO

Whenever Edward Elric goes through the roof, he wishes that he could walk through walls too. But since he is not able to do that, he just walks through doors instead. Doors that he opens without permission. Doors like Envy's bedroom door. After having jumped with fright, Envy abruptly removes his hand from _whatever_ he has been touching underneath his blanket.

Edward blushes immediately. Envy, on the other hand, instantly regains his composure, before asking: "Didn't your mother teach you how to knock on doors?" Edward gulps while stubbornly forcing himself to avert his eyes from that bulge between his enemy's legs, that is consisting of black blanket-fabric.

"Oh, I had no idea. You actually do know how to keep your bloody mouth shut", remarks Envy in his typical mocking tone. "Shut up!" "There he is again. The _naughty_ hothead." That is it: "Stop calling me _naughty_!" Envy groans theatrically, before slowly getting up. After he has turned his back on Edward, he stretches his torso.

As last time, he is having a hard time averting his eyes from Envy's slim, muscular back. "First, you prohibit me from calling you _pipsqueak_. And now you don't even allow me to call you _naughty_. What a mean boy you are." Edward does not answer verbally. Instead, he just bares his teeth. But his enemy cannot see him.

And much to Ed's surprise, Envy just changes the subject all of a sudden: "Whatever. Why are you here anyway, huh?" The guest's speechlessness suits his enemy just fine: "Don't tell me you came here _to listen to some music with me_." "Envy!" Envy answers with an unreadable look. "We need to talk! Now! Come!", commands Ed before quickly exiting the room. Envy is confused...

OOO

In the meantime, Jean Havoc is lighting up a cigarette. At the moment, he is sitting in his driver's seat whereas Solaris Lust is sitting next to him. His car is parking in the woods, not far away from the Bradley house. The radio is playing Lana Del Rey's _Music to Watch Boys To._ Other than that, one can only hear deafening silence at first.

"So... Did you just call me to _not_ talk with me, let alone fuck me?", asks Solaris Lust in a sarcastic tone. Jean sighs. "Sorry. It's nothing... Just that..." "Yes...?" "Forget it." "Go ahead. You can tell me anything", whispers Lust with a conspiratorial smirk. Jean sighs a second time. "It's about my sister..." Lust discreetly rolls her eyes.

At that moment, she would love to tell Jean everything about her ex-boyfriend and his half-sister. But since that would not be the most clever move, she just sits there and listens patiently, while secretly deciding to ask avenger angel Envy for advice later on. _"Just you wait, Winry, you blonde piece of shit! I'll definitely have the last laugh!"_


	13. Body Electric

**IMPORTANT INFORMATION AHEAD:**

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own anything, not the brand names, not the song titles and especially not Fullmetal Alchemist.

 **Content:** Lemon warning. Shocking, right? ;D

 **Pairing:** May and Alphonse will be endgame. But except for Mayphonse, nothing is home and dry yet (;

 **Allusion:** I bet you did not miss the Brotherhood-quotes in the last chapter. (Reminder: End of FMAB-EP. 14). The allusion in this chapter is inspired by the conversation between BH-Envy and BH-Marcoh in EP. 24. The nickname, Roy is going to give Edward in this chapter, will not require further explanation.

 **\- Chapter 13: Body Electric -**

"Listen, Envy. I'm gonna ask you straightforward!", announces Edward with one of his characteristic determined looks while both of them are leaning against a trunk in the wood, down their living street. "Be my guest", hisses Envy, his eyes narrowed and his smirk widened. "Okay then. What were you talking about in Greed's room?" Envy answers with mischievous laughter.

However, this time Edward does not allow him to tease him. Therefore, he is stubbornly keeping his composure despite his inner seething. "We both know what I was talking about. You really think that I don't know what's going on in the bedroom next door, huh?" Edward gulps. Envy's fight-fire-with-fire-strategy hits him anew each time.

But Ed is not ready to give up yet: "You're wrong, I don't have the slightest clue." "Oh yes, you do." "No, I freaking don't -!" Envy snorts. "You know what? They told me, Americans were hypocrites but I'm starting to think that no one fits that description better than you do. I mean, you invaded our school." He pauses, just to blow a raspberry.

"You, with your stupid Katniss Everdeen-idealism, giving ridiculous speeches about tolerance and justice, and encouraging minorities to be proud of whatever the fuck puts them in the position of a minority in the first place. However, when it comes to your own _otherness_ , you suddenly lock yourself in a cupboard. Et c'est dommage, mon _très_ petit ami..."

Edward cannot believe his ears: _"Fuck, damnit! Since when are psychopaths entitled to be so fucking genius? And when did he find the time to learn French, anyway? And to sound so fucking ho - No! Stop it, Ed! You can't let him win this battle! Fire with fire, remember? I just have to find a way to irritate him!"_

He gulps, before confidently asking: "Hey Envy, why me, huh? Why not just somebody else?" Ivan Envy's nonplussed look causes Edward to smirk triumphantly. But his enemy has not capitulated yet: "I can tell you what's so _tempting_ about you." Edward is confused for a moment: _"Did he seriously just say 'tempting'?"_

"I _love_ how you burst out, no matter what I tell or call you. And after you'd moved here, I've even stopped harassing Fuery. Not because of your sweet wannabe-blackmailing on Halloween but because of Kain's weakness. Whenever I try to challenge him, he just backs down, cries behind closed doors. You know? Plays the victim and stuff."

"He plays the...? What the fuck...?" "And you know what? In the long term, it's no fun to torture a _victim_." Envy is slowly coming closer. "I'm tired of those who already _are_ victims. I rather prefer those, who _become_ victims. _My_ victims, to be more precise." Another _gong_ that is announcing that the tables have been turned again.

But Ed's mask of self-confidence is not fully broken yet: "You want _me_ to _become_ your victim? Well, go ahead, Envy! I'm not afraid of you!" "Is that so? Then why are we having this conversation in the first place?", retorts Envy mockingly. Ed is speechless. "You don't need to say anything, I already know the answer anyway. Therefore, we should talk about the next steps now."

"The next steps...?" "Exactly. Willingly or not – by moving here, you did me a great favour. It was about to get tedious in Amestris, but your arrival changed that. Therefore, I'd love to recompense you for serving as my _sacrifice_. Let's call it an _equivalent exchange_." "How about killing yourself then?", retorts Edward.

For a second, Envy does not react to that quick-witted answer. However, he quickly regains his composure: " _Naughty_ _boy_." "Stop calling me that!", hisses Edward through gritted teeth but Envy just ignores him: "So, I figured out three ways to torture you. And you are completely free to choose the option you'd prefer the most." "What the fu-?"

"First option. I'm going to ignore you from now on and torture your friends and your precious brother instead." "Hey, Envy, I'm warning you! Touching Al or one of our friends – including Greed – will be your end!" Secretly, Envy feels quite intimidated by Ed's killer-face. After all, he knows full well that Ed is one of those people who would even commit a murder to protect his loved ones.

Still wearing his _not-impressed_ -mask, Envy rolls his eyes. "Fine. Next try, then. I'll leave everyone – including you, Greed, Fuery and the rest of your beloved freak show – alone. Instead, I'm going to torture your _favourite teacher_." Ed is confused: "Wait, are you talking about -?" "Mr Mustang? Oh yes, I am." "But... That doesn't make any sense! Why would I care about that bastard?"

"Interesting question. Judging by that, I assume that you made your choice, huh?", asks Envy with a provoking look. "NO!", objects Ed impulsively. Seeing Envy's smirk widen, he quickly adds: "Because, you know? I'm curious about the last option!" "Oh, I bet that this is the reason. Anyway, Let's talk about the third option." "I'm listening, fuckhead!", hisses Ed with bared teeth.

" _Good_ boy. So, I'll forget all the others in order to focus on your life, _completely_." "And then what? Are you going to tell the others what you think you're knowing? That your brother might be bisexual an stuff? If so, just go ahead, Envy! But don't be too disappointed afterwards, because no one's gonna believe you!"

"Pah! That's hilarious! You really think, I'd tell anyone about your and my brother's perverse _experiments_?" Ed is more than confused. Yet he does not dare to interrupt his enemy. "What a naïve _human being_ you are! You may be a maths genius but you're definitely a fool in terms of _la_ _psychologie des humans_! I mean, why should I do Ling Greed such a great favour?" "What the -?"

"Telling everyone that he might be bisexual would only enlarge his popularity amongst his despicable, male fans! Not to mention the fact that our father would definitely freak out, to say the least! Ling Greed would knock one out at the thought of that crisis scenario! And you..." _"Uh-oh... What's next...? Please, no more French talking!"_ , mutters Edward inwardly.

"You would immediately _Kain Fuery away_ , lock yourself in your bloody cupboard again and leave me alone on the battle field! But you know what?", hisses Envy, before suddenly pushing Edward's back against the trunk and whispering the following words into his ear: "No one, except for me, is allowed to lock you in there! Or to punish you, you _naughty_ boy!"

Edward does not know what to do, let alone what to say. Ironically, Envy himself defuses the situation automatically after having taken a few steps back. "Anyway. These are your three, or let's better say _two_ options. What will it be, huh?" Although Edward is gradually regaining his composure – which is due to their current physical distance – he still does not know what to say.

"No way. That fool is actually struggling. But maybe I can help!", snorts Ivan Envy with a raised eyebrow and a mocking smirk, before suddenly coming closer again. So close, that Edward can virtually feel his cold breath on his own neck. As a result of this, the shorter boy does not move. _Despite_ his characteristic hot-headedness.

"You said it already. You don't care about that bastard. So all you have to do is stick to your own words. Fool, you just have to forsake one hated person to save your entire life. Too bad you don't have the stomach to do the logical thing. I shouldn't be surprised, that's just how you are, you put emotion before common sense. You are so easy to take advantage of. Lucky me", chuckles Envy.

"And you call yourself a scientist? Pah", he adds before restlessly bursting into mocking laughter. Ed, who has finally become active again, clenches his fingers. But Envy has not finished speaking yet: "They say, me and my family are the sins. _Thank God_ , you're not a religious person. Because what you and my _greedy_ brother are doing wouldn't quite please the Lord, either."

Envy's smirk widens while he is whispering the last words: "Or let's better say – what _you_ are _doing_ to _him_. You remind me of that snake in the _Fall of Man_ , you _little_ _wannabe-scientist_." And just like that, Envy's back is being pushed against the opposite trunk. But Edward's act of violence does not intimidate him at all. Instead, it just makes him chuckle maniacally.

"What's your problem, dammit? You just need to choose the Mustang-option and you'll never get in touch with me again." Silence. Only the voices in Ed's head are deafening: _"Screw you, mouth! Why don't you just say that bastard's name? Envy can't hurt him anyway! I mean, he's Playroy Mustard! And I don't even like him! No, I hate him! He's trying to hit on my mother!"_

Edward gulps. _"And the palm tree said it himself! I just have to say Mustang's name and that's it! From then on, he'll never get in touch with me again...!"_ "Doesn't that offer sound _deliciously_ good?" While asking that last question, Envy is coming so close that his lips timidly brush his enemy's neck. As a result of this, Edward stiffens restlessly.

His face – including his mouth and eyes – as well as his entire body, and especially his mind are completely out of action at that very moment. Or at least out of control. Therefore, he is _not_ able to prevent himself from announcing: "THREE, DAMNIT!" Envy abruptly removes his lips from his enemy's neck, his look thoroughly surprised.

However, Ed cannot see it since he is just too busy standing transfixed. Envy, on the other hand, is still distracted by his own amazement and thus does not realise that his enemy is even more astounded by his own choice. But as usual, Envy quickly regains his composure: "Well, well, would you look at that, you've just personally signed your own _death warrant_."

These words and that smirk are just too unbearable. As a consequence, Edward is instantly becoming active again: "Really, huh? Guess what, Envy! I chose that option for a reason!" With a fearless look in his eyes, Edward is coming closer. So close that their foreheads almost touch. "See? You're not the only one _who hates to be alone on the battle field_!"

"Nicely said. But the theory has never been your problem. The practical part is." "Hey, don't underestimate me, Envy! I know your methods! And your mind games won't work! Because I'm forearmed!" "Well. If so, you apparently don't know about my _secret weapon_ yet." "Oh come on! I know that you don't own a gun!"

"Oh my. I love how _foolish_ you can be at times.", snorts Ivan Envy with a mocking smirk. "Wha...? Say that again!", hisses Edward with a clenched fist. "Sorry, but no. I won't tell you anything. Because from now on, I'm going to leave you in the _dark_ about everything that _will_ _come_ next. But just to give you a hint..."

Suddenly, he grasps Edward's ponytail and pulls it so vigorously downwards that his victim is forced to look up to the sky. However, he is keeping his eyes closed. "It'll hurt in so many various ways, you can't even think of", whispers Envy into his ear, while the shorter boy is stubbornly compressing his lips to prevent himself from screaming with pain.

It is only when he suddenly feels something _hard_ between his legs, that Edward abruptly opens his eyes again. His face and body regions are stone still. But at the same time, his body is paradoxically _electric_. The first thing that he notices, when he can finally move again, is that Ivan Envy has vanished. Just like that.

Just like a ghost. But that definitely was not a ghost: There is this _way-too-delicious_ scent in the air which must be his enemy's fragrance or something. Whatever it is, it proves that Edward was not hallucinating: A few seconds ago, Ivan Envy Bradley _did_ have an erection, after his worst enemy of all people had accidentally triggered it...

OOO

"A trip to Paris? _This_ evening?", asks Winry with a confused look while she and her flatmates are having lunch. Her half-brother nods. "Right. I know that you want to see that city so desperately and it would just be the two of us. Like a brother-sister-thing." "That's nice, brother. And the idea itself is very... Sweet. But it's already Saturday, so how are we supposed to return before Monday?"

"Forget Monday! You can take one or two days off!" Roy and Winry raise their brows in reaction to Havoc's idea. "What? It's okay, Winnie never skips school!", argues Jean. "You're right, but... I just don't know if that's such a good idea..." "Oh come on, Winnie! Roy, say something to her!" Roy shrugs, before rising to speak: "Well, Winry. You probably like Paris."

OOO

After having reflected about it, Winry decides to pack her own as well as her brother's clothes. "Havoc. You're unbelievable", remarks Roy. Jean, who is standing next to his best male friend in the kitchen, answers with a goody-goody look. "Why? My sister insisted! Besides, she can do it better than me! My suitcase explodes almost every time when I pack my things!"

"Hey, that's not what I was talking about! I mean, why are you following _her_ advice? And yes, I'm referring to the woman, you're merely supposed to sleep with." "Shh!", hisses Jean and closes Winry's bedroom door so that she cannot overhear their conversation. "What? She's old enough to know that you're having affairs!" "Still! We don't need to rub it in her _innocent_ face, Roy!"

Roy rolls his eyes. "Seriously, Havoc. I don't get it. Since when do lovers fell free to interfere in your family issues? Unless..." "Unless _what_?", asks Jean with a confused look. Roy's smirk widens. " _Unless_ this mysterious _she_ is more for you than just a sex kitten?" "Gross. What an inappropriate word coming from a so-called _gentleman_ , Roy!"

"You didn't answer my question, Havoc." "That wasn't even a proper question! More something like an assumption!" "Still. So?" Jean rolls his eyes. "Fine! You win! She's indeed more than just a _sex kitten_ for me...!" "Which is lovely and all. But if so, how is it that we haven't met her yet, huh?" "You haven't met her yet because...!"

Jean abruptly lowers his voice: "Because we're more like friends with benefits!" "Nonsense, Havoc. There must be another reason!" Havoc does not answer. As a consequence, Roy becomes suspicious: "What, huh? Is she too old?" "What? No!" "She's too young then?" Silence. "For God's sake, Havoc, is she a minor?" "No, she isn't!", clarifies Jean. _"Not any more"_ , he adds inwardly.

"Hell no... Don't tell me she's one of our students!" Havoc open his mouth to answer when his sister suddenly enters the kitchen and thus saves her half-brother's arse. However, Roy secretly decides to save that one particular question for later. Preferably for a moment when he and Jean – one of his two best male friends – will be alone again...

OOO

When Solf later looks out of his kitchen window, he coincidentally sees his two neighbours from 3b leave the residential building with two suitcases in their hands. Consequently, he is quite confused. But his stream of thought gets cut off, when Ling Greed, who is sitting on the couch with his arms crossed behind his neck, rises to speak: "Hey you! You haven't told me the story to your shiner yet!"

"Oh please. That's not that big a deal." "So you say. But that's by far not enough to satisfy my curiosity", answers Ling Greed nonchalantly. Kimblee rolls his eyes and smirks. "Fine. The culprit's name is Edward Elric." "No way!" "Oh yes." Ling Greed chuckles amusedly, before relaxedly asking: "So you're screwing your blonde neighbour then, I guess?"

"What gives you that idea?" "Come on. I'm not stupid, mate. If your friendship wasn't that scandalous, you already would have told me about it." Kimblee does not answer right away since he is being too busy badmouthing him inwardly: _"What an arrogant arsehole. He really thinks that he's a threat to me."_

"Yo, Kimblee. Are you there?", asks Ling Greed with a raised brow. "Yeah." "Good. So. I'm listening?" "Huh?", asks Kimblee, who is pretending to be clueless. But his friend does not buy it: "You know what I'm talking about. I want all the sordid details, _of course_!" "Tcha, if so, go ahead and see it for yourself." "Well. I'd love to. But sadly, I'm not allowed to."

"Why is that?" "Ask your shiner", retorts Greed sarcastically. Kimblee is visibly surprised: "Since when do you stick to the so-called _Bro Code_ , huh?" Ling Greed shrugs. "No idea." "You like him, don't you?", asks Kimblee nonchalantly. "Yeah. Ed's cool." "No, that's not what I mean." "Huh...?", asks Ling Greed with a confused mien.

"What I mean is that Edward Elric is not just a _possession._ He's more like the brother, you never had, am I right?" Ling Greed rolls his eyes. "For fuck's sake, Kimblee. Just spare me your pseudo-psychology. Real friends and _bros_ just aren't my cup of tea." Deliberately or not – Ling Greed is definitely lying. And Kimblee is aware of that. But he does not know the whole truth.

Solf thinks that Edward is Ling Greed's only best friend. However, he does not consider _himself_ one of Ling Greed's best friends. And that is for the simple reason that Ling Greed would never stick to the _Bro Code_ when it comes to his girlfriends. He is too greedy after all. But apparently, he does stick to it when Edward Elric asks him to.

At least on the theoretical level: "You shouldn't fuck the Rockbell-girl. She belongs to Ed." "You're such a sexist at times", remarks Kimblee dryly. "Besides, Ed's not my bro _–_ sorry, _possession of course_ – which means that I don't need to stick to any rules." "Come on, that has nothing to do with friendship. It's a question of decency." Kimblee answers with amused laughter.

"You, of all people, are talking to me about _decency_? You slept with all of my exes!" "Yeah, but I always asked for your permission beforehand and you kept telling me that you were cool with it. Ed, on the other hand, doesn't quite like the idea of your _trip to Australia._ " "I see. If Ed doesn't like it, it must stop, of course", retorts Kimblee with a sarcastic grin.

However, Ling Greed is one of the few people who are able to read Kimblee's face. Even a fake one: "Hey, what's the deal with you two, mate?" "Sorry, but I don't know what you're talking about." "Yes, you do. Don't tell me Envy poisoned your mind against him." "Don't get me wrong but you're obviously overestimating Envy's influence on me."

" _Obviously_ , I'm not. Unless, you're having a crush on that girl." "Well. I'm willing to admit that she's indeed sort of entertaining." "But...?" "Like I said, I don't owe him anything. If he likes her that much he can have her. But as long as he's too proud to fight for the girl he likes, everyone's allowed to have sex with Win. Well, unless it isn't mutual, of course."

Ling Greed does not answer which gives Solf the opportunity to put his best friend in an awkward situation this time: "Well, then. Let's leave _Australia_ behind and move on to _Azerbaijan_. Because I'm definitely not the only one who's withholding information." "Information about _what_?" Solf answers with a conspiratorial smirk. "About your naughty games with your roommate."

Ling Greed cannot believe his ears: _"Envy is a dead man."_ "Why so silent, _mate_?", asks Kimblee with a mocking grin. But Ling Greed has always been good at keeping his emotions a secret from others. As relaxedly as ever, he answers: "Well, it was nice." Kimblee raises an eyebrow. "Really, huh?" "Yeah. We didn't fuck though. We just kissed. And then, I watched him masturbate."

" _What the fuck? Ling Greed watches other boys masturbate...?"_ "I know what you're thinking now. Trust me, I was surprised too." "I see. Looks like your male fans have reason to get their hopes up, huh?" "Nope. Ed's the only male person whose chopper I'm interested in. And Mustang of course." "Interested...?" "Yeah." "As in ' _I'd fuck him if he asked me to_ '-interested?"

"Who? Mustang or Ed?" "Ed." "Well, then yes. But I'd definitely watch Mustang masturbate too. Nothing more than that, though. I'm not bisexual enough to fuck two men." "Interesting." "Why is that interesting?" "Because I never would have considered you or Edward Elric a bisexual." "Like I said – I'm not. I'm more like _Edwexual_."

"Wow. That boy really is like a drug", remarks Kimblee dryly. "At least from my point of view. And Lust's. And Winry's. And the _White Rabbit's_." That rings a bell: "Speaking of the _White Rabbit_. How is it that Edward thought that I had something to do with it? I'm just asking because I didn't even know what he was talking about."

"Well, as far as I know, _he_ was Edward's first male fuck. It happened on Halloween. And Ed has no idea who that person is." "So you told him that this costume belonged to me?" "Sorry, but I didn't know that the _White Rabbit_ was gay, at first. But speaking of that costume – who is the person you borrowed it from, anyway?"

"Your brother." "What the...?" "But hey, it wasn't Envy. The costume has been hanging in my wardrobe the entire time while Edward Elric was having sex with that anonymous boy." "What a coincidence." "Do you think so?" "Don't you?", asks Ling Greed, still relaxedly but with a raised eyebrow at the same time.

"Well, let's see. There are many people who have seen Envy as the _White Rabbit_ at that other party before. Now there's this one guy who wants to take revenge on your brother for whatever the fuck. And in order to achieve that, he puts Envy's most famous costume on and then fucks his currently worst enemy. A brilliant plan. But it had a hole."

"Yes, because Envy's costume has an _alibi_." "Precisely." "And have you told Envy about the _White Rabbit_ -incident already?" "Not yet. But perhaps I should. Because it looks like your brother has an enemy out there." Ling Greed does not answer. Because at that very moment, he unwillingly has to think about their anonymous stalker.

However, he already knows for sure that the _White Rabbit_ cannot be _D._ since Edward told him that _D._ had worn another costume that night. "Hey? Are you there?" Ling Greed nods. "You don't need to inform Envy, by the way. I will do it", he announces with an amused smirk on his face. "Let me guess. You can't wait to see your brother's face afterwards, huh?" "Exactly, mate."

OOO

"FUCK YOU, GREED!", rants Ivan Envy after having heard the news. Ling Greed keeps his composure, despite his inner bout of laughter. "Relax, okay? I know that someone's trying to destroy you but none of this is my fault." "Hey, don't act as if you weren't enjoying the situation right now!" "Believe me, brother mine. I may not show it, but I _do_ enjoy the situation _indeed_."

"Well, I don't! Because _unlike you_ , I don't suck choppers!", hisses Envy spitefully. "I already know that you peeped through my keyhole, so save it." "Oooh! Did the pipsqueak have a good cry on your shoulder?" "Nope. But I saw Kimblee today. And in view of the fact that he's the only one to whom you broke the news so far, it's safe to assume that you won't tell anyone else what you saw."

"Don't be so sure!", chuckles Envy with a conspiratorial smirk. "Well, but I am. Because I know how that _ugly_ brain of yours work." " _YOU!_ " "Besides, we both know that spreading rumours about my alleged bisexuality wouldn't do me any harm. And telling others about that library-incident would damage you more than Edward Elric. Because everyone knows about your costume."

"That's quite irrelevant! Because Kimblee had my costume that night!" "Says who?" "Bastard! You know that I'm not gay! Just like everybody else does!", hisses Envy with an upset look. " _Says who?_ ", repeats Ling Greed with a provoking smirk. Envy does not answer. Because at that moment he is too busy trying to keep his cool.

"Anyway. Looks like you'll have to wait until Ed has sex with another boy, in case you want to out him. And until then, I can do whatever I want with him! Which means that _you_ are the one who should turn the music louder from now on!" Envy's only answer is a withering look. But Ling Greed does not react to that. Instead, he just nonchalantly walks away...

OOO

Since that weird afternoon in the woods, Edward has been still walking through Amestris, in the hope that he would calm down eventually. But too no avail. That is why, he decides to pay _someone_ a visit: "Mr. Mustang. Hello." "Edward Elric?", asks Roy with a surprised look. "Yeah, well. I hope I didn't come at an inopportune moment...?" "No, you didn't! Come in!" "Thanks... But before I come in, there's just one more thing..." "What thing?" And just like that, Roy gets punched...

OOO

"Damnit. Tell me the truth – your right fist is made of metal, isn't it?", mutters Roy Mustang, who is pressing a wet cloth against his cheek, a few minutes later. "Nope. It's even crooked", retorts Edward, who has already made himself at home, nonchalantly. "You can tell your female neighbour in 3a what I did, if you like."

"Nice try, _Fullmetal_. But _if_ I reported you to the police, I'd surely not talk to a cop who happens to be your friend's stepsister." Ed rolls his eyes. "Come on, I'm sorry, okay? But to be fair – you were trying to hit on my mom! And you probably still are! And what the hell – _Fullmetal_?" "Yeah. I think that fits. Our famous mangaka Yoki made it up, by the way. As for your mother... You're wrong."

"I am...?" "Yes, you are. But somehow, I just can't get rid of the feeling that your mother isn't the main reason for my shiner." "Really, huh...?" "Yes. You're still vexed about the tutor-thing with Envy Bradley, aren't you?" "Right... Yeah..." Roy answers with a sceptical look. "What happened...?" "Nothing!" "Come on, something's bothering you."

"Who cares? And what's all the more important – why do you even care after what I did to you, a few minutes ago?" "Because I know that you didn't come here to beat me up in the first place." "Well, you're wrong." "And you're a terrible liar. Hey, how about a deal? You tell me, what's going on and I won't tell the police about my newest accessory. Let's call it an _equivalent exchange_."

Edward answers with a disgusted look. "Hey, don't use these words ever again! Especially not in my presence!", he commands grumpily. "You're in no position to make demands! So speak!" For a moment, Edward is feeling quite intimidated by his maths teacher's rigorous tone and the matching facial expression. Therefore, it takes Ed a while to dare to speak again.

After having blown out his cheeks, he finally mutters: "Fine. But don't breathe a word of this! Ever!" "Don't worry, I know I can keep a secret." "I bet you can. Whatever. Envy declared war on me today. This time _officially_." "How?" "Well, he's given me three options. The first option was no option to begin with. The second one just concerns me. And the third one you."

"I see. So you came here to warn me?" "No, bastard! I came here to take my anger out on you! Anger that's resulted from my own stupidity!" Roy is visibly astonished: "Wait... So you sacrificed yourself for me...? Despite the fact that somebody like him couldn't harm me anyway?" "Are you deaf? That's what I'm saying!"

Roy is secretly touched. Nevertheless, he just cannot leave his sarcasm alone: "Wow. Looks like you've already started to accept me as your new daddy, huh?" "SO NOT FUNNY, _MUSTARD_!", shouts Ed. Roy answers with amused laughter. "Okay, okay, calm down, I'm just kidding. Tell me more about your feud with the palm tree."

Edward is truly having a hard time holding back a giggle in reaction to that name. "Does he have something on you? Like a secret?" "Actually, yes. But he won't use it, so." "Why not?" "Because of a third person that is involved too." "Okay..." "And that's not the point anyway! I mean, he's Envy! Which means that he can torture me without any blackmailing included."

"Right, because you're allowing it." "What...?" "Listen, Ed. I really appreciate Kain Fuery. Especially his IT-abilities. But let's face it – he is an easy victim. Sad but true. You, on the other hand, aren't a victim at all! So why don't you just end this stupid game of his?" "It's not that simple!" "Why not?" "Because...!" "Because you're secretly enjoying it."

"Wow, wait a sec! What are you trying to say?" "I don't know why. But I'm starting to think that you chose that particular option for the simple reason that you can spend more time with him that way." "ARE YOU NUTS OR SOMETHING?" "Not at all. And instead of yelling at me again, you should rather focus on Envy's ulterior motives." "What...?"

"You heard me. Ever wonder why he's so _obsessed_ with you in the first place? And what made him stop terrorizing _victims_ overnight?" "Well... He's Envy! He doesn't just terrorize victims! He terrorizes all sorts of people! Even his own brother!" "Right. My theory is that he terrorizes victims to feel better about himself and popular boys like his brother out of jealousy. But you aren't -"

"Popular? I know..." "No, that's not what I wanted to say. Believe me, I know how popular you are, especially among girls. But according to your own words, Envy had first attacked you before the girls at school have even met you. Besides, Envy usually terrorizes people _en passant_. He doesn't dedicate himself to their lives." "So...?"

"So, there must be another reason why he _does_ dedicate himself to your life despite everything." "Spit it out, Sherlock!" "You foolish boy. _Needless to say_ – Ivan Envy Bradley wants to have sex with you." Edward golden eyes widen immediately and so does his mouth. "Oh, come on. There's no way you didn't know." "What are you, nuts? I didn't know anything because none of this is true!"

"Of course it is." "Then why is he terrorizing me instead of flirting with me, huh?" "Well. I guess, this is just his idea of flirting. Also, I don't think that he hates you _despite_ his attraction to you. I rather think that he hates you _precisely because_ of that. After all, that would make him at least bisexual. And I don't think that his family would tolerate that."

"That's nonsense! Ling Greed and Lust have gay friends too! And Selim Pride looks down at everyone, regardless of gender, sexuality and race!" "Wow. What a fair-minded young gentleman he is. Nonetheless – their father and their sister Sloth are definitely... _Conservative_. Trust me. And what if Envy himself is a homophobe, either?" "You mean like a homosexual homophobe?" "Right."

"But... Isn't that too cliché?" "Yes, but it's still possible. Like I said, that's probably the reason why he hates you in the first place. I mean, maybe you're his first male crush or something." "That's nonsense." "Is it? Then tell me – has he ever tried to touch you?" Ed does not answer. Because right now he is too busy banishing all sort of thoughts of Envy. "Okay, I think the answer is clear."

"To hell with you, _Mustard_! Stop mocking me and tell me what to do, already!" Roy rolls his eyes in reaction to that nickname. "What a silly question, young man. Even for you." "Hey, _Playroy_! Not helping!", retorts Ed sarcastically. "Then let me explain this to you. Right now, you have several options!" "Hell, no. Again the option-thing?" "Quiet, and listen!" Edward unwillingly obeys.

"First off, you have to get clear about your feelings for him. If you're having the hots for him too, just go have sex with him. _Safer_ sex, of course." "HEY!" "However, if you're not interested in that game, you can just tell him that you've changed your mind. That he should _torture_ me instead of you." "What...?" "I can deal with Envy, don't you worry about that." "So can I!"

"Well, that doesn't matter. Because the question isn't whether you _can_ deal with him. But whether you _want_ to do it." "I don't wanna deal with him!" "Are you sure about that? Because your behavior clearly proves otherwise." Silence. "Hey, come on, just tell me the truth. Are you afraid of the possbility that you might be bisexual...? Or perhaps even ashamed...?" Deafening silence.

But then: "Possibly..." Roy nods slowly. "I see. But frankly, I'm a little astonished. I never would have considered you a homophobe." "Hey, I'm not a homophobe, okay?" "But?" "Well... I'm just afraid of _their_ reaction..." "Whose reaction...?" "My Sensei's... My Mother's... And..." "Your brother's?" "Yeah..." "Okay..."

"I mean, I _do_ know that they're absolutely okay with homosexuality _in general_. But other than that, I'm clueless... Besides, that's not even the main problem..." "Then what is the main problem...?" "Well, I still don't know _for sure_ whether I'm bisexual at all..." "Wait, so what exactly are we dealing with? Bisexuality versus homosexuality or bisexuality versus heterosexuality?" "The latter."

"So you definitely are attracted to girls?" "Yes, that's for sure!" "But you still have to find out whether you're attracted to boys either?" "Yeah..." "Well, that's simple. Have you ever slept with a man?" "Yes, but that doesn't count. He wore a mask and I didn't even know his sex at first. At least not until shit got real." "Are you serious...?" Ed nods silently, his look thoroughly embarrassed.

"Okay, whatever. You definitely have to give it another shot. Have sex with another man. But be more careful." "Don't worry, I don't have AIDS." Roy answers with a dry look. "Besides, how am I gonna find another male sex partner?" "Well, as far as I know, you don't need to _find_ anybody. You already have a _potential buyer_." Ed cannot believe his ears: "Are you fucking kidding me?"

"No, I'm downright serious. And genius. Think about it! If Envy takes the offer, you'll finally have something on him! That way, you can blackmail him!" "How pedagogical, Mr. Mustang." "Quiet and let me finish speaking! Because I was actually gonna say that _maybe_ you won't be even needing to do it. I mean, who knows? _Maybe_ he won't hate you any longer when you finally start dating."

"Hey, the hell I will _start_!" "Still not finished speaking, you nag!" Edward rolls his eyes. "Fine. Go on, _teacher_ ", he grunts. "Thank you, _Fullmetal_. Now... You could also just forget about all this. You could stop questioning your sexuality and just find yourself a nice girlfriend." Mr Mustang's student answers with a puzzled look...

OOO

Much to his surprise, Edward feels a lot better after his unconventional conversation with his teacher. Before he left the residential building, he had sincerely apologised. And Roy gladly accepted it. At the moment, he is heading for the door of number 66 again, while listening to Lana Del Rey's _Body Electric_.

It is already late on a Saturday which means that the majority of the Bradley family members will probably not be home. Entering the living room, he comes across Selim Pride. "Hey, Selim." "Edward." Edward discreetly rolls his eyes in reaction to Selim's behaviour towards him. "Where is everyone?", he asks then.

"Well, let's see... Father is visiting his friend Clemin, your mother is getting ready for our promenade, your brother went to the cinema with that boy Kain Fuery, Sloth is with her _beloved_ fiancé and Lust is probably with somebody else's fiancé." Under different circumstances, Ed would probably laugh now but not under the following ones: "Your brothers are home?"

"Exactly. And I'd love to ask you to join me and your mother but apparently you just came here so why don't you go upstairs, huh?" Ed answers with an irritated mien. At that moment, he is wondering why Alphonse and his mother like the youngest Bradley. "Bye, _Pride_ ", he just mutters in an annoyed tone and stomps out of the room without awaiting an answer...

OOO

Upstairs, Edward almost bumps into Envy, who just exited the bathroom with nothing more than a black towel around his lower body. The guest halts abruptly which causes Envy to give him a quizzical look. "What's wrong, huh? Were you expecting to see my brother _half-naked_ instead of me or what?" Edward gulps.

But simultaneously, he is secretly being confused by Envy's not-mocking tone, that is definitely out of character: _"Why does he sound so serious while asking this question? I mean, does he really wanna know the answer? Or did he just forget to put his usual bully-smirk on?"_ Instead of waiting for an answer, Envy just heads for his bedroom and – while doing so – stretches his body again.

Ed inwardly slaps himself when he realises that he is enjoying this every time. But that is not the only thing, he would love to slap himself for: "Hey, Envy!" "Huh?", asks Envy without turning around. Consequently, Ed cannot see his enemy's curious look. Envy, on the other hand, cannot see Ed's insecure mien.

Awkward silence. But then: "Um, well... Will you go out to night?" "No... Why...?" Awkward silence again. But then: "No reason." Only now does Envy turn around, his mien confused. But Edward has already entered Ling Greed's room. "Pah! What a prat!", hisses Envy and stomps into his own bedroom...

OOO

 _Edward stomps out of Ling Greed's room, right into Ivan Envy's room. He does not know why he is doing it. He just does it. He does not even knock on the door before barging in. "Nice to see you again, pipsqueak", hisses Envy, who is sitting on his bed, with a mocking grin. "I'm warning you, Envy! You're crossing a line!"_

 _Envy answers with amused laughter before suddenly throwing a lacrosse stick at his enemy. Edward ducks just in time. After that, he furiously jumps at his enemy, so that he is sitting on his lap a few seconds later. Envy himself, on the other hand, is lying on the back. "Enough already! I'm so sick of your games!", hisses Edward._

" _Really, huh? I thought, you weren't ready to leave the battle field yet?" "I am! But you won't let me!" "That's so true." "But why? WHY?" Edward's obvious frustration is obviously so satisfying that Ivan Envy's manhood accidentally starts hardening again. Edward's golden eyes and mouth widen immediately in reaction to that._

 _He can virtually feel his enemy's erection growing between his own legs. Self-mortification is writ large in Envy's face. "Get off me!", he hisses with bared teeth. No answer. "Hey! I said, get off!", he repeats but Edward still does not answer. Envy helplessly tries to push him aside but to no avail. In reaction to that Edward starts laughing mischievously._

" _Ironic, isn't it, Envy? I started off as the victim but look how that ended up! Damn right! This time, you're being the vulnerable one! Not I!" Envy answers with a nonplussed look. But that does not stop Ed from continuing with the game: "You're wearing nothing more than a towel around your body. Ergo – this hard thing between my legs can't be a belt! It must be your..." Ed slurps._

" _Your penis... How come, Envy? How is it that you're having an erection while – of all people – the person you hate the most is sitting on your lap, huh?" Envy does not answer verbally. Instead he just gives him a killer-look. Edward hesitatingly reaches for Envy's left thigh. "Nice tattoo. An uroboros, huh? That reminds me of something – didn't you call me a snake, just a few hours ago?"_

 _While slowly sliding his hand up his enemy's body, Edward bends forward and whispers the following words into his ear: "You probably think that I'm a monster. But trust me, I hadn't been that way before I met you. And you know what? Back then, something else was different... I haven't started to fuck boys yet. Not until Halloween."_

" _You're disgusting!", hisses Ivan Envy with a hate-filled look. Edward answers with almost maniac laughter. "Who are you trying to fool, Envy?" Ed bends forward again, whispering: "You know? I know full well that you hate me. You told me that and I believe you. Because, like I said, I know it. But I also know..."_

 _Only now does Ed wrap his fingers around Envy's penis. "That you wanna fuck me in the first place..." "Nonsense...!", lies Envy. "Nice try, Envy. But you have to try harder, if you wanna convince me." Ed's lip are brushing his enemy's neck now. "I know you want it! Just admit it! I won't tell anybody!" "You're hallucinating, you creep!"_

" _Oh, come on! Maybe, I would have bought that one a few days ago. But not any more! Not after you licked my finger with that sharp tongue of yours. Do you remember? Or do I need to refresh your memory?"And just like that, Edward closes his eyes and slowly licks his enemy's bony Finger. Envy's body is paralysed and electric at the same time._

" _Oh. Am I still hallucinating or is this thing between my other fingers throbbing now, huh?", asks Edward with a horny smirk. That is more than Envy can take. As a consequence, he spins them around so that he is sitting on Edward's lap this time. After that, he takes off his enemy's shirt before slipping down his trousers as well as his boxer shorts. Edward is half-naked now._

 _But instead of penetrating him directly, Envy ties Edward's wrists up to the bedpost first. After that, he reaches for a whip that has been lying around under his bed the entire time. "Hey, Envy! What the freaking hell are you up to?" Envy answers with a vicious chuckle. "I adore your big, American mouth! I really do! But I won't tolerate it any longer! Because, you know?"_

 _With a maniac smirk on his face, Envy licks the thicker end of his black whip, hissing: "Naughty boys need to be punished! Dammit, your body is so fucking hot! What a shame that it'll be bleeding in a few minutes!" "That's by far not the only thing that's going to bleed!", retorts Edward with a hate-filled mien. Envy's only answer is a lascivious smirk. And then - WHIP -_


	14. You Can Be The Boss

**IMPORTANT INFORMATION AHEAD:**

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own anything, not the brand names, not the song titles and especially not Fullmetal Alchemist.

 **Content:** This chapter is going to be a downright lemon _tree_ ;D

 **Allusion:** Remember how Kimblee plays detective in Brotherhood? Good (;

 **\- Chapter 14: You Can Be The Boss -**

"NO!", screams Edward, after he has just started from his sleep. "Hey, are you okay, mate?", asks Ling Greed, who is sitting at his desk, with a raised eyebrow. Edward, who is lying in his friend's bed, just nods. He must have fallen asleep, after he had seen Envy in the corridor with nothing more than a black towel.

"Just a nightmare. Whatever. Where have you been? Pride said, you were home but when I came here, you weren't there." Ling Greed shrugs. "Oh yeah. I was searching for something in the attic. And I found it. When I came back, you were sleeping. Anyway. Do you want to see it?" "See what?", asks Edward with a curious look.

Greed answers with a conspiratorial smirk. After that, he reaches for a hookah that is lying behind the arm chair. "Oh my...! Greed, are you insane?" "Oh come on, don't be such a killjoy!", pouts Greed jocularly. "We've got something to celebrate!", he then announces. "You became a daddy?" "Ha, ha. Funny, mate. But no. We finally defeated our enemy." Ed answers with a confused look...

OOO

A few minutes later, Ed is inhaling the sweet flavour. "Not bad. What is that? Cherry?" "Peach", answers Ling Greed before grasping the pipe. "I knew, you'd like it." "Okay, okay. You win. It's quite _delicious_... I mean, tasty!" "Cool." "Yeah..." "So? What's biting you?" "I don't know... But I'm starting to think challenging your brother was a mistake... I mean, what exactly did you tell him?"

"That's a long story. Forget it." "Oh come on, that's not fair!", pouts Edward. Ling Greed rolls his eyes, his smirk naughty. "Okay, okay. Remember what you told me about the _White Rabbit_?" "Yeah... Why...?", asks Ed with a sceptical look. "Well. I know a person who's worn that costume before. And everyone has been calling him _White Rabbit_ for weeks, after he'd even won a contest."

"Who...?" "Envy." "WAIT, WHAT?" "Relax, okay? He didn't wear it this year. Solf had it and he didn't wear it either, so." "Uh... Right...", murmurs Ed. For some reason he does not feel like sighing with relief yet. "Anyway. The point is that Envy won't tell anyone about the _White Rabbit_ -thing. After all, he'd be the number-one-suspect."

"Wow, wow, wow, wait a sec! Envy didn't even know about the _White Rabbit_ -thing...!" "Yes. However, he _did_ know about you and me. But don't worry. Thanks to the _White Rabbit_ , he will keep his mouth shut from now on. And so far, he's only told one person about it. Kimblee." "WHAT?", asks Edward furiously.

"And one more time – don't worry! he won't tell anybody, not even Winry!" "You're sure about that?" "I am. Because if Winry knew about it, she'd like you even more than she already does." "What...? Are you serious...?" "Yes. She's always had a thing for those who are different." Edward smiles at the thought of Winry and her good-heartedness.

However, his smile vanishes immediately when he realises that some of his questions have not been answered yet. "But why would someone wear the same costume and then...?" "Who knows. Kimblee says that somebody's probably trying to take revenge on Envy that way." "I see... So the _White Rabbit_ was merely using me as a _human weapon_ , huh...?"

Ling Greed is slightly confused: "Is it just me, or are you a little gutted now?" "What? No!", fibs Edward. Ling Greed answers with a sceptical look. Edward rolls his eyes. "I mean it, okay? I don't care about that masked freak! He's not the problem! Your brother is! After all, the _White Rabbit_ isn't the first anonymous idiot that's torturing me because of him! And that's annoying as fuck!"

"Are you talking about _D._ or something...?" " _D._ is just another example. I mean, don't get me wrong! I'm not saying that the _White Rabbit_ or anyone else shouldn't be hating your brother. They definitely should! But why don't they just keep me out of it? I have nothing to do with it, for fuck's sake!", grunts Edward.

"Hey, I hear you. But I'm also wondering whether this is the only reason for your frustration...?" "What do you mean?", asks Ed, although he already knows the answer. "Well... I don't know. But maybe you were hoping that this person would turn out to be boyfriend material, whatsoever." "What? No! That bastard held a knife to my throat!"

"What the fuck?" "I swear!" Despite his relaxed posture, Ling Greed is actually quite puzzled at that moment: "Wow. If I didn't know better, I'd say that this person is -" " _D._?" "Yeah." "I know. But like I said, _D._ wore another costume. Therefore, it's impossible." "I know." "I mean, unless..." "Unless _what..._?" Edward's only answer is a shocked look...

OOO

"A team?", asks Lust in a whisper after her brother has told her everything on the phone, a minute ago. At the moment, she is standing at someone else's bedroom window and smoking a cigarette. Greed, on the other hand, is standing in his own kitchen. "Just think about it. That night, Ed was stalked by two different people. And don't forget, that someone burnt down his house, too."

Solaris Lust nods with a pensive mien. "You're right, Greed. There's no way one single person has made such a mess in only one night..." "Hey, why are you whispering?", asks Ling Greed with a raised brow. "Um, well...", murmurs his sister. "Oh, of course. You're probably getting laid right now, aren't you, sis?"

"What? No, you pervert! But yes, you're right about one thing, I'm not alone at the moment!" "Then why did you answer my call, in the first place?", asks Ling Greed. _"Because these days you never know what will happen next"_ , answers his sister inwardly. "I have to go. I'll call you later", she announces instead and presses the red button. After that, she sighs.

"Hey, who was it?", asks Kimblee, who just came out of nowhere, and is now wrapping his arms around her waist from behind. "Dammit, Kimblee! You scared the hell out of me!" Lust's ex-boyfriend raises an eyebrow. "If so, I assume that this was either your lover or one of your brothers." "What gives you that idea...?", asks Solaris with a confused look.

"Well. As far as I know, those three are the only people you're sharing your secrets with, recently", he answers nonchalantly. "I have no idea what you're talking about", she fibs. She may be a skilled liar but Kimblee is just too smart to believe her: "Nice try, Lusty." With a triumphant smirk on his face, he plonks himself down on his bed and crosses his arms behind his neck.

"But I'm not stupid. I know that something's bothering you and your siblings, lately. This mysterious person who gave Scar the money, the break-in at our school, the message on your wall, the doll at the Halloween party, the house fire, your whisperings... I don't believe in coincidences, you know?" Lust does not answer.

But her frightened look speaks volumes. "Come on, Lusty. Just tell me what's going on. You know you can trust me." "Is that so? Let's face it, darling! _No one_ can trust you! And right now, I can't help but wonder if it's you who's doing all that creepy stuff! We all have seen what you're capable of!" Kimblee answers with amused laughter...

OOO

"I'm willing to admit that some of these actions do bear my _signature_. But I'm afraid, I have to disappoint you. I have nothing to do with it." No one is saying a word, after Solf has nonchalantly protested his innocence. It is Sunday and Kimblee as well as six other teenagers, who are not necessarily the best friends, are having a meeting in 2b: Greed, Lust, Envy, Pride, Ed and Elicia.

It is only when Solaris notices Elicia's pensive mien, that she breaks the silence: "Hey, Elicia! What's wrong?" "No-nothing... I was just wondering what the connection between the seven of us might be. And the only thing I can think of is the _PSS_. I mean, we all go to the same school. And..." "And...?", ask the others in unison.

"Well... Solf, Edward and I are somehow connected to your family...", murmurs Elicia. Pride, Envy, Lust and Greed do not answer. "Elicia is right. I myself got the first call after I'd gotten into a fight with Envy... _Again_..." While muttering his last word, Edward darts a glance at Envy, who just smirks discreetly in reaction to that.

"Same goes for me and... _You_!", hisses Elicia. "If so, I advise you to leave me alone from now on!", retorts Selim snobbishly. Elicia does not answer verbally. Instead, she just sticks her tongue out. "But why would a person protect _and_ terrorise you guys at the same time? That doesn't make any sense", interposes Kimblee.

"Well. Unless we're talking about a team", he adds. "You mean... _D._ as in _duo_?", asks Elicia with a confused mien. Ling Greed, Solaris Lust, Ivan Envy and Selim Pride flinch immediately when they hear that word. And Kimblee as well as Edward have both noticed that. "Yeah. That's one possibility", answers Solf after a few seconds...

OOO

Elicia has to leave thirty minutes later. Greed escorts her to the _Dragon's Pulse_ , where her father is already waiting for her. "I'm glad she left already!", snorts Pride, who is still sitting in Scar's living room, with an annoyed mien. "And she's probably glad she doesn't have to see your face any more", retorts Lust. Envy chuckles amusedly. Pride, on the other hand, rolls his eyes...

OOO

Meanwhile, Edward is heading for the kitchen, where he can find _him_. "I was wondering when you'd come here", murmurs Solf mystifyingly. "Listen, Kimblee! I don't like you very much!" "Ouch. That hit home." "But I know that we have some things in common!" "Like Win-?" "Hey, I'm serious!", hisses Ed through gritted teeth. Kimblee chuckles amusedly.

After that, he suddenly strikes a more serious note: "All jokes aside. Because yes, I saw _it_ , too." "You mean that look they gave each other when the word _duo_ came up?" "Exactly." Ed nods. "I've already assumed that they were having secrets but now I'm 200% convinced." "Well... If so...", whispers Solf with a devious smirk. "What...?", asks Ed sceptically. Kimblee does not answer...

OOO

"So. Since your innocent neighbour Elicia isn't here any more, I can talk straightforwardly to you, my dear friends." Ling Greed, Lust, Envy and Pride, who are eating pizza at the moment, answer with quizzical looks in reaction to Solf's words. Edward, on the other hand, does not avert his eyes from his plate. Because secretly he is expecting the worst.

"Ensuring that I can live here with Scar wasn't the only thing _D._ did to me...", he then reveals. "And what else did he, she, it, they, fuckers did to you?", asks Ling Greed in a tone, that contains traces of apprehension in a way and thus, does not quite match his relaxed mien and posture. "Enough to get me locked up. And this time, I wouldn't even deserve it."

The others answer with puzzled looks. Except for Edward, who just shakes his head in disbelief. "You know what that means, guys. This person is trying to frame me, the ex-terrorist _Crimson_ _Lotus_ , for the house fire. Therefore, I'm eager to find out who this _duo_ is. Probably even more than you guys." The four siblings are speechless for the moment...

OOO

Kimblee's plan worked: Greed, Lust, Envy and Pride told them about the _second_ Hohenheim. Edward insulted them and stomped out of the flat. "Well done, _Solf J. Arsehole_!", hisses Lust. "What? For once in his life, he isn't mad at me. He's mad at you guys. Which means that I – unlike you – have nothing to feel guilty about, Lusty", retorts Kimblee with composure.

"If so, would you mind looking for him and try to talk with him too, before he burns down Amestris?", asks Greed. His tone contains worry as well as sarcasm. "Why should I?" "Because we have to clean the dishes", answers Lust convincingly. Solf does not answer. Instead, he discreetly rolls his eyes before exiting his own flat...

OOO

While closing the door from outside, Kimblee quietly announces: "The coast is clear." Only after a few seconds does Edward leave the dark corner he was hiding in. Solf grins amusedly in reaction to the other boy's gloomy look. "It's okay, you can stop frowning, they can't see you anyhow." "Shut it, Kimblee! That look of mine isn't part of our stupid farce! And so wasn't the chair, I just broke!"

Just when Solf is about to answer, they suddenly hear voices from inside which is why both of them start eavesdropping now: _"That is all your fault, Greed!" "Is that so, Pride?"_ , asks Ling Greed relaxedly. _"I can't believe I'm actually saying this, but the dwarf is right. Your feelings for Kimblee and Edward are clouding your judgement and our family has to bear the consequences!"_

" _Gross"_ , remarks Envy in reaction to Lust's poor choice of words. Edward, who is still eavesdropping, rolls his eyes. _"Your loss. Because even these two are more important to me than you guys are"_ , retorts Ling Greed, still with his natural composure. Or maybe just partly natural. Either way: These words make Kimblee and Ed smile inwardly.

" _Shut it, you idiot! Just because of you, we will all going to finish up in jail! They're probably cracking the riddle at this precise moment!"_ , hisses Ivan Envy this time. Only after a few seconds does Ling Greed finally rise to speak again: _"Who cares?" "What?"_ , ask his siblings in unison. Ed and Kimblee look at each other with quizzical miens for a moment.

" _You heard me. Kimblee and Edward would never run to the cops and tell them what happened. So why don't you just calm down already?" "You can't be serious, Greed"_ , mutters Lust dryly. _"Well, I am. And you know what else? If they were standing here right now, I'd tell them everything I know. Just give those smart-arses a few pieces of the puzzle and they'll unmask that bitch in five minutes."_

Nobody answers which gives Ling Greed the opportunity to go on: _"You know I'm right. And you would have realised that earlier but sadly, your emotions got in the way of simple logic. Think about it, brothers and sister."_ Deafening silence. But then: _"Come on, boys. We have to clean the dishes. We promised."_ Greed, Envy and Pride groan in unison in reaction to Lust's last words.

OOO

Objections and asynchronous footsteps are everything, Edward and Solf can hear at that moment. "Shit, I can't hear what they're talking, any more!", complains Ed. "Never mind, we heard enough." "No, we didn't! We don't know their secret yet!" Kimblee smirks conspiratorially, while retorting: "Precisely. We don't know it _yet_. But that's merely a matter of time."

"Get real, Kimblee!", hisses Edward hysterically. "Time is our biggest enemy at the moment! Because _D._ is a hell of an impatient person and trust me – I know what I'm talking about! Ask my brother, in case you shouldn't believe me, because he's the one who keeps reminding me of my impulsivity every day!"

"That won't be necessary because I perfectly believe you. But despite our lack of time and you lack of patience, we have to be careful. I know Ling Greed. Cornering him won't make him talk. Well, unless..." "Unless _what_?", asks Edward with a mistrustful mien. Kimblee's conspiratorial smirk widens. Consequently, Ed becomes even more suspicious of his intentions...

OOO

Entering his room, Ling Greed is surprised to see Edward lying on his bed. "Look who's there. Well? It's comfortable, isn't it? My bed, I mean." Ed does not answer. Because right now he is too busy dealing with his secret worries: _"I know, I told Kimblee I'd do it. But if Ling Greed isn't interested in more? What if Kimblee's just trying to trick me into making a fool of myself?"_

"Listen, mate", begins Ling Greed. And just like that, Edward's stream of thought gets cut off. His only answer is an attentive look at first. "I know that you're mad and you have every reason to be but -" "It's okay, Greed." "Wait, what?" Edward does not answer right away. Instead, he slowly gets up and heads for the door where Ling Greed is still standing.

"Let's just forget about that nonsense. At least, until that creepy priest returns from his journey, okay?" "O...Kay...", answers Ling Greed, question marks blinking in his violet eyes. Ed, who is now standing very close to him, smirks boldly. "Cool. Anyways, I'm gonna take a shower. Would you mind bringing me some towels and stuff? Thanks."

"Wait a sec, did no one tell you that you can find our towels in the locker in the corridor?" Nobody answers because Edward has already left the room. Ling Greed rolls his eyes in reaction to that. After all, serving people is something he is not a big fan of. But since he is still feeling guilty in a way, he just takes the trouble to give his guest the towels he has asked for...

OOO

" _Come in!"_ , offers Edward from inside after someone has knocked on the door. Ling Greed unsuspectingly enters the bathroom. It is only when he sees a fully naked Edward Elric standing in the shower, that he raises his eyebrows, a confused look in his eyes. "What the bloody hell...?", he asks. Edward gulps discreetly.

But Ling Greed does not notice at all how nervous the blond one is. "Thanks for bringing them. Please lock the door when you go." "Huh...? How am I supposed to lock the door from outside without locking you in here...? I'm afraid you will have to do it." "Well... Unfortunately, I'm already too wet to hop out... Shit, what now...?", pouts Ed, a goody-goody look in his eyes.

Only now does Ling Greed realise what his friend is trying to do. "Jesus, are you actually trying to seduce me, mate?", he asks with a naughty smirk. Ed blushes immediately. "N-no! I-I'm n-not! I-I s-swear!", he stammers. But Ling Greed has already taken the bait: Still smirking naughtily, he locks the door from inside and takes off his shirt, which causes Ed to slurp.

"Well, mate. I'm game, if you are." "B-but, I-I thought, y-you -" "Tcha, I guess, I changed my mind." And just like that, Edward regains his self-confidence, a triumphant smirk included. "I knew it!" "Knew what, huh?", asks Ling Greed with a rather challenging mien, while taking off his trousers and boxer shorts.

But instead of giving Ed the opportunity to boast, he just hops into the shower and pushes the shorter boy's back against the cold tiled wall. "That the moment I saw your _joystick_ for the first time made me realise that I want to fuck you? Well, you're damn right about that", he whispers with a naughty smirk. After that, he just starts kissing the younger boy. A willing tongue included.

However, Edward suddenly decides to _prove himself_ : Without warning, he aggressively pushes Ling Greed's back against the opposite wall. "What a dare-devil you can be at times", chuckles the older boy in reaction to that. "Yeah, you're damn right", whispers Edward teasingly into Ling Greed's sweet-tasting mouth.

"Let me touch it!", commands the older boy greedily and reaches for the younger boy's manhood. Without awaiting an answer, he starts touching it harshly. Edward answers with a moan. But since he wants to hear moans himself, he decides to return the favour. Consequently, Ling Greed throws back his head and moans. Sensual and loud moans, all drowned by the sound of the clattering water.

But in order to make doubly sure that nobody can hear the lecherous noises he is making, Edward presses his mouth against Ling Greed's shoulder. "You _naughty boy_ ", whispers the older boy after the younger boy has spontaneously slapped him across the backside. Hearing these words, Ed automatically thinks of Envy and thus halts for a few seconds. But Ling Greed does not notice it.

Because currently, he is too busy licking his own finger to damp the other boy's gluteal region. After that, he starts to manually stimulate it. Ed almost screams with pleasure. To prevent himself from repeating that, he starts biting Greed's shoulder. But since the younger boy's obvious satisfaction is motivating the older boy all the more, it does not take them long to _white-wash_ each other's thighs...

OOO

Both of them had to breathe hard afterwards. It was intense and scandalously enjoyable. And now they have to bear the consequences: Systematic avoidance as well as awkward silence for the rest of the day. The situation gets worse when they both lie awake in the same room that night. No talking, no laughing. Physical closeness but emotional distance.

Even though, it takes him forever to do it, Edward finally breaks the crushing silence: "This needs to stop!" "Could you please be more specific?", asks Greed in a slightly impersonal tone. "Come on, you know what I'm talking about. And I wanna be honest with you. What we did, felt so awfully good." "Yeah, absolutely."

"But on the other hand, it felt violently wrong..." "You don't say." "So...?" "So...?" "Do you agree or not?" Silence. But then: "I do..." "You do...?" "Yeah... You're right, it did feel good but in a wrong way..." "Yes, but... What now...?" "What do you mean?" "Well... Are we still friends...?", asks Edward hesitatingly. Silence. But then: "Of course." "Okay..." Silence...

OOO

"Wow, wait a minute! What do you mean by _you just couldn't do it_?", asks Kimblee during break, on Monday. His tone contains an uncharacteristically reproachful note that does not match his natural composure. Edward shrugs. "It was your plan. And frankly, I simply don't trust you. Otherwise, I probably would have done it." His words are true and untrue at the same time.

"Is that so, huh?" "Yeah. Ling Greed said he wasn't bisexual. And I decided to believe him. I mean, who knows? Maybe you were just trying to trick me or something. Maybe you weren't. Like I said, I can't trust you." "I see. If so, you have to find another way to get at their secret!" "What way? I can't just snoop around with six people being on my tail!"

"Deeply interesting. So you're saying that you actually _could_ snoop around _without_ six people being on your tail?" "Well... That's not quite what I meant..." "Technically, it was. But hey, don't worry, I won't let you do this all by yourself." "How generous you are, Kimblee." "Please, that goes without saying, _boss_." Edward rolls his eyes.

"So what's the plan?", asks Solf then. "Well... I hate to say that. But I'm afraid, we have to wait until our move-out. I think that would facilitate things a bit." "Yes, but their absence is more important than yours. Which is why we have to come up with something that will force them to leave their house. Something like an event."

Only now does Edward suddenly work something out: "What about a house warming _slash_ Thanksgiving dinner?" "Not bad, Elric. But wouldn't it be too suspicious if one of the hosts of all people left the party?" "Not if he accidentally delivers a vegan Turkey. That way, I'd have an excuse to leave my apartment for a few hours." " _He_?"

Edward sheepishly scratches his head, mumbling: "Um, I know a guy who delivers food and stuff..." Kimblee raises an eyebrow. "I understand... Fine, whatever. Just try to arrange it so that the others will know that you need a driver. That way, I – the generous gentleman in the flesh who will gladly offer to drive you – can go with you without arousing anyone's suspicions."

"Okay, done and done. But there's something else we have to take into consideration... Someone needs to bring up this entire house warming idea." Great minds think alike: "And that someone can't be you because otherwise everyone would smell a rat." "Precisely, Kimblee." "Well. Perhaps you could just try to _manipulate_ your mother into coming up with that idea with a little help from me."

Edward blows out his cheeks. "Well... Frankly, I don't like that word... But I guess, we have no choice, if we wanna learn that one secret, that might help us find out who _D._ is..." Solf nods slowly. "Good boy", he then remarks sarcastically. Edward does not answer verbally. Instead he just rolls his eyes in reaction to Kimblee's words...

OOO

In the evening, Edward and Alphonse are giving Trisha a hand in the kitchen. "Gosh, mom. How long have you been standing in this kitchen today? Seriously, it almost feels like Thanksgiving", grunts her older son. The grunting is not part of the acting, whereas bringing up Thanksgiving is. Trisha answers with an angelic smile.

Furthermore, she explains: "Well, Mr. Armstrong and one of Ling Greed's friends are going to join our dinner this evening, you know?" Alphonse, who loves Thanksgiving more than any other feast day, already took the bait: "But my brother is right about something, mom! Thanksgiving is just around the corner!" Edward nods.

This is his catchword: "Yeah and I'm so damn glad we can celebrate it in our _own_ apartment, and not here." Trisha is not very happy with these words: "Edward, please! Don't say that! This family did us a huge favor! We owe them a lot!" "So what? Cooking for them every day like it was Thanksgiving isn't enough?", asks Ed sarcastically.

This time, it is Trisha who is taking the bait: "You know what? That's actually not a bad idea!" Ed rolls his eyes theatrically: "Hell, no! Don't tell me, you're actually gonna invite this family to our Thanksgiving dinner!" "Why not? That would be the least we could do!", answers his mother. Edward rolls his eyes again so that nobody will ever become suspicious.

"Fine, do whatever you want but do me this one favor! Don't tell anybody that I inspired you because I don't want them to get a false impression!", grunts the older boy. "But why is that, brother? I mean, wouldn't it be nice if Mr. Bradley saw more in you than a rebellious hothead?", argues Alphonse.

"Hey, don't get me wrong, Al, but I'm not interested at all in that man's opinion! I promise, I'm gonna be a good host for one evening but I won't pretend to be the one who came up with that idea in the first place! I mean, I'm not even that supportive of it, so. Okay, mom?" "Okay, honey", sighs Trisha after a few seconds...

OOO

The dinner, Trisha has prepared, tastes good as always. However, the participants, except for Alphonse and his mother, do not necessarily get along: Selim Pride is frowning non-stop at Alex Louis Armstrong. Wrath and Sloth, on the other hand, are avoiding eye contact with Solf Julius Kimblee, and Edward is trying to ignore Envy.

Moreover, he is confused by Ling Greed's impersonal behaviour: "Could you pass me the salt please, Edward?" Ed cannot believe his ears: _"Edward? Seriously, Greed?"_ But since they are not alone at the moment, he does not confront his mate. Instead, he just nods silently and does what he has been asked to, without noticing Envy's quizzical look.

After that, Edward reminds himself of the reason, why Kimblee invited himself for this dinner in the first place. Knowing that his mother and brother are aware of Wrath's and Sloth's impersonal behaviour towards Solf, Ed expects them to talk with the orphan sooner or later. And he ends up being right: "Well, Solf."

"Yes, Miss?", asks Kimblee politely, yet impersonally. "Looks we're going to be neighbors very soon, aren't we?" "Yes, Miss." "You can call me Trisha", offers Trisha which raises a weak smile from Solf. Secretly, he is a little overwhelmed with her motherliness, since this is something he definitely is not used to. Trisha smiles angelically.

After that, she cleverly changes the subject now: "If so, I'd love to invite you to our Thanksgiving dinner! All of you, of course!" "A Thanksgiving dinner? At your place?", asks King attentively. "Yes. I just hope so, Mister Bradley", answers Trisha with an uncharacteristically impersonal smile. Everybody notices her bitter undertone but no one knows the reason for it. Not even Trisha herself...

OOO

This evening, Edward is alone in the bathroom. And since Ling Greed left his house along with Kimblee, he will be alone in the bedroom either. Ed sighs at the thought of that. Not necessarily because he is angry or sad. But rather because he does not even know what to make of this. After a long, pointless shower, he exits the bathroom.

"Finally", hisses Ivan Envy, who is leaning against the wall in the corridor. But for the first time, Edward does not react at all to his enemy's needling. This motivates Envy to rile him up a little: "Frankly, I'm a little surprised. I thought this bath was taking you so long for the same _reason_ as last time." The bully smirks triumphantly.

But contrary to his expectations, Edward does not burst out. Instead, he just chuckles softly, before retorting: "So you haven't gotten tired of eavesdropping and peeping through other people's keyholes yet, huh? For a second, Envy does not know what to say. But then: "Gross!" "Seriously, Envy? Is that all you gotta say?" Silence.

"Fine. Whatever, I have bad news for you." "Is that so, huh?", asks Envy who is trying to sound as disinterested as possible. "Yeah. Tomorrow, my trip to _Gaymestris_ is gonna end for good which means that you missed your chance, Envy." His enemy is visibly disappointed. However, Edward does not know why.

"That's a shame", remarks Envy finally, a devious smirk on his face. "After all, I spent all day preparing a parting gift for my favourite _enemy_." "A _what_...?" "You want to see it, don't you? It's okay, don't answer, that was just a rhetorical question. So, just let me tell you... All you have to do is come with me to the woods..."

"Are you kidding? It's already dark outside! And even darker in the woods! Also I'm not really in the mood for a walk with a potential killer!" "Oh please, don't be ridiculous. If I wanted to kill you, I'd make sure that Ling Greed doesn't have an alibi, to begin with." "Good point." "I know. So...?" Secretly, Ed is being slightly nervous.

"But... I was just about to go outside... And what about your shower?" "We can meet afterwards, if you're not too scared." "Hey, I'm not scared at all!" "If so... See you later", hisses Envy before abruptly entering the bathroom. Ed is both annoyed and confused. But first and foremost, he is sceptical: _"What the hell is Envy up to?"_

OOO

Forty minutes later, Ed, who is smoking a cigarette and listening to Lana Del Rey's _You Can Be The Boss_ , sees Envy, who has already informed his father about their walk, leave his own house. "May you feel safer that way. I even informed your mother." Ed rolls his eyes. "Very nice, Envy. But don't worry, I'm not the slightest bit afraid of you." Envy answers with an unreadable smirk...

OOO

Five minutes later, they are walking through the woods. Suddenly, Envy halt before leaning against a thin trunk. "What's wrong, Envy?", asks Edward. Since he does not get an answer, he quickly turns around. Only now does he see that Envy has tied himself up to the trunk, he has been leaning against. "What the...?" "Oh dear. Americans are so naïve. And now you have to pay the price."

Ed cannot believe his eyes and ears. "You sick bastard...! You wanna make it look like I brought you here to handcuff you...!" "Wow. You're brain works faster than I thought." " _You!_ ", hisses Edward with a clenched fist. "Go ahead! Just punch me! That way, you'll look even more like a villain!", chuckles Envy almost maniacally.

"Fuck you, I'll go back and find the keys or something else!" "And what are you going to tell your mother when she and my father ask you where I am?" Silence. "Oh my. Looks like this is going to be a long night. What a pathetic prat you are!" "SHUT UP!", shouts Edward. But Envy does not obey. Instead, he chuckles amusedly.

" _Gosh, I hate that bitchy palm tree! And tonight, I'm gonna end this sick game of his! But in order to succeed, I have to be the boss!"_ "Come on, do yourself a favour and stop overloading your little brain", chuckles Envy. _"Enough!"_ , decides Edward inwardly, picks a random stick up, holds it directly to Envy's throat and hisses: "Shut up or I'll make you!"

For a moment, Envy remains silent. But then: "What the bloody hell are you up to?" "What a silly question, even for you, Envy! You wanna make it look like I handcuffed you? Okay then! But just so you know, I never do things by halves! So here's my parting gift for you!" And just like that, he spanks his enemy's bottom. Envy screams. However, not with pain. But with pleasure.

At least that is, what Ed is thinking: " _Wow, wait! Did he seriously just...? No way, I misheard...!"_ His enemy's withering look can be interpreted in various ways. Ed decides to hit him again, just to be on the safe side. Realising what the shorter boy is up to, Envy instantly compresses his lips, in order to prevent himself from screaming again. _"Was he trying to suppress a scream or a -?"_

Ed's stream of thought gets cut off abruptly, when his enemy suddenly kicks him in the stomach. "FUCK!" Only now does Envy start mocking him again: "Tcha! That was just the appetiser! If you want to have the full programme, you'll have to use the keys!" "What the fu-?" "Yes, you heard me! _The keys_! You can find them in my left pocket!"

"Say that again...!" But Envy does not answer verbally. Instead, he just smirks. Deviously. "Where are they, damnit?", asks Edward through gritted teeth, while impatiently sticking his hand into his enemy's deep and stretchable pocket. "Dig deeper!", hisses Envy. The other boy obeys reluctantly. "Wait, there is some-!"

It is only when he feels something hard pulsating against his hand that Edward instantly falls silent, his golden eyes and mouth wide open. _"That's already the second time! Why the hell is he having a boner? It can't be because of me, right? Or was Mustang right...? No way, that's just impossible...! Damnit, I can't focus while this... Thing is... Throbbing against my -!"_

Only now does Edward realise that his own manhood has just _awaken_ , as well. "Sorry, my bad. The keys are in my right pocket. Have a try, if you like. _Pipsqueak_ ", whispers Envy with a triumphant smirk. "Shut your trap!", hisses Ed through gritted teeth. "Make me!", retorts Envy with a challenging look and the matching grin.

That is more than Edward can take: Without warning, he aggressively grasps the short chain of his enemy's handcuffs and pulls it so vigorously that their foreheads almost touch. And just like that, he starts kissing the taller boy, while simultaneously sucking his lip _violently_. Not only does Envy kiss him back, but he also bites the other boy's underlip.

Under normal circumstances, this probably would have hurt a lot but not under the current ones. Therefore, Edward does not scream with pain, he rather screams with pleasure. And since he is being distracted by his own lasciviousness, he does not even notice the hot blood that is running down his chin.

Envy, on the other hand, does notice it. Seeing it and smelling it, he just cannot stop himself from licking it off with relish. " _You naughty boy_ ", he whispers into the moaning blond's ear. Motivated by his enemy's keenness, Edward continues French-kissing him and also starts touching his bottom simultaneously.

"Bloody hell, I knew you were hot for my arse all the time!", whispers Envy with an aroused smirk. "Really, huh? Is that why you're always turning your back on me?", retorts Edward furiously, yet lustfully. "I know you were enjoying every damn second of it! _Pervert_!", hisses Envy before starting to suck at the other boy's neck this time.

"And I myself know for sure that it totally turned you on to lick my bleeding finger! _Creep_!", pants Ed while inhaling his enemy's scent. "Fuck, I wanna kill you!", hisses Envy. In order to bypass the physical distance, despite the trunk between them, he wraps his leg around the blond's lower body and pushes it towards the trunk. "No, _I_ wanna kill _you_!", moans Ed.

After having grasped the other boy's belt, Envy undoes it and then takes down his trousers as well as his boxer shorts. Edward is half-naked. Half-naked and so horny, that he does not object at all when his enemy starts touching his denuded manhood. The following minutes are so _wicked_ , that Ed is not even able to move any more, let alone to swallow his saliva properly.

"You enjoy it, _you naughty boy_! Because next time, _I_ definitely won't be handcuffed!", whispers Envy with a malicious smirk while continuing to touch the other boy's penis. Additionally, he licks Edward's lips to absorb the saliva. "I bet you'd love to tie me to your bed and give me a whipping, wouldn't cha?", pants the blond, who has totally lost his self-control at that point.

Envy's hand pauses for a moment. "Damn, I knew it!", chuckles Edward and grabs his enemy's wrists before wrapping them around his own erection again. "Who allowed you to stop, huh?" "Don't you boss me around!", commands Envy with a withering look. Edward does not answer verbally. Instead, he slaps his enemy across the backside.

"Don't worry! Next time, _you can be the boss_!", he whispers then, in order to motivate Ivan Envy. "You can bet your life on it!", hisses the taller boy with a devious smirk and continues. Edward's only answer is an excessively sensual moan. Still driven by that one particular scenario, Envy speeds up the process.

Consequently, it does not take Edward long to _fire_ at his enemy's thigh. Both of them are visibly nonplussed at that moment. "Shit...!", murmurs the blond, his cheeks crimson. "Amen to that. You just _decorated_ my bloody trousers, you, with your radioactive explosion!", retorts the taller boy. At that moment, Edward is not able to interpret his undertone.

Is he amused or angry? Or perhaps even flattered? It was Envy's fault after all. Or accomplishment. Either way: Edward does not know what to say. As a result of this, he spontaneously decides to turn his back on his enemy and walk away, but: "Hey! Where do you think you're going, huh? You can't just leave me here!"

This time, Edward knows for sure that Envy is angry. This causes him to smirk triumphantly. "Don't worry. I'll send for somebody", he announces in a boastful tone, without turning around to look his enemy in the eye. At that moment, Envy is both speechless and motionless. Ed, on the other hand, feels like a real boss for the first time, ever since they have met...


	15. Backfire

**IMPORTANT INFORMATION AHEAD:**

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own anything, not the brand names, not the song titles and especially not Fullmetal Alchemist.

 **Content:** Surprise, surprise, there will not be a lemon in this chapter ;D

 **Allusion:** Remember how Brotherhood-Edward decides to ask Mrs Bradley for forgiveness after he transformed Pride back into a tiny baby? If so, keep that one in mind, please.

 **\- Chapter 15: Backfire -**

Instead of returning home directly, Edward takes a walk while awaiting Kimblee's answer on Whatsapp. But nothing happens. Not even one hour later after he has sent the following text: _"Envy needs your help. Xerxes Forest. ASAP."_ Ed does not know why his schoolmate is not answering. And at first, he does not even care.

But almost ninety minutes later, he starts getting worried, when he suddenly gets a message. "Finally!", he mutters. After having clicked on it with a curious look in his golden eyes, he almost gets a shock when he reads the following words: _"Thanks for that lovely gift for me, you just left in the woods! Kisses, D."_

Edward almost drops his smartphone, his eyes and mouth wide open. Additionally, his heart starts pounding frantically. _"Envy...! No...!"_ , he screams inwardly. And just like that, he starts running as fast as he can, while mumbling the following words over and over again: "Please...! Please...! Forgive me...! Mrs. Bradley...!"

OOO

"Let me get this right. You came here although you're going to crash at your friend's place?", asks Olivier Mira Armstrong with a raised brow. "Precisely", answers Ling Greed with composure. "But Kimblee is totally okay with that. Besides, I assume that he's expecting a female visitor, anyhow", he adds relaxedly.

"And I myself assume that Solf J. Kimblee's love life is not an appropriate subject", retorts Olivier dryly. "Good point. Let's talk about Thanksgiving then! Miss Elric invited you too, so are you going to join me and our families, or not?" "Of course -" "Seriously?" "Not." "Oh, come on! You just have to come!", pouts Ling Greed, who is sounding less desperate than he secretly is.

"Hey, I'm really thankful for the invitation but I'm definitely not willing at all to have a glass of wine with my boss." "Why not...?" Olivier's look speak volumes. Greed rolls his eyes. "I see. It's about that _coup d'école_ , huh?" "No offense, but your puns suck, young man." "Language, Lady!" This time, Olivier rolls her eyes. "Tell me, Ling Greed. Why did you come visiting me again?"

"Because your house rocks", answers Ling Greed nonchalantly. "Well, its front facade rocks too, you know?" "Oh, come on! Don't be such a bad host! Canadians aren't supposed to be impolite!" "Unfortunately, that's the way I'm treating bad guests. And racists", retorts Olivier dryly. Ling Greed answers with amused laughter. And Olivier discreetly smirks in reaction to this.

But then, she suddenly strikes a more serious note: "Just tell me truth. Have you screwed things up again?" "What...? No...! I've stopped gambling! I promised, remember...?" Ling Greed is telling the truth. "Okay. If so, I'm clueless." "How come? Is it because you're thinking that people only pay you a visit when they need something from you?" "Ouch", mutters Olivier dryly.

"Tcha, I guess that these are the problems, rich people have to deal with. You'll never know if others like you or your possessions." "Well, leastwise I do know where I stand with you, _greedy_ boy", retorts his friend with a teasing smirk. Her ready-witted answers are just one of the many reasons why Ling Greed likes her so much. Perhaps even more than his own sister Juliet Sloth...

OOO

"ENVY...? ENVY...! ARE YOU THERE...?" Except for the echo of his screams, Edward does not get an answer until he suddenly can hear a familiar voice behind him: "I've looked everywhere. He isn't here any more. Well done." Edward does not even need to turn around to see who is standing behind him: Solf J. Kimblee...

OOO

A few minutes later, he and Edward are walking through his living street. Kimblee knows everything except for the sexual part: "So he handcuffed himself in order to blackmail you but you preferred to send me a message instead of making use of this golden situation?" "Stop asking all these silly questions, Kimblee!", commands Ed.

"You're clever enough to know that there's no way Envy would tell me their secret... Also, this doesn't matter at the moment...! _D._ caught him and it's all my fault...!" "You think?" "Hey, stop being sarcastic already!" "I will, if you stop playing the victim! Because right now, we need to focus! I mean, think about it! What could _D._ possibly want from Envy?"

Edward is visibly surprised by Kimblee's professional tone. But he quickly forgets about that, so he can fully concentrate on Envy again: "Honest answer? I bet, _D._ is only doing this in order to punish me!" "Well... Don't get me wrong but isn't that a little self-centred of you?" "I'd probably agree if that sick person didn't burn down my house."

Kimblee does not answer right away which gives Edward the opportunity to continue: "Also, I can't get rid of the feeling that Envy is his or her favorite..." "Huh...? What gives you that idea...?" _"Well... Envy is everybody's favorite..."_ , answers Edward inwardly. "I don't know", he fibs instead. For some reason, Kimblee just accepts this answer and changes the subject: "So what now?"

No answer. "I mean, what exactly are you going to do now? Go home and pretend that you don't know about Envy's whereabouts?" "No, I'm gonna call the police, of course!" "What...? You can't do that...!" "Why the fuck not?" "Because... Kidnappers usually aren't the biggest fans of cops!", answers Kimblee sarcastically. Or maybe not that sarcastically.

"Hey, I have to do _something_! And what I can't do is lie to Envy's and my own family!" "If so, you just need to find him before they start asking questions." "Hey, Kimblee! Are you freaking kidding me? This isn't some stupid game for kids!" "I never said such a thing. But..." "But _what_?", asks Edward worriedly.

Only after a dramatic silent period does Solf ask: "Remember those cameras, Mr Bradley installed after Halloween?" "Yeah, what about them...?" "Think about it! _D._ must have followed you to the woods which means that he or she might have been filmed accidentally!" "Damnit, that's genius!", exclaims Edward euphorically.

Seeing Kimblee's dry look, he quickly adds: "I mean... In view of the fact that this idea actually is coming from you, of course!" This time, the older boy raises his second brow too. "Whatever! Let's just head back and try to check on those tapes!", grunts Edward and starts running. Solf just rolls his eyes in reaction to that...

OOO

When they enter the front garden they cannot see any lights burning in the ground floor. "Well. Either nobody's being home at the moment or everyone's already sleeping by now." "Trust me. With Lust and Greed not being home, the latter is definitely the case", mutters Edward sarcastically, while searching for the front door key.

"I guess this is the perfect opportunity then." "But I don't even know how to get access to that footage! I mean it's not like Mr. Bradley gave us any details about these cameras!", whispers Edward. "I'm sure we'll figure out a way to get what we want", whispers Kimblee while they are quietly entering the house.

"Or you could just ask me instead", they suddenly hear someone hissing in a dark corner. Edward cannot believe his ears. His current speechlessness gives Kimblee the opportunity to do the talking: "What the hell are you doing here...?" Envy raises an eyebrow. "Well, unlike you, I _live_ here. The better question is – what are you doing here?"

Without awaiting an answer, he adds: "And how is it that you two aren't trying to kill each other?" "That... Is a long story. But I'm sure Edward can perfectly justify himself to you without my help. And with that said – I take my leave." After having taken a theatrical bow, Kimblee just leaves the two enemies alone. Deafening silence.

But then: "So...? I'm listening...?" Edward does not answer. Instead, he impulsively seizes his enemy by the collar and looks him straight in the eye. Envy does not dare to move at that very moment. Consequently, he does not prevent the blond from kissing him. Kissing him in a way, Edward has never kissed before. And in a way, Envy has never been kissed before: Dearly.

The taller boy still does not move, until he starts kissing him back, all of a sudden. It is only when they hear a door creak upstairs, that Edward immediately backs away from his enemy before quickly running away without awaiting a reaction. Envy is still bemused. But then, he starts smirking _viciously_...

OOO

Entering Ling Greed's empty room, Edward leans against the door from inside, still breathing hard. When he suddenly gets a message, he almost jumps out of his skin. _"Next time, he and you won't be that fortunate. Just so you know. Goodnight. Kisses, D."_ Edward is confused, horrified, furious and even a little relieved...

OOO

"Hats off, Envy. This particular game of yours was downright gruesome. Even for you", remarks Kimblee one day later, while he and Ivan Envy are heading for the school building. "Really, huh? And what do you call what he did to me?" "Good point. But hey, what if _D._ decides to bust you? To tell him that you're a liar? Or let's better say _copycat_."

"Oh, I've already taken that one into account." "How is that?" "Right after his leaving, I got a text from our stalker, asking me to take revenge. Therefore, everything I did, was obeying." "If you say so. Anyway, you haven't told me yet about his reaction, yesterday." "That's hardly worth mentioning. He merely apologised and promised to treat me better from now on."

"And you...?" "I? I did nothing, of course. Otherwise, he would have smelled a rat." Solf answers with a naughty smirk. " _Rat_ is indeed an appropriate term in that case." Envy answers with a rather sceptical smirk. "Hey, Kimblee. Did I miss something?" "Not to my knowledge. Why...?" Only after a few seconds does Envy, who is smirking deviously again, whisper: "No reason."

OOO

Entering the staff room, the first person, Scar comes across, is Olivier, which is why he is just about to leave, when Maes suddenly calls out for him: "Hey ho! Look who's back from Yugoslavia!" Unlike Olivier, Alex, Roy and Rebecca immediately turn their heads and welcome him kindly. Rebecca even hugs him: "Nice to have you back!" "Thanks", answers Scar unsentimentally...

OOO

"Where is Havoc?", asks Scodran, after Hughes has shown him several pictures of Elicia. "In France. But he and Winry will return on Friday", answers Jean's other male best friend, Alex Louis Armstrong. Roy, on the other hand, remains silent. At that moment, he is more determined than ever to confront his flatmate...

OOO

However, there is someone else, Roy has to talk to first. "A message for my housekeeper?" "Yes, Sir." Headmaster Bradley is surprised. And not necessarily in a bad way. "If so, how can I help you, Mr Mustang?" "Well. In short, Ms. Elric can already move in this weekend." "I see...", mumbles King. "Well, thank you for telling me", he adds with a rather stately posture. "You're welcome, Sir."

OOO

In the meantime, Kain Fuery is entering the school canteen. But since he is distracted by his mobile phone, he accidentally bumps into somebody, who – as a result of this – drops his tray, whereas Kain himself falls backwards. After having looked up, in order to apologise properly, he almost gets a shock: The person, he has just bumped into, is Ivan Envy Bradley of all people.

The entire canteen falls silent. Expectedly, it is Envy himself, who breaks the silence: "Hallo, Fuery." "E-Envy...!", stutters Kain. "Enough!", hisses Ed and stands up. However, his shoulder gets softly grasped by Alphonse, who is sitting right next to him. "Wait, brother. He can do it, I know it." "But Al -!" "Just trust me. Trust him, okay, brother?"

Their discussion ends when they suddenly hear Envy's husky voice again: "I'm listening, Fuery." "I'm sorry! I'll give you the money and you can buy yourself new food!", offers Kain, while hectically reaching for his wallet with shaking hands. Crushing silence. But then: "I'm not hungry, anyway. But thanks."

The students, including Edward, Alphonse, May, Catherine, Solf, Ling Greed, Solaris Lust, Selim Pride and Elicia Hughes, cannot believe their ears. And when Ivan Envy extends his hand to give Kain a leg-up, they cannot believe their eyes, either. Kain himself, does not know what to do, which is why he intuitively tries to find his best male friend Alphonse amongst the crowd.

It is only when Al nods and smiles encouragingly, that Kain takes his bully's offer. An offer that turns out to be well-meant: "Thanks... Envy..." "You're welcome", hisses Envy with a devious smirk, before heading for Cat and his friends, who are sitting together. Catching Ed's puzzled look, Envy has to smirk again. Meanwhile, no one is noticing that Roy has witnessed the situation too...

OOO

When Edward enters the Bradley house after work, everyone is already sitting around the dinner table. " _This_ weekend?", he asks, after his headmaster broke the news to them. Ed probably would have sounded way more euphoric a few days ago. "Precisely. And therefore, we have no time to lose", announces King in his super professional tone. Trisha does not answer.

Selim, on the other hand, does intervene: "But father! How are they going to move out within such a short time?" "Are you kidding? They merely own three suitcases which means that even a bicycle would be enough to transport their possessions", interposes Ling Greed sarcastically. Especially, Edward is not quite amused at that moment.

"Hush, Greed!", commands Juliet Sloth, before addressing herself to Trisha: "I've already talked with Alex and Olivier about everything. And they decided to give you all their spare furnitures as well as a complete kitchen. Consider it a moving in gift." Trisha blushes immediately. "A _gift_? No, I can't accept that!"

"Yes, you can. Because otherwise, you'll make my fiancé cry... Again..." "I... Don't know what to say...", murmurs the housekeeper. "How about _thank you_? Even a _maid_ should be able to spell these words", interposes Pride snobbishly. Deafening silence. At least, until Edward abruptly stands up and hisses: "Hey, take that back, you brat!"

"Ed!", whispers Al with a friendly-reprehending look. A look, one can also see in Trisha's eyes in similar situations. However, for the first time, Wrath is on Edward's side. And for the first time, the Elrics realise that his second name does actually fit him. Especially when they notice his wrathful tone: "Thank you, Alphonse but Edward is right! Young man, go to your room! _Immediately_!"

Pride does not move right away. But after a few seconds, he finally obeys. However, he still keeps his snobbish posture while walking away. The others are speechless for the moment. But then, Ling Greed, who could not be more relaxed despite the unpleasant situation, rises to speak again: "Seriously, Trish. That soup is wicked." Awkward silence...

OOO

"Damn, my brothers are total arseholes!", he remarks, when he and Edward are entering in his room later on, and chuckles quietly. "Yeah, they are", answers the guest sharply. "I know, I know." "But so are you." "Right... Wait, what?", asks Ling Greed with a confused mien. "Nothing", mutters Edward and exits the room...

OOO

Heading for the bathroom, he almost bumps into: "Envy...!" "Edward", answers Envy and nods impersonally. Edward cannot believe ears: _"What the hell...? Did he seriously just call me by my actual name...? No, I must have misheard...!"_ Instead of saying anything else, Envy just turns his back on him and heads for his own room.

But then: "Envy, wait...!" "Huh...?" Ed gulps when he realises that he just said his name for no reason. Therefore, he just improvises: "Um... I was just wondering if you've heard from _D._ since yesterday..." Envy, who has not turned around yet, smirks deviously. "Oh. You mean, after you left me in the woods? No. But according to Kimblee, you two have." "Well... Yes... Actually..." "So...?"

"I don't know... But I guess, I'm... Sorry...", mumbles Edward. "Oh, you _guess_? If so, I _guess_ , you can go and get stuffed!" "Wow, wait! Did you just insult me?" "Believe it or not – I did!", hisses Envy, who is obviously upset. Without awaiting an answer, he just continues: "Because, _guess_ what! I don't need your so-called _apology_!" "Hey, I meant it!"

"No, you didn't! And I also know full well that you wouldn't even have apologised in the first place, if I hadn't been in danger!" "That's not true!" "Yes, it is!" "No, it's not! Okay, you know what? I am willing to admit that I wanted to teach you a lesson in reaction to your stupid handcuff-prank at first! But sooner or later, I would have regretted it, even without _D._ being out there!"

"Oh, is that so?" No answer. "Wait, let me specify my question. _What_ gives you that idea?" "I..." "Yes?" "I just hate to dump on people! No matter how horrible they are!", answers Edward with an upset mien. "How pathetic!" "Maybe. But that's just the way I am. Either you accept it or you don't." Envy does not answer at first.

Consequently, Ed jumps to the conclusion that their conversation is over, and is thus about to enter the bathroom, when his enemy suddenly asks: "What if... I did accept it...? What would change...?" The blond is visibly surprised. But since Envy is not looking at him, he cannot see it. "Truth be told... I have no idea... But I guess, that depends on you..." "But what if it depended on you...?"

Edward answers with an astonished look again. But then: "Maybe... We could become friends...?" " _Friends_...?" "Yeah... You know? Hanging out instead of terrorizing each other, and stuff..." "Well that sounds..." "Complicated?" "Indeed." "It's actually quite simple, Envy...! You just need to be less..." "Evil?", asks Envy dryly. "Um... Yes, actually..." "Uh-huh."

"So...?", asks Edward after a while. "What?", asks Envy, who is pretending to be clueless. This causes the blond to bare his teeth. "Idiot! You know exactly, what I mean! So don't make me ask you again, the whole situation is awkward enough and -!" Edward, the king of all hotheads, could rant on forever.

However, he instantly falls silent when Envy suddenly gives him a kiss on the lips. This time, it is Edward, who does not dare to move. "Sweet dreams. _Pipsqueak_ ", whispers his enemy into his ear. Without awaiting an answer, he just smirks teasingly and heads for his own room. Ed is both speechless and motionless at that moment...

OOO

Later that evening, Roy is talking to Winry on the telephone: "All right, I'll see you on Friday, then. But can I talk with your brother, too?" _"Jean isn't with me at the moment. Is it important?"_ "Not at all. Have a good journey." " _Thank you, Roy!"_ After having hung up, Roy just shakes his head in disbelief. _"Nice try, Havoc."_

After that, he grabs his mobile phone and starts to dial someone else's number, when he suddenly gets a phone call from that particular person: "What a coincidence, Fullmetal. I was just about to call you, just this minute." _"You were...?"_ "Yes." _"So you're available, then?"_ "Why are you asking? Wait, let me guess! You're standing outside, aren't you?" Silence.

But then: _"Possibly..."_ "All right. But before I'll ask you in, you have to grab us something to eat." _"Fine"_ , grunts Edward "Uh, one more thing, Fullmetal. Our dog Den will surely try to knock you out again. Therefore, you should be careful when I open the door. Otherwise you're going to end up kissing the earth, as last time." _"Ha, ha, Mustard!"_ Roy smirks teasingly...

OOO

Meanwhile, Trisha is hesitatingly knocking on Selim Pride's bedroom door. But the person who opens it, is her son. "He's just fallen asleep!", whispers Alphonse and closes the door from outside. "Oh good! Have you talked...?" "Yes, we have. And he also wanted me to tell you he's sorry." His mother nods silently.

While going downstairs, she clarifies: "I'm not mad at him. I'm concerned..." "So am I... Also, I sort of empathize with him about his fears of loss..." Trisha laughs angelically. "What is it, mom?" "Oh, nothing. I'm just proud of you, that's all. I barely know teenagers who are so mature." Al blushes in reaction to that. "Thanks, mom..." "You're welcome", answers Trisha with a tender smile...

OOO

"Well... That is the most disturbing story, I've ever heard", remarks Roy dryly, after he has been informed about all the happenings between Edward and Envy. The only thing, he does not know about yet, is the _D._ -part. "Hey, you wanted to know the whole story, so stop complaining already!" "Okay, okay, calm down... Wow..."

"What...?", asks Ed rather insecurely this time. "It's just that... Things between you and Envy are way more messed up than I've expected. Call me practical, but I myself see no point of a relationship that is solely based on sexual desire and hatred." "I know... But perhaps he can change...!" " _Change_ , huh? Interesting." "What...?"

"Nothing, you're absolutely right. Envy definitely needs to change. But you can't just ask him to do so. You rather have to... Well... Make use of certain strategies." "Holy shit...!" "What's wrong?" "You're a horrible person...!" Roy rolls his eyes in reaction to that remark. "What? You know I'm right! You're trying to talk me into manipulating him!", hisses Edward in a reproachful tone.

"I mean, aren't you rather supposed to tell me that I should learn to accept him the way he is, or something like that?" "Don't be so naïve, _Fullmetal_." "Stop calling me that!" "I will, if you stop behaving accordingly", retorts Roy calmly. Edward answers with an angry look, that is gradually turning into a determined one. "You can think whatever you want! I do believe in him!"

"How romantic." "Hey, this has nothing to do with romanticism! The only thing, I'm interested in, is a friendship! Which is the only reason why I care about him!" "You're sure about that?", asks Roy with a raised brow. "Yes, I am! So stop questioning my own damn words, damnit!" "Okay, fine. But there's one more question, I'd like to ask. Or let's better say, a _question_ , you should ask yourself."

"Shoot!", hisses Edward through gritted teeth. "What was is like for you to get kissed and touched by him?", asks Roy straightforward. The student answers with a puzzled look. "Deeply interesting", remarks the teacher with a triumphant smirk and just exits the room instead of awaiting a reaction. At that moment, however, Edward would not have known what to say, anyway...

OOO

In the meantime, Solaris Lust and Solf J. Kimblee are sitting in her parking car. "Friday, huh?", she asks out of the blue. "What about Friday?", he asks, even though he knows exactly what she is referring to. "You know, what I'm talking about. But just to give you a hint – blonde hair, terrible accent, smells like oil." Kimblee rolls his eyes.

"What? It's the truth." "Well. You forgot say that she loses herself in her work, which is something I really appreciate. And which is also something you'd never do. Because sadly, you're too busy being a slut." This time, Solaris who rolls her eyes. "Oh come on. You're just narked because I cheated on you." "Keep on dreaming. I don't care the slightest bit about your whoredom."

"Hey, I'm not a whore, okay? Because whores can't fall in love!" "If I'm not mistaken, that is what's qualifying you in the first place, love. Unless..." Kimblee laughs amusedly. "Good Lord. Don't tell me you've actually fallen in love with your sex slave." Lust's speechlessness speaks volumes. Consequently, her ex-boyfriend is speechless too...

OOO

Leaving flat 3b later on, Edward suddenly remembers something else: "Tell me, what was necessary to achieve that...?" "To achieve _what_?" "Our moving-in date. You managed to accelerate it. How?" "What makes you think that I am responsible for that?", asks Roy nonchalantly. "Call it _intuition_." "I see." "Yeah, so...?", asks Ed impatiently.

Roy smirks conspiratorially. "Well. I can be very persuasive at times. Goodnight, _Fullmetal_." Instead of giving Edward the opportunity to answer, he just winks playfully and closes the door. "Bastard", hisses the sixteen-year-old with a withering look. But for some inexplicable reason, he just cannot hold back a smile...

OOO

On his way back home, he listens to Lana Del Rey's _Backfire_ while simultaneously racking his brains about his forthcoming move-out. Since their sexual adventure in the shower, Ling Greed has started to behave differently towards him. Impersonally. Not to the same extent as Juliet Sloth and Selim Pride, but still impersonally enough.

Ivan Envy, on the other hand, is becoming more unpredictable every day. And Edward does not know how to cope with that. Another thing that is bothering him, is that he and Alphonse have not been that close lately. Before they moved to Amestris, they used to be brothers and best friends at the same time. But recently, Al is mainly spending time with May, Kain and Selim Pride.

And then there is Winry. When Edward met her the first time, he instantly decided to befriend her. Or perhaps even more than that. However, the Bradleys got in the way. But knowing that he is going to be Winry's, May's and Kain's neighbour soon, he just hopes for some changes. Then again, he is not ready to give up on Ling Greed yet. And because of that, Ed decides to talk with his mate...

OOO

Just when he is about to enter his friend's room, he suddenly hears voices from inside. Therefore, he just starts eavesdropping. _"Kimblee and Edward are up to something? Cut the crap, you're making me laugh, Envy!" "Greed's right, Envy. Why would these two of all people become friends, just like that? And why wouldn't he tell us? I mean, I just met him and he didn't mention anything like that."_

" _Like I said, they're up to something. As far as I know, they even have each other's numbers. Also, Kimblee was defending him today!" "Perhaps he is just sick of your evilness, my dear Envy!"_ , interposes Greed. _"Hey, you don't need to trust me, prat! But you better should trust in my intuition! Kimblee and the pipsqueak may not be friends but I'm sure they've become suspicious about us!"_

" _So what? The Elrics are going to move out this weekend!"_ , interposes Lust. Her brothers do not answer which gives her the opportunity to continue: _"And I'm sure they won't just snoop around the attic for no reason I mean, Sloth explicitly told Ms Elric to stay away from there, so!"_ And just like that, Edward forgets about anything else but: _"The attic, huh? Good to know..."_

 **Well, well, well: Time to (1.) thank you for your reviews and brilliant theories and to (2.) answer some of your questions.**

 **Death:** The only deaths that are relevant in terms of plot are Quinn's, Van's, Gracia's and _P.G.'s_. Keep in mind that Mrs Bradley and Hohenheim are somehow shady characters.

 _ **D.**_ **:** Is going to be revealed in chapter 25.

 ** _White Rabbit_ : **Will be revealed in chapter 22. It is not Kimblee but your other suspects are qualified.

 ** _P.G._ : **Is a boy by the name of Porter G. who is also a FMA-character. His identity will be revealed in chapter 19.

 **Selim Pride Bradley:** You are right, he definitely is traumatised by _something_.

 **Pairing:** Whether Winry is pregnant or not, will be revealed in chapter 23. Envy will make use of his BDSM-stuff (probably in chapter 22). The only pairing you can take for granted at this point is Mayphonse.

 **Character:** There will be new characters in the following chapter. Lan Fan will also make an appearance, regardless of my earlier statement. I guess, I just changed my mind (;


	16. The Other Woman

**IMPORTANT INFORMATION AHEAD:**

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own anything, not the brand names, not the song titles and especially not Fullmetal Alchemist.

 **Content:** Be prepared for bad news and an interesting revelation.

 **Character:** Two new and major characters are going to make their first appearance in this chapter. However, he third one, will appear in the next chapter for the first time.

 **\- Chapter 16: The Other Woman -**

On Friday, Edward and Alphonse take one day off so they can help their mother and the team, Olivier and Alex have hired, with the moving in. However, the three of them get the impression that their help is not needed at all. Therefore, Trisha asks their sons to go to school instead of staying there with her.

Alphonse obeys as usual. Edward, on the other hand, decides to take advantage of the situation: "You need to come here, as fast as you can! Because right now, none of them are home!" "I'm already on my way. I'll meet you there", answers Kimblee, who has just left the school building, on the phone and heads off...

OOO

When Winry and her brother arrive in the early afternoon, they almost stumble over dozens of moving cartons. "Wait... I thought the Elrics were going to move in by the end of this month?", asks Jean with a confused mien. He does not notice at all that his sister's heart is pounding louder at that precise moment.

Entering the building, they come across Trisha. "I can give you a hand, if you like!", offers Winry, after they have welcomed each other. "That's so sweet, my dear! However, thanks to the team, we don't need any further hands! But if you really want to do us a favor, just come over for dinner some day, all right?" Winry smiles in reaction to that invitation...

OOO

"Your cousin?", asks Alphonse with a surprised look while he and May are entering the classroom. "Yes... She just got kicked out of school which is why grandpa decided to accommodate her." "I see... But hey, isn't that a great idea? Spending time with you will surely help her a lot!" May blushes in reaction to that compliment...

OOO

In the meantime, Kimblee and his partner in crime are trying to enter the attic of the Bradley house. "Fuck, damnit!", swears Edward after having noticed the lock. "Bravo. Now we need Ling Greed to break in." "No, there has to be a key _somewhere_!" "Oh luckily, this house is actually very small", retorts Solf sarcastically. "Hey, Kimblee! Not helping!", grunts Ed.

But all of a sudden, his annoyed mien turns into a rather enthusiastic one: "Eureka! Greed's hookah!" Kimblee raises an eyebrow. "Sorry, but is this a nickname for his manhood?" "No, bastard! I'm talking about a hookah! A hookah, he's hiding in the attic!", hisses Edward with a withering look. "Okay, so?"

"All I have to do is ask him to smoke with me so I can see where he's hiding the keys after having used them!" "Not bad", remarks Solf with composure. "I know", answers Edward with a bold grin. "Fine. Now that we've both praised you, you can take your phone and just do what needs to be done." Ed knits his brows in reaction to that sarcastic utterance...

OOO

"Let me guess! _You just couldn't do it_?", asks Solf mockingly when they later meets at the _Dragon's Pulse_. Ed does not answer right away. Instead he just throws the keys at his partner in crime. "Wait, you brought them here?" "No, I brought them _back_. These are the spare keys, I've made." "Wow... You keep impressing me, Elric." "Lucky me." "Hey, what's wrong?" "Whatcha mean?"

"I just have the impression that you're not that proud of your achievement." "Yeah, because I didn't achieve anything. All I did was lie to Ling Greed. And smoke..." "And a some talking, huh?" "Not really..." "But... I thought you two were like Walter Benjamin and Theodor Adorno?" Awkward silence. But then: "Who...?" Kimblee rolls his eyes in reaction to Ed's disinterest in literature.

"Good friends, in other words." "Uh... Well... We were..." "But...?" "None of your business!" Solf rolls his eyes again. "Fine. Let's get down to _real_ business then. Today, we were given the best opportunity to snoop around but we missed it." "Right. But I'll do my best on Thanksgiving!", answers Ed with a determined look. " _I_...?"

"Yes. One of us has to stay there and make sure that no one leaves the party earlier." "Precisely. And that person should be you." "What the -?" "Be practical! I can drive and my absence wouldn't be that noticeable!" "Right, but I can't trust you! What if you do learn their secret but decide to keep it to yourself, huh?" "We can talk on the phone the entire time, if you like." Ed does not answer...

OOO

In the meantime, Roy is interestedly looking at the pictures, Winry is showing him. "Wow. Your photographs are absolutely gorgeous, pretty girl!" "Thank you, gentleman." Roy answers with a playful smirk. "Too bad, that your brother didn't miss me as much as you did." "Of course, he missed you! Don't worry, he'll be home soon!" _"I just hope your sister is right, Havoc."_

OOO

However, Roy does not know at all that his flatmate is just about to fix things at that moment. Ironically enough, Havoc's friend is not the only one, who has not seen that coming: "You... Are finishing with me...?" Jean, who is sitting right next to Solaris in the car, does not answer verbally. Instead, he just nods slowly. Crushing silence.

Only the raindrops that are drumming against the windows can be heard at that moment, until: "Okay... If that's what you want, I'll just accept it..." "Wait, no! You misunderstood the situation! Ending our relationship, is definitely not what I want! It's rather something that had to be done!" "And why is that, all of a sudden...?" "Because... Somebody got suspicious... Roy..."

Lust cannot believe her ears: "But... I thought, he was your best friend! So why would he of all people cause trouble?" "Because what we are doing is wrong, Solaris!" "And who is ladykiller Mustang to judge, huh?" "Like you said... He's my best friend... And you are our superior's daughter...! But, you know? Our situation isn't hopeless! Because you won't be my student forever!"

"Yes... But long enough..." "What are you saying?" For the first time that day, Lust raises her voice a little: "What I'm saying, Jean, is that I'm not stupid, okay? I know how it goes! One day you're determined to wait, the other day you'll find yourself fucking another woman!" "That's not fair! I'm not the one who's sleeping with others!"

"You know what, Jean? You're damn right, I slept with many guys! But do you also know why I did that?" "You tell me, Solaris!" "Because... You _never_ asked me to be your girlfriend... Not even once...", answers Lust quietly. Seconds, minutes and even hours pass. However, both of them remain silent. Stubbornly...

OOO

Later that day, Scodran Khan and his flatmate are having a conversation when the doorbell suddenly rings. "Ten pounds on little Chang", guesses Kimblee. "I'm in", announces Scar unemotionally as always, while his flatmate is already opening the door. Finding out that he has guessed right, Solf cannot hold back a triumphant smirk: "Thanks for making me rich, young Lady."

May Chang answers with a quizzical look. "Forget it. Come in, Scar's already waiting for you." "Thanks, but for once in my life, I'm actually here because of you and because of him!" Both Kimblee and Scodran answer with astonished looks. "Ouch. Did you hear that, Scar?", asks Solf with a teasing smirk.

"Well, to be honest, I'm trying to hold back some tears right at the moment", retorts his flatmate sarcastically. "Scar!", pouts May and knits her eyebrows. "Hey, just kidding, girl!", announces Scodran dryly and smirks. As a matter of fact, the fifteen-year-old is one of the few people who makes him smile...

OOO

"Please, excuse my impatience, but where on earth are you taking me?", asks Kimblee. "To my place, of course!" "Yeah. _Of course_." "My grandpa is being out of town tonight which is why I need some company. I talked with Alphonse. He totally agreed. And so did the rest of our neighbourhood."

"Deeply interesting. But how is it that I, of all people, am suddenly welcome to such events?" "Well, I guess, _not_ blowing up migrants is sort of helping", answers May sarcastically. "Well... _I_ guess, that makes sense...", retorts Kimblee, also sarcastically. "By the way! I even invited your best friend! Or... Only friend!", she announces. "Ouch...", he mutters dryly...

OOO

"You can't be serious, Cat." _"I am! Even your brother's here! And I'd love to invite you too but unfortunately, everyone in this room is hating you! Except for me, of course!"_ Envy, who is pacing the corridor in front of his room at the moment, answers with a withering look. But Catherine cannot see it, since she is on the phone with him. "Bye, Cat", he hisses and just hangs up.

After that, he is heads for his room, when he suddenly hears someone sobbing. And that someone sounds like a woman, which – much to Envy's surprise – means that it must be Solaris Lust, who is crying in her own room at that moment. Usually, he would just snort and go away. But not, when it comes to Lust, one of his two best friends...

OOO

"Whoever that prat is, I know for sure that you deserve better! Ending a relationship, just because a friend has advised it, is endlessly pathetic!" Lust chuckles weakly. "Thanks, Envy... I think that's what I needed to hear." "Still, I told you this because I'm believing it and not because you're needing to hear it." "I know. That's what I love about you."

"Yeah, but ironically, that's what others hate about me..." "Since when do you care?" "Good point. So, let's get down to business, already!" Lust laughs way more vividly this time. "Your slyness is just another thing I love about you!" "Wow. We're extraordinarily sentimental tonight, aren't we?", chuckles Envy mockingly. Lust rolls her eyes. However, she cannot hold back a naughty smirk...

OOO

"Hey, May! What's your cousin like?", asks Ling Greed. "Well... She just got kicked out of school...", begins May. "Perfect. I can already hear the wedding bells ring", interposes Kimblee sarcastically. "Arsehole!", chuckles Ling Greed, before adding: "Besides, that's not the reason why I asked you in the first place! Also, _San Francisco_ and _Jerusalem_ are bachelors too, aren't they?"

Catching Winry's upset look at that moment, Solf almost laughs out loud. "Hey, stop talking nonsense! Ed and Kain deserve way better!", interposes May. "Perhaps, you should leave that decision to them", retorts Ling Greed. But May has another argument in store: "That's not even necessary! Because as far as I know, Kain prefers blondes!"

"Seriously? That's so cliché", complains Kimblee sarcastically. "Well, I can't blame him. And you know what else? I'm beginning to think that Fuery and Catherine would look very lovely together. Too bad, that she's already getting screwed by my brother." After Ling Greed's revelation, the entire room falls silent immediately...

OOO

"You godawful idiot!", hisses Catherine. At the moment, Ling Greed is smoking a cigarette in the back courtyard of the residential building. Therefore, they can talk in private. "Oops. Busted. Sorry." Ling Greed could not sound more indifferent. "What the hell is wrong with you?" "Well. I could ask you the same damn question." "What...?"

"Oh, come on! You're such a hot girl and yet you're getting laid by that... Creature?" "He's my best friend!" "So what?" "And he's hot!" "Not as hot as I am." No answer. "Oh, girl. Your speechlessness speaks volumes." Catherine still does not know what to say. This time, Ling Greed's only answer to her speechlessness is a naughty smirk...

OOO

In the meantime, Edward is exiting the flat. In the hallway, he comes across Winry who is sitting on the stairs and playing _Angry Birds_ on her smartphone. "Hey there...!" After she has recognised that familiar voice, she instantly turns her head. "Ed...!" "What are you doing here, all by yourself...?" "Nothing... And you?" "Um... To be honest, I was looking for you..." "You were...?" "Yeah..."

Awkward silence. But all of a sudden, both of them rise to speak. "You first", decides Edward. Winry nods. "Kain left..." "I know..." "I bet, this is because of Catherine..." "What gives you that idea?" "Well... He left, after Catherine had stomped outside. Probably, to look for Ling Greed." "Ling Greed's being a total asshole tonight", grunts Edward.

"Oh yes..." "Yeah..." "But wait a sec! Isn't he your friend?" "He's Ling Greed. So, you never know." Winry answers with a soft chuckle that causes Edward to smile discreetly. "What did you want to say?" "Well... I just wanted to ask you about your trip. Did you enjoy it?" "I have! That city is just marvellous!" "Really?" "Yes, absolutely! I'd just love to pack my things and simply move to Paris!"

"Seriously...?" "Sure, why not?" "Well... All your friends live here, in Amestris..." Edward discreetly clenches his fingers, before hissing: "And so does your lover..." Her deep blue eyes widen immediately, which is why he – after he has slapped himself mentally – quickly rises to speak again: "Sorry! That was stupid!"

Winry does not answer right away. But then: "Yes. You're right, that was stupid." At that moment, Edward does not dare to look her in the eye. At least not, until Winry says the following words: "Because truth be told, he is not the guy, I'm falling for...!" Only now does Edward look up, his eyes and mouth wide open.

Ironically, it is Winry, who does not dare to look at him, this time. Her blushed cheeks, her sparkling eyes, her vulnerability – Edward does not know why. But for some reason, he has never been more attracted to her than he is at that very instant. "Winry...!" "Yes...?", asks Winry quietly. Edward does not answer verbally.

Instead, he cautiously cups her chin before hesitatingly starting to kiss her. Winry's heart is pounding like drums at that moment. At first, she does not react at all, which is due to her astonishment. But after a while, she starts to kiss him back. And the following seconds must be the best ones in her entire life so far.

It is only when they suddenly hear the sound of a creaking door behind them, that this perfect moment ends abruptly. After Edward and Winry have turned their heads reflexively, they see Solf J. Kimblee of all people, who is smirking naughtily. "Excuse me, love-birds. I really didn't mean to interrupt you."

Instead of giving Edward, who is intuitively clenching his fingers again, or Winry, who is blushing for some inexplicable reason, the opportunity to answer him or to react otherwise, Kimblee just leaves them alone and goes upstairs, as if nothing had happened. However, _something_ did happen. Edward and Winry kissed for the first time...

OOO

Meanwhile, Jean Havoc is having a drink at the bar of the _Riviere Hotel****_ in the Creta Road. Or maybe more than just one drink. After everything that has happened today, he is just not in the mood for that talk with his flatmate. Roy Mustang, on the other hand, is tired of his best friend's attempts to avoid him.

"Stop this nonsense and tell me what's going on! Now, Havoc!" Jean, who is already a little tipsy at that point, almost drops his glass, after having heard that familiar voice unexpectedly. "How did you find me...?", he asks while petting Den's head. "You've been raving about this place in ages." "Man. I'm the incarnation of true failure..."

"Why, huh? Because you're having sex with one of our students?" Havoc gulps and hesitates. But then: "Don't you get it, Roy? She isn't our student...! She's married...! That's why I was trying to keep our relationship a secret! But now, it's over...!" His flatmate does not answer. And his dog Den does not dare to bark...

OOO

A few minutes later, Edward and Winry are French-kissing on her bed. It is only when she takes off her sweatshirt, that he suddenly interferes: "Wait...!" "What's wrong...?", asks the blonde insecurely. "Nothing... It's just that..." "Yes...?" "This doesn't feel right...!" "What...?" For the second time that day, he slaps himself mentally.

"Sorry, no! That's not it! What I'm rather trying to say is that... We just had our first kiss...!" "And... Didn't you like it...?" "Of course, I did! But... Don't you think that... We should probably slow down a little...?" Winry does not know what to say which is why she just agrees. And as a result of this, she is the one, who is slapping herself mentally, this time...

OOO

Despite the fact that she is a skilled repairer, she almost shatters her customer's bicycle, one day later. "Oh... Is he really such a failure between the sheets?", she suddenly hears someone ask behind her. Winry does not even need to turn around to ID that familiar voice: "Bugger off, Kimblee! I'm not in the mood for your... _Kimbleeness_!" "Hem. Perhaps all you need is a good bang."

"NO, I DON'T!", she yells while fidgeting with her wrench. Kimblee answers with amused laughter. "I love watching you play with your little phallus symbol. But all jokes aside. Just tell me what happened." Winry sighs. "He gave me the brush-off..." "No, he didn't." "Yes, he did!" "Sorry, but I don't buy it. Everyone knows that Edward Elric is falling for you." "Well, he doesn't..."

"What were his exact words?" "He thinks we should _slow down a little_..." "Wow. Congratulations." "What the -?" "Well, apparently, your _white knight_ is interested in a genuine relationship in the first place. And not just in the physical stuff." "You... Are kidding, right?" "Nope." "But... What would have changed if we'd just done it last night?" "Ask him." "What? I can't do that!" "Why not?"

"Because... That would be too awkward... Also, I don't think I'll be able to handle another brush-off... I mean, what am I going to do if he just breaks my heart...?" "You know how to handle a wrench. Just fix it, when it's broken." "It's not that simple." "Yes, it is. All you need is the right _wrench_ ", whispers Solf into her ear and smirks naughtily, before leaving the blushing girl alone...

OOO

In the afternoon, seven men are furnishing flat 2a. The two residents themselves have not been seen yet. "Two women? That's hot", remarks Greed, who has just waken up in his friend's bedroom. "But then again, every female in this building is hot so far. Except for May, she's way too innocent and cute", he adds. "Jesus. Sometimes I wonder whether you were given the correct second name."

"Of course. Being greedy implies lustfulness, after all." "So you didn't nail that princess girl because of her prettiness in the first place, but rather because of her money?" "Okay, first of all, Cat doesn't even have access to that money. And yes, she is hot and stuff but that's not the point." "Then what is the point? Her friendship with Envy? Oh man."

"Oh, come on. Haven't you gotten tired of judging me all the time?" "Not really. But speaking of _getting tired_ – what happened between you and your _mate_? Did _D._ ask you to end your _bromance_ or something?" "Nope." " _Nope_? That's it?" "Nope, there's one more thing I'd like to say – I'm going to take a shower now, if you don't mind." Kimblee answers with a quizzical look...

OOO

"Now it's official. _Something_ did happen", he announces when he and Edward are later sitting in the living room of flat 1b. "Define _something_." "Actually, that's the reason why I'm here. I was hoping, that you could tell me about it." "How would I know?" "I have reason to believe that you are responsible for Ling Greed's strange behaviour."

"But... I'd never hurt him for no reason! Ling Greed may be an asshole but he's still my friend! Or at least... He was..." "Well. Apparently that's exactly the way you treat your friends." Edward is visibly scandalised. "Say that again!", he hisses with clenched fists. "Please. You know it's true", answers Kimblee with composure.

"Ever since you came to this town, you've been causing damage. You neglected your family, turned a cold-hearted slut into a romantic, stole a bon viveur's enjoyment of life and broke an innocent girl's heart. Don't you see it?" "Shut up, Kimblee! Because right now, you're just sounding like -!" "Envy?" Edward's silence speaks volumes.

"Oh yes, Edward Elric. Envy may be a psychopath but he's also a hell of an expert in human nature. Which is something, he and I are having in common, by the way." Edward does not answer. Instead, he just asks the following question, a few seconds later: "Why haven't you told her?" "Sorry, but you need to be a little more specific."

"Winry. Why haven't you told her about the _White Rabbit..._?" "Because I saw no need to tell her that." "You're lying!" "Oh, am I?" "Yes, you are! Ling Greed told me a different story! According to him, you're merely keeping my bisexuality a secret from Winry because you're assuming that she would like me better if she found out!"

Kimblee snorts mockingly. "Oh my. You certainly are a naïve person, aren't you?" "What...?", asks Edward with a confused mien. "Come on, you know what I mean." "Sorry to disappoint you, but I'm thoroughly clueless." "Fine. If so, let me open your eyes. Your friend Ling Greed is clearly manipulating you." "What...? That's nonsense...!"

"No, it's not. Why else would he try to make it look like my motives were solely based on jealousy?" "What are you talking about? He's never done such a thing!" "Really? Because if so, let me ask you a question! If the roles were reversed, would you keep my bisexuality a secret from Winry?" "Of course, I would!" "Why?" "Because everything else would just be... Mean..."

"All right, then. One more question", announces Kimblee nonchalantly. "Shoot!", hisses Edward through gritted teeth. "We both know that Winry isn't homophobic. But despite her tolerance towards homosexuality, there's no way she'd ever accept female _and_ male rivals." "Well... Probably not... I think...", mumbles the blond.

"You do? Well, if so, you're obviously clever enough to know that your bisexuality would most likely scare her away. And now tell me – what makes you think that I wouldn't be able to figure that one out, too?" "Okay, wait a sec! Are you saying that you're actually keeping my secret for the simple reason that you're trying to be a decent person...?"

"This isn't about me and my motives. This is about Ling Greed talking you into thinking that I am the enemy." "But why the fuck should he do that? You're his best friend!" "So are you. And yet he's trying to manipulate you. He's even tried to seduce you, hasn't he?" "What...? No...!" Kimblee raises an eyebrow to emphasise his disbelief.

"Okay, let's say, he has! So what? I mean, what benefit would he derive from that?" "Hem, let's see. What do you and I have in common?", asks Kimblee with a conspiratorial smirk. "Well... We both like sciences..." "Right. What else?" "We... Both kinda have the hots for Winry and for Lu..." "Here you are. _Mate_." Edward is speechless.

However, this does not last for long: "No, that's bullshit! Ling Greed isn't such a mendacious asshole!" "Is that so? Then tell me – when did he try to seduce you for the first time?" "After I'd told him about my issues with Envy...!" "Which makes perfect sense. Because whenever Envy hates someone, Ling Greed starts considering this person his enemy too."

"What the...? Okay, now you're officially talking hogwash! I mean, these two hate each other's guts!" "Right. But Ling Greed strongly believes that his brother only hates people out of jealousy. So according to him, Envy tends to hate others for _being_ something that he himself isn't. Or for _possessing_ something that he doesn't _possess_. As a result of this, Ling Greed starts hating them too."

"But you -!" "I've been in the exact same situation, when I first met the Bradleys. Wrath and Sloth have been disapproving of my _uncivilised_ behaviour, Pride used to snub me, Lust has been eager to get laid by me, Envy used to envy me and Greed has been doing his utmost to seduce me." "You mean...?" "No, he wasn't trying to have sex with me. He had other strategies in store."

"What kind of strategies...?" "Well... He'd been able to see my dark side long before everyone else did. And not only has he been able to see it, but also to _impregnate_ it, in a way. One thing led to another until we committed a horrible crime one day. But we got away with it. Thanks to Lust who's been serving as our alibi." Edward gulps. "What kind of crime did you commit...?"

"We robbed a restaurant. And then I blew up the building. Nobody got harmed. Except for one person. A female Scottish officer by the name of Maria Ross has been burnt to death", answers Solf with composure. Ed cannot believe his ears: "Fuck...! That's more than horrible...!" "Yes, it is." The blond gulps again. "What happened next...?" "I blew up my house, got institutionalised."

"And Ling Greed...?" "He found himself another hobby. Gambling. But one more time, he got away with it. This time, Olivier Mira Armstrong helped out. She gave him all the money that he needed in order to clear his debts." "Why would she do that?" "Well. Many people tend to sympathise with him. They think he's the outcast of the Bradley family." "And has he at least learned his lesson?"

"Yes and no. He did stop gambling. But only to the benefit of his next hobby. You." "I...?" "Yes, you." "But he's been ignoring me for days!" "Believe it or not – I've already noticed that." "If so, can you tell me what that means?" "Well, apparently he got what he wanted and thus lost his interest in you." "What is it that he wanted from me...?" "What is it that he took from you?"

Edward does not answer right away. But then: "No, I don't accept that! Ling Greed is not the one who _made_ me bisexual! He's not responsible for that!" "You're right, he isn't. And neither is he responsible for my dark side. These are _our_ weaknesses. And just to make this clear – I'm not accusing him of turning innocent people into bad guys." "Then what are you accusing him of...?"

"Like I said, Ling Greed manipulates others. He uses people's weaknesses _systematically_ against them, in order to eliminate them. To eliminate competitors like you, me and Envy." "Envy...?" "Of course. Who do you think was Envy's first fuck?" "Hell no...!" "Oh yes. You see? Ling Greed does hate Envy for being a bully. But the reason why he hates his younger brother in the first place is -"

"Lust...!" "Precisely." "But why...? Why his own sister of all people?" "Because except for Envy, she's the only person in that family, he can actually relate to. Attractive... Addictive... Screwed up..." "So you're saying that all these characteristics are pertaining to both Lust and Envy?" "Yes. And if it weren't for his heterosexuality, he probably would hate Lust instead of Envy." "Speaking of Envy..."

"You can't trust him, either." "I can't...?" "Of course not. And frankly, I'm a little puzzled right now. Because I just can't believe that someone of your intelligence is actually questioning Envy's evilness." "Hey, I know full well that he's a shady bastard! But when I left him in the woods the other day -" "He took revenge on you."

"Wait, what?" "That message you got, was from him." "No, you can't be serious!" Kimblee answers with a mischievous smirk. Edward, on the other hand, is visibly distraught: "But... That's just insane! _He_ is insane...! That family is -!" " _Insane_? Well, not all of them are psychopaths. I mean, Mr Bradley and Sloth may be pedants but leastwise they're not _that_ messed up."

"Ha, how ironic! How is it that you're defending these two of all people? I thought the others were your friends?" "That's true and not ironic at all. After all, these four and I are very much alike." "Good point." "Yes." "I guess, this explains a lot." "Concerning _what_?" "Your friendship with them, despite all the damage they're causing..."

"To be honest, I don't see the point in discussing my social relations. I mean, shouldn't you rather be focusing on your own friendships?" "Why do you even care?" "Don't get me wrong, but you're not the one I care about." "Wait a sec, are you actually saying that you do care about -?" "Winry? Yes, I do." "Since when...?"

"Well, I've always had a thing for people who lose themselves in their work." Edward is visibly surprised. But Kimblee has not even finished speaking yet: "But what's impressing me all the more is her _darkness-resistenz_ , if you will. It's true, light can indeed be more intriguing than darkness from time to time..." Deafening silence.

But then: "Fuck, damnit! I'm such an idiot!" "Oh yes, you are." "And what's even more humiliating is that Solf J. Kimblee of all people opened my eyes!" "Ouch. But yes, in a way, you're definitely right about that." "Fuck, damnit...!" "You're repeating yourself." "I know, okay? So shut up and tell me what to do now!" "How am I supposed to tell you what to do _and_ shut up?"

" _Kimblee_!", grunts Ed through gritted teeth. "Jesus, you're such a hothead. Anyway. If I were you, I'd go for light. Not for darkness." "How poetic." "I'll take that as a compliment. Whatever, you asked for a piece of advice and I'm giving you one. Stay away from that family. These people spell trouble. And they're by far not the only ones..." The blond's clueless mien is unmissable.

"Man, one could hold a gun to your head without you noticing it." "Who are you referring to, damnit?" "Catherine Elle Armstrong, _damnit_." "No way...!" "Oh yes." "But she's May's best friend!" "Right, but May is also one of these _darkness-resistent_ people. She's a very strong girl." "I know. And Catherine is -" " _Devious_. And one of her victims is your bespectacled friend from 3a."

"Her _victim_?" "Yeah. She's totally using him. Also, she's the kind of princess girl, who – whenever she gets into trouble – just whips her credit card out." "Hey, Kimblee, why don't you like her?" "I never said something like that. I'm just saying that she's not nearly as innocent as she pretends to be. But perhaps I shouldn't have told you this." "Why not?"

"Because having learnt this, you're surely going to sleep with her, too. And as a result of this, Winry's heart will end up like your house." "Hey, I won't break her heart, okay?" "Yes, you will. And you already did." "But how? I didn't do anything!" "You see? That's exactly the problem, Edward Elric." "Wait a sec! Has she told you about last night?"

"You mean about the brush-off you gave her?" " _Brush-off_?" "Her words, not mine." "Damnit, I was merely trying to treat her like someone special!" "Well, unfortunately, she read your behaviour as disinterest." "Shit...!" "You don't say." "I need to fix this immediately!" "Good luck with that." "Shut your sarcastic trap!" Solf rolls his eyes. "Okay. Time to go." "What? Why are you leaving?"

"Because romanticism is something, I can't help you with. However, I'm sure your brother could." "Alphonse..." "Wow, so do you remember his name." "Okay, enough! Get the hell out of here!", commands Edward furiously. Kimblee answers with a teasing smirk. "Gladly, my friendly neighbour. But there's something I'd like to make sure first." "What is it, huh?"

"Well. I know, I advised you to stay away from the Bradley family. But I hope that this will have no bearing on Thanksgiving." Ed does not answer right away. But then: "Don't worry. I'm still in." "Interesting. If you don't mind me asking – what's your motivation?" "Well... _D._ is still out there. And after everything I learned today, I'm more determined than ever to learn their other secrets!"

"And what if I've just made it up? The whole story about Ling Greed and all that." "Why would you?" "Because I'm a maniac", answers Solf unsentimentally, as if he were talking about the weather. "So true. But unlike these guys, you're a man of principles, too." "Principles, huh? I've just provided you with information that could ruin their lives."

"Yes. But you only did that because you're considering me a trustworthy person. After all, you're aware that I'm too _soft-hearted_ to betray them. No matter how badly they'd deserve it..." "Wow. Impressing." "See, Kimblee? You're by far not the only potential detective." Solf just smirks conspiratorially in reaction to Edward's remark...

OOO

In the evening, Fu Chang is going through hell. This was originally supposed to be his granddaughter's first day at the _Dragon's Pulse_. But since she did not show up, he has to work harder than ever. The seventy-year-old is fuming. However, he is convinced that nobody will notice that. After all, he is good at hiding his feelings at work.

But: "Excuse me, Sir. But is everything all right?" Mr Chang answers with an astonished look. That must be the first time that a stranger is actually showing interest in his mood. "I am. Thank you for asking, young lady", he answers with a grandfatherly grin. The twenty-three-year-old British woman with the cross necklace answers with an angelic smile...

OOO

Exiting the restaurant, she accidentally bumps into a man. As a result of this, she drops all three boxes, that are filled with Chinese food, and almost falls backwards. However, the man, she has bumped into, manages to grasp her arms just in time. The young lady blushes immediately. "I'm so sorry...!" "No, I'm sorry, it was completely my fault", answers Scar, who is still holding her...

OOO

Thirty minutes later, Scodran Khan and Rose Thomas are entering the residential building together. After their little accident, he has offered to replace the uneatable food. Even though, Fu has refused to accept the money, Scar has insisted on paying for everything. "I really don't know what to say, Mr... Scodran..." "Please, you don't need to say anything. Just consider it a welcome gift."

Rose answers with a soft chuckle before suddenly blushing a new. "What is it?", asks Scar, his voice and face emotionless as usual. "Well... My flatmate is going to dine out this evening and I was just wondering whether you might me interested in sharing this eatable _welcome gift_ with me, perhaps...?" Scar does not answer right away which causes Rose to blush all the more...

OOO

Meanwhile, Jean is having a drink at the same hotel bar as last time. The radio is playing Lana Del Rey's song _The Other Woman._ "Hey there, handsome!", he suddenly hears someone exult behind him. Someone whose voice sounds very familiar to him. "Rebecca! What are you doing here?", he asks with a smile on his face, before asking the barkeeper non-verbally to give her a drink.

"Well... I was just having a date with a man who smokes even more cigarettes than you do." "Ouch." "Oh yes." "Come on! Smokers aren't that terrible!" "Well. Not every smoker looks like you, if you know what I mean." "Yeah, totally. Thanks, Bex", answers Jean happily. Rebecca returns his smile. "Oh, he's also married, by the way."

"What a drongo! Someone like you deserves better! Rebecca Catalina is not _the other woman_!" "Wow. Lucky me. Compliments like these are exactly what I'm needing at the moment!" "Same." Both of them laugh amusedly. After that, Bex raises her glass. "To all the bully-victims of Cupid out there!" "To all the bully-victims of Cupid out there!", repeats Jean with a smirk on his face.

At that moment, they do not notice the third bully-victim of Cupid, who is secretly watching them from outside. _"I knew it...!"_ , hisses Solaris Lust inwardly before quickly whipping her smartphone out and leaving the following voicemail: "Envy? It's me! Remember how I refused your offer? Well, I changed my mind! I want you to help me _ruin_ that son of a bitch!"

OOO

Later that evening, Trisha is decorating the windows of her new flat. It is only when she coincidentally sees a familiar black car drive up, that she pauses for a moment so she can focus on the happening outside. After having gotten out of the car, King Wrath Bradley, who is holding a black umbrella, opens the passenger door like a true gentleman.

Only now does a gloved female hand appear. King gentlemanly takes that hand, in order to help _her_ getting out of the car too. Since Mr Bradley is covering her head with his umbrella, Trisha cannot see her face. But for some inexplicable reason, she is just dying to see her new neighbour from 2a. Or in other words: _The other woman_...


	17. American

**IMPORTANT INFORMATION AHEAD:**

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own anything, not the brand names, not the song titles and especially not Fullmetal Alchemist.

 **Character:** Unfortunately, some of the (new) characters will be suffering from OOC-behaviour. But I promise you, this will not last forever. Because some of them are going to change later on.

 **Allusion:** I think nobody missed the Maria Ross-fire-allusion in the last chapter. Besides, do you remember how Brotherhood-Edward does not tell Winry anything about his dark journey, in the beginning? And how she keeps repeating that she is tired of waiting all the time? Good. Also, do you remember the white flowers in the third Brotherhood-opening? I think these are jasmines (;

 **Location:** Remember the café, BH-Edward and BH-Alphonse are sitting in, right after Edward has used his alchemy for hours, just to catch Scar's attention? That location will be appearing in this chapter.

 **\- Chapter 17: American -**

On Sunday, Ed decides to search for Winry in the back courtyard after dinner. "In case you're looking for _Iggy Azalea_ – she just left", announces a woman, whose voice does not sound familiar to him. With a quizzical look in his golden eyes, he slowly turns around. The seventeen-year-old Chinese, who is holding a cigarette in her hand, smirks cheekily, before taking another puff.

"Wait... Are you Lan Fan...?" "Right. And you must be Edward Elric. Sixteen years old, Azerbaijani-American origins, Aries, math genius and a downright hothead." "What the...? Who told you this? Speak!" "I got my sources, don't you worry about that", retorts Lan Fan, who is obviously not the slightest bit impressed by his masterful tone.

"Okay... If so, wouldn't it be fair to give me some information about yourself? Because right now, the only thing I know about you, is your name...!" "Alright then. I'm seventeen years old, Chinese and an Aries. I'm not bad at geography, but my real passion is Kung Fu. Also, I love listening to _Queen_ and smoking weed."

"And you're from America." "From Seattle, yes." "And you just got kicked out of school..." "Because the principal got high by the hash cookies, I'd given him." "And what kind of girl would give his principal hash cookies...?" "A girl who hates _trumpists_." Edward, who was just being in full flow a few seconds ago, is gradually running out out of questions.

"My turn!", decides Lan Fan masterfully. "I'm an open book!", announces with a determined look. "Is _Iggy Rockbell_ your girlfriend?", she asks straightforward. "Um... Well..." "Yes or no?" "No, she isn't, okay?", he grunts. "Wow, easy!" "Sorry..." "Never mind. Come on, let's make out!" "What the...? No!" "Ouch. I knew it. Perhaps, I should have asked the Jewish beau from 3a instead."

"Why haven't you...?" "Because he's shy and cute. You, on the other hand, are bold and hot." "Thank you. So are you." "But?" "Um... I may not be in a relationship yet, but I'm kinda working on it, you know?" "I see." "Yeah..." "How about a deal then?" "What sort of deal?", asks Ed with a sceptical look. "I'll give you a _hand_."

"Hey, I don't need your... _Help..._!" "Really, huh? Then tell me – how long have two been trying to become a couple?" Deafening silence. "Oops. See? Apparently, you do need my _hand_." Edward bares his teeth, grunting: "Hey, before I'll say anything else, I want you to tell me what you're expecting in return!"

"Man, you're hundred percent killjoy." "And you are crazy! Just like almost everyone else in this town! Therefore, me being suspicious is more than understandable!" "Yeah, whatever. All I want is something to do." "Whatcha mean by that...?" "A fuck, a joint, a mission, a _something_." "What are you, nuts? I'm not a pimp or a dealer or...!"

Only now does he suddenly remember _something_. And as a result of this, he instantly comes up with an idea, that is clever on the one hand but risky on the other hand. "Come with me! I have a mission for you!", he announces ceremoniously. Lan Fan answers with an unimpressed look. After that, she just takes another puff of her cigarette...

OOO

"How is it that we haven't met yet?", asks Solf J. Kimblee with a charming smirk, after having met May's cousin in Edward's room. "Well. I guess that's because I'm usually avoiding terrorists", retorts Lan Fan sarcastically. Kimblee's smirks conspiratorially. "Looks like my reputation is preceding me. _Miss_ _Expulsion-From-School_."

"Yes, it is. _Mister_ _Expulsion-From-Society_ ", answers the quick-witted girl dryly. "Wow. Hot _and_ bitchy. I'm already yours", announces Kimblee with a naughty smirk. "Sorry, but I'm already promised to a better man. He's a heroin addict, who's living in a very luxurious carton under the bridge." "Dammit. I think, I've just come off."

That is more than Edward can take: "Okay, stop! Both of you! We're here to talk about something important and not to do whatever the fuck you two were just doing!" "Shame on you, killjoy", mutters Solf dryly. "Then tell me why this maniac is allowed to be here in the first place!", commands Lan Fan harshly.

"Because he and I are planning on doing something! Something you could help us with!", answers Edward. Kimblee is surprised: "Since when do you trust strangers with secrets like these?" "Hey, she and I are having an agreement! She offered to help me with my... Issues. But I have to give her a job as a quid pro quo!", explains Edward. "A _job_?", asks Solf with a slightly confused mien.

"Yeah. I kinda asked him to give me something to do, something to smoke or someone to fuck." "It's a shame that I'm not having a say in that matter", complains Kimblee dryly. "Hey, Kimblee! I'm warning you! Stop hitting on her, already!", hisses Edward. Solf answers with a teasing smirk. "Oh come on. First Winry, now Lan Fan?"

"Hey, Lan Fan is just a friend, okay?", clarifies Ed. "Yeah, Ed is right. And you know what? This is the best three-minute friendship, I've ever had", interposes Lan Fan sarcastically. Kimblee answers with amused laughter. Edward, on the other hand, is not amused at all: "I hate you. _And_ you." " _And_ I don't care. Just tell me what I have to do, damnit!", groans Lan Fan.

"Fine! You have to get us something from the attic of a house that is... Well... Not ours...!", reveals Edward, less confidently than intended. Lan Fan raises an eyebrow: "You mean like _stealing_?" "No. More like _borrowing_ ", retorts the blond boy. "Sounds pretty... Illegal", she remarks dryly. "Tell me more!", she commands enthusiastically.

"It's actually quite simple. The people who are living there, will be here with us that day. And since we have the keys, all you have to do is search for clues in the attic. Kimblee is going to help you." "Why can't I just do it on my own?", she asks. "Because no one knows that family better than he does! Also, that way, the others will think that the reason for your absence is a secret date."

"Clever", remarks Lan Fan this time. "You don't say", retorts Edward dryly. The only girl in the room shrugs. "Anyways. Count me in." "Seriously?", ask the two boys in unison. Lan Fan nods, her look thoroughly indifferent. "Sure, why not? The only day, I won't be available, is Thanksgiving. _Iggy_ invited me. Because I'm American."

"Wait a sec! Winry's celebrating Thanksgiving?", asks Ed with a confused mien, before suddenly remembering: "Uh, right! Her flatmate's an American, too...!" "Yeah. But their guests ain't. She said, they'd invite many guests this year, including you and the _terrorist_." Kimblee rolls his eyes in reaction to that nickname. Yet, he cannot hold back a smirk.

Edward, on the other hand, is not in the mood for a smirk: "But... She can't do that! My mother's planning on inviting them, too...! Damnit...!" "So what? As far as I know, it's definitely allowed to celebrate Thanksgiving in two different apartments at the same time", interposes the only girl in the room sarcastically.

"That's not the point, okay? The guest lists are most probably identical! My mother has already organized a lot of things and I relly don't wanna see her be disappointed! The same goes for my brother, by the way! Because he freaking loves Thanksgiving...!" Kimblee and Lan Fan do not answer right away.

But then, May's cousin suddenly comes up with an idea: "How about a progressive dinner? Wouldn't that be the solution?" "Um... I'm sure I'd be able to answer this question, if I just knew what the hell you're talking about", retorts Ed sarcastically. Lan Fan rolls her eyes. "You know what? Let me handle this. And in the meantime..." "Yes?", ask the boys in unison.

"You two can guess which body part of mine might be tattooed." Without awaiting an answer, Lan Fan just exits the room. "Wow. That girl definitely needs a therapist", remarks Edward dryly, after she has left. Kimblee shrugs. "Yeah, maybe. Anyway. I say, the tattooed body part is her arse." Ed answers with a distraught look...

OOO

"A progressive dinner? What's that supposed to be?", asks Winry interestedly, when she, her flatmates, Maes Hughes and Lan Fan are sitting in the kitchen of flat 3b. "A progressive dinner is usually hosted by more than one household. Each household is responsible for one part of the menu." "In other words – the perfect idea for Thanksgiving!", interposes Maes enthusiastically.

"Why is that?", asks Roy with a confused mien. "Because this year, I got two invitations. One by you and one by my friendly ex-neighbour Trisha Elric. And you know what else? You and your flatmates will be invited, too!", announces Maes happily. "Says who...?", asks Roy, who is obviously still confused and also a little surprised.

"Trisha herself said that, when we coincidentally met on the stairs. That way, she wants to thank you for your support. And needless to say – our boss will be her guest too", answers Hughes euphorically. "Oh, Ms Elric is such a kind woman!", remarks Winry with a smile on her face. Nobody contradicts...

OOO

Later that evening, Trisha shares the news with her two sons, while she is preparing dinner in her new kitchen. "The main course will be served in apartment 3b and the desserts here, in 1b! Isn't that a lovely idea?" Contrary to their expectations, it is Alphonse, who sort of objects: "The idea itself is cool... But ever since, it's been father's, Ed's and my tradition to prepare the turkey together!"

"I know, honey! I've already talked with Mr. Mustang about that and he had an idea. That day, Winry and the other girls are going to give me a hand in the kitchen, whereas you two are going to prepare the turkeys in apartment 3b. With so many guests invited, we'll need more than one turkey, won't we?" And just like that, Al is happy again: "You're right, mom! And you can count me in!"

"Me, either!", interposes Edward, much to his mother's and his brother's surprise. Trisha answers with an angelic smile. "But just so you know! The turkey, Al and I are gonna prepare, will definitely kick Mustang's turkeys' asses!", announces the older Elric-boy with a bold grin. Alphonse and Trisha shake their heads and chuckle softly...

OOO

"A progressive _what the hell_?", asks Olivier Mira Armstrong with crossed arms, when she and her friends Rebecca, Roy, Maes, Scodran and Jean are sitting in the staff room one day later. "Haven't you ever watched _Desperate Housewives_?", asks Rebecca. Olivier's look says it all. "It's okay. You don't need to answer", mutters Bex dryly.

Olivier discreetly rolls her eyes. "Anyway. Since this is going to be my first Thanksgiving dinner, I have no idea what's expecting me." Rebecca is visibly confused: "But how is that even possible? 3b has invited us so many times!" "Right, but Mademoiselle Armstrong never bothered to accept my generous invitations. And neither did Miles and Scar", interposes Roy with a reproachful look.

"Oh, but don't worry, guys! You just have to tell him you'll bring desserts and side dishes!", begins Maes. "And then?", asks Scar. "And then you'll bring nothing more than a bottle of alcohol!", answers Rebecca. "Trust me, we do that every year and so far, Roy hasn't kicked us out! Not even once!", interposes Hughes. The others answer with amused laughter.

Except for Roy: "Funny, guys. Very funny." "Oh come on, we're just kidding! This year will be different! I mean, even our boss is going to be there, right?", warbles Rebecca. "So what? Do I have to bake a pie or what?", asks Scodran, who is obviously confused as well as annoyed at that moment. "Oh come on, Scar! This is not about Thanksgiving!", interposes Maes.

"This is about supporting a kind woman who's happened to invite too many guests! Including you and your delinquent flatmate!", he adds. Scar does not answer directly. But finally, he recognises defeat: "Fine. But someone will have to help me. Unless, instant noodles are part of a traditional Thanksgiving menue." This is Maes' catchword: "Why don't you just team up with our _General_?"

Scar and Olivier answer with puzzled looks. Roy, on the other hand, snorts with laughter. "Hey, Mustang. What's your beef?", asks Olivier with a raised brow. "Please, don't get me wrong, love. But seeing you work in a kitchen, would surely break my heart", answers Roy sarcastically, after having cleared his throat. "Well, I myself would prefer to break your leg", retorts Olivier dryly.

"But whatever, challenge accepted!", she then announces, although Scar has not even given his okay yet. "I'm already looking forward to tasting your pie", retorts Roy with a triumphant smirk. Awkward silence. "Come on, guys! You know what I mean!", he grunts with blushed cheeks, while slapping himself inwardly _._ Obviously, _abstinence_ does not do him any good in the long term...

OOO

In the afternoon, Edward and Lan Fan are working in the restaurant kitchen. "Um... As far as I know, her favorite novel is _Harry Potter_. And her favorite drink is Pepsi Cola..." "Wow. I'm starting to like _Iggy_." "Hey, her name's Winry, okay?" "And _Winry_ is obviously a fan of mysteries." "Yeah, so?" "Well, it's actually very simple. Just ask her to join our mission."

"What? Are you crazy? That would be way too dangerous!" "Maybe. But that way, she'd get the impression that you're actually trusting her!" "Why...?" "You see? There's one thing that no girl can stand. Secrets. Listen! Whenever two people share a secret, they automatically stick together. And vice versa. Therefore, you should never keep someone in the dark about something."

"I understand..." "You do?" "Yeah... But still... The moment, I tell her everything, _D._ will start targeting her, too!" "I don't think so." "Why not?" "Because as far as I know, _D._ only targets those who are having secrets. Winry, on the other hand, is most probably having a clean slate, so." Edward does not answer.

Only after a while does he finally announce: "I'll think about it!" "You will?" "Yes. But until then, you have to keep her busy!" "What do you mean by that?" "Befriend her!" "But doesn't she already have enough friends?" "Yeah. But recently, May is being too busy with her relationship. Winry needs a new friend so she doesn't have to be alone!" "Why is that?"

"Well... Whenever she's feeling neglected, she..." "Beds your creepy neighbor?" "Yeah..." "Okay, if so, I'm totally in." "You are...?" "Yeah, why not?" Edward nods silently. "Thanks... Lan Fan..." "You're welcome, shorty." "NOBODY CALLS ME SHORT AND GETS AWAY WITH IT!", rants Ed. Her only answer is an unimpressed look.

"Getting old", remarks Ling Greed, who just came out of nowhere. Edward and Lan Fan abruptly turn their heads. The older boy smirks naughtily. "You must be Lan Fan." "And you must be that one Bradley-kid with the Chinese donor", she retorts dryly. "Oh. Now I understand what Kimblee was talking about", answers Greed sarcastically. Ed rolls his eyes: "Oh man. I'm off."

"Good. Now we're finally alone", whispers Ling Greed with a conspiratorial smirk. "So what?", asks Lan Fan as indifferently as possible. "Oh come on. You've been working so hard all day, you should take a break. Luckily, I know how to kill time." May's cousin rolls her eyes. "Charming. But guess what, I'm not one of your possessions." Ling Greed answers with amused laughter.

"I'm afraid, that's what everyone's saying in the beginning. Nevertheless, I always end up getting what I want." "Oh. Is that why you're so messed up?" "Precisely." "Sorry. But I know guys like you. And frankly, I'm done with them." "Oh. Are we talking about a broken heart?", pouts Ling Greed mockingly.

"No. About broken bones", retorts Lan Fan with a cheeky smirk. "Therefore, you shouldn't dare to cross the line. Unless, you wanna end up like them, of course", she whispers into his ear. "Blow. I'm having a boner", he announces in a whisper. "If so, I guess, you should take a break. Not I." Ling Greed answers with an amused grin...

OOO

"Hey, _Iggy_. How good are you at keeping secrets?", asks Lan Fan, while she and Winry are decorating flat 3b, one week later. "Why are you asking me this...?" "Because there's something I wanna tell you. But you have to swear you won't judge me or tell anyone!" "Oh my... Is it really that bad...?" "Define _bad_." "I don't know. A murder would be bad for instance." "No murders."

"Or arson." "Nope." "Or a robbery." "Wrong again. Gosh, why are you just assuming the worst, huh?" "Because I am a tolerant person! Which means that this secret you're referring to, has to be very scandalous in order to scare me away!" "Sounds promising." "Does it...?", asks Winry with an insecure look. "Oh, don't be afraid! It's actually not that dramatic!"

"Perhaps, you should leave that decision to me." "Okay, listen. A former roomie of mine has stolen something. I don't live there any more. Not officially. But I kept the keys." "And now you're planning on using them to get it back?" "Clever girl." "I don't even think this is a crime." "If so, I assume that you're in, then?"

"Wait, what?" "Oh come on, _Iggy_. This isn't about me. This is about a friend who needs help. And you happen to know him, too." " _Him?_ " "Exactly." "Oh my...! You're talking about Ed...!" "Possibly." "He wants to use the keys of the Bradley house...!" "Possibly." "Lan Fan, please! You need to tell me everything!"

"I'd love to. But I can't. He asked me to keep my mouth shut." "But... Why...?" "Well, he just wants to protect you." "But... Who's going to protect him...?" "Oh, trust me. He doesn't care about that. And he has his reasons." "What reasons?" "Maybe you should ask him." Winry blows out her cheeks. But Lan Fan knows how to keep a secret...

OOO

In the evening, Trisha is being busy decorating flat 1b. And Ed, Al and Selim are giving her a hand. "No offence, Edward. But perhaps you should leave the details to us", remarks Pride in a snobbish tone. "And you, on the other hand, should go to bed, perhaps!", hisses Edward through gritted teeth. "Come on, guys! Everything looks great!", intervenes Alphonse. His smile thoroughly angelic.

Pride opens his mouth to say something else, when the doorbell suddenly rings. "Lucky brat!", grunts Ed and heads for the door. After having opened it, his look turns immediately from angry into surprised: "Winry...!" "Hallo, Ed..." "Um... Wanna come in...?" "No... We need to talk... Outside... In private...!" Edward answers with a quizzical look...

OOO

"Kung Fu or not – that girl is dead!", hisses Edward with clenched fists, while he and Winry are sitting in her car, that is parking in the garage behind the residential building. "Don't blame her! She just wants to help!" "See, Winry? That's exactly the problem! You're way too credulous!" "Oh, is that so? Then tell me! Who trusted Lan Fan first, huh?" "I don't trust her! I made a deal with her!"

"A deal...?" "Yeah..." "What kind of deal...?" Ed does not answer. "Wait, let me guess! She's going to help you with your stupid operation and in return, you'll have sex with her!" "What? No!" "Don't lie to me, Ed!" "Hey, I'm not lying to you!" "Yes, you are! But after all these weeks, you owe me an honest answer! So tell me! How is it that you're sleeping with everyone except for me?" "Winry...!"

"No, hush! I haven't finished speaking yet! There are times when you're not even looking at me and then again, there are times when you and I are finally getting closer but..." "Winry..." "Listen, Ed! I'm not greedy, okay? Everything I want is an answer! An honest answer! Am I being off the track...?" Deafening silence.

But then: "No, you're not... Truth be told, I'm... Sort of having a crush on you, ever since we met..." "If so, why haven't we managed to move forward, yet...?" "I guess... Something always got in the way..." " _Something_? Or _someone_...?" "Why don't you just answer this question, huh?", hisses Edward through gritted teeth. Winry sighs.

"I can't believe we're actually talking about him! Just for the record – I am _not_ in love with Solf J. Kimblee!" " _Love_ , huh? Interesting choice of words." "Come on, Ed! You can't just put the blame on me! You slept with that grunter before I even had my first kiss! What you did was pathetic! However, what I did was self-protection!" "And disgusting!"

"Right, what you did with her, wasn't disgusting at all!" "Hey, I've regretted it since the moment, I got out of that car!" "Gross!" "She manipulated me!" "I'm sure that's what they used to say in medieval times about _witches_!" "She told me that you wouldn't wanna sleep with a male virgin!" " _She_ , _she_ , _she_! I don't care, what _she_ did! _You_ are the one that matters to me!"

"Okay, you know what? You're right! I made a mistake! No, wait! I made many mistakes! And nobody is more ashamed of them than me! Which is why I'm trying to change! I don't wanna be like _them_! I wanna be somebody who treats you well...!" Winry cannot believe her ears: "Is... That why you haven't -?" "Slept with you that night? Yes, damnit!" "Ed..."

"But instead of trusting me, you -!" "Kimblee and I didn't have sex that day, okay?" "Is... That true?" "Of course, it is! Why would I ever lie to you? You are the one who's having secrets!" "Don't you get it? I just wanna -!" "Protect me? Your loss! Because I'm tired of waiting and doing nothing else all the time! How are we supposed to move forward when you're still trying to keep me out...?"

Silence. "You know what, Ed? Kimblee may be a drongo but at least he doesn't treat me like a stupid, little child!" That hit home: "Shut up! The reason why I'm treating you like a stupid, little child is because I don't wanna jeopardize your life! Kimblee, on the other hand, doesn't give a damn about your safety! I mean, why should he? _D._ didn't burn down his house, after all!"

" _D._? Who is _D_.?" When Edward realises that he has just blurted everything out, he immediately slaps himself mentally: "Shit...!" Winry does not react at first. But then she unexpectedly takes his hand. "Ed, please...! Just tell me everything...! You can trust me...!" "Okay... You win...", announces Ed after a few seconds. Winry answers with an angelic smile...

OOO

On Tuesday, it is Roy's turn to look after the students in the playground. Only by the end of the break does he coincidentally witness something alarming: After having talked with Solaris Lust the entire time, an older boy, who is a downright muscleman, suddenly starts cornering her. "Leave me alone, Roa!" "Sorry, but no chance!", answers Roa, a twenty-year-old Russian.

"Hey! You heard what the lady said! Leave her alone!", intervenes Roy Mustang, who came out of nowhere. Solaris Lust answers with an astonished look: "Mr Mustang!" The molester, on the other hand, starts laughing mockingly. "Mustang, huh? Long time, no see, teacher! So? Are we still riding your students?"

"Shut up, you arsehole!", hisses Solaris. "Don't you speak to me that way, you little slut!", grunts Roa and is just about to slap her, when Mr Mustang suddenly grasps his wrist and commands: "Get lost! Otherwise I'll call the police!" Roa does not move, which is why Roy rises to speak again: "Now!" Still no reaction at first.

But finally, Roa just obeys and goes away. Lust sighs with relief. "Are you okay?", asks Roy tenderly. "I am... Thank you, Mr Mustang...", answers Lust with shaky hands. "Hey, your hands are shaking!" "I'm okay...! I mean it...!" Roy raises a brow to emphasise his disbelief. "Really? You can tell me what happened, if you like. I have two free periods." Lust answers with an insecure look...

OOO

"Your ex?", asks Mr Mustang with an astounded look while he and Solaris Lust are sitting in a café in Central, almost thirty minutes later. "It happened a few years ago but ever since, he's been harassing me from time to time." "I know this boy. Wasn't he your brother's friend?" "Please, don't tell Ling Greed what happened!" "Why not?" "Because he'd probably report him to the police!"

"Okay, now I'm officially confused. I mean, wouldn't that be the right thing to do?" "No, it wouldn't! You see? Actually, he's a good guy! But I broke his heart back then! Therefore, I definitely deserve it! This is all my fault, after all!" "Hey...! Don't say that!" "Please, Mr Mustang! Promise me, you won't tell anybody!" Roy does not answer right away.

But then: "All right. I won't. But in case he should harass you again, I'll break my promise immediately, okay?" Lust nods silently. "Thank you..." "You're welcome." "Also..." "Yes?" "I'm sorry!" "For what?" "For what he said... Accusing you, of all people, of... Sleeping with students... Is just unbelievable..."

"Oh please, that's not worth mentioning." "Still! I have no idea what's making him think you would actually do something like that..." "Well. Unfortunately, that's just how it goes when you're a young teacher." "Great. Looks like I should reconsider my desired career. Or at least, change my name." "Come on, Solaris is a beautiful name."

"You know full well that I'm not talking about that name. I mean, you heard him! He thinks I'm a slut! Everybody thinks I'm a slut!" "Hey, I'm sure this isn't true!" "Don't get me wrong, Mr Mustang, but you're a terrible liar." Roy answers with amused laughter. But then he strikes a more serious note: "Don't listen to them!"

"But what if they're right...? What if I'm not like other women...?" "Okay. First off, you aren't even a woman yet! You're a young girl!" "Great. Some of them think I'm a slut and the others think I'm a child." "Hey, that's not what I'm thinking!" "Then what are you thinking?" "My opinion isn't relevant." "Yes, it is." "But I'm just your teacher!"

"Then teach me, Mr Mustang!" "Wow. You're a very quick-witted girl", remarks Roy with a playful smirk on his face. "I'm not a girl..." "Is that so?" "Yes! I'm a woman! A woman, who likes to have sex! So what?" "Solaris, please. That's not -" "Appropriate? Why not, huh? Because I'm a woman and not a bloody man?"

"Oh no, you completely misunderstood! What I was saying is that your... Sexual life is nothing, you should talk about when you're having coffee with your teacher." "Oh come on, you don't have to worry about that. I won't tell your boss about our conversation. Besides, there is nothing scandalous wrong with it in the first place. I mean, you're not touching me, you're just trying to help me, right?"

"Of course!" "If so, what's the problem?" "Like I said. Some things should rather be discussed with friends. Not with teachers." Solaris Lust answers with a sad look. "Did... I say something wrong?" "No... It's just that... Well... Actually I don't have many friends...", she mumbles insecurely. "No way! You're never alone at school!"

"Maybe. But these people aren't my friends. These are just some horny schoolboys. They don't want to be my friends, they just want to use me... You, on the other hand...!" Roy answers with a quizzical look. "You're the first person who's just helped me without any ulterior motives... And you have no idea how good that feels..."

Lust pauses. "But yes, you're absolutely right! You're not my friend, you're my teacher! And I'm sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable...!" Roy gives her a look of commiseration. "Hey, you don't need to be sorry at all. Nobody got harmed. Besides, you're not the only student who's sort of considering me an advice column."

"So...?" "So, you should always feel free to talk with me, no matter what I said earlier." "But... I don't want to bother you..." "It's all right. But just do me a favor, please." "Sure. What do you want me to do?" "Well. I want you to be discreet about this." "Why?" "Well. You heard what your delinquent ex-boyfriend accused me of."

"I know for sure that you would never do something like that!" "And I really appreciate that. But I think we both know how others would reaction to these kind of things. So let's just err on the side of caution, all right?" "Alright, Sir! And thank you... For everything, Mr Mustang!" "You're welcome. And as long as we're not at school, it's Roy."

OOO

In the evening, Trisha, Alphonse, Edward and May are buying groceries for Thanksgiving in the supermarket, down the street. "Miss Elric?", asks May hesitatingly. "May, please! You can call me Trisha!" May blushes. "Come on, May! Just ask her, she won't be upset!", whispers Alphonse with an encouraging smile.

Trisha chuckles softly, before tenderly answering: "It's all right, May. You can help Mr. Khan on Thursday because I'll have enough cooking assistants anyhow, darling." "Oh, _c'est dommage_...", remarks a third female person, who came out of nowhere, just when May has been about to thank Trisha for her understanding.

All four of them abruptly turn their heads. The person who has just spoken to them, is a forty-year-old British woman with a cross necklace. She is Rose Thomas' flatmate and stepmother, in the first place. But at the same time, she is King Wrath Bradley's secret girlfriend. "Excuse me for interrupting. My name is Lyra Thomas. Nice to meet you."

OOO

"You want to help us?", asks Scodran Khan on Wednesday. A few minutes ago, he and his neighbour Rose Thomas have coincidentally met on the stairs. "Mr Mustang invited me and my mother. And he also said something about a friend who might need some help in the kitchen", answers the young lady with a kind smile on her face.

"Well. I'd love to be upset now but sadly, Mustang is right. We could indeed need some help", answers Scar dryly. "Actually, Mr Chang planned on helping us but I didn't want him to keep the restaurant closed in the afternoon, too." "That's very considerate of you!", remarks Rose shyly. Scar answers with an almost unrecognisable smile. "But please, Rose! Don't feel obliged to do it!"

"Don't listen to him, Miss", intervenes Kimblee, who just came out of nowhere. "He does need your help. And so do we because in case you shouldn't be there, he'll probably blow up the kitchen. Trust me, I know what I'm talking about." Rose chuckles softly. Scodran, on the other hand, is not quite amused by his flatmate's performance...

OOO

But only after they have entered their flat, does he confront him: "What the hell was that?" "Oh come on, Scar. My intentions were so transparent that even an autistic person like you should be able to understand it." "So you were indeed flirting with an older woman." "Nope. I'm rather trying to pair _you_ off with a _younger_ woman." "Are you daft or something?"

"The better question is – are you blind? That girl is totally having a crush on you." "No, she isn't. All that she wants is to befriend me, because she's new in town. Also, she and her boyfriend have just ended their relationship." "Then why are you being so unapproachable in the first place?" "I'm not being unapproachable."

"Yes, you are. Poor girl", remarks Kimblee dryly. "She isn't a girl, Kimblee. She is a woman." "Really, huh? How old is she?" "Twenty-three." "Wow. Too bad, that she's already falling for you. Otherwise I would have chanced my luck." "Okay, why did I allow you to move in again?", asks Scodran sarcastically.

"That's indeed a very good question", remarks a third person, who just came out of nowhere. Scar cannot believe his eyes and ears: "Miles...?" Kimblee is also quite astonished. Yet, he does not dare to say a word. This gives Miles Lowe the opportunity to rise to speak again: "It's time to change your lock, brother."

OOO

"Of course, I can help. Model making is by far not my only talent", announces Pride, while he and Trisha are sitting in the living room of house number 66 in the late afternoon. Model making is Selim's favourite hobby. At that moment, he is constructing a small train. "I know, love. The only reason why I haven't asked you earlier is the baking itself. I thought that wasn't your cup of tea."

"I'll survive it", retorts Pride sarcastically. The housekeeper chuckles. "But what about you? Is baking your only hobby?", he asks curiously. "No, dear. My true passion is gardening", answers Trisha. "If so, what is your favourite flower?", asks Selim this time. "I love jasmines." "My sister loves peonies." "Juliet Sloth or Solaris Lust?"

"Sloth, of course. Lust's favourite flowers are red roses. _Quelle surprise_." "And what else can you tell me about your siblings...?", asks Trisha cautiously. "Nothing special. Because, you know? _They themselves_ aren't special, to begin with." "I see..." "I know their birthdays and stuff like that but that's pretty much it." "Would you mind telling me when their birthdays are?"

"But that's so not important, is it?" "I'm just curious, love. So?" "Fine. Why not. Sloth's birthday is on September 1st, Greed's is on December 4th, Lust's is on October 8th, Envy's is on October 30th and father's is on January 7th." "When is your birthday?" Pride gulps discreetly. "On August... On August 13th... And yours?"

"On January 4th", answers Trisha. "I knew it!" "Knew what, love?" "That astrology is nonsense. Alphonse told me about May's addiction to astrology. What a foolish girl. You, for instance, are nothing like my father, despite your zodiac sign. The same goes for Elicia Hughes and me. I'm a Leo, she's a Leo, but we two have nothing in common."

"Oh. How is that you know that?", asks Trisha with a teasing smirk. "Well... It's the same day!" "I understand. But tell me, Selim, why don't you two get along, in the first place?" "Because she's being in competition with me all the time." "What if she's just trying to get your attention?" "No. She hates me." "Hatred is not indifference, love" Pride answers with a confused look...

OOO

On Thursday, Riza realises that there is something she is not thankful for: "Dammit! I don't know how to bake a cake!" "Don't worry, we won't be on our own", answers Kain. Adjusting his nerd glasses, he adds: "We're not the only ones who need help, which is why Miss Thomas is going to give us a hand. We'll meet at Scar's place in less than an hour." "Thank God!"

OOO

Meanwhile, Ed is waiting for Kimblee, Lan Fan and Winry in the back courtyard, while listening to Lana Del Rey's _American_ on his Ipod. It is only when his secret partners arrive, that he rises to speak: "Originally, I was planning on asking a guy I know to deliver a vegan turkey. But the turkeys will be delivered in the afternoon. Not in the evening, when the guests arrive. So. Cancelled."

Only now does Edward address himself to Winry: "Also, we're two of the hosts. Which means that _someone_ would definitely notice our absence." "Which is why, you are going to stay here. Lan Fan and I will take care of everything", continues Solf. "No!", objects the blonde girl impulsively. The other three answer with quizzical looks. "What wrong, _Iggy_?", asks Lan Fan with crossed arms.

At first, Winry does not know what to say. But then: "Um... It's just that... Please, don't get me wrong! But if you ask me, the guests definitely _would_ become suspicious if you two of all people were missing! Especially your grandfather, Lan Fan!" "And Miles", adds Kimblee. "He doesn't like you, does he?", asks Ed with a mocking smirk. "I can't blame him", answers Solf with composure.

"Okay, whatever, guys. _Iggy_ is right, Kimblee shouldn't be my partner." "But Lan Fan! I can't do it either! The guests will come over to my place after the main course!", interposes Edward. "Good! If so, I will do it!", announces Winry. "What? No way!", objects Ed masterfully. "Killjoy", remarks Lan Fan dryly. "Shut up! Both of you! Because there's no way I'm gonna allow this!", clarifies Ed.

"Too bad, that I didn't ask for your permission, Ed!", hisses the blonde. Solf just smirks amusedly in reaction to that. But Ed, who is having an argument with Winry at the moment, has not caught him doing this. Meanwhile, Lan Fan, is being busy with something else, because suddenly: "I have an idea, guys!" Everyone falls silent and looks at her. The new girl just smirks conspiratorially...


	18. Delicious

**IMPORTANT INFORMATION AHEAD:**

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own anything, not the brand names, not the song titles and especially not Fullmetal Alchemist.

 **Content:** This chapter is going to contain one lemon (pie). Other than that, be prepared for some potentially disturbing situations.

 **Allusion:** Remember how BH-Winry learns BH-Gracia's apple pie-recipe? And how BH-Lan Fan loses her arm? And how BH-Ling Greed is being disapproving of the name Ling? And the last BH-EdwardxWinry-scene? And the last conversation between BH-Pride and BH-Crimson Lotus, after Kimblee's death? Good (:

 **\- Chapter 18: Delicious -**

 _Thanksgiving Day, 11:30 p.m._

The ambulance car's siren is ear-piercing, its blue light is dazzling. Ed, Solf and Winry are speechless ad motionless. Suddenly, all three of them are getting a text: _"Shame on you, copycats! However, I'm so impressed by your move that I don't even feel like punishing you. Also I'm thankful for that delicious dinner. What about you? Are you thankful for everyone's survival? Kisses, D."_

The three teenagers are restlessly nonplussed at that moment. And when Edward coincidentally sees Ling Greed Bradley leaning against the exterior wall of a building – his face and posture thoroughly relaxed – he cannot help but wonder whether the eighteen-year-old is being shaken at all by that terrible incident...

OOO-OOO

 _12 hours earlier..._

"Okay, now it's official! You, Lan Fan Chang, are the craziest person, I've ever met!", remarks Ed angrily, after Lan Fan has revealed her idea. "And I'm Solf J. Kimblee's neighbor!", he adds sarcastically. Winry is not necessarily upset, but rather confused: "Okay, let me get this right! You're asking me to stumble over Ed's bag and shatter all the bottles of wine and apple cider _by accident_."

Winry sighs quietly and continues: "Then, Edward will take the blame and offer to replace the beverages. And of course, I will ask him to take me with him. It was my fault, after all. But we'll both realise that we could need a driver. So far, everything makes perfect sense." "Yeah, but the rest is bullshit!", grunts Edward.

"We can't ask Ling Greed to be our driver when we're planning on snooping around his house _and_ garden!", he adds grumpily. "I know. And that's where Kimblee and I come into play", announces Lan Fan. Ed listens carefully and so do the other two. "At the supermarket, I'll decide to wait in the car", she continues. "Ling Greed would never leave you alone", interposes Solf.

"Perfect. Because that way, he and I can spend some time together. And then... It'll get dirty." "What the hell...?", ask Edward and Winry in unison and even Kimblee's mien spells confusion. "Yeah. First off, I'll say something like _'fuck 'em and let's get lost, we can pick them up later!'_ and then I'll allow him to fuck the hell out of me so you will have enough time to do what needs to be done."

Edward discreetly shakes his head in disbelief, but Lan Fan has not finished speaking yet: "Your _'fuck you, we'll head back without you assholes!'_ -message, after many calls will put an end to the the game. Just ensure that you send this text _after_ you have left Resembool. Got it?" Edward, Winry and Kimblee are speechless again...

OOO

"Four turkeys and only one oven. Perfect", grunts Ed. "Stop complaining, _Fullmetal_. Fu is allowing us to use the oven in his apartment as well as the ones in his restaurant kitchen", answers Roy while he, Edward and Alphonse are standing in the kitchen of flat 3b. Roy is going to prepare two turkeys on his own, whereas the Elric-brothers plan on helping each other with the other two birds...

OOO

Meanwhile, Trisha, Winry, Elicia, Selim and Lyra are preparing the baking process in the kitchen of flat 1b. "Apple pie is my favourite food of all time! And nobody can copy my mother's recipe for apple pies better than Winry! Which is why, she'll be my partner today! Mine alone!", boasts Elicia. "So what? The pumpkin pies, Trisha and I are going to bake will taste better!", announces Pride.

"Actually, I was hoping that you would rather give me a hand, Selim. Because I'm planning on baking vegan mincemeat pies and according to Trisha's words, you know everything about vegan food", intervenes Lyra suddenly. "And according to his own words, he knows everything about everything", interposes Elicia sarcastically.

Selim rolls his eyes. "Please, Miss Thomas. Ignore that girl, just like I do. And yes, as long as Trisha is fine with it, I'll join your team instead of hers." "Of course, love!", interposes Trisha. But for some inexplicable reason, she secretly is not that fine with it. Another thing, she does not like is Lyra's fragrance _Chanel N°5_. And Trisha has her reasons.

"A team? That's nonsense, Bradley! Miss Thomas isn't a team and so isn't Trisha, as long as she's on her own!", hisses Elicia snobbishly. "Did someone say something?", asks Selim to emphasise his indifference. "Young love, huh?", whispers Lyra with an amused smirk into Trisha's ear. "Yeah. Tell me about it", murmurs Trisha with a rather insincere smile on her face...

OOO

In flat 2b, Olivier Mira Armstrong is the one in charge: "All right, soldiers! Today's the day, I'm going to make Mustang cry! We're lucky to have May, Lan Fan, Jean and Miss Thomas here because losers like us will need skilful partners. But just so you know – the pecan pies will be my burden! Mine alone! But the rest will be decided now! Let's start with the mashed potatoes."

Jean is the first one who raises his hand: "Here!" Olivier nods. "Who else?", she asks after having written down his name. "I...!", offers Kain shyly. "Fine. What about the sweet potatoes?", continues the _General_. "I vote for Scar and Rose!", announces Miles. "Maybe, you should leave the decision to them. You know? This isn't an election for the next class representative", retorts Olivier dryly.

"It's okay, we can do that", interposes Scar unemotionally. Unlike him, Rose is smiling happily at that moment. Olivier, on the other hand, does not react at all. Instead she just continues: "What about the peanut butter pies?" "My job", announces Lan Fan as quickly as possible. "The terrorist and the cop can join me if they like", she adds with composure.

Unlike May, who is knitting her brows, Miles cannot hold back an amused smirk. "Are you in?", asks Olivier, who is addressing herself to Riza and Kimblee now. After both of them have nodded, the _General_ writes down their names too, before rising to speak again: "May, Miles, you'll be responsible for the cranberry sauces! And with that said – good luck, soldiers!"

OOO

A few hours later, Roy is preparing a turkey in his kitchen, when his smartphone, that is lying on a table, suddenly blinks. Edward, who is standing right next to that table, coincidentally catches a glimpse of the sender's name. "What the...? Hey, you just got a text from a woman by the name of _Solaris_...!" Roy answers with a reproachful look: "You checked my cell phone? How dare you?"

"Hey, I saw it by accident! But the better question is – how dare _you_?" "Silly boy. _Needless to say_ – this is not what it looks like." "Then what is _this_ , huh?" "Hey, I don't need to justify myself." "Okay! Then leave it to my imagination!" "For God's sake, _Fullmetal_! A few days ago, one of her exes badgered her at school and I intervened. Afterwards, we talked and now I'm trying to help her."

"Help her with _what_?" "Well, as far as I know, she has no one to talk to. Like no real friends. Only admirers." "That's a lie! She has Envy!" "If so, I feel all the more sorry for her." "Cut the crap! Your sarcasm won't overshadow the fact that your relationship is totally not appropriate!" "And why is that?", asks Roy nonchalantly.

"She's your damn student!" "So are you." "But..." "I'm listening." "That's not the same, okay?" "Yes, it is. You can read the texts, in case you shouldn't believe me." "Hey, you know what? You're not even the main problem! Lust is!" "Wow. How prejudice-ridden you are." "Get real, _Playroy_! That's not the only thing that has _ridden_ me!"

"Wow, wait a sec! Are you actually saying that she raped you?" "Of course!", answers Ed dramatically. Roy raises an eyebrow. "No, of course not", murmurs Ed sheepishly. "But still! She'd seduced me day by day until she finally broke me!" "How tragic." "Stop mocking me, _Mustard_! I'm just trying to warn you, damnit!"

"And I really appreciate that. But may I remind you that I'm a grown-up man?" "Sure, but may I remind you that you're a grown-up womanizer, too?" "Don't bother, _Fullmetal_. But you're right, I love women. Solaris, however, isn't a woman yet." "Trust me! Nobody is more _womanly_ than Solaris _Lust_ Bradley!"

"Maybe. But unlike horny schoolboys, I'm not sexually attracted to her. Just like Maes isn't sexually attracted to Winry and Olivier isn't sexually attracted to Ling Greed." "You're sure about that...?" "Hey, stop questioning my intentions! Not only is that impertinent, but also completely unnecessary." Edward opens his mouth to say something, when Al suddenly enters the room again...

OOO

In the meantime, Lyra and Selim are putting the last vegan mincemeat pies in the oven. "Well done, young man", she remarks with a praising smile. "I had a competent teacher", retorts Pride in a snobbish tone. But Lyra does not take it personal at all. Instead, she just chuckles. _"She's a good baker and knows how to deal with children..."_ , realises Trisha inwardly.

After having checked the time, Winry announces: "The guests will arrive in ninety minutes! Perhaps we should displace the furnitures and decorate the tall table, Mr Chang has lent us!" "I'm going to help you!", decides Elicia. "Thanks, Ellie! What about you, Selim? Will you help us, too?", asks Winry with a friendly smile.

"We don't need him!", hisses Elicia. Selim rolls his eyes. "Winry, I'll help you. And Trisha and Miss Thomas can tidy up the kitchen in the meantime." This idea sounds more like an order. "Thanks, Your Highness!", chuckles Winry. Unlike Elicia, who is rolling her eyes this time, Pride just smirks amusedly, before all three of them exit the room.

"What a darling girl", remarks Lyra with a warm-hearted smile. "Oh yes. My sons are really lucky. Both of their girlfriends as well as their friends are adorable", answers Trisha with a happy smile. "And so are your sons." "Thank you! And likewise!" " _Likewise_?" "Well, yes. I met Rose and she's a remarkable young woman."

"Indeed. And I do love her like a daughter but..." "She is not you...?" "No. She's my stepdaughter. A blood-related child... Has never been part of our God's plan..." "I see..." "Yes... But since it's Thanksgiving, I probably should emphasise how grateful I am. Because you're right, she certainly is a remarkable young woman." Trisha answers with an angelic smile. And Lyra returns it...

OOO

Unlike the others, the teams in 2b have not finished cooking and baking yet. "Mashed potatoes?", asks Olivier. "Done!", announces Jean. "Good. What about the cranberry sauces?", continues the _General_. "Done!", answer Miles and May in unison. "The sweet potatoes and all the other side dishes, Miss Thomas?", asks Olivier next.

"They're ready-to-eat!", announces Rose with a shy smile. "Perfect. What about the peanut butter pie?", asks the _General_ this time. "There are five pies left. We just have to put them in the oven", reports Riza whose face is covered in flour. "Good. You can use the oven when the pecan pies are ready", announces Olivier.

"And then, all we have to do is to tidy the kitchen", she adds in her military tone. "We can give you a hand, if you like...!", offers Rose shyly. "Thank you, but no. You and the others are dismissed. Except for the peanut butter pie-crew! They are going to help me!", decides the _General_ masterfully. Nobody dares to intervene...

OOO

A few minutes later, May Chang, Kain Fuery and Rose Thomas are carrying all the desserts – such as the pies and cranberry sauces – downstairs. Miles Lowe, Scodran Khan and Jean Havoc, on the other hand, are entering flat 3b, in order to put all the dishes for the main course on the long table, Fu has lent them.

"Congratulations, Mustang. You created a monster", remarks Miles dryly. "Is that so, Miles? And I thought you'd always had a thing for bossy women?", asks Roy sarcastically. "That's right, bossy women are adMIRAble. Which is why I'm still convinced that she'll be a wicked headmistress one day", retorts Miles. "Ouch", mutters Roy dryly...

OOO

Meanwhile, Riza is getting a phone call. "Excuse me, I'll be right back! In the meantime, you two can put the last pies in the oven!" Solf and Lan Fan nod. "Finally", whispers May's cousin with a conspiratorial smirk, after Riza has left the room. Kimblee answers with a quizzical look. Quizzical and also sceptical.

But instead of allowing him to say anything, Lan Fan just kisses him all of a sudden. At first, he does not move. But then, he starts kissing her back. Ardently. Lan Fan takes the opportunity to discreetly sprinkle pot on one of the pies. "Wow...", remarks Kimblee, after having removed his lips. "What, huh?", she asks with a cheeky smirk.

"Nothing. I'm just surprised, that's all", he answers nonchalantly. "So am I. But for some reason, I just couldn't resist." "I know what you mean. But I don't think this is such a good idea." Lan Fan raises an eyebrow. "Is it because of _Iggy_?" "Nope. It's because of Miss Hawkeye." "What the -?" "Sorry, love. But nobody's more familiar with the scent of chemistries than I am."

Lan Fan cannot believe her ears: "You saw it...!" "Like I said, I _smelled_ it", retorts Solf. May's cousin is speechless. While heading for the door, Kimblee rises to speak again: "Speaking of sense perceptions. Your lips taste _delicious_. Too bad, that I'll never have the pleasure to savour them again.""And just likes that, he exits the room. Lan Fan is still speechless...

OOO

One hour later, the following twenty-nine persons are taking a seat in flat 3b: Roy, Jean, Winry, Edward, Alphonse, Trisha, Lyra, Rose, Scodran, Solf, Fu, Lan Fan, May, Kain and Riza as well as those guests who do not live in the same residential building, such as Miles, Olivier, Catherine, Alex, Sloth, Greed, Lust, Envy, Pride, Wrath, Maes, Elicia, Rebecca and Heymans.

Those who have not cooked or baked anything, have brought beverages: Rebecca, Alex and Sloth white wine, Cat and Maes apple cider, Heymans and the Bradley family red wine. Everything looks promisingly _delicious_. Therefore, each guest is thankful: Thankful for the meals, for the company and more. However, tomorrow, everyone will be thankful for one thing in particular: Survival...

OOO

Later that evening, Ling Greed parks in front of a supermarket. "Lan Fan, get out of the car, already!", grunts Edward impatiently. Lan Fan shrugs. "Sorry, too lazy." "Then why have you come with us, in the first place?", asks Winry with a reproachful look. "Because I thought we'd go on a party or something. How would I know that you were serious about the supermarket-thing?"

Lan Fan crosses her arms, announcing: "Sorry, I'm out. I'll wait here." "Keep on dreaming. Ling Greed will never allow that. Not after what happened to your headmaster's car", interposes Solf. "Sounds juicy", remarks Greed amusedly. "Come on, Greed! The supermarket will close soon!", grunts Ed. "Fine then. Go and buy whatever you want. I'll stay here with _Seattle_." He took the bait...

OOO

Entering the supermarket, Winry rises to speak: "Maybe it'll be safer, if Ed and I leave now! You can meet us there!" "No, that's a bad idea, Winry! If any, you should stay here and we -!" "Stop talking nonsense, Ed! Kimblee is the only one who's allowed to buy alcohol, remember?" "Uh... Right...", murmurs Edward sheepishly...

OOO

"Come on, just tell me what happened to your headmaster's car. I won't judge." "Really, huh? Listen, Ling -" "The name is Ling _Greed_." "But I prefer Ling." "Okay, then. Go on." "Okay. Look, I'm not stupid, okay? I know what you're up to. You want me to tell you my story so you can pretend to be my soulmate." "Why would I do that?", asks Ling Greed with a raised brow.

"I guess, that's a trick to get some pies served." "Wow, what a _delicious_ pun." "You don't say." "Yeah. But Let me get this straight – I'm not the kind of guy who tricks girls. When I'm interested in some girl's vagina but not in her story, I don't ask for it. Got it?" "Got it. But what if I just don't wanna tell you my story? Ed says you're trustworthy, but I wouldn't be so sure about that yet."

Silence. But then: "You know? I'd love to offer a deal but unfortunately, we don't have much time." "What kind of deal?" "Well, it's actually very simple. I'll tell you my story first and then you can decide whether I'm trustworthy or not." "Sounds fair." "Yeah but like I said, we don't have much time." "But what if...?" "What?", asks Ling Greed in an uncharacteristically insecure manner...

OOO

First of all, Edward tapes all the cameras of house number 66. After that, he gives a signal. "Why haven't you allowed me to help you?", asks Winry. "Because that way, they would have seen two masked persons. However, they think that _D._ is one single person", explains Edward in a whisper. Winry nods silently, before the two of them enter the house...

OOO

"Ling Greed said that the cameras were merely mounted outside. But either way, we can't take off our gloves or remove our balaclavas. Because otherwise, we could lose some hairs", whispers Edward while they are finally entering the attic. "Okay, Ed. But why are we still whispering?", asks Winry in a whisper.

"Um... I don't know...", answers Edward sheepishly, before switching on the light. "Oh, Goodness! And I thought Jean's room was a mess!" "Winry, come on! We need to pay attention!" "Okay, but we don't even know what we're looking for, do we?" "Well... It has to be something suspicious!" "Great", mutters Winry.

When his mobile phone suddenly rings, she almost jumps out of her skin. "It's okay, Winry. It's just Kimblee. He's in the backyard, trying to find whatever Mr. Bradley has buried there." "Which is – by the way – something that doesn't make sense at all. I mean, why hiding evidence in the house or burying it in the back garden instead of burning it or drowning it in any random lake?"

Edward is clueless. However, not completely: "I don't know... But perhaps for irrational reasons..." "Of course! That's it!" "What do you mean...?" "Ed! I think I know what they might be hiding in here! Photographs and stuff like that!" "Gosh, Winry! That's genius! Come on! Let's find their awkward baby pictures!" Winry chuckles softly...

OOO

"You... Robbed a restaurant and then blew up the building...?", asks Lan Fan with a shocked look. "Yes, we did... But luckily nobody got harmed..." "Not even financially?" "No. The restaurant owner didn't have to pay for anything", answers Ling Greed. And this time, he is telling the truth. "But how did you get away with that?" "We had an alibi. My sister Lust." "Wow..." "What?"

"Nothing. It's just that none of my family members would ever do such a thing." "Robbing a restaurant?" "Yes but that's not what I was referring to. What I wanted to say is that none of them would ever _alibi_ me." "Not even your parents?" "I don't have parents any more. My only family members are grandpa, May and Han, my uncle from Seattle."

"How is it that you're not staying with him any more?" "Well... When I got kicked out of school, I sort of got kicked out of my house, too. And frankly, I can't blame him. I'm a terrible niece." "Or maybe, he's just a terrible uncle." Lan Fan chuckles softly. "You know, Ling? That's what I keep telling myself. But no, I'm the problem, not Han."

"Come on. You did _something_ to your headmaster's car. That's nothing in comparison to my actions." "Oh sorry, I had no idea that this was supposed to be a competition", retorts Lan Fan sarcastically. "It's not, okay? I was just trying to soothe you." "That's nice but completely unnecessary. I'm not the victim, you know?" "Then who is the victim...?"

"Well... That might sound a little crazy but the true victim, in my opinion, is my former self..." "Tell me more about that girl." "You know my cousin May, right?" "Yes." "There was a time when I _was_ May. Good grades, Kung Fu fighter, no weed, no tattoos, no hatred... She and my former self used to love each other like sisters..." "What... Happened to that other girl...?"

"Well... First, that girl lost her parents. Then, that girl started smoking weed. And only a few months later, she almost lost her virginity and her arm when a group of rapists cornered her one night... The abusers got arrested right away..." "And that other girl...?" "Disappeared... Just like that... And for good..." "Wow... That's very sad..." "Not really." "What? Of course!"

"I survived, after all. And neither did I lose my arm nor my virginity. As a consequence, however, they merely labeled it as ' _attempted_ violation'." "Arseholes." "Yeah." Silence. "Anyways. Your turn, Ling." "What do you want to know?" "Well. So far, I only know Greed's story. But what I'm mainly interested in is Ling's story." "That doesn't make any sense. Because there's no difference."

"Call me optimistic, but I'm sure there is." "Sorry to disappoint you, but no. I am Greed, the avaricious. That's just who I am, who I've always been." "So that's it? Your only excuse is your name?" "Kind of." "Pride, Envy, Lust, Greed and Wrath. And your eldest sister must be Gluttony, the anorexic", jokes Lan Fan dryly.

But to her surprise, Ling Greed does not laugh. "Sorry, did I say something wrong?", she asks insecurely and yet with composure. "No. And her name is Sloth by the way." "Call me an OCD-freak, but for some reason it just annoys me that the seventh sin is missing." "What the bloody hell? Why do you even care?" "Why don't you? You're the _name fetishist_ after all", retorts Lan Fan.

"Um... Yeah, but you know? I don't care about my siblings. I'm more like a bad apple." "And what's the original apple tree like?" "Wow. Looks like you haven't gotten in touch with my family yet." "Not really. I mean, I did have that one chit-chat with Principal Bradley. A very awkward one, by the way. But other than that, I just can rely on rumors about the four of you." "We're five, actually."

"Yeah, but nobody talks about your sister Sloth. However, they do talk about bad boy Greed, tramp Lust, bully Envy and prodigy Pride. But you know? That's by far not enough. I'm rather curious about the sordid details!" "Looks like I'm not the only greedy person here, huh?" "Probably not. So tell me, Ling – what's the story to your tattoo? I saw the same one on Lust's chest."

"Wow. I don't know why but the fact that you were staring at my sister's chest just really turns me on." "That's because you're a pervert." Ling Greed chuckles amusedly. "Believe it or not – Lust and I aren't the only ones with that tattoo. Sloth and Envy are tattooed, as well." "No freaking way." "Looks like you haven't stared at my other sister's chest, huh?"

OOO

"Bull's eye!", announces Edward, after he has found a wooden box with an uroboros carved into it. Winry, who has just phoned Lan Fan another time to make it look like she and the two boys are already waiting for them, looks up immediately. "An uroboros?", she asks with a confused mien. "Precisely! That symbol must mean _something_ to them! Just think about their tattoos!"

"Good, whatever. Just take it so we can get the hell out of here! We've already been missing for an hour!" "And how exactly are we supposed to transport that damn box?" "Actually... _Two_ boxes...", murmurs Winry and shows him the picture, Solf sent her. "So that's what Bradley has buried...! Another uroboros-box...!" "Yes! Now come on, Ed! May is already getting worried!" "Okay, okay!"

OOO

Almost thirty minutes later, Lan Fan gets another message. And for some reason, Ling Greed becomes suspicious all of a sudden which is why he abruptly grabs her mobile phone and starts checking her texts. "Ling? Are you an asshole or something?", she asks relaxedly. _"Nice try, Ling. But as you can see, we thought of everything. Or let's better say – as you can NOT see."_

"I'm sorry. I was just..." "Yes?" "Nothing. So... What's next?" "I don't know. _You_ read my texts, not I. So what do the others say?" "They're narked and just took a cab." "Oops", murmurs Lan Fan with a thoroughly indifferent look. Ling Greed chuckles amusedly. "Whatever. Maybe we should head back, too. Don't you think?"

"Oh, come on! Is this about me reading your messages?", pouts Ling Greed teasingly. "No. This is about me preferring sex in the bathroom", answers Lan Fan with a naughty smirk. "Deeply interesting. But whose bathroom are we talking about, huh?" "Well... Apartment 3b should be unoccupied by now." "Naughty girl", whispers Ling Greed, also with a naughty smirk on his face...

OOO

"Who's going to send that faked _D._ -text? And when?", asks Winry, while Solf and Edward are hiding the two boxes under her bed. "I can do that", offers the blond. Kimblee shakes his head: "No, you can't. Neither of you. You could accidentally use the American or – worst-case scenario – the Australian way of spelling." "Asshole!", grunts Ed. "Drongo!", hisses Winry simultaneously.

Kimblee answers with an amused smirk: "See? We all may be immigrants, but I'm the only Brit here. Anyway. Let's go downstairs and join the Thanksgiving dinner. Because I can't wait to taste Win's _delicious_ apple pie." " _You!_ ", hisses Edward with clenched fists, while the only girl in the room is blushing immediately...

OOO

Later that evening, the guests in 1b are enjoying the desserts. While doing so, Alphonse, May, Pride and Elicia are discussing the significance of astrology. The other young guests, on the other hand, prefer to talk about their two missing age-mates Ling Greed and Lan Fan. "Wait a sec! They drove away? Just like that?", asks Cat with a judgemental look that does not quite match her amused grin.

"Heartbreaking, isn't it?", asks Kimblee teasingly. "I have no idea what you're talking about", answers Catherine sincerely. Lust, who notices Envy's withering look at that moment, quickly changes the subject: "I think, Lan Fan is gay." "Oh, please shut up because otherwise I'm going to throw up", hisses Envy with a disdainful look.

" _What a fucking liar!"_ , grunts Edward inwardly. "What an ignorant drongo you can be at times!", remarks Winry and rolls her eyes. "I'd surely be hurt right now, if I just knew what the bloody hell that bizarre Australian term even means", snorts Envy mockingly. "It's just a synonym for _Ivan Envy Bradley_ ", retorts Winry with composure.

"Come on, guys! Stop it! It's Thanksgiving!", intervenes Catherine all of a sudden. Winry opens her mouth to blame her best friend. But Envy has a surprise in store: "You're right, Cat. We should stop this nonsense." Winry, Kimblee, Solaris, Kain, Catherine and especially Edward are thoroughly nonplussed at that moment...

OOO

Meanwhile, Sloth, Lyra and Trisha are chattering about the wedding. However, the housekeeper is barely talking. "A wedding in March? What a wonderful idea", remarks King's secret girlfriend. "Well, I just fell in love with that one bridal gown that definitely has to be worn in March." "Okay, now you just have to show me a picture, dear!", chuckles Lyra, whereas Trisha remains silent...

OOO

"Honest answer, Mr Lowe – do you miss your old job?", asks Headmaster Bradley with a fatherly smirk. "Of course", answers Miles dryly. The others Roy, Jean, Olivier, Maes, Rebecca, Alex, Miles, Riza, Heymans and Wrath himself laugh amusedly. "And I assume that you already know about the ongoing feud between Mr Mustang and Ms Armstrong?", asks the headmaster next.

"Yes, Sir. This feud is the only reason why Ms Armstrong has spent the entire afternoon in the kitchen today", retorts Miles sarcastically. King answers with amused laughter. "Well, if so, I'm more than thankful for the situation. Because otherwise I wouldn't have been given the opportunity to taste this _delicious_ pecan pie!"

"I'm very flattered, Sir", answers Olivier in a military manner. "Wow. They do call you _General_ for a reason", remarks Heymans nonchalantly. "Oh yes! So true!", snickers Hughes. "I personally prefer _Ice Queen_!", giggles Rebecca. "Oh, so do I, Ms Catalina!", interposes her superior with an amused smirk his face.

Only now does Roy decide to intervene. For strategic reasons. "It's an honor to compete against the _Ice Queen_. In case she should lose, I'll consider myself an even stronger personality, but in case she should win, I'll have a dignified superior. Therefore I'll win in any case." "Wow, would you look at that! The gentleman himself has spoken!", chuckles Havoc.

His flatmate is not happy at all at that very moment. And the only person who notices that is Riza. However, it is Alex, who remedies the situation with one of his characteristic sentimental outbursts: "What a wonderful friendship! They may be competitors but yet they decide to support each other! I'm so thankful!" Awkward silence...

OOO

Meanwhile, Rose is planning on eating more sweet potatoes. However, the bowls all empty. "Looks like you did a good job", remarks Scar dryly. "Scodran!", she squeals. "Oh. Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you." "No, you didn't! And as for the sweet potatoes... I think, we both did a good job...! Didn't we...?" Scodran nods silently. After that, they start talking about something else.

While doing so, they do not notice that Olivier is discreetly watching them. However, somehow, Miles does notice it. "Nice couple, huh?", he remarks. "Huh?", asks his ex-girlfriend, although she already knows the answer. "Scar and Rose", answers Miles. "Um. Yeah. Totally", answers Olivier as indifferently as possible. Her ex-boyfriend just nods silently...

OOO

Meanwhile, Trisha is carrying some dirty plates into the kitchen. "Excuse me, Miss Elric." "Mr. Chang? How can I help you?" "I just wanted to thank you for the invitation." "That sort of sounds like a goodbye..." "Please, excuse me, but it's already late and I have an appointment tomorrow." "Of course, Mr. Chang! Thank you for coming!" Fu answers with a grandfatherly smile and leaves.

"What a kind old man, huh?", remarks Ling Greed, who just came out of nowhere. "Yes, definitely. But Ling Greed, where have you been the entire time?", asks Trisha with a confused look. "Well. I was spending some entertaining time with a nice girl. But unfortunately, she changed her mind. It was quite a last-minute decision."

"Oh... I'm sorry, Ling!", murmurs Trisha after having given him a look of commiseration. Ling Greed does not answer at first. But then, he puts a devious on, before answering: "My name is Ling Greed. Not Ling. See you later, Trish." Without awaiting an answer, he just exits the room. Trisha sighs. _"Poor young man..."_

OOO

"You... Didn't...?", asks Winry with a surprised look after Lan Fan broke the news to her. "No", she answers in a nutshell. "Why not?" Lan Fan raises a brow, which is why Winry, whose cheeks have turned crimson, quickly rises to speak again: "Don't get me wrong! I wouldn't do it, either! But all the other girls would. And in a way, I understand that. I mean, he's handsome and charming and -"

"An asshole", adds Lan Fan dryly. "Well... Yes...", murmurs Winry and sighs. "But maybe you should just give him a chance, Lan Fan..." "Why, huh?" "What...?" "You heard me. Why are you trying to sweet-talk me into hooking up with him?", asks Lan Fan straightforward. "Is it because you're scared or something?"

"Scared of _what_?", asks Winry with a clueless mien, although she already knows the answer. Lan Fan snorts. "Sorry, _Iggy_. But you made your decision. And you can't just possess all of them." "Lan Fan, I -!", stammers Winry. But Lan Fan just goes away instead of listening to her so far only female friend. Winry is speechless...

OOO

Without knocking on his door, she abruptly enters her dream boy's room. "Damnit, Winry! Why haven't you knocked on the door?", grunts Edward, who was just talking with Kimblee about the faked _D._ -message they are going to send. Winry does not know what to say. "I will give you some privacy, if you like", offers Solf with a raised eyebrow.

"No!", answers Edward. "Yes!", answers Winry simultaneously. "Before you go, you have to send that message and -!" Edward abruptly falls silent, when Winry just starts kissing him without warning. Kimblee rolls his eyes. "Good Lord", he mutters dryly and exits the room, while the other two are already undressing each other...

OOO

After having exited flat 1b, Solf comes across Lan Fan, who is sitting on the stairs and eating Winry's apple pie. "Gosh, that's _delicious_! Bitch." "Who? The baker?", he asks with an amused smirk. "Hell, yeah. That perfect..." "Bitch?" "Yeah. Thanks." "Are we jealous or something?", asks Kimblee with a rather teasing smirk this time. "Yes, we are", answers Lan Fan nonchalantly.

"Edward?" "Nope. Never had a thing for blonds. Besides, the killjoy is a friend. Nothing more than that." "That's new." "Huh?" "Well", begins Solf, before taking a seat next to her. "These two are very much alike when it comes to being admired and hated. The same goes for Solaris Lust and Ling Greed are, by the way."

"Man. That sucks", remarks May's cousin with a grumpy look. Solf shrugs. "Yes. It does. But jealousy is definitely not the answer." "Then what is the answer, huh?", asks Lan Fan unsentimentally. "Distraction", answers Kimblee in a whisper and with a naughty smirk. Lan Fan answers with a quite similar smirk...

OOO

"I'm... Sorry...", mumbles Winry with an embarrassed look. At the moment, she and Edward are staring at the ceiling, both of their naked bodies are covered by his blankets. The radio is playing Lana Del Rey's _Delicious_. Edward nods silently. "Tell me. What are you trying to prove anyway? And to whom, huh?" Silence.

"I don't know..." "Yes, you do. And so do I." "Ed -!" "You aren't ready for this, are you?" "Yes, I am!" "No, you're not!" Winry does not know what to say. Edward unexpectedly strikes a more tender note: "It's okay, Winry. I'm not mad at you." "You're not...?" "No. Because, you know? Nobody's forcing us to be a couple." "But Ed! I want to be with you!"

Edward answers with an astonished look. "Winry..." "Please don't mock me, Ed! But the truth is... I've been having a crush on you since the day we first met...! Do you know how frustrating that is? I mean, why is it so complicated? Look at May and Alphonse, for instance!" Edward nods. "I know, what you're talking about. But unfortunately, I'm nothing like him..."

Ed sighs. "Al... Is like our mother... Caring... Sensible... Friendly... Strong... But I... I'm just like my father... Egoistic... Impulsive... Unfriendly... Weak..." "Stop! That's not true, okay?" "Yes, it is." "No, Edward! It's not! I mean, you definitely are unfriendly and impulsive, but neither are you egoistic nor weak! You're brave! And genuine!"

Winry pauses. "And these are the reasons why I fell in love with you in the first place... Well... And your handsomeness, to be completely honest..." Edward answers with naughty laughter. This makes her smile. "Hey, Winry...!" "Yes, Ed...?" "Thank you..." "It's okay, you don't have to thank me." "Yes, I do. And I will."

"Okay, if you insist... But what do you have in mind?" "An equivalent exchange! You opened my eyes! In return, I'll go on a date with you! But beforehand, we'll kick that _D._ -bastard's ass!", announces Edward with a determined look and blushed cheeks. Winry sighs. However, she just cannot help but smile happily at that moment...

OOO

Meanwhile, Kimblee is pushing Lan Fan harshly against the tiled wall in the bathroom and kissing her savagely. "Come on, Lan Fan. Just tell me, who that boy is, you're falling for", whispers Kimblee into her ear. "I don't know what you're talking about", she moans. "Yes, you do, love", he answers and takes down her tights. "And since when do you wear dresses, anyway?"

"What makes you think I haven't worn them before? Were you staring at my legs all the time?", she asks with a teasing smirk, before roughly taking off his sweater. "Can you blame me?", he retorts and takes down her black, lacy panties next. "No", she chuckles, while undoing his belt. However, he abruptly grasps her wrists. "First things first", he whispers with a conspiratorial smirk.

Lan Fan opens her mouth to say something, when she suddenly feels a cold hand between her legs. And just like that, her questions become superfluous. "Oh yes. I may be a maniac but I'm still a gentleman, love", whispers Kimblee into her ear while starting to touch her warmth. Lan Fan does not answer since she is being too busy compressing her lips so that he will not hear her moan.

"Nice try. But sooner or later none of them can hold back their moans any more. Trust me", whispers Kimblee, cups her chin and continues French-kissing her. This time, her only answer is a sensual moan into his mouth. Additionally, she starts moving her bottom in circles, when he unhesitatingly touches it.

"Good girl. Now. Tell me who he is", he commands in a whisper and smirks teasingly. "No!", moans Lan Fan with closed eyes. "Come on", whispers Kimblee and bites her underlip. "Oh, I will come", retorts Lan Fan with a horny smirk. "Wow. You certainly have a ready tongue", remarks Kimblee with a naughty smirk.

After that, he speeds up the process. "Don't stop!", moans Lan Fan while rolling her eyes with relish. Kimblee obeys and starts moving his already wetted hands a little faster. Lan Fan moans without restraint. However, Kimblee covers her mouth with his free hand to make sure that the twenty-six people in the living room cannot hear her.

" _This sound just soothes me like a lullaby. And yet, I'm wide awake. Especially my -"_ "Little _Crimson Lotus_ wants to _invade_ my damp area and explode in there! I can literally feel it!", pants Lan Fan and stares at his crotch with an almost maniac look in her eyes. "What a _deliciously_ lunatic pun, love", remarks Kimblee with a naughty smirk.

"But you know? I can contain myself. Because lady's first", he adds. "I'm not a lady!", retorts Lan Fan and bites his neck without warning. "That's for sure", whispers Kimblee with an aroused smirk before starting to _dig deeper_. Lan Fan utters her final and loudest moan which announces the end of their _delicious_ game...

OOO

Exiting the bathroom a few minutes later, Solf comes across Ling Greed, who is relaxedly leaning against the opposite wall with crossed arms. "You're leaving her just like that, instead of offering her a drink? Wow. Looks like you and I are friends for a reason, _mate_." "She asked me to leave", answers Kimblee with composure. "Poor boy. She gave you the boot then, huh?"

"Possibly", answers Solf unemotionally. "Possibly not", he adds with a triumphant smirk. Ling Greed raises an eyebrow. But then, he addresses himself to his vibrating phone. He as well as his four siblings Sloth, Lust, Envy and Pride have just gotten a message. Kimblee rolls his eyes when he realises what is happening: " _Oh my. That blond hothead is just way too impatient."_

OOO

"Miss Hawkeye! We need to talk to Miss Hawkeye!", mumbles Selim Pride hysterically, while he and his siblings Juliet Sloth, Solaris Lust and Ivan Envy are meeting on the stairs a few minutes later. "Are you daft or something? _D._ has our boxes! We can't just rat that person out without getting our own arses spanked!", hisses Lust in a whisper.

Pride answers his mouth to insult her, when he, his siblings and all the guests inside suddenly hear a deafening scream. The person who screamed is Rose Thomas. However, the person who is responsible for her scream, is Lan Fan, who is lying on the bathroom floor, her eyes and mouth wide open. At that very instant, she looks like a dead girl...


	19. Lolita

**IMPORTANT INFORMATION AHEAD:**

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own anything, not the brand names, not the song titles and especially not Fullmetal Alchemist.

 **Content:** There will be some flashbacks in this chapter. Other than that, be prepared for potentially disturbing moments as well as the revelation of _P.G.'s_ identity.

 **Character:** _Special Guest Stars_ Doctor Knox and Storch ;D

 **Allusion:** Remember how Brotherhood-Doctor Knox intervenes when Brotherhood-Fu slaps Brotherhood-Lan Fan? Good (:

 **Location:** The pub that will be appearing in this chapter, is the one from the series. 2003-Maes and 2003-Roy are having drinks there. Remember the café, BH-Edward and BH-Alphonse are sitting in, right after Edward has used his alchemy for hours, just to catch Scar's attention? That location will be appearing in this chapter. Also, the hospital is from Brotherhood (FMAB-EP. 9 + 10).

 **\- Chapter 19: Lolita -**

 _Amestris, November 2011_

Solaris Lust Bradley may be a thirteen-year-old. However, almost everybody thinks that she is sixteen. Wearing her black cloak, boots, tights, gloves and hat, she looks more like a lady than ever. And her sister Juliet Sloth Bradley really appreciates that. In her opinion, her younger sister just does not act her age.

Most of the time, she is wearing shiny lip gloss, too high shoes and way too short skirts, while popping chewing gums and flirting with older boys. In order to tame her younger sister, Sloth forces her to go to church with her. And to wear suitable clothes. _"Nice try, Slothy. But we both know that I'd even look sexy in a burka"_ , she chuckles inwardly while taking a seat and crossing herself.

Many people were raising their heads, when she entered the _Leto Church_ a few minutes ago. But there is this one twenty-two-year-old British man, who was staring longer at her than everyone else. His attention has been attracted when Lust _accidentally_ dropped one of her gloves onto his lap. She has seen him before in the church. But this Sunday, he has come alone for the first time.

Therefore, all she has to do is find an excuse. An excuse to get rid of her sister, the moment they exit the church. _"I'll just tell her that I'm going to meet a friend afterwards. For a school project. And then she will suddenly get text from Envy. 'Come home ASAP! Pride needs you!', will definitely do the job. Thanks, my beloved brother. I'm sure I'll find a way to repay you, one day."_

OOO

"Seven o'clock! Not one minute later! Do you understand?" "Yes, sister", answers Lust with an insincere smile. It is only when her sister drives away, that she unexpectedly feels a hand on her shoulder: "Excuse me, Miss?" "Yes, Sir?", asks Lust, who is pretending to be clueless. Inwardly, however, she cannot help but chuckle: _"He took the bait. Farewell, virginity!"_

OOO-OOO

 _Amestris, November 2016_

Right after Edward, Kimblee and Winry have been told that Lan Fan's life has never truly been in danger, they come together in the blonde girl's room and open the two boxes. "We must unmask that bitch before someone else gets hurt because of me!", hisses Edward furiously. However, his two partners are aware that he is feeling guilty in the first place.

"Ed...! None of this is your fault...! Besides, we don't even know the details yet! Perhaps it was just an accident!" "No, Winry! This wasn't an accident, that was a warning! Last time, it was my house and this time our friend!" "I'm afraid, Edward is right. This definitely wasn't an accident. But..." "But _what_ , Kimblee?", asks Winry nervously.

"Well. To be honest... I think this warning wasn't addressed to you. But rather to me...", speculates Kimblee. "Why? What have you done this time?", asks Ed through gritted teeth. "It's not that big a deal, okay? I just touched her pussy and stuff." " _You!_ ", hisses the blond and punches him in the stomach. Solf compresses his lips to suppress a scream. Instead, he just lets out a dry: "Ouch."

"I'm sorry to interfere in your little _cockfight_ , but what to be honest, I still don't understand the connection between those two... Happenings", intervenes Winry. "Well. Apparently, Ling Greed likes Lan Fan, too. And messing with Ling Greed means messing with _D._ ", explains Ed. "But why? Why is _D._ so determined to protect her own victims?", asks Winry helplessly.

"I don't know... But I'm sure the answer can be found in these boxes! And after having learned their secret, we can invite them and have a nice chit-chat!", hisses the blond. " _Them_?", asks Kimblee with a raised brow. "Oh yes! I wanna see their faces when I break the news to them!", grunts Edward with clenched fists.

"And I can understand that. But I don't think it'd be such a good idea to talk to all of them. And it'd be an even worse idea to do it _here_." "Why is that?", pouts Winry. "Believe it or not – Edward is not the only one who wants to protect you", reveals Solf nonchalantly. "But -!" "No, Winry. Kimblee is right", intervenes Edward. His two partners answer with astonished looks...

OOO

A few minutes later, all three of them are confused by all the baby pictures and utensils they have found. However, Edward is annoyed in the first place: "Great! We found _nothing_!" Angrily, he chucks a plushy on the ground that starts singing automatically. "Don't be ridiculous. If these were _nothings_ , they wouldn't have buried it", argues Kimblee.

" _P.G._?", asks Winry after she has found the cuddly blanket. Edward abruptly snatches the blanket from under her nose. "Holy shit! These are initials!", he realises. "Whose initials, Ed...?", asks Winry with a slightly terrified mien. In a split second, Ed remembers his conversation with Envy in the library.

With a shocked look, he finally answers: "Porter...! Porter -!" "Gluttony...", interrupts Solf, who also just happened to crack the riddle. "Wait a sec! The Bradleys have a sixth child?", asks Winry with a confused look. "No. But apparently, they _did_ have a sixth child", answers Kimblee unsentimentally.

"But... Why would they keep this a secret...?", asks Winry, even though she already knows the answer. Edward gulps. His look thoroughly distraught, he answers: "There is only one explanation, I can think of...! One of them must have killed that child...!" "Oh my God...!", whispers the blonde girl with a horrified mien...

OOO-OOO

 _Amestris, November 2011_

"Solaris. What a beautiful name." At the moment, Lust and the man from the church are sitting in a pub. "Thank you. Say, Storch. What's your profession?" "I'm a police officer. And what about you? Are you a pupil?" "No, I'm an air hostess." "Interesting. How come?" "When I was thirteen, I sat in a plane for the first time and I loved it. That's why I decided to see the entire world one day."

"Wow. Sounds adventurous... But tell me, Solaris... How old are you again?" "How old do I look?", asks Lust with a flirty smirk. "To be honest... You look very young. Like sixteen", he answers with a serious mien. "Wow! How flattering, Mister!", chuckles Lust. "But I'm afraid, you misestimated. I'm nineteen." Storch sighs with relief.

"What is it?", asks Lust and winks naughtily. "It's just good to know that I'm not violating the law", he answers sarcastically. Or perhaps not that sarcastically. "Violating the law, huh? We're just talking, aren't we...?", asks Lust with a tempting smirk. "Well. I guess that depends on you, Solaris...", he answers in a whisper.

"Storch? Is that you?", she suddenly hears someone, whose voice sounds very familiar to her, ask several steps behind her. Lust, who is still wearing her hat, gets up from the barstool in a split second and runs away as fast as she can. At that moment, she is hoping that Rebecca Catalina has not recognised her...

OOO-OOO

 _Amestris, November 2016_

"What have you done...?", asks Fu Chang with shaking hands. At the moment, he is sitting on a chair next to his granddaughter's hospital bed, at the Central Hospital in Central. Lan Fan does not answer. Neither does she dare to look at him. Because secretly, she is just too ashamed. Ashamed of herself, in particular.

All of a sudden, her grandfather gives her a slap across the face. And this is definitely not the first time. "You reckless girl!" - slap - "I was worried sick!" - slap - "Do you know -" - slap - "What would have happened -" - slap - "If I had lost you?" - slap - "I'm going to tell you -" - slap - "What would have happened!" - slap - "I would have died!" - slap -

"Wow! Easy, old man!", intervenes the forty-year-old British Doctor, who just came out of nowhere, and grasps his arm. "Mr Chang! She's too weak!" Fu's only answer is a quiet sob. The day, that she almost lost her arm, he slapped her too, thinking that the reason why she had gotten into that fight had been a drug trip. But having learnt the truth afterwards, he almost started crying...

OOO

Fu, who has managed to hold back his tears, regains his composure within minutes: "Tell us what happened, Doctor." "Well. Someone messed with her food. Apparently, our girl has an enemy out there. Unless, she ate someone else's pie, of course." "No, I didn't, _Doctor Sarcastic_ ", mutters Lan Fan dryly. "And is it safe to assume that you didn't take any drugs?", asks Knox with a raised brow.

"Yes", answers Lan Fan in a nutshell. "If so, my theory makes definitely sense. Someone did that to you. As in _on purpose_. And either you're lucky or your enemy didn't mean to harm you that seriously. However, that would imply that he or she's excelling in chemistry", reveals Dr. Knox nonchalantly. Lan Fan and her grandfather are puzzled...

OOO-OOO

 _Amestris, September 2012_

Many months have passed but despite some French-kissing and oral sex with age-mates, Solaris Lust Bradley is still a virgin. "Leastwise, you'll be deflowered earlier than our sister", chuckles Envy mischievously. Lust answers with a quite similar sort of laugh. At the moment, they are sitting on the stairs and watching the guests, Juliet has invited to her birthday party.

"I hate that bitch!", hisses Lust when she sees Rebecca entering the full house, a few seconds later. "You mean, because of her addiction to boys?", chuckles Envy. His sister does not answer. Because after having seen Rebecca's plus one, she almost drops her piece of cake. Envy, who is noticing the lascivious look, she is giving the older guy, is scandalised.

"You can't be serious, sis", he mutters with a distraught mien. Lust just shrugs nonchalantly. "Are you daft or something? That guy must be like ten years older than you!" "Who cares? He almost slept with me once. Remember the church-guy? That's him." "Gross! Okay. You know what? I'm off, _Lolita_ ", snorts Envy and stomps upstairs...

OOO

Entering the kitchen later on, Storch almost drops his glass: "Solaris...? You...?" "Storch...!", she squeals and pretends to stumble so that she can _accidentally_ cover his trousers in wine. "Oh my God! I'm so sorry, Storch!" Storch does not know what to say. But for some inexplicable reason, he just cannot hold back a smirk at that moment...

OOO

"How old are you really?", asks Storch, while he is lying on her bed. Their naked, sweaty bodies are covered by her black blankets. Silence. "I knew it. You're a minor, aren't you?" Silence. But then: "Who cares? I won't tell anyone! I promise!" " _You promise_ , huh? Say, you little, slutty _Lolita_! How many men had fucked you already?", he hisses, after he has grasped her neck without warning.

At first, the thirteen-year-old is quite intimidated. But then she suddenly starts laughing mockingly. "Are you actually threatening me, you paedophile? Because if so, let me warn you. This is my house. You can't just _eliminate_ me. So either get the hell out of my room or..." "Or _what_...?", he asks with a serious mien. Lust smirks naughtily, before starting to touch his slowly hardening manhood...

OOO-OOO

 _Amestris, November 2016_

"Perhaps you should leave the talking to me." "Shut your arrogant trap, Kimblee! I was staying at their place for days, remember?", hisses Edward with clenched fists. At the moment, they are standing in Scodran's living room and waiting. "But they are my friends in the first place. Not yours." "You mean those kind of friends whose houses one would break in?"

"Technically, _I_ didn't break in. You did." "YOU CAN'T BREAK IN, WHEN YOU HAVE THE KEYS, FUCKHEAD!" "If you say so", answers Solf, who is obviously unimpressed by the blond's outburst. Edward opens his mouth to insult him, when the doorbell suddenly rings. "Show time", whispers Kimblee with a conspiratorial look...

OOO

"I knew you two were up to something!", hisses Envy with crossed arms and a withering look. "Unbelievable, Kimblee. You actually betrayed your only friends." "Well. Looks like you and your family have betrayed me first, Envy." "Every family has secrets. You would know that if you had one. But unfortunately, your own mother abandoned you." That hit home.

But ironically, it is Edward who clenches his fingers. Kimblee, on the other hand, keeps his composure. And in order to ask his partner to keep calm as well, he silently raises his hand. "Impressing, Kimblee. Looks like you've finally found a true friend. Too bad, that he's lacking in loyalty. But I guess, that's something you two have in common, huh?"

"What are you talking about?", asks Edward through gritted teeth. "I'm talking about your disloyalty to my greedy brother, prat." "Since when do you care?", asks Kimblee with a raised brow. "Since you two don't. He may be a bad apple. But leastwise he belongs to the same tree", hisses Envy with a disdainful look.

Kimblee is also quite familiar with metaphors: "Speaking of that tree. According to our research, one apple by the name of Gluttony got _eaten_. Which is sort of ironic." "And now you're suspecting me, the boy who killed his own brother out of jealousy, right? But guess what, prats! It wasn't my idea to name me Envy!"

" _Guess what_ , genius! Kimblee and I didn't pick you because we're suspecting you! We picked you because we need your help!", hisses Edward with bared teeth. Envy chuckles mockingly: "That's hilarious, boys." Instead of bursting out as usual, Ed just keeps calm, while retorting: "Not really, actually. Especially not, if we just ask the police to do some research instead."

"You wouldn't dare!", hisses his enemy. "Of course, I would! _D._ burned down my freaking house and hurt Lan Fan! Yet, I kept my damn mouth shut to protect you guys! And believe it or not – in the beginning, I didn't mind protecting your family! But now that I know what you people are capable of, I'm just thinking that maybe you'd deserve to be punished! You! Not I, or anybody else!"

Deafening silence. But then: "So? Are you going to rat us out now? Because truth be told, that's what I'd do in order to save my own arse." "That depends on you, Envy", retorts Kimblee with composure. "Listen, Envy! Kimblee, you and I can still solve the puzzle! But you have to give us more pieces!" Envy's only answer is a withering look at first.

But then, out of the blue: "It happened seven years ago. Gluttony was a five-year-old who wasn't biologically related to any of us. Yet, we sort of..." "Loved him?", asks Edward cautiously. "No idea. But he and Lust definitely _did_ love each other. Endlessly. Although they've merely known each other for a couple of months. One day, at the end of February, mother brought him home."

Envy pauses. "She said, he was her birthday present. However, not all of us would have put it that way. Not only did Gluttony suffer from a mental disability, but also from a quite ironic psychological disorder. He literally ate _anything_. That's why our father asked us to keep him a secret from everyone else, which – by the way – came in handy, in the end."

Despite his indifferent tone, Envy's hands are slightly shaking. And if Edward did not notice that, he probably would slap his enemy in reaction to his faked insensitivity. "Gluttony needed surveillance around the clock, which is why we had to babysit him and Pride, whenever our parents went to work. Sadly, we weren't that good at our job."

Envy pauses again. "As a result of this, the kids at school began to bully Pride. They made fun of his worn out clothes and his _body odeur_. Also, they started laughing whenever he entered the classroom. And _nobody_ is allowed to laugh at Selim Pride Bradley. Earlier in the past, _everyone_ had been keen to get an invitation to his parties. But that year, _nobody_ wanted to come..."

Another pause. "And even we ourselves happened to forget about his birthday completely. The real highlight of that day was that Gluttony made his first steps. However, Pride, who himself had made his first steps earlier than many children, just looked down at that, like he used to look down at anything that had to do with Gluttony..."

Pause. "Mother did her utmost to make it up to him. She bought him tons of presents and so on. But when Gluttony ate those too, Pride lost it completely. One day later, he was found dead in the basement. A knife in his back. And parts of his body... Bitten off. That day, Pride stopped eating meat and started developing symptoms of OCD..." Edward and Solf are speechless.

However, Kimblee's moments of speechlessness almost never last for long: "Pride ate his own brother? Holy smoke." Edward gulps, before asking: "But... How is it that the adoption agency -?" "There was no adoption agency. Just Father Hohenheim, who entrusted an orphan to our care. And that was also a reason why we had to keep Gluttony a secret." Kimblee raises an eyebrow.

"That doesn't make any sense. Sooner or later somebody would have found out." "Which is why we were planning on leaving this town. But unfortunately, our mother's death got in the way." "What happened to your mother, Envy...?", asks Edward in a gently manner, that is completely out of character. "Well. When we came home that day, she was already gone", begins Envy.

"Father said something about a trip to another country. And when she died, he said something about a plane crash. But we found out that there never had been a plane crash. Only then did he tell us the truth. And according to him, she gone insane after she'd found the body. So they institutionalised her. One day, a mentally disturbed patient killed her and one of the nurses. Mrs Hughes."

Edward cannot believe his ears: "Envy...! I'm so so-!" "Quit your pathetic blubbering, you idiot! You, of all people, have no right to feel sorry for me! The same goes for you, Kimblee! Others may not see it but I know full well that you're pitying me too! Both of you are! Despite your own tragic childhoods and shady family stories! Now, for the love of God, just stop it!"

"Shady family story? Are you nuts or something?", asks Edward furiously. But also insecurely, in a way. Kimblee, on the other hand, just keeps his composure. As always. "May I remind you that your mother told you the same plane crash-story and that your father is our priest's twin?" "Okay, first off, my father _is_ nothing but dead! We had a funeral! And I saw his body!", begins Edward.

"Second off, he _did_ have to travel a lot because of his job!" "Oh really, huh? Has it ever occurred to you that the reason why your father used to travel a lot and the reason why he's always been eager to move to Amestris might have been his bloody brother?" "That's nonsense, Envy! _You_ are nonsense!" "And you are short!"

Edward gets up to seize his enemy by the collar, when the doorbell suddenly rings. "Solf Julius Kimblee?" "Yes, Sir", answers Kimblee with composure. "You're arrested for attempted murder!", announces the same police officer. His name is Storch and he is Riza's and Heyman's superior. "Sir?", asks Solf with a confused look.

But Officer Storch just handcuffs him, before continuing: "You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law." "But he didn't do anything!", intervenes Edward. "That's not for you to decide!", answers Storch with an icy mien, before shutting the door from outside. And just like that, Kimblee is gone...

OOO-OOO

 _Amestris, November 2015_

"Are you sure that it's Mr Havoc's turn to babysit the students in the playground, today?", asks Roa in a whisper. "Trust me. I double-checked the plan", answers his seventeen-year-old friend, also in a whisper. "Okay. But you know the price, Lust." "Of course! Now go! It's show time!", she hisses. Her smirk thoroughly naughty...

OOO

Almost ten minutes later, Lust and Jean are sitting in a café in Central. "It happened a few years ago but ever since, he's been harassing me from time to time." "Listen, you don't have to worry, Solaris! Police commander Berthold Hawkeye is my neighbour! We can -!" "No! Please!" "What...? But don't you think that this would be the right thing to do?"

"No, I don't! You see? Actually, he's a good guy! But I broke his heart back then! Therefore, I definitely deserve it! This is all my fault, after all!" "Solaris -!" "Please, Mr Havoc! Don't do that!" Jean does not answer right away. But then: "Okay. I won't. But in case he should harass you again -" "You'll be there to protect me?", asks Lust with a naughty smirk. Jean answers with a puzzled look.

"I'm sorry, Sir... That was inappropriate...", she pouts. _Insincerely_. That way, she is trying to trigger his protective instinct. Successfully: Havoc starts chuckling, a cigarette dangling between his teeth. "It's okay, we did nothing wrong, Solaris!" "You're right... But what Roa just said about you and your students... I mean, how is it that he's accusing you, of all people?"

"Why are you asking? Are you accusing your teacher, too?", asks Jean reproachfully. "No! Not at all!" "Then why are you asking me this, Solaris?" "Honest answer...?" "Honest answer", retorts Jean coldly. "Well... I just don't get it! I mean, why aren't teachers and students allowed to be in a relationship? Love is love, right?" "It's not that simple, I'm afraid." "Then explain it to me! Please!"

The faked frustration in her voice hoaxes him into believing that Solaris Lust Bradley is just a curious young girl without any ulterior motives. Consequently, he does not end this dangerous conversation. _"We're just talking! Teacher to student!"_ , he keeps telling himself, while trying hard to avert his eyes from her décolleté. Jean Havoc has always had a thing for big boobs...

OOO-OOO

 _Amestris, November 2016_

"I'm off", announces Envy nonchalantly and is just about to exit 2b, when Edward suddenly rises to speak: "The hell you are!" "Sorry, but have you been sleeping during the last few minutes? They arrested the owner of this flat." "So what? We can pay the caution!" "No, _we_ can't. Because I'm broke and I have to go now. Have a nice day, _pipsqueak_." And just like that, Edward is alone.

That is, until the doorbell suddenly rings, a few minutes later. Edward aggressively opens the door, hissing: "Envy, you bastard, I'll -!" It is only when he realises that the visitor is not his enemy, that he abruptly falls silent. "Hallo to you, too. _Mate_ ", retorts Ling Greed, the unexpected visitor, sarcastically. As always, he could not sound more relaxed...

OOO

"Does Scodran already know what happened?", asks Kimblee's friend, while he and Edward are sitting in his driving car. At that moment, they are heading northwards. Because according to Ling Greed, there is only one person who might be able to help them. Meanwhile, the radio is playing Lana Del Rey's _Lolita_.

"He's visiting Miles. But since he isn't Kimblee's custodian or whatsoever, he probably hasn't been informed", answers Edward sharply. Awkward silence. "Come on. Just ask me." "What", asks Edward. But since he does not even bother to intonate the words, his question just ends up sounding like a quiet grumble instead of an actual question.

Ling Greed rolls his eyes before abruptly parking at the roadside. "You know what I mean. So just ask me straightforward. You know. Like nobody else would do." Edward blows out his cheeks. "Okay, fine. Why not. Did you or didn't you rob a restaurant, a few years ago?" "What...?" "You heard me the first time."

Only after a while does Ling Greed, whose face remains emotionless, finally answer: "I did. And it was my idea." "But why...?" "Because I was desperate for that money." "Acknowledged. Why did you touch me back then?" "I didn't want to know whether you were a homophobe or not. I rather wanted to know whether you were gay or not."

"Why was it so important in the first place?" "Because I wanted to fuck you." "You _wanted_?" "Yes. But I lost my interest in you." "Ouch..." "Yeah." "Okay, never mind. Why weren't you the slightest bit worried when Lan Fan was found half-dead in our bathroom?" "Because I've already seen someone lying on the floor that way before." "Who was it...? Was it Gluttony...?" Silence.

But then: "Yes." "But who...?" "Killed him? No idea. But there's no way mother or Lust did it." "But what about you...?" "Like I said. I have no idea. All I know is that Pride is convinced that he's the culprit. He even stopped eating meat. Also, he's having those OCD-moments." "Who, except for your family, knows about Gluttony?"

"Father Hohenheim." "Then how is it that one of our guests is _D._? Father Hohenheim wasn't there, remember?" "No idea." "And haven't you noticed anything suspicious...?" "Nope." "So you didn't do it. Good." "Interesting." "What...?" "That you're jumping to that conclusion, even though you still haven't asked me explicitly."

"Haven't asked you _what_?" "Well, Ed. You can just sit here, pretending to be clueless and emotionless. Or you can mutate into that smart hothead you used to be, when you first came to Amestris." That hit home. "Fine, asshole! Did you do this to Lan Fan or not?", asks Edward furiously. Deafening silence.

But then, Ling Greed suddenly raises his voice for the first time: "Of course not, you fucking wanker!" "Greed...!" "No, shut the fuck up! Ever since you came to this godawful town, I've been your friend _and_ wank-material!" "Kimblee told me a different story!" "Let me guess! I'm trying to eliminate potential competitors because I want to fuck my half-sister, right?" Awkward silence.

But then: "Um... Yeah..." "Unbelievable." "But you said that Kimblee wouldn't tell Winry about my bisexuality -" "Because she'd like you better then, I know." "So...?" "That was a lie, idiot! I just said that because I knew you wouldn't have believed me if I'd said something like _'don't worry, mate, Kimblee may be an arsehole but he would never out others'_ instead."

"Wait...! Were you actually trying to soothe me...?" "Yes, you stupid son of a... Midge." " _Midge_...?", asks Edward with a raised brow. Ling Greed shrugs. "Yeah, you know? I don't feel like insulting your mother. That poor woman probably doesn't even know that her son's such a two-faced bugger", he retorts with composure.

"Look, Greed... I do wanna say that I'm sorry! But I can't! Because right now, I don't even know who's telling the truth...!" "Well. One of us is trying to help an old friend, despite that person's disloyalty and the other one has betrayed his only family members twice and is now sitting behind bars. What does your gut say?"

"Damnit, I don't get it! You two keep pretending to be friends, but you clearly hate each other!" "Nope. Ling hates Kimblee. Greed would marry him if he were gay." "O... Kay... And what about you and me...?" "Well. Greed hates you. Ling would marry you if he were gay." "But... What about that Lust-thing...?" "Oh, I do want to fuck her", answers Ling Greed nonchalantly.

"However, your existence isn't the problem. And neither is Kimblee's. Fortuna and society are. But sure, just pride yourself on that Ling Greed-is-jealous-of-me-idea." "Hey!", grunts Edward. "What, huh? Are you narked? Because I'm not." "You're not...?" "Nope. After all, I know exactly why it's been so easy for you to listen to Kimblee instead of believing your own mate."

Edward cannot believe his ears: "Hey, don't you dare! I'm not falling for him!" "I know. But apparently, you're still mad at me because of that weird shower-incident, aren't you?" The younger boy's silence speaks volumes. "Cool. Now I finally know _what_ you're angry at. But I still don't get _why_." Edward gives him a cold look.

However, he does not look Ling Greed in the eye, when he suddenly rises to speak again: "Because you treated me like one of your toys. You played with me and then you just threw me away. But I'm not your possession! And I don't allow you to treat me that way!" "So you're saying that Kimblee doesn't treat you like a toy?"

"Kimblee and I aren't real friends. More like partners. And yet, he's been honest with me. Or at least, more honest than you." "So you think I'm a liar? Fine then. I myself know that I'm not a liar. I'm just someone who's having secrets. Because secrets give me some privacy and that's what I need from time to time."

"Is that the reason why you're rejecting those who are trying to be close to you?" Greed is visibly surprised. "What's wrong, huh?" "Um, well. I'm just a little confused by the fact that your question didn't quite sound like a reproach." "Yeah. Guess what. There are people who ask questions out of sheer curiosity and not just because they want to judge you non-stop", retorts Edward sarcastically.

"Okay, got it." "And the answer is...?" "Yes and no. I mean, I do need some time to myself every now and then but that's not the only reason." "Then what is the reason?" "Well. I guess, I treat people like toys because I'm trying to satisfy my limitless hunger... You know? To fill the void inside..." "Wow. Sounds lonely", remarks Edward in an uncharacteristically tender tone.

"Well. Unlike you, I don't have a family." "Of course, you do!" "Nope. Not any more. Not since mother's death. She was the only one who's been able to hold us together", answers Ling Greed with composure. "How...?" "I don't know. Actually, she did nothing but loving us with no strings attached. Each of us." "And... Your father...?" "He just loves himself and his wife." "No way..."

"Nice try, mate. But I know that you're not surprised at all. Who can blame you, huh. But whatever." Silence. But then: "What about your siblings...?" "What about them?" "Have you six always been like this?" "We're five." "That's not the point!" "Oh, the bossy Ed again, huh?" Edward answers with a determined look. And Ling Greed knows what this means.

It means that he will not stop interrogating him at this point. "Fine. Ages ago, we merely used to have these harmless sibling-quarrels. Sloth got angry whenever someone ignored homely duties. She used to organise everything and stuff. Pride liked to rub it in our faces that he's a bloody prodigy. Lust was a little _Lolita_ from time to time which annoyed Sloth in particular."

Ling Greed pauses. "However, when Gluttony joined our family, Lust just forgot about all the other boys and started dedicating herself to his life, restlessly. Pride, on the other hand, has always preferred Sloth's company. They drank tea together and chatted about authors, whose names I can't pronounce. And I..." "Yes...?"

"Well, unlike our father, Sloth and Pride, I've never been a workaholic, an organiser or a bookworm. I'm an adventurist, just like mother. Back then, I didn't want to rule the world, I rather wanted to _explore_ it. And mother was perfectly fine with it. She's always been there for me. Yet, she's given me space whenever I needed it. She trusted me, believed in me, loved me..."

"What happened then...?" "Gluttony died. Then mother. Then our family..." "But why...?" "Well. Father locked himself in his office and – in doing so – unofficially put Sloth in charge. And bloody hell, she could be so merciless at times. Especially towards Lust, who's starting to meet boys while being total arsehole to Pride, Sloth's precious darling. However, she and I ain't best friends, either."

"Why not?" "Well. You see? Sloth has been parented differently. Before mother turned the house into America, she, father and Sloth had lived another life." "What kind of life?" "A life without adventure trips and multi-cultural encounters, let alone family members. Instead they used to live like conservatives. Very tradition-bound and stuff."

Ling Greed pauses again. "And when Sloth became our _new mother_ , if you will, she just picked up where her parents had left off prior to my adoption. In other words – she tried to change us." "How...?" "Well, she did her best to prevent us from living our lives _outside_ the house. Instead, she wanted us _inside_ the house, where she's been able to keep everything under control."

Ling Greed rolls his eyes. "She took my things, my money, my freedom. And I hated her for that. She forced Lust to go to church with her. And Lust hated her for that. She took everything, but gave nothing." "You mean as in _nothing_ nothing _..._?" "Well. Sort of. If you wanted to win her over, you had to follow her rules and have good marks. Mother _never_ cared about marks and stuff."

Ling Greed rolls his eyes gain. "Unlike our father, Sloth and Pride, of course..." Ed gulps, before hesitatingly asking: "What about Envy...?" "What about him?" "I don't know... But for some reason, you haven't talked about him so far." Ling Greed does not answer which gives Ed the opportunity to ask the following question: "Kimblee said something about him and Lust... Is it true...?"

"I don't know. Ask him." "Wait, does that mean you don't -!" "Hate Envy because I want to fuck my half-sister? Right. Sorry to disappoint you." "But then why do you two hate each other?" "Like I said – ask him." "I'm asking you!" "I'm afraid, you're asking the wrong person. Envy hated me first. Just like he hated you first. And probably everyone else in the world."

Edward blows out his cheeks "What the hell is wrong with that guy? I mean, has he always been like this...?" Ling Greed shrugs, before relaxedly answering: "Possibly. But only after mother had died, did he show us his colours for the first time. Or let's better say – his _colour_. Green." "Right...", murmurs Edward with a pensive mien...

OOO

In the meantime, Solaris Lust is sitting in the classroom with wet eyes and slightly smudgy mascara. "All right. Next week we're going to pick up where we left off today. You can go now. Have a nice day." The students exit the classroom as fast as possible, after Mr Mustang has dismissed them. Except for Lust, who is not moving at that moment.

"Solaris. Are you all right?", asks her teacher with a serious look after the last pupil has left. Solaris just nods silently. "Then why haven't you raised your finger, today? And why are you looking like a raccoon?", he asks with a playful smirk. "It's just that... No... Forget it... I don't want to bother you...", she mumbles.

"Well. I'm available at the moment", announces Roy with a rather _brotherly_ smile this time. However, she has not capitulated yet: _"One day, you're going to take the bait, Mustang! After all, I can still be a Lolita!"_ Lust bites her lip. "I have two more classes today. But perhaps we could just meet after school...?" Silence. But then: "Sure." His student answers with an unreadable smirk...


	20. Burning Desire

**IMPORTANT INFORMATION AHEAD:**

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own anything, not the brand names, not the song titles and especially not Fullmetal Alchemist.

 **Content:** Lemon burning. I mean _warning_ , of course (;

 **Name:** Gluttony's other name Porter is an allusion to Brotherhood-Gluttony's gate.

 **Allusion:** Roy's dream is clearly inspired by Brotherhood-Lust's death scene. Kimblee's nickname for Edward is an allusion to the _dog of the military_ -thing. Also, do you remember that conversation between BH-Riza and BH-Kimblee in Ishval? Good (:

 **Pairing:** Kimblee and Edward will  never have a sexual relationship, just so you know.

 **Location:** The pub that will be appearing in this chapter, is the one from the series. 2003-Maes and 2003-Roy are having drinks there.

 **\- Chapter 20: Burning Desire -**

"Someone has _already_ asked you to buy Kimblee's freedom? Who?", asks Edward with a confused mien, while he and Ling Greed are sitting in the living room of the Armstrong mansion, later that day. Ling Greed is also quite surprised. But at the same time, he is relaxed as always. Olivier Mira Armstrong crosses her legs.

After that, she coldly answers: "Your brother." "Wait, you mean Alphonse?", asks Edward, still with a confused look. "Wow. Kimblee has more friends than I thought", realises Ling Greed with composure. The _Ice Queen_ snorts "Greenhorns. Alphonse is not the brother I was referring to." This time, Ling Greed and Edward answer with rather quizzical looks...

OOO

"Why?", asks Ling Greed as relaxedly as possible. At that moment, he is standing in his brother's room. Ivan Envy stretches his body, snorting: "He's my _mate_ , too, remember?" "Nice try, Envy. But I don't buy it." "Tcha. Your loss, dear brother." "What did you offer her?" " _Her_?" "Olivier. I mean, there's no way she's going to do him that favour without asking for anything in return."

"Why not? Wait, I have an even better question – why didn't you just ask her?", asks Ivan Envy with a devious smirk. "Because I'm asking you", retorts Ling Greed with composure. "How come? Is this about being afraid that your new _sister_ from Briggs might have changed sides?", pouts the younger boy mockingly.

"Wow. Talking nonsense makes you even uglier than you already are. He and I are on the same team." "Really, huh? Then why did he pick me instead of you today?" That hit home. But Ling Greed is still keeping his composure. At least outwardly. "Counter question – why do you even care?" "Because I love where this is going. First Kimblee, then the pipsqueak."

"Update-alarm, ugly. Ed and I are mates again." At first, Envy does not know what to say. But then: "And how many times did you have to suck his chopper in order to fix things?" "Ask him", answers Ling Greed with a naughty smirk and exits the room. Consequently, he cannot see his younger brother's hateful look at that moment...

OOO

Entering his flat in the evening, Solf, who is wearing an electronic tag, is secretly glad that nobody is home at the moment. Except for Riza, who is escorting him. "So, you know the rules, Mr Kimblee! You're not allowed to leave your flat, without me or Officer Breda! Also, you must not contact the victim!" "Uh-huh. And what if she decides to _contact_ me?", asks Kimblee relaxedly.

"That's quite improbable", answers Riza calmly. "With all due respect, Miss. There is a difference between _improbable_ and _impossible_ ", retorts Solf nonchalantly. Officer Hawkeye's mien is thoroughly serious. "With all due respect, Mr Kimblee. That girl has reported you to the police." Kimblee is speechless. Yet, he keeps his composure...

OOO

Meanwhile, Winry, Kain, May, Catherine, Alphonse and Edward are sitting together in flat 1b and talking about the neighbour from 2b. "My sister truly wants to see me dead. I mean, she asked _him_ of all people to be my tutor, even though he could poison me too. Or perhaps _just_ _because_ of that", complains Olivier's sister.

"Wait! Is that everything, your sister is asking for? Kimblee has to be your tutor from now on?", asks Edward with a confused mien. Catherine nods, her look uncharacteristically gloomy. "So what?", interposes Winry snappily. "Hey, I'm scared, okay?", clarifies the other blonde in the room. "Why is that, huh? Kimblee is innocent!", hisses Winry.

"Says who?", asks Catherine with a raised eyebrow. "I say that!", retorts Winry sharply. "Well. Apparently, Lan Fan isn't of the same opinion as you", retorts Cat. The others answer with a puzzled look. Except for Lan Fan's cousin. "May...? Is that true...?", asks Winry with a sad mien. May does not answer at first. But then she nods silently...

OOO

"What a backstabber!", hisses Winry a few minutes later, while stomping out of the building. Edward, who is the only one that has decided to follow her, is a little helpless at that moment. "Hey, Winry! What are you up to? You can't just visit her, it's already too late!" "I won't, okay? I just can't stand being in the same room with that bitch!"

"Wait... Are you talking about Catherine?" "Of course! She's May's best friend which is why I kept my mouth shut but truth be told, I don't like her at all!" "Okay, Winry! Stop!" Winry obeys reluctantly. Edward hesitatingly grasps her shoulders and looks her straight in the eye. "You need to calm down! I'm sure Lan Fan did this for a reason!" "Wait, are you actually defending her?"

"Yes... I am..." "Why, Ed? Why?", asks Winry reproachfully. "Because... She's my friend! Which is why I don't think she would ever betray somebody for no reason!" "So? Are you saying that Kimblee is the culprit?" "What? No! I'm saying that there has to be _another_ reason! Lan Fan will be released on Monday! Just wait until then, so you two can talk, okay?" Winry does not answer.

Suddenly, they get interrupted by Roy: "Hey there." "Roy! Where have you been the entire day?", asks Winry in a reprehending tone. "Forgive me, _mom_! I was seeing a friend!", answers Roy with a playful smirk. "Who?", she asks curiously. "You don't know that person. Anyways, see you later." "Liar! I bet, he was having a date!", she grunts, after Roy left. Ed instantly becomes suspicious...

OOO

"Tell me the truth! You were seeing _her_ , weren't you?", asks the blond one day later, his mien thoroughly judgemental. "Why don't you come in, _Fullmetal_?", offers Roy dryly, after Edward has already entered his flat. "You're unbelievable! She's your damn student and yet you're dating her!" Mr Mustang rolls his eyes.

"Okay. First off, I am _not_ dating her." "Then why did you lie, when Winry asked you about your so-called _friend_?" "Because Winry and you are teenagers! And teenagers tend to make mountains out of molehills." "The real molehills are her boobs!" "Nicely said, _Fullmetal_." "Wow. You don't even bother to contradict!"

"Well. I'm a scientist. Therefore, I see no point in contradicting when someone is stating a fact." "You're perverse!" "Is that so? Because in fact, you are the one who keeps talking about her attractiveness." "You're calling her attractive?", asks Ed with a disgusted mien. "All right, now you're totally twisting my words." "Am I, huh?" "Yes. You are."

"Why are you doing this? Don't you see that you're jeopardizing your own career? I thought you wanted to become the next headmaster!" Roy narrows his eyes. "How do you know that?" "Please, that's an open secret!" "Fine, whatever." " _Whatever_ , huh? Sorry, but you're clearly out of your mind! I bet, that witch has cursed you or something!"

"Are we a little superstitious?", asks Roy mockingly. "Okay, you know what? You can mock me if you like! But I swear, you're playing with fire! And I know exactly what's gonna happen! Sooner or later, she will hook you up! So don't say, I didn't warn you!", hisses Ed before aggressively stomping away. Roy answers with a confused mien, that suddenly turns into a rather pensive one...

OOO

Later that day, he is having a weird dream: _"On your knees!", he commands, after he has fired a shot at Lust. Jean is standing next to him. Somehow, her wound just heals within seconds. "Sorry to say. But it's gonna take more than you're capable of to make me get on my knees." Roy fires three more shots. But to no avail. "How merciless", remarks Lust mockingly._

" _You're a witch!", realises Jean with a shocked mien. "Indeed", answers Lust nonchalantly. "I got a funny feeling. The only reason you're telling us this is 'cause you don't plan on letting us live", realises Roy. "Yeah. It's such a shame", answers Lust. After that, she unexpectedly extends her fingers, that are sharp as spears, in order to pierce through Jean's lower body. With success._

" _HAVOC!", shouts Roy. "Havoc, hang in there!", he adds quietly. "Don't kid yourself. He's a dead man", chuckles Lust. "No, he's not!", objects Roy before quickly grabbing Havoc's lighter and burning her alive, while mockingly remarking: "Looks like I can get you on your knees after all! You told me I couldn't kill you! But I'd like to try and prove you wrong!"_

 _It is only when she finally burns to ashes, that he stops using the lighter. Roy looks her straight in the eye, while she is uttering her last words: "You killed me... I hate losing... But there are worse ways to die_ _than at the hands of a man like you... I love how cold and focused your eyes are... I look forward to the day when those eyes will be wide with agony... It's coming... It's coming..."_

OOO

Roy starts from his sleep. At the moment, he is sitting at his desk. He must have fallen asleep while he was preparing next week's lessons. " _What the hell...?"_ , he mutters inwardly and rubs his eyes. When his mobile phone starts ringing all of a sudden, he almost jumps out of his skin. The caller is his best friend Hughes...

OOO

"A nightmare?", asks Maes with a surprised mien. At the moment, they are sitting in their favourite pub. Roy nods. "And what was it about?" "That doesn't matter. I don't believe in the meaning of dreams and nightmares." "Why not? Dreams are based on psychological phenomenons. And psychology as a discipline is a science." "Nonsense, Hughes." "Anyway, I'm curious. So speak!"

Roy rolls his eyes. "Fine. I burnt a woman alive." "Literally or metaphorically speaking?" "Hey, I used a damn lighter, okay?" "So... Literally or metaphorically speaking?", repeats Hughes sarcastically. "Hughes!", mutters Roy. Hughes answers with amused laughter. "Okay, okay, all jokes aside! Because that indeed sounds serious!" "No, it doesn't."

"Yes, it does! So tell me, how long have you been _abstinent_ now?" Roy answers with an embarrassed look. "Almost four weeks...", he murmurs sheepishly. "Ouch. That's tragic, fellow", remarks Maes dryly. "Cut the crap, Hughes! I'm not a sex-addict!" "Yes, you are. Which is why I strictly advise you to stay away from _anybody_ who might pose a threat to your plan." "What the -?"

"Well, either that or you could just stop this nonsense." "Are you nuts? You were the one who advised me to focus on my career, completely!" "Aye, but apparently this way you're having a harder time focusing, aren't you?" Roy does not answer right away. Instead, he just takes a sip at first. But then: "I'll stay away from her."

OOO

Exiting his bedroom in the late afternoon, Kimblee suddenly hears a hesitant knocking at the door. When he opens it, he is quite surprised to see: "Winry." "Hi..." Awkward silence. "Um... I thought you might be hungry...!" Only now does he notice the food she is holding. "Come in", he offers with a smirk on his face. "Thanks...", murmurs Winry with blushed cheeks...

OOO

"Does your _watchdog_ know that you're visiting me?" "His name is Ed. And yes, he knows. We don't keep secrets from each other. Not any more." "Of course, you don't." "Hey, Kimblee, are you trying to tell me something?", asks Winry angrily, but still insecurely. "Nope. Just wondering how things are going. Between him and you."

"Why are you asking me this?" "I'm just making conversation." " _Of course, you are._ " " _Hey, Win, are you trying to tell me something_?" Winry sighs. "Okay, fine. Ed is not my boyfriend! Are you satisfied now?" "Nope. Rather confused." "Why is that?" "Because I was standing right next to him that day when you suddenly barged in and jumped on his bones." Winry blushes.

"Yeah, you know? We..." "Didn't have sex that night?" Winry does not answer verbally. Instead she just nods sheepishly. "Why not, what happened?" "I don't know... It just didn't work..." _"Right, because Ed prefers choppers"_ , he chuckles inwardly. But: "And it was totally my fault..." "Are you serious...?" "Yes, I just couldn't do it. Why?" "No reason", fibs Kimblee with composure. Silence.

But then: "Sorry to say, but apparently your sexual chemistry is fraught with problems." Winry is visibly scandalised: "Kimblee!" "What? I'm just telling the truth", he answers nonchalantly. "No, you're not! I do want to fuck with him! More than anything else!" In a split second, Winry covers her mouth with her own hands.

"Oh. Are we being a little impulsive today?" "No, we're not! _I'm just telling the truth_!" "If so, why are you here, in 2b and not in 1b, huh?" "Because... He wants to go on a date before... You know..." "Deeply interesting. And when exactly is that particular date going to take place?" "Well... He says, he wants to defeat _D._ first..." "And what is it that you want?" Deafening silence.

"I don't know... But I do know that I'm sick of waiting...!" "Then go and ask him!" "And what if he says no?" "In that case, you can come here and get fucked by me instead", offers Solf nonchalantly. Winry shakes her head in disbelief. "You... Are a maniac!" "Yes, but in the first place, I'm bored. So", he retorts. The blonde sighs with an annoyed look in her eyes. A look that pleases him...

OOO

"Yesterday, I had a conversation with Mr Mustang. It was about your maths test next week. So when was your last private lesson?" At the moment, Headmaster Bradley and his son Envy are sitting in his home office. "Um. It's been a while, why?" Wrath shakes his head. "We agreed on twice a week, remember?"

"It's not my fault, okay? Other things got in the way." "Nice try, son. But I already talked to Trisha. Edward will be free today. Now, take your maths book and pay him a visit!" "But -!" "Case closed!", interrupts King masterfully. Envy does not answer. Instead, he compresses his lips to prevent himself from insulting his father...

OOO

"Wait a sec! _She_ asked _you_? Not the other way around?", asks Alphonse with a surprised look, while he and Edward are eating cornflakes in the kitchen. "Um... Yeah... So...?" His younger brother does not answer. Instead, he just asks: "What did you say?" "Yes, of course! What else?" "Search me! I don't know about your feelings. We're barely talking about such things. Or about anything..."

Edward does not know what to say. But Alphonse is changing the subject anyway: "So? When?" "Um... This evening..." "Great. And how can I help you?" "What...?" "Come on, brother! I know you!", retorts Al with a teasing smirk. "Um... Well... Maybe... I could indeed need some... He-he-he-" "Okay, I got it. You can stop exhausting yourself", chuckles Alphonse. "Al!", hisses Edward.

Suddenly, the doorbell rings. "That must be May! We're going to the zoo so she can show me her favorite animals! Pandas!", announces Al happily. "Very cute. But hey, weren't you just about to -?" "Don't worry, brother! All you got to do is be yourself! That's it!" "So not helping, Al", mutters Edward with a grumpy mien.

"Trust me, Ed. I know what I'm talking about", chuckles Alphonse while opening the door. His smile disappears immediately, when he sees: "Ivan Envy Bradley...!" "What?", asks Edward with a puzzled look before quickly getting up from his chair. Envy does not answer verbally. But his annoyed look speaks volumes...

OOO

"Envy...?", asks Edward hesitatingly, while they are sitting in his room and writing forcefully. "What?", snarls the other boy. "Hey, stop being such a bitch already! I just wanted to ask why you didn't lie to your father! You could have told him that we were seeing each other regularly, you know?", grunts the blond.

Envy abruptly stops writing. "Did... I say something wrong?" " _Au contraire_. Your idea is brilliant. From now on, we're going to tell our parents that we're seeing each other twice a weak." "So you're saying that we should lie to them..." "Oh come on, since when do you care, huh?" "Good point..." While starting to pack his things, Envy just snorts: "I know. And now excuse me, please."

"Wait, where are you going?", asks Edward with a confused mien. "Why would I tell you?" "Why wouldn't you, huh?" "Because it's none of your business. We aren't friends or something." "Well... We are allies... Ain't we...?" "Not that I remember." "Okay. If so, I'm gonna rat you out!" "Oh please, don't be so pathetic. We both know you wouldn't do that."

"Sorry, but Kimblee and I already told you that we wouldn't let you get away with this one!" "Well, yes. But unfortunately, that had been the case before I helped him out of the shit." Edward smirks mockingly. "Ha! And you say I'm the naïve one! You really think that he would change his mind just because you did him a favor?"

"Okay, first of all – you _are_ naïve. Thinking, I'd do him a favour with no strings attached, _is_ naïve. To say the least." "What...?" "Oh yeah, you heard me! He promised me, he'd leave me alone from now on!" "But why...?" "Because he was desperate for my help." "No, that's not what I meant! What I'm asking you is why you don't wanna help us! Together, it'd be so much easier to win!"

"I know." "But?" "Well." Without warning, Envy slides his hand up his enemy's stomach, whispering: "I'd rather watch you suffering. And nobody knows better how to make you suffer than _D._ and I do." Edward answers with a hateful look. "Keep on dreaming, Envy! You can't make me suffer!", he clarifies. "Is that so?", asks Envy with a vicious smirk.

Suddenly, he starts touching his enemy's crotch tenderly. And just like that, Edward's body is stone still. Except for his gradually hardening manhood. "Horrible, isn't it? That _burning_ _desire_ for your enemy's touches, I mean", whispers Envy mischievously. "Sounds like you're talking from experience", retorts Ed with a triumphant, but also aroused mien. Envy abruptly removes his hand.

All of a sudden, his back is being pushed against the wall by Edward. "Your speechlessness speaks volumes, Envy! Just admit it! Say that you wanna fuck with me!" But Envy stubbornly compresses his lips. "Open your damn mouth already!", commands the other boy while trying hard to force his enemy's mouth open.

Suddenly, Envy bites his enemy's thumb. Edward compresses his lips, in order to suppress a scream of pain. The taller boy chuckles maniacally before abruptly grasping the shorter boy's bleeding thumb and doing what he can do best: Licking the blood off with relish. "Oh, you love that, don't you?", asks Edward with an aroused mien. "You god-damned predator", he adds in a whisper.

Envy answers with a devious smirk. "A little birdie told me that you and your girlfriend-to-be were having a few problems in the bedroom, recently." "What?", asks Edward, his eyes and mouth wide open. "I thought you were planning on leaving _Gaymestris_ for good?", chuckles Envy mischievously. "I'm not gay!", clarifies the blond.

"And yet it only takes me seconds to make you moan. How come, huh?" "Counter question – why are you constantly touching me and licking my hands and lips?" "Like I said. I _love_ to make you suffer", whispers the taller boy with a ferocious smirk. "And what if... I like it?", asks Edward triumphantly, but still insecurely. Envy is visibly astounded by that particular question.

"Well... I'm sure you won't like it that much any more, when you're in a relationship with her." "What...?" "You heard me the first time." "No, you're talking shit! I would never cheat on Winry!" Envy raises an eyebrow. "Really? You're sure about that?" "I swear to God!", answers the irreligious blond impulsively. Envy is even more puzzled this time.

" _God_ , huh? Interesting." "You know what I mean!", grunts Edward. "Yes. But there's something else, I know for sure. You will _never_ keep that promise. Because desires are based on drives, not on reason." "If so, I've already won! Because I'm a rationalist!" "Of course you are", chuckles Envy mockingly. "I'm warning you, Envy! Don't get me started!"

"Or what? Will you kill me with your favourite _weapon_? Be my guest", whispers the taller boy, while raising his knee and brushing his enemy's crotch. And just like that, Ed's manhood is hardening anew, whereas his other body parts are stone still again. "I _love_ how vulnerable you are. And I can't wait to ruin your life." After having said these words, he just leaves. Ed does not move...

OOO

"Let's play a game!" "A game...?", asks Edward with a confused look. At the moment, he and Winry are sitting in _Giolio's_ _Ristorante_ , in the Amestris Avenue. "Yes! We're going to ask each other questions and answer them honestly!" "Sounds like an -" "Equivalent exchange?" "Yeah." "So...?" "Okay! But I'll start!", he decides. "Fire away!"

Edward nods before asking his first question: "When is your birthday?" "Next Thursday", answers Winry with a tender smile. "Okay. Your turn!" "Um... That may be a little too personal... But what happened to your arm...?" "Well... I got into a fight with an older and tall... With an older guy, when I was young." "Let me guess! Because of Alphonse?" "Yeah..."

Winry smiles softly, before announcing: "Your turn!" "Um, okay... Are you religious?" "Wow... That's a tough one... But I'd say yes..." "Really? In what way?" "I don't know. But I've always believed in God. Especially after my parents and my granny died... I guess, it's just comforting in a way." "I see..." "What about you? Are you religious, Ed...?" "Nope. Scientist, remember?"

"Right", mutters Winry dryly. "Your turn, Ed." "Um... Who knows all of your secrets? Or most of them?", asks Edward next. "Maes Hughes", answers Winry right away. "Really?" "Yes... He's like a father to me... And Elicia like a sister..." "How come...?" "I don't know... It just _happened_ , if you will. Probably because he's Roy's other best friend." Edward nods.

"What about you, Ed? Who's your _human diary_?", asks the blonde. "Hey, that doesn't count! You can't just ask me _back_!" "Yes, I can! But don't worry, I'll ask you a different question afterwards!" "Fine", grunts Ed. "It's Alphonse!" "But... Why haven't you told him about _D._ then?" "Because I don't wanna bother him! He's so happy at the moment!" "I understand." "Yes. So, your turn!"

Winry answers with a smile that is barely visible. After that, she asks the following question: "Do you miss San Francisco?" "Nope. Well, I do wanna see my Sensei and her husband again one day, but other than that, I don't miss anything." "How come...?" "I don't know. But I guess I just don't belong there." "And do you belong here?" "We'll see." Winry answers with an amused laugh.

"Your turn!", she announces then. "Do you miss Australia?" "Just the weather and my old house. Your turn." "Why? I just asked you question!" "No, you asked me _back_ and _that doesn't count_ , remember?" "Right", grunts Ed. "So...?" "Um... Okay! Are you conservative?" "Wow... Um... Yes and no..." "Could you be more specific, please?", he asks impatiently.

"Okay... Well, for example... I don't believe in so-called _open relationships_." "Me neither." "Good!" "Good!" Awkward silence. Edward gulps. "And what about marriages...? Um, I'm just curious, you know?" Winry nods, a sheepish smile on her face. "Well, my brother's parents haven't been married. And I'd never judge my mother! Yet, I'd rather marry someone before giving birth to a baby."

"I see..." "What about you...? Your parents haven't been married either, right?" "Right. But they did plan on marrying. However, I myself don't see a point in that. Perhaps, because I don't wanna have children, anyway." "You don't...?" "Not really. Raising children or pets is too laborious, in my opinion", answers Edward nonchalantly.

"Oh... Okay... Your turn...!" "Hey, Winry... Did I say something wrong...?" "No! Of course not!", fibs Winry. "Come on, ask me a question, Ed!" "Um... Yeah... Well...", he stutters sheepishly. "Hey, Ed. What's wrong...?" "Nothing." "If so, just ask me! It'll be okay!" "Fine! How many times have you already been in a relationship?", he asks through gritted teeth. "Um... Actually..." "Yes...?"

"I've never been in a relationship before...!" "You haven't...?" "No, have you...?" "No..." "But why...?" "What?", asks Ed with a confused mien. "You heard me!" "Um... I don't know... I guess, I'm just a _late starter..._ I've never had a crush on anybody until now..." "Seriously...?" "Yeah..." "Well, you're not the only one...!" "Really, huh? I thought, _every_ girl had a crush on Ling Greed."

"Ling Greed...?", asks Winry with a confused mien. "Yeah. You know? Black hair, violet eyes, sportive body, taller than me, asshole-smirk." "I know who Ling Greed is, okay?" "Yeah, yeah." "And just so you know! People say the same thing about his sister!" "Well, I never had a crush on Lust! I did have sex with her, yes, but I just wanted to get rid of my virginity!"

"And I slept with Kimblee for the same reason!" "Really, huh?" "Oh yes! Because the boy, I actually want to be and sleep with, keeps rejecting me for months!" "The hell I do! And you know what, Winry Rockbell? From now on, you'll be my girlfriend! And nobody except for me will be allowed to touch you! Ever!", hisses Ed through gritted teeth. Winry answers with a puzzled look.

However, inwardly, she slaps herself when she suddenly realises that she has never been more enamoured with him than at that precise moment. Without warning, she impulsively seizes him by the collar and kisses him. And since they are sitting in a dark corner, nobody can see it. At first, Edward is too astounded to react. But then, he just starts kissing her back...

OOO

After he has paid for their meal, they exit the restaurant and continue with their rather physical game in a dark street corner. While French-kissing her ardently, Edward pushes her against an exterior wall and takes down her tights as well as her panties. Winry's flawless legs are shaking heavily in anticipation.

A few seconds later, Edward is already penetrating her savagely. The blonde girl's moans are loud and piercing. From the blond boy's point of view, they are animating, too. Both of them are enjoying their first intercourse to the fullest. As a consequence, both of them sleep with a smile on their faces that night...

OOO

Scodran Khan returns home on Sunday. "I'm listening, Kimblee." Solf rolls his eyes. "Come on, I'm sure you already know what happened. There's no way Olivier hasn't told you." "Olivier...?" "Yes, Olivier. She paid for everything, you know?" Only now does Scar raise his voice a little: "No, I didn't know that! Because nobody told me anything!" "Then how -?"

"You're wearing an electronic tag, idiot!" "Uh. Right." "Kimblee, I swear! If you were trying to poison that girl -!" "Then what, huh? Are you going to kick me out? Excuse me, but that's quite impossible at the moment. All you can do is hope that my innocence will be proved soon or that they'll put me behind bars again", retorts Kimblee with composure. Scar calms down immediately.

"How is it that you're being so relaxed?" "I'm not guilty. No matter what that... Girl's saying." Scar raises an eyebrow. "But why would she lie to the police?" The eighteen-year-old shrugs. "I don't know. But I couldn't care less." Solf is lying. And Scar knows that. Yet, he just changes the subject: "I'm not in the mood for cooking. Let's order something instead." Kimblee nods silently...

OOO

On Monday, he has to go to school again. Despite all the disdainful looks in the school corridor, Kimblee keeps his composure. And his sarcasm: "Will you take a seat next to me? That way we could pass notes or play Hangman." "I'll be waiting outside. But thanks for the offer", retorts Officer Hawkeye sarcastically.

"Miss Hawkeye?", she suddenly hears a man, whose voice sounds very familiar to her, ask from behind. It is the neighbour from 3b. "Mr Mustang", answers Riza Hawkeye as stoically as possible, and nods. Kimblee raises an eyebrow, but he does not interfere. Instead, he just starts chuckling inwardly. _"My, my! Hats off, ladykiller Mustang!"_

OOO

However, on their drive home after school, he cannot contain himself any longer: "So. You and the maths teacher, huh?" "Excuse me?" "Come on, you heard me, _Riza_." "First of all – it's Officer Hawkeye!" "I beg your pardon, _Officer Hawkeye_!", he pouts jocularly. "Hush! Second, you're not my therapist, so stop asking me questions about my personal life!"

"Are we a little introverted? Because if so, we'll definitely become friends." "Not interested, thank you", retorts Riza sarcastically. "Why not, huh? Even your stepbrother gets along with me. And he's Jewish. And so does Edward Elric, by the way. Despite the fact that I screwed his girlfriend." Officer Hawkeye, who is already used to teenagers like him, still keeps her composure.

"Okay, if so, we can become friends, I guess. But beforehand, we should get to know each other, don't you think? So, for starters – my only hobby is _shooting_." Kimblee is not intimidated at all: "Wow. Very impressing. And have you ever shot somebody dead?" For a moment he is thinking that he has just seen her flinch.

"Yes, I have", she answers unemotionally. "How... Beautiful..." "What did you say...?", asks Riza with a slightly confused mien. "Well, I'm just saying – what could be more beautiful than doing work that puts your soul at risk? Because that's what it means to be alive!", answers Kimblee in an uncharacteristically euphoric tone and with the matching maniac look.

"Wow. Sometimes I wonder why they released you in the first place." "Tell me, Miss. You're not very happy about your deeds, are you? Well, you don't appear to be. But can you honestly tell me, in that split second when you take down an enemy, you don't allow yourself to feel the slightest tinge of satisfaction and pride in your skills?"

"Enough, Kimblee!", commands Riza. Everybody else would be intimidated at that very moment. But not Solf Julius Kimblee: "I'll tell you, what I don't get. Did you people expect something different? Did you put on that uniform, thinking you wouldn't be asked to kill?" Officer Hawkeye does not answer.

But Kimblee has not finished speaking anyway: "The one thing worse than death is to avert your eyes from it. When I kill someone, I never took my eyes off that person for a second. And I'll never forget anybody, because I know that they won't forget me, either." Riza does not answer. Her hands are slightly shaking. And Kimblee sees that...

OOO

Only after the other students have already exited the classroom, does Roy head for the door too, when he suddenly notices: "Solaris? You're still here?" "Well, yes. I just want to talk with you for a second." "Good. So do I. But now is not a good time." "Okay... How about this evening then?" " _Evening_ , huh...?"

"Sorry, but I have another appointment, right after school", fibs his student. "Fine", answers Roy. After that, he quickly writes something down on a piece of paper before handing it to her. "Meet me there, at seven o'clock." Lust answers with a triumphant smirk. But since Roy has already turned his back on her, he cannot see it...

OOO

In the afternoon, Kimblee hears his neighbour's radio playing Lana Del Rey's _Burning Desire_. That is not the first time, he can hear the songs, Rose and Lyra are listening to. That does not bother him. But it does intrigue him. Solf is not specifically interested in their taste of music. But rather in that one song they are repeatedly listening to.

" _I wonder what song that is."_ His stream of thought gets abruptly cut off when the doorbell rings unexpectedly. His flatmate is not home at the moment, which is why Kimblee himself has to answer the door. Opening it, he is surprised to see: " _You_... _?_ " Lan Fan does not answer verbally. Instead she just nods silently...


	21. God Knows I Tried

**IMPORTANT INFORMATION AHEAD:**

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own anything, not the brand names, not the song titles and especially not Fullmetal Alchemist.

 **Content:** Lemons here and there. And a murder.

 **Pairing:** Ling Greed and Olivier will  never have a sexual relationship, just so you know.

 **Location:** That house, Brotherhood-Gluttony is swallowing, will be appearing.

 **Allusion:** Remember how Brotherhood-Edward enumerates all these chemicals in Fort Briggs while Winry is changing his automail? And the reason why he and Brotherhood-Alphonse burn down their house in the first place? Good (;

 **\- Chapter 21: God Knows I Tried -**

"Okay, let me get this right, please. You've reported me to the police; _although_ you're believe in my innocence?", asks Solf Julius Kimblee dryly. "Wow. You certainly are a genius", remarks Lan Fan sarcastically. "Well. I'm sure I'm going to return the compliment once you'll have told me about your genius plan. So I'm all ears."

"It's actually very simple, Kimblee. Apparently, _D._ was trying to make it look like you'd been up to kill me. And since I'm officially accusing you, he or she will probably leave me and all the others alone for now, because otherwise nobody would think you're guilty any more. After all, you have the perfect alibi, right?" "Wow. This is indeed a genius plan. But a ruthless one at the same time."

"No, it's not! Because no matter what's going to happen next – you'll have an alibi!" "Wow, wait a sec. Are you trying to say that you did this to... Protect me?" "Of course, Kimblee. Because, you know? One day, I wanna marry you and have kids with you that are half Chinese and half racist", retorts Lan Fan sarcastically. Kimblee chuckles amusedly.

"Say what you want, but our kids would definitely look hot as hell." "Yeah. Before you call the family photographer, I should probably warn you. Sadly, God doesn't allow me to have kids", reveals Lan Fan nonchalantly. Kimblee answers with a confused look. "Are you serious...?" "Yeah. But I'm cool with that. I hate them anyway." Deafening silence.

"Whatever, I should go now." "You _should_ or you _want_?", asks Kimblee with a naughty smirk. "Why?" "Well. Just because of you, I'm sort of locked up. Therefore, you owe me a fuck, don't you think?" "Wow. I've always thought that Germans weren't that _explicit_." "Who's being the racist now, huh?" "Why don't you just fuck Winry?" "Because she's in a relationship." "She is...?"

"Oh. Are we disappointed or something?" "Not at all. Like I said, I've never had a thing for blonds." "Then why did you reject Ling Greed, huh?" "Because I'm not the slightest bit attracted to him." "Liar." "Excuse me?" "I saw the look you gave him." "Oh, you mean the kind of look you gave Winry?" "Exactly. So tell me, love. Why didn't you just sleep with him?"

"Because I prefer you", answers Lan Fan sarcastically. "I mean, look at you. You're the perfect mixture of Ling Greed and a dark-haired Edward Elric." "And you're the perfect mixture of Solaris Lust and a dark-haired Winry Rockbell." "Shut up, Kimblee", mutters Lan Fan dryly. But Solf does not obey: "And you're desperately trying to change the subject."

"Damnit, Kimblee! Don't you get it? I'm a freaking virgin!", reveals Lan Fan with an angry mien. Kimblee is visibly astonished. "You... Are kidding, right?" "No. I'm just trying to be a good girl, that's all." "Wow. I'm so turned on right now." "Hey, cut the crap, okay? I won't wait until marriage to have sex. But the least I can do, is wait for the right person." "The least you can do for...?"

"My parents, God." "God? Okay, that's hilarious." "Losing my virginity to somebody I love?" "Nope. Your loyalty to something or somebody that doesn't even exist. And even if he, she or it did exist, he, she or it wouldn't care about your vagina." "Hey, this isn't about God, okay? This is about my parents' wish." "So what? They're gone anyhow." "And you're an insensitive asshole."

"Yeah, because I was already looking forward to fucking the hell out of you but now I realise that I have to wait until you'll be a married and bored woman." "Your sarcasm sucks, Kimblee." "And so do your double standards. I mean, is smoking weed also part of your parents' plan? Or is that one rather about some deal you made with Father Christmas?" "Touché, asshole."

Kimblee smirks conspiratorially, before asking: "So? Do you want me to _coach_ you for your first night with Greed or not?" "Define _coach_!" "Well. I could just bust your cherry so you can turn it into a pie." "Okay, gross", remarks Lan Fan dryly. "You haven't answered my question, love." "If so, here's the answer – none of this will be necessary because I know how to say no to him!"

"Fair enough. But that doesn't mean, you can say no to me, either." "Yeah, that's for sure", answers Lan Fan sarcastically. "Okay, let's make a bet." "Wow. You really are bored, aren't you?" "Is that a no then?", asks Kimblee with an amused smirk. Lan Fan does not answer right away. But then: "Tell me the price!"

"All right. In case you should stay a virgin until the 1st of January, I'll be your slave for an entire day." "And I'll be yours, in case you should win." "Deal." "Deal." "Wanna make out?", asks Lan Fan nonchalantly, after they have shaken each other's hands. "I thought you'd never ask, love", whispers Kimblee with a naughty smirk before starting to kiss her savagely...

OOO

"Where are you going?", asks Jean in the evening. "I'm afraid, that's none of your business", answers Roy coldly and leaves. "What the hell is going on...?", asks Winry. "Search me! I guess, he's just narked because I ruined his _arse-crawling_ - _performance_ on Thanksgiving." "Why did you...?" _"Because_ _he ruined my relationship"_ , he grunts inwardly. "I don't know", he fibs instead...

OOO

After having gotten out of the taxi, Lust is starting to think that her teacher has played a hoax on her: Because their meeting spot is an unoccupied old house in the middle of nowhere. Consequently, she sighs with relief when she finally sees him. "You're late, Solaris." "Sorry, but it took us forever to find that place."

Roy just nods silently. "Whose house is this?" "That's a long story." "I have time", whispers Lust with a tempting smirk. "Well, I don't." "But -!" "Why don't you just say what you wanted to tell me at school?" "I will, but you have to swear you won't tell anybody! Especially not Olivier!" "Olivier...?", he asks with a confused look.

"Yes. So listen. Yesterday, I told my father about your brave deed. I didn't mention Roa's name though. Whatever, after I'd left his office, I _coincidentally_ overheard a phone conversation between him and Grumman. To cut a long story short – right now, I'm standing here and talking with our school's future headmaster!", reveals Lust euphorically. Roy cannot believe his ears: "No way...!"

After having raised his voice a little, he repeats: "No freaking way!" And just like that, he impulsively kisses her on the forehead. Lust almost freezes. She has never been kissed on the forehead. And ironically enough, Roy himself has never kissed anybody else on the forehead before. "I... Am so sorry, Solaris! That was violently inappropriate...!" Lust does not answer at first.

But then: "But... It felt... Good...!" "That doesn't matter! Truth be told, the reason why I wanted to see you in the first place is... Well..." "Oh my God...! You're actually planning on cutting the acquaintance with me...!" Roy does not answer. "But... Why...?", asks Lust with a disappointed mien. "Because others might -"

"I don't care about others, okay? Nobody knows about our friendship!" "You see, that's exactly the point, Solaris. We're not friends. You are my student and I am your -" "Teacher, I know. But what about Mr Hughes? Isn't he Winry's teacher, too?" "Yes, but Winry is like a daughter to him!" "And... What am I to you...?" Roy does not know what to say.

But then, he spontaneously decides to tell the truth: "A _threat_ , to be honest. Because I know full well that you've been trying to seduce me the entire time." Lust cannot believe her ears: "What...?" "Please Solaris, don't act surprised. And don't take me for an idiot. Not only am I clever enough to figure your intentions out, but I'm also strong enough to say no to you."

"Oh. Is that so, Mr Mustang?", asks Lust in her typical _femme fatale_ -voice. "Oh yes!" "Sorry to say, but I don't buy it. Because if you were indeed that _strong_ , you wouldn't try to escape", retorts Lust with a challenging look and the matching smirk. Roy does not know what to say. "Tell me, _teacher_. How many times have you knocked one out at the thought of me, huh?" Roy is speechless.

It is only when she suddenly starts touching his crotch, that he abruptly grasps her wrists. "Don't you dare!" Lust just laughs mockingly. "Oh please. We both know, you want me as much as I want you", she whispers into his ear. "Nobody will know. And nobody will get hurt", she continues while brushing his neck with her lips this time...

OOO

While pushing his student's stomach against a thick trunk, stimulating her clitoris and groping her _fruits_ , he starts penetrating her bottom too. "Don't stop!", she keeps screaming. She throws back her head, rolls her eyes and bites her lip, while inhaling his _Armani Code_. He himself is inhaling her _Hypnotic Poison_ and moaning all sorts of misogynistic words into her ear. Jean never insulted her..

OOO

"So much for _gentleman_ ", remarks Solaris Lust sarcastically. At that moment, they are sitting in the back seat of a taxi. Both of them are still breathing hard. "Hey!", pants Roy, before clarifying: "Just so you know! That won't happen again! Ever!" "Of course not, Mr Mustang! That was a total mistake!", answers Solaris Lust...

OOO

However, one week later, both of them have already broken their promise: That day, Lust is _riding_ him in his office at school. One week later, she is sitting on the teacher's desk in one of the classrooms – her legs straddled – and is getting penetrated by Roy. _"God knows I tried"_ , he keeps saying to himself with composure.

These days, Edward's and Winry's relationship is running as smoothly as Al's and May's. This is the first time since his arrival in Amestris, that Ed feels like a _normal_ teenager. And he is enjoying it. But whenever he sees Envy eating a banana in the school canteen or getting changed in the school's locker room, Ed automatically dreams things at night that force him to head for the bathroom...

Unlike Edward and Winry, Lan Fan and Kimblee prefer to keep their _friendship with benefits_ a secret from others. The same goes for King and and his secret girlfriend Lyra. But those who are in secret relationships, are not the only ones who act discreetly: Lately, _D._ is pretending to be in a coma. However, the victims are aware that this is nothing more than the calm before the storm...

OOO

"Bravo! After all these months, our favourite organiser is finally going to throw a party again!", exults Maes Hughes on Monday, after Sloth has invited him and their friends Rebecca, Olivier, Roy, Jean, Scodran and Alex to her Christmas party. Organising events is Juliet Sloth Bradley's passion. Especially in December.

"Have you invited Miles, too, my beautiful peony?", asks Alex excitedly. "Of course, darling. But unfortunately, he won't be able to make it", answers his fiancé in a slightly reproachful tone. "Oh, Scodran, you can bring somebody else to my party, if you like. Except for your flatmate, of course." " _Of course_ ", answers Scar dryly.

"And Rebecca, you can bring your friend Riza!", offers Juliet Sloth. Only now does Roy become attentive: "You mean Riza as in _Officer Hawkeye_?" "How many Rizas do you know, huh?", asks Jean sharply. Awkward silence. "Thanks for the invitation, love. I'm off", announces Roy all of a sudden and exits the staff room...

OOO

A few seconds later, he suddenly gets a text. With a quizzical look in his eyes, he starts reading it: _"I know your secret. And I'm not pleased with your action. But don't worry, I can keep a secret. But in return, you are going to do me a favour. I look forward to your cooperation. Kisses, D."_ Mr Mustang is nonplussed...

OOO

In the evening, Trisha knocks on the door of King's home office. "Yes?" "Um... You wanted to speak to me...?" "Trisha! Of course! Come in and take a seat, please!", he offers with a friendly smile. Trisha obeys. "Well... I don't know where to start... And to be honest, the only reason why I'm asking you is because you're the only person who knows about it..." "Knows about _what_...?"

"My relationship with Miss Thomas." "Uh...", murmurs Trisha. "Yes... Like I said, I'm still keeping our relationship a secret from my children. But Lyra is asking me to tell them about it..." "Then why haven't you?" "Because I don't know how the kids would react. But I'm sure you, on the other hand, do know the answer." "With all due respect... But isn't Lyra... Miss Thomas a child psychologist...?"

"She is. However, she advised me to ask someone who knows them better than she does." _"Wow. That woman certainly knows her job..."_ , she remarks inwardly. "So?" "Um... Truth be told, I don't know what to say. But in general, I'd always advise parents to be honest with their children." "I see... Thank you, Trisha." "You're welcome", answers Trisha and smiles through gritted teeth...

OOO

"Would you mind inviting Miss Lyra Thomas, too?", asks King Wrath one day later, while he and his children are having dinner. Sloth, Greed, Lust, Envy and Pride answer with quizzical looks. Trisha, on the other, slowly exits the room. However, she catches herself eavesdropping, after she has closed the door from outside. "I already did. Why, father?", asks Juliet with a sceptical look.

King Wrath opens his mouth to say something, when Ling Greed, who is smirking naughtily, suddenly interrupts him: "Bloody hell. Don't tell me you're shagging her." "Hush, Greed!", commands his father harshly. Ling Greed obeys. "Oh my God! You're not denying it!", realises Lust with a nonplussed mien.

"Don't get me wrong, father. But aren't you a little too old for a secret relationship?", asks Envy sarcastically. "Watch your mouth, Envy! Besides, it's not a secret any more!", answers King masterfully. "Well. Since you're asking for our permission – I'm fine with that", announces Pride snobbishly. "How generous you are", remarks his father sarcastically.

"Miss Thomas is a sophisticated woman", remarks Juliet Sloth approvingly. Lust, on the other hand, is not that happy: "That doesn't matter, okay? She's not mother!" "Don't be so egoistic, Lust! Everyone has to move on some day!", answers her older sister. "Really, huh? Mr Hughes is also a widower! But unlike father, he has never stopped loving his dead wife!", argues Lust.

"Oh please. Who are you to judge, huh?", retorts Selim Pride. Usually, Solaris would punish her younger brother immediately. But instead, she just exits the room. "Don't worry, father. She'll get used to it", interposes Sloth. Ling Greed rolls his eyes. "Excuse me", he mutters before exiting the room, too. Silence. Trisha, who has overheard everything, is thoroughly puzzled at that moment...

OOO

"Are you here to mock me?", hisses Lust, after her brother sat down next to her. She herself is lying on her bed. "Not really." "Good! Because there's something I need to ask you!" "Shoot." "How is it that you didn't say anything, except for your stupid joke?" "I don't care about his love life." "But I thought you loved her, too..." "I did. You see? It doesn't matter who he's shagging -"

"Bloody hell, shut up, Greed!" "Because we both know that nobody can replace mother." Lust is visibly astonished: "Wow..." "What, huh?" "Nothing... It's just that... I'm sort of surprised by your eloquence." "Tcha. Attractiveness and humour aren't my only talents, you know?", retorts Ling Greed with a naughty smirk. "You forgot _silliness_." "Shut up, sis." Lust laughs amusedly...

OOO

"You should ask Rose." Scodran raises an eyebrow. At the moment, he and Kimblee are having dinner in their kitchen. "And you should eat your broccoli", retorts Scar stoically as always. "Oh come on. When was your last rendezvous? Wait, let me guess. That happened at a time when people were wearing harem pants with sequin and shoulder pats, huh?", asks Solf with a mocking smirk.

"Shut up, Kimblee. Besides, what teenager uses the term _rendezvous_ , anyway?", asks Scar sarcastically. "All jokes aside. How is it that a man like you doesn't have a girlfriend?" "Was this supposed to be a compliment?" "Yes. So?" Scar shrugs. "No idea. But I guess, I'm just not that romantic and stuff." "What about a one-night stand, then?", asks Kimblee nonchalantly.

"I can't believe we're actually having this conversation", mutters Scar dryly. "Okay, you know what? _I_ will just invite her", decides Kimblee spontaneously. "No, you won't. I mean, you're not even invited to that party!" "So what? I'll just tell her that you sent me." "Kimblee!" "What?", chuckles Solf. "Fine! You win!", grunts Scar after a while, his voice and look thoroughly annoyed...

OOO

Iceman Isaac McDougal, also known as _Mr_ _Freezing McDougal_ , is a Jewish-Scottish thirty-year-old, whose blue ice cream van is often parking near the school. And since nobody loves ice cream as much as Catherine does, her male best friend Envy decides to buy her and himself an ice cream corn, one day later.

Edward coincidentally witnesses that. And watching Envy licking the scoop, the blond almost loses his mind. Additionally, his manhood starts to harden at that moment. It is only when the taller boy unexpectedly darts a mischievous glance at him, that Edward begins to realise that one of his worst enemies has become active again...

OOO

His merciless enemy continues with the game, when they are later sitting in the classroom: This time, he grabs his ruler, writes Edward's name on it and starts sucking its end slowly and with relish, while giving his enemy a naughty look at the same time. At first, Edward is merely astonished, then furious, then embarrassed, then aroused, then everything at once.

Mr Mustang worsens the situation, all of a sudden: "Mr Elric! Come to the board, please!" Edward almost jumps out of his skin, which causes Envy to compress his lips so that he can prevent himself from bursting into mischievous laughter. Inwardly, the blond instantly starts listing all sorts of chemicals to get rid of his boner...

OOO

"Is there anything else I can do for you?", asks Winry teasingly before wiping the _white juice_ off, that is _sweetening_ her mouth. At the moment, she and Edward are sitting in her parking car. "No...! Thanks...!", pants Ed, while running his fingers through his hair. "Your turn, Winry!" Winry smiles excitedly, not knowing that her seemingly perfect boyfriend has just _mentally_ cheated on her...

OOO

In the evening, Edward, Greed, Lust, Envy and Solf are getting the same text: _"Seventeen is a nice number. It contains all my favourite numbers. But let us rather talk about the five human sacrifices, I have picked: One of them will lose his reputation, another one her child and three murderers will lose their lives. The game begins now and will end when the house is full. Have fun. Kisses, D."_

OOO

One day later, Ling Greed, Roa and their three eighteen-year-old friends meet at the _Devil's Nest_. One of them is a Bulgarian rocker girl whose name is Martel, the other girl is a Persian tomboy by the name of Paninya and then there is that Italian boy named Dolcetto Comanche. Usually a true follower, who is acting rather weird lately. But in fact, all of them are followers.

And their leader and mate is Ling Greed. However, he does not fully trust them yet. Martel is the only one who notices that. But she also notices that something is wrong: "So tell us what it is! We're your army, Greed!" "Well. I'd love to tell you everything. But I'm afraid, I need their permission first", answers Ling Greed relaxedly. "Whose permission?", asks Paninya with a raised eyebrow...

OOO

"Your permission!", answers Ling Greed, when he, Edward, Solaris Lust, Ivan Envy and Kimblee come together in flat 2b, later in the afternoon. "The answer is no!", clarifies the only blond boy amongst them. "Why, huh? We could need some help. And those people are always willing to help their leader", interposes Lust.

Edward shakes his head: "An army isn't the solution! We should rather try to solve that god-damned puzzle before anybody else gets hurt! So, let's see... The number _seventeen_ and the _full house_ might be allusions to the Christmas party! Today's the December 15th! Which means that we don't have much time! But I'm sure can still make it!"

"Sorry, mate. But I'm sure we can't. Because right now, anyone's a potential _human sacrifice_ ", argues Ling Greed. "Actually, no. _D._ gave us a list, according to which not all of us are potential _sacrifices_ ", interposes Kimblee. "Yeah. But you and I definitely belong to the murderer-category", answers Ling Greed.

"But what about the third one? Could _D._ be referring to Gluttony's killer, perhaps?", asks Edward with a pensive mien. "Probably, yes", hisses Lust with a hateful look. "What about the mother who will lose her child?", asks Ling Greed. "Well. The only _mother_ I can think of... Is Trisha...", answers Kimblee with a sceptical look.

Only now does Edward realise: "No...! Alphonse...! I have to send him and mother to San Francisco for a couple of days!" " _Him and mother_? What about yourself?", asks Ling Greed with a confused mien. "I don't care about my own ass!", clarifies the blond with a determined mien. The others answer with astonished looks.

After that, Lust rises to speak: "Perhaps, you two should also disappear for a few days..." "Well. Unfortunately, that won't be possible", answers Kimblee sarcastically. "Okay, you know what? None of us will _disappear_! Because if we really wanna unmask that bastard, who burned down my house and almost killed Lan Fan, we have to stick together!"

"What about Kimblee?", asks Lust as indifferently as possible. "Don't worry. Because I know four people who could babysit him that day", announces Ling Greed relaxedly. "You mean Roa, Dolcetto, Martel and Paninya?", asks Edward. Ling Greed nods. "So what's the plan?", asks the only female next.

"We're gonna find out who these _human sacrifices_ are so we can send them and all of our friends away for a few days!", decides Edward. "But beforehand, we have to do something else!", he adds. "Do _what_?", asks Ling Greed. "We have to destroy _D.'s_ only weapon!", answers the blond. "You mean... Our secrets?", asks Lust hesitatingly.

Edward nods, answering: "Exactly! Because right now, our secrets are preventing us from talking to the police!" "Fair enough. But how are we going to _destroy_ them?", asks Ling Greed with a confused look. "Well. All we have to do is destroy evidence", answers Ed with composure. "Not bad, mate. But unfortunately, you forgot something", begins Ling Greed.

The others answer with quizzical looks which is why Ling Greed just continues: "How are we supposed to send our friends away? We're broke." "What we need is a _bank_ ", interposes Solf. "Are you nuts? We won't rob a bank!", clarifies Edward with clenched fists. "I never said something about robbing, did I?", asks Kimblee with a conspiratorial smirk. The others are confused...

OOO

"A loan?", asks Olivier Mira Armstrong with crossed arms and raised eyebrows. Edward, Ling Greed, Solaris Lust, Ivan Envy and Kimblee, who are still sitting in Scodran Khan's living room, nod silently. "For what?", asks the _Ice Queen_ next. "We have to send some people away for a few days", answers Edward.

"And why is that?", she asks coldly. The other do not answer which is why Ling Greed decides to rise to speak this time: "We will tell you everything. But beforehand, you have to promise that you won't go to the police, no matter what." Olivier does not answer right away. And neither does she look daggers at them...

OOO

"Killjoy", mutters Lan Fan dryly, when she, Winry and Edward are standing in the back courtyard, on Friday. "Lan Fan is right, Ed! I won't leave you alone!" "Yes, you will, Winry! You will go to _Disneyland_ with Hughes and Elicia! And Lan Fan, you will fly to Seattle with May and and Fu!" "What about your own family?", asks Lan Fan.

"Mother and Al are gonna visit our Sensei in San Francisco. With Selim", answers Edward. "And Kain and Catherine...?", asks Winry with a worried look. "Catherine will go to New York. Kain will stay", answers Edward. "But Ed! What about you and -?" "Sorry, Winry, but my decision is ultimate", clarifies her boyfriend. The two girls are speechless...

OOO

In the evening, Trisha, Alphonse, Selim, Fu, Lan Fan, May, Maes, Elicia, Winry and Catherine leave Amestris behind. But Edward, Ling Greed, Solaris Lust and Ivan Envy cannot relax yet. At the moment, they are driving through the woods. But despite the situation, Edward is relieved. "How come?", asks Lust who is secretly driving to that abandoned old house in the middle of nowhere.

"It all happened so fast. But I'm just happy that my family and friends are out of danger", answers Ed, who is sitting in the back seat. "Yes. But it's too bad that we turned Sloth's Christmas party into a school staff meeting. I mean, almost every guest is a teacher", complains Lust, despite her secret excitement. Meanwhile, the radio is playing Lana Del Rey's _God Knows I Tried_...

OOO

Solaris Lust's happiness fades restlessly, when she, Ling Greed, Ivan Envy and Edward later watch the last remnants of Porter Gluttony Bradley burn. Seeing and hearing these hungry flames, she is having a hard time, preventing herself from crying. But in the end, she manages to hold back her tears. _"Farewell, Gluttony..."_ , she murmurs inwardly...

OOO

"Is she okay...?", asks Kimblee, when he and Edward are sitting in his living room again. "Yes..." "Are you sure?" "No..." Silence. "Listen, Kimblee. The others and I had an idea. We all decided to remove our SIM cards. Because that way, _D._ can't text us any more and will probably start writing us mails. And then we can hack the computer."

"All right. But what about tomorrow?" "Tomorrow, we're going to talk to the police and tell them everything. Except for the Gluttony-part, of course." "I see. Where are the others at the moment?" "I don't know, I took a cab. Why?" _"Because I was thinking that Lust might need some company"_ , answers Kimblee inwardly. "No reason", he fibs instead...

OOO

Entering his empty flat and switching the lights on, Edward almost jumps out of his skin when he unexpectedly sees Ivan Envy sitting on the couch. "Envy...! You...? But...!" The shorter boy's body is still shaking. "Damn, you're such a prat. Despite our ruthless stalker, you're hiding the keys under your doormat. How foolish."

"Al did that okay? He doesn't know about _D._ yet!" "That doesn't matter. The point is that I managed to enter your flat." "But you're not welcome!" "Why is that, huh?", asks Envy straightforward. Edward does not answer at first. "Are you really that weak?", asks his enemy mockingly. "I'm not weak!", grunts Ed with clenched fists.

Suddenly, he can see an imagined _angel_ and a _devil_ sitting on his shoulders. " _Don't do it, Edward! He is trying to seduce you!"_ , exclaims the angel. _"Yeah. So? I'm sure Winry wouldn't allow you to sleep with other girls. But Envy is a boy, so!"_ , whispers the devil. _"So what? Cheating is cheating! Edward, you're not strong enough! Your relationship with Winry is too recent!"_ , argues the angel.

The devil laughs mockingly. _"Come on, Edward! Don't listen to that stupid man in the white gown! If you kick Envy out, you'll automatically be on your own tonight! But if you spend the night with him, you'll have a lot of fun! Just stay in the friend zone and you'll be fine! Besides, that way, you can prove that you're strong!"_

The devils chuckles mischievously. _"Or you could just ask him to repeat that ruler-thing. But without the ruler, of course."_ The angel is scandalised. _"No, Edward! You love Winry! Also, you swore to God!"_ The devil snorts with laughter. _"That's hilarious! You don't even believe in God! And hey, you've already been faithful for three weeks! Therefore, God knows you tried!"_

OOO

In the meantime, Roy is getting a phone call. "Mustang?" Silence. But then: _"Good evening, Mr Mustang."_ It is the same technically manipulated voice as usual. "Tell me who you are!" _"Shhh! You don't need to know that! Just keep in mind that I can make all your dreams come true! But at the same time, I could be your worst nightmare! It all depends on you, my dear Mr Mustang!"_

"What are you talking about...?" _"I am talking about King Bradley's throne."_ Roy cannot believe his ears: "How... Do you know -?" _"Not relevant! Now listen to me, Mr Mustang! Mr Bradley has a dark secret. A secret that would ruin him completely. Tonight, his kids have destroyed evidence but unfortunately, I still own one last piece of the puzzle. And I am ready to give you that piece."_

"You're advising me to blackmail my own superior?" _"No, no! You clearly misunderstood! This is not just a piece of advice, this is an order! However, you do have another option. You are free to save the Bradley family. But in that case, I will find myself constrained to tell him about his daughter's affair with her teacher."_ "You bastard!", grunts Roy through gritted teeth.

" _Shhh. Contain yourself, my dear Mr Mustang. Because tomorrow night you will have to come to a decision. Preferably before the clock strikes midnight, I want to know your answer. Otherwise, I myself will choose one. Do you understand?"_ Deafening silence. "Understood..." _"Very well. Goodnight, Mr Mustang."_ Roy is speechless and motionless. Consequently, he forgets to hang up...

OOO

After having thrown the mobile phone into one of the bins in front of the _Leto Church_ , _D._ heads for the entrance. Father Hohenheim, who has just returned from his journey, is lighting up some candles at the moment. "Would you look at that. After all these years, they've finally released you", chuckles Father quietly.

 _D._ does not answer. Instead, _it_ just breathes hard. But Father is not intimidated at all. "Well. Please, don't get me wrong. But truth be told, I was hoping that somebody would have unmasked you by now. I wish, I would have known earlier about that. Looks like, I should have returned a few days later. It's such a shame." Deafening silence.

Father Hohenheims sighs theatrically. "Oh my. I did horrible things to you. And frankly, I was enjoying every second of it. But let's be honest – you didn't deserve it. Losing one's family is one of God's most cruel tests. Therefore, your failure is more than understandable. But you know what, my dear child? God knows you tried!"


	22. Cruel World

**Disclaimer: I don't own the mentioned brand names, the song titles and I also don't own Fullmetal Alchemist (c'est dommage...)!**

 **Information:**

Before we move to the real story, I want to explain a few things ahead, that don't need to be necessarily read but I personally feel like they could be sort of important to the readers.

Content: Potentially disturbing lemons and situations in general. Two flashbacks are also part of this chapter.

Character: Always keep in mind that some of the characters just have to be created in an OOC-way. At least temporarily.

Allusion: Remember how Brotherhood-Ed, Scar and Riza try to prevent Roy Mustang from killing Envy so he won't turn into a monster? Good (;

Note/Message: Thank you so much for your encouraging feedback as well as your favs and follows! I'm beyond flattered! And to prove how touched I am, I decided to dedicate the following chapters to you. So whenever I think that a particular chapter might be to your liking, I'll mention your name (:

Everything is said for now, so let's move to the story!

 **Thor94**

 **\- Chapter 22: Cruel World -**

 _Amestris, December 2013_

,,Always keep in mind, Envy! Sex is about control!" Nobody is home. Except for Greed, who is holding a whip in his hand, and Envy, whose hands are chained up above his head. Envy nods silently. ,,Stop nodding, you bastard! Open your fucking mouth and talk to me appropriately! It's _Master Greed_! Understood?"

,,Yes, Master Greed!", hisses Envy, after Greed has whipped him. ,,Good boy. So tell me. How long have you secretly been watching Lust touching her pussy, huh?" ,,For one year!" ,, _Naughty boy_ ", whispers Greed with a vicious smirk, before whipping him again. ,,And you were touching yourself while watching her, weren't you?" ,,Yes, Master Greed!" Another whip...

OOO-OOO

 _Amestris, December 2016_

They had watched a film about alchemy in the living room, before Envy has fallen asleep on the couch. Hesitatingly, Ed, who is wearing his boxer shorts and a red T-shirt, gets up from his arm chair and tiptoes towards the couch. Envy is wearing nothing more than his boxer shorts and the upper garment of his lacrosse uniform.

His arms are crossed behind his neck, his right leg outstretched horizontally and the left one vertically leaned against the backrest. Ed catches himself staring at Envy's tattoo. Slowly, he extends his arm in order to touch it, to touch _him_. However, Ed suddenly stops part-way and quickly retracts his arm. _,,No! Don't touch him!"_

All of a sudden, Envy changes his sleeping position. While doing so, he _accidentally_ brushes Ed's crotch with his hand. Just in time, Ed compresses his lips in order to suppress a moan. _,,Enough!"_ , decides Ed and heads for the bathroom _._

Within seconds, he takes down his boxer shorts and is just about to start, when he suddenly can feel a cold hand on his pelvis. Ed startles. ,,Shhh! I know you were watching me. And now you'll get punished for that", whispers Envy into his ear. Ed widens his eyes.

Envy smirks conspiratorially, before abruptly grasping Ed's chin and _invading_ his mouth with his tongue. As if by magic, Ed opens his mouth and returns the ardent French kiss. At first hesitatingly but then Ed gives in to him restlessly.

Only a few seconds later, Envy suddenly grasps his enemy's wrists and handcuffs him. ,, _You!_ ", hisses Ed with a furious look. Envy chuckles mischievously before grasping Ed's upper arm and dragging him along the floor by the short chain between the handcuffs. Edward struggles and insults his enemy but Envy just ignores him.

A few steps from the bathroom door, Envy chucks his enemy's body to the cold, tiled ground like he was worthless. In a split second, Envy picks up the whip, he has been hiding in the shower for hours. ,,On your knees!", he commands coldly. ,,Fuck you, Envy!"

One second later, Ed's bottom gets whipped. ,,You naughty boy! On your knees!", hisses Envy with a vicious smirk. Ed grunts with rage but yet, he obeys for some reason. Envy crouches down so he can tie Ed's already handcuffed wrists up to the door handle with a rope this time, before bonding together Ed's ankles, too.

,,What the hell are you doing? I'm not your fucking sex slave, Envy!" Instead of answering him directly, Envy first pulls his hair so rigorously, that Ed is forced to look up to the ceiling. But then he whispers the following words into the shorter one's ear: ,,Yes, you are my sex slave! Sex is about control! And I for one have total control over you! Especially since that Halloween!"

Ed cannot believe his own ears: ,,You were...!" ,,The _White Rabbit_? Oh yes! I was the one who dominated and fucked you that night...!" Hearing those words, Ed instantly tries to turn around so he can punch Envy but the door handle, his hands are tied up to, is stable and the door itself locked. Edward is forced to kneel infront of the bathroom door, his arms are lifted upwards.

Envy, who is kneeling behind him, grasps Ed's T-shirt, abruptly rips it up and grabs one scrap of red fabric to blindfold him. Edward is fully naked now and cannot see anything. ,,You're such a sadistic monster, Envy!" ,,I know!", chuckles Envy.

While scratching Ed's flawless abdominal skin, he whispers the following words into Ed's ear: ,,But that you still want to get fucked by me, proves that you are a _naughty boy_ who deserves to be punished...!" And just like that, Envy whips his enemy's back a few times. Ed compresses his lips to suppress a scream. However, he does not know yet, what sort of scream.

Meanwhile, hot blood is dropping from Ed's back. Without hesitation, Envy slides his slim tongue all over his enemy's bleeding back to lick it off ardently. Then, he stretches his neck so he can lick Ed's Adam's apple and his lips, before biting them. Simultaneously, he touches Ed's abdomen with one hand and takes down his own boxer shorts with his other hand.

,,I love it when you try to suppress your screams as if you had no pain", whispers Envy and bites his enemy's neck this time so that it starts bleeding. ,,But I know that it hurts. Because you're vulnerable and weak. And yet so _deliciously_ irresistible", moans Envy and licks the blood off his neck this time.

Suddenly, Envy harshly _invades_ his _back entrance_ inch by inch. _,,No! Don't moan! Don't let Envy win!"_ , pants Ed inwardly. However, his own hardening manhood betrays Ed. ,,I knew it. You love it, don't you?", chuckles Envy while penetrating him rapidly and ruthlessly. ,,You worthless, little slut", moans Envy before abruptly pulling Ed's hair. Once again, Ed is forced to look up. To face the monster.

,,Oh yes! Let me see that plaintive look of yours!", hisses Envy and speeds up. ,,You can't break me, Envy!", hisses Ed with gritted teeth. ,,Yes, I can! But I don't want to break you! I love your fire! Like I said! Taming victims is pathetic! Taming hotheads like you, however, is a pleasure!" ,,But you can't tame me, bastard!", hisses Ed.

,,Yes, I can!", moans Envy and starts touching Ed's groin with his left hand while he is still pulling his hair with his right hand. However, he does not touch Ed's erection. The stimulation of his gluteal area, Envy's hands and tongue are too much for him: Ed cannot hold back another moan. ,,Damnit!", he curses right after his little _faux pas_.

,,See? I told you", moans Envy and speeds up again. ,,Shut up and touch it already!", commands Ed. Envy theatrically shakes his head. ,,I don't like your tone. If you want something, you have to _beg_ for it!" ,,Never!" ,,Beg for it and I'll wank you off like I did in the woods and in the library", moans Envy who is still penetrating him violently and touching his groin skilfully.

,,Fuck you, bastard!" ,,Oh? So you rather want me to hurt your body instead of your precious pride, huh?" ,,Yes...!", moans Ed in a whisper. ,,Fine!", chuckles Envy before he suddenly bangs Ed's head on the door. Edward screams with pain, but simultaneously, a white bead leaks out of his manhood. Like most of the time, Envy cannot resist the urge to lick the blood off his forehead.

Inhaling Envy's scent, Ed almost forgets the pain. But it is only when Envy, who has stretched his agile neck, slides his tongue over his scratched chest, that Ed forgets the pain completely. Another white bead leaks out of his erection and yet, Ed stays strong. He does moan as an answer to those touches and thrusts, however he solely begs inwardly: _,,Come on! Just touch me! Please, Envy!"_

,,I can't hear you", moans Envy mockingly, as if he could read Ed's mind, and bites his chin this time. Ed stubbornly compresses his lips. ,,All right. You've got one last chance to beg for it!" ,,Or what, huh?" moans Ed with a provoking mien. Instead of answering him verbally, Envy just whips a knife out and holds it to his enemy's flawless thigh.

,,I can either touch your throbbing chopper or tattoo your leg. A swastika would look nice on you. But it's your choice." ,,You goddamned monster!" ,,I love it when you call me that!" ,,And I love -" Ed gulps. ,,I hate you!", he then hisses. ,,Okay. The tattoo then", decides Envy and is just about to stab out when Ed suddenly shouts: ,,NO! I'M BEGGING YOU! TOUCH MY BONER!"

Envy smirks triumphantly. ,,As you wish", he then whispers into his ear before speeding up and touching Ed's manhood savagely. Both of them moan, curse and salivate uncontrolledly. Their knees are rubbing against the hard floor and almost bleeding.

,,You naughty fuck toy", moans Envy. Just when Ed is about to insult him too, Envy abruptly _invades_ his mouth again and bites his tongue. Ed screams with pain and pleasure at the same time. Especially when Envy starts sucking up his bleeding tongue. Ed rolls his eyes with relish before he finally ejaculates while moaning his favourite words: ,, _Fuuuck, damnit_!"

OOO-OOO

 _Amestris, December 2013_

Envy, whose upper boddy is naked, lies prone. ,,Poor boy. Our brother can be so cruel at times", pouts Lust jokingly before sitting down on her brother's back and starting to clean his wounds. ,,I bet you wish that he whipped you instead of me, huh?", hisses Envy with a hateful mien.

,,Oh come on. You don't need to be jealous. You are my favourite brother." ,,You know, why he did this, don't you?" ,,Yes, I do." ,,But... You don't seem to be upset..." Lust smirks conspiratorially. ,,Because I'm not upset at all. I'm rather flattered. You're a quite handsome fourteen-year-old."

All of a sudden, she starts licking his wounds before abruptly rolling him over, so that he is lying on the back now. ,,Are you attracted to me or just interested in sex?" ,,The latter..." ,,Good. If so, I'll help you. But _just this once_! Understood?" ,,Understood", whispers Envy with a triumphant smirk...

OOO-OOO

 _Amestris, December 2016_

On Saturday, Edward starts from his sleep. He breathes hard. Seeing the numerous wounds on his hands and legs, he furiously realises, that everything that happened last night, was real. ,,Fuck, damnit! What have I done? What...?" Suddenly, he gets a text. A text with an attachment...

OOO

,,What the hell is that?", asks Ed angrily. Right now, he and Kimblee are standing in flat 2b's corridor. ,,Apparently, that's a picture of Gluttony's adoption documents." ,,In other words – we can't go to the police!", grunts Ed with clenched fists. ,,Yes. But that's not the main highlight", announces Kimblee unemotionally.

,,Then what is the main highlight?", asks Ed impatiently. ,,According to the news, Father Hohenheim has returned last night", begins Kimblee. ,,Finally! I'm already on my way!", exults Ed. ,,Well. I'm afraid, that won't be possible." ,,Well... He got sort of..."

OOO

,,Killed?", asks Ling Greed, who is driving the car, with an uncharacteristically puzzled look. Ed, who is sitting in the passenger seat, nods silently. ,,Blow. Now what?", asks Ling Greed next. ,,I don't know..." ,,Well. The good news is that one of those _human sacrifices_ can be crossed off the list." ,,Thanks for your sympathy", hisses Ed sarcastically.

,,Oh, come on. I know he was your uncle but you've never even talked to him once and yet you're sad about his death?" ,, _D._ took someone's life! A _human's_ life! It doesn't matter whether he was my uncle or not!" ,,Okay, okay", mutters Ling Greed. He couldn't sound more indifferent. ,,Can we discuss our next steps now or are you still not in the mood for that?"

,,Shoot!", snorts Ed. ,,Thank you, but no thanks. I prefer to leave the clever ideas to you and Kimblee, and the evil plans to Envy. Well. And Kimblee." ,,But I don't have any idea!" ,,If so, I'll inform the others. We'll meet at Kimblee's place."

,,The others...?" ,,Yeah. Lust and Envy." Ed gulps. ,,You know what, Greed? You guys will be fine without me! I have somewhere else to go!" ,,Oh. Are we getting cold feet or something?" ,,No, asshole!", hisses Ed. Ling Greed just raises an eyebrow.

OOO

,,Now is not a good time...!", mutters Roy, whose breath smells of _Stray Dog-_ Scotch. ,,What happened? You look like a hobo-version of Roy Mustang", remarks Edward nonchalantly, yet with a worried look.

,,I don't mean to be rude but like I said, now is not a good time", repeats Roy and is just about to close the door when Edward stops it with his foot. His determined look signalises Roy that any further discussion would be pointless. ,,Damnit. You're a pain in the ass, _Fullmetal_." Ed answers with a bold grin.

OOO

,,A secret? What kind of secret?", asks Ed with a puzzled look ,,Something about my past." Ed answers with a sceptical look. And just like that, he solves the riddle: ,,Liar! You slept with Lust, didn't you? And now _D._ is using that to blackmail you!"

Roy cannot believe his ears: ,,Wow, wait a sec! I never mentioned that initial!" Abandoning himself to an impulse, he suddenly seizes Ed by the collar, hissing: ,,You sent those text, am I right?" ,,Hey, stop talking shit, pervert! I'm one of his or her victims, too! Got it?" Roy answers with an astonished look.

After Ed has sat down, he starts boasting: ,,I knew you would give in sooner or later!" ,,Of course, and you are perfect, huh?" That it home which is why Ed stops smirking all of a sudden ,,Tell me everything, Edward...!" ,, _Edward_? Seriously?" ,,Fine. Tell me everything, _Fullmetal_!" Ed does not answer right away.

OOO

A few minutes later, however, Roy knows everything. ,,You foolish boy. You should have told me earlier about this." ,,Oh come on, you're as powerless as we are!" ,,Yes, because now that person has something on me!" ,,Hey, I warned you! But you rather listened to your -!" ,,Hush! I can't hear myself think!" ,,Yeah, but that's not my fault!"

But Roy does not even listen to him: ,,Hey, show me that text about the sacrifices again!" ,,Okay, why not", grunts Ed and hands his smartphone over to him. ,,Great." ,,What is it, _Playroy_?" ,,Well. Apparently, I'm one of those _human sacrifices_." ,,Damnit, you're right! You're the one who will lose his reputation!" ,,Precisely. Unless..."

Ed is visibly scandalised: ,,No way! You're not going to save your own ass!" ,,Why not? These people are murderers!" ,,So what? You are a pedophile!" ,,Solaris is officially an adult!" ,,That's not the point, okay? Selim killed Gluttony! Not King Bradley! He is just trying to protect his child! But you? You're merely concerned about your own ass!"

With a greedy look, that is not quite typical of him, Roy retorts: ,,Hey! We're talking about an _ass_ that would definitely become _friends_ with the headmaster's throne!" Ed can't believe his own ears: ,,Are you nuts? You can't be the leader of our school!" ,,Is that so?"

,,Of course, bastard! I mean, first you screw a student and then you plan on putting her father behind bars! Not even Olivier is going to use that secret on them!" ,,Yes, because her brother is going to marry a Bradley! Besides, Olivier's job is not on the line!" ,,Yeah, because unlike you, she didn't have sex with a student!" ,,Okay, you know what? I won't discuss my decisions with a child!"

Ed answers with a puzzled look. But suddenly, he bursts into mocking laughter. ,,That's hilarious! Because that's what I used to say to my brother whenever I ran out of arguments!" ,,Enough!" Intuitively, Ed obeys. ,,Like I said, the discussion is over! Thus, you're free to go!" ,,But -!" ,,Now, Edward Elric!" Ed is speechless.

But eventually, he gets up and heads for the door. ,,One more thing, _Mustang_! If you decide to do what's easy instead of what's right, I will _never_ forgive you!" Roy answers with an astonished look. A few seconds later, Ed slams the door shut...

OOO

Nobody organises better events than Juliet Sloth Bradley. Because nobody has a better system than her. First of all, she prepares a guest list. Juliet Sloth is well informed of her guest's allergies, eating habits, appointments and ambitions. According to those, she picks a date, a location, a theme, a menu and music.

Then she asks Solaris to design invitation cards. These will be sent three weeks before the party. Two weeks later, the guests have to decide whether they plan on coming. The last week before the party is the most stressful one: Food has to be ordered, decoration articles have to be bought, furnitures have to be borrowed and thank-you cards for the day after the event have to be written.

OOO

This party's speciality is a game. The rules are simple: The Christmas tree has been decorated with non-transparent and transparent Christmas glitter balls. The non-transparent ones are not relevant. However, inside the transparent ones, one can find pieces of paper with names written down on them. Each guest has to pick one of those balls and must gift the person whose name is written in it.

OOO

,,I just hope that _D._ won't pick the ball with my name", whispers Lust with an annoyed look. ,,Unfortunately, _D._ doesn't need a plastic ball to gift us", answers Ed sarcastically. Right now, they are standing in the full living room. ,,But hey, Lust! There is something I need to tell you!" ,,What is it, Edward?" ,,Well. I know about you and _Playroy Mustard._ " Lust answers with a shocked look.

,,Who told you -?" ,,That doesn't matter, okay? Because the main problem is that I'm not the only one!" ,,Oh my God... _D._ found out...?" ,,Yes! And now either your lover or your father has to pay the price...!" Lust can't believe her ears: ,,Idiot! Why haven't you warned me about that?" Ed doesnt' know what to answer. ,,I have to find him!", decides Lust and hastens away.

OOO

Meanwhile, Olivier and Riza are picking non-transparent Christmas glitter balls. ,,Great", mutters Riza. ,,What is it? Did you draw me?", asks Olivier sarcastically. ,,No... Juliet Sloth Bradley...", answers Riza who is clearly not very happy about that. ,,Poor girl", remarks Olivier dryly.

,,That might sound pathetic, but would you mind giving me a tip?", asks Riza sheepishly. ,,Well. Frankly, I need your help, too. Because I have to gift my foe", grunts Olivier. ,,You mean... Roy Mustang?" ,,Yes." ,,Sorry to say but I don't know him." ,,Yes. But you own a gun, don't you?", asks Olivier sarcastically. Riza answers with amused laughter. And just like that, a friendship is born...

OOO

,,So? Who's the lucky one?", asks Roy when he meets Kain Fuery infront of the Christmas tree. ,,Um... Solaris Bradley...", murmurs Kain sheepishly. Roy discreetly flinches. But then, he quickly changes the subject: ,,Well. I have to gift your stepsister which is why I wanted to ask for tips." ,,Her favourite dessert. Chocolate fruits." ,, _Chocolate fruits_?" ,,Trust me, Mr Mustang."

Roy answers with a playful smirk when he suddenly gets a text: _,,Meet me upstairs. S.L.B."_ Roy discreetly sighs with relief. ,,I have to go. But thanks for the tip, Kain." Kain nods silently and adjusts his nerd glasses.

OOO

Entering Lust's room, Roy is surprised to see her in her underwear. ,,Lock the door", she whispers with a teasing smirk. ,,Solaris, please. Everyone is downstairs. Including your family, my superior and my workmates."

Lust pouts jokingly: ,,Okay, fine. What about a kiss then?" Roy does not answer. Instead he just seizes her by the collar and starts kissing her ardently. Blinded by his _lustfulness_ , he does not notice at all that she is cautiously taking his mobile phone...

OOO

,,Wait a sec! You locked the door so he can't escape?", asks Ed with a puzzled look. ,,Exactly", answers Lust with a triumphant smirk before handing Roy's smartphone over to Ed. ,,Wow. Not bad, Bradley", remarks Ed dryly.

,,Thanks, darling. And now excuse me please because I have to shatter something", announces Lust in a thoroughly calm tone and with an angelic smile. ,,Sure...", murmurs Edward with a rather confused look.

OOO

,,Damnit!", curses Roy shortly before midnight. He is locked up for hours now. But all of a sudden, he can hear something. That noise comes from the keyhole. ,,Solaris...?" Silence. Hesitatingly, Roy heads for the door and tries to open it. With success. However, he can't see anybody in the corridor, after he has exited the room...

OOO

Meanwhile, Lust watches Rebecca flirting with Jean in the distance. ,,You can't be serious", hisses Envy who has finally solved the riddle. ,,No idea, what you're talking about", fibs Lust. ,,I'm talking about the Lolita and her teacher", answers Envy in a whisper. Lust does not know what to answer.

Then, all of a sudden, all lights go out. The guests murmur criss-cross. Suddenly, a video pops up on the wall, after one of the guests has discreetly activated a slide projector. The video shows Lust. She is standing in one of the offices at school and taking off her clothes. _,,I'm afraid, we have to do it quickly. I hope, you don't mind?"_ When Jean suddenly appears, every guest exhales with shock...

OOO

Jean Havoc and Solaris Lust, who had somehow escaped before the lights went on, have not been seen anywhere for almost a day. They even spent the night somewhere else in order to avoid everyone. But not together.

,,Two _human sacrifices_ crossed off the list. Three of them remain", summarises Kimblee when he and Ed are sitting in flat 2b's living room, in the afternoon. Ed is more than confused: ,,But that doesn't make sense! I thought, _D._ was going to end that game last night?" ,,Well. Perhaps _D._ just hasn't finished it yet because the other sacrifices are out of town."

,,No, that's not it! I'm sure, we just misinterpreted the last text! What did it say again...? _'Seventeen is a nice number. It contains all my favourite numbers...'_ And then... _'The game begins now and will end when the house is full...'_ We got that message on December 14th but what the hell is that person referring to...?"

,,I don't know. Sloth's New Year's Eve party, perhaps?", speculates Kimblee. ,,To be honest, I can't imagine that Sloth will ever throw a party again", answers Edward sarcastically. ,,Besides, where is the connection -?" Ed abruptly falls silent.

Because suddenly, he solves the riddle: ,,Damnit! Kimblee, you're right! _D._ is indeed referring to that party!" ,,How do you know that, huh?", asks Kimblee with composure. ,,Think about it! We got that message on December 14th which means we got it seventeen days before New Year's Eve!" ,,Uh-huh. Interesting. And I thought, that number would merely be an allusion to 20 _17_."

Ed answers with a sheepish look. ,,Um... Well... That's just another possibility, I guess..." ,,Of course", replies Kimblee sarcastically. ,,Whatever, okay? Just tell the others what we found out!", grunts Ed. ,,As you wish." ,,Cool! Now we have to figure something out! A strategy to unmask _D._ before the other _human sacrifices_ get hurt! Come on, Kimblee! Use your savvy!"

,,Well...", begins Kimblee. ,,Yes?", asks Ed excitedly. ,,Forget it, that's a stupid idea." ,,No, no! Just tell me what it is! Then I can decide whether your idea is stupid or not!" ,,Fine. I was just thinking that a police dog is living in our building." ,,You mean... Black Hayate?" ,,Yes." ,,Well. The idea itself is actually good. However, we don't own anything that has been touched by him or her...!"

,,What about the photograph album?" ,,Damnit! I trashed it!" ,,Great." ,,But maybe... Maybe one of us will get a gift by _D._ soon! The Christmas glitter balls!" ,,Oh come on. Not even _D._ is capable of tricksing _Fortuna_." ,,You never know", retorts Ed with a conspiratorial smirk.

,,Okay, fine. But there's another problem. Everyone will return home before Christmas. And we can't just ask Olivier to buy them new tickets." ,,But we can do something else! Only three people are in danger, you included! We just have to protect you and the other two, that's all!" ,,But we don't even know who the third person is!"

,,Yes, we do! _D._ said something about a mother who will lose her child, so therefore, it's either Alphonse or me!" ,,Are you sure? Because another possibility would be that _D._ is not talking about a biological child." ,,Are... You referring to Rose Thomas...?" ,,Well. That would be one option. Another one would be Selim Pride. Or perhaps even a pregnant woman."

,,Okay, enough! I need the guest list!" ,,You won't get it. Juliet Sloth takes her events too seriously." ,,If so, I'll just tell her the truth! And I'll also talk to Mr Bradley!" ,,What the bloody hell? That's insane." ,,No, it's not! We should have told them about the _human sacrifices_! And that's exactly what I'm going to do!", decides Ed...

OOO

King Wrath and Juliet Sloth are speechless after Edward have told them everything. Ling Greed and Envy, who are also sitting in their living room, are rather astonished by their partner's decision. However, there is one thing, Ed has lied about: He hasn't mentioned Roy's name at all.

,,Mr Havoc could have saved his own ass! Instead, he decided to protect you and your family! Thus, you can't just fire him! Please, Mr Bradley!" ,,Don't get me wrong, Edward. But right now we have other problems than that", answers Juliet Sloth coldly.

,,Juliet, tell your guests that the party won't take place." ,,All right, father." ,,No, wait! You can't do that!", intervenes Ed. The others answer with confused looks, which is why Ed continues: ,, _D._ doesn't know that you're informed, too! That's an advantage!"

,,Why would that change anything?", asks King with a raised brow. ,,Think about it! So far, _D._ hasn't sent you one single text, Mr Bradley!" ,,Perhaps _D._ just doesn't have my number", retorts King nonchalantly. ,,Either that or _D._ just didn't want you to know that he or she killed Father Hohenheim", argues Ed.

Sloth, Greed and Envy answer with astonished looks. However, Wrath suddenly decides: ,,All right, that's enough, Edward." ,,What...? But Mr. Bradley -!" ,,I really appreciate that you told us the truth but today is certainly not the day to discuss these things. My daughter is missing, as you know." Ed answers with a puzzled look. He does not dare to contradict...

OOO

Next day, however, he picks up where he left off. He does not even knock on Headmaster Bradley's door. Instead, he just barges in, announcing: ,,We need to talk!" ,,Mr Elric! It's quite impolite to -!" ,,I don't care, okay? I know that you know _something_! You can either talk to me or to the police! It's your choice, Mr. Bradley!"

At that moment, King is quite intimidated by Ed's words and determined look. ,,Fine. You won. Close the door." Ed nods before kicking the door shut. Mr Bradley shakes his head. But then: ,,Listen, Edward. The reason why I ended that discussion yesterday..."

King clears his throat. ,,As you know, I'm not my children's biological father. Apart from Juliet, who is blood-related to us." ,,Okay... But the others are Mrs. Bradley's biological children, aren't they?" Deafening silence. ,,Mr. Bradley...!"

,,I know, Edward. Lying to them is a horrible thing to do. But back then, it just made perfect sense. That way, they've grown up as half-siblings with a biological mother in their house..." Ed gulps. ,,I see... Father Hohenheim found those kids... Right...?" ,,Yes... All of them are half-orphans. Their fathers are in prison, their mothers dead."

And all of a sudden, Ed solves the riddle: ,,Oh my God...!" ,,What is it, Edward?" Ed does not answer right away. But then: ,,Nothing! Thank you very much, Mr Bradley! And don't worry, your secret is safe!" Before King has the chance to ask further questions, Ed hastens away.

OOO

,,Okay, let me get this right. Those siblings have different fathers and mothers and now you think that one of their fathers could be _D._?", asks Kimblee with a puzzled look that doesn't match his unsentimental tone. Right now, they are standing infront of the school building.

Ed nods hysterically: ,,Exactly! And if you ask me, that person is either Envy's or Selim's father! Because we know for sure that _D._ is a guest on every party and those men are younger than thirty!" ,,But for all I know, Envy's father is Russian and Selim's Turkish." ,,Nationalities can be faked easily! Let's rather focus on their outward-appearances!"

,,That's pointless. Envy is blond by nature and Selim has black hair. Thus, it could be anybody." ,,Not really! Havoc and Armstrong have sisters who would have noticed it if their brothers had been prisoners!" ,,What about Mustang?" ,,What... About him?" ,,Well. He and Selim do look alike, don't they?" ,,No, they don't, okay? Besides, Mustang is also one of the victims, so." ,,Since when?"

When Ed realises that he has just accidentally said too much, he instantly slaps himself. ,,Wait, let me guess. Lust seduced him to take revenge on her other teacher, huh?" Ed doesn't answer verbally. Instead he just nods silently. ,,Good." ,, _Good_? Why is that _good_?" ,,Because now we can be sure that Roy isn't the person we are looking for", answers Kimblee nonchalantly.

,,Uh... Right... So, who else could it be?" ,,I don't know. What about Maes Hughes?" ,,Nonsense! Hughes has a family!" ,,So what? His wife is dead. Maybe he killed her because she'd found out that -" ,,No, that's impossible! He is in _Disneyland_! And that means, that the only person who is fulfilling the conditions is...!"

,,Forget it!" ,,But Kimblee -!" ,,No, Edward Elric. Trust me. _He_ isn't the culprit." ,,Hey, Kimblee! I know that he's your friend but do you also remember how you two became friends?" ,,Of course. He accommodated me." ,,Right...! And you've never understood, why!" ,,He's generous, that's all."

,,Get real, Kimblee! You attacked his best friend!" ,,That happened a long time ago. Scar is over it." ,, _D._ has never contacted one of the adults, except for Scar!" ,, _D._ did contact Mustang." ,,That wasn't the same!" For the first time, Kimblee raises his voice: ,,Enough!"

Edward abruptly falls silent. ,,Enough...", repeats Kimblee softly before suddenly going away. Edward does not follow him. Instead he decides to listen to Lana Del Rey's _Cruel World_ on his Ipod...

 **Thank you so much for reading and also for reviewing! Your lovely comments make me smile like crazy (:**

 **For the rest: Next chapter will be named after Lana's song _Religion_**

 **Kisses, PinkChocolateGlitter (;**


	23. Religion

**Disclaimer: I don't own the mentioned brand names, the song titles and I also don't own Fullmetal Alchemist (c'est dommage...)!**

 **Information:**

Before we move to the real story, I want to explain a few things ahead, that don't need to be necessarily read but I personally feel like they could be sort of important to the readers.

Content: Father Hohenheim's death will be relevant again. And you will also learn why the Bradley kids have those uroboros tattoos. Other than that, be prepared for disturbing situations as well as the answer to the question whether Winry is pregnant or not (:

Character: The _Special Guest Stars_ are the bald-headed and bespectacled radio announcer in the later episodes (Brotherhood), Doctor Knox and the Gold-Toothed Doctor ;D

Allusion: Remember how Brotherhood-Jean lost his job because of a woman? And Brotherhood-Ed's scar on the forehead? Good.

Everything is said for now, so let's move to the story!

 **Anim Animaniac**

 **\- Chapter 23: Religion -**

 _ **200 Days left until the secret wedding**_

A couple of weeks ago, Amestris has started to turn into a gigantic snow globe: The exterior walls of buildings and houses as well as their interiors, vitrines, balconies or gardens are decorated with plastic reindeers, artificial snow, fairy lights and Christmas trees.

Olivier hates Christmas. However, she loves the winter, it is her favourite season, especially when it snows. Selim Pride, on the other hand, is not really a fan of that season. But he does love Christmas, probably more than anybody else...

OOO

,,When I was younger, decorating our house for Christmas has been a ritual. Nobody was allowed to help, that was my and my mother's job only", explains Pride while he and Trisha are decorating the rest of the Bradley house. It is Tuesday and Winry and all the others except for Fu, Lan Fan and May have returned in the morning.

,,Therefore, you should regard your participation as an honour!", adds Pride, who is wearing a red beanie with a white pompom. However, Trisha's only accessory is her angelic smile. ,,Of course, sweetheart." ,,Good", answers Pride in a patronising tone.

Suddenly they get interrupted by Ling Greed who has just taken a picture of his youngest brother. ,,Very nice. I'm sure, Elicia will be very amused to see that. Wearing that beanie, you actually look like a likeable child for the first time."

,,I'm warning you Greed!", hisses Pride with gritted teeth. Trisha chuckles softly. ,,Ling Greed, please. Your brother doesn't want to be seen with that beanie." ,,In other words – delete that picture or I will kill you!", grunts Selim. Ling Greed rolls his eyes. ,,Killjoys", he then mutters dryly. Once again, Trisha chuckles softly.

However, she abruptly falls silent when she coincidentally catches a glimpse of Father Hohenheim's picture on television. Right now, a bald-headed and bespectacled man is speaking about the incidence: _,,The church community is still shocked by the happenings. The police is still investigating but to no avail yet. Currently, they are speculating about a possible connection between this murder and the two other murders that happened seven years ago, when a mentally unstable and unidentified patient from the psychiatry murdered a nurse and another patient."_

OOO

,,You haven't told Winry about Lust and Havoc yet?", asks Edward with a puzzled look. Right now, Ed is sitting in Roy's living room, after he has given him his mobile phone. ,,I couldn't...", murmurs Roy. ,,Why not...?" ,,Jean only got attacked because of my decision..." ,,Wait a sec! Does that mean you were -?"

,,Ready to _sacrifice_ my job? Yes. _D._ called me that night. I clarified that I wouldn't do it and hung up. It had happened before Lust and I met in her room." Only now, Ed notices Roy's newest text. ,, _D._ sent you a message!" ,,When...?" ,,On Sunday!" ,,Wow, wait. You haven't read my messages yet?", asks Roy with a surprised look.

,,Hey, I'm not an asshole, okay?" ,,Okay, okay." ,,Come on, read it!" Roy rolls his eyes. Yet he obeys: _,,You shouldn't have said no to me. And just so you know – I merely unlocked that door because I wanted to see your face when I ruin your best friend's life! Have a nice (Madame) Christmas! Kisses, D."_

,, _Madame Christmas_?", asks Ed with a confused look. ,,Yes. My foster-mother, Chris Mustang. But everyone calls her _Madame Christmas_." ,,You... Haven't mentioned her before..." ,,Because I never mention her. But _D._ has probably read my mails."

,,What an asshole!" ,,Yes." ,,Hey, _Mustard_...!" ,,What is it, _Fullmetal_?" ,,Nothing... I'm just glad that you made the right decision... And..." ,,Yes...?" ,,I will make it up to you and Havoc!" ,,Why is that? What happened, isn't your fault!" ,,Yes, it is! But it will never happen again! I promise...!"

OOO

,,You seriously puked all over _Mickey Mouse's_ shoes? That's the funniest thing, I've ever heard", remarks Doctor Knox dryly. ,,Actually... It's rather awkward", answers Winry with blushed cheeks. ,,Yeah. It certainly is. But whatever. Was it the first time?"

,,No, Sir. It happens occasionally. Since November, I think." ,,Have you changed your dietary perhaps?" ,,No, Sir. Nothing like that." ,,All right. My next question is a little personal but have you recently slept with a man without using a condom?"

Winry cannot believe her ears: ,,Oh my God...! Are you saying that I might be...?" ,,Pregnant? Indeed, young Lady." ,,But...! No...! That's impossible...!" ,,Sorry to say, but it's not. Come on, let's find ou whether you're a mother-to-be or not", decides Knox sarcastically. Winry is speechless...

OOO

In the meantime, Kimblee is sitting in his own room when the doorbell suddenly rings. ,,Miss Catalina?", he asks a few seconds later. ,,Solf, hi! Is your flatmate home?" ,,Nope. But perhaps I can help you", he offers with a naughty smirk. ,,Actually, you can! Here's my gift for him!" ,,Your...? Uh, right. The Christmas tree balls."

,,Exactly. I just hope that he'll like what I bought him." ,,I'm sure, he will." ,,Thanks. But hey – which flat is Rose's again?" ,, _That_ one", answers Kimblee and points a finger at Rose's door. ,,I didn't know, that you two were friends." ,,We're not. Well, at least not yet. But Alex Armstrong gave me the gift, he had bought for her, so", explains Rebecca.

OOO

A few seconds later, she is having a conversation with Rose. ,,Alex Armstrong had to buy that gift? Good, if so, I'll send him a thank-you card. Even though he didn't do that of his own free will", chuckles Rose. ,,Trust me, he did!", giggles Rebecca.

Rose chuckles softly. ,,I'm just glad that I picked the ball with my mother's name because I barely know you and your friends." ,,Well, Rose. Perhaps we could change that", retorts Rebecca with a cheeky smirk. Rose answers with an angelic smile.

OOO

In the evening, it is Kain Fuery's turn to receive his gift: ,,E-Envy...? What are you doing here...?" ,,Nice to see you, too", answers Envy sarcastically. ,,I-I am sorry!" ,,It's okay, you can stop stuttering. I won't hurt you anymore. Ever. Besides, I just came to give you _this_."

,,Oh... You had to buy me a gift..." ,,Yes", answers Envy in a nutshell. No mocking smirk, no mean comment, just a simple response. ,,Thank you... Uh and... Would you mind giving me a tip, perhaps? I have to buy Solaris a gift and Riza has to buy Juliet one..."

,,Expensive or not?" ,,I don't know... Why...?" ,,My sisters are using the same fragrances for years. _Prada – Tendre_ for Sloth and _Hypnotic Poison_ for Lust. Other than that, you could buy flowers. Peonies for Sloth and red roses for Lust. Uh and Catherine's favourite fragrance is _Miss Dior Chérie_." ,,What...?" ,,Oh come on. I'm not blind, okay?", chuckles Envy.

,,Envy...!" ,,Don't worry. I won't tell her", reassures Envy and winks. ,,Why wouldn't you...?" ,,Because that way I can be there when she breaks your heart", whispers Envy with a mischievous chuckle and heads for the stairs. Kain answers with a disappointed look. ,,You will never change, will you?" ,,No. Will you?", asks Envy with a conspiratorial smirk before going downstairs.

OOO

Meanwhile, Scar gift-wraps a present for somebody special, when Kimblee enters the room. ,,Who's the lucky one, huh?" ,,What...? Uh... Not you", answers Scar who seems to be a little tense. ,,I know. The Christmas tree balls." ,,Right." ,,So...?" ,,It's for my boss, okay?" ,,Wow. That's tough." ,,Yeah." ,,And... How was the party except for the dramatic part?"

,,It was okay." ,,Just okay? I thought you and Rose -" ,,I didn't even ask Rose. She and her mother have been invited anyway." ,,Yet, you could have asked her." ,,That's not a so-called _prom_ , okay?" ,,Okay, if you say so." Scar just nods silently. Kimblee does not know what to answer.

OOO

,,Asexual? Scar?", asks Ling Greed, who has just exited his house, with a raised brow. Right now, he is talking to Kimblee on the telephone. ,,Yes. I mean, I don't get it. Rose is a hot and friendly primary school teacher in Liore. And do you know what her hobby is? Charity work, which is a form of _sublimation_." ,,A form of _what_...?", asks Ling Greed with a confused look.

,,Sublimation. According to Freud, that's a defence mechanism where socially unacceptable impulses or idealisations are unconsciously transformed into socially acceptable actions or behaviour, possibly resulting in a long-term conversion of the initial impulse", explains Solf.

Awkward silence. ,,In other words – Rose believes that she's a devout Christian whereas unconsciously, she is just craving for physical contact." ,,Wow. She'd look very hot in a Catholic school uniform", remarks Ling Greed with a naughty smirk. ,,Oh man", answers Kimblee dryly.

,,Whatever, you should do something, mate. Because Scar is apparently too distracted by something else than love and stuff." ,,Distracted?" ,,Yes. Maybe he's also keen on my father's job. And speaking of the headmaster – do you have any idea what I could buy him?", asks Ling Greed, who sounds slightly annoyed.

,,What about _nothing_? Like every year", retorts Kimblee sarcastically. ,,Sloth would kill me. It's her precious game after all." ,,What are you talking about?", asks Solf with a confused look. ,,Huh? I'm talking about that game with the balls. Don't you remember? I sent you a text when I was at that party on Saturday. You know? Before the drama started. Haven't you seen it?"

,,Yes, I have seen it and I know about the Christmas tree balls. But what I didn't know is that your father's name has been written there twice." ,,It hasn't." ,,But how come that Scar has to buy him a gift, too, then?" ,,No idea", answers Ling Greed relaxedly. However, Scar's flatmate is quite confused by that...

OOO

In the meantime, Winry is sitting on the top of a hill whence one has a good view of the northern borough Briggs and also of some parts of the eastern boroughs Resembool and Liore. It is the same hill where she and Kimblee had a conversation two months ago, after he had driven her car for the first time. Winry is lost in thought.

It is only when she suddenly hears steps behind her that she abruptly turns around. ,,Winry...!", murmurs Lust with an astonished look. ,,Lust...?", asks Winry with a rather confused look. Lust is speechless and motionless.

But all of a sudden, she turns on her heel. However, she accidentally stumbles so that she falls to the ground and almost breaks her leg. ,,Oh my God! Lust, don't move! I'm coming!", announces Winry and comes running.

OOO

,,You're such an idiot! I mean, who else would wear heeled boots out here, huh?", asks Winry, who is visibly upset, while examining Lust's leg. ,,Why do you even care? Nobody asked you to play Doctor Rockbell!", hisses Lust.

When Winry suddenly drops her gaze, Lust instantly realises: ,,I'm sorry...! I forgot that your parents -!" ,,Never mind." Awkward silence. But then Winry extends her arm. ,,Come, give me your hand." Solaris nods silently.

,,Good. Now put your right arm around my shoulders." After Lust has put her right arm around Winry's shoulders, Winry hesitatingly puts her right arm around Lust's waist. Afterwards, they start walking. Slowly.

,,Tell me, Winry... Why are you even -?" ,,Doing this? I don't know. But what I do know is that my parents would have done it, so..." ,,You... Miss them, don't you...?" ,,Of course...! My parents and my granny were... Wonderful people... But luckily, I have also a wonderful brother."

Only now, Lust realises that Winry has not been informed yet: _,,How is that even possible? Hasn't she talked to anybody or what?"_ Her stream of thought gets interrupted, when Winry hesitatingly asks: ,,Why... Did you come here anyway...?"

,,Frankly, Kimblee and I used to meet here." ,,You... Miss him, don't you...?" ,,Well. I do miss that time. Everything has been so perfectly uncomplicated back then." ,,What changed...?" ,,Everything... And nothing... Whatever, let's hurry up, okay? I may not miss the last bus to Dublith." ,,Dublith?"

,,Yes... Well... I'm staying at the _Rush Valley Inn**_ for a few days." ,,That hotel across the _Devil's Nest_?" Lust nods silently. ,,Stress at home...?", asks Winry tenderly. Once again, Lust answers with a nod. Silence. But then: ,,How much do you have to pay for that?" ,,Not that much. Why?", asks Lust with a confused look. Winry does not answer right away.

OOO

However, one hour later, she enters the hotel building together with Lust. ,,There's only one bed in my room but you can sleep on the couch." ,,Thanks. I'll give you the money tomorrow, okay?" ,,Don't bother. You can order us food instead." ,,Okay!", answers Winry with a friendly smile. Lust does not return it. Or at least not _yet_.

OOO

Meanwhile, Ed is standing in the shower. When he has taken off his clothes a few minutes ago, he did not dare to look in the mirror. Because since he broke the taboo of all taboos that night, his body is a complete mess: His knees, ankles and wrists are rubbed sore, his stomach and back are full of scratches and bite marks, his forehead as well as other body parts are slightly bruised.

Other than that, his tongue hurts a little when he eats and his already crooked wrist has gotten worse. However, Ed hasn't noticed any of those injuries at first. Because the first thing that has started hurting, is his pride. _,,What am I going to do...?"_

OOO

In the meantime, Alex Louis Armstrong is standing in his mansion's living room. Excitedly he unpacks the gift, King Wrath, his future father-in-law, had to buy him, when suddenly Olivier enters the room, asking: ,,Alex. What the hell are you doing?" ,,I know, I should have waited, beloved sister! But I was just too curious!"

,,No, Alex. That's not what I meant. What I mean is, what are you doing here while your best friend is missing, huh?" ,,Maes is missing?", asks Alex with a shocked look. ,,I'm talking about your other best friend, you moron!" Alex does not answer.

And Olivier knows why: ,,Oh my. Don't tell me your fiancé is compelling you to abandon him." ,,My peony is just trying to protect her beloved sister!" ,,Protecting her from _what_ exactly? Jean Havoc, the evil rapist and killer, huh?" Alex answers with an astonished look.

,,What, huh?", grunts Olivier. ,,I don't know... But I never would have thought that you..." ,,Listen, Alex! I'm not a big fan of those kind of relationships! But that doesn't change the fact that Havoc is a good guy, no matter who he's having feelings for! Think about it! Or let's better say – think for yourself and don't let others make your decisions!" Alex answers with a pensive look.

OOO

,,I know that's none of my business, but don't you at least want to send him a text or something?", asks Lust when she and Winry are eating pizza in their hotel room. ,,He didn't text me either, so", answers Winry, ostensibly indifferent. ,,Wow. Trouble in paradise, huh?" ,,No! I mean... The first three weeks have been perfect but _D._ is stressing us out, you know?"

,,Still. There has to be something else." ,,And why do you even care? Are you still attracted to my boyfriend?" Lust rolls her eyes. ,,Right, Winry. That's the reason why I'm asking. Nothing else." Winry answers with a regretful look. ,,I'm sorry... It's just that..." ,,You don't trust me, do you?", asks Lust with a raised brow. Silence.

But then: ,,Can you actually blame me? You've been nothing but mean to me since we two met..." ,,Silly girl. Of course, I'm mean to you. You're a threat to me", retorts Lust nonchalantly. ,,What...?" ,,Oh come on. Don't act so surprised." Winry blushes a little.

Then she spontaneously decides: ,,You know what? I will tell you a secret! But nobody will know! And beforehand -!" ,,I have to tell you one, right?" ,,Well... Yes, actually..." ,,Equivalent exchange, huh? Worse than in a kindergarten." ,,Lust, please..." ,,Okay, okay. But mum's the word!" ,,Promise!" ,,Good... I... Slept with two of our teachers..." Winry answers with a puzzled look.

,,Wow. Unbelievable that this is actually astonishing you." ,,Well... I always knew that you weren't the most... Prudish girl... But still..." ,,Anyway. Your turn." ,,No way! Now you have to tell me their names!" ,,Okay. But you have to give me at least a _piece_ of your secret, first. Regard it as a prepayment." ,,Sounds fair, I guess...", murmurs Winry. ,,Exactly. So?"

Deafening silence. But then: ,,I'm pregnant..." Lust answers with a shocked look. ,,I know...", murmurs Winry. ,,Who's the father...?" ,,Who are the teachers you have slept with?" Lust rolls her eyes: ,,Roy Mustang, okay?" Winry is visibly scandalised. Abandoning herself to an impulse, she suddenly hits Lust.

,,Ouch! You bitch!" ,,Oh, I am the bitch, huh? What about you, _Lolita_?" ,,Tcha! Being a _Lolita_ is way better than giving birth to a _terrorist's_ child!" Winry abruptly falls silent. ,,Ha! I knew it!", hisses Lust with a triumphant smirk. It is only when Winry suddenly starts crying that she stops teasing her...

OOO

King Wrath Bradley's favourite music genre is Jazz which is why Ling Greed bought him a Frank Sinatra-CD. Currently, he is gift-wrapping it, when suddenly someone knocks on his door. ,,Come in", he grunts. ,,Hi. What are you doing there?", asks Juliet Sloth with a confused look. ,,I'm working my arse off", retorts Ling Greed sarcastically.

,,I can help you if you -" ,,No thanks." ,,Oh... All right... _Here_ , that's for you. I'll put it on the table, okay?" Only now, Ling Greed looks up. ,,What the bloody hell is that?" ,,My gift for you." ,,Poor girl. We should have swopped our balls. I had to buy father a gift." ,,Funny."

,,I know. Whatever, you can put the dictionary on the table." ,,Dictionary? I didn't buy a dictionary." ,,You didn't?" ,,No. I bought a smartphone." ,,No way...!" ,,Your loss. Now you won't be surprised anymore when you unpack it", mutters Juliet and exits the room. At that very moment, Ling Greed is surprised: Surprised by his sister's generosity and all the more surprised by his guilt feelings...

OOO

Meanwhile, Lust gets slapped repeatedly. ,,Solaris Lust Bradley! I hate you! How dare you? Nobody is allowed to seduce MY BROTHER!" ,,Calm down, bitch! I didn't rape him!" ,,Yes, you did! And you know what? I won't allow you to buy Jean a gift! No matter what the stupid Christmas tree ball says! That's not destiny! That's a curse! And you are a goddamned witch! _Lust_!"

,,Stop, you stupid slut! Your baby!" Abruptly, Winry stops slapping her. ,,My... Baby...?" Solaris rolls her eyes since she knows exactly what is going to happen next: Winry will start crying again. And she does cry. A lot. And for some reason, Lust starts to feel sorry for her. Meanwhile, the radio is playing Lana Del Rey's _Religion_...

OOO

,,Okay, let me get this right. First, you yell at me and now you're planning on snooping around his room because you think that he could actually be _D._?", asks Edward with a confused look when he and Kimblee are standing in Scar's room. ,,Precisely." ,,But how come...?"

,,Scar lied to me. He said he had picked the ball with Bradley's name but in fact, it is Greed who has to buy his father a gift." Ed does not answer. ,,What is it, huh?", asks Kimblee with a raised eyebrow. ,,Well... I was just thinking that maybe..." ,,Maybe _what_?" ,,I don't know. But perhaps we shouldn't just accuse him." ,,Excuse me? I thought you -"

,,Maybe I was wrong. Maybe I'm just trying to judge others because of my own unpefection." ,,Is unperfection even a word?" ,,Shut up!", hisses Ed. ,,Sorry but I won't just shut up. So tell me, Edward Elric. Are you in or are you out? Because if the latter is the case you should better go now." Ed doesn't know what to say.

But all of a sudden, somebody else rises to speak: Scar. ,,I'm afraid he's not the only person who should go." Kimblee and Edward are both speechless and motionless. At that precise moment, they just don't dare to speak...

OOO

,,I'm going to stay at a hotel for three nights. When I return on Friday, you'll be gone." Scar's voice and mien are emotionless. But inwardly, he is quite crestfallen. ,,Come on, Scar. You don't even know the full story -" ,,I don't care, okay? Because what I do know is that you bit the hand that feeds you. I mean, do you seriously believe that I am an anonymous stalker?"

,,Wait, how do you even -?" ,,Olivier told me _everything_." ,,She did?" ,,She did. But whatever. Instead of snooping around my room, you should rather talk to Riza. Because this flate won't be yours any longer. _Kisses, D._ ", grunts Scar partly sarcastically and slams his door shut. Once again, Kimblee is both speechless and motionless...

OOO

Instead of going home, Trisha knocks on King's home office door after she has put Selim to bed. ,,Come in!" Hesitatingly, Trisha enters the room. ,,Trisha! Take a seat, please!" ,,Thanks", murmurs Trisha. ,,How can I help you?" ,,We... Need to talk... About Father... Father Hohenheim..." Wrath discreetly gulps. ,,Did you know it...?", asks Trisha straightforward.

King does not answer right away. But then: ,,Only when I saw your fiancé's picture..." ,,If so... And why didn't you say a single word about it...?" ,,Because... I wasn't sure whether your fiancé had lied to you or whether you had lied to me..." ,,And that's the only reason...?"

,,To be honest... No... That man wasn't trustworthy. And if I had told you about him you probably would have contacted him..." ,,So... You lied to me in order to... Protect me...?" ,,Yes... However, you are not the only one I was trying to protect... Father Hohenheim knew a lot of secrets about me and my family..."

,,Is there a connection between those secrets and those baby things...?" ,,Yes..." Trisha nods silently. ,,I see...", she then murmurs before suddenly standing up and heading for the door. ,,Where... Are you going...?", asks King cautiously.

Without turning around, she answers: ,,Home... And this time, I won't come back..." King is speechless. But just when Trisha is about to exit the room, he impulsively reveals: ,,Selim killed his brother!" Trisha halts abruptly. Mien shocked, body frozen...

OOO

After King Wrath has told her everything except for the _D._ \- and Edward-part, Trisha is completely speechless. But after a while, she finally rises to speak: ,,Do they know that Quinn wasn't their biological mother...?" ,,No. Their mothers had died before we accommodated them. And their fathers are in prison. Thus, we decided to tell them a different story."

Trisha is slightly confused: ,,Okay... I know that it's illegal to accommodate children without any official adoption included. But from an ethical perspective, you can't cast a stone at him, if you ask me. I mean, his intentions were good, weren't they?" ,,Well... It's not that simple..." ,,Well then explain it to me." King doesn't answer right away.

But then: ,,Father Hohenheim didn't give us those children just like that. Beforehand one of us had to join his sect." ,,Sect...?" ,,Yes. _The Gate_. That gate refers to a place where one can communicate with God and gain immortality. The leader of the sect was Hohenheim himself. The other members are all dead now, except for four persons. However, I don't know who the fourth person is."

,,And what about the other three persons...?" ,,One of them is Clemin." ,,But isn't he your friend...?" ,,Officially, yes." ,,Who's the second person?" ,,Well. Perhaps you know that your neighbour's father has been our town's police commander." ,,You mean... Berthold Hawkeye?" ,,Exactly. I knew Berthie. He was one of those ignorant fathers. Yet he was a good police commander."

,,What happened...?" ,,A young man by the name of Storch happened. He's the second person I was referring to. He killed the police commander and became the new one." ,,Oh my God...!" ,,The third person was a gold-toothed doctor. That doctor did experiments on children in order to find a way to gain immortal life." ,,What kind of experiments...?"

,,All sorts of experiments. When I was younger, I was also one of those orphans. That man raised me and educated me. I'm an excellent sword fighter, for example. Not even this eye patch changes anything. When Quinn learnt my story, she was shocked, to say the least. From then on, her only wish has been to accommodate every child that got in touch with Hohenheim. Children like me..."

,,What did she give in return...?" ,,She joined the sect and promised to name our children after the seven deadly sins. Even Juliet, who is our biological child. I don't know what else they asked her to do. All I know is that she kept saying _no_ to them. And whenever that happened, Hohenheim _cursed_ one of our children. Ritually. But since Quinn didn't believe in that hocus-pocus, she paid the price."

,,What was the price?" ,,A ritual ceremony. Hohenheim said some words in Latin and tattooed them. Fair enough. One day, it was Selim's and Porter's turn to get _cursed_. The plan was to tattoo Selim's eye and Porter's tongue. But I made a different deal with Hohenheim." ,,Oh my God...! Your eye...!" ,,Precisely." ,,But... What about Gluttony's tongue...?" Deafening silence.

But suddenly, Trisha solves the riddle: ,,No...! Quinn...!" King doesn't answer. But after a while, he just nods silently. ,,Only a few hours later, she found Gluttony's dead body. One day later, she got institutionalised..." ,,King, I'm so -!" ,,I know..." Silence. But then: ,,What about his twin...?" ,,Your fiancé?" Trisha nods silently.

,,I knew the names and faces of every member. No Van Hohenheim." Trisha sighs with relief. ,,However, that doesn't mean that he had no clue", adds King. ,,I know... And that's why I'm beginning to think that his own twin might have murdered him..." ,,Murdered? But I thought he died because of a plane crash...?"

,,No... He died in the city of his dreams... Here... I've always believed that he had come here jobwise for the first time. But now I'm sure that he used to come here to visit his only family member. A twin, whose exitence has been kept a secret from me for all these years..."

,,Trisha, please, don't be so sad...! His love for you has certainly been real and nothing else matters...!" ,,Excuse me!", sobs Trisha before suddenly hastening away. King Wrath instantly stands up. However he does not dare to follow her...

OOO

,,What are you talking about, Al?", asks Edward with a confused look. Right now, he and his brother are standing in their kitchen. Alphonse, who looks quite worried, just shrugs. ,,I don't know, Ed... But I'm sure that mom is going to tell us what happened when she returns home tomorrow...!" Ed is still confused.

Suddenly, their conversation gets interrupted by Ed's mobile phone. The caller is Kimblee. ,,I'll be right back!", announces Ed before quickly heading for his own room. ,,Finally!", he grunts. ,,Hallo to you, too", answers Kimblee sarcastically. ,,Cut the crap! Just tell me what Scar said!" ,,Well... To be honest, our conversation was quite short." ,,So...?" ,,He kicked me out." ,,What...?"

,,You heard me. Tomorrow, they'll lock me up again." ,,No, they won't! There has to be another option! I mean can't you just live with us for a while?" ,,Possibly yes. But I'm sure your mother and brother would never allow that." ,,Of course, they would! Give me Riza's number!" Kimblee does not answer. Instead, he smiles tenderly...

OOO

Meanwhile, the Gold-Toothed Doctor is entering his hotel room. A few years ago, he left the country. But after he had heard about Father Hohenheim's death, he decided to come back for a few days so he can go to his ally's funeral and then leave the country again.

However, the Gold-Toothed Doctor won't ever have the chance to leave the country. Because on Thursday, _D._ will be waiting for him infront of the church, so he or she can kill him brutally. After all, the Gold-Toothed doctor is just another _human sacrifice_...

 **Thank you so much for reading and also for reviewing! (:**

 **For the rest: Next chapter will be named after Lana's song _24_**

 **Kisses, PinkChocolateGlitter (;**


	24. 24

**Disclaimer: I don't own the mentioned brand names, the song titles and I also don't own Fullmetal Alchemist (c'est dommage...)!**

 **Information:**

Before we move to the real story, I want to explain a few things ahead, that don't need to be necessarily read but I personally feel like they could be sort of important to the readers.

Content: Christmas in Amestris, yeah ;D

Chapter: This chapter as well as the next one will be the longest ones so far. I hope, you don't mind (:

Character: _Special Guest Star_ Storch (;

Victim: So far the _human sacrifices_ are Father Hohenheim (†), the Gold-Toothed Doctor (†) and Jean Havoc. All the other members of Hohenheim's sect have already been killed by _D._ whereas those, who weren't members but yet happened to know _too much_ , have been killed by Father Hohenheim. However, Van Hohenheim, Quinn Bradley and Gracia Hughes have NOT been killed by Father Hohenheim.

Allusion: Brotherhood-Roy asks Bradley whether he might ask him one question. Bradley agrees. Then, Roy asks him if he killed Maes Hughes. Bradley says that he isn't the culprit. When Roy asks, who the culprit is, Bradley doesn't give him an answer because Roy only asked for _one_ question. Keep that in mind. And do you also remember how 2003-Edward punches Envy in the face? Good (;

Everything is said for now, so let's move to the story!

 **Amestri**

 **\- Chapter 24: 24 -**

,,A Christmas dinner?", asks Juliet Sloth with a surprised look. It is Thursday and right now, she, her siblings and her father are sitting at the table. After King had told Trisha his secrets on Tuesday, she decided to take two days off which is why he plans on inviting her for Christmas. ,,That was my idea", announces Pride in a patronising tone. ,,Congratulations", retorts Ling Greed sarcastically.

Afterwards, King rises to speak: ,,Unfortunately, Lyra and Rose will be out of town. But we could invite the Elric family and the Hughes family instead. And the Armstrong family, of course." ,,Maes and Elicia will be in Ireland to visit their relatives", answers Sloth. ,,Great. And what about Lust? Will she be welcome, too?", asks Ling Greed sarcastically. Nobody answers...

OOO

,,Don't get me wrong, Officer Hawkeye. But after all those months you should know the way." ,,We're not heading home", answers Riza in a nutshell. Right now, she and Kimblee are sitting in her car. ,,We're not...?" ,,No." ,,Uh, I understand! You're kidnapping me, huh?", asks Kimblee jokingly. ,,Right", answers Riza sarcastically. ,,Oh come on. I'm so curious", chuckles Kimblee.

,,Fine. But when they'll tell you what's going on, you're going to pretend to be surprised, deal?" ,,Deal." ,,They found Hohenheim's killer." ,,What...?" ,,I forgot his name. He's a gold-toothed doctor. In the morning, he committed suicide. Beforehand, he had confessed several murders as well as the attempted one in a letter. And Lan Fan already testified that he might have been the real culprit."

,,But why -?" ,,According to her words, an anonymous person has threatened her for weeks. And she thought that person would be you since someone wearing your clothes is the last thing, she can remember." Kimblee does not answer verbally. However, he cannot hold back a smirk. _,,Looks like D. and Lan Fan have both gotten tired of my house arrest."_

OOO

,,Of course, you can also bring May", offers Pride in a patronising tone. Right now, he is sitting in flat 1b's living room with Trisha, Alphonse and Ed. ,,Thank you, Selim", answers Al with an angelic smile. ,,You're welcome. Uh and your brother is allowed to bring his girlfriend, too." ,,Hey, I'm standing right next to you!", hisses Ed with an annoyed look.

,,Selim, sweetheart! I'm afraid, I can't come...!", announces Trisha cautiously. ,,What? Why not?", asks Selim with a disappointed look. ,,Well... Two days ago, Solf and his flatmate had an argument which is why he's going to move in today. And I can't just leave him alone on Christmas Eve..."

,,Why not? He's a criminal!", argues Pride. ,,And he's not the only one!", hisses Edward with gritted teeth. When he realises that he has just said too much again, he instantly slaps himself mentally. Meanwhile, Trisha realises that her son knows _something_...

OOO

Therefore, she decides to eavesdrop when Ed and Kimblee are having a conversation in his room, a few hours later. ,,Does your mother know that I got rid of my accessory?" ,,Not yet. And neither does Al. But I'm sure, May has already told him. They are having a date today." ,,Okay. But how come that your mother doesn't know it yet?"

,,To be honest, I'm avoiding her." ,,But I have to talk to her. I haven't found the time to thank her yet, you know?" ,,Hey, you can talk to her whenever you want but I won't. Not after what happened a few hours ago." ,,Oh come on. She probably didn't understand what you'd been talking about." ,,I hope so. But whatever. Actually, I wanted to talk about something else. About _someone_ else."

,,Shoot." ,,Okay. Scar isn't _D._ ", begins Edward. ,,I know", answers Kimblee nonchalantly. ,,Right and... Wait, what?" ,,Believe it or not – I don't suspect him anymore." ,,Okay... And who is your new suspect then...?", asks Ed. ,,Honest answer?" ,,Yeah." ,,Jean Havoc." ,,What? That's bullshit!"

,,Nope, it's not. Havoc is living here for nine years. His family stayed in Australia, so he came on his own." ,,But he has a sister!" ,,Right. A sister that has been spawned so far whereas everyone else who's been trying to defeat _D._ has somehow been hurt. Besides, I slept with Winry and with his ex-girlfriend Lust, so." ,,No, that doesn't make sense! Havoc is even one of the _human sacrifices_!"

,,Clever move, huh?" ,,But why would he want to hurt the Bradley family? And don't tell me that he is Selim's father or an ex-con!" ,,I'm not saying that he was in prison. Because I don't assume that he's taking revenge on that family because of his son." ,,Then what do you assume?" ,,That he's taking revenge on his father." ,,His father...? Holy shit...! King Bradley...!"

,,Precisely." ,,No, no, wait! _D._ didn't just attack you and the Bradley family! I mean, what about me and Lan Fan?" ,,I don't know. But perhaps, Havoc just punished you because of what you and Lan Fan did to Winry. Uh and you slept with Lust."

Gradually, Ed is running out of arguments. Kimblee answers with a triumphant smirk. ,,See? Now it makes perfect sense." Ed does not answer. ,,And I'm sure that you will be the fourth _human sacrifice_ whereas I will probably be the fifth one. Thus, your brother Al isn't in danger." Hearing those words, Ed sighs with relief: ,,Thank God!"

,,Forget God. Let's rather focus on our lives." ,,Hey, nobody is going to kill us! Because we will unmask that bastard in time! Promise!" Kimblee raises an eyebrow. ,,You really are a hothead, aren't you?" Ed answers with a bold smirk before retorting: ,,Nope. I'm just an optimist. Blame Al and my mother. Not me."

OOO

Meanwhile, Winry is eating cornflakes in her kitchen. However, when Roy enters the room, she decides to eat her cornflakes in her bedroom instead. ,,Halt, young Lady!" Winry rolls her eyes but she does not answer verbally. ,,Listen, Winry! I know why you're angry but I'm sure that your brother will return soon!".

Winry snorts. ,,So you think that I'm angry with you because Jean is missing, huh?" ,,Yes, actually... Am I wrong...?" ,,Yes, you are!" ,,Okay. Why are you angry with me if not because of him?" ,,I'm angry with you because of your foolishness! I mean, Solaris Lust Bradley? Seriously, Roy?"

Roy cannot believe his ears: ,,How do you know that...?" ,,She told me everything! Because apparently, you and my brother are too gutless! But who cares? In the end, everyone is lying to me!" ,,Oh, I understand. And you don't keep anything a secret from us, right?", asks Roy sarcastically. ,,Right! And speaking of secrets – I'm pregnant!" Roy answers with a shocked look...

OOO

A few minutes later, Roy drinks a glass of _Stray Dog_. ,,For how long?" ,,Eight weeks." ,,Who's the father? Edward?" ,,No... Kimblee..." ,,Hell no", mutters Roy before taking another sip. ,,Who are you to judge, huh?", hisses Winry with wet eyes. Roy does not answer at first. But then: ,,Come on. Let's talk to my old friend Knox."

,,Wait, you know him?" ,,Yes. Which is quite convenient. Because I don't know how these things work in Australia but in this country, the doctor has to agree first." ,,What are you talking about?", asks Winry with a confused look. Roy clears his throat.

,,Listen, Winry. I know that you're a fighter. And I also know that you'd be a wonderful mother. But -" ,,No!", interrupts Winry. ,,Winry, please -" ,,I said _no_! I support every woman who wants to have an abortion but that doesn't mean that I..." ,,Yes?" Winry pauses. But then: ,,I made a mistake! And now I'm ready to bear the consequences!"

,,And that's very brave. But also very selfish. You can't just give birth to a child because you want to prove your endurance to yourself." ,,Shut up, Roy! This isn't about my endurance and ego! This is about self-reliance! This is _my_ child, _my_ life and _my_ decision! Understood?" Without awaiting an answer, Winry exits the room...

OOO

,,You need to talk to her. Because you are the one person she would listen to." Maes, who is packing his things at the moment, raises an eyebrow. ,,Didn't you say, you wanted to come over to help me packing my things? You're a horrible friend, Roy", he then remarks sarcastically. ,,Damnit, Hughes! What's wrong with you?" ,,I'm just thoroughly relaxed, that's all", answers Maes nonchalantly.

,,How come? I mean, didn't you hear what I just told you? Winry is pregnant! And seventeen!" ,,So what? Gracia was sixteen when she got pregnant." ,,That's not the same." ,,Why not?" ,,Because you are the perfect father and Kimblee is... Kimblee." Hughes answers with a soft chuckle. ,,What is it, huh?", asks Roy with a confused look.

,,Well. It's just that I'm flattered, fellow. Yet I'm afraid that you're wrong. I mean, I am definitely a good father. But that hasn't been always the case... You know? Baking was Gracie's hobby and talent. Her apple pies and spinach quiches were divine, just like all the other things she used to cook... Other than that, she knew how to protect Elicia, how to foster her, how to entertain her. She sang lullabies, organised birthday parties, watched _Disney_ films with her. To cut a long story short – she's been a natural-born mother. I, on the other hand, had no idea what to do. All I had was my endless love for my daughter... And apparently, that was enough to grow..."

Roy nods silently. But then: ,,See, Hughes? That's exactly the point. You are a father who loves his daughter. And that is something, Kimblee will never be capable of." ,,Oh, fellow. _Will_ is such an ultimate word. And nothing is ultimate. One can always learn and grow."

,,Not anyone. And guess what, I can't even blame him. Because after all, you can't _learn_ something that you've never _experienced_." ,,If you say so." ,,Hey, that's the truth!" ,,No. That's _your_ truth, fellow. But it is Winry's truth that really matters." ,,Winry is just naive and way too optimistic." ,,Either that, or you are just too sceptical and pessimistic." ,,She can't raise a child on her own."

,,Right. However, she is _not_ on her own." ,,What about her future? What if Mr Bradley decides to kick her out of school?" ,,He won't." ,,Are you sure?" ,,Yes, I am." ,,And what if anybody insults her...?" ,,Oh, come on. Winry can handle some insults." ,,But what if I can't...?" ,,Wow. Roy, the protective brother", chuckles Maes. ,,Shut up", mutters Roy, before both of them burst into laughter.

OOO

,,Since when do you organise last-minute events?", asks Maes sarcastically when he, Sloth, Scar and Rebecca are sitting in the staff room on Friday. ,,Well. It was a last-minute decision, so", retorts Juliet. ,,Wow. Another progressive dinner?", asks Maes, again sarcastically.

,,No. Just a usual Christmas dinner. Father invited the Elric family and the Armstrong family, of course. He would have invited you and Elicia, too, but I already told him about your trip to Ireland. Thus, we are twelve persons at the moment. However, we all are allowed to invite someone else."

,,Wow. Twenty-four people on December 24th, huh?", chuckles Maes. ,,Right", answers Juliet dryly. ,,Will I be your special guest?", asks Rebecca with a cheeky smirk. ,,Of course. And Scar will be Olivier's plus one", announces Sloth. ,,I will?", asks Scar with a raised brow.

,,You seem to be surprised", remarks Rebecca. ,,Because she hasn't invited me yet", retorts Scar. ,,Oops", chuckles Maes. Afterwards, Hughes strikes a more serious note: ,,What about Roy?" Juliet answers with a conspiratorial smirk.

OOO

,,I'm beyond flattered, Sir!" Headmaster Bradley answers with a fatherly smirk. Right now, he and Roy are sitting in the headmaster's office. ,,Judging by that, I assume that you're going to come?" ,,Of course, Sir." ,,Good. If so, you're dismissed."

Roy nods silently, stands up and heads for the door. But instead of exiting the office, he hesitatingly asks: ,,Sir? May I ask you one question?" ,,Of course." ,,Did you fire him...?" ,,Not yet." ,,And... When -?" ,, _One_ question, Mr Mustang." Silence. ,,Good day, Sir." Bradley does not answer which is why Roy just exits his office.

OOO

Winry returned on Tuesday. However, her boyfriend hasn't contacted her yet. But after Alphonse has told him about the Christmas dinner, Ed decides to break the ice by sending her a text, when he is sitting in his room in the afternoon. It takes him forever to type those simple words: _,,Do you wanna be my plus one tomorrow evening?"_

Suddenly, somebody knocks on his door. ,,Come in", grunts Ed, whereupon Kimblee enters the room. ,,Idiot. You don't need to knock, this is your room, too, remember?" ,,I'm just being polite", retorts Kimblee sarcastically. ,,Of course, you are." ,,Yes. So?" ,,What?" ,,Have you finally received your gift from Havoc?"

,,Damnit!" ,,What?" ,,I totally forgot to buy Envy a gift!" Kimblee is visibly amused. ,,You have to buy _him_ a gift? That's hilarious." ,,No, it's not! That damn Christmas tree ball!", hisses Ed with gritted teeth. Kimblee shrugs.

Suddenly, Ed gets a message. ,,Is it Havoc?", asks Kimblee nonchalantly. ,,What? No! It's Winry! And stop suspecting her brother already!" ,,Interesting. So she broke the ice, huh?" ,,What are you talking about...?" ,,Please. I know that you haven't seen her once, since she's back in town." ,,How do you know that?" ,,I'm your flatmate, remember?" Ed does not answer.

,,Trouble in paradise?", asks Kimblee with a teasing smirk. ,,Keep on dreaming, Kimblee!", grunts Ed. ,,Come on. I'm totally over _Australia_. And you know that. Because otherwise you wouldn't let me sleep in your room." Ed doesn't answer right away.

But then: ,,You're right... You're definitely not the problem..." ,,Then what is it, huh?" Silence. But then: ,,Nothing! Everything's perfect! Tomorrow, we'll go to that Christmas dinner in the Bradley house, you know?" ,,Nice. Have fun." ,,What are you talking about? You'll come with us!" ,,What the bloody hell?"

,,Mom talked to Mr Bradley. You're going to be her plus one." Kimblee answers with an astonished look. ,,Did you seriously think that she would leave you here all by yourself?", asks Ed rhetorically, a bold smirk on his face. Kimblee does not know what to answer. However, he smiles inwardly.

OOO

In the evening, Sloth gives her family an update: ,,Roy, Rebecca, Scodran, May, Winry and... Solf... Will be our plus ones. Alex, Catherine, Envy and Selim didn't invite anybody. But what about you, Greed?" ,,I invited Kain Fuery", answers Greed nonchalantly. Envy is visibly not happy with that decision: ,,What? But he's Jewish!"

,,Who cares? Scar is Muslim and May is Buddhistic", argues Greed with composure. ,,Why don't you invite Lan Fan instead?", asks Envy with crossed arms. ,,Because she won't leave Fu on his own", answers Greed. ,,Liar. She gave you the brush-off, didn't she?", asks Envy with a mischievous smirk.

,,Okay, guys. Thanks for the incredibly entertaining dinner but I'm off", announces Greed dryly. ,,Where are you going?", asks Sloth with a reprehensive look. ,,I have a date with the hottest girl in the universe", answers Ling Greed. Without awaiting an answer, he then exits the room.

OOO

Ling Greed didn't lie: One hour later, he knocks on a hotel room door. ,,Hallo, pretty girl." Lust answers with a happy smile before hugging her brother. ,,Come in, handsome", she then offers with a nasty smirk. ,,Gladly, sis."

OOO

,,Sorry to say, bro, but there's no way I'm going to return", clarifies Lust. ,,Oh come on. Christmas Eve won't be the same without you. Besides, I'm running out of money, sis." ,,I said, I'll give you the money back." ,,I know but that's not the point."

,,Then what is the point, huh?" ,,I don't know", answers Ling Greed nonchalantly. ,,Wow. You should definitely be a politician", remarks Lust sarcastically. ,,Shut up", chuckles Ling Greed. Lust chuckles, too. ,,So...?", asks Ling Greed then. Lust instantly falls silent...

OOO

On Saturday, Kimblee bumps into Lan Fan on the stairs. ,,Long time no see." ,,Yeah, well. I was sort of avoiding you", answers Lan Fan nonchalantly. ,,Ouch." ,,Yeah." Awkward silence. ,,Uh and thanks for lying to the police." ,,You're welcome." Awkward silence. ,,How was Seattle?"

,,Okay. And Amestris?" ,,Murderous." Awkward silence. ,,Wanna make out?", asks Lan Fan relaxedly. ,,I'd love to. But unfortunately, Edward is home." ,,A threesome would be fine with me." ,,Good to know. But how about the basement instead?" ,,Sure", answers Lan Fan nonchalantly.

OOO

Almost thirty minutes later, she and Kimblee are sitting on the bicycle parking racks in the basement. ,,You definitely have to make it up with Scar. Because neither can we make out in Ed's room nor in the basement. At least not deep in winter. They even announced a snowstorm for tomorrow. And I could swear that icicles are hanging down from my vagina."

Kimblee doesn't answer. But then: ,,I can smell that you slept with Ling Greed." ,,What...? No, I didn't...!" Kimblee doesn't answer. Instead, he just stands up and exits the basement. Lan Fan is speechless. And upset.

OOO

In the early afternoon, Lan Fan and Ed find themselves in the Amestris Avenue. ,,You could buy him a rope so he can commit suicide." ,,So not helping, Lan Fan." ,,Killjoy", mutters Lan Fan before entering a perfume shop. ,,Wait, what are you doing?" ,,I'm going to buy me a perfume", answers Lan Fan relaxedly.

Just when Ed is about to ask further questions, he suddenly spots something interesting: A perfume by the name of _Gucci – Envy for Men_ _._ ,,No way...!", murmurs Ed and heads for the shelf. A few seconds later, he can smell _him_. _,,So this is Envy's fragrance...!"_ Ed is bemused.

,,Hey, buddy. What are you doing there?", asks Lan Fan with a confused look. ,,Nothing!", fibs Ed and puts the flacon back as fast as possible. ,,Come on, let's go", decides Lan Fan. ,,I thought you wanted to buy yourself a perfume?"

,,I changed my mind. Besides, grandpa is waiting for me at the _Dragon's Pulse_. My shift started a few minutes ago." ,,Oh man." ,,Yeah, I know. What about you?" ,,I have to work elsewhere today." ,,Too bad that the snowstorm won't come earlier to Amestris. Like today, huh?" ,,What? No! I love my job!" ,,Of course, you do. Killjoy." ,,Lan Fan!", hisses Ed with gritted teeth.

OOO

,,Everything's going wrong!", announces Sloth hysterically in the afternoon. Only a few seconds ago, she has entered the kitchen where Trisha is cooking non-stop. ,,But... You didn't even have a taste of it..." ,,Oh no, Miss Elric, I'm not talking about your menu, I'm talking about that bloody snowstorm!" ,,You mean that one that will be coming tomorrow?"

,,That's the point! It'll come this evening which is why I either have to cancel everything or ask the guests to arrive at five o'clock!" ,,But that's okay, isn't it?" ,,No, it's a complete disaster! We only have two hours left!" ,,Don't worry, dear. The dinner will be ready in time." ,,I know but..." ,,Yes...?" Sloth does not answer. Instead she slowly sits down on one of the chairs.

Trisha smiles tenderly. ,,It's about your sister, isn't it?" Deafening silence. ,,Maybe... I mean... We had more fights in the past than Greece and Turkey... Yet we've always managed somehow to come together on Christmas Eve..." ,,Where is Solaris at the moment?" ,,I have no clue. But I'm sure, Ling Greed knows." ,,If so... Why don't you ask him...?"

,,Because that would be pointless... Even if I begged for it, she wouldn't do me that favour..." ,,With all due respect, Miss Bradley. I don't think that someone like you has ever begged for anything. Am I wrong...?" Deafening silence.

But then: ,,No... You're definitely right..." ,,How about _placet experiri_ then?", asks Trisha with an angelic smile. And for the first time ever since they've met, Juliet Sloth does not answer with one of these _since-when-do-maids-speak-Latin-_ looks...

OOO

For the first time in her life, Juliet Sloth happened to misinform her guests: Therefore, Roy, Rebecca and Edward don't arrive at five o'clock, since Sloth hasn't told them the correct time. However, those three are not the only ones who are missing in the Bradley house when the guests arrive.

,,Where are Envy and Sloth? And why are some of the guests missing?", asks Pride in a whisper. Right now, he and Trisha are standing in the kitchen. ,,I don't know, dear. Perhaps, Sloth has accidentally misinformed them."

,,My sister Juliet Sloth Bradley? Never! There has to be another explanation!" ,,Don't worry, sweetheart. I'm sure, they will arrive soon." ,,I hope so. Because I can already smell the snowstorm", retorts Selim and exits the kitchen. Trisha is worried.

OOO

Thirty minutes later, Rebecca exits her flat. While doing so, she almost bumps into somebody, who was just about to knock on her door. And that somebody is: ,,Havoc...! What are you doing here...?" Jean does not answer right away. But after a while, he finally rises to speak: ,,The Christmas tree ball... I have a gift for you... But apart from that, I need your help...!"

OOO

In the meantime, Edward roams the corridors of the unpeopled library to tidy up everything so he can finally leave, when his mother suddenly phones him. ,,Hey." ,,Hey, where are you?", asks Trisha, who is obviously worried. ,,I'm going to leave the library in ten minutes, why?" ,,The snowstorm will come earlier, you have to come as soon as possible! The roads will be closed soon!"

,,What? Why haven't you told me earlier that -?" ,,I'm sorry, I didn't know that Juliet hadn't told you the correct time! Please come as fast as you can!" ,,But, mom! I have to -!" Abruptly, the telephone line gets cut off. ,,Mom? Are you there?" Silence. ,,Shit!", hisses Ed...

OOO

,,What happened? Is he on his way?", asks Al with a worried look. ,,Not yet, but he'll come soon!", reassures Trisha. ,,Sorry to say but that's quite impossible. The roads have been closed one minute ago. Apparently, this snowstorm is quite capricious", intervenes Ling Greed.

,,Guys, do you have any idea where Envy, Sloth and Miss Catalina are?", asks Catherine, while Alex is crying in the background. ,,Roy is also missing", notices Olivier. ,,Since when do you care?", chuckles Ling Greed. ,,Funny", remarks Olivier dryly.

,,Wait! Envy says that he can't come! But he'll stay at a hotel!", announces Catherine who has just gotten a text from Envy. ,,But what about Ed? He can't spend the day in an unpeopled library!", interposes May. Only now, Winry enters the room. ,,What? Ed hasn't arrived yet?", she asks with a worried look...

OOO

Meanwhile, Riza realises that she has accidentally forgotten the most important key inside. Therefore, she cannot enter her flat. ,,Dammit!" ,,Language, Lady", jokes Roy who has just exited his own flat. Riza does not answer which is why Roy strikes a more serious note: ,,What happened?"

,,Awkwardly, I forgot the key inside." ,,Oh. What about Kain?" ,,He's in Resembool. The Bradleys invited him for dinner. I'd ask him to come back and give me his key but unfortunately, the roads are closed because of the snowstorm." ,,Wait, the snowstorm is coming earlier?" ,,Yes." ,,Great. If so, I can't go out anymore."

,,Leastwise, you don't have to spend the day on the stairs", retorts Riza with a smirk on her face. ,,Neither do you. Come, you can be my guest today, if you like", offers Roy. Riza hesitates. But then: ,,Okay. Why not? Thanks." ,,You're welcome", answers Roy with a playful grin.

OOO

In the meantime, Sloth is sitting in her car that is parking infront of the _Rush Valley Inn**_ when she suddenly gets a phone call. ,,Hallo?" _,,Thank God! Why haven't you answered the phone earlier, huh?"_ ,,Selim?" _,,Yes, it's me! Where are you? Everyone is waiting! And your baby fiancé is crying for hours!"_ ,,What do you mean? It's four o'clock."

 _,,No! It's quarter to six!"_ ,,Oh my God...! You're right...!" _,,Where are you?"_ ,,I'm in Dub... Central!" _,,Well done."_ ,,I'll be there in fifteen minutes, all right?" _,,How? The roads are closed!"_ ,,What...?" _,,You heard me. Looks like you'll have to stay at a hotel."_ Sloth does not answer...

OOO

,,Sloth made an organisational mistake which means that this is doomsday!", announces Selim partly sarcastically and partly dramatically. Right now, he and Trisha are standing in the kitchen again. ,,Everything is ruined...", pouts Pride. ,,Please don't say that!" ,,But that's the truth! I hate to admit it but we're lost without Sloth!"

Trisha does not know what to answer. Because right now, she is worried. However, Selim's sad look is too unbearable which is why she decides to soothe him: ,,All right, young man, enough pessimism for today! Your brother and your sisters are safe and sound and so is Ed!" ,,What about Mr Mustang and Ms Catalina? They are also missing!"

,,I know but Winry and Alex told me that they were at home." ,,What about the others?" ,,What about them, dear?" ,,Like I said! We don't know how to entertain guests! That's something only Sloth can do!" Once again, Trisha does not know what to answer.

But then: ,,You know what? While I'm serving the meals, you could put on some music. Like Christmas songs for instance." ,,That sounds like a plan... But what about the remaining hours?" ,,Don't worry. Just leave it to me, all right?" Pride does not answer right away. Only after a few seconds, he finally nods silently, murmuring: ,,All right..." Trisha smiles tenderly.

OOO

,,I hate you, you fucking snowstorm!", grunts Ed in the meantime. Silence. But then: ,,Pathetic." Ed almost jumps out of his skin after having heard that familiar, husky voice. ,,What the hell are you doing here?", he hisses after he has turned around to face Envy, who is leaning against a shelf.

,,Well. To be honest, I fell asleep", answers Envy. ,,No, you're lying! You did this on purpose, didn't you?" ,,Yes, you're right. I willingly decided to spend Christmas Eve in a library and not in my bloody house", retorts Envy sarcastically.

,,Hey, don't say that! We won't spend the night here! Because the snowstorm will be over soon!" ,,Says who?" ,,I say that!", grunts Ed. ,,Oh, you say that? If so, I can put my mind at rest." ,,Damnit, that's a downright nightmare!", hisses Edward and takes off his gloves so he can at least chuck them on the ground.

All of a sudden, Envy's disdainful look turns into a rather astonished one. ,,What is it?", asks Ed partly grumpily and partly insecurely. Only now, he realises that Envy is staring at his bruised wrists. Within seconds, Ed hides his hands behind his back.

Instead of mocking him, Envy indirectly changes the subject: ,,I hate to disillusion you but I can't get rid of the feeling that we'll be forced to spend the night here. Therefore, we should look for a vending machine or something like that." Ed answers with an astonished look which is a reaction to Envy's willingness to cooperate.

OOO

Meanwhile, Juliet Sloth is standing infront of Lust's hotel room door. After a while, she finally decides to knock. And she does knock. Hesitatingly. But nobody answers the door at first which is why Sloth is just about to leave when she suddenly can hear footsteps from inside.

A few seconds later, she finally sees Lust's surprised face. Deafening silence. But then: ,,You...?" Sloth does not answer. Instead, she just asks: ,,Can I come in?" This time, it is Lust who does not answer. However, she does answer nonverbally by stepping aside so that her sister can come in...

OOO

,,Come on, take a seat already, Miss!", commands Olivier, after everyone, except for Trisha, sat down. The others answer with amused laughter, especially King. ,,You heard her, Trisha. And you better not ignore her command", he intervenes, his undertone thoroughly dry. Trisha chuckles softly before taking a seat next to Olivier.

,,That soup is divine, Miss Elric!", remarks Alex enthusiastically. The others agree. ,,Thank you", murmurs Trisha with blushed cheeks. ,,If I knew how to cook, I would also decide to be a housekeeper!", interposes Catherine with a cheeky grin.

,,Perhaps you should rather focus on your finger nails instead of watching children", retorts Pride. Awkward silence. But suddenly, Ling Greed starts chuckling. ,,Pride, Greed, enough!", intervenes King, his voice calm but his look reprehensive. Still keeping her insincere smile, Catherine reassures: ,,It's all right, Mr Bradley! I'm not mad at them!"

Without awaiting an answer, Catherine addresses herself to Trisha this time: ,,What I said was supposed to be a compliment. I'm sorry if it didn't appear to be one. Nobody deserves to be discriminated, regardless of sex, religion, race, ethnicity and education." ,,You forgot _intelligence_ ", interposes Pride sarcastically.

At that very moment, Ling Greed, Kimblee and even Winry are having a hard time holding back a laugh. ,,Pride!", repeats King insistently. However, Pride is unstoppable: ,,Excuse me, father. But I have nothing to reproach myself for. That girl is clearly insulting Miss Elric." ,,What? I'm not insulting anybody!", clarifies Catherine with a goody-goody look.

,,Yes, you are. And the only reason why everyone ignores that is because they are trying to preserve the festive atmosphere, but since this is _my_ feast you are ruining at the moment, I'm more than willing to defend it!", retorts Pride, his voice calm but his look patronising. Everyone is speechless.

Everyone, except for Pride: ,,But it's not too late. You can still apologise to her and we can forget everything." ,,Hey, it's okay, sweetheart!", intervenes Trisha. ,,No, it's not!", clarifies Pride before addressing himself to Catherine again: ,,So? I'm listening, Princess Catherine. However, in case you forgot your text, I can be your prompter. You know what a prompter is, right?" Deafening silence.

But suddenly, Catherine stands up and exits the room. While doing so, she keeps her inimitably upright posture, however inwardly she is aware of the fact that she has just been humiliated by a thirteen-year-old. Awkward silence.

,,Congratulations, Mr Bradley. Your son will be a great dictator one day", interposes Olivier dryly. ,,That's for sure", remarks Ling Greed, who is visibly amused at the moment. However, Pride just ignores his brother and addresses himself to Olivier instead: ,,Please. I know that you're of the same opinion as I. Otherwise you would have interfered."

Only now, May rises to speak, in order to change the subject: ,,Of course, she is. And it's perfectly normal that she's not of the same opinion as her sister Catherine. Miss Olivier is a Taurus whereas Cat is a Gemini." Awkward silence. ,,You can't be serious", answers Olivier sarcastically. ,,Trust me. She is", interposes Scar dryly.

Alex, on the other hand, took the bait: ,,Deeply interesting! Tell me something about me! I'm a Cancer!" And just like that, Alex and May start to talk about astrology, while King is addressing himself to Trisha simultaneously: ,,Congratulations. Your future daughter-in-law is a friendly young woman." ,,And so is your future son-in-law", retorts Trisha with an angelic smile.

OOO

,,Taurus, huh? I'm a Sagittarius. I wonder whether we'd make a good couple", jokes Ling Greed in the meantime. Nobody except for Olivier and Scar can hear him. ,,Could you be a little cruder, please?", asks Olivier sarcastically. ,,Come on, I'm just kidding", chuckles Ling Greed. Scar remains silent. For now.

OOO

,,Just go and talk to her!", whispers Winry meanwhile. Kain doesn't answer right away. But then: ,,I don't think that I'm the one she wants to talk to at the moment." ,,Of course. You're an Aquarius", chuckles Winry. Kain answers with a dry look. However, Winry doesn't give up yet: ,,Oh come on! That's _the_ opportunity!" Kain hesitates. But after a short while, he just stands up and exits the room.

Winry is visibly proud of him. It is only when Kimblee disenchants her, that her smile disappears instantly: ,,You know that he deserves something better, right?" At first, Winry doesn't know what to answer. But then: ,,Watch your mouth, you're talking about my friend!" ,,Catherine? Please. I know you've enjoyed every second of Pride's verbal checkmate."

Just when Winry is about to answer, their conversation suddenly gets interrupted by Kain who has just come out of nowhere: ,,Sorry to interrupt all of you but Officer Heymans Breda just rang me to tell me that the roads will be closed until tomorrow noon!"

,,Wait. Does that mean, we have to spend the night here?", asks Winry, who is obviously not that happy about the situation. ,,You can sleep in my bed if you like", offers Ling Greed with a naughty smirk. Winry blushes immediatly, while Kimblee is discreetly rolling his eyes.

OOO

,,Why are you here?", asks Lust in the meantime. Therefore, she is the one who has broken the silence. Sloth does not know what to say. As a result, she just changes the subject: ,,I brought a bottle of vine... Well... Two bottles, to be honest..." Deafening silence. But suddenly, Lust starts chuckling. At first, Sloth does not react. But then, she starts chuckling, too.

OOO

,,Seriously?", asks Envy dryly in the meantime after Ed has shown him all the snacks he has found. ,,What did you expect, huh? Langoustine and Dom Perignon?", retorts Ed sarcastically. ,,No. But the food in that fridge in your superior's office should do the trick."

Ed is confused: ,,Wait a sec! How do you know...?" ,,I broke in." ,,What the hell, Envy?" ,,Sorry, not sorry", retorts Envy nonchalantly. Ed does not answer right away. But then he blows out his cheeks, grunting: ,,Fine. But no snooping around and stuff, understood?" Envy answers with a conspiratorial smirk.

OOO

,,A couch, blankets, a microwave, food and... Wow. Alcohol. Looks like this is my superior's second home..." ,,I bet, he's trying to avoid his wife that way", chuckles Envy with a mischievous look. ,,You're horrible", remarks Ed. However, he cannot hold back an amused smirk. ,,I know", answers Envy, who is also smirking.

OOO

A few minutes later, they are sitting on the floor and eating instant noodles. ,,That's so pitiful", remarks Ed after a while. ,,What do you mean? That we're eating instant noodles on Christmas Eve or that we're not spending that special day at home?" ,,Both." Envy does not answer which is why Ed rises to speak again: ,,You know? I was hoping that this would be a good day..."

He pauses before continuing: ,,The last good day before Havoc or Scar or whoever is going to kill us all." ,,You're talking in riddles." ,,Yeah. Because I haven't told you everything yet..." ,,If so, I'm all ears", retorts Envy nonchalantly.

Edward does not dare to look him in the eye, while answering: ,,But your father asked me to -" ,,I don't care. Just tell me what he told you." Ed hesitates. ,,I can keep a secret, you know?", adds Envy with a conspiratorial smirk. Ed does not know what to say.

But then: ,,Fine. Kimblee and I believe that _D._ might be one of your biological fathers." ,,What...? But our fathers were -" ,,Donors? No, they weren't. They were men who raped women and finished up in jail. However, those women are dead by now..." ,,Wait, does it mean that our mother has never really been our... Mother...?" Ed does not answer verbally. Instead he just nods silently.

Much to his surprise, Envy's only answer is a shrug and an indifferent: ,,Okay." ,, _Okay_? Is that all you gotta say?" ,,What do you expect me to say? Our mothers are dead and our fathers in prison, so what?" Ed is speechless. But then: ,,Wow... I mean, aren't you at least the slightest bit curious?" ,,Not really. All I want is to unmask our stalker, no matter if he or she is my parent or not."

,,Wait! _He or she_?" ,,Yes." ,,But your father said -" ,,What my father said, doesn't matter. Because these are the information, he'd received from Father Hohenheim. And Hohenheim was a mendacious bastard. Which means that _D._ could also be one of our mothers or just another sibling we don't know about." ,,Who are you referring to...?"

,,I don't know... It could be anybody... Including..." ,,Yes...?" ,,Kimblee." ,,What? No! Never!", protests Ed. Envy rolls his eyes. ,,Stop rolling your damn eyes, Envy! Because right now, you're talking nonsense!" ,,Oh, am I?" ,,Yes, you are! Kimblee almost ended up in prison because of _D._ to begin with!" ,,Right. _Almost_." ,, _D._ almost killed Lan Fan!" ,,Right. _Almost_."

Suddenly, Ed is running out of arguments. ,,See? Somehow, it does make sense, doesn't it?" ,,No, Envy!" ,,Oh yes. I mean, think about it. _D._ _burnt_ down your house and made use of _poison_." ,,That's exactly the point! I'm still convinced that _D._ is imitating Kimblee in order to cheat everyone into believing that he is the culprit." ,,Or maybe that is exactly what Kimblee wants you to believe."

,,Okay, you know what? That's crazy! I mean, you and your brother pretend to be his friends and yet both of you keep betraying him!" ,,Well. The question is whether we are betraying him or he is betraying _us_! I mean, isn't it strange that you and Kimblee became friends overnight? Or that Winry hasn't gotten harmed yet?"

,,Kimblee has no motive!" ,,Says who? I mean, he clearly hates you for being in a relationship with that girl. And since nobody knows who his real parents are, he could be related to _anybody_. Including our father." ,,Wow..." ,,What, huh?" ,,Kimblee said something quite similar about Havoc and your father..." ,,What a coincidence", remarks Envy sarcastically.

,,You... Aren't one of those guys who believe in coincidences, are you...?" ,,No..." ,,So...?" ,,Well. If you ask me, there's only one way to find out the truth." ,,Which is...?" Envy answers with a conspiratorial smirk. ,,One word. _Fear_." ,, _Fear_...?", asks Edward, who is partly confused and partly alarmed.

,,Oh yes. Don't you remember what I'd done before I fucked you that night, when I was the _White Rabbit_?" Ed reflexively flinches. Afterwards, he gulps before answering: ,,You hold a knife to my throat...!" ,,Yes, I did. And in the end, I got, what I wanted." ,,Really, huh...? And what is it that you wanted, Envy...?"

All of a sudden, Envy does not know what to answer. Therefore, he spontaneously decides to turn the tables: ,,Why do you even care? Shouldn't you rather focus on the fact that you also got what you wanted?" ,,What do you mean by that...?" ,,Not _what_. _Who_. After all those months, you and Winry found the way back to each other. Yet you don't seem to be happy at all."

,,I _am_ happy, okay?", clarifies Ed. ,,Is that so?" ,,Yes, it is!" ,,Then why did you cheat on her, huh?", asks Envy with a mischievous smirk. Ed gulps. ,,Counter question – why have you done nothing but terrorizing me ever since we met?" ,,Because I love to see you suffer." ,,But why, huh? Why do you enjoy that so much?" ,,I guess, it's simply been _hatred at first sight_."

,,You hate me and yet you wanna fuck me so badly? That's insane, Envy! Even for you!" ,,How is that insane? After all, the same goes for you." Deafening silence. But then: ,,No, that's not true! I never meant to do that! You manipulated me!"

,,Right. I'm evil and you are completely innocent. _Mea culpa_ ", chuckles Envy. ,,Stop mocking me!" ,,Sorry, but you leave me no bloody choice. I mean, who are you trying to fool, huh?" ,,I'm not trying to fool anybody! Winry is the one I want to be with!", declares Ed. Envy does not answer.

Instead, he suddenly asks: ,,Does it hurt...?" ,,Whatcha mean?", asks Ed grumpily. ,,Well. Your ankles. Your tongue. Your... Wrists..." Ed answers with an astonished look. ,,What, huh?", asks Envy, ostensibly clueless. ,,It's just that..." ,,Yes?" ,,Nothing hurts...!" ,,Good." ,, _Good_? You're kidding, right?" ,,No", answers Envy in a nutshell.

,,Wait a sec! Does that mean, that it's never been your intention to seriously hurt me?" Envy snorts. ,,You don't know how BDSM works, do you?" ,,You're right, I don't! Because other than you, I'm not a pervert!", grunts Ed.

,,Oh please. I whipped, tied and bit you and yet you obviously enjoyed it. Therefore, you clearly are a pervert. Not a sadist, though. Rather a masochist." ,,Take that back!", hisses Ed with gritted teeth. ,,Oh. Looks like I hit a nerve", chuckles Envy mischievously.

That is overkill: Furiously, Edward jumps at him and presses his enemy's back and arms against the floor. However, Envy is visibly not intimidated at all. ,,Now what, huh? Are you going to punish me, you _naughty boy_?", he asks with a teasing smirk. Edward does not answer verbally. Instead, he punches Envy in the face.

,,Sorry to say, Envy, but I'm not satisfied yet! Because your face is still too handsome!", hisses Edward and is just about to punch him one more time, when his enemy suddenly starts fidgeting, his face thoroughly terrified. Seeing Envy frightened and vulnerable like that, Edward impulsively unclenches his fist.

All of a sudden, Envy stops fidgeting. At that very moment, Edward could swear that Envy is hurt. Physically and emotionally. And just like that, Ed starts feeling sorry for what he did. And not only is he sorry but also determined to make it up to his enemy: Abandoning himself to an impulse, he suddenly kisses Envy.

However, Ed removes his mouth from his enemy's lips within seconds and mentally slaps himself. _,,Fuck, damnit! What have I just done?"_ His stream of thought gets interrupted abruptly, when Envy suddenly kisses him this time.

At first, Edward does not move at all. But finally, he gives in and starts kissing his enemy back. First softly. Then ardently. A few hours later, Edward will be listening to Lana Del Rey's _24_. And he will feel miserable...

OOO

,,You know? I've always hated you!", confesses a drunken Lust in the meantime. ,,You and your perfect life!", she adds. Sloth, who is not used to drink alcohol, is having an even harder time speaking properly: ,,Shuck up!" ,,What?" ,,Shulp up!" ,,What?" ,,Shut up!" ,,Uuuuh!" ,,Yes! Shut up! My life was not prefect!" ,,You mean _perfect_?" ,,Yes! My life was shitful!"

,,Is _shitful_ even a word?" ,,I don't bloody care! The point is that my life was shitful!" ,,And now it isn't _shitful_ anymore?" ,,No! Because I have Alex! And I love him!" ,,If so, your life is prefect!" ,,You mean _perfect_?" ,,Yes!" ,,No, it's not! And that's all your fault, Lunst!"

,,My name is _Lust_! And I have no idea, what you are talking about!" ,,Well. Just because of you, I broke that one promise I'd made to myself!" ,,No way! You started eating carbohydrates again!" ,,Foolish girl! I'm talking about my virginity!"

Lust cannot believe her own ears: ,,No way! You actually lost your _holy V_!" ,,Like I said, dammit!", hisses drunken Sloth. ,,Oops!", giggles drunken Lust. ,,And what was it like, huh? I'm just curious because frankly, you and Alex don't look like people who are able to have sex." ,,Shuck up!", hisses Sloth. Lust chuckles nastily.

OOO

,,I'm pregnant...!", she later reveals when she is sober again. ,,What...? Are you serious...?", asks Lust with a puzzled look. Sloth nods silently. Lust is visibly confused: ,,But... That's great, isn't it...? I mean, hasn't it been your dream to -?"

,,Of course...! And I know that Alex will be a wonderful father! However, the actual plan was to wait...! And not to walk to the altar with a baby bump...!" ,,What does Alex say...?" ,,To be honest... He has no clue..." ,,What? Why?" Deafening silence. But then: ,,Because he is not the father..." Solaris is shocked...

OOO

Later in the evening, Olivier and Catherine enter Envy's room. ,,Dark walls? I'm starting to like your secret boyfriend." ,,Envy is not my boyfriend!" ,,Wow. Are you on your period? Again?", asks Olivier sarcastically.

Catherine rolls her eyes. ,,No, I'm not on my period! I'm just annoyed, that's all! I mean, I've always known that you hate me but leastwise my brother should have defended me today!" ,,Oh please. For the first time, nobody felt the urge to punch that impertinent dwarf. Because he was absolutely right whereas you were being a snobbish bitch."

,,Okay, you know what? Being a snobbish bitch is better than being a frigid one!" Olivier answers with mocking laughter. ,,Sorry, sis. But I'm not sixteen and we're not in an American high school movie which is why you can't hurt me with your cheerleader slogans." Catherine is visibly upset.

OOO

Meanwhile, May and Winry are entering Lust's room. ,,The whole room smells of _Hypnotic Poison_!", complains Winry. ,,I actually like that smell! It's so... _Femme fatale_!", giggles May. ,,Not my cup of tea", mutters Winry.

,,Hey, I understand that you're mad at her! Trust me, when I found out that Kimblee is having an affair with Lan Fan, I was also angry with him! But in the end, it's not our decision, right?" Winry cannot believe her ears: ,,What...? Lan Fan and Kimblee are having...?" ,,Not officially, of course! But I'm not blind!", giggles May. Winry does not answer.

OOO

,,Well. Usually I hate to share my possessions. But since it's Christmas, I'm willing to share my bed with one of you", announces Ling Greed relaxedly. ,,I can sleep on your couch!", reassures Kain sheepishly.

,,Fine. If so, you can have my couch whereas I'll share my bed with the terrorist", jokes Ling Greed. ,,Of course, why not? After all, that's not the only thing we're sharing", retorts Kimblee with a disdainful smirk. Ling Greed answers with a confused look. However, Kain knows exactly what Kimblee is referring to.

OOO

,,How come that he hasn't texted us yet?", asks Trisha in the meantime. Right now, she, Al and Pride are standing in Selim's room. ,,Don't worry, mom! I'm sure, he's fine!" ,,Our library is a safer place than this old house", interposes Pride.

Hearing those words, Trisha and Alphonse chuckle softly. ,,Good. If so, I'll hit the pillow now! Sweet dreams, boys!" ,,Night, Trish!" ,,Night, mom!" Trisha smiles tenderly before exiting Selim's room and heading for the guest room.

,,She won't be able to sleep, will she?", asks Pride sarcastically. Alphonse just shakes his head. ,,What about you?", asks Pride next. ,,I don't know... But what I do know is that I've never had sleeping troubles in this cozy room so far", answers Alphonse with an angelic smile on his face.

OOO

Meanwhile, Scar is entering Sloth's room for the first time. ,,This room is so British that I wouldn't be surprised at all if the Queen just jumped out of the closet." ,,My peony is so sophisticated, isn't she?" ,,Yes, Alex. She is", answers Scar dryly before sitting down on Sloth's couch.

,,Wait, Scar! You can't sleep on the couch!" ,,Why not?", asks Scar with a confused look. ,,Because my peony doesn't want me to sleep in her bed yet! Thus, you have to sleep in her bed and I have to sleep on the couch!" Scar is still confused. Yet he does not question it any further.

OOO

In the middle of the night, Olivier enters the kitchen. ,,Sleep problems?", asks Scar who has just come out of nowhere. Olivier almost jumps out of her skin. ,,Dammit, Scar! You scared the hell out of me!", she hisses in a whisper. ,,And you roused me from sleep with your military march downstairs." ,,Sorry. But I'm thirsty. And hungry..." Scar answers with a conspiratorial smirk.

OOO

A few minutes later, they eat Christmas sweets in the dark living room. ,,We're horrible guests", remarks Scar dryly. ,,I know. Give me the Christmas biscuits." Scar obeys. ,,Did you talk to Catherine?", he then asks. ,,Not really", answers Olivier in a nutshell before asking: ,,Did you talk to your flatmate who isn't your flatmate anymore?"

,,How do you know...?" ,,Your cute neighbour told me about Kimblee's move-out." ,,May?" ,,Yes." ,,I see. And did she also mention, that I kicked him out?" ,,Well. She didn't use those words. But I read between the lines." ,,Uh." ,,Yes. So?" Silence.

But then: ,,He thinks that I'm the stalker." ,,Ouch..." ,,Yes..." ,,But hey. I'm sure that this was supposed to be a compliment. In the end, Kimblee has a penchant for genius criminals." ,,Are... You actually defending him?" ,,No." ,,Yet you don't seem to judge him any longer." ,,I hate racists. However, he doesn't seem to be one. At least not anymore."

,,Whatever. Let's not talk about him." ,,Okay. You're free to change the subject." ,,Cool. Have you talked to Miles recently?" ,,Okay. You're free to change the subject _again_." ,,Cool. Are you having an affair with Ling Greed?" ,,What the hell...?" Scar does not answer which is why Olivier rises to speak again: ,, _Needless to say_ – I'm _not_ having an affair with my student. Ling Greed is my May."

,,I guess, that makes sense." ,,Of course, it does. I'm not attracted to greenhorns. Other than you." ,,Excuse me?" ,,Oh come on. You and Rose are totally having an affair." Scar's hush speaks volumes. ,,Give me the ginger bread", commands Olivier. Meanwhile snow is falling silently...

OOO

Storch does not celebrate Christmas. Yet, he is thankful to his workmates for their gift: A bottle of vine. However, greeting cards lie. And so do labels. The ugly truth is that this gift has not been bought by his workmates and that this vine is not vine. It is poison. Therefore, this is Storch's last Christmas. For good...

 **Thank you so much for reading and also for reviewing! (:**

 **For the rest: Next chapter will be named after Lana's song _Kill Kill_**

 **Kisses, PinkChocolateGlitter (;**


	25. Kill Kill

**Disclaimer: I don't own the mentioned brand names, the song titles and I also don't own Fullmetal Alchemist (c'est dommage...)!**

 **Information:**

Before we move to the real story, I want to explain a few things ahead, that don't need to be necessarily read but I personally feel like they could be sort of important to the readers.

Content: There will be flashbacks, lemons and potentially disturbing situations in this chapter. Other than that, be prepared for the big revelation (;

Chapter: This chapter (and the one before) will be the longest one(s) so far. I hope, you don't mind (:

Storyline: _D._ will make his/her last appearance in this chapter. However, that storyline won't end completely.

Character: _Special Guest Stars_ Izumi Curtis, Chris Mustang, Van Hohenheim and Father.

Victim: So far the _human sacrifices_ are Father Hohenheim (†), the Gold-Toothed Doctor (†), Storch (†) and Jean Havoc. All the other members of Hohenheim's sect have already been killed by _D._ whereas those, who weren't members but yet happened to know _too much_ , have been killed by Father Hohenheim. However, Van Hohenheim, Quinn Bradley and Gracia Hughes have NOT been killed by Father Hohenheim.

Allusion: So many allusions. I'm sure, you won't miss them (;

Location: The pub that will be mentioned is the same one as in the series. The one where Maes and Roy are having drinks (I think in the FMA-03-version?).

Everything is said for now, so let's move to the story!

 **MissisElric**

 **\- Chapter 25: Kill Kill -**

 _Amestris, June 1998_

It is a hot summer night in Amestris. A late-night phone call rouses Van Hohenheim from sleep. ,,Hello...?" Silence. But then. _,,Good evening, Mr. Hohenheim. My name is Izumi Curtis. Perhaps, you remember me."_ ,,Izumi... Izumi Curtis! Of course, I remember you! How are you, Mrs. Curtis?"

 _,,I'm fine, thanks. But let's skip the small talk. Because there's something important I need to tell you. Even though, she asked me to keep it a secret from you."_ ,,Who...? Trisha...?" _,,Yes."_ ,,What happened, Mrs. Curtis?" Deafening silence. _,,She has just brought a child into the world... Your child..."_ Van Hohenheim is speechless...

OOO-OOO

 _Amestris, New Year's Eve, 11:59 p.m._

Loudly and joyfully, the guests in the Armstrong mansion are counting down the last seconds: ,,TEN! NINE! EIGHT! SEVEN! SIX! FIVE! FOUR! THREE! TWO! ONE!" And just when they are about to welcome 2017, they suddenly hear loud shots which is why they synchronously start screaming, while seven armed persons with balaclavas are entering the living room...

OOO-OOO

 _6 days earlier..._

In the morning, a phone call rouses Edward from sleep. For a moment, Ed does not know where he is. It is only when he sees Envy sleeping next to him on the couch, that he remembers everything with lightning speed. ,,Shit...!", he whispers before quickly – and yet noiselessly – exiting his superior's office in order to answer the phone: ,,Hey, mom."

 _,,Thank God! I was worried sick!"_ ,,Sorry... I fell asleep..." _,,Anyway. The roads will be closed until noon. Just so you know."_ ,,Okay..." _,,I'll see you later, okay?"_ ,,Okay..." _,,Okay. Bye, honey."_ ,,Bye, mom..." After they hung up, Ed runs his fingers through his hair.

It is only when he can suddenly feel Envy's cold hands on his own naked stomach, that Edward almost jumps out of his skin. ,, _Shhh_. It's just me, okay?", chuckles Envy before abruptly removing his hands, stretching his body and heading for the office. ,,Where are you going?", asks Ed.

,,I'll go for a lie down. You can join me, if you like", offers Envy and winks nastily before entering the office. Edward sighs. When he notices his _morning wood_ , he slaps himself, additionally. _,,Gosh, I hate that bastard inside my boxers!"_

OOO

In the meantime, Riza starts from her sleep. ,,Morning", chuckles Roy who is lying next to her. Riza does not answer. Instead, she quickly gets up and grabs her clothes. ,,What the hell are you doing?", asks Roy with a raised eyebrow. ,,I'm trying to forget what happened", retorts Riza sarcastically. Or maybe just partly sarcastically. ,,Ouch", mutters Roy dryly. ,,Sorry... It's just that..." ,,Yes...?"

,,Usually, I prefer one-night stands with strangers and not with neighbours, you know?" ,, _One-night stand_? Well, well." ,,What, huh?", asks Riza partly grumpily and partly insecurely. ,,Nothing", answers Roy with a playful smirk. ,,Good. Thank you for the dinner and for... Everything else." ,,Wow. That sounds like a goodbye. Which is funny since..." ,,Since _what_?"

,,Well. For all I know you shouldn't leave my apartment yet. Unless, you are willing to hang out on the stairs, of course." Only now, Riza remembers that she forgot her keys inside her flat: ,,Dammit...!" ,,You don't say", retorts Roy with a playful smirk. Riza does not answer. ,,So...? Breakfast on the stairs or in my kitchen? It's your choice, Officer Hawkeye."

OOO

,,Trisha, no! I don't allow you to make breakfast for us!", clarifies King after he has entered the kitchen. ,,Too late", chuckles Trisha. ,,Wow. You are an incredible wom... Housekeeper." ,,Thanks", mutters Trisha. However, while doing so, she does not smile.

Suddenly, their conversation gets interrupted by King's mobile phone. ,,Please, excuse me." ,,Sure." ,,Bradley! ... Clemin, is that you? … What are you talking about? … All right. Thank you." Trisha is visibly confused. ,,What happened?", she asks with a worried look after King hung up. ,,That was Clemin... He's going to leave Amestris today..." ,,But why...?"

,,Do you remember what I told you about the remaining members of Hohenheim's sect...?" ,,Yes. You said that there were only four members left. And I also know that Clemin is one of them and that another one has been murdered recently." ,,Precisely... But apparently, he's not the only one... This morning, Storch has been found dead in his flat..." Trisha answers with a shocked look...

OOO

,,Why on earth do I have to wear a costume?", asks Olivier. It is the day before New Year's Eve and right now, Sloth is decorating her mansion for the party. ,,Because this is going to be a theme party, Olivier! _Time journey_ , remember? For example, Alex will be _le Roi Soleil_ , your sister will be Marie Antoinette, Solaris will dress 1920s-style à la _femme fatale_ and I... Well, that'll be a surprise!"

,,Jackie Kennedy." ,,What...? No...!", fibs Sloth. Olivier raises an eyebrow. ,,Okay, fine. You're right, I will be Jackie Kennedy", mutters Sloth grumpily. ,,I'm shocked", retorts Olivier dryly. ,,Anyway! Just buy yourself a costume, okay? Okay! Case closed!" Olivier rolls her eyes.

OOO

When Winry enters her living room in a Marilyn Monroe-costume, Roy almost drops his glass. ,,What...?", she asks with an insecure look. ,,I'm speechless. You look hot as hell, young Lady." ,,Thank you!", chuckles Winry with blushed cheeks. ,,What about you?", she then asks. ,,Wait, let me guess! A 1920s-gentleman!" ,,Precisely", answers Roy with a playful smirk.

,,How predictable", remarks Winry with a cheeky smirk. ,,Yes. But we both know that I look handsome when I dress 1920s-style", retorts Roy. ,,So true", chuckles Winry. ,,But what about your Kennedy?" ,,Ed won't be wearing a Kennedy-costume tomorrow. He'll be a rockabilly boy instead." ,,Stop drooling, Marilyn." ,,Shut up!", chuckles Winry.

Suddenly, their conversation gets interrupted by the doorbell. Winry abruptly falls silent. Because right now, she is hoping that the person who has just rang the bell, is Jean. Roy, who opens the door, is hoping for the same. However, the person who is standing there, turns out to be: ,, _Madame Christmas_?" ,,Hello, lil Roy", chuckles the sixty-year-old and true-born female New Yorker...

OOO-OOO

 _San Francisco, June 1998_

,,Is it a boy or a girl...?", asks Van Hohenheim hesitatingly. Right now, he and Trisha are walking on the beach. ,,The former..." ,,And... Can I see him...?" Trisha does not answer right away. But then: ,,That is not possible..." ,,But Trish, I -!" ,,He's gone...!" ,,What...?"

,,Van, please! You shouldn't be here! You are engaged!" ,,But Trisha...! You are the woman, I love...!" ,,What...?", asks Trisha with an astonished look. Only now, she notices that Van Hohenheim is not wearing his engagement ring anymore...

OOO-OOO

 _Amestris, December 2016_

In the evening, Kimblee tries his white suit, his white hat and his violet tie on, when someone knocks on the door all of a sudden. ,,Come in." ,,Wow! Would you look at that!", chuckles Trisha, after she has entered the room. ,,Well. I thought, I could be a 1920s-mafioso tomorrow." ,,You definitely look authentic", remarks Trisha with an amused smirk.

,,Thanks. But what about you?" ,,Oh, well. When I was young, I used to watch the movie _Mary Poppins_ at least twice a week which is why I decided to sew a _Mary_ -costume for tomorrow." ,,Nice idea. I mean, in the end, you are _Mary_." Trisha answers with amused laughter. ,,Oh! I almost forgot! There is someone who wants to see you, dear!" ,,I'll be there in a minute", announces Kimblee.

OOO

,,What do you want?", asks Kimblee after he has closed the flat door from outside. ,,Nice to see you, too, Michael Jackson", retorts Lan Fan sarcastically. ,,I'm a mafioso." ,,A hot one." ,,Thanks", answers Kimblee coldly. Deafening silence. But then: ,,I came here to tell you that I'm still a virgin." ,,I bet you are."

,,Speaking of bets. I haven't lost yet." ,,Is that so?" ,,Yes. Believe it or not – I said _no_ to Ling Greed. Again." ,,Really, huh?" ,,Yes. Why the fuck would I lie to you, huh?" Kimblee does not know what to answer. But then: ,,You're a free woman. Therefore, you can do whatever you want with whomever you want." ,,Good. If so, come with me." Kimblee does not answer.

OOO

However, a few minutes later, he and Lan Fan end up in the basement. ,,Come on, let me do it now, love." ,,No!", moans Lan Fan. ,,I won't lose that bet!", she declares. ,,You're merciless", chuckles Kimblee. ,,I know", answers Lan Fan with a cheeky smirk.

It is only when she suddenly notices someone's presence, that Lan Fan abruptly backs away from Kimblee. ,,What?", he asks with a raised brow. Lan Fan does not answer. Instead she just stares at the entrance, where Winry is standing.

Only now, Kimblee notices her presence, too. ,,Hey, Win." Winry doesn't answer him. Instead, she just leaves. Lan Fan sighs. ,,I'll talk to her." ,,What? Why?", asks Kimblee nonchalantly. ,,Because she's my friend", answers Lan Fan and leaves. Kimblee rolls his eyes.

OOO

,,Winry! Winry, wait!" ,,What?", hisses Winry. At first, Lan Fan is quite intimidated. But then: ,,Wow. Calm down, okay?" ,,Leave me alone!" ,,What? No! Come on, let's talk about it!" ,,Sorry but I'm not in the mood for that, Lan Fan!" ,,What the hell, Winry? Okay, just so you know – that boy in the basement is Kimblee, not Ed!"

,,Right! But the question is why that boy is not Greed! Or Kain! Or Envy! Or simply anybody, I haven't slept with yet!", hisses Winry. ,,Well. Ling Greed is an asshole, Kain Fuery prefers blondes, Envy is definitely gay and the others are either too ugly or already in a relationship", retorts Lan Fan sarcastically. ,,You're so funny!", hisses Winry before stomping upstairs. Lan Fan sighs.

OOO

In the meantime, Rebecca is standing in Riza's living room and showing her the dress, she brought for her. ,,A charleston dress?", asks Riza with a raised brow. ,,Yes! For the party tomorrow! That will look fabulous on you!", reassures Rebecca. ,,Okay... Thank you, I'll definitely wear it." ,,Perfect!" ,,What about you?" ,,I'll be Cleopatra!", announces Rebecca enthusiastically.

,,However, without Marcus Antonius...", she adds with a sad look. ,,Wait, are you referring to... Jean Havoc...?", asks Riza with a confused look. Rebecca nods silently. ,,If so, I guess, he's staying at your place, recently?" ,,Well... Yes..." ,,And are you two...?" ,,What? No! Hell no! We're just friends!", declares Rebecca. Riza nods.

,,What about you and Heymans Breda...?" ,,Just friends", answers Riza in a nutshell. ,,Uh. Good." ,,Why are you asking? Don't tell me, you're interested in a date with him!" ,,Hey, that's not it, okay? I was just curious because I could swear that there's someone you're having an affair with, lately!" ,,What? That's nonsense, Rebecca!", fibs Riza.

Rebecca raises an eyebrow, yet Riza does not react at first. But then: ,,Okay, fine. I'm not having an affair, but I had a one-night stand with someone, you happen to know." ,,Oh my God! It's Mustang, isn't it?", asks Rebecca with a cheeky grin. Riza does not answer verbally. Instead, she just nods silently. ,,Oh my fucking God, you have to tell me _everything_!"

,,What...? Why...?" ,,Because Mustang is _the_ womaniser!" ,,If so, why don't you see it for yourself?" ,,Because I prefer blonds! And Scar! Or Miles! Or both of them!", giggles Rebecca. ,,Havoc is blond, isn't he?" ,,Well. Apparently, he prefers minors. But whatever, tell me about the sex with Mustang! I want to know every dirty detail!"

,,You're horrible", remarks Riza dryly. ,,And you're prudish!", retorts Rebecca. ,,Come on! Tell me, tell me, tell me! How was it?" Riza bites her underlip before finally answering: ,,It was wicked and it will never happen again!" ,,What? Why?", pouts Rebecca.

,,Come on, Bex. You know that I'm not made for relationships. And neither is he." ,,You never know! Besides, I do know that your favourite novel is _Bridget Jones's Diary_! Therefore, you definitely are made for relationships!", giggles Rebecca. ,,Shut up", chuckles Riza.

OOO

,,You look like a Renaissance whore", remarks Envy the next day when Catherine is trying her costume on in his room. ,,If so, you can be my punter, if you like", giggles Cat. ,,Thanks. But no", answers Envy coldly. Catherine rolls her eyes. ,,Okay, enough! I'm sick of your refusals! We didn't have sex for over a month now!" ,,Yes. So?", asks Envy, ostensibly indifferent.

,,That sucks, Envy! I _need_ that!" ,,Well. If so, feel free to visit my next-door neighbour." ,,Who? Ling Greed? No thanks, I'm not that into immature playboys." ,,Of course, you aren't", chuckles Envy mockingly. ,,Hey, that's the truth!" ,,No, chérie." ,,I love it when you call me that, Envy!"

,,The truth is that you are an immature playgirl. I mean, Ling Greed? Seriously? _Ew_." ,,What the hell are you talking about?", asks Catherine with a confused look. ,,You know exactly what I'm talking about, you pathetic girl", retorts Envy with a mocking smirk.

,,Shut up, Envy! Because if you seriously believe that I had sex with Ling Greed...! Gosh, you must be insane or something!" ,,And you are a liar." ,,No, I'm not! If any, he is the liar! Because I _never_ slept with him! And I _never_ would!" Envy does not answer.

,,But wait! Since when do you care, anyway?" ,,I don't. All I'm asking you to do is to stay away from the men in that family. Other than that, you're free to have sex with anyone." ,,How generous!" ,,Oh, come on. What would you say if I slept with your sister, huh?" ,, _Ew_. Touché", mutters Cat.

OOO

Almost forty minutes later, she exits Envy's room with messy hair and a rumpled Renaissance dress. ,,Hallo, Marie _Anwhorenette_ ", mutters Ling Greed who has just exited the bathroom. ,, _You_!", hisses Catherine before suddenly seizing him by the collar. ,,How dare you!" ,,Sorry, but you have to be a little more specific", answers Ling Greed with a disdainful look.

,,Somebody has told the others that we had sex, which is a complete lie! And guess what! That somebody is definitely not me!" ,,Uh. Right. Now I get what you're referring to." ,,Good! So...?" ,,I never claimed that we had sex. But Kimblee assumed that. I mean, he didn't even ask, he just assumed it. And I didn't deny anything. I merely went away and took a shower."

,,Is that so?", asks Cat with a disdainful look. ,,Yes. But hey, you don't have to believe me. It's just that I barely lie. I'm a man with principles. And that means that I won't share my bed with Envy. At least not when it comes to a catty girl like you. You know? You're just not worth it." This time, Cat answers with a rather hateful look. However, Greed is not intimidated by that. He is rather amused.

OOO

,,Ta-daaa!", warbles May cheerfully, after she and Alphonse have entered the kitchen in flat 1b. Both of them decided to dress 1960s-style. Al is wearing a checkered suit whereas May is wearing a yellow dress. Her hair is coiffured like Audrey Hepburn's.

,,Good Lord. Is it possible to look more _British_ than you do?", asks Kimblee sarcastically. Alphonse answers with a sheepish grin. ,,May, you look gorgeous!", remarks Trisha. ,,Thank you! Likewise, _Mary Poppins_!", giggles May with blushed cheeks. ,,Thanks, sweetheart!", answers Trisha with an angelic smile.

,,Alright then, I'll see you later!", warbles May and is just about to exit the flat, when Ed asks: ,,Huh? Aren't you coming with us?" May shakes her head. ,,Grandpa, Lan Fan and I will drive off in an hour! But I'll meet you there!"

It is only when she, Al and Trisha head for the door that Kimblee addresses himself to Ed: ,,There's only one _human sacrifice_ left." ,,I know. The mother who will lose her child...", murmurs Ed. ,,You know what that means, right?", asks Kimblee in a whisper. Ed gulps. ,,Yeah... _D._ is going to kill me tonight...", he then answers, also in a whisper.

,,Hey, we can still use that gift, you got from _D._ and ask Black Hayate for help." ,,No, that won't work. _D._ was clever enough to send me that gift by mail." ,,But how is that even possible? Did that bitch install cameras in our flats?", asks Kimblee with a confused look. ,,Possibly. But whatever. Let's just go to that party and hope that this nonsense will end tonight", grunts Ed.

Suddenly, their conversation gets interrupted by Trisha, who is entering the room again: ,,Look, who decided to come with us, boys!" Only now, Ed and Solf look up. When they see Winry as Marilyn Monroe, they almost drop their glasses.

,,Doesn't she look beautiful?", asks Trisha with an angelic smille. ,,Indeed", answers Kimblee with a naughty smirk whereas Edward is speechless for the moment. ,,Thank you", giggles Winry with blushed cheeks.

OOO

Scar, a medieval monk, and Rose, a medieval woman, exit the residential building together, after everyone else has already left. ,,Are you all right?", asks Scar cautiously when he notices that Rose's mascara is slightly smeary. ,,I'm fine!", fibs Rose with an insincere smile. Scar answers with a sceptical look...

OOO

,,Don't worry, darling. She will come", whispers Lyra, who is also wearing a _Mary Poppins_ -costume, with a tender smile, after she has caught King, who is looking like a Victorian gentleman, staring at his watch, again. King does not know what to answer.

However, he reflexively starts smiling, when _femme fatale_ Lust suddenly enters the mansion. ,,See?", chuckles Lyra. ,,Oh, I should have listened to you", answers King with an amused smirk. ,,Just go and talk to her. She'll be glad", reassures Lyra. King nods silently. ,,Possibly. But she and I can talk afterwards. Right now, I'd rather like to dance with _Mary Poppins_." Lyra smiles.

OOO

Meanwhile, Ed presses Winry against the tiled wall in the bathroom, takes down his trousers as well as her panties, spreads her legs apart and _invades_ her savagely while kissing her ardently at the same time. Both of them have already waited for this to happen. But having been in a rush, they've accidentally forgotten to lock the door.

As a consequence, they suddenly get interrupted, when somebody enters the bathroom. And that somebody turns out to be Envy, who is wearing a _Pharaoh_ -costume. Reflexively, Edward backs away from his girlfriend.

Winry, on the other hand, is quite upset at that very moment: ,,Go away, Envy!" ,,Gladly", retorts Envy with a mocking smirk and slams the door from outside which causes Edward and Winry to flinch. ,,Drongo!", hisses Winry.

OOO

,,You look so ridiculous!", remarks Elicia, who is wearing a 1980s-rocker-ballerina-outfit, in the meantime. Selim, who is wearing a sailor suit like those children in the nineteenth century used to do it, just snorts, before retorting: ,,And you? Who are you trying to imitate? Madonna or Boy George?" Elicia does not know what to answer.

But all of a sudden, she changes the strategy: ,,I'm sorry, Selim... The truth is that you look... Well... Quite... Handsome... In fact..." Selim answers with an astonished look. However, before he has the opportunity to return the compliment, Elicia just smirks schemingly and hastens away...

OOO

,, _Jessica Rabbit_ , right?", asks Ling Greed, who is wearing a _Neo_ -costume. Lust nods before asking: ,, _Neo_ from _The Matrix_ , right?" ,,Right. And oh my, you look so hot that it almost hurts." ,,Thank you. Likewise. _Brother_ ", chuckles Lust.

,,Uh right. Speaking of brothers. There is something, you should know", whispers Ling Greed into her ear. ,,Which is...?", asks Lust with a rather serious look. Ling Greed does not answer right away. But then: ,,Not here. Come with me." Lust obeys...

OOO

When Roy and Chris Mustang, who is dressed like a 1920s-lady with furs, walk arm in arm into the room, almost everyone looks up. ,,Who is that lady?", asks Rebecca, who is standing next to Sloth, Alex, Scar, Rose, Riza and Maes, who is wearing a _Saturday Night Fever_ -costume. ,,He merely asked whether he could bring somebody to the party, without mentioning a name", answers Sloth.

Doffing his hat, Roy rises to speak: ,,Good evening, friends. Please let me introduce this precious lady to you. This is _Madame Christmas_. _Madame Christmas_ , these are my friends Rebecca Catalina, Juliet Sloth Bradley, Alex Louis Armstrong, Scodran Khan, Rose Thomas, Riza Hawkeye and Maes Hughes."

,,Enchanté, Madame!", exults Alex and kisses Chris's gloved hand gently. ,,Would you look at that! He's a downright gentleman!", chuckles Chris. ,,And his elder sister is a downright lady", whispers Roy with a playful smirk.

OOO

In the meantime, Winry is informing her friends May, Alphonse, Edward, Catherine, Kimblee and Kain, who is wearing a _C-3PO_ -costume: ,,She's his foster-mother Chris Mustang. She owns a bar in New York City." The others answer with astonished looks.

Edward, on the other hand, startles all of a sudden. However, Kimblee is the only one who notices Ed's shocked look. ,,What is it?", he asks in a whisper. ,,A mother who will lose her child...!", whispers Ed hysterically. ,,So what? _D._ doesn't know about Chris Mustang", argues Kimblee. ,,No, you're wrong! _D._ does know about her, Kimblee!", answers Ed with a terrified look.

OOO

A few minutes later, he, Kimblee, Envy, Ling Greed and Lust meet in one of the many guest rooms. Impatiently, Lust rises to speak: ,,Greed was just about to tell me a secret when you texted us. So please hurry and just tell us what happened, Ed."

Ed does not answer which is why Kimblee rises to speak instead: ,,Nothing has happened, yet. But something will definitely happen. However, the question is whether Edward will be affected or Mustang. Because it turned out that _D._ knows about his mother Chris."

,,But how is that even possible?", asks Lust with a puzzled look. ,,That doesn't matter! Threatening my life is one thing but threatening others is unforgivable! Thus, we have to unmask that bitch! Now!", decides Ed with a determined look. Nobody answers at first.

But then, Lust rises to speak again: ,,Before we start, I have to tell you something..." ,,What is it?", asks Ed impatiently. ,,It just occurred to me that you and Mustang aren't the only potential _human sacrifices_... There are two more potential victims...", begins Lust. ,,Who?", asks Kimblee with composure. ,,One of them is Sloth... The other one is Winry...", continues Lust.

Ed is obviously confused: ,,But that's nonsense! I mean, their mothers are already dead! Therefore, they don't fulfill the conditions! Unless...!" ,,Unless _what_?", asks Ling Greed relaxedly. ,,They are pregnant", concludes Envy with composure. Kimblee and Ed are both speechless at that moment.

Eventually, it is Ling Greed, who breaks the silence: ,,Congratulations, daddy Elric." ,,Or daddy Kimblee", chuckles Envy mischievously. Only now, Ed rises to speak again: ,,That doesn't matter at the moment!" ,,He's right. We have to focus on tonight's happenings now", interposes Kimblee.

However, Ling Greed points out: ,,But how are we supposed to unmask him or her? The only thing we know for sure is that _D._ is neither Lan Fan nor Lyra and Rose." ,,No, they are not the only ones who can be crossed off the list. Envy is innocent, too", announces Ed. ,,How do you know that?", asks Ling Greed with a raised brow.

,,He and I got into a fight on Halloween, only a few seconds after the _Queen Of Hearts_ had vanished", answers Ed. Envy discreetly sighs with relief because for a moment, he thought that Ed would reveal the _White Rabbit_ -secret. ,,What about our teachers?", asks Ling Greed. ,,I talked to Olivier and Mustang. They all were at Havoc's party on Halloween", answers Ed.

,,And Pride, father, Trisha and Elicia were busy with their tour through Resembool", adds Lust. ,,What about Fu?", asks Kimblee nonchalantly. ,,Please", reply his friends in unison. ,,Great. The only ones who remain are Winry, Alphonse, May, Catherine, Kain, Kimblee, Greed and I", mutters Lust. ,,And Envy and Ed", adds Greed. ,,Are you nuts?", asks Ed with gritted teeth.

,,What? Anything is possible. After all, _D._ first started that sick game after you had moved here", retorts Greed relaxedly. ,,No, guys! We just _have_ to believe in each other's innocence! Otherwise, we won't achieve anything!", answers Ed with a determined look.

,,Wow, wait a sec. Is it just me or do you boys also think that Ed has something in mind?", asks Lust with a conspiratorial smirk. Ed's hush speaks volumes. ,,No, he definitely has something in mind", answers Envy with a scheming smirk.

,,Come on, mate. Shoot", commands Ling Greed with composure. ,,Guys, please! That idea is just insane, to say the least!", intervenes Edward. ,, _Insane_ , huh? We're all ears", announces Kimblee relaxedly. Ed gulps. But finally, he reveals his idea...

OOO

Meanwhile, Roy watches his foster-mother dancing with Fu, who is also dressed like a 1920s-gentleman. ,,When did that start?", asks Winry with an amused smirk. ,,Whisky is her drug. Whisky and men", answers Roy with a disdainful smirk.

,,Come on...! Don't say that...!", murmurs Winry with a sad look. However, their conversation gets abruptly interrupted by her mobile phone. ,,Who is it?", asks Roy. ,,My brother...!", answers Winry with a puzzled look.

OOO

,,Brother...?" _,,Listen, Winry! We don't have much time! Take Roy and come outside, as fast as you can! Don't talk to anybody else and act normal, understood?"_ ,,Brother...! I don't understand...!" _,,I'll explain everything! But just do what I said! I'm waiting for you!"_ And just like that, Jean hangs up. Winry is completely confused. Yet, she decides to obey.

OOO

,,What the hell is going on?", asks Roy after he and Winry got in Jean's car. ,,Havoc, is that you?", he asks, after he has recognised the driver. Instead of answering them, Jean just drives off. ,,Wow, wait a sec, brother! We can't just go away, we're going to miss the countdown!", intervenes Winry. ,,I don't care!", answers Jean in a nutshell and starts driving faster...

OOO

Meanwhile, Sloth is talking to Olivier, who is wearing a _Venus_ -costume, and to M. Garfiel, who is wearing a _Sonny Crockett_ -costume: ,,You two look gorgeous! See, Olivier? It isn't that dramatic, is it?" Olivier's only answer is a snort.

Suddenly, Sloth gets a text. ,,Excuse me...", she murmurs before clicking on the virtual envelope. _,,I know your secret. Poor Alex. Looks like your future sister-in-law has every right to despise you. But nothing is lost yet. You still can prevent me from telling everybody that Juliet Sloth Bradley is a slut. You can find me in the back garden. Let's have a chit-chat. Kisses, D."_ Sloth is shocked...

OOO

A few seconds later, Lan Fan, who is dressed like a hip-hop dancer, watches Sloth entering the back garden. She, on the other hand, is standing in one of the guest rooms. ,,She took the bait", she announces with a triumphant smirk. ,,Well done, love", answers Kimblee with a nasty smirk and cautiously hugs her from behind.

,,Winry, Roy and Sloth are out of the way." ,,Precisely, love." ,,Now what?" ,,Well. Now, we can end that game", answers Kimblee with a conspiratorial smirk. Afterwards, he pushes her against the wall and kisses her, while simultaneously giving her a gun. Meanwhile, the radio downstairs is playing Lana Del Rey's _Kill Kill_...

OOO

 _Amestris, New Year's Eve, 11:59 p.m._

Loudly and joyfully, the guests in the Armstrong mansion are counting down the last seconds: ,,TEN! NINE! EIGHT! SEVEN! SIX! FIVE! FOUR! THREE! TWO! ONE!" And just when they are about to welcome 2017, they suddenly hear loud shots which is why they synchronously start screaming, while seven armed persons with balaclavas are entering the living room.

Every door is locked. Nobody can escape. ,,ON THE FLOOR! AND MOBILE PHONES ON THE GROUND! NOW!", commands the tallest person among the seven criminals. Nobody recognises Roa. In a split second, nineteen guests as well as five servants kneel down and chuck their phones on the ground, whereupon five of the other armed and hooded persons tie each guest up.

,,Here are the rules!", announces the seventh armed person, who has a female voice. ,,My partners are going to look for something! None of you will move until we're through with it! Otherwise, we'll shoot and kill all of you! Understood? Good!" Nobody recognises Paninya.

OOO

Meanwhile, Edward, Lust and Envy are carefully observing the shivering guests from their hideout. ,,Who is it?", asks Lust in a whisper. ,,No idea, it could be anybody", answers Envy, also in a whisper. ,,Elicia is crying! I have to intervene!", decides Ed. ,,No, not yet! I have an idea!", whispers Lust and starts typing.

OOO

A few seconds later, Martel, who is also among the hooded figures, gets Lust's text. Within seconds, she seizes Elicia by the collar and points a gun at her. ,,NO! ELICIA!", shouts Maes hysterically. ,,Calm down! This is just a precaution!", clarifies Martel before whispering the following words into Elicia's ear: ,,Don't say anything and don't nod! Just listen! You're safe, this is just a game!"

OOO

,,Better?", asks Lust in a whisper. ,,No! Now, her father is crying!", whispers Edward nervously. ,,Hush! Both of you!", hisses Envy. ,,Lan Fan texted! She found something!", he then announces. Lust and Ed answer with astonished looks. ,,Envy, hold the fort! Lust and I will go!", decides Ed.

OOO

A few minutes later, Lust and Edward enter the hall, where Lan Fan, who is also holding a gun, is already waiting for them. ,,The wardrobe?", asks Lust with a confused look. ,,Exactly. Look, what I've found in one of the pockets", chuckles Lan Fan and shows them both _D.'s_ jacket and the burner phone. ,,But whose jacket is this?", asks Lust.

,,All I know is that this is a woman's jacket", answers Lan Fan. ,,Hence, _D._ must be a woman. But Olivier and Cat are innocent since they live here and thus wouldn't leave their jackets in the guests' wardrobe", concludes Ed. ,,I'll inform Roa and the others!", announces Lust. Edward nods. ,,Good! And tell them that we need Riza Hawkeye's keys!" Lust and Lan Fan answer with inquiring looks.

OOO

,,Change of plans!", announces Dolcetto one minute later. ,,We'll escort the men, the service staff and the hosts upstairs! The other women will stay here!", he continues. ,,No! I'll stay with my daughter!", hisses Maes. ,,Fine! But no more exceptions!", clarifies Martel.

,,What about my granddaughters?", asks Fu furiously. ,,Don't worry, old man! Everyone will be fine as long as nobody causes problems!", declares Martel coldly. ,,Grandpa, it's okay!", reassures May with a weak smile. Fu hesitates. But finally, he gives in.

OOO

A few seconds later, Roa, Dolcetto, Martel and Ling Greed escort the staff as well as Olivier, Catherine, King, Selim, Scar, Fu, Kain, Al, Garfiel and Alex upstairs, while Paninya and Kimblee stay in the living room with Chris, Rebecca, Rose, Lyra, Riza, Trisha, May Elicia and Maes.

This time, Paninya rises to speak: ,,Very good! Let's go on! Miss! Tell me where your keys are!" ,,You can find them in my bag", answers Riza with a fearless look. Within seconds, Kimblee grabs the keys and leaves...

OOO

Meanwhile, Ed enters the higher storey where the service staff, the men, Olivier and Cat are kneeling on the floor. ,,Enough, guys! It's time to tell them what's going on!", decides Ed. Roa, Dolcetto, Martel and Ling Greed do not react at first.

But then, Greed removes his balaclava. Olivier, Catherine, King, Selim, Scar, Fu, Kain, Al, Garfiel, Alex and even the servants are shocked. ,,We can explain everything!", reassures Greed. ,,We're all ears!", grunts Olivier with a furious look.

OOO

Almost thirty minutes later, Kimblee, Lan Fan and Black Hayate enter the room where the women are forced to stay. ,,Hey! Why did you bring my dog here?", asks Riza angrily. Only now, Kimblee and Lan Fan remove their balaclavas. Rebecca, Rose, Lyra, Riza, Trisha, May, Elicia and Maes are shocked. Chris Mustang, on the other hand, is confused.

,,Thanks for your participation. You're free to go now", whispers Lan Fan into Paninya's ear. Paninya nods, hands her gun over to Lan Fan and exits the room. ,,Okay, what on earth is going on here, _cousin_?", asks May with a furious look. ,,Speak!", commands Riza. ,,Okay. First off, nobody will get harmed. Nobody except for _D._ ", announces Lan Fan. ,,Who the hell is that?", asks Rebecca.

,,We'll see!", answers Ed who has just come out of nowhere. ,,Edward...! You, too...?", asks Trisha with a sad look. ,,I'm sorry, mom...! We had no choice...!", murmurs Edward, before handing the jacket over to Lan Fan.

A few seconds later, Black Hayate finally barks at Rose Thomas. ,,No freaking way...!", whispers Lan Fan with a shocked look. The others are as shocked as she is. Especially Ed: ,,But... Why...?" Rose does not answer. ,,Shoot!", commands Kimblee and – ironically – points a gun at Rose.

,,Wait, what are you doing?", intervenes Trisha with a panic-stricken look. ,,I'm sorry that it has to end this way but that bitch has to be punished somehow!", answers Kimblee, voice calm but look hateful. ,,Kimblee, stop! We won't kill her!", clarifies Ed.

,,At least not before she hasn't told us why she tried to poison me", interposes Lan Fan nonchalantly. ,,Too late, love! I'm going to kill that bitch! Right now!", announces Kimblee. Everyone starts screaming instantly. Everyone, except for Solf, Lan Fan, Ed and one other person.

Only now, Greed, Lust and Envy suddenly enter the room. ,,Wow. Good timing, guys", remarks Lan Fan dryly. ,,Thanks", replies Ling Greed with a naughty smirk. Afterwards, Kimblee rises to speak again: ,,Well done, Greed. Now, escort _D._ to your car. I know a good place for a chit-chat."

,,Dammit! What is happening here?", asks Rebecca with a thoroughly frightened look. ,,That's none of your business", hisses Lust. ,,Don't worry! You are free to go! All of you! The others are already waiting for you upstairs!", announces Ed and starts untiying their wrists.

Chris, Rebecca, May, Maes and Elicia exit the room, whereas Rose, Riza and Trisha stay voluntarily. Meanwhile, Lyra's wrists haven't been untied yet. Therefore, she calmly addresses herself to Edward: ,,You forgot somebody, young man."

,,Not at all!", retorts Ed nonchalantly, before suddenly pointing a gun at her. ,,Edward! What are you doing?", asks Trisha with a panic-stricken look. However, Ed just ignores his mother and addresses himself to Lyra instead: ,,When Kimblee pretended to kill Rose, everyone panicked. Except for you. Her own mother. Interesting, isn't it?"

,,I have no idea, what you're talking about", answers Lyra with composure. ,,Edward, put the gun down!", commands Riza. ,,Come on, let's take her and go somewhere else. We can't talk to her while a cop is being around", hisses Envy. ,,No, you won't go anywhere!", clarifies Riza.

,,Hey, where have you been when that bitch burnt down his house and tried to poison Lan Fan, huh?", asks Lust with an annoyed look. ,,Leave us alone!", hisses Envy. Riza does not answer right away. But then: ,,Fine. I'll give you some privacy. But you will give me your guns in return."

Nobody answers at first. But after a while, Edward, Lan Fan and Kimblee hand their guns over to Riza. Only now, Riza exits the room, too. ,,Come on, let's go. Father and the others will meet us there", whispers Envy before blindfolding Lyra and covering her mouth with another black scarf.

,,Wait, what are you going to do to her?", asks Rose with a terrified look. ,,Why do you even care? She was totally indifferent, when Kimblee pretended to kill you", argues Envy. ,,She's still my mother! Therefore, I also deserve to learn the truth!", sobs Rose. ,,Sorry. But victims first", retorts Greed and carries Lyra away. Solf, Lan Fan, Envy, Lust and Ed follow him. And so does Trisha...

OOO-OOO

 _Amestris, January 1999_

It is a rainy day in Amestris. Lyra is sitting in a pub. The radio is playing that one song she used to listen to when she and Van Hohenheim were happy. Listening to that song has been her only hobby ever since. Van Hohenheim has never cheated on her. It has rather been the other way round. His so far only son has been conceived one night, after Van Hohenheim had found out the truth about Lyra.

After his trip to San Francisco, he decided to give Lyra a second chance. But since he has never completely forgotten Trisha, he finally decided to take her back instead of his former partner. Therefore, Lyra is alone.

,,It's sad, isn't it? I'm talking about this song. It's melancholic and the perfect symphony to express your failure", whispers Father Hohenheim who has just come out of nowhere. ,,Leave me alone, Father", mutters Lyra. ,,I'd love to. But I'm afraid, we have to talk."

,,Too late, Hohenheim. Your brother made his decision. And you have to accept that he will never join your sect." ,, _My_ sect? If any, it's _our_ sect. You're a member, too, remember? Besides, I made you rich." Lyra chuckles mockingly. ,,No, that wasn't you, Hohenheim. Mr Yao and that Greek man, whose name I've already forgotten, made me rich by paying me for sex."

,,Don't say that. We both know that you are no prostitute. _Eyes like gold and eyes like amethyst. And the seventh child will be the chosen one._ That's the prophecy, I've been told by God when he revealed himself to me in a dream, many years go. According to that, I am the _Holy Father_ and you are the _Holy Mother_." ,,No. I'm not. I'm merely a human incubator. And an undercover lover."

,, _Undercover_ , huh? Well, you were very convincing. A little too convincing. You didn't just pretend. You actually _did_ fall in love with my brother, didn't you? And just because of that, you'd stopped focusing which is why you failed in the end." ,,And whose fault is that? You were the man I wanted! But you chose to live like a cleric!"

,,Not a cleric, dear. A _God_. Therefore, I'm not allowed to be in a relationship. But I tried to make it up to you by introducing my twin to you. And it helped for the moment. At least, until he found out _what_ you really are." ,,And _what_ is that?"

,,A woman who'd do anything for money. You may be the _Holy Mother_. But other than me, you will never be godlike. After all, you're way too materialistic." ,,I love him..." ,,No, you don't. Which is convenient since he will _never_ truly love you, anyhow. He decided to be with that other woman instead." ,,If so... I just have to kill him. That way, neither of us will be with him."

,,Well. Be my guest. All I ask you to do is to bear five more children. Your next client is even richer than _that Greek man, whose name you've already forgotten_. He's a firm owner from Moscow. Handsome and sophisticated." ,,But?" ,,Nothing. You will certainly enjoy it."

,,What if I refuse your offer?" Father Hohenheim chuckles mockingly. ,,Oh dear. This is not an _offer_. This is an _order_. You joined the sect voluntarily. Therefore, refusing anything means losing everything, do not ever forget that."

OOO-OOO

 _Amestris, January 2017_

,,How poetic", remarks Lyra sarcastically when she finds herself in the basement of the Bradley house. Wrath, Sloth, Greed, Lust, Envy, Pride, Kimblee, Lan Fan and Edward are standing infront of the chair she has been tied to. ,,Where is Trisha?", asks Lyra with a mocking smirk. ,,She's not here!", answers Ed, voice calm but look furious. ,,Of course, she is", chuckles Lyra.

Only now, Trisha comes out of hiding. ,,Mom! Why are you here?", asks Edward with a puzzled look. ,,Isn't it obvious? She also wants to learn the truth", answers Lyra with a mischievous smirk. ,,Am I right? _Trisha_?", asks Lyra with a disdainful look.

Trisha does not answer verbally. Instead, she just nods silently. ,,Fine. Be my guest. Because in the end, your presence makes perfect sense. Unlike Juliet Sloth's and Miss Chang's participation." ,,Are you nuts, Lady? You tried to kill me, remember?", grunts Lan Fan.

,,Yet you're nothing but a human collateral damage. My actual target was that German gentleman, who's standing next to you", reveals Lyra nonchalantly. ,,Why is that, huh? Did I kill somebody, you loved?", asks Kimblee with composure.

,,Not at all, dear. If any, I am the killer here. I mean, I murdered Father Hohenheim as well as every member of his sect, for instance. Except for Clemin. That bastard just left the country." ,,Oh my... You are the last member, aren't you...?", asks King Wrath with an astonished look. ,,Precisely", answers Lyra in a nutshell.

,,Wait, what are you even talking about?", asks Lust with a confused look. ,,Well, that's a long story, dear", retorts Lyra with a conspiratorial smirk. ,,We're all ears", announces Ling Greed relaxedly. ,,Good to know. Let's start with Father Hohenheim. When he was young, he had a dream. A dream he regarded as an epiphany", begins Lyra.

Nobody interrupts her which is why she just continues: ,,Ever since, he's believed that he was a godlike being. The _Holy Father with eyes like gold_ who had to find the _Holy Mother with eyes like amethyst that will bear seven children_. And the seventh child would serve as Father Hohenheim's key to _God's gate_ and as a consequence thereof to immortality."

,,So you killed him because of that nonsense he had been babbling?", asks Lan Fan nonchalantly. ,,Well. To be honest, the Gold-Toothed Doctor and I were the first members. Father hired him because they had common interests. Both of them were eager to attain immortality _._ Long before he met Father, _Gold-Tooth_ had even started to do experiments on children to achieve that."

,,What kind of experiments?", asks Ed with a distraught mien. ,,Ask your headmaster", retorts Lyra with a mischievous smirk. ,,What is she talking about, father?", asks Sloth with a confused look. ,,She's talking about anything irrelevant, in order to confuse us", answers King Wrath with composure. ,,Stop waisting our time, Lyra. Just tell us your story", commands Wrath calmly.

Or leastwise, he appears to be calm. However, his hands are slightly shaking. ,,As you wish, darling. When I was young, I only had three wishes. Money, beauty and an immortal life. Back then, I was quite poor and people used to avoid me because of my eye colour. However, according to Father Hohenheim's prophecy, I am the _Holy Mother_."

,,But your eyes are brown, aren't they?", asks Lust with a confused look. ,,No, darling. They are like yours. Because, Solaris, you and your siblings are _my_ children", reveals Lyra with an angelic smile that is completely out of character. The others cannot believe their ears. ,,No, you're lying!", hisses Juliet Sloth.

,,Sorry to say, but I'm not. But don't worry. Other than your siblings, you are Wrath's and Quinn's biological child." ,,But who is the fifth one then...? Gluttony...!", murmurs Lust with a shocked look. ,,You loved him, didn't you?", asks Lyra with a sad look, before adding: ,,I'm sorry for your loss, dear. Believe me, I loved him, too..." Deafening silence.

But eventually, Lyra breaks the silence: ,,And even though he's never been my favourite child, I was quite upset, when I found out that you killed him, Selim, darling." Reflexively, Selim backs away from her and embraces Sloth. ,,Coward", mutters Lyra with a mocking smirk. ,,Go on!", commands Edward coldly.

Lyra rolls her eyes. Yet she obeys: ,,Father Hohenheim wanted someone particular to join his sect. And it was my duty to betray that person into becoming a member. I did, what I was asked to. But unfortunately, love got in the way. Then the truth. Because one day, he found out, what I'd been up to, ended our partly insincere and partly sincere relationship and impregnated another woman..."

Lyra pauses and sighs theatrically. ,,He decided to give me a second chance, though. But once again, love got in the way. However, not his love for me but for that other woman. And that child, she has abandoned. Either way, he was gone which is why I decided to bear my next child. But for the first time in my life... I didn't want to sell it... I loved it too much..."

Lyra pauses once again. But then: ,,Which is why I wanted to start a life without anyone, except for my son. But Father Hohenheim wouldn't let me live like that. One thing led to another until he got me institutionalised one day. His sick game went on. Two more pregnancies. Selim's father was a donor from Turkey. I never met him. Porter's father, on the other hand, preferred the _direct_ _way_."

,,Violation, in other words", adds Kimblee nonchalantly. ,,Precisely. Anyway, the fifth child was born. Almost six years passed but for some reason I haven't gotten pregnant. Then, one day, I learnt of Gluttony's death. That was the day I decided to escape. And to kill that person who's been responsible for my son's death. One of the nurses intervened and accidentally fell down the stairs."

,,Gracia Hughes...!", murmurs Ed with a shocked look. ,,Yes. It was a tragic accident. I never meant to kill that innocent woman. The only person, I've been eager to kill, was your precious wife, Wrath", hisses Lyra with a mischievous smirk. Deafening silence.

But all of a sudden, Ling Greed whips a gun out. The others exhale with shock. ,,Greed, don't!", shouts Ed. ,,Shut up! That woman deserves to be killed! She murdered my mother!", hisses Ling Greed with a hateful look. ,, _I_ am your mother, Greed!", declares Lyra with a motherly smile. ,,No, you're not! You're just a worthless slut who sold her own children!", retorts Ling Greed furiously.

,,Greed, please don't do that...! Your mother wouldn't have wanted that to happen...!", intervenes Trisha and touches his shoulder cautiously. Ling Greed hesitates. But after a while he slowly lowers his arm. Trisha smiles angelically while cautiously taking the gun.

,,Oh. Lovely Trisha saved the day", chuckles Lyra with a mocking smirk. ,,Hey, don't you dare! My mother is inviolable!", hisses Ed with gritted teeth. ,,Is that so? Because, if you ask me, she's nothing but a merciless maneater who steals other women's fiancés!", hisses Lyra with a hate-filled mien. The others answer with shocked looks.

Only now, Trisha realises: ,,That perfume...! That music...! It's you...! You are... Dante...!" ,, _D._...!", murmur the others in unison. ,,Congratulations, darling. You finally solved the riddle", hisses Dante with a vicious smirk. Deafening silence.

But eventually, Trisha breaks the silence: ,,You have to believe me, Dante...! When he and I met... I didn't know about any other woman in his life...!" ,,I bet, you didn't", snorts Dante. Trisha is visibly ashamed. And although she is telling the truth, Dante is absolutely not willing to believe her.

Trisha gulps before hesitatingly asking: ,,You murdered him, didn't you...?" ,,Oh, trust me, I wanted to. However, I wasn't the only one who wanted to see him dead." ,,Father Hohenheim...!", murmurs Ed with a shocked look. ,,Well. Yes. Still, he didn't kill his twin." ,,Then who did it?", asks Trisha with wet eyes. ,,I wish, I knew", answers Dante with a conspiratorial smirk. Nobody answers.

This time, Lan Fan decides to break the silence: ,,So, you thought that Trisha ruined your relationship. Is that why you burned down her house?" ,,Yes and no. I mean, I definitely love to see Trisha suffer. Trisha and her youngest son, who looks exactly like her. However, there are those two other boys, I hate all the more." ,,Edward and me", adds Kimblee relaxedly.

,,Exactly", answers Dante in a nutshell. ,,But why...?", asks Ed with a confused look. ,,Because you're terrorising my favourite child!", hisses Dante with a hateful look. The others are quite astonished. Especially Envy. Yet, it is Ed, who asks the following question: ,,Wait, are you talking about Envy?" ,,Of course, you bloody bastard!", hisses Dante.

,,Hey, don't insult my son!", intervenes Trisha with an upset look. However, Dante just ignores her: ,,Besides, you two look exactly like your goddamned father!" The others answer with thoroughly puzzled looks. Especially Trisha, Edward and Solf.

Dante laughs mockingly. ,,Isn't it ironic, my dear _human sacrifice_? You terrorised so many immigrants even though you're half German and half Azerbaijani-American. And what's even funnier is that you used to attack people you considered to be unwelcome, although you are the one who has never been welcome anywhere."

Kimblee discreetly gulps before relaxedly asking: ,,How did I end up here, anyway?" Dante shrugs. ,,I have no idea. Ask your mother, darling." ,,My mother? That's hilarious", chuckles Kimblee mockingly. ,,Solf...!", murmurs Trisha cautiously.

But Kimblee just ignores her and changes the subject: ,,What about Rose?" ,,What about her?", asks Dante, her voice and look thoroughly indifferent. ,,How come that your burner phone has been found in her pocket?", asks Lan Fan calmly. ,,Rose has never been my ally, just so you know", clarifies Dante. But Greed points out: ,,There's no way you did all this without any help, bitch!"

,,Oh, I did have help. By my one and only friend, who's currently out of town. Rose is innocent. I guess, that burner phone just ended up in her pocket because she had found out the truth and hence tried to somehow stop me from ending my game tonight. Silly girl." ,, _Silly girl..._? I thought, you loved her...!", murmurs Trisha with a shocked look.

,,I know, dear. Rose thought that, too. Or perhaps, she's still thinking that. But the truth is that I never loved anyone except for those heartless twins and my third child. Rose, on the other hand, could die right here and yet I wouldn't care at all. Well, darling. Looks like you're not the only mother who tends to abandon her children." ,,Shut up, hag!", hisses Ling Greed with gritted teeth.

Dante answers with malicious laughter. But all of a sudden, she falls silent. Not voluntarily, though: Only a few seconds ago, her neck has been pierced by a knife. A deafening crack, earpiercing screams and tons of blood – that is how Dante's story ends...

 **Well, well, well. That was it so far. Thank you so much for reading and also for reviewing!**

 **What I'd love to know now is what you think about the revelation. Was it a surprise for you or had you already guessed it before? Were you happy with it or rather disappointed? Is everything clear or do you still have questions? Just tell me what you think/ask me anything (:**

 **For the rest: Next chapter will be named after Lana's song _Radio_**

 **Kisses, PinkChocolateGlitter (;**


	26. Radio

**Disclaimer: I don't own the mentioned brand names, the song titles and I also don't own Fullmetal Alchemist (c'est dommage...)!**

 **Information:**

Before we move to the real story, I want to explain a few things ahead, that don't need to be necessarily read but I personally feel like they could be sort of important to the readers.

Content: There will be flashbacks in this chapter. Other than that, be prepared for more answers (;

Character: _Special Guest Stars_ Focker, Van Hohenheim and Father.

Victim: The _human sacrifices_ are Father Hohenheim (†), the Gold-Toothed Doctor (†), Storch (†), Jean Havoc and Solf J. Kimblee. Father Hohenheim as well as all the members of his sect are all dead, except for Clemin, who won't be relevant anymore. Quinn Bradley has been killed by _D._ whereas Gracia Hughes' death has been an accident, also caused by Dante. However, Van Hohenheim has  NOT been killed by her. Dante had one ally.

Allusion: Remember how Brotherhood-Rose is holding a gun? Good. Besides, I'm sure that none of you missed the allusion to Dante's song in the earlier chapters (;

Location: The pub that will be mentioned is the same one as in the series. The one where Maes and Roy are having drinks. And that snack bar, Lust, Envy and Gluttony are sitting in will also be mentioned (Both locations can be seen in the FMA-03-version).

Everything is said for now, so let's move to the story!

 **Sunshine Corazon**

 **\- Chapter 26: Radio -**

 _Amestris, January 2007_

,,Hallo, mein Bruder." Van Hohenheim does not answer. ,,Excuse me, I completely forgot. You're an _American_ now, aren't you?", chuckles Father while lighting up the candles. Right now, he and his twin are standing in the _Leto Church_. ,,Don't get me wrong, _brother_. But I'm not that interested in small talk. Just tell me where my son is." ,,Which one? For all I know, you have at least three."

,,You know which one! The one, you kidnapped back then!" ,,Why do you think that I would kidnap my own nephew?", asks Father with composure. ,,Because I found out that _Gold-Tooth_ has been working at that hospital in San Francisco when Trisha gave birth to him! And speaking of that – how is it even possible that you had known about her pregnancy?"

,,Well. To be honest, I followed you that night." ,,What the hell?" ,,Shame on you, brother. This is a house of God." ,,Hey, don't change the subject!" Father sighs theatrically. ,,Fine. The truth is that I wasn't quite happy with your spontaneous trip to America which is why I decided to keep an eye on you back then. I saw you visiting all the places from our past. Including our former house."

Father narrows his eyes before continuing: ,,That house that had been occupied by that woman, you fell in love with." ,,That's how she and I met..." ,,Very romantic, brother mine. Anyway. The moment, I saw you two dancing in that bar we'd used to go as young teenagers, I knew what was going to happen. But when you decided to give Dante a second chance, I forgot Trisha. Until..."

,,Until _when_ , huh?" ,,Until Dante found that photograph of you and your brunette. She thought that you were having an affair with her which is why I flew to San Francisco to get rid of that problem. However, it turned out that there have been _two_ problems to get rid of." ,,You seriously planned on killing her? You goddamned bastard!", hisses Van Hohenheim with a hateful look.

,, _Killing her_? Please. Of course, I planned on kidnapping her", reveals Father nonchalantly. ,,But it's not that simple to kidnap a grown-up woman. Besides, I had a better idea. After having kidnapped your son, I can now force both of you to join the sect. But if I had kidnapped your lover instead, you would be the only new member. Hence, I can kill two birds with one stone."

,,Just so you know! None of us will join your sect! Ever!" ,,Well, that's too bad. And I thought you came here to get your son back." ,,Oh, I will get him back as soon as the police will hear _this_! Trust me!", hisses Van Hohenheim before suddenly whipping a flask out and knocking his twin unconscious. Afterwards, Van Hohenheim hastens away, a dictation machine in his hand...

OOO-OOO

 _Amestris, January 2017_

,,Rose...! What have you done...?", asks Edward with a distraught mien. Rose does not answer. Instead, she just drops the blood-stained knife, falls down on her knees and starts crying. Trisha cautiously hugs her in order to soothe her while Sloth takes Selim and quickly exits the room.

,,Well. Leastwise, she's wearing gloves", interposes Kimblee, who is thoroughly relaxed. ,,What the hell...?", asks Edward with a puzzled look. ,,Kimblee is right. That girl won't go to prison. She did us a favour", intervenes Ling Greed with composure. ,,What do you have in mind, son?", asks Wrath of all people. For a moment, everyone is speechless.

But finally, Lan Fan rises to speak: ,,How about self-defense? Rose standed right next to her when she killed her. Thus, all we have to do is to make the rope disappear and shoot someone in the arm." ,,Not bad, Chang", remarks Ling Greed dryly. ,,But we have two problems now! First off, that woman could have installed cameras in this house! Second off, she had an ally!", interposes Ed.

,,Perhaps, I can help...!", intervenes Rose. ,,Why? What else do you know?", asks Kimblee. ,,I know where her secret hideout is...!", answers Rose. Her body is shivering and her eyes are swollen. ,,All right, then. Rose, Lan Fan, Edward, Solf and Greed – you are going to drive to that place so you can make sure that those last minutes haven't been recorded anywhere", decides Wrath.

Afterwards, he addresses himself to Trisha: ,,You are going to go for a walk with Selim, Envy and Lust. Make sure that many people will see you so you will have an alibi." ,,What about you and Sloth?", asks Greed relaxedly. ,,Sloth is going to call the police and tell them what happened... That Lyra shot me in the arm and that I threw a knife at her", answers Wrath calmly.

,,No, you can't do that!", intervenes Rose. ,,She's right, father", agrees Sloth who has just come out of nowhere. ,,You are a man. Nobody will see you in a victim's position which is why you shouldn't be here officially. I, on the other hand, am a pregnant woman", argues Sloth. ,,No, I won't allow that!", clarifies Wrath.

,,But that would make perfect sense. The fifth _human sacrifice_ is supposed to be a mother", interposes Kimblee. ,,Besides, Trisha and I look so much alike that they'll probably assume that Lyra hated me for that", adds Sloth. ,,But -", begins Wrath. However, he gets interrupted by Sloth: ,,Go with Trisha and the others. They need their father at the moment."

OOO

,,Tell us what happened!", commands Officer Focker coldly while the bullet is getting removed from Sloth's arm. ,,Sh-she s-said sh-she w-wanted t-to t-talk t-to m-me i-in p-private...! O-otherwise sh-she w-would n-not h-have t-told u-us a-anything...! Sh-she h-had a g-gun a-and a knife...! Sh-she w-wanted t-to k-kill m-my b-baby...! I t-took th-the knife a-and th-threw i-it...! I'm s-so s-sorry...!"

Suddenly, Sloth starts crying again. ,,M-my b-baby...! S-save m-my b-baby...!", she sobs. ,,Now what, Sir?", asks Focker in a whisper. ,,Self-defense. Let's just forget what she did and rather focus on _D._ ", decides Heymans Breda. Focker nods...

OOO

Meanwhile, Ling Greed, Edward and Kimblee are entering a small flat in the Xing Street. Their clothes are black, their hands gloved and their faces masked. That flat is Dante's secret hideout: Walls full of pictures, technical devices, notepads, burner phones, costumes, masks, gloves, weapons and a vintage radio.

OOO

,,How did you find out about that place?", asks Lan Fan in the meantime. Right now, she and Rose are standing in flat 2a and snipping her blood-stained costume. ,,Three days ago, I coincidentally overheard a weird phone conversation which is why I secretly followed her, yesterday. After I'd seen her entering that flat, I stole her keys and duplicated them", summarises Rose.

,,Clever", remarks Lan Fan dryly. ,,Well... Unfortunately, I didn't have enough time to go there which is why I searched for anything suspicious in her room, instead. I found that burner phone, two tickets to Buenos Aires as well as a photograph of Father Hohenheim and another one of Ivan Envy Bradley..." ,,She planned on escaping and wanted to take Envy with her..." ,,Probably..."

,,But why did you steal her burner phone?" ,,Because I had no idea what she was up to... I was helpless and just acted impulsively... When I watched her tonight, I didn't witness anything suspicious... Until I saw her _reaction_ when Solf almost shot me dead..." Deafening silence. But then: ,,I'm sorry, Rose..." Rose answers with a sob.

OOO

In the meantime, Trisha, Lust, Envy and Selim are sitting in a snack bar. While Lust and Selim are standing infront of the counter, Trisha and Envy are already sitting at one of the tables. ,,Are you all right, Envy...?", asks Trisha cautiously. ,,Honest answer?", asks Envy with a disdainful look. ,,Yes... Just tell me, what's on your mind..."

Suddenly, Envy grabs one of the butter knifes and starts to reel it slowly. ,,That bitch killed her own mother with a bloody knife. Because after all, human life is cheap. She was such a strong woman. Strong enough, to kill the so-called _Holy Father_. Yet she didn't manage to kill that cheap copy of his. I guess, emotions got in the way. I'm sure, I could have done it easily. Killing Van Hohenheim."

,,What...?" ,,You heard me." ,,Please... This is not like you, Envy..." Envy snorts scornfully. ,,You have no idea. You know? I'm not Greed. I don't crave for materialistic nonsense. All I want is that one thing, only Lyra was willing to give me. And now she's gone. For good."

,,Envy... I'm so sorry...!", murmurs Trisha and is just about to touch his hand when he abruptly removes it from the table. ,,Don't touch me!", hisses Envy with a disdainful look. ,,Okay...! But please, Envy...! Let me be there for you...!" ,, _You_? Pah. That's hilarious", snorts Envy. ,,Envy, I -!"

,,For God's sake, do me that favour and just stop talking. I'm not in the mood for your pathetic speeches about motherly love. Especially not after I learnt what you'd done. You and your impertinent spawn ruined my life. Mine and Kimblee's. You turned us into maniacs. And yet you two are pretending to be the good guys. But don't think that I'm blind." ,,What...?"

,,Oh please. Who are you trying to fool, huh? I know exactly that you're trying to seduce my father. I'm just glad that Quinn is dead because otherwise you probably would have destroyed their marriage, too. But frankly, I couldn't care less. Because after all, none of you two are my mothers. I don't have a mother. Not anymore. All I have, is my hatred for your family and for mine."

OOO

A few hours later, Edward, Kimblee and Ling Greed knock on Rose's door. ,,So?", asks Lan Fan in a whisper, since Rose is already sleeping. ,,We put masks and gloves on before we entered the building and we didn't speak in case she has installed cameras anywhere", reports Ling Greed, who is visibly exhausted.

,,And what did you find?", asks Lan Fan next. ,,That bitch has placed cameras in Scar's living room, Havoc's office, Mustang's office, Trish's bedroom, Ed's bedroom, Cat's bedroom, Kimblee's bedroom, Sloth's bedroom, our father's home office and my bedroom. But not one in our basement which is quite convenient", answers Ling Greed relaxedly.

,,Yet that means that she had known most of our plans before we put them into action. I'm just glad that she didn't make use of bugging devices, too", grunts Ed. ,,Uh and that document that certified Gluttony's adoption was a fake, by the way", interposes Kimblee with composure.

,,And the baby things have never been his. Dante bought them a few months ago and just added his initials", adds Ed with an annoyed look. ,,What about her only ally? And did she have other _burner apartments_?", asks Lan Fan.

,,We read her credit card billings. Apparently, she didn't have another secret hideout. However, she did hire someone who is actually living in that _burner apartment_. And that someone also burnt down my house and informed Dante whenever he or she has seen something interesting on-screen", answers Ed grumpily.

,,Wait and you have no idea who that one person is?", asks Lan Fan with an astonished look. ,,He or she is out of town at the moment. Thus, all we can do is wait for him or her to return", answers Ling Greed relaxedly.

Kimblee snorts. ,, _We_? No, no. _We_ won't do anything. We destroyed the tapes and anything that would have proven Gluttony's existence. Thus, the police can go there and do the rest." ,,What are you, nuts? That person has probably killed our father!", hisses Ed. ,, _Your_ father", emphasises Solf.

,,Okay, you know what, Kimblee? You're right, you shouldn't do anything but focusing on your own fatherhood!", retorts Ed with a hateful mien. ,,What the hell are you talking about?", asks Lan Fan with a confused look. ,,I think, he's referring to Winry's pregnancy", intervenes Ling Greed who is relaxedly lying on the couch.

,,Wait, what? You impregnated her?", asks Lan Fan with a puzzled look. Kimblee does not answer right away. But finally, he rises to speak again: ,,I don't know. Either I did it or he." ,,Which means, you'll either become a father or an uncle", adds Lan Fan sarcastically. Ling Greed is the only one who chuckles as an answer to that...

OOO

Ten hours later, the police examines Dante's and her ally's flat, after Edward has given them an anonymous tip via e-mail. One day later, King Wrath comes up with an idea he decides to share with four of his five children during lunch. ,,Move away from Amestris?", asks Sloth. She, Greed, Lust and Pride are quite astonished at that very moment.

,,Maybe that's for the best", answers King Wrath calmly. ,,But everyone would think that we just moved away because we have something to hide", argues Pride. ,,Well, son. Unfortunately, we do have to hide something. The police hasn't found Dante's ally yet. Besides, others know about Gluttony, too. The Elrics and some of your teachers, for instance."

,,But father, why would they ever tell the police about Gluttony?", asks Lust rhetorically. Wrath does not answer. Instead, Selim rises to speak: ,,If you ask me, we don't need to move away from Amestris. We should definitely buy a new house, though."

,,Good idea. You look for a new house and I share a flat with Roa, Dolcetto and Martel. Paninya is going to move to Australia soon which is why they need a new flatmate." ,,Right, and you are going to live with us", decides Wrath. ,,Sorry, father, but I've already signed the contract", announces Ling Greed nonchalantly.

OOO

,,Isn't it strange to sleep in _D.'s_ old bed?", asks Lan Fan in the meantime. Right now, she and Kimblee are lying in Dante's bed. ,,Rose is out of town and I am homeless. It was her idea and I agreed." ,,You're not homeless, you're brainless. And heartless."

,,That's rich coming from you, love." ,,Hey, you are the one who's avoiding his family _and_ his future family, not I." ,,Well. Technically, she is avoiding me. I mean, she never even bothered to tell me about her pregnancy." ,,What about your mother?" ,,What about her?"

,,I know that she's been calling you for days. And that poor woman doesn't even know that you're still living in this building." ,,She will find out eventually." ,,And then what?" ,,No idea. But I don't care, anyway." Lan Fan rolls her eyes. ,,That's so cliché. But whatever, I have to go now." ,,What if I won't let you go?", asks Kimblee with a naughty smirk.

,,Sorry but I'm not in the mood for a pregnancy, today", retorts Lan Fan sarcastically. ,,You're an arsehole", remarks Kimblee dryly. ,,A virgin asshole. And speaking of that – you know that you lost the bet, right?" ,,Of course, love." ,,Good. Because one day, you're going to be my slave for twenty-four hours", announces Lan Fan with a conspiratorial smirk.

OOO

,,For how long are you going to avoid your mother and your girlfriend?", asks Roy. Right now, he and Ed are sitting in his favourite pub. ,,I don't know. But I'm not willing to talk to them yet. I'm tired of all those lies. And for the first time in his life, even Al is pissed off." ,,Perhaps, he's mad at you." ,,He was. But not anymore. At least not at me." ,,Your poor mother."

,,My _poor mother_? What about her son, huh?" ,,What about him? Yes, Kimblee must have had a tragic childhood but that's definitely not your mother's fault." ,,How dare you say that? If my mother hadn't abandoned him, he probably wouldn't have killed all those people...!"

,,You don't know what would have happened if she had kept him because you never asked your mother what her life had been like before you were born." ,,Hey, I'd love to ask her but she'll probably just lie to me. _Again_." ,,Well. Sometimes, that's what people do in order to protect their loved ones."

Ed does not answer. Instead, he asks the following questions: ,,What about women who cheat on their husbands...? Or men who cheat on their wives...? Don't you think that they should tell their partners about their betrayal...?" ,,I think that people cheat on their partners for a reason." ,,What kind of a reason...?" ,,I guess that depends on the situation."

,,What about you...? Have you ever cheated on your partner...?", asks Ed hesitatingly. ,,You can't cheat on your partner, when you don't have one", retorts Roy with a playful smirk. ,,Judging by that, I assume that you've never been in a situation like that, huh...?" ,,Not yet."

,,Okay, but just imagine you are in a relationship with a woman who's going to bear your brother's child and... Fuck, that whole situation is so messed up!", mutters Ed. ,,You don't say, _Fullmetal_. And to tell you the truth – the only thing that prevents me from advising you to break up with her is that she's like a sister to me."

,,Are you nuts? Ending a relationship because of one single problem would be bullshit!" ,,That's true. However, that _problem_ you're referring to is rather a complex of many problem _s_. First off, your girlfriend is pregnant. Second off, the father is your friend, neighbour and brother. I mean would you like your mother to be in a relationship with your uncle if you had one?"

Ed answers with a meaningful look. ,,Uh... Right... Sorry...", murmurs Roy sheepishly. ,,But you know what I mean." ,,Yes, I do. And I hope that you know that Winry is going to kill you when she finds out that you're trying to talk me into breaking up with her", retorts Ed sarcastically. ,,Hey, it doesn't matter whether she likes me or not. I just want her to be happy."

,,Touching", remarks Ed dryly. ,,In fact, I want both of you to be happy." This time, Ed doesn't make a sarcastic remark. Instead, he just declares: ,,We are happy." ,,No, you're not." ,,Hey!", grunts Ed. ,,What? Am I wrong?" ,,Of course you are!"

,,Uh. If you say so. Because I actually thought that you were cheating on Winry with Envy", retorts Roy relaxedly and shrugs, as if he was talking about the weather. Ed answers with another meaningful look. However, he does not dare to look Roy in the eye while doing so. ,,Hey, _Fullmetal_. Is there anything you want to tell me?", asks Roy nonchalantly.

,,Nope", fibs Ed and takes a sip. ,,Good. Because what I've just accused you of is an even worse thing to do." ,,What...?" ,,Just think about it. A mother who's lying to her children about their father's death is just trying to protect _them_ whereas a boy who's keeping his infidelity a secret from his girlfriend, is merely trying to protect _himself_."

,,Lying about Van Hohenheim's death is one thing but Solf J. Kimblee... Or Solf J. Elric...? Damnit...!" Silence. But then: ,,I'm sure, she had her reasons... Mothers just don't tend to lie to their children for no reason..." ,,If so... Why are you avoiding your mother then...?", asks Ed cautiously. Roy does not answer. Instead, he just asks the bartender for the bill...

OOO

Meanwhile, Ling Greed is sitting on one of the many couches in the Armstrong mansion when Catherine enters the room. ,,What are you doing here?", she asks with a disdainful look. ,,Nice to see you, too", mutters Greed with a quite similar look.

All of a sudden, her dismissive look turns into a rather worried one: ,,Hey... How is Envy...?" ,,No idea. Why?" ,,He stopped answering my calls and texts..." ,,I can't blame him", retorts Greed nonchalantly. ,,Hey, that's not funny! He's my friend and to be honest, I'm a little worried, lately...!"

Ling Greed is quite surprised when he realises that Cat is obviously telling the truth. ,,I'm sure, he's fine. But you can come by and see it for yourself, if you like", he offers relaxedly. ,,Thanks. But no. I don't want to bother him. But tell him that he can visit or call me whenever he wants, okay?"

Ling Greed does not answer right away. But then: ,,Okay. I'll tell him." Catherine nods silently and exits the room. Ling Greed looks after her, still with a surprised mien. _,,Wow. That girl really does like my brother. And I thought that she liked nobody but herself."_

His stream of thought gets abruptly interrupted when Olivier enters the room. ,,You came too early." ,,Sorry, Lady. I just... Wow, wait a sec. What's _that_?" When Olivier realises that Greed is talking about the small package in her hand, she instantly slaps herself mentally.

However, outwardly, she keeps her cool, while answering: ,,That's a belated Christmas gift. You remember that game with those plastic balls, right?" ,,Of course." ,,Good", answers Olivier and puts the present on a random side table as if it was something meaningless. ,,So?" ,,What?" ,,Come on. You know what I mean. I want to know who had to buy you a Christmas gift."

,,Uh. Scodran", answers Olivier indifferently. ,,Deeply interesting." ,,Is that so?" ,,Yeah. Because if he just had told Kimblee the truth, Kimblee wouldn't have suspected him." ,,Wow, wait a sec. A meaningless gift led Kimblee to believe that Scodran might be the stalker?", asks Olivier with a raised eyebrow.

,,Precisely. But apparently, Scar doesn't regard it as _meaningless_. Because otherwise he wouldn't have lied, right?", chuckles Ling Greed. ,,Of course", retorts Olivier, her undertone thoroughly sarcastic. ,,What? I know what I'm talking about. That man totally wants to fuck you." ,,For God's sake", mutters Olivier dryly.

,,Oh come on, don't be so prudish. I'm sure you two would have a lot of fun." ,,Definitely." ,,I mean, he's with Rose at the moment. But every wolf needs a little lamb from time to time. However, in the end, he'll take the she-wolf." ,,Okay. I'll give you hundred pounds if you promise to shut your mouth." Ling Greed answers with amused laughter.

OOO

In the evening, Roy leaves Chris a voicemail message: ,,Hey... It's me... You're probably on the plane at the moment... Anyway... All I wanted to say is that I was glad about your visit... And that I hope to see you again... Soon... Well, that's it... Bye... _Madame Christmas._.."

OOO

When Edward and Alphonse return home, Trisha is already waiting for them in the kitchen. ,,We need to talk...!" Ed and Al do not answer. Instead, they just take a seat and listen. Trisha, on the other hand, takes a deep breath.

,,Many years ago, a stranger knocked on my door. Well, technically, it was Sig's and Izumi's door. But I've been living there, too. Anyway, that house turned out to be that man's former home. He said, he'd solely come over to take pictures, so I asked him in. We spent the entire day and the following night together. And then I found the ring. We argued four hours. And then he just left..."

Trisha pauses. ,,Nine months later, I gave birth to our son. Your father had been completely in the dark about it but Izumi changed that. After she had told him about his son, he took the next plane to San Francisco. But unfortunately, he came too late... Our son had already died... Leastwise, according to the doctors... Only now, I realize that they lied to me..." Ed and Al are dismayed.

Their mother sighs before she adds: ,,Somehow, your father must have found out about that earlier..." ,,What gives you that idea...?", asks Alphonse cautiously. ,,A few days before he died, he and I had talked about the future... And I can remember every word he said..."

OOO-OOO

 _San Francisco, January 2007_

,,Amestris...? You mean as in _the city where your ex is living_...?", asks Trisha with a sad look. ,,Trisha, no! That has nothing to do with her! She and I haven't talked to each other in years!" ,,But why are you so eager to -?" ,,Because I have reason to believe that Amestris might be the place where our dreams will come true!"

,,But I thought we were happy already..." ,,We _are_ happy, Trisha...! But there is this one piece that's still missing... And that can't be found anywhere but in Amestris... You see, Trisha...? It is up to me to find that one missing piece in order to complete the puzzle...!" ,,You're speaking in riddles..." ,,I know and I'm sorry but I'll tell you everything when I return. Promise..."

OOO-OOO

 _Amestris, January 2017_

,,After your father's death, I decided to move here because I thought that he considered something about this place to be _the_ key to happiness... Back then, I had no idea what he was referring to... A job offer...? Maybe a house...? It could have been anything... However, now I suddenly realize that he has never been talking about this city itself... He has been talking about our son..."

,,He came here to find him...!", murmurs Edward with an astonished look. ,,Yes, honey... He came here to find your brother... However, I'm sure that your brother wasn't the only child he was willing to find... And save...", continues Trisha.

Only now, Ed remembers: ,,Our Sensei had been told the same when she lost her baby in the hospital...!" Trisha nods silently. Her look is thoroughly sad. ,,Have you talked to our Sensei about this already...?", asks Alphonse cautiously. ,,Not yet, sweetheart... If it turns out that it's already too late to find her son, that will break Izumi's heart... And Sig's..."

,,And sometimes you have to lie to the people you love in order to protect them...", adds Alphonse with a tender smile. Trisha answers with a happy smile when she realises that her youngest son has obviously forgiven her. ,,Al is right", interposes Ed with a pensive mien. Once again, Trisha answers with a happy smile. Ed, on the other hand, is not happy at all at the moment...

OOO

,,Ed?", asks Winry with a surprised look, while Ed is hesitatingly entering her room. ,,How come...? I mean, neither did you answer my calls, nor any of my texts...", she murmurs with a rather sad look. ,,I know. I was mad at you, to be honest", reveals Edward after a short silent period. ,,Why...?"

,,Because I know that you're pregnant and that Kimblee is the father." ,,What...?" ,,And that sucks, Winry. It really does." Winry gulps. ,,And now you came here to end our relationship..." ,,What? No, I didn't!" ,,You... Didn't...?" ,,Of course not, Winry! I lo... Like you too much...!" Winry answers with an astonished look. ,,But Winry..." ,,Yes...? Ed...?"

,,I'm sure that you will end our relationship when I tell you what I did..." Winry gulps. ,,Oh my God...! You had sex with Lan Fan...!" Ed does not answer verbally. Instead, he just shakes his head. ,,With Lust?", asks Winry a little louder this time. ,,No...!" ,,Catherine? May?" ,,What? _May_?" ,,Search me! It could be anybody!" ,,But I didn't have sex with any of the... Girls, you know!"

Only now, Winry raises her voice completely: ,,That doesn't matter, okay? You ruined _everything_! And for what? For _nothing_!" ,,Hey, I made a mistake, okay?", admits Ed, who has also raised his voice. ,,YOU DON'T SAY!" ,,Winry...!" ,,Go...! NOW, ED! AND DON'T EVER COME BACK! BECAUSE I WILL _NEVER_ FORGIVE YOU!" Ed answers with a shocked look...

OOO

A few hours later, Envy is lying prone in his own bed and counting pills when someone is suddenly knocking on his door. Envy answers with an inquiring look before quickly hiding the pills and languidly offering: ,,Come in." No reaction.

But then Winry of all people enters his bedroom. ,,What the bloody hell are you doing here?", asks Envy with a mien that is partly disdainful and partly astonished. ,,I have to ask you something..." ,,And you couldn't do that on the phone because...?", asks Envy sarcastically.

,,I don't have your number. And since I've been just visiting Mr Hughes anyway, I thought maybe I could come over and talk to you in person instead", explains Winry with an indifferent mien. ,,If so, shoot", replies Envy coldly. ,,Ed cheated on me", reveals Winry nonchalantly.

Envy discreetly gulps. ,,Is that so?", he then asks. While doing so, he's trying to sound as relaxed as possible. ,,Yes. He had sex with someone else. He said, that it wasn't one of our girls." _,,So true"_ , chuckles Envy inwardly. However, instead he just asks: ,,And do you believe him?" ,,I don't know. But what I do know is that I need your help." ,,My help for _what_ exactly?"

Winry does not answer. ,,No way. You're actually planning on taking revenge, aren't you?", asks Envy with a smirk that signalises mischievousness on the one hand and excitement on the other hand. Once again, Winry does not dare to answer. ,,But wait a sec. Why don't you just sleep with Kimblee? Or with my brother?"

,,Because... I don't want to ruin their friendship..." ,,Liar", hisses Envy with a disdainful smirk. Afterwards he stands up, stretches his body and continues: ,,You just don't want to put your heart at risk. Which is why you came to that one person you would never fall in love with." Winry's hush speaks volumes...

OOO

In the meantime, Ed is walking through his living street and listening to Lana Del Rey's _Radio_ when he comes across Lan Fan who is smoking a cigarette infront of the _Dragon's Pulse_. ,,Hey, San Francisco." ,,Hey, Seattle. What are you doing here?" ,,Um. That's our restaurant, remember?" ,,Yeah but why are you smoking instead of, you know, working?"

,,Um. That's our restaurant, remember?" Ed rolls his eyes. Yet he cannot hold back a smirk. ,,What about you? Are you walking around and listening to Lana's songs about America, oral sex and daddy issues?", asks Lan Fan with a teasing smirk. ,,Wait a sec! How do you know -?" ,,I checked your Ipod." Ed answers with a grumpy look.

,,Whatever. I'm glad that you're here because there's something, you should know." ,,What is it?", asks Ed. ,,Come on, let's take a walk", decides Lan Fan spontaneously. ,,Sure. But what about your shift?" ,,Um. That's our restaurant, remember?" Ed answers with a dry look.

OOO

In the meantime, Solf is lying on the couch in his unpeopled flat when he suddenly can hear that one textless song, Dante used to listen to all the time. With an inquiring look, he slowly heads for the flat door and opens it whereupon he sees someone standing there and holding Dante's old radio. ,,You...?", asks Solf, his voice relaxed, his look puzzled...

 **Thank you so much for reading and also for reviewing! (:**

 **For the rest: Next chapter will be named after Lana's song _Video Games_**

 **Kisses, PinkChocolateGlitter (;**


	27. Video Games

**Disclaimer: I don't own the mentioned brand names, the song titles and I also don't own Fullmetal Alchemist (c'est dommage...)!**

 **Information:**

Before we move to the real story, I want to explain a few things ahead, that don't need to be necessarily read but I personally feel like they could be sort of important to the readers.

Content: You are going to learn who Dante's ally is.

Storyline: The whole mystery-stuff is going to end once and for all in chapter 30 (;

Character: _Special Guest Star_ Frank Archer.

Everything is said for now, so let's move to the story!

 **Chiyo**

 **\- Chapter 27: Video Games -**

Instead of taking a walk, Edward and Lan Fan are playing video games in his bedroom. ,,Such a bastard!", hisses Ed angrily. ,,I know." ,,I bet, he thinks that he's funny! But that's not funny at all!" ,,I know." ,,Sleeping in Dante's old bedroom! I mean, what the hell is wrong with him? Besides, he didn't even give mother a chance to explain everything!" ,,I know."

,,And what about Winry? I mean, that girl is pregnant! And he couldn't care less!" ,,I know." ,,And you know what? That's all your fault!" ,,I know." ,,And mine! I'm such a loser when it comes to relationships!" ,,I know." ,,Winry doesn't deserve any of this! No Elric is good enough for her!" ,,I know." ,,I mean, except for Al, of course, but he's with your cousin." ,,I know."

,,Uh and you're a horrible friend, by the way! I'm talking about your friendship with Winry! You're doing whatever the fuck with the father of her baby!" ,,I know." ,,Someone should send you back to Seattle!" ,,I know." ,,Yet I'm sort of glad that nobody has done that so far...!" ,,I know." ,,Either way, you have to break up with Kimblee!" ,,I know."

,,You could have sex with Greed instead." ,,I know." ,,Or with Kain Fuery. All you have to do is to dye your hair." ,,I know." ,,Or you could just sleep with one of the teachers." ,,I know." ,,But Mustang and Havoc are definitely taboo." ,,I know." ,,You repeated yourself like sixteen times in a row." ,,I know." ,,Seventeen times." ,,I..." ,,Yes?" ,,Won."

Furiously, Ed chucks the controller to the ground after he has lost the virtual battle. ,,Wow. Edward Elric, you really are a hothead. And a killjoy. A _killhead_. Or _hotjoy_." ,,Cut the shit." ,,Okay. What I want to say is that even though I usually don't have time for losers, I'd love to continue this conversation. So, just tell me what you're going to do now." Edward shrugs.

,,I dunno", he then mutters. ,,Good. If so, let me tell you what you are _not_ going to do." ,,Shoot." ,,Good boy. You are _not_ going to try to save your relationship with her." ,,I'm _not_?" ,,No, you're _not_." ,,Why _not_?" ,,Because you obviously do _not_ love that girl." ,,What? That's nonsense, I do l...ike her...!" ,,I know." ,,Eighteen." ,,But merely as a friend. _Not_ as your girlfriend."

,,Says who...?" ,,Um, hello? You cheated on her with God knows whom. And neither did you tell me yet who that mysterious slut is nor the reason for your infidelity. And that sucks." ,,I know..." ,,Hey, nineteen!" ,,What? No, that doesn't count because I was the one who said it this time." ,,I know." ,,Nineteen!" ,,You're totally changing the subject." ,,I..." ,,Yes?" ,,You're right."

,,Damnit." ,,Yeah, whatever." ,, _Whatever_? My ass. Just tell me who it is." ,,Nope." ,,Killjoy." ,,Sorry." ,,Liar." ,,Yep." ,,And was it good?" ,,Excuse me?" ,,Of course, it was. Why should a boy like you cheat on a girl like Winry with a slut who's not worth it, huh?", asks Lan Fan rhetorically. Yet, Ed feels obliged to answer that question: ,,I dunno. Perhaps, because I'm a total asshole."

,,Yeah, you definitely are a total asshole. Yet cheating on your girlfriend is somehow not like you." ,,How do you know that?" ,,Intuition." ,,Well. Sorry to say but apparently your intuition is out of blast." ,,Nope. It's totally not. I recognise a good guy when I see one. Which means that your fling must have had a reason."

Ed does not answer right away. But then: ,,That doesn't matter... Either way, what I did was violently wrong... And now we won't even be friends anymore..." ,,Come on. You don't know that yet." ,,Yes, I do. I mean, would you have forgiven me?" ,,I guess, that depends on the situation..." ,,Could you please be a little more specific?"

,,Well. It's actually not that complicated. If I loved you, I would never forgive you unless you had a good reason for what you did. Like having true feelings for your secret lover.." ,,And what if I don't have _true feelings for my secret lover_?" ,,No forgiveness. Because that would mean you ruined the relationship for no reason." ,,Makes sense."

,,Yeah. Either way, your relationship is screwed for good. So no more _Iggy_ for you." ,,Damnit...!" ,,Tcha. Your loss, tramp." ,,Hey, leastwise I'm not the side chick!", retorts Ed with gritted teeth. ,,Touché." Silence. But then: ,,Hey... Are you okay...?" ,,Yeah...", murmurs Ed. ,,And do you want her back...?" ,,No... She doesn't deserve me..." ,,I know." ,,Twenty...", murmurs Ed.

OOO

Meanwhile, Riza and Breda are sitting in her living room and talking about the hot case. ,,That lady killed every damn member of Hohenheim's sect. Including Dr. Shou Tucker and Police Commander Storch, that son of a bitch." ,,He was our superior, Breda." ,,Yeah, because he killed your father, _Hawkeye_." Riza does not answer right away.

Instead she just changes the subject: ,,Anyway. That sect does not exist any longer. The only member left the country." ,,Right. Clemin. What if he's Dante's secret ally? Or the other Hohenheim's killer?" ,,No, that secret ally is living in that creepy flat. Hence, we're looking for a person who has neither a family nor any other partner."

,,Who is Dante's ally, who killed Van Hohenheim and who burnt down that restaurant a few years ago. These are the only questions we have to find answers for so we can finally close every open case and focus on the here and now", summarises Breda. ,,Right. But you know? You can start focusing on that before the cases will be closed." ,,Not this again", mutters Breda and rolls his eyes.

,,Come on, we both know that your time to move out has come a long time ago. I mean, first of all, your flat -" ,,Is way too small." ,,Other than that, it's -" ,,Too expensive." ,,Your landlord is -" ,,An _arsehole_." ,,And most of the time you are -" ,,Here, anyhow." ,,Besides, Scodran Khan and Rose Thomas both need -" ,,A new _flatmate_."

,,Wow. Not bad, Breda. I mean, you even replaced American terms and imitated my accent perfectly this time." ,,Yeah." ,,So?" Once again, Breda rolls his eyes, while chewing on a toothpick. Only after a few seconds, he finally gives in: ,,Fine. I'll call Ms. 2a and Mr. 2b as soon as possible."

,,Perfect!" ,,Hey, but just so you know! Your bestie Catalina is also interested!" ,,Says who?" ,,She said that. I saw her at the flower shop today." ,,The _what_?" ,,You heard me." ,,And I was sure that I misheard something." ,,Nope. The flowers were for her grave..."

All of a sudden, Riza feels guilty about her sarcastic remark. ,,Sorry... I didn't know that..." ,,It's okay..." ,,No, it's not! Don't worry, we _will_ find those arseholes who robbed that restaurant! Promise!" Heymans does not answer verbally. Instead, he just smiles briefly.

OOO

In the meantime, Solf and his nineteen-year-old British visitor by the name of Frank Archer are sitting in Rose's flat. ,,I've bought all the materials like burner phones for instance and been also responsible for all the technical stuff. Moreover, I spied on you, broke into the Bradley house, burnt down the Elric house, killed _Gold-Tooth_ and gave Police Commander Storch the poisoned vine."

,,When did she contact you anyway?" ,,Around the time, the Elric family moved here." ,,What about Father Hohenheim's death?" ,,That was Dante." ,,And Father Hohenheim's twin?" ,,I was nine when he got killed, so." ,,Good point. What about the sect?" ,,What about it?" ,,Please. There's no way, Dante didn't tell you about the sect."

,,Dante didn't tell me about anything. She gave me orders, a temporary home and lots of money but no information. However, I did learn of that sect when Bradley told his housekeeper about it in his home office." ,,Good to know. What about Thanksgiving?" ,,You are referring to that fit Chinese, aren't you?" ,,Yes. So?"

,,That was Dante. I never would have harmed such a beautiful thing. I rather wanted to see the Bradley family suffer. Except for the female members, of course." ,,Of course." ,,I know everything about that family now." ,,So do I." ,,Is that so?" ,,Yes." ,,That means you also know about Ling Greed's bisexuality?" ,,He's not bisexual. Just eager to try out new things."

,,And he's clearly not the only one." ,,What are you talking about?", asks Kimblee relaxedly. ,,Why do you ask? I thought you knew everything about that family." Kimblee rolls his eyes. ,,Do you know that Lust slept with Mr Mustang, too? And that Sloth cheated on her fiancé?" Kimblee's hush speaks volumes.

,,See? You definitely don't know everything about them. Too bad that you destroyed every tape." ,,We did what we had to do. That way none of us has to go to jail. Not even you or Clemin." ,,I know. We all are off the hook, if you will. Yet I decided to leave the country tomorrow, just to be on the safe side." ,,Well, good for you."

,,And for you, Crimson Lotus. I have a parting gift for you." ,,I'm touched." ,,No, you're not." ,,You don't say." ,,But you will be in a minute. Because there is this one last thing from Dante's burner flat, I secretly decided to keep so I can give it to you. You know? For old times' sake." ,,Wow. I had no idea, Archer. Looks like you secretly are a sentimentalist."

,,Occasionally", retorts Archer sarcastically before handing a middle-sized box over to Solf. ,,What the bloody hell is that?" ,,See it for yourself. I was about to leave, anyhow. I'm going to depart in the early morning." ,,I hope you're not expecting a farewell kiss now." ,,No", answers Archer dryly before heading for the door. ,,But speaking of kisses – I have another gift for you."

,,Which is?", asks Solf with composure after Archer has already opened the flat door. ,,Nothing more than a warning. I was Dante's only ally but that doesn't mean that you can trust everyone. I found out a lot when I was spying on your friends. And just so you know – not all of them truly are your friends. So beware and stop avoiding your own bloody family. You'll need them some day."

Kimblee does not answer which is why Frank just leaves instead of giving him further information. _,,Who is he talking about? Greed? Lust? Envy? All I know is that he was not referring to my so-called family. He rather believes that I might need those strangers..."_ Solf is thoroughly clueless. And thoughtful.

But his stream of thought gets suddenly interrupted by the doorbell. In a split second, Solf opens it, expecting to see Archer again and hoping to get more answers. However, Frank Archer is not the person who has come to answer more questions. ,,Solf...!", murmurs Trisha with a sad look. Kimblee is speechless for the moment...

OOO

However, he is all the more speechless after Trisha has told him everything. At least for a short while: ,,Let me get this right. My own uncle kidnapped me and sold me. And then my _breeder_ found out and tried to find me but got killed while doing so. Interesting." ,,You don't believe me..." ,,Of course, I do", answers Kimblee relaxedly.

,,But... You don't seem to believe me..." ,,What gives you that idea?" ,,I don't know... But to be honest, I was hoping that -" ,,Hoping that I'd cried my eyes out and fling my arms around a stranger's neck?" ,,I'm your mother, Solf...!" ,,Sorry, but you're not. You are Edward's and Alphonse's mother. And Quinn was Sloth's, Greed's, Lust's, Envy's, Pride's and Gluttony's mother."

,,But -!" ,,Hey, I'm not mad at you, okay? I'm totally fine with the situation. After all, none of this is your fault." ,,Yes, it is... I should have protected you..." ,,How? Back then, in the hospital, you've been loaded with medicaments. And let's face it – kidnapping a baby is not the most difficult thing to do. And if it's any comfort to you, I had a quite tolerable childhood, except for the abuse stuff."

,,Abuse...?" ,,Yep. But nothing dramatical. After my father had abandoned us, mother started to date all those ungracious men. But in the end, they helped me developing my skills. You know? Poisoning others, blowing up things." ,,Solf, I -!" ,,Once again – none of this is your fault. If any, it is hers, theirs and mine. I mean, nobody forced me to kill anybody. I did that of my _own_ free will."

Trisha answers with a crestfallen mien. ,,What is it, huh? Are you disappointed now?", asks Kimblee nonchalantly while smirking nastily. However, his smirk instantly disappears when Trisha suddenly answers: ,,No, Solf. I'm not disappointed at all. I love you. And loving somebody means that you also accept that person's mistakes."

,,Hey, these weren't mistakes! These were _artful destructions_ , created by me!", clarifies Kimblee less relaxedly. ,,Either way, I love you." ,,What the...? Sorry, but that doesn't make any sense, Lady. A few days ago, you've regarded me as a stranger and all of a sudden, you... Wow. I'm confused. Just... Confused."

,,That's because you're too rational. But love isn't a matter of rationality, sweetheart", retorts Trisha with an angelic smile. ,,Love is nothing but an illusion." Trisha chuckles softly. ,,That's exactly what your father had said before he fell in love with me." Kimblee is speechless.

Therefore, Trisha rises to speak again: ,,Yes, love also means that one has to make sacrifices from time to time." ,,Looks like Mr Hohenheim sacrificed his sanity", remarks Kimblee with a nasty smirk. Trisha answers with amused laughter. ,,What kind of a sacrifice did you make?" ,,My career is one of them." ,,I would never underestimate the importance of work."

,,Because you are your father's son." Kimblee does not know what to answer. ,,Anyways. It's time to make another sacrifice." ,,What will it be this time?" ,,My heart. Because it will break my heart to stay away from you." ,,Are you going to move back to America or something?", asks Kimblee, ostensibly indifferent.

,,No, _Theo_. But I decided to stay away from you until you'll be ready." ,, _Theo_?" ,, _Theophrastus_." ,,That's even worse. I'm glad that I've been kidnapped." ,,Blame your father, not me", chuckles Trisha softly. For a split second, Solf can't hold back a smile.

But all of a sudden, he strikes a more serious note: ,,Ready for _what_?" ,,Ready for a family that loves you... You know where to find us", answers Trisha with an angelic smile before exiting Rose's flat. Kimblee is speechless. Again...

OOO

One day later, the schools reopen. ,,What are you doing?", asks Maes curiously when he, Rebecca, Roy, Scodran, Olivier and Juliet are sitting in the staff room. Right now, Sloth is writing one of her famous lists. ,,She's probably listing potential baby names", interposes Roy sarcastically. Sloth does not laugh. Instead, she just answers: ,,I'm listing gift ideas."

,,Uh right. Your father's birthday will be on Saturday, right?", asks Roy. ,,Arse-crawler", mutters Olivier dryly. While the others except for Roy are laughing, Sloth answers: ,,Yes. But he will be out of town for the weekend." ,,Wait, he's going to spend his birthday alone?", asks Rebecca with a surprised look.

Juliet just nods silently before quickly changing the subject: ,,Anyway. This list is not for his birthday. It's for Trisha's." ,,When is her birthday?", asks Roy. ,,Tomorrow", answers Sloth in a nutshell. ,,Wait a sec! Since when do you buy last-minute gifts?", asks Oliver with a raised brow.

,,I had no idea. Selim told me this morning about it and he also mentioned that she won't celebrate her birthday. Yet I want to buy her a gift. She's our housekeeper, after all." ,,No birthday party? That's sad", pouts Rebecca. ,,I can't blame her. Or have you already forgotten what happened on Thanksgiving?", asks Olivier sarcastically. ,,Or on Sloth's Christmas party", interposes Scar dryly.

,,Or on Sloth's New Years' Eve party", adds Maes, also dryly. ,,Okay, I got it!", hisses Sloth with a killing look. The others answer with inquiring looks. ,,Excuse me", murmurs Sloth and quickly exits the room. ,,What the hell has just happened?", asks Olivier with crossed arms. The others answer with confused looks and shrug.

OOO

,,Do you want to take the day off?", asks King Wrath in the afternoon. Right now, he and Trisha are sitting in his home office. ,,Oh please, it's just a day like any other!", chuckles Trisha softly. ,,All right. But you should leastwise leave a little earlier tomorrow. I mean, don't you want to celebrate your birthday at all?" ,,Um... To be honest, I haven't thought about it yet..."

,,I see... Well, that is too bad. Because Selim was wondering whether you might be interested in spending your birthday with us perhaps?" ,, _Us_...?" ,,My family, your family, Maes, Elicia and the Armstrongs, your sons' girlfriends. It depends on your wishes. After all, it is your birthday. But of course, it'll be my treat."

,,What...? No...! I can't -!" ,,Please. I insist. And so does Selim. And you know what that means, right?" Trisha answers with angelic laughter. ,,However, in case you're planning on spending the day with your sons instead, you can just -"

,,No!", interrupts Trisha reflexively. King Wrath answers with an inquiring look. ,,Your idea is wonderful...! I mean, Selim's idea, of course...!", murmurs Trisha sheepishly, ,,All right then", answers King with a rather serious mien, while Trisha is slapping herself mentally...

OOO

In the meantime, Winry is sitting on the couch in her living room when she suddenly gets a text from May: _,,Rose and I need your help. Let's meet in her apartment in five minutes, okay?"_ Winry answers with a confused look. However, she would never refuse to help her best friend May.

OOO

Therefore, she knocks on Rose's door a few minutes later. Nobody answers at first. But a few seconds later, somebody finally opens it. And that somebody turns out to be: ,,Kimblee...!" ,,Hallo, Winry", replies Kimblee with composure. ,,What the hell are you doing here...?" ,,I'm living here." ,,How come...?" ,,Rose is out of town, so."

,,No, she isn't! May just asked me to come over and to help her and Rose with something! _Look_!" Solf does not answer. Instead, he just takes the phone, Winry is handing over to him. After heaving read the message, he solves the riddle: ,,That text isn't from May. She would use the word _flat_."

Only now, Winry realises that she has been tricked: ,,Lan Fan!" ,,Yep." ,,If so, I'm off!", hisses Winry and is just about to stomp upstairs, when Solf suddenly asks: ,,Do you want to come in perhaps?" Winry does not answer right away.

OOO

,,Did Lust tell you about my...?" ,,Pregnancy? Yes." ,,And what else did she tell you...?" ,,Nothing. Even though she knows exactly that your boyfriend isn't the father, she pretended to be clueless." ,,Are you serious...?" ,,Believe it or not – Lust can be very considerate at times." ,,If so, how did you find out, anyway?"

,,That doesn't matter. But what does matter is that you weren't the one who told me about it." Winry does not know what to say. ,,What, huh? Did you seriously think that I wouldn't learn of your little secret? There are things you literally cannot hide. Well, unless -" ,,No! I won't just _kill_ it, Kimblee!" ,,That's not fair. You can't just force me to raise that child."

Winry answers with mocking laughter. ,,That's hilarious! I didn't even plan on telling you about my pregnancy! And yet you're thinking that I'm trying to ruin your life? How self-centred you are!" Kimblee does not know what to say which is why he just asks: ,,What does your boyfriend think, huh?" ,,Edward isn't my boyfriend anymore", announces Winry relaxedly.

Kimblee answers with an astonished look. ,,Is that so?", he then asks with composure. ,,Oh yes. He cheated on me with another girl." ,,You're kidding, right?", asks Kimblee dryly. ,,Nope. Ask him, if you don't believe me", retorts Winry relaxedly. ,,Did he tell you with whom?", asks Kimblee straightforward. ,,No. But according to his words, I don't know her. And I'd love to believe him..."

,,But apparently, you don't", retorts Kimblee nonchalantly. Winry does not know what to say. ,,Lust, Catherine or Lan Fan?" ,,What...?" ,,You heard me. Who are you accusing of being his secret lover?" ,,I don't know..." ,,Yes, you do know it." Winry hesitates. But then: ,,I'm not saying it's her... But isn't it a little strange that Lan Fan tricked me into coming here...?"

Kimblee does not answer. ,,Okay, you know what? Maybe I'm just paranoid and -!" ,,No", interrupts Solf. ,,You're right, that is indeed strange. But then again, it is not. It is rather genius", he adds with composure. ,,And deceitful...", interposes Winry with a sad mien. ,,Are you expecting me to feel sorry for you?" ,,Not really! After all, you're a sociopath!", hisses Winry.

,,And you are a fool. I've warned you but you didn't listen to me. And now your poor little heart is broken. Tcha. Your loss." ,,Pah! Who are you trying to fool? We both know that I'm not the only broken-hearted person in this room!" ,,That's hilarious, Win." ,,Is that so?" ,,Yes. Because Lan Fan and I are nothing but friends."

,,Really, huh? How come that I saw you touching her pussy in the basement, huh?" ,,Please, that was nothing. We never had sex. Not even once." ,,Are you serious?", asks Winry with a raised eyebrow. ,,Downright serious", answers Kimblee dryly. Suddenly, Winry starts laughing at him mockingly. ,,What the hell, Win?"

,,I'm just surprised, that's all! You're actually falling for that girl, aren't you?" ,,Sorry to say but that's nonsense." ,,Nope. It's not. Because why else would you sacrifice the sex, huh?" ,,Did you just say _sacrifice_?", asks Kimblee with a confused look. ,,Yes, why?" ,,No reason", fibs Kimblee before clarifying: ,,And just so you know – I'm not _sacrificing_ anything."

All of a sudden, Kimblee starts touching her leg. Winry gulps. ,,What are you doing, Kimblee...?" ,,Well. It depends on you", retorts Kimblee with a nasty smirk. ,,Don't you want to take revenge on him?", he then asks with a rather conspiratorial smirk this time before coming closer. ,,No...!", whispers Winry and slowly closes her eyes...

OOO

Almost thirty minutes later, Winry stands up, grabs her clothes and starts to put them on. ,,Wow. Did I teach you all this or your ex?", asks Kimblee with a sardonic smirk. ,,I think that was Ling Greed", retorts Winry nonchalantly. That hit home. Yet Kimblee keeps his cool. ,,Anyway. I don't want you to tell anybody about it, understood, Mister?"

,,Oh, please. They could hear you, anyhow", retorts Kimblee. Winry rolls her eyes. However, she cannot hold back a cheeky smirk. ,,Well. You did a good job", she then retorts. ,,Likewise." ,,Bye", she chuckles and is just about to head for the door when Kimblee suddenly grasps her wrist and drags her onto the couch in order to sound the bell for the second round...

OOO

In the evening, Lan Fan smokes a cigarette in the back courtyard. ,,I hate smokers. Yet you look so hot while sucking that tiny phallus in your hand", remarks Kimblee, who has just come out of nowhere, with a nasty smirk. ,,And I love sucking it. It looks like the tiny phallus in your boxers", retorts Lan Fan. ,,That hit home", remarks Kimblee with an amused smirk.

,,Good. If so, we can skip the small talk now." ,,You don't know how small talk works, do you?", asks Solf sarcastically. ,,I have other talents", retorts Lan Fan. ,,Such as?" ,,Well. I'm a good teacher for instance." ,,Is that so, love?" ,,Yeah. Like today, I taught someone a lesson. Myself." Solf answers with a confused look. ,,You banged her, didn't you?", asks Lan Fan with a mocking smirk.

,,I did. So?", asks Solf relaxedly. ,,So, you failed the test. And now, excuse me, please. It's time to play some video games." ,,Deeply interesting. Looks like Winry was right, wasn't she?" ,,I don't know what you're talking about." ,,But you do know that my brother cheated on her with you, right?", asks Kimblee sarcastically. Lan Fan answers with mocking laughter.

,,Yes, Kimblee. You're absolutely right. I am Ed's side chick", she then answers ironically. Kimblee does not know what to answer which is why he asks a question instead: ,,Why did you trick Winry and me into having sex then?" ,,Hey, I've never tricked you into having sex. I merely tricked her into meeting you. You two did the rest and in doing so, failed the test." ,,What test, huh?"

Lan Fan answers with a conspiratorial smirk before revealing in an indifferent tone: ,,The plan was to find out whether you're having feelings for me or not. Because guess what – I actually did have feelings for you. But like I said – you failed the test. That's too bad, _love_." Kimblee is speechless. Lan Fan, on the other hand, winks nastily before leaving him alone...

OOO

A few minutes later, Lan Fan and Edward are playing video games in his living room. ,,I hate him." ,,Who?" ,,Your brother." ,,What? Nobody hates Al!" ,,The other one." ,,Oh..." ,,I'm so going to win this battle!" ,,No, you're not! Usually, nobody defeats me! Last time, you were just lucky, that's all!"

,,Let's prove you wrong. However, if I lose, I'll listen to _one_ Lana song. If you lose, you'll do me a favor." ,,Deal!", hisses Ed with a determined look. Both of them are focused on the game until he hesitatingly asks: ,,What did he do...?" ,,Who?" ,,My... Brother...?" ,,Which one?" ,,The one you hate...", murmurs Ed.

,,Uh. Well. He's trying to imitate Michael Jackson, which is highly criminal", retorts Lan Fan dryly. Ed raises an eyebrow. ,,Hey, focus! I hate to beat losers, I rather beat other winners!", hisses Lan Fan with a driven look. ,,Ouch", mutters Ed dryly before suddenly winning the battle. ,,Damnit", mutters Lan Fan grumpily.

OOO

,,Which song?", asks Ed a few minutes later when they are sitting in his room. ,,I don't care." ,,How about _Lolita_?" ,,Too pedophilic." ,, _American_?" ,,Too patriotic." ,, _Body Electric_?" ,,Too intergalactic." ,, _Cola_?" ,,Too capitalistic." ,,Okay. _Video Games_ then." ,,Too -" ,,No! _Video Games_!" ,,Fine", mutters Lan Fan and takes his Ipod unenthusiastically.

,,Hey, where are you going?", she asks when Ed suddenly heads for the door. ,,I'm hungry. I'll grab us something to eat." ,,Cool. Don't forget the cocaine because I'll need it to forget those horrible lyrics." ,,The lyrics are good! You are horrible!", grunts Ed before exiting his room. Unwillingly, Lan Fan starts to listen to Lana Del Rey's _Video Games_.

OOO

A few minutes later, Edward enters his room again. ,,Mom tried to hide the sweets but I found them. Pah. Nice try, mom", he chuckles mockingly. However, he abruptly falls silent when he notices that Lan Fan is lying on his couch and crying noiselessly.

In a split second, Edward drops the bags of sweets and heads for the couch, before slowly lying down next to her and starting to cautiously stroke her back and hair. He has never touched anybody that way before. But right now, he simply feels the urge to do it.

,,Just so you know...! I'm just crying because that song was so terrible...!", sobs Lan Fan without turning around. ,,I know", whispers Ed with a tender smile. ,,You better not tell anybody that I... You know? Listened to that song...! Because otherwise I'll definitely kill you...!" ,,I know." ,,Thanks... You're cool..." ,,I know." ,,Three times..." Ed answers with a soft chuckle...

 **Thank you so much for reading and also for reviewing! (:**

 **For the rest: Next chapter will be named after Lana's song _Black Beauty_**

 **Kisses, PinkChocolateGlitter (;**


	28. Black Beauty

**Disclaimer: I don't own the mentioned brand names, the song titles and I also don't own Fullmetal Alchemist (c'est dommage...)!**

 **Information:**

Before we move to the real story, I want to explain a few things ahead, that don't need to be necessarily read but I personally feel like they could be sort of important to the readers.

Content: One flashback as well as one death in this chapter, so be warned (;

Character: _Special Guest Stars_ Quinn Bradley, Frank Archer and Giolio Comanche, who is nothing like his shitty Brotherhood-self.

Allusion: I'm sure, you won't miss the allusions to the Brotherhood-plot (:

Everything is said for now, so let's move to the story!

 **\- Chapter 28: Black Beauty -**

 _Amestris, January 2009_

,, _Barbie_ wants to marry _Ken_ but he wants to marry _Teresa_!", explains Lust. Right now, she and Envy are sitting in her room and playing with her dolls. ,,I don't like that. Wouldn't it be better if _Barbie_ killed _Ken_ instead? While she's wearing a wedding dress?", asks Envy with a sardonic smirk. ,,You're definitely watching the wrong films", remarks Lust dryly before exiting her room.

,,So true. Come Envy, let me show you the good films", offers Ling Greed who has just come out of nowhere. ,,You know. The ones with naked dolls", he adds with a naughty smirk. ,,You're perverse", remarks Envy with a disgusted look. ,,And you are gay", retorts Ling Greed with a teasing smirk.

,,Shut up!", hisses Envy. ,,A skirt would look nice on you", remarks Ling Greed sarcastically. Envy answers with a killing look. ,,Come on, I'm just kidding. The truth is, you'd look even uglier than you're doing at the moment", chuckles Greed mockingly.

All of a sudden, Envy has an idea: He grabs one of the books and starts hitting himself until his nose starts bleeding. ,,What are you doing, psycho?", asks Ling Greed with a raised brow and crossed arms. Instead of answering him, Envy just shouts: ,,MUMMY! HELP ME!" ,,You little rat!", hisses Ling Greed with a killing mien. Envy answers with a mischievous smirk.

But when his mother suddenly enters the room, he instantly starts crying. Ling Greed is speechless. ,,What happened?", asks Quinn with a puzzled look before she starts stroking Envy's head tenderly. ,,Nothing...!", murmurs Envy. ,,You're bleeding, love...! Come on, let's go to the bathroom and clean your wound! And then, we can buy us ice cream, all right?" Envy nods silently.

Meanwhile, Quinn addresses herself to Greed: ,,What you did is not tolerable. Next time, you should rather read a book instead of using it as a weapon, understood?" Her voice is calm whereas her look is reprehensive. ,,Reading, not hitting. Got it", replies Ling Greed with a nasty smirk. ,,Good boy! And now apologise to your little brother!", commands Quinn with an angelic smile.

,,I'm sorry, little brother!", announces Greed with an insincere smile and harshly strokes his hair before exiting the room. Quinn smiles happily before addressing herself to Envy again: ,,Vanilla or strawberry?" ,,I'm not hungry!", hisses Envy with crossed arms. ,,What's wrong, love?", asks Quinn with a tender smile and is just about to stroke his head when Envy suddenly backs away.

,,Greed almost killed me and yet you don't even bother to punish him properly!" ,,But he apologised, right?" ,,Come on! There's no way this was a sincere apology! I hate him!" ,,Please don't say that, love...!" ,,Why not, huh?"

,,Because he's your brother...! And brothers are supposed to love each other...!" ,,And mothers are supposed to love every child to the same extent! However, you clearly love him more than me!", hisses Envy before hastening away all of a sudden. Quinn sighs...

OOO

,,I don't know what to do, King...! No matter how hard I'm trying, he just does not want to believe me when I tell him that I love him as much as I love his siblings...!", she murmurs when she and King are lying in bed in the late evening. ,,Maybe you should have punished Greed after what he'd done." ,,No, punishments are a bad idea!"

,,But sometimes, they can be very useful. In order to teach children how to behave properly, for instance." ,,This is not a military school, King." ,,Listen, Q. I'm not saying that you should abuse them. But -" ,,Greed didn't hit Envy with that book...!" ,,What?" ,,Envy hit himself...!" ,,How do you know that?" ,,A mother knows such things...! Trust me, he did it, not Greed...!"

,,But that doesn't make any sense! Why would Greed apologise to his brother if he was innocent?" ,,I don't think that Greed actually was that innocent... Somehow, he must have provoked Envy... And to be honest, I'm a little worried... Or perhaps more than just a little..." ,,Oh please, Q. They are brothers." ,,Brothers who obviously hate each other, King!"

,,Don't you think that you're overreacting a little?" ,,I don't know... Am I...?" ,,Yes, you are, darling." ,,You're right...! It's just that I'm worried and... Did I mention that I was worried...?" King chuckles softly. ,,Don't worry, Q. You are a wonderful mother. And that is only one of the many reasons why I married you", he then whispers before tenderly kissing her...

OOO

,,Are you having an affair with her...?", asks Quinn hesitatingly, after she has slept with him for the first time in months. Right now, they are lying in their bed and staring at the ceiling. ,,Excuse me...?" ,,Please, King...! I know how hard she's trying to seduce you...!" ,,But that doesn't automatically mean that I'm interested, too. You are the woman I love and not her."

,,Are you saying that you never even considered to -?" ,,Not once! I meant what I said infront of the altar, Q!" Quinn does not answer. ,,What do you expect me to do? Because I'd do anything to prove -!" ,,Just kiss me, King!" King obeys...

OOO-OOO

 _Amestris, January 2017_

,,Morning, handsome", chuckles Lan Fan when Edward wakes up next to her. ,,What happened?", asks Ed with a panic-stricken look. ,,Relax, okay? We merely ate sweets and fell asleep. Nothing more than that." ,,Uh... Good...", murmurs Ed and gives a yawn. ,,Ouch." ,,Come on, you know what I mean." ,,Sure." Deafening silence.

But eventually, Ed cautiously asks: ,,How are you...?" Only after a while, Lan Fan finally answers: ,,Better... Thanks..." Ed nods silently. ,,Now what...?", he then asks. ,,No idea." ,,Well... We don't have school today..." ,,Yeah, so?" ,,You can stay longer, if you like..." ,,In other words – I should not leave this room as long as your mother is home, right?"

Ed does not answer right away. But then: ,,To be honest, that's one of the reasons why I want you to stay... I mean, she doesn't know about Winry's and my break-up yet and I'd rather keep it that way..." ,,I thought you and your family decided to establish a so-called _honesty-policy_?"

,,That can wait until tomorrow. Because today is her birthday." ,,Uh. Good point." ,,Yeah." ,,But what will we do if I stay? Because, you know? I'm like _done_ with video games." ,,I'm open to suggestions." Lan Fan answers with a conspiratorial smirk.

OOO

,,Mr Bradley is going to invite us for dinner?", asks Edward with a puzzled look. ,,Us as well as the Armstrongs, Maes, Elicia, May and Winry", enumerates Trisha with a happy smile. ,,The gang will be complete, huh?", asks Al with a cheeky smirk. Trisha answers with a soft chuckle. However, she abruptly falls silent, when Ed asks the following question out of the blue: ,,What about _him_?"

,,I don't know, honey...!", murmurs Trisha with a sad look. ,,I'm going to invite him!", decides Alphonse. ,,And I'm going to invite Lan Fan!", decides Edward spontaneously. ,,Lan Fan...?", asks Trisha with a surprised look. Alphonse is also visibly surprised.

Edward does not know what to answer at first, until he suddenly has an idea: ,,Well... Kimblee and Lan Fan are...! You know...?" ,,Uh...! I had no idea...!", murmurs Trisha with a look Ed cannot interpret which is why he cautiously asks: ,,Are you cool with that or -?" ,,Absolutely, honey! Lan Fan is an adorable girl!", interrupts Trisha. Ed and Al do not answer.

OOO

,,Wait! You are actually going to allow _that boy_ to enter this house?", asks Cat with a disdainful look. Right now, she and Olivier are sitting at the breakfast table. ,,Like it or not, sis. Solf J. Kimblee is still your private tutor. That's been the deal. So, yes, he is totally going to enter this house", answers Olivier with composure.

,,But last time, he's been here, he hold a gun in his hand!" ,,Good. Let's hope that he'll do that again. Perhaps, that way, he can force you to focus better on the subject matter." ,,You're a terrible sister!", hisses Cat and stands up. ,, _Needless to say_ – you are absolutely adorable", retorts Olivier dryly.

OOO

,,LAN FAN! YOU CAN COME OUT!", announces Ed from the living room after his brother and mother have left the flat. When he turns around, she is already standing behind him. Ed almost jumps out of his skin. ,,Damnit, Lan Fan! You scared the hell out of me!" ,,Good. Because you've just ruined my day." ,,What? How?"

,,Because of you I will have to join that freak show tonight!" ,, _Freak show_? What the hell, Lan Fan?" ,,Um, hello? The only people I do _not_ wanna kill tonight, are May, your mother, Alphonse, Alex, Maes and Elicia." ,,Hey, come on! I'll be there, too, remember?" ,,I didn't say your name when I listed the few people, I do _not_ wanna kill tonight, remember?"

Ed rolls his eyes. ,,Okay, you know what? We still have enough time until then!" ,,Yeah, so?" ,,I dunno, let's just do something that will relax you." ,,Like what, huh?", asks Lan Fan with a nasty smirk. ,,Whatever you want", answers Ed who hasn't seen her smirk yet. However, when he does see it, he instantly starts regretting what he's just said: ,,Oops...!" ,,You don't say!", she chuckles...

OOO

In the early afternoon, Kimblee is sitting in Catherine's room. ,,You made the same mistakes as last time. Did you do that on purpose or are you just not intelligent enough to understand that?" ,,No and no. You're just a miserable teacher, that's all", retorts Catherine with a disdainful smirk. ,,Wow. Being you must be convenient", remarks Kimblee sarcastically.

,,And being you must be a nightmare. Am I right, _daddy_?" Solf raises an eyebrow. ,,Let me guess – Envy?" ,,Yep. But don't worry. I can keep a secret", giggles Catherine. ,,I bet, you can." ,,So?" ,,What?" ,,What are you going to do? Will you shove her down the stairs?" ,,Wow. You really do hate Winry, don't you?", asks Kimblee sarcastically.

,,Nope. I just hate you. Winry is my friend." ,,Oh please. You two obviously hate each other." ,,Says who?" ,,Envy", answers Kimblee with a scheming smirk. Catherine does not answer. ,,So? What's the story?", asks Kimblee relaxedly. ,,Honest answer?" ,,Honest answer."

Cat sighs. ,,She's never liked me for some reason which is why I stopped liking her in return. That's it." ,,That's it?" ,,That's it. She's my Ling Greed, if you will." ,,I don't hate Ling Greed." ,,Yes, you do, Kimblee." ,, _Says who?_ " ,, _Envy._ " ,,Well, your lover is lying." ,,He's not my lover." ,,Are you two having sex?" ,,Usually, yes. Recently, no." ,,See? He is your lover. And a liar."

,,I don't care whether he's a liar or not. He's my friend, so." ,,And your lover." ,,No, dammit! He's just a friend who did me a favour, okay?" ,,So he's been your first fuck, huh?", asks Kimblee with a nasty smirk. Catherine does not answer verbally. Instead, she just nods silently. ,,And who's better? He or Ling Greed?" ,,Just so you know – I never slept with Ling Greed!"

,,Is that so?" ,,Yes, dammit!" ,,But you wish you did, huh?", chuckles Kimblee. ,,What? No! Neither you nor Ling Greed will ever get in touch with my vagina!", clarifies Catherine. ,,Ouch. That broke my heart", retorts Kimblee with a sardonic smirk. Catherine rolls her eyes. ,,What about Kain Fuery?", he asks nonchalantly. ,,What about him?" ,,Do you like him?" ,,Yes, I do like him!"

,,And would you also have sex with him if he asked?" ,,Are you nuts? Envy would _ruin_ me!" ,,How?" ,,Well. First of all, he would stop sleeping with me. That would drive me crazy and I'd probably kill myself, so." ,,But leastwise, you're not a drama queen", retorts Kimblee sarcastically. ,,Who are you to judge, slut?" ,,Ouch", mutters Kimblee dryly.

Afterwards, he argues: ,,But even if Envy stops banging you, you can still have Fuery." ,,Not such a good idea. I mean, he's a virgin whereas Envy is... Well..." ,,I'm all ears", announces Kimblee with a nasty smirk. ,,Why are you so interested in all of that, anyway?", asks Catherine with a suspecting mien. ,, _Honest answer_?" ,, _Honest answer_."

,,On the surface, you and I couldn't be more _not_ alike. However, there is this one thing that we have in common." ,,Envy's friendship." ,,Yes. I mean, you and I are Envy's only friends except for those statists at school, and Lust of course. And being Envy's friend means knowing of -" ,,His dark side, too", finishes Cat. ,,Precisely. So?" Catherine does not answer at first.

But then: ,,I guess, the point is that I can see his bright side, in the first place. And that's what I like about him." ,,Nonsense, Catty. We both know that you're not one of those _bright ones_. You're rather a she-wolf in sheep's clothing." ,,What...?" ,,You're hiding _something_. And I'm dying to know what that _something_ is", whispers Kimblee with a conspiratorial smirk. Catherine does not answer at first.

But all of a sudden, her insecure look turns into a rather scheming one. ,,How much are you willing to pay to find out my secret?", she then asks in a whisper. ,,That depends on the price, Princess", retorts Kimblee with a similarly scheming smirk. ,,Trust me, I'll name it eventually! But not today!", she announces in a whisper and smirks cheekily.

OOO

Meanwhile, Ed and Lan Fan are occupying an unoccupied tree house in the middle of nowhere. It took Lan Fan forever to persuade Ed, but finally he has taken the joint, she had handed over to him. As a consequence, he's being high at the moment: ,,Those Bradleys are responsible for the Yugoslavian War! Like Envy shapeshifted into a soldier and killed a child! And then BANG!"

,,Okay and then?" ,,Many people died, including Scar's family! And the Bradleys used all dead men's souls to produce a _philosophers' stone_!" ,,And then they gave that one to Kimblee!", continues Lan Fan who is also high. ,,Wow! You're right! And you know what?" ,,What?" ,,Your grandpa has superpowers, too! He can sense the aura of the homunculi!"

,,What are homunculi?" ,,That doesn't matter, okay? What matters is, that your grandpa is able to sense their aura!" ,,And what about May?" ,,She can also do that! But at the same time, she's an alchemist, just like Al! And Kimblee! And our father! And our evil uncle! And Alex Armstrong! And Scar! And Marcoh! And Mustang, of course!" ,,What about McDougal?" ,,Alchemist."

,, _Gold-Tooth_?" ,,Alchemist." ,,Your Sensei?" ,,Alchemist." ,,The other members of Hohenheim's sect?" ,,Alchemists and ordinary people." ,,And Greed's friends at the _Devil's Nest_?" ,,Chimeras, of course." ,,Gosh, Ed! You're so damn right, they are totally deluding us all the time!" ,,Bastards!", hisses Ed before both of them suddenly start chuckling hysterically.

OOO

Three hours later, Ed and Lan Fan, who are not that high anymore, smoke a cigarette. ,,Nobody will know! Because otherwise, my mother will definitely _kill_ me!" ,, _Kill_ joy", retorts Lan Fan with a teasing smirk. Ed answers with a furious look. ,,What next?", he then asks with a rather determined look. ,,I don't know. Will we be alone in your apartment?"

,,Yep. Mom will arrive in one hour and Al is babysitting some stranger's cat for money, so." ,,Wow. Al really does like cats, doesn't he?" ,,No, he doesn't just _like_ them, Lan Fan! He _loves_ them like crazy! Cats are Al's top favorite animals!" ,,Just like pandas are May's." ,,And dogs are Kain's", adds Ed. ,,Kain is hot." ,,You think that everyone's hot", mutters Ed.

,,No, not everyone. Just Kain." ,,You mentioned that." ,,And Ling." ,,Of course." ,,And Kimblee." ,, _Of course_." ,,And Envy." ,,What the -?" ,,Mustang." ,,Gross." ,,Lust and Catalina." ,,Seriously?" ,,Scar, Miles." ,,Hello? Too old, Lolita!" ,,They're thirty." ,,Yeah, yeah. Is that finally it?", asks Ed grumpily. ,,Yeah, that's pretty much it. The others are blond, I prefer black beauties."

,,Screw you!", hisses Ed. ,,Oh. Must be hard for you that there's one person in the world who's not having the hots for you, huh?", chuckles Lan Fan. ,,Shut up, okay?" ,,Sure. Since it's your turn anyway." ,,I won't enumerate hot girls, okay?" ,,You're right, you won't. Because I'm asking you to _enumerate_ hot persons in general and not only girls."

,,No!", grunts Ed. ,,Okay, I'll just ask you. May?" ,,She's my brother's girlfriend!" ,,Okay. What about Catherine?" ,,Too girly." ,,Sloth?" ,,Gross! She could be my mother's twin!" ,,Okay. Obviously you're no Freud material." ,,You don't say." ,,What about Olivier?" ,,Too cold." ,,Lust?" ,,Too hot." ,,Is that even possible?" ,,Apparently, yes."

,,Catalina?" ,,Um..." ,,Uh-huh! I knew it! Everyone is craving for her -!" ,,Next!", interrupts Ed grumpily. ,,Okay, okay!", chuckles Lan Fan before she continues: ,,Hawkeye?" ,,Not bad." ,,Winry?" Silence. But then: ,,You know the answer..." ,,Right, I do." ,,Good." ,,Rose?" Silence.

,,Gotcha!", chuckles Lan Fan. ,,Okay, that's it! I'm done with that game!" ,,No, you can't be! I haven't asked you yet which boy you regard as hot!" ,,Your loss! I'm -!" ,,What about me?", interrupts Lan Fan. Awkward silence.

But then: ,,I don't know...!" ,,What the fuck?" ,,That's a tough one, okay?" ,,Not really. I mean, how is that a tough question? Either you think I'm hot or you don't." ,,Why is that so important, anyway, huh?" ,,Because I do think that you're hot." ,,No, you don't!" ,,Says who?" ,,You said that!", hisses Ed. ,,Uh, right. Well, that was a lie." ,,Are you serious...?"

,,Yeah. I mean, you must be like the only blond person in the world with whom I'd fuck." ,,But... I thought we were friends...?" ,,We are." ,,And I don't even know yet whether I think you're hot or not!" ,,Let's find out, then." ,,What...?", asks Ed who is visibly confused.

When Lan Fan suddenly sits down on his lap, he is rather puzzled. ,,What are you doing...?" ,,Relax, okay? I won't rape you. I'm a virgin, remember?", chuckles Lan Fan. ,,Sorry but I don't buy that one!" ,,Why not?", asks Lan Fan with a nasty smirk. ,,Because... You are so... Fearless when it comes to boys..." ,,I'm rather scared of girls. And of you, of course." ,,Really...?"

,,I don't know", answers Lan Fan in a whisper before she starts kissing him, cautiously. Edward does not move at first. But then, he starts kissing her back. First hesitatingly, then wildly. Simultaneously, he slowly slides his hand down her back before touching her bottom. And just like that, Lan Fan intensifies the kiss.

Ed is aroused on the one hand and thoroughly confused on the other hand, when she suddenly starts touching his crotch, which is why he abruptly interrupts their little game. ,,Stop...!", he pants. ,,What is it...?", asks Lan Fan, again in a whisper. ,,I can't do this...!" ,,Why not...?" ,,Number six...!" ,,What the hell?" ,,That would make you the sixth one...!"

Lan Fan raises an eyebrow. ,,Wait a sec. You actually know with how many people you've already made out?" Ed just nods silently. ,,Don't you...?", he then asks sheepishly. ,,Not really. But hey, I got it. Apparently, you're not interested, so." ,,Yes, I am!", answers Ed impulsively. ,,Okay... Now, I'm officially confused", announces Lan Fan dryly.

,,Listen, I've made that mistake more than once...!" ,,Making out with a friend?" Ed nods before verbally adding: ,,And just like that, our friendship ended..." ,,That sucks", remarks Lan Fan dryly. ,,Yeah... It does... Anyway, would you mind -?" ,,Sure", interrupts Lan Fan and sits down next to him again.

,,Damnit...!", mutters Ed who is still having an erection. ,,Sorry." ,,Liar." ,,At least, we know that you think I'm hot", chuckles Lan Fan. ,,But why is that so important, anyway?", asks Ed with a confused look. ,,Because I wanna get fucked by you", answers Lan Fan nonchalantly. ,,No, you don't! You wanna get fucked by my brother!" ,,A threesome would be fine with me, too." ,,Gross!"

OOO

When Trisha and Alphonse meet at home, she announces: ,,I'm afraid, Olivier won't join us later because of Mr. Lowe's birthday... Too bad, I actually like her..." ,,Me, too, but hey, don't be sad! Because guess who will join us instead!" Trisha cannot believe her ears: ,,He said yes?" Alphonse nods with a cheeky smile. ,,My son, the irresistible!", chuckles Trisha softly.

Al smiles rather happily this time until he suddenly remembers something disappointing. ,,What is it, honey?", asks Trisha with a worried look. ,,May caught a cold. She won't be able to make it today but she gave me your present." ,,My present...? Oh my...!" ,,What?", asks Al with a weak smile. ,,I just can't believe how sweet she actually is!" ,,I know right?", chuckles Al with blushed cheeks.

OOO

Almost twenty minutes later, Ed and Lan Fan are smoking a cigarette in the back courtyard. ,,Are you sure, you wanna do this?", she asks. ,,I have no choice! Mom expects me to invite Winry! Hence, I can't just go there without her!" ,,You could tell her that Winry has something else to do." ,,And what if she meets her on the stairs or something?"

Just when Lan Fan is about to answer, Winry suddenly enters the back courtyard. ,,Winry...!", mutters Ed. Winry does not know what to say which is why she is just about to leave again, when Lan Fan, who has just rolled her eyes, intervenes: ,,Today is Trisha's birthday and guess what – she wants to see you, too! So hurry up because we'll meet them at the restaurant in an hour!"

Winry answers with an inquiring look. Therefore, Ed is just about to specify everything when his ex rises to speak first: ,,I know. I've already been invited and I'll be there. See you, guys." And just like that, she disappears, leaving her two speechless neighbours behind. ,,Who the hell -?", begins Lan Fan. ,,I think we both know the answer", interrupts Solf's brother. Lan Fan does not answer...

OOO

When they are later standing infront of the door of _Giolio's_ _Ristorante_ in the Amestris Avenue, in Central, Lan Fan smokes another cigarette. ,,You can go inside, if you like", she offers. ,,Because I can already see your mom and some of the others in there."

,,No, I'll wait for you", decides Ed who hasn't said a word since their last conversation. Afterwards, he also peeps through the window in order to see who has already arrived. With an annoyed look, he notices that there are only four empty chairs at their table and no Solf and Winry yet.

Suddenly, his stream of thought gets interrupted by the arrival of this elder brother. However, neither Ed nor Lan Fan can see Winry anywhere next to him. Doffing his hat, Kimblee, a sardonic smirk on his face, rises to speak: ,,Good evening." ,,Where is Winry?", asks Ed with gritted teeth. ,,Excuse me?", mutters Kimblee with a raised eyebrow.

,,Winry. Blonde hair, Australian accent. You know, the girl, you invited after you'd impregnated her", answers Lan Fan sarcastically. ,,Sorry to disappoint you _mes amis_ , but I have no idea what you're talking about. Except for the blonde hair, the Australian accent and the pregnancy-stuff, of course." Ed and Lan Fan are visibly confused.

,,Wait, does that mean, you didn't...?", asks Edward with a surprised look. Only now, all three of them suddenly notice that Winry is taking a seat next to Envy at the table at that very moment after she has just exited the toilet. ,,No freakin' way...!", murmurs Lan Fan with a distraught mien. The boys do not answer.

OOO

Almost an hour later, the three of them as well as Wrath, Sloth, Alex, Maes, Trisha, Pride, Alphonse, Elicia, Greed, Lust, Envy, Winry and Catherine are waiting for the desserts. So far, the only conversations that have taken place were those among the five adults as well as those among Al and Pride. However, Elicia, Greed, Lust, Envy, Winry, Cat, Solf, Lan Fan and Ed remain silent.

At least, until Cat suddenly asks: ,,How come that you two don't hate each other anymore?" Except for the five adults, everyone stares at her before staring at Envy and Winry next. Even Al and Pride who are no sensationalist persons in general are listening attentively at that very moment. ,,We've never hated each other! I was just angry because of his behaviour towards Kain!", claims Winry.

,,So what? It's not like he and Kain have suddenly become friends or anything", interposes Lust. ,,Which is too bad because frankly, he seems to be a very nice person", she adds with an angelic smile that is completely out of character. ,,Wait a sec! Are you guys having sex?", asks Greed who is addressing himself to his sister.

Without awaiting Lust's answer, Kimblee addresses himself to Lan Fan: ,,Wow. Looks like you're the only virgin in this group. Except for those who aren't sixteen yet." ,,Shut up, _daddy_ ", retorts Lan Fan dryly. ,,Wait a sec! You are a virgin? I thought that was a joke!", chuckles Ling Greed amusedly. ,,Your existence is a joke", mutters Lan Fan.

,,So true", interposes Envy with a mocking smirk in Ling Greed's direction. ,,Shut up, ugly", hisses Ling Greed. ,,Getting old", yawns Envy theatrically. ,,Guys, please! Not today!", intervenes Alphonse with a pleading look. ,,Why not? Your mother and the others are not even listening to us!", argues Catherine.

This time, Ling Greed addresses himself to her: ,,Speaking of that – what are you doing here, anyway?" ,,I never thought, I'd say this but that's actually a very good question, brother", interposes Selim sarcastically. ,,What the hell are you two talking about?", asks Edward with a confused look. ,,Uh, I see. Looks like nobody has told you about Christmas Eve yet", snorts Selim.

,,Don't told me _what_?", asks Ed impatiently who has missed the Christmas dinner at the Bradley house. ,,It's nothing, brother!", reassures Alphonse, however Ed just ignores him and addresses himself to Catherine instead: ,,I'm listening!" Cat does not know what to say.

Therefore, she suddenly gets up and announces: ,,You know what? I'm done. Bye." And just like that, she throws a few bank notes on the table, even though King Wrath is supposed to pay for all the guests, and leaves without awaiting a reaction. Except for the five adults, who have missed the drama, everyone is speechless.

But suddenly, Alphonse rises to speak this time: ,,Are you happy now, you two?" Greed and Pride answer with surprised looks. Al rolls his eyes and is just about to get up in order to follow his girlfriend's best friend, when Ling Greed rises to speak again: ,,Oh come on, mate. Just sit down and relax. Nobody's going to miss her anyway."

,,I'm not your mate!", hisses Al and exits the restaurant. The others are astonished, to say the least. ,,Okay, could someone please tell me what the hell is going on?", asks Ed who is both confused and angry. ,,I've just started to actually like Alphonse but other than that I'm clueless", chuckles Envy mockingly. ,,I know this is getting old but shut the fuck up", retorts Greed relaxedly.

Just when Envy is about to insult his brother, the owner of the restaurant – Dolcetto's uncle Giolio Comanche – suddenly arrives at the table, announcing: ,,Well, well, everyone! Here are the desserts and -!" All of a sudden, Comanche falls silent. The fourteen remaining guests of that table answer with inquiring looks.

Meanwhile Comanche is addressing himself to Kimblee: ,, _Perdinci_! What are you doing here?" The others answer with confused looks and say nothing whereas Trisha instantly intervenes: ,,Is there a problem, Sir?" ,,Indeed, Miss! That young gentleman is not welcome in my _ristorante_! He's a terrorist! And a racist!" ,,Please, Sir! There must be a -!", begins Trisha.

However, she gets interrupted by her oldest son: ,,It's okay. I was about to leave anyway. Thanks for the invitation." And before anyone has the chance to intervene, Kimblee just exits the restaurant. The others are speechless at first. It is only when Trisha suddenly gets up in order to follow him, that Greed rises to speak: ,,Don't. Give him some space." Trisha hesitates. But finally, she sits down.

OOO

Approximately fifteen minutes later, Kimblee bumps into Catherine who is standing in a street corner and waiting for her personal chauffeur. ,,Hello, stranger", she mutters when she recognises him. ,,Hallo. Alphonse is looking for you." ,,I know. We talked and he's been charming and persuasive as always."

,,And yet you're here and not with them." ,,So are you. How come, huh?" ,,I'm not looking for you, if you're thinking that", retorts Kimblee with a mocking look. Catherine rolls her eyes. ,,I was just about to offer you a ride home but _for some reason_ I've happened to change my mind", she then retorts sarcastically.

Kimblee cannot hold back a nasty smirk. ,,Too bad. I'm sure we would have had a lot of fun." ,,Doing _what_?", asks Cat with a cheeky smirk. ,,I'm open to suggestions, Princess." Catherine answers with a rather conspiratorial smirk this time.

OOO

,,Okay. To be completely honest, I didn't see that one coming", announces Kimblee with composure when the two of them later find themselves standing in Scar's living room. ,,I'll be in his bedroom!", giggles Catherine and disappears. With a confused look on his face, Kimblee follows her, asking: ,,What exactly are you expecting to find? Your sister's panties?"

,,Gross, Kimblee!" ,,Says the girl who's rummaging around her teacher's underwear", retorts Kimblee sarcastically. ,,Hey, the moment I've found that Christmas gift of his, I knew that he and my sister...! You know? But what I really need is something I can blackmail her with!" ,,Blackmail the _Ice Queen_? I really don't think that this would ever work."

,,Of course, it would! He's with Rose Thomas, after all!" ,,So what? Are you going to hurt Thomas, too?", asks Kimblee with a raised eyebrow. Abruptly, Catherine looks up from Scar's drawer, asking rhetorically: ,,Since when is Mr. Kimblee such a pussy, huh?" ,,What the bloody hell?", asks Kimblee with a confused look, yet with composure.

Catherine answers with a cheeky grin while slowly walking towards him. ,,The Solf Julius Kimblee, I know, would never give a fuck about Rose's or anyone else's feelings. So tell me -" Suddenly, she starts stroking his tie. ,,What happened to that person? Did _Winry_ murder him?" Once again, Solf raises an eyebrow. ,,You're definitely spending too much time with Envy", he then retorts dryly.

Rolling her eyes, Catherine backs away from him. ,,Come on, let's go. I'll find another way to kick my sister's arse anyway." ,,Really, huh? What made you change your mind all of a sudden?", asks Kimblee with an amused smirk. ,,I just lost my interest for today, that's all. Right now, I'd rather love to make use of the wonderful circumstance that my sister isn't home."

,,So? Are you going to rummage around her underwear next?" ,,Nope. I'm merely going to relax in my whirlpool and drink up her vodka." ,,Nice. Perhaps, I should inform Ling Greed. I'm sure, he'd love to join you." ,,But I wouldn't let him join me", giggles Catherine. ,,We both know you would."

Once again, Cat rolls her eyes. ,,Like I said – Ling Greed is taboo!" ,,Is that so? Because I thought that this rule became obsolete the moment Envy started fucking _your best friend_ Winry." Catherine does not answer at first. However, eventually she murmurs with a pensive mien: ,,Ling Greed is Ling Greed... So, no... But..."

,,But?", asks Kimblee with another raised brow. ,,Well!", exults Catherine – suddenly cheerfully. ,,Thankfully, he's by far not the only person Envy cannot stand!" ,,Wow. So you've finally decided to break Fuery's heart, huh?" ,,What? No! I'd never do that!" ,,Of course not, Princess." ,,I'm merely going to break my rules!"

,,How? Are you going to wear something that is not pink?", asks Kimblee sarcastically. ,,Nope. I'm going to get fucked by a blond person", announces Cat nonchalantly. Even though Kimblee knows full well who she is referring to, he pretends to be clueless: ,,No way, you're actually going to backstab your bestie by sleeping with her boyfriend?"

,,Silly you! Of course not! Al is just a friend! Ed, on the other hand..." Although he seems to be as relaxed as always, Kimblee is quite puzzled inwardly. Of course he has seen it coming since the moment she has opened that discussion, but either way he just can't believe it. _,,First Lust, then Winry, then Greed, then Lan Fan and now Cat? Looks like they prefer blond beauties after all."_

OOO

Later that day, Edward smokes a cigarette in the back courtyard while listening to Lana Del Rey's _Black Beauty_ , when suddenly his older brother _enters the stage_. ,, _You_...!", murmurs Ed with an astonished look. ,,Yes, _I_ ", retorts Kimblee dryly. ,,What do you want, huh?", asks Ed, a little grumpily this time.

After having cleared his throat, Kimblee rises to speak again, sounding slightly sarcastic as usual: ,,Well... That's actually a very good question and believe me, I'd love to answer it. Problem is, I have no idea where to start..." ,,Shoot!", grunts Ed with gritted teeth. ,,Okay, fine. Recently, I've found out about the identity of Dante's one and only ally." ,,What the -?"

,,But that's not relevant anymore." Ed gulps. ,,Why not...?" ,,Because he's gone anyway." ,,For fuck's sake, don't tell me he left the country!", hisses Ed with a furious look. ,,Not really. I mean, he was planning on leaving, however instead he got sort of killed. Uh and by the way – his body is hanging from the ceiling of our basement." Ed is beyond shocked while Solf remains relaxed...

 **Thank you so much for reading and also for reviewing! (:**

 **For the rest: Next chapter will be named after Lana's song _Jealous Girl_**

 **Kisses, PinkChocolateGlitter (;**


	29. Jealous Girl

**Disclaimer: I don't own the mentioned brand names, the song titles and I also don't own Fullmetal Alchemist (c'est dommage...)!**

 **Information:**

Before we move to the real story, I want to explain a few things ahead, that don't need to be necessarily read but I personally feel like they could be sort of important to the readers.

Storyline: As mentioned before, the whole mystery-stuff is going to end once and for all in chapter 30. Also, your questions are going to be answered at the end of the following chapter (:

Victim: So Frank Archer was the last murder victim, thus there won't be any further murders in this story. Promise! (;

Allusion: Remember how 2003-Frank Archer is eager to catch all those chimeras? Good.

Everything is said for now, so let's move to the story!

 **\- Chapter 29: Jealous Girl -**

A few days later, Edward and Lust meet in flat 1b. ,,Here we are. _D._ is dead and yet we're having one of these meetings again", she mutters with crossed arms. ,,Blame it on Solf Judas!", grunts Ed. ,,But I have an even better idea! Tell me what's going on! I mean, who is... Was that guy?", he then asks, not with gritted teeth this time.

,,Counter question – how come that you don't know that yet? I mean, hasn't Kimblee told you anything about Archer?", asks Lust with a raised brow. ,,Of course not! That bastard just informed me about the dead boy in our basement and then just _moonwalked_ away! No one has seen him for days! _Needless to say –_ my mother is worried sick!"

,,I see... And how come that you've contacted me of all people?" ,,Well... Believe it or not... But for some reason... In a way... I just trust you...!" This time, Lust raises both eyebrows. Ed rolls his eyes. ,,Come on! Just do me a favor and don't lie to me, okay? It's bad enough that all your siblings are liars!" ,,What about your _brother_ , huh?"

,,Don't get me started on that stupid sociopath, okay?" ,,Okay, okay. Uh and he was my ex, by the way." ,,I know!", grunts Ed. ,,No, not Kimblee. I'm talking about Archer." ,,Hell no", mutters Ed and runs his fingers through his hair. ,,Okay, fine. So he's your ex. Surprise, surprise. What else?" ,,Well, Greed, Envy and Pride -" ,,Hell no", repeats Ed after having heard those names.

,,Yeah, I know", mutters Lust before she starts anew: ,,He used to go to school with us. He and his younger brother. He was mainly friends with Roa, Martel, Dolcetto, Paninya and a few others before Ling Greed had even known them. Back then, Greed has been a downright lone wolf. His male schoolmates hated him for being so popular among girls which is why they excluded him."

Ed answers with a surprised look. ,,Well, Frank didn't hate him. He felt sorry for Greed which is why he introduced him to the _cool kids_ , if you will. However, Greed one day decided to bite the hand who'd fed him. He did anything necessary to exclude Frank. Loyal Dolcetto has been Archer's only friend left. Yet, he's been loyal to Greed in the first place. And then came Kimblee." ,,Great."

,,No, it's not like that. In fact, he and Frank became friends. Probably because he's been a loner, too, back then. Anyway, they became friends. But when Roa and the others left our school, Greed, who's been on his own again, decided to join Archer and Kimblee this time. Archer forgave him and everything went back to _anormal._ At least, until..."

,,Yes...?" ,,Well. Perhaps, you know that Dolcetto's uncle is Giolio Comanche..." Ed gulps. ,,Damnit, they burnt down his restaurant, didn't they?" ,,They did. However, before they did it, Frank had confronted Kimblee and Greed. Because after all, he and Dolcetto have been friends which is why he didn't want to join them. He rather wanted to talk to the police after the incident."

,,But...?" ,,Like I said, Archer had a younger brother. And Solf saved his life one day. I don't remember the details anymore. It has been staged anyway. Either way, Greed, Solf and Frank became the criminal trio again. Eventually, Greed got bored and found himself another hobby. And when Solf got institutionalised one day, Frank has suddenly been on his own again."

,,What happened next...?" ,,I _happened_. After Kimblee had turned out to be a Nazi, I told Archer about the staged rescue operation. Kimblee has been locked up anyhow but Greed? No. However, if Archer had talked to the police Greed would have told them about his crimes, too." ,,Which is why Archer chose to take revenge by becoming _D.'s_ ally instead..."

,,Apparently, yes." ,,But that doesn't make any sense! Why would he harm every Bradley while solely being mad at one member of your family?" ,,Well, for all I know, Greed is not the only one he has been angry with. He didn't seem to hate me and Sloth but he definitely did hate our father, Envy and Pride." ,,But why them?"

,,Pride, because he bullied Archer's brother and Envy, because he treated him like shit. For some reason, Archer's brother used to look up to Envy. He would have done anything for him. And when Envy one day had an argument with our father, he asked the young boy to devastate the headmaster's office and car. He even got kicked out off school because of that."

Ed answers with a distraught look. ,,Gosh, I hate your stupid family!" ,,I'm shocked", retorts Lust dryly. ,,And my so-called _brother_!" ,,Yeah, well... Speaking of him..." ,,Let me guess – you know where he's staying?" ,,Well, yes. And you know what else...?" ,,What?", hisses Ed. ,,He has found a job so he can find himself a place to stay. But until then, he'll stay at our place."

,,Stupid bastard. Did he forget that my mother is working at that house?", grunts Ed. ,,To be honest, I'm sure that your mother working there is why he decided that in the first place." ,,Fine. And what exactly does he want from her?" ,,Perhaps you should ask him." ,,The hell! He can do whatever he wants as long as he doesn't hurt my mother, my brother or my friends!"

,,Judging by that, I assume that you're not interested in a relationship with him, huh?" ,,Precisely! And guess what – the same applies to your damn family!" ,,Why the bloody hell is that?", asks Lust calmly, however with a confused look. ,,Because you guys make me sick! I mean, is there any crime you haven't committed yet? I do know about murders and incest but -!"

,,Wow, wait a sec! Incest?" ,,Yeah! As in _having sex with a relative_!" ,,What are you talking about?" ,,I'm talking about your fuck with your own damn brother!" ,,Which one?" Ed cannot believe his ears: ,,No way! You slept with more than one brother? Don't tell me, Ling Greed actually got what he wanted, after all!" ,,Ling Greed?", asks Lust with a thoroughly confused look.

,,Yes, Ling Greed! Or was it Pride? All I know is that you got banged by Envy but your ' _which one?_ '-question sounds as if he hasn't been the only one! And since Ling Greed wants to fuck you so badly that it hurts my mind, I -!" ,,Wait, what?", asks Lust with a shocked look. Ed answers with an inquiring look at first.

It is only when he realises that he has just said too much that he gulps before hesitatingly asking: ,,You... Had no idea...?" After having cleared her throat, she answers: ,,Well... People have claimed that very often but I've never truly believed it. It's not true, is it? You just said that because you'd caught those rumours, right?" ,,Right!", fibs Ed unconvincingly. Deafening silence.

But then: ,,Anyway. I should go now." Ed just nods silently. ,,I'll see you at school. Unless, of course, you're going to avoid me from now on." ,,What? No! Why would I?" ,,You despise our family, remember?" ,,What? No! I don't! Only Envy! And Greed! And Pride! And... To be honest, Sloth and I ain't best friends either. And I could swear your father -!"

,,I got it", interrupts Lust who cannot hold back a chuckle at that moment. A chuckle that makes him smile for a split second. ,,How is Lan Fan?", she then asks out of the blue. ,,Fine, I guess... Why are you asking...?" ,,Are you two having sex?", asks Lust next instead of answering Ed's question beforehand. ,,We're just friends, okay?", he clarifies with a grumpy look.

,,Okay, okay", chuckles Lust. ,,Say hallo to her on my behalf. She seems to be a cool person." Ed nods silently. But then he also asks an unexpected question: ,,Do you have a boyfriend?" ,,Excuse me?", asks Lust sarcastically. Within seconds, Ed blushes. ,,Hey, I'm not asking because of what happened in October, okay? I'm just curious!"

,,Why?" ,,Because Kimblee impregnated Winry! And Havoc got fired! And Mustang... You know what? Just stay away from our teachers and daddies-to-be, okay?" ,,Fine", mutters Lust with rolling eyes. ,,Very generous. Thanks." ,,You're _absolutely_ welcome." Ed answers with a soft chuckle. Lust, on the other hand, smiles inwardly, before suddenly becoming pensive...

OOO

In the meantime, Envy and Winry are meeting infront of his house. ,,You wanted to talk to me?", asks Envy with rolling eyes. ,,Yes. I was just visiting Mr Hughes to borrow him a crime novel. He's obsessed with those. Anyway... I wanted to thank you for your help...! Ed indeed seemed to be narked when he saw us together and that felt good..." ,,But?", asks Envy as indifferently as possible.

,,I know him, Envy... Ed hasn't been the slightest bit jealous... He's merely been angry because he's a hypocrite who doesn't allow others to break my heart just so he can do it instead..." ,,In other words – he failed the test, huh?", asks Envy. ,,Stop smirking, drongo!", hisses Winry. Envy is a little surprised because for the first time, it hasn't even been his intention to demonstrate mischief.

However, instead of apologising, he just asks: ,,Now what, huh?" ,,Now... You're free to figure out something else in order to torture him. Sorry that I was no help at all", mutters Winry sarcastically. ,,Come on, it's not your fault that he doesn't give a damn about you", retorts Envy sarcastically. Or maybe not that sarcastically. ,,Ouch...", mutters Winry.

,,Sorry", answers Envy half-heartedly. ,,Sure, Envy. Whatever, I should go now. And please tell Catherine that I'm sorry in case I should have angered her." While saying those words, Winry couldn't have sounded less sincere. Therefore, Envy suddenly realises: ,,Oh my...! You don't like her, do you?" Winry rolls her eyes. ,,I'm tired of answering that question."

,,Wait a sec! Does that mean that everybody knows about it already?" ,,No, but they're assuming it." ,,Deeply interesting. How come?" ,,Well, apparently I'm not that good at hiding it." ,,No, that's not what I meant! How come you don't like her?" ,,Why do you even care? Uh right, I forgot, you're her bestie with benefits!" ,,Says who?", asks Envy with crossed arms and a raised eyebrow.

,,Frankly, I forgot who told us that but I think it was your brother. Either way, I don't buy it." Envy cannot believe his ears. Yet, he at least seems to keep his cool when he asks: ,,Why would Ling Greed lie to you?" ,,I didn't say that. I rather think that Cat and you are the liars." ,,If so, why would we lie to any of you?" ,,Well, that's actually a good question, Envy", remarks Winry sarcastically.

,,Then answer it, bitch!", hisses Envy. ,,Ouch, Envy! You're hurting me!" Only now, he realises that he is grasping her wrist so harshly, that it almost starts bleeding. However, he retracts his arm just in time. ,,Drongo!", mutters Winry. ,,Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry, so?" ,,What, huh?" ,,You were about to tell me something." ,,Was I?" ,,Yes, so?" Winry does not answer right away.

But then: ,,Fine. My theory is that either Cat is trying to make somebody jealous or that you are..." ,,Trying to do the same?", asks Envy with a calm voice, yet with a hopeful look. ,,That's what I was thinking before... But then, Lan Fan said something... It sounded silly at first... But after having thought about it, it suddenly started making perfect sense to me...!"

Envy discreetly gulps. Right now, he's fighting his inner urge to kill her. But all of a sudden, he comes up with another idea which is why he instantly decides to change the strategy. As if he was chit-chatting about the weather, he now relaxedly asks: ,,So you're thinking that I'm a gay boy who has found himself a hot alibi, huh?" Winry answers with a surprised look.

 _,,Bull's eye, bitch!"_ , chuckles Envy inwardly. ,,Well... Um... Are you...?", asks Winry cautiously. Once again, Envy gulps as discreetly as possible. But then, he happens to come up with another idea: ,,Let's find out, Rockbell!" And just like that, he suddenly starts kissing her. Winry's body is stone still at that very moment.

 _,,What is he doing...? And why am I...? Those god-awful hormones...!"_ And as if by magic – very, very dark magic – Winry starts kissing him back all of a sudden. Inwardly, Envy is already bursting into very, very loud and mischievous laughter. _,,At least, that pathetic bitch knows what she's doing! Hats off, Kimblee! Looks like you've been a good teacher!"_

Suddenly, their little game gets interrupted by Ling Greed who has just exited the house. Within seconds, Winry removes her lips from Envy's mouth. ,,Oh, poor girl. Are you desperate for money, huh?", asks Ling Greed sarcastically after he has overcome his inner shock. Envy rolls his eyes. ,,Bye, Rockbell", he then chuckles before entering his house.

Therefore, Winry and Ling Greed are alone now. A nasty smirk on his face, Greed rises to speak again: ,,Okay, I know that you're going to be a fat person soon but that doesn't mean that you have to get used to _lower standards_." ,,I know. That's why I'm kissing him and not you", retorts Winry with a killing look. ,,Ouch. The blonde angel actually broke my heart", pouts Ling Greed jokingly.

,,Funny", remarks Winry dryly. ,,Hey, I'm downright serious. I can imagine that your hormones are driving you crazy, lately. But Envy? Seriously?" ,,I'm off!", hisses Winry and is just about to go when Greed once again rises to speak: ,,You're Winry Rockbell, dammit! Not Catherine! Therefore, you clearly deserve a better fuck than that!" Winry abruptly halts. But then, she just goes away...

OOO

King returns on Sunday evening from his short trip to the countryside. On Monday evening, Lust is waiting for him in his home office. ,,What can I do for you?", asks Wrath with a fatherly smile. ,,I need to talk to you about him...!" ,, _Him..._?" ,,J... Mr Havoc...!" Wrath who has already taken a seat, instantly gets up from his chair. ,,No!", he declares as calmly as possible.

,,Father, please! He did nothing wrong!" Only now, Wrath raises his voice: ,,He slept with his underage student!" ,,Because _I_ seduced _him_!" ,,I don't want to hear that!" ,,And I wasn't underage anymore!" ,,Don't lie to me!" This time, Lust raises her voice: ,,Why are you being such a hypocrite?" ,,Hold your tongue!" ,,Please -!"

,,This discussion is over!" ,,But, father -!" ,,Get out!" Lust answers with a puzzled look. ,, _Now_ , Solaris!" Lust does not move at first. But when she suddenly notices how fiercely her father's hands are shaking, she decides to obey. Yet, she slams the door shut after having exited his home office.

OOO

,,You stupid girl", remarks Ling Greed who is leaning against a wall in the corridor and must have overheard their argument. Lust does not know what to say which is why she just ignores him and goes upstairs. However, Ling Greed spontaneously decides to follow her. ,,I mean, did you seriously expect him to overthink his decision after what that pervert had done to you?"

While arriving at their own corridor, Lust hisses: ,,He didn't rape me, Greed!" ,,Trust me, I know that full well. I'm just telling you what our father is thinking. Or let's say what he's _forcing_ himself to believe." ,,What's that supposed to mean?" ,,That means that nobody is truly judging Havoc! They are rather judging you, lady!", retorts Greed in an uncharacteristically snappy voice.

That hit home: ,,So you're saying that they think that _I_ am the pervert?" ,,Precisely", answers Ling Greed with composure. However, he immediately starts feeling uncomfortable when Lust suddenly starts smirking conspiratorially. ,,Thank God, that I'm not the only one, huh?" ,,What are you talking about?", asks Greed who's trying to sound as indifferent as possible.

Lust's smirk widens. ,,What is it that you'd wanted to tell me on New Year's Eve before we got interrupted?", she then asks out of the blue. Ling Greed does not answer right away. But then: ,,I just wanted to tell you that we weren't related. Because that's what I'd thought before our biological mother got unmasked the same night..." ,,Deeply interesting." ,,If you say so."

Lust just smirks nastily before turning around and heading for the stairs. ,,Where are you going?", asks Ling Greed with composure. ,,I have to fix something!" ,, _Deeply interesting_. I thought you didn't know where your teacher is staying?" ,,I talked to him on the phone on New Year's Eve, remember?" ,,So what? Either way, there's nothing you can do for him!"

,,Well, the least I could do is to apologise to him!" ,,For what? I thought he finished with you and not vice versa?" ,,Forget it, Greed. You wouldn't understand that anyhow." ,,Yeah, because it's nonsense." ,, _If you say so_ ", chuckles Lust before going downstairs. Ling Greed answers with a disdainful look before heading for his room...

OOO

Meanwhile, Ed and Al are sitting in their kitchen and eating fast food. Silence. But then, all of a sudden: ,,Ed... Come on, just tell me what happened between you two...!" ,,Huh...? What do you mean...?" Al sighs. ,,It's sad enough that May told me about your break-up and not you so could you at least try to be honest when I ask you straightforward?"

This time it is Ed who sighs. ,,I'm sorry, Al..." ,,Then prove it!", retorts Alphonse calmly, yet with a reprehensive look. ,,I can't...!" ,,Look, Ed. May knows what happened and is willing to tell me everything, however I'd like to hear it from you! Because even though you seemed to have forgotten it, I for one can still remember how close we used to be...!"

,,Al...! We still are -!" ,,No, we're not. And, you know? That's totally fine with me. We're not the _Gilmore Girls_ , so." ,,Damnit, I hate that series!", hisses Ed. Normally, Al starts laughing whenever Ed rants about such trivial things. However not this time: ,,Ed...!" Abruptly, Ed, who was just about to rant and rave, falls silent. ,,I won't judge you, Ed...! Promise...! Brother...?" Deafening silence.

But then: ,,I had sex with somebody else...!" And before Alphonse has even the chance to stomach the news, Ed suddenly starts vomitting verbally: ,,It just happened, okay? I mean, you know me! I'd never cheat on anybody just like that! But I did! Because I'm a horrible person! I even did it more than once! You have no idea how much I hate myself for having made such a terrible mistake!"

When Al is about to say something, Ed just interrupts him: ,,I know that she's pregnant with someone else's child but that happened before she and I became a couple! Thus, _I_ am the asshole and you have no idea how much I hate myself for...! Damnit, I screwed everything up! This is not like me! I mean, I did break some legs but never someone's heart, right? Right?" Silence.

But then: ,,You're too old, Ed." Ed is beyond confused: ,,What...?" Alphonse – downright calm – continues right away: ,,I'm just saying, brother. I'm sure, things would have been different if you'd met her one or two years ago. And to be honest, I could swear that the same applies to her. I mean she did chose you at first. However, she spent more time with your older brother than with you."

Ed is speechless. ,,You know? When you and I met Winry, that's been my first thought. Crush? Yes. Love? No. Friendship? Definitely!" ,,Well... I guess it's too late for the latter...!" ,,No, Ed! It's never too late! I know you! You're a fighter so go and fight but before you start, ask yourself what exactly you're planning on fighting for! Because if you ask me, you're merely interested in a friendship!"

,,What gives you that idea, Al...?" Only now, Al's voice switches from _composed_ to _serious_. ,,Brother...! God knows you're not a perfect person but there are barely people outside who are more genuine than you and yet you broke the taboo by cheating on someone...!" And for the first time after all those weeks, Ed starts truly realising: ,,Damnit...! Al...! I freakin' cheated on Winry...!"

,,I know, that's what everyone has been told by Perez Hilton", retorts Alphonse sarcastically, yet with an angelic smile. ,,I hate it when you're being sarcastic", grunts Ed. ,,I know, brother. But let's rather talk about you and Winry! So, what are you going to do now?" Ed does not answer at first.

But then: ,,Damnit... Everything you said was right... Like most of the time..." ,,So...?" ,,I wanna be her friend! But I don't wanna be... In a relationship with her...!" That has been the first time, Edward has said it out loud. And it felt incredibly good. However, Alphonse does not allow him to feel good yet: ,,You know what my next question will be, right?" Ed does not answer right away.

However, he suddenly comes up with an idea: ,,Tell me something about your life!" ,,What...?" ,,Oh, come on! You can't just ask me about my secrets without giving away any of yours! That's just not how brotherly boundaries are working!" ,,Says someone who is surely _not_ socially incompetent." ,,Al! Sarcasm!", hisses Ed with gritted teeth. Al answers with amused laughter.

,,Sorry, brother! I couldn't resist! But all jokes aside! Because you're right!" ,,Am I, huh?", asks Ed sarcastically. ,,Who's being sarcastic now, huh?", asks Al with a cheeky smirk. ,,Al!", grunts Ed. ,,Okay, okay! I'm an open book!", chuckles Alphonse. However, he abruptly falls silent, when Ed suddenly asks straightforward: ,,Have you slept with May already?"

Within seconds, May's boyfriend blushes. ,,Um...! May loves Lady Gaga more than any other musician!", he then stutters. ,,Nice. But that's like... Not the answer to the question I asked, you know?" Al nods silently. And for some reason, Ed starts feeling sorry for him: ,,Okay, you know what, Al? You don't -!" ,,We did it!", reveals Alphonse all of a sudden.

,,What...?" ,,I...! She...! New Year's... E-Eve...!", stutters Al. ,,Holy crap, you did it in the Armstrong mansion?", asks Ed with a puzzled look. Al is looking like a tomato at that very moment. ,,Well... Yes... I mean, that's where we first met..." Ed cannot believe his ears: ,,Wait a sec! That's why you did it there? Because that's the place where...? Oh man...!" ,,What...?", asks Al insecurely.

,,Nothing... It's just that I sometimes doubt that you and I are biological brothers... Then again, mother seems to be a romantic person, either..." ,,Hey, Ed, listen! You're not _not_ romantic, okay? One day, you're going to have a relationship, too! And except for mother, me and our friends, everyone is going to envy you for having such a wonderful girlfriend!" _,,Did he just say 'Envy'...?"_

,,Understood...?" _,,And did he just say 'girlfriend'...?"_ ,,Brother...?" ,,Alphonse...!" ,,Yes...?" ,,I'm...!" Deafening silence. ,,You're _what_ , Ed...?", asks Alphonse patiently. _,,I'm bisexual!"_ ,,Ed...?" ,,Hungry! I'm hungry!" ,,But... You haven't even finished your -!" ,,I'll grab us something to eat from your lover's restaurant!" ,,Hey, May is not just my _lover_ , okay?" ,,See you later, Al!" Al sighs.

OOO

Meanwhile, Jean and Lust are sitting in his parking car infront of the residential building Rebecca is living in. ,,What happened, after you'd picked them up on New Year's Eve...?" ,,Well... I drove them home. Nobody said a word. And when we finally arrived, I asked them to wait upstairs for me so I can quickly park the car before explaining everything to them." ,,But...?" ,,I didn't show up..."

,,Why not...?" ,,Because I just couldn't, okay? I'm still too ashamed...!" ,,But why? I mean, hasn't it ever occurred to you that your sister and your friend might have made some mistakes in their lives, as well?" ,,Winnie and Roy? Please!" ,,Oh, my dear Jean. You have no idea, have you?" ,,What are you talking about, Solaris...?" ,,That, you should probably ask them!" ,,I'm asking you!"

,,Well, but I won't tell you anything." ,,But I thought we were -!" Not only does Lust interrupt him, but she also raises her voice a little: ,,We are _nothing_ and that's your bloody fault!" ,,Hey, why are you being such a bitch? _You_ cheated on _me_! And now I'm jobless, sort of homeless _and_ single!" ,,What about Catalina?" ,,Okay, are you deaf, oblivious or just stupid as fuck? She's just my _friend_!"

,,Hey, don't yell at me, okay?" ,,I can yell at you whenever I want! It is _my_ car, _you_ are sitting in, _my_ job, I've lost because of _you_ and _my_ heart that has been broken by _you_! And speaking of that – why have you come here anyway? You texted something about an explanation but -!" ,,Remember what I told you on New Year's Eve...?", she suddenly interrupts.

,,Of course! That night, you asked me to follow your instructions without asking any questions. You said you would explain everything to me afterwards. Which you didn't, of course. Anyway, you also asked me to come over and take Winry with me because the same person who'd told the world about our secret relationship has been after her, too and -!"

,,That person was my mother...!" Havoc is speechless. And just like that, Lust starts telling him everything. However, she leaves out Winry's and Sloth's pregnancies, her affair with Mustang, the death of Maria Ross as well as her immoral adventure with Envy years ago. ,,So... Kimblee is an Elric and Rose well... Almost each of you is a murderer...! Not that I'm judging or anything...!"

,,Hey, listen! I can't believe that I'm saying this but if you want you can use the munition I've just provided you with in order to get your job back or just do whatever you feel -!" ,,Are you insane? I would never do that!" ,,But Jean -!" ,,Hey! Your father did that to protect his son! And Selim was just a young child when -!" ,,Listen, there are still things you don't know yet, Jean!"

,,Oh please, what on earth could be more shocking than your affair with the killer of Riza Hawkeye's father and -?" ,,I did something to take revenge on you after you'd finished with me!" Jean abruptly falls silent. But then: ,,Are you saying that you were the one who had made that tape...?" ,,Of course not! That was Lyra... Dante...!" ,,Then what have you done instead, huh...?"

Lust gulps. ,,I'll tell you what I've done but just keep in mind that it wasn't his fault, okay?" ,, _Whose_ fault, Solaris?" ,,Back then, he had no idea that I'd been in a relationship with you before I slept with him!" Havoc who is gradually solving the riddle, widens his eyes. ,,So please don't be angry with him, okay...? Jean...?" Deafening silence.

But then: ,,Why are you telling me this...?" ,,What...?" ,,You heard me! So why, Solaris?" ,,Great... You're angry..." ,,No, I'm not!", clarifies Jean angrily. ,,Yes, you are...!" ,,Okay, you know what? You're right, I am angry! I mean, why _him_ , of all people?" ,,Because I wanted to hurt you!" ,,Congratulations! You succeeded!" ,,No, wait! That is what I wanted _back then_ but not anymore!"

,,Is that so, huh?" ,,Yes! I'm telling the truth!" ,,Sorry, but I don't buy it! Let me guess! He broke your _so-called_ heart and now you want me to get into a fight with him so you can take revenge on him, am I right?" ,,No, you're not! Listen, I -!" ,,Get out!", interrupts Jean with a furious look. A look, Lust has never seen on his face before...

OOO

When Winry enters her flat on Tuesday, after school, she unexpectedly witnesses a fight between Roy and her brother which is why she doesn't even get the time to delight in his return. ,,Just answer this one question! Did you talk me into ending that relationship so you can replace me afterwards?" ,,Don't be ridiculous, Havoc", snorts Roy. ,,What she and I had was _nothing_!", he adds.

,,Then why did you sleep with her in the first place, huh?" ,,Hey, I had no idea about your fling, okay?" ,,No, it's not okay, Roy! I've always known that you're a tramp but at least you'd never banged minors before! But now that I know of you and Solaris, I can't help myself but wonder whether my sister is safe around you!"

That hit home. Yet, Roy keeps his cool: ,,That's hilarious. And also rich coming from you." ,,Oh, come on, I slept with _one_ minor and besides, Winry is my sister!" ,,So what? I didn't even sleep with one minor, since Lust isn't underage anymore." ,,Semantics, Roy!" ,,Either way, I would never try to seduce your sister! And you know that full well!" ,,Do I, huh?"

,,I guess so because otherwise you probably would have talked to the police by now." ,,Who says that I'm not going to knock on Riza's door after we'll have ended our discussion, huh?" ,,You know what, Havoc? Go ahead, because if you ask me, _this_ is not even a proper discussion." ,,Yes, it is and you can't just end it on a whim! Because I'm not done with you yet!"

Just when Roy is about to answer him in a way that would probably break Jean's heart, Winry impulsively shouts: ,,I'm pregnant!" Deafening silence. Nobody dares to say a word. But when the only girl suddenly realises that her brother's face colour is gradually changing from pale to crimson, she abruptly exits their flat and starts running as fast as she can.

OOO

On the stairs, she bumps into her ex-boyfriend of all people. ,,Winry...!" ,,Oh my God...! Ed...! Run...!", she pants with a panic-stricken mien. Edward answers with a confused look. ,,NOW!", she shouts and suddenly grasps his wrist before dragging him outside. Ed is too puzzled to react at that very moment and Winry herself is too busy to understand what she is actually doing.

It is only when they halt in a street corner, that she suddenly starts wondering: ,,Wait! What am I doing?" ,,Thanks! I was just about to ask you the same question!", pants Ed. ,,Fuck, I need to stop smoking!", he then complains. But Winry just ignores him: ,,Right now, Jean is surely suspecting you and thus, probably wants to kill you so why am I saving you? You deserve to be killed!"

,,Winry...!" ,,YOU DESERVE TO BE KILLED!" Ed is speechless at first. But then: ,,STOP YELLING AT ME, OKAY?" Suddenly, Winry bursts into hysterical laughter. ,,Winry...?", asks Ed cautiously. ,,God, I'm such an idiot!", she giggles. Right now, she's sounding like someone who either lost it completely or is totally drunk. Either way, Ed is worried. ,,Winry...! What happ-?"

,,Nothing, okay? I'm fine! So put back your stupid, faggoty white armour and your white horse, who's fucking its mother, because guess what – I don't need you anymore! And the truth is that I just fell for you because of your handsomeness! And your faked sense of justice! Uh and the sex was nice, too, but to be fair, the only comparison I have is the father of my future child and...!"

Ed does not dare to react which is why Winry rises to speak again: ,,Oh my God...! I got knocked up! By a criminal! And I started a relationship with a guy who fucked other girls while being with me! And I got kissed by Ivan Envy Bradley! And last night, I masturbated and thought about you while doing so! And then I masturbated again but this time I thought about Ling Greed!"

Edward is downright speechless. But all of a sudden, he can hear himself yelling: ,,For fuck's sake! Shut up!" And just like that Winry falls silent. ,,Thank you...!", murmurs Ed, still with a distraught mien. However, after a few seconds he calms down and strikes a more soft note: ,,Come on, let's take a walk...!" Winry does not answer right away. But after a while, she just nods silently...

OOO

A few hours later, Ed gets hugged by her infront of her flat door. ,,Thank you", she whispers into his ear. When Ed is about to leave, she just whispers the following words into his ear: ,,Not now, okay?" Ed chuckles softly. ,,Okay...!", he then whispers. ,,And never forget that I'll always be there for you, Winry...!" Hearing those words, Winry slowly removes her arms from his shoulders.

,,I know...", she then murmurs. ,,And I also know that you're going to be a fantastic uncle", she then adds with a weak smile. ,,Too early for jokes, don't you think?", grunts Ed and forces himself to smirk cheekily even though he is actually not in the mood for that after having heard those words. ,,Shut up, Casanova", chuckles Winry.

Yes, they've finally become friends. However, she hasn't completely forgiven him yet. But: ,,I'll try to forgive you, okay?" ,,So will I... Because no matter how much you hate me – I hate myself all the more...!" Winry does not answer right away. Instead, she suddenly asks: ,,Is it true that you didn't sleep with Lan Fan or any of the other girls, I know?" Ed does not know what to answer.

But since Jean suddenly opens his door from inside, Winry is distracted anyway: ,,Jean...!" ,,Winnie, thank God!", he sighs with relief before suddenly hugging his younger sister. Edward smiles angelically before quietly walking away and going downstairs. Right now, he's in the perfect mood for a cigarette.

OOO

,,You, too?", asks Lan Fan with a cheeky smirk, when she also enters the back courtyard, and lights up her own cigarette. ,,Yeah... I just had a long conversation with Winry... The best conversation ever since we've met...! And I'm so glad that we had it! But unfortunately, trying to be socially competent is challenging as hell for people like me...!"

,,I know, I know. And I'm happy that you two have finally managed to become good friends after all." ,,Wow." ,,What, huh?" ,,Those words are so out of character that I'm wondering whether I should be worried or just grateful." ,,Funny, _San Francisco_. Whatever, I'm listening." ,,Excuse me?" ,,Come on, you know what I mean! Give me the bloody details!" ,, _Bloody_?"

,,Sorry. Spent too much time with Brits." ,,Either way, I won't tell you anything!" ,,Why not?" ,,Because you'll find a way to mock us. Besides, that's none of your business." ,,Okay, you know what? You don't need to tell me what happened because I know it anyhow." ,,What? Nonsense!" ,,Nope. Let me guess – you promised to help her with the baby despite not being the father."

,,Well... Yes but -!" ,,And then she thanked you before asking whether I've been the side chick the entire time?" Ed's hush speaks volumes. ,,I knew it", chuckles Lan Fan. ,,I'm happy that you're enjoying this so much", grunts Ed sarcastically. ,,Hey, I'm just pissed off, okay?", clarifies Lan Fan, who is striking a more serious note all of a sudden. ,,You're kidding, right...?"

,,No, I'm not! Since that day, she caught me and your brother making out in the basement, she's treated me like shit! That's not fair, she's just giving you a second chance because of your goddamned handsomeness!" ,,Well, another reason might be that I actually apologized to her whereas you've kept ignoring her ever since!" ,,Yeah, but other than you I did nothing wrong!"

,,You almost slept with a boy she's obviously falling for!" ,,Who cares? She's been in a relationship with you while I was _not_ sleeping with him!" ,,Wow, since when do you yell at people?", asks Ed with an astonished look. But instead of answering his partly rhetorical question, Lan Fan suddenly reveals: ,,Hell, I hate that bitch!" Ed answers with a puzzled look.

,,She's like _Rory Gilmore_!" ,,Wait, you know _Gilmore Girls_?" ,,Just because she looks like an angel, everyone treats her as such! I mean, you cheating on her was a very mean thing to do but why is nobody mad at her? I swear to God, a few weaks later, she would have done the same damn thing to you!" ,,Lan Fan...!" ,,What, huh?", she snaps at him. ,,Relax, okay? That's so not like you!"

Only now, Lan Fan realises that she just has happened to break one of her most important rules: ,, _Never show your true feelings in public!"_ Therefore, she immediately calms down, shrugs and then just leaves. Edward is quite bemused at that moment. ,,Lan Fan...! Hey...!" But Lan Fan does not answer. Instead she just closes the door from inside...

OOO

A few minutes later, Ling Greed, who is sitting in his car that is parking somewhere, gets a phone call by her of all people which is why he raises an eyebrow before answering his mobile phone: ,,Since when?" ,,Uh, right", mutters Lan Fan and is just about to hang up when Ling Greed rises to speak again: ,,Let's meet at the _Devil's Nest_." Lan Fan does not answer right away...

OOO

However, almost an hour later, she enters Greed's favourite bar and heads for the couch he is sitting on. ,,I'm listening, Chang", announces Greed relaxedly. ,,I hate Winry", reveals Lan Fan nonchalantly. ,,How come?", asks Greed, still relaxedly. ,,Because nobody else does. Well, except for your brother perhaps." ,,Sorry to disappoint you but I caught them kissing a few days ago."

,,No way...! Even the gay boys are _Iggy-addicts_...?" ,,Envy's not gay." ,,He definitely is bisexual though." ,,Well, I for one know of two females he has banged and one girl he has kissed." ,,Winry..." ,,Yeah. So what's the deal, huh? Are you jealous or something?" ,,Yes", admits Lan Fan with composure. ,,Are you insane or something?" ,,Huh...?"

,,Don't get me wrong, though. Many girls are jealous of that incredibly hot and also smart humanbeing, and with good reason, if you ask me. I mean, if she asked me to fuck her at that very moment, I'd take her right on this couch." ,,Okay, shut the fuck up!" ,,Unless, of course, you would ask me first because you're way hotter than her." ,,Okay, go on!"

,,After all, you're like the perfect mixture of her and Lust." ,,Okay, shut the fuck up!" ,,Nope, I'm just being honest." ,,Gross, Ling." ,,The name is Ling _Greed_. Anyway, I told you the truth. A truth that is conveniently complying with everything you've wanted to hear." ,,Well. Not everything. You ruined the moment when you told me about your wanking phantasies with your own damn sister."

,,Who says that these are just phantasies?", retorts Ling Greed with a naughty smirk. ,,Double-gross!" ,,Prudish Americans are prudish." ,,Yeah, you're right, that's definitely a matter of being prudish and not – you know – mentally stable." ,,Come on, we both know how much you're adoring lunatics." ,,But not the perverse kind." ,,Who says that Kimblee isn't a pervert, too?"

,,I'm sure, I would have noticed that by now." ,,You mean by _not_ getting fucked by him?", asks Ling Greed with a teasing smirk. ,,Hey, _Ling_. Who told you about my virginity?" ,,You just did." ,,What...? No way, you've already said something similar on _Mommy Elric's_ birthday!" ,,That day, I've merely been guessing. But now, I officially know it since you've just sort of confirmed it."

,,Why isn't anyone else believing it then?" ,,Because you're doing a very good job at hiding it. And usually, people aren't greedy enough to find out the truth. No matter how much they're infatuated with you." ,,Who are you referring to?" ,,Kimblee, of course. I mean, do you seriously believe that Ed is interested, too? Because he probably isn't." ,,What gives you that idea?"

,,Why do you even care?" ,,Answer my question and I'll answer yours", retorts Lan Fan with an uncharacteristically serious look. Ling Greed rolls his eyes. ,,Fine. Edward Elric prefers body parts you don't have." Lan Fan does not know what to answer at first. But then: ,,Holy sh...! But... How come that he got an erection when we made out for a split sec?"

,,Well, he's actually bisexual. But if you were a boy his erection would have been twice the size of that." ,,And you know that because...?" ,,I wanked him off in the shower", reveals Ling Greed nonchalantly. ,,Wow, wait a sec – you're bisexual, too?" ,,Nope, I don't think so. I've just happened to kiss one guy, wank off the other one and I also used to whip one to teach him a lesson."

,,Please tell me, that he hasn't been dead already." ,,So far, I haven't killed anybody. At least not on purpose." ,,Are you referring to that incident with Maria Ross?" Ling Greed answers with an astonished look. ,,Kimblee", answers Lan Fan as if she was reading his mind. ,,But -?" ,,I asked him about the incident after you'd first told me about it. _Nobody got harmed_ , huh? Liar."

,,Oh come on, we've barely known each other back then. And in my defence – that day you tricked me so your gang could break into my bloody house, remember? Hypocrite." ,,Touché." ,,See? But whatever, let's just not be unforgiving arseholes. Uh and speaking of arseholes -" ,,If you finish that question you'll officially deserve to die." Ling Greed chuckles amusedly.

Once again, Lan Fan rises to speak: ,,Seriously, though. I hate you guys for having been such horrible persons." Like most of the time, she's sounding as if she's talking about the weather. ,,I mean, we got it. You two indeed did have a tragic childhood but so did we." ,,Be fair, okay? I never used my childhood as an excuse." ,,Yeah, right. You're rather using your second name as such."

,,Not really. I mean, I've never claimed that I was a good person. And neither did Kimblee. Yet you decided to allow him to touch your -" ,,Please don't say ' _pussy_ '." ,, _Vagina_. That's what I wanted to say." ,,So. Judging by that, I guess you're not feeling sorry for Maria Ross or Frank Archer?" ,,Judging by what? The word ' _vagina_ '?" ,,Yes, _Ling_." ,,The name is... Uh, fuck it. Yes, I do."

,,Seriously?" ,,Of course. I even buy flowers for her from time to time. I won't buy any for Archer, though." ,,Why not?" ,,Because other than Ms Ross he hasn't been a good person." ,,That's not what I've been told." ,,Let me guess – Lust?" ,,Well, acutally Ed. But yes, she -" ,,Lust tends to idealise her ex-lovers." ,,Is that so?"

,,Yeah. Besides, she just liked him because of his relationship with his brother that probably reminded her of her own relationship with Gluttony." ,,Okay, I got it, Freud. Still. What your brothers did to that innocent boy is -" ,,My brothers did nothing to Archer's brother, who – by the way – hasn't been innocent at all." ,,Wait, so you're actually defending them? If so, I'm all ears."

,,Well, for some reason, that kid just admired Envy like a drug addict. Him and Sloth. At least enough to become Envy's slave and to duff Pride up when he realised how close he and Sloth are. Uh, and he also devastated our father's office at school. Hats off, kid." ,,Freak." ,,Yeah I know but in his defence -" ,,No, I'm talking about you." ,,Of course you do. But hey, are you done now?"

,,Why, huh? Isn't it nice to indulge in reminiscences?" ,,Nope. Besides, we're not _indulging in reminiscences_. You're cross-questioning me, that's what's actually happening here, you know that, right?" ,,Yeah. I'm just curious, that's all." ,,Why?" ,,Because you guys are soap opera-material." ,,Are you a writer or something?" ,,Not yet. But I'm sure, I will be some day."

,,Nice. Which actor is going to play me?" ,, _Don't be silly_. _Who could ever replace you_?" ,,Good answer, Chang." ,,I know, _Bradley_." ,,Dammit, girl! Why is it always _Ling_ or _Bradley_?", chuckles Ling Greed. However, Lan Fan knows full well that he's not quite fine with that. ,,Because you're a _greedy_ bastard who always gets what he wants", she retorts with a teasing smirk.

,,What is it that you want at that very moment?", he asks with a quite similar smirk. ,,A _mate_ ", answers Lan Fan with a cheeky smirk. ,,Good choice. And now, tell me what you want to drink, _mate_." ,,Surprise me, _Ling_." Greed answers with a smirk she cannot interpret. Meanwhile, the radio is playing Lana Del Rey's _Jealous Girl._

 **Thank you so much for reading and also for reviewing! (:**

 **For the rest: Next chapter will be named after Lana's song** ** _Sad Girl_**

 **Kisses, PinkChocolateGlitter (;**


	30. Sad Girl

**Disclaimer: I don't own the mentioned brand names, the song titles and I also don't own Fullmetal Alchemist (c'est dommage...)!**

 **Information:**

Before we move to the real story, I want to explain a few things ahead, that don't need to be necessarily read but I personally feel like they could be sort of important to the readers.

Content: You're going to find out who Van Hohenheim's killer is.

Character: One last new main character will be introduced in this chapter.

Everything is said for now, so let's move to the story!

 **\- Chapter 30: Sad Girl -**

On Wednesday evening, Winry is eating ice cream with chips in her kitchen when the door bell suddenly rings. A few seconds later, she is surprised to see: ,,Ling Greed...!" ,,Hey, Mummy." That hit home: ,,What do you want, you drongo?" Instead of answering verbally, Ling Greed just hands an envelope over to her.

,,What is that...?", asks Winry with a confused look. ,,An invitation. I'm going to marry next month", answers Ling Greed with composure. This time, Winry answers with a rather puzzled look. ,,Breathe, okay? I'm just kidding. Just take it, it won't bite you." ,,Open it!", commands Winry. Ling Greed rolls his eyes. Yet, he does what he's been asked to do.

Seeing all those bank notes in his hands, Winry widens her eyes. ,,Don't worry, I'm not trying to _buy_ something, I'm just the one who has been chosen to deliver it." ,,And who gave it to you?" ,,My flatmate." ,,One of your siblings?" ,,Nope. One of your ex-boyfriend's siblings." Winry cannot believe her ears: ,,Kimblee gave you that money...?"

,,Yeah. And in case you're wondering – it's not stolen." ,,But... I thought Olivier didn't pay him? I mean, didn't he end up as Cat's tutor because she'd helped him out of prison?" ,,Yes. Which is why he's doing something else to earn money. You know, there are many lonesome women out there and -" ,,Greed! No!" ,,Okay, okay. Man, one thing that definitely did not get pregnant is your humour."

,,How poetic!" ,,I know. And I guess, I should spare the _please sign here_ -joke and go now." ,,Define _here_." Greed is visibly surprised by that answer. ,,Well. I guess that quite depends on the pencil you would have used. For example, your hand -" ,,Greed! No!", repeats Winry. ,,Okay, fine. I'll go so you can masturbate while thinking about me."

Within seconds, Winry's face is turning red as a tomato. ,,I never think about you when I masturbate, okay?", she then clarifies, not quite convincingly. ,,Nice try. But hey, just so you know – I'm willing to replace your hand whenever you want me to", he whispers while sliding the money into one of her back pockets. After having slapped her across the backside, he smirks and leaves.

OOO

,,What the hell are you doing here?", he suddenly hears somebody asking when he is just about to exit the residential building. Ling Greed immediately recognises that voice which is why he puts on a smirk and turns around to face Ed: ,,It's been a while, mate." ,,Likewise. _Mate_." ,,Ouch. _Ice, ice, baby_." ,,Answer me!", commands Ed sharply. ,,Well, I've been asked to give Winry some money."

,,Really, huh? And who exactly is that generous person?" ,, _His_ or _her_ father." ,,Uh, you mean as in _the invisible man_?" ,,No, more like the _invisible yet generous man_." ,,Hey, that's not generous, that's the very least he can do!" ,,Come on, don't be so harsh. Because after all, his relationship with Winry is not the only one he's working on recently." ,,I know, she's my mother, too, remember?"

,,Yeah, speaking of mothers – there's something you should know", announces Ling Greed undramatically. ,,Which is?", asks Ed with gritted teeth. ,,Well. I was just wondering whether I'm allowed to do what I've stopped doing when you got in the way. You know. Trying to throw myself at her." ,,Are you nuts?" ,,Hey, leastwise, I'm considerate enough to ask instead of just doing it."

Ling Greed's sarcasm is unbearable and yet Ed manages to keep his cool: ,,Do whatever the fuck you want as long as nobody gets hurt!" ,,Don't worry. Other than you, I don't make promises I'm not willing to keep." Ed answers with a puzzled look. But then: ,,Okay, you know what? I'm done with you, bastard! And now, get the hell out of here!" ,,As you wish", whispers Greed with a nasty smirk.

OOO

On Thursday, Trisha overhears a conversation between Mr Bradley, his guest Solf and his five children who are having dinner at the moment. ,,How come that you of all people are eager to go to Archer's funeral?", asks Lust with a raised brow. ,,Well. We cannot deny that we are somehow connected to that family", answers King calmly.

,,Family? I think you've missed something there. There is no family any longer. Not even an uncle. Just Archer's younger brother", interposes Ling Greed. ,,But what happened to their parents?", asks King with a surprised look. ,,They died a few years ago. It was a car accident in Argentina", answers Sloth with a serious look.

,,When Frank turned eighteen, he accommodated his brother but now that he's gone the kid will probably go back to live with other orphans", continues Lust. King answers with a look, nobody can interpret. After having cleared his throat, he rises to speak again: ,,Either way. Going to that funeral would be the right thing to do. Even some of your teachers will be there, including Maes."

,,What about you, Trisha?", asks Pride all of a sudden when Trisha enters the room in order to serve the desserts. ,,Don't be silly. Why would she go to a funeral of someone who has seen more of her than vice versa?", asks Ling Greed nonchalantly. King Wrath answers with a reprehensive look. ,,Actually, we indeed planned on going to that funeral...", announces Trisha sheepishly.

,, _We_?", asks Solaris Lust with a raised eyebrow. ,,Yes. Edward, Alphonse and I", answers Trisha before discreetly scrutinising her other son. However, Kimblee intentionally ignores her. He does not know why exactly but he just does so at that very moment...

OOO

The funeral is quite short yet arranged beautifully. One could assume that Sloth has organised it. Many people have come: The Bradleys, the Elrics, Maes and Elicia, Nina Tucker, Roa, Martel, Paninya, Dolcetto, Catherine as well as some of the teachers including Alex Armstrong, Olivier Armstrong, Roy Mustang, Scodran Khan and even Miles Lowe.

Rose Thomas, who is working at a children's home on a voluntary basis, is the person who is escorting Frank Archer's younger brother. A thirteen-year-old with long messy black hair that is covering his face. ,,Is that...?", asks Edward who is addressing himself to Lust. ,,Yes...", she answers with a sad look...

OOO

After the funeral, she, Greed, Envy, Catherine, Solf, Edward, Roa, Martel, Paninya and Dolcetto come together infront of the _Leto Church_. ,,Come on, guys! I know a good place where we can drink a toast to him!", announces Dolcetto. With a weak smile, Paninya rises to speak: ,,Let me guess – the _Devil's Nest_?" ,,That was his favourite bar...", interposes Martel with wet eyes.

,,Come on, let's go then", decides Ling Greed and embraces her shoulders. ,,What about you?", asks Lust who is addressing herself to Edward, Envy and Catherine. Before one of them has the possibility to answer, Greed rises to speak again: ,,The princess won't join us. She would never enter such a place."

,,Too bad, I was just going to say yes but apparently I'm not welcome", pouts Catherine. ,,Of course, you are!", reassures Lust. ,,Let's go!", repeats Roa and the others nod in unison before heading off. The only one who is not moving is Envy which is why Edward also halts in order to see what he is looking at. Or _who_ he is looking at.

Edward is quite surprised when he realises that Envy is looking at Frank's younger brother who is standing infront of the entrance along with Rose, Maes, Elicia, Nina, Wrath, Sloth, Selim and even Trisha, who is just too _motherly_ to ignore an orphan. The thirteen-year-old does not say a word. Instead, he just nods whenever someone asks him a question.

Envy is so focused at that very moment that he does not even notice Ed's gaze. Ed, on the other hand, does not notice Alphonse's sudden presence. ,,Sad, isn't it, brother?" ,,Huh?", asks Ed with a confused look. However, Al just ignores him and continues: ,,I'm so glad that Mr Bradley has decided to take him back as a student." Ed nods half-heartedly...

OOO

Almost thirty minutes later Greed, Lust, Envy, Catherine, Kimblee, Edward, Roa, Martel, Paninya and Dolcetto sit down on the largest couches at the _Devil's Nest_. ,,Order whatever you like! Today, it'll be my treat!", announces Dolcetto. ,,How come?", asks Paninya relaxedly. ,,Oh my God, you're going to leave us, too!", realises Martel.

,,Wait, who told you that?", asks Dolcetto with a confused look. ,,You! A few months ago, you said that you'd pay for our drinks the moment you get that job in Berlin!", answers Martel with a sad look. Silence. ,,I'm sorry", murmurs Dolcetto. ,,Hey, don't be. Not all of us get the chance to escape this goddamned place", interposes Ling Greed before addressing himself to the waitress.

,,Archer, Paninya and Dolcetto. The list is getting longer and longer...", pouts Roa who is extraordinarily sentimental recently. ,,Are you daft? You can't just compare a murder to emigration!", hisses Paninya. ,,Yes, he can. Because Australia is the arse end of nowhere", retorts Martel with a reproachful look.

Suddenly their conversation gets interrupted by the waitress: ,,What can I offer you, my delinquent guests?" The guests cannot believe their eyes. ,,Lan Fan?", asks Ed with a confused look. ,,When did that happen?", asks Lust with an amused smirk. ,,Yesterday. Because my lovely grandpa fired me in order to replace me by someone who'd take that job more seriously", answers Lan Fan.

,,You mean, literally anyone?", asks Ed. Even though, he is downright serious, the others cannot hold back a chuckle. ,,And do you know who that person is?", asks Paninya. ,,He's sitting next to you", answers Lan Fan dryly. All eyes on Solf. ,,Poor girl. Her own grandfather replaced her by a guy he'd used to kick out off his restaurant a few months ago", chuckles Roa. The others laugh...

OOO

Three hours later they are still having drinks at the _Devil's Nest_ , except for Dolcetto, Paninya and Roa who are having other appointments. ,,I was sixteen. We did it in some random car", chuckles Martel. ,,What about you, Lust?", she then asks. ,,Same story, different girl. And girl", giggles Lust. ,,And what about you, Catherine?", asks Martel next.

,,Hey, I never slept with Frank Archer!", clarifies Catherine. ,,But didn't you go on a date with him?", asks Lust with a confused look. ,,Yes but he was a downright gentleman!", reassures Catherine. ,,In other words – you were a virgin back then", retorts Martel sarcastically. ,,Until my brother busted her cherry", interposes Greed with a teasing smirk.

,,Okay, that's the perfect moment to go!", announces Envy dryly and gets up. ,,Come on, don't be such a killjoy, I'm just kidding!", chuckles Ling Greed. Edward is secretly quite surprised at that very moment. Because for what most be the first time he witnesses an uncharacteristically friendly interaction between those two.

Ed's stream of thought gets abruptly interrupted when Martel addresses herself to him all of a sudden: ,,What about you, Ed?" ,,Huh? No, I didn't have sex with him", answers Ed absent-mindedly and causes amused laughter by mistake. Again. ,,No, jokester. I just wanted to ask you why you went to his funeral in the first place", specifies Martel.

,,Um, well... My mother found out about his younger brother's situation. And caring as she is, she suggested it", summarises Ed. ,,Wow. Your mum is very cool", remarks Martel. ,,Indeed", answers Edward with a disdainful look in Kimblee's direction.

,,Come on, let's take another round", decides Ling Greed out of the blue. ,,I'm sorry but I can't!", announces Martel. ,,Why not?", pouts Lust. ,,I have to go to a wedding", answers Martel. ,,A funeral and a wedding on the same day?", asks Catherine with a surprised look. ,,I thought the contrast would be nice", answers Martel with a partly sad and partly happy look.

,,A Bulgarian wedding, huh? Sounds entertaining. Take me with you!", chuckles Catherine. ,,Why not? Come, Princess!", offers Martel. ,,Wait, are you serious?", asks Cat with a confused look. ,,Of course. So? Are you in or are you out?", asks Martel with a conspiratorial smirk. Catherine does not answer right away. But then: ,,See you, guys! Come Martel, we'll ask my chauffeur to drive us!"

And just like that, Catherine and Martel are gone. ,,Okay, did you guys just see what I saw?", asks Lust with a puzzled look. ,,Yeah. I'd love to follow them since Bulgarian girls are known to be hot as hell but unfortunately I'm too drunk", mutters Ling Greed before addressing himself to Envy: ,,And since when is our princess such a spontaneous humanbeing?"

,,She's always been like this", answers Envy sharply. Ling Greed and Kimblee discreetly share a look as a reaction to that before Ling Greed lazily raises his hand, while shouting: ,,Lan Fan! Where are you? We need you!" ,,I'm standing right next to you, idiot", retorts Lan Fan dryly. ,,Uh good. Seven, please!" ,,We're five", interposes Lust dryly. ,,I know, sis", answers Ling Greed relaxedly.

Only now he, his sister, Kimblee, Edward and Envy notice that they are the only remaining guests. Especially, Ed is surprised at that moment: ,,Where on earth is everyone? It's Friday!" ,,I know. But I told everyone that we're going to close earlier tonight", answers Lan Fan nonchalantly. Once again, Ling Greed rises to speak: ,,Okay, I only have one question – why?"

,,I'm too lazy to serve random people for six more hours", answers the new waitress before leaving them in order to mix the drinks. ,,Americans and their work ethics", remarks Ling Greed sarcastically after having scrutinised Lan Fan's bottom. ,,Shut up, _Ling_!", shouts Lan Fan from the storage room, causing the five of them to chuckle.

Afterwards, Ling Greed rises to speak again: ,,Long time, no see, mates." ,,Indeed", answers Kimblee with a pensive look that sort of seems out of character. ,,Almost two _D._ -free weeks. That felt good as hell", interposes Lust. ,,Too bad that there's still a killer out there who's probably going to take us out next", retorts Kimblee sarcastically.

,,A person who happens to be your father's killer at the same time", adds Ling Greed nonchalantly. ,,But why kill Frank then?", asks Solaris Lust with a confused look. ,,Well... If you ask me, the only plausible explanation is that he must have known _something_ ", interposes Edward with a pensive look.

All of a sudden, Kimblee realises: ,,And I have an idea what that _something_ might be!" The others answer with puzzled looks. ,,When Archer came over, he gave me a box. Somehow, I've forgotten about it." ,,Where is that box?", asks Edward impatiently. ,,In 2a", answers Kimblee while dialing Rose's number. ,,No one picks up, good. I'll be back in half an hour", announces Solf and gets up.

,,Wow, wait! There's no way you'll go there all by yourself!", clarifies Lust. ,,She's right. The killer is probably already waiting for you outside. Thus, all of you should go", interposes Ling Greed. ,,And what about you?", asks Lust with a raised brow. ,,Hey, someone should stay here with Lan Fan", answers her older brother with a naughty smirk.

,,I can do that, as well", interposes Edward with a sceptical look. ,,What, huh? Don't you trust me after all we've been through?", asks Ling Greed with a conspiratorial smirk this time. ,,Lust, Envy, go with Kimblee and I'll stay here with Greed and Lan Fan!", decides Edward. ,,Who died and made you the boss?", asks Lan Fan who has just come out of nowhere.

However, Ed just ignores her and addresses himself to Lust, Kimblee and Envy instead: ,,Be quick. I'm already running out of patience." ,, _Quelle surprise_ ", chuckles Lust. ,,Come, let's leave the two love birds and the boner-blocker among themselves", chuckles Kimblee. However, Ling Greed could swear that this chuckle is not real...

OOO

,,How is Winry?", asks Greed almost twenty minutes of deafening silence later. ,,Why don't you ask her?", asks Ed with an annoyed look. ,,Because I don't know whether I'm allowed to. Seriously, you and your brother are just so German. I mean, you're always trying to _occupy_ all the girls without even considering the possibility that you're not the only ones who might be interested."

,,What are you talking about? Lan Fan, what is this bastard talking about?", asks Ed, still with an irritated look. ,,For fuck's sake, just keep me out of your stupid cock-measuring contest, please", retorts Lan Fan sarcastically. ,,Hey, there is no such thing, okay? So just for the records! You can hit on whoever you want, _mate_!" ,,If so, why are you being such a bitch?", asks Greed with composure.

,,Because you, your brothers and... My brother are assholes!", grunts Edward. ,,So true", interposes Lan Fan dryly. ,,Well, you're right. Buy hey, leastwise I've never cheated on one of my girlfriends", retorts Ling Greed. ,,Check and mate", interposes Lan Fan this time. ,,So what? Just because I made mistakes, too, I'm not allowed to judge murderers anymore?", asks Ed with a frustrated look.

,, _Let him who is without sin cast the first stone_!", quotes Ling Greed with a teasing smirk. ,, _Thou shalt not kill_!", quotes Edward this time. Silence. But then: ,, _Only God can judge me_." ,,What?", asks Ed with a confused look. ,,That's a song by Tupac", whispers Lan Fan. ,,Pah. So much for _West Coast_ ", remarks Greed with a teasing smirk. ,, _Fuck you_! That's a song by Lily Allen!", retorts Ed.

,,Who?", asks Greed. ,, _So much for British_ ", retorts Ed this time. Silence. Once again, Ling Greed quotes a song title by Tupac: ,, _I ain't mad at cha_!" Lan Fan raises an eyebrow. ,,Okay, first that bitch fight that's been clearly inspired by an episode of _America's Next Topmodel_ , then that religious _quote-battle_ you know from Bible camps and now you two are re-enacting a scene from _8 Mile_?"

After a short silent period, Ling Greed rises to speak again: ,,Lan Fan is right. What we're doing is ridiculous and frankly, I don't even know _what_ exactly we're doing, let alone _why_." ,,Uh, I can tell you why, boys. Both of you are assholes but Ed is the only one who's willing to admit that he made mistakes. Uh, and you two had sex under a shower", interposes Lan Fan sarcastically.

Ed cannot believe his ears: ,,You freakin' told her about that?" And all of a sudden, Lan Fan raises her voice, as well: ,,Damn right, asshole! _He_ told me about it! Not you, the guy I've been trying to make out with all the time!" ,,What are you talking about? You just tried it once! And I didn't refuse you or something! We both decided that that'd be for the best!", hisses Ed.

,,No, you decided that! You said something about a similar experience. Were you talking about Ling? And were you acutally comparing our situation to that other bullshit? Because guess what – I'm not him! You could have had at least a little trust in our friendship!" ,,Friendship? Pah! The only thing you want is to satisfy your girl boner! From that point of view, you are exactly like him!"

Suddenly, even Ling Greed has a say: ,,Hey, stop playing the bloody victim, okay? Back then, you've been the one who screwed things up!" ,,Excuse me?", hisses Ed. ,,Damn right, Ed! I kept my mouth shut because I thought that you were done with me, anyhow. But now that I realise that you're actually blaming me, I have to remind you that _you_ turned your back on _me_ , not vice versa!"

,,What are you talking about?", asks Ed with a furious look. ,,About you and your _brother_! You know? The one who set you against me! And instead of trusting me you chose to trust a person you've even considered to be a racist, a playboy _and_ a psycho back then!" ,,Hey, you both are playboys and psychos!", snarls Ed. ,,Says the boy who cheated on his girlfriend", chuckles Greed.

,,I know! But the difference is that I didn't commit all those crimes just because they didn't show a good movie in the TV those nights!", retorts Ed. ,,Hell, no one ever said that we were proud of what we'd done!" ,,Still! Regret looks different!" ,,Okay, why don't we just shorten up this nonsense? Just tell me what your problem is!", hisses Greed in an uncharacteristically aggressive tone.

Before anyone has the chance to answer, Ling Greed rises to speak again: ,,Do you expect me to build a time machine? Or do you want me to stay away from you? For once in your fucking life, just tell me what's going on in your messed up mind! Because guess what – I'm no bloody psychic!" Lan Fan and Ed are speechless: For the first time, Ling Greed Bradley has actually shown feelings.

Discreetly and quietly, Lan Fan leaves the room to give them some privacy. Deafening silence. Only after a while, Edward finally answers: ,,I want the truth...!" Once again, deafening silence. But then: ,,Fine, I'm an open book. Ask me whatever you want." ,,Okay. Do you remember that conversation we had in your car?" ,,As if it was yesterday."

,,Great. So, have you told me any lies that day? Or were you telling nothing but the truth? Or forget about that one conversation! Have you ever lied to me? Now before you answer my questions, just listen to my words! _One_ lie and I will _never_ forgive you! I mean it, Greed! So better be honest because this is your _last_ damn chance!"

Just when Greed is about to answer, Lust, Envy and Kimblee suddenly enter the bar. When she hears the little bell above the door ringing, Lan Fan hesitatingly exits the storage room, asking: ,,Did you find it?" ,, _Catch_!", commands Lust with a triumphant smirk, before throwing a box in Lan Fan's direction. Lan Fan manages to catch it just in time.

OOO

A few minutes later they find out that the box, Archer has given them, is full of research material. Notes, pictures, letters, cards, lists, documents and even a dictation machine. ,,Is that a...?", asks Lust with a confused look. The others nod. However, nobody except for Lan Fan dares to press the _play_ -button. Deafening silence.

But then: _,,Sixteenth of January 2007. This is Van Hohenheim speaking."_ All six of them startle in unison. _,,Don't get me wrong, brother. But I'm not that interested in small talk. Just tell me where my son is." ,,Which one? For all I know, you have at least three." ,,You know which one! The one, you kidnapped back then!" ,,Why do you think that I would kidnap my own nephew?"_

,,Father Hohenheim...!", whispers Lust with a shocked mien. _,,Because I found out that Gold-Tooth has been working at that hospital in San Francisco when Trisha gave birth to him! And speaking of that – how is it even possible that you had known about her pregnancy?",,Well. To be honest, I followed you that night." ,,What the hell?" ,,Shame on you, brother. This is a house of God."_

 _,,Hey, don't change the subject!" ,,Fine. The truth is that I wasn't quite happy with your spontaneous trip to America which is why I decided to keep an eye on you back then. I saw you visiting all the places from our past. Including our former house... That house that had been occupied by that woman, you fell in love with." ,,That's how she and I met..."_

 _,,Very romantic, brother mine. Anyway. The moment, I saw you two dancing in that bar we'd used to go as young teenagers, I knew what was going to happen. But when you decided to give Dante a second chance, I forgot Trisha. Until...",,Until when, huh?"_

 _,,Until Dante found that photograph of you and your brunette. She thought that you were having an affair with her which is why I flew to San Francisco to get rid of that problem. However, it turned out that there have been two problems to get rid of." ,,You seriously planned on killing her? You goddamned bastard!"_

 _,,Killing her? Please. Of course, I planned on kidnapping her... But it's not that simple to kidnap a grown-up woman. Besides, I had a better idea. After having kidnapped your son, I can now force both of you to join the sect. But if I had kidnapped your lover instead, you would be the only new member. Hence, I can kill two birds with one stone."_

 _,,Just so you know! None of us will join your sect! Ever!" ,,Well, that's too bad. And I thought you came here to get your son back." ,,Oh, I will get him back as soon as the police will hear this! Trust me!"_ Deafening silence.

But then, Edward, Kimblee, Lust, Envy, Greed and Lan Fan suddenly here a loud smack which is why they startle once again. ,,Did your father just...?", asks Lan Fan with a confused mien. The others answer with thoroughly distraught looks.

However, when they suddenly hear a female voice next, they instantly strain their ears: _,,Oh my...! I'm sorry, Sir! I didn't know that Father Hohenheim had a twin...!"_ The three Bradleys cannot believe their own ears. ,,Mother...!", whispers Lust with a shocked look. Once again silence.

,,Wait, that's it?", asks Edward impatiently. ,,I don't think so. He probably just forgot that he's been still recording everything. One can still hear voices in the distance", answers Kimblee. ,,Let's hope that they'll become clearer!", whispers Lust with shaking hands. ,,What about that date?", asks Lan Fan all of a sudden. ,,Is that the day, he...?", she adds cautiously. Ed nods mutely.

Almost ten minutes later, they suddenly can hear voices again. _,,Sir! Please! If you talk to the police, they are going to take four of my children from us! I couldn't live without them! King, Juliet and those four mean everything to me!" ,,I understand that! I really do! But what if their other parents are still out there? Do you have any idea what it's been like when we lost our son?"_

 _,,You see? That's exactly the point! I don't want to know what it'd be like to lose my son Ling, or my son Ivan, or my son Selim or one of my wonderful daughters! I tell you something! Let me help you to find your son! And let me help you to find that other woman's child!" ,,But, Miss! The police -!" ,,Don't you get it? The police isn't trustworthy at all! Many of those people are members, too!"_

 _,,What...?" ,,I swear, Mr Hohenheim! Forget those idiots! And let me help you instead! I've written down everything I know about the sect! That might sound a little ridiculous but I have a diary! You can read it if you like! Perhaps, there are things that I've failed to notice!" ,,Are you sure that you want me to read -?" ,,Of course! Read it, eat it, do whatever you want but please! No police!"_

 _,,Okay, let's say you and I will indeed be able to find my son and my friends' child..." ,,Yes...?" ,,What about all those other children then...? God knows how many mother's have been told in the hospital that their children died while they actually have been kidnapped by my brother's men..." ,,I see... But just so you know! I won't give up on them that easily!" ,,Miss -!"_

 _,,I will do anything to keep them! If necessary, I'll take them and leave the country! The continent! Hell, even the bloody planet! They are mine! No one else but me knows what they eat for breakfast! And no one else but me knows which lullabies one has to sing when one of them starts from his or her sleep! Besides, they have been given to me as half-orphans! I didn't steal them deliberately!"_

 _,,But -!" ,,No, stop! Who are you to take them from me?" ,,Miss, please! I'm very sure that no one is going to take them from you! Chances are that their biological parents will allow you to stay in contact with them and -!" ,,I'm warning you! Don't come any closer because otherwise!" ,,Quinn, please! I -!" WHOOMPH._

One more time, Edward, Kimblee, Ling Greed, Ivan Envy, Solaris Lust and Lan Fan startle. The two girls even give a shriek. _,,Hohenheim...? Oh my God...! What have I done...? Hohenheim...!"_ All they can hear during the following seconds is Quinn's nervous stuttering.

But then, all of a sudden: _,,Thank God! You have to come here as soon as possible! I think, I just killed someone! I didn't mean to but he wanted to take our children from us! King is out of town and -!"_ And just like that the dictation machine pops open which causes them to flinch in unison. Deafening silence.

Only after a while, Kimblee rises to speak: ,,Guys. Stop looking like you've seen a ghost because Quinn Bradley is innocent." Nobody answers. ,,Hey, when Archer has been murdered days ago, your mother has been dead already, remember?", adds Kimblee.

,,We got it, okay? Shut up!", hisses Lust with wet eyes and shaking hands. ,,He's right, your mother didn't kill our father. But I'm sure as hell that the person she was talking to on the phone did it", interposes Edward with a mien that is partly pensive and partly distraught. ,,And whoever that person on the phone was, it wasn't your father", he adds.

Ling Greed is beyond confused: ,,Then who was it? I mean, it's not like she's been in a book club or something." Hesitatingly, Kimblee rises to speak again: ,,I hate to say this but to me that sounds as if she was having an affair..." ,,Hey, I'm warning you!", hisses Ling Greed with a killing look. Kimblee does not answer.

Suddenly, Lust, who has calmed down a little, comes up with an idea: ,,What about that diary, she mentioned?" ,,If you ask me, she just made that one up in a moment of desperation", answers Envy. ,,And let's say she didn't – there's still no way we're going to find it", adds Greed. ,,Hey! Why are you two so silent all of a sudden?", asks Lan Fan who is addressing herself to Kimblee and Ed.

,,Well. There's one thing that's giving me food for thought", answers Edward with a pensive look. ,,Same", interposes Kimblee in a nutshell. ,,Then say it, already!", hisses Envy with crossed arms. ,,Quinn said ' _our children_ '!", begins Ed. ,,But she didn't talk to your father which is why the use of the possessive pronoun ' _our_ ' doesn't make sense", continues Kimblee.

,,Unless, she was talking to someone whose child had also been stolen from a hospital!", finishes Edward before Lan Fan rises to speak this time: ,,Wow. Not only do they share the same DNA, but also the same thoughts." ,,Indeed", answer Greed, Envy and Lust in unison. ,,Nonsense!", retort Kimblee and Edward in unison this time.

,,Whatever, okay? Come on, guys! Focus!", grunts Edward. ,,What about your parents, Kimblee?", asks Lan Fan. Kimblee shakes his head. ,,That's quite impossible. They just accommodated me for money. And my _father_ even left us which he wouldn't have done if he'd wanted to keep me." The others sigh with disappointed and annoyed looks.

,,Wait a sec...!", murmurs Ed who has just quickly looked over the pictures in the box. ,,What is it?", asks Lust with a curious look. ,,Look at this picture!", commands Ed and hands it over to them. ,,That's just some random house!", remarks Lust. ,,Right but that's not the point!", grunts Ed. And like most of the time, Solf is the only one who solves the riddle: ,,It has been taken two years ago!"

,,Fine, whatever", answers Greed in an indifferent tone and shrugs. ,,Hey, don't you get it? These aren't just Van Hohenheim's researches! These are probably _D.'s_! Or maybe Archer's, which would be even better since he's been the one who'd killed _Gold-Tooth_ , the kidnapper!", stammers Ed in excitement. ,,Come on, guys! It's time for a reading session!", he then announces euphorically.

While Kimblee is already reading like a model pupil, Ling Greed, Solaris Lust, Ivan Envy and Lan Fan are just staring at them, their eyes and mouths wide open. ,, _Elfreaks_ ", remarks Lan Fan dryly. ,,Shut up and start reading, already!", hisses Edward who's addressing himself to her and the three Bradleys.

OOO

,,Yes!", announces Ling Greed after almost forty minutes of searching. ,,What is it?", asks Lust excitedly. ,,A list of all kids that have been kidnapped by _Gold-Tooth_. Ivan, Selim, Porter... _Theophrastus_? Who the hell would name his kid -?" ,,Van Hohenheim", interrupts Kimblee with a dry look. Greed, Lust, Envy and Lan Fan start chuckling mockingly.

Edward, on the other hand, is not in the mood: ,,Come on, Greed! The other names!" Greed rolls his eyes. Yet, he obeys: ,,Okay, okay. Anna and... Aoya...!" ,,Who's that?", asks Lan Fan with a confused look. ,,Archer's younger brother...", answers Lust with a rather shocked look. ,,Okay, guys, that's nonsense! Why, on earth, would they kill their own son?", argues Lan Fan.

,,Besides, their parents are dead, remember?", adds Envy. ,,Fuck...!", whispers Ling Greed who has just solved the riddle. ,,What happened, Greed...?", asks Ed with a worried look. ,,Give me one sec! I'll be right back!", announces Ling Greed, grabs the list and exits the bar. ,,What the hell is happening here?", asks Ed with a confused look. Nobody answers.

However, when they suddenly here the sound of a car, Envy realises: ,,That bastard is moving off!" ,,Let's go!", decides Lust, grabs her keys and hastens away. Edward and Envy follow her, whereas Kimblee announces: ,,Go, I'll catch up with you later!" Solaris, Edward and Envy nod quickly and then leave.

OOO

,,Do you need a hand?", asks Solf when Lan Fan starts cleaning the tables after some awkward minutes of silence and motionlessness. ,,Better not. It's bad enough that you've already stolen one job from me", retorts Lan Fan sarcastically. ,,That wasn't my intention, I swear", chuckles Kimblee. ,,I know. Your only intention is to avoid the encounter with your father's killer."

Solf does not know what to answer. But after several silent minutes, he suddenly confesses: ,,Yes. Biological or not – messing with a mother is a very foolish thing to do." ,,So that's what you're thinking? That Quinn talked to another _mother_ on the phone?" Kimblee does not answer verbally. Instead, he just nods silently...

OOO

Approximately twenty-five minutes later, Ling Greed knocks on a familiar door. ,,What the hell are you doing, Greed?", asks Edward furiously, after he has just gotten out of the car, followed by Lust and Envy. But Greed just ignores him as well as his staring siblings and starts knocking louder and heavier on the door. ,,For God's sake", mutters Envy with rolling eyes.

A few seconds later, the door finally gets opened from inside. ,,You...?", asks Maes Hughes, who looks like they have roused him from sleep. ,,We need to talk!", announces Ling Greed in a tone that couldn't be more serious. And all of a sudden, Maes is fully awake: ,,Did something happen to Elicia? Or Winry? Or anybody else?" No one answers.

OOO

A few minutes later, they are sitting in Maes' kitchen. Elicia is staying over at Nina's place. ,,We know that she called you back then", begins Ling Greed. ,,But that's impossible. Because she didn't call me, she called... Gracia...", answers Maes quietly. His hands are shaking. ,,I guess, Quinn begged her to come and rescue Mr Hohenheim... She's been a nurse, after all..."

,,Wait a minute – you _guess_?", asks Lust with a confused look. ,,Well... Back then, none of them told me anything about that incident. You see? Elicia and Selim were born on the same day. Originally, Quinn wanted both children but when she found out about Gracia's infertility, she offered us to accommodate one of them..."

,,Did you know about the sect?", asks Ling Greed straightforward. ,,No. And neither did Gracia... We've been told that Selim and Elicia were both parentless... We thought that we were giving a home to an orphan... Of course, we knew that we broke the law by accommodating her inoffcialy but... A few days ago, Elicia went to visit Winry. I told her that I'd meet her there..."

Maes pauses. ,,Elicia is a very curious young girl... Which is why she decided to eavesdrop when she saw Frank Archer entering Solf J. Kimblee's flat that day... He was Aoya's brother after all... And Elicia has a crush on that young boy... Anyway... She stood there and listened to their conversation... That way, she happened to find out who Dante's ally was..." Maes gulps.

,,When I arrived, they've been in the middle of an argument... He threatened her, said that he'd tell the police about her parents' deed in case she should tell anyone about his partnership with Dante... I interfered, asked Elicia to go upstairs so he and I could talk in private... Once again, he brought up the Hohenheim-incident... When I told him that I had no idea what he was talking about..."

Once again, Maes pauses. ,,He said something about a recorded conversation between Van Hohenheim and a list, with six names on it that -" ,,We know about that conversation and the list", interrupts Envy sharply. Maes nods hysterically before continuing: ,,Well... According to those, there were only six potential killers. Your parents, his parents as well as Gracia and I..."

,,But our father had an alibi", interposes Greed. ,,Right... And so did his own parents... To cut a long story short – that boy owned everything necessary to put me behind bars or to let the police take my daughter from me... Thus, I only had two options... Talking to the police about Frank's deeds and losing Elicia, was one of them. Keeping my daughter and my mouth shut was the other one..."

,,Hey, what about the third option?", asks Ling Greed nonchalantly. ,,I mean, you are familiar with crime novels, after all", he adds relaxedly. ,,No, Ling Greed! Killing someone has never been an option for me!", clarifies Maes. ,,How come that Frank Archer is pushing up the daisies then?", asks Greed, still with composure.

But when Maes suddenly starts sobbing, Greed instantly regrets his words: ,,I'm sorry...!" ,,When Gracia came home that day, she cried... I'd never seen her crying like that before... She told me that she had to rescue a man and that she failed... I don't remember the exact date but that must have been the same day because that was the only moment I've seen her like that... Ever..."

Maes gulps: ,,It happened in January 2007... Back then, Elicia was only three years old... Yet, she understood that something was wrong... She asked whether her mother was going to die... And only a few days ago, she told me that she still remembers that moment as if it were yesterday... And she also said that this particular memory had triggered her impulsive reaction on the stairs..."

Ed gulps, before hesitatingly asking: ,,Mr. Hughes...! Are you saying that Elicia...?" ,,It was an accident...! She just pushed him on an impulse and Frank fell downstairs...!" Ed and the three Bradleys are beyond puzzled. Seeing Maes, a person they like a lot, in such a state, is so unbearable that they all open their mouthes in order to soothe him. However, they are just speechless for now...

OOO

It is five in the morning when Edward and the three Bradleys enter the _Devil's Nest_ again. While Lan Fan is sleeping on the couch, Kimblee is reading a book. ,,I'm all ears", he announces relaxedly. ,,Our mother accidentally killed Van Hohenheim and called Gracia Hughes who failed to rescue him which is why they must have decided to keep it a secret...", begins Ling Greed.

Kimblee nods slowly. ,,If so, I guess Anna is Elicia?" ,,Yes. And the reason why it took us so long to come back is that we tried to comfort Hughes", continues Solaris Lust with a sad look. ,,For being the former husband and adoptive father of murderers", adds Ling Greed who is sounding way too sarcastic, even though it hasn't been his intention.

,,Elicia killed Archer...?", asks Kimblee with a surprised look. ,,Yes, but that was an accident. Which is why they unsuccessfully tried to make it look like suicide", answers Lust with an exhausted mien. ,,Nice. Now what?", asks Solf with composure.

Once again, Ling Greed rises to speak: ,,Well. He told us about Elicia's deed and we told him about Selim's in return. And we all agreed on collective _secret-keeping_. However, there are those two persons who are authorised to change the rules." ,,Trisha and Alphonse", guesses Kimblee nonchalantly. ,,Precisely", answers Ling Greed relaxedly. Silence.

But then, Kimblee suddenly addresses himself to Edward: ,,How are _you_ feeling?" Edward answers with a surprised look. ,,I don't know...", he then murmurs. ,,Honest answer...! Are you mad at our mother or at Gracia...?", asks Lust hesitatingly. ,,Why would I be mad at Gracia? She tried to rescue my dad!" ,,Okay but what about our mother then?", asks Lust again.

Ed does not answer at first. But then: ,,Not the slightest bit...! And to be honest, that sucks...! Seriously, nothing sucks more than that...!" ,,What do you mean...?", asks Lust cautiously. ,,I don't know... But after all that shit that's happened, I was hoping that I'd at least get the chance to beat the living daylights out of _someone_! I can handle anger! I always could! But this _nothingness_ , no...!"

Ed sighs before continuing: ,,And then there is my mother... I know her... She would never go to the police and do you know why?" ,,Why?", ask the others in unison. ,,Because she's a damn mother! Just like Quinn, Gracia and...!" ,,And?", ask the others this time. ,,Winry", answers Kimblee as if he could read his brother's mind. ,,Damn right, bastard!", hisses Ed.

,,I'm sorry. I really am. But the sad truth is that I just do _not_ want that child. And she would have known that if she'd asked my opinion." ,,She was scared and sad!", argues Edward. ,,Is that so? Because the Winry Rockbell I know is not some scared, insecure, sad girl! She's rather a fearless and independant young woman who takes decisions by _herself_!", answers Kimblee with composure.

,,You're unbelievable!", hisses Ed. Less relaxedly this time, Kimblee rises to speak again: ,,And you are self-righteous! Look, I know that you're always trying to do what's right because unlike the rest of us, you actually are a genuinely good person. Too good for us, I'd even claim. But do you know what your problem is?" ,,Shoot!", hisses Ed with gritted teeth.

,,You are ashamed of your own dark side. But guess what – nobody is perfect, not even you." ,,When did I ever claim that, huh?" ,,It's not about _claiming_ it. It's rather about _aiming_ at it. And to be honest, I don't get it. I mean, when you first came here you were a completely different person. You were vivacious, idealistic, self-confident. Soft-hearted, yes, but still a hothead."

Since nobody intervenes, Solf just goes on: ,,Hell, you even stood up against Envy and me, the two persons most of the people in this town are afraid of! Moreover, you were so eager to protect Winry that you even kept your distance so you can not only protect her from others, but also from your own dark side. Because not only have you been aware of it back then, but you've also accepted it."

,,ENOUGH!", shouts Ed so loud that Lan Fan suddenly starts from her sleep. ,,Fuck you, Kimblee! I swear to God, just fuck you! And not only you! You and you, too! You can all fuck yourselves!You're egoistic and unappreciative as fuck!", hisses Ed.

The others are speechless which is why he just continues: ,,I hate how you two pretend to be _mates_ while fucking the same girls and telling me some asshole-stories about one another! I also hate how you constantly bite the hands that are feeding you! Like my mother's! Or Scar's! Or Olivier's! I mean, I get it, Catherine can be a bitch from time to time but she's still Olivier's sister, damnit!"

Before Solf and Greed have the chance to respond, Ed rises to speak again: ,,Hey, Lan Fan! Do you still wanna know with whom I cheated on Winry?" Envy widens his eyes when he realises that he is going to be busted in a few seconds. ,,Perhaps, you might also be interested in the whole story!", continues Ed before suddenly taking off his hoody to reveal all the bruises and scars on his back.

The others answer with shocked looks whereas Envy just discreetly clenches his fingers. ,,And that is how it happened! The first time, that person held a knife to my throat. But hey, at least I haven't been in a relationship! However, the second time, that person attacked me from behind, handcuffed me, dragged me along my bathroom floor, whipped me, slapped me and fucked the shit out of me!"

Deafening silence. But then: ,,And you know what else? I enjoyed every damn second of it! I mean, don't get me wrong, I'd also like to bang Lan Fan some day but if I had to choose between a pussy-fuck and a hard butt-fuck, I'd definitely go for the latter! Did you hear that? Damn right, I'm talking to you! _Envy_!" And just like that, Ed slaps Envy across the backside and stomps out of the bar.

Everyone is restlessly speechless. Especially Envy, whose world is falling apart at that very moment. The others could swear that his eyes are getting wet which is why nobody, not even Ling Greed, dares to speak to him. Meanwhile, the radio is playing Lana Del Rey's _Sad Girl_...

 **Well, well, well: Time to (1.) thank you once more for your reviews and brilliant theories and to (2.) answer some of your questions.**

 **Deaths:** So Van Hohenheim's death has been sort of an accident caused by Quinn Bradley (†), Gracia Hughes' death has been an accident caused by Dante (†) and Frank Archer's death has been an accident caused by Elicia Hughes. Gluttony's death has been more or less intended by a very wrathful Pride, Dante's death has been more or less intended by a very wrathful Rose and all those other homicides – like Quinn Bradley's, Father Hohenheim's and those of the members of the sect – have either been intentionally committed by Dante or by Archer. But that's it, there will be no other murders or crimes in the remaining fifteen chapters of this fanfiction, except for one (unsuccessful) suicide attempt, promise! Plus: The police is never going to find out who killed Van Hohenheim, Frank Archer and Maria Ross, so don't worry about prison terms and stuff (;

 **Pairing:** The only pairing you can take for granted at this point, is Mayphonse. But I can also promise you that Edward's _relationships_ with Lust, Greed and Winry won't make any _comebacks_. Sloth's lover will be revealed in chapter 31 or chapter 32.

 **Character:** You've probably guessed it already but the last new character that has been introduced in this chapter is Wrath from the 2003-version of FMA.

 **What I'd also love to know now is what you think about the revelation. Was it a surprise for you or had you already guessed it before? Were you happy with it or rather disappointed? Is everything clear or do you still have questions? Just tell me what you think/ask me anything (:**

 **For the rest: Next chapter will be named after Lana's song** ** _Dark Paradise_**

 **Kisses, PinkChocolateGlitter (;**


	31. Dark Paradise

**Disclaimer: I don't own the mentioned brand names, the song titles and I also don't own Fullmetal Alchemist (c'est dommage...)!**

 **Information:**

Before we move to the real story, I want to explain a few things ahead, that don't need to be necessarily read but I personally feel like they could be sort of important to the readers.

Let's take a look at the following paragraph I've already posted ahead of the first chapter:

 _ **,,The story is rated M for a reason. Not only will the language contribute to that but also the plot. Hence it'll deal with grief, teenage problems such as sexual orientation, family issues, (dark) family secrets, incest between half-brother and half-sister, a teacher-student-affair, a teenage pregnancy,**_ _attempted suicide,_ _ **intrigues, lovesickness, bullying (downplayed) and sex (not too explicit, of course xD).**_ _ **But in addition to those rather serious topics, there will also be easygoing ones: Wedding stuff, theme parties, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, birthdays,**_ _Valentine's Day, lots of pink love_ _ **and strong friendships, tons of allusions to the happenings in Fullmetal Alchemist (mainly Brotherhood) and so on.**_ _ **The genre will be a mixture of comedic, dramatic, mysterious, erotic and romantic aspects."**_

As you can see, the only three missing aspects from that list are _attempted suicide_ as well as _Valentine's Day_ and _lots of pink love_. The first point will be of importance in this chapter whereas the other two aspects will be coming into play in the later chapters.

Content: Attempted suicide, some lemons and one drug trip. Also, you are going to learn more about that house from Brotherhood that has been mentioned in this fanfiction when Lust and Roy have first started their affair.

Character: _Special Guest Star_ Focker.

Allusion: I'm sure you won't miss the allusions (;

Everything is said for now, so let's move to the story!

 **Torpedo**

 **\- Chapter 31: Dark Paradise -**

,,I found him!", announces Lan Fan who is talking to Lust on the phone. It is the day after Frank Archer's funeral and right now, she is standing infront of a hotel room door in the _Rush Valley Inn**_. ,,Thank God! Tell him that I'm going to kill him!", hisses Lust and hangs up.

Lan Fan sighs. Then she aggressively knocks on the door. _,,Who's there?"_ , asks a female voice from inside. A quite familiar voice. ,,Rroom serrvice!", announces Lan Fan while imitating a Russian accent. Treacherous silence.

But then, Catherine opens the door. ,,Lan Fan...?" ,,Yeah, hi", answers Lan Fan half-heartedly before entering the hotel room even though she has not been asked in. ,,Finally!", she mutters when she sees Envy, who is wearing nothing but his boxers, lying on the bed.

,,What are you doing here? Nobody invited you!", snarls Envy and stretches his body. ,,Lust and I were looking for you, idiot", answers Lan Fan with composure. ,,How was the wedding, by the way?", she then asks in Catherine's direction. ,,It totally rocked!", answers Cat with a cheeky smirk. ,,Cool", remarks Lan Fan before she jumps onto the bed, all of a sudden.

,,What the bloody hell? That's not _Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon_ , bitch!", hisses Envy, who is both confused and annoyed. However, Lan Fan just ignores him and starts rummaging around in the bedside table until she finally finds what she has been looking for: Envy's pills. ,,See? I knew it", chuckles Lan Fan triumphantly.

,,Oh my God...!", whispers Catherine with a shocked look. ,,Hey, shut up, okay? Both of you! That doesn't mean anything!", hisses Envy with a killing look. ,,Okay, fine", mutters Lan Fan, before suddenly taking off her belt. ,,But don't be such a pussy! Do it properly!", she chuckles and throws her belt onto the bed, right next to him.

Envy does not react at first. But then, he slowly grabs her belt and starts winding it around his neck. ,,Okay, what the hell is happening here?", asks Catherine with a bemused mien. ,,Sorry, my bad, I thought that'd be obvious. Envy is committing suicide", retorts Lan Fan relaxedly. Catherine answers with a shocked look. Right now, she is just speechless.

,,Because he is bisexual, by the way", adds Lan Fan, still relaxedly. Only now does Catherine ask: ,,Is that true, Envy...?" Envy just nods half-heartedly since he is too busy with the belt at the moment. ,,Oh my God! That's so hot!", remarks Catherine with an admiring look. Envy abruptly drops the belt in his hand and raises an eyebrow. And so does Lan Fan.

,,Besides, that explains a lot. You know? Envy prefers my back entrance!", whispers Catherine with a naughty smirk. ,,Okay, now I'm officially ready to kill myself", announces Envy dryly. ,,Why? Just because they're going to kick you out of the lacrosse team?", asks Lan Fan sarcastically. ,,For fuck's sake, stop asking such stupid questions. Nobody at school is of any importance, okay?"

,,If so, what's the deal?", asks Lan Fan with composure. ,,Bradley Senior", whispers Catherine into her ear. ,,Hey, I'm not dead yet which means I still can hear you!", hisses Envy. ,,Sorry, Envy...!", pouts Cat. ,,Besides, I don't care about that old bourgeois! What's bothering me is that Edward Elric humiliated me infront of those prats!"

,,Edward Elric?", asks Catherine with a confused look. ,,Yeah. He outed him last night while Greed, Kimblee, Lust and I have been standing right next to him", answers Lan Fan before addressing herself to Envy again: ,,Come on! If any, he's been humiliating both of you! I mean, he has literally offered you a butt-fuck, remember?"

,,No way...!", murmurs Catherine with a shocked look. ,,Amen to that, Princess. I mean, I felt like I was witnessing a verbal rape." ,,Don't listen to her. She's American", interposes Envy with a disdainful mien. However, Lan Fan just ignores him and continues: ,,I swear, when Ed stomped out of the bar I noticed that I'd gotten wet."

,,Interesting. And by whom did you want to get banged at that very moment? By Envy or by Edward?", asks Cat curiously. ,,To be honest, by both of them. At the same time", answers Lan Fan nonchalantly. ,,Okay, that's definitely a new level of sexual assault", remarks Envy sarcastically. ,,Hey, you're free to leave our planet whenever you want", retorts Lan Fan, also sarcastically.

,,Well... Speaking of which...", begins Envy before suddenly reaching for something under the bed that turns out to be a gun. Catherine answers with an earpiercing screech. ,,Holy fuck, where did you get that shit from?", asks Lan Fan, who is briefly forgetting to keep her cool. ,,That's one of the guns from New Year's Eve", reveals Envy with a mocking smirk.

All of a sudden, somebody knocks on the door. Without averting her eyes from the gun in Envy's hand, Lan Fan opens the door. ,,Good timing", she remarks dryly when she sees Lust. Just when Lust is about to ask further questions she suddenly spots the gun in her younger brother's hand.

,,Envy, don't you dare!", she hisses. ,,Uh, uh! Don't come any closer!", he commands with a mischievous smirk. ,,Oh my God, he's serious...!", realises Cat with a shocked look. ,,Of course, he is! That's not the first time, he's planning on doing this, you foolish girl!", snaps Lust at her.

,,Hey, Envy! Why have you tried to do it the last time, huh? Were you trying to get attention or something?", asks Lan Fan, less unemotionally this time. ,,That's actually a very good question. Perhaps, you know my brother Ling Greed -" ,,Envy, don't...!", intervenes Lust, who is sounding uncharacteristically soft.

,,Why not? We're among us, aren't we? I mean, frankly, I don't even know Lan Fan's last name but who cares, right?" ,,Sure. Just an irrelevant detail", retorts Lan Fan dryly. ,,Besides, the fact that I haven't killed you yet despite your freakishness is a good sign, I guess", continues Envy nonchalantly. ,,Yeah, definitely", agrees Lan Fan sarcastically.

,,Guys, please!", sighs Lust with an exhausted mien. ,,ON MY FIFTEENTH BIRTHDAY...!", exclaims Envy in order to get everyone's attention. With success. ,,Ling Greed decided to make me a very special gift. Because, let's be honest, our relationship hasn't been the best one. When we were younger, I used to provoke him a lot and vice versa. However, when I was fourteen he started to..."

Envy pauses theatrically. ,, _Punish_ me!" Catherine and Lan Fan answer with puzzled looks whereas Lust just sighs to demonstrate her irritation. ,,Whenever I've been a naughty boy, I got whipped. However, on my fifteenth birthday, he decided to _indulge_ me for the first time. So he made me a gift." Lan Fan discreetly gulps whereas Catherine is secretly excited by that bizarre anecdote.

,,Guess what it was! Right! Cream! Spread all over his _banana_!", reveals Envy and chuckles maniacally. ,,But that's not even the best part of the story yet! Because after I – well-behaved as I am – had licked the cream off, I got another present! You guessed it! More cream!" While reeling the gun in his hand, Envy adds: ,,And you know what? These were the best birthday gifts _ever_!"

Once again, Lan Fan discreetly gulps. ,,If so, why have you tried to kill yourself that day?", she then asks in an insincerely relaxed tone. ,,Because, Lan Fan _Last Name_ , I've actually enjoyed sucking my half-brother's chopper! _Ergo_ – I felt like a perverse psychopath! But leastwise, I owned those belts that looked very nice around my neck!" ,,Hell no", mutters Lan Fan with a distraught mien.

,,Are you satisfied now?", hisses Lust into her ear. ,,No, more like traumatized", retorts Lan Fan sarcastically. ,,Your loss, bitch!", chuckles Envy mischievously. ,,Shut up, you _brotherfucker_ ", retorts Lan Fan dryly before addressing herself to the two girls: ,,So? How about a little game?" Cat and Lust answer with inquiring looks.

All of a sudden, Lan Fan jumps onto the bed again, sits down on Envy's lap, snatches away the gun and takes its bullets out of it. The others are visibly puzzled at that very moment. ,,I assume that you know how Russian roulette works, _Ivan_?" ,,Hey, are you insane?", snaps Lust at her. However, Envy just ignores his sister: ,,I'm sure you're going to change the rules."

,,Of course. I'm not the one who wants to commit suicide, remember?" ,,If so, cut the shit, _Mulan_!", hisses Envy with a disdainful look. Lan Fan rolls her eyes. Yet she obeys: ,,Lust, Cat and I are going to be your avenger angels today! Which means that each of us has to kick one of your enemies' asses. And the person who does the best job will be authorized to shoot!"

,,You can't be serious", whispers Lust with a dry look. However, Lan Fan just ignores her: ,, _But_ in case you should survive the first shot, you must swear that you'll never ever try to kill yourself again!" The others are speechless. ,,So? What are you saying, handsome?", asks Lan Fan, who is still sitting on his lap, before she starts brushing his stomach with the revolver's barrel...

OOO

When the three girls exit the _Rush Valley Inn**_ , Lust dryly remarks: ,,You definitely spend too much time with Kimblee and Greed." ,,I'm so sick of their games! Aren't you?" ,,Of course. But you know what, Lan Fan? Playing their games is not the solution."

,,Oh come on, Lust! What happened to you, huh?", giggles Catherine. ,,What are you talking about?", asks Lust in a snappy tone. ,,Please, you know what I'm talking about, _Sloth_!", retorts Catherine with a cheeky smirk. Lust is visibly scandalised.

But when the three of them suddenly get a text by Envy, they instantly focus on their smartphones. ,,So? Who are your victims?", asks Catherine with a conspiratorial smirk. ,,Solf J. Kimblee _slash_ Elric", mutters Lust with rolling eyes. ,,Roy Mustang...", answers Lan Fan, who is obviously confused and surprised. ,,Congratulations", chuckles Lust mischievously.

,,What about you, Cat?", she then asks. Only after a dramatic pause, Catherine, who is smirking conspiratorially, announces: ,,Ling Greed!" ,,Come on, girls. It's time for breakfast. Besides, we have plans to make!", announces Solaris Lust with a naughty smirk. Catherine's remark about Sloth must have motivated her...

OOO

When Edward exits his bedroom, he is surprised to see Kimblee and his mother having breakfast together in the kitchen. And not necessarily surprised in a good way: ,,What the hell are you doing here?" ,,I invited him, yesterday, when we met before the funeral!", answers Trisha with an angelic smile. ,,But I can go if you like", offers Kimblee with a devious smirk.

,,But Solf, why would Edward want you to go? I thought that you two were friends!", interposes Trisha with a confused look. ,,Well, I thought that, too", answers Kimblee with a goody-goody look. Ed discreetly rolls his eyes and bares his teeth. ,,Bye, mom!", he then grunts and is just about to go when Kimblee rises to speak again: ,,Hey, _brother_. Greed and I would like to talk to you."

Ed abruptly halts. However, he does not turn around while Solf continues: ,,I have to go to Briggs since Olivier asked for a private lesson but we can meet there later, if you like." ,,That sounds like a nice idea!", remarks Trisha happily. ,,Don't you think, honey?", she then asks with a hopeful look. Ed does not dare to turn around because he couldn't look her in the eye while saying no.

,,Edward...!", murmurs Trisha softly. That's it. Now, Ed cannot say no anymore. ,,Fine. I'll see you there!", he grunts and slams the door shut. ,,That's probably none of my business but may I ask you what happened?", asks their mother hesitatingly. ,,Well. Apparently, not everyone is willing to forget about my mistakes from the past", answers Kimblee with composure.

Trisha chuckles softly. ,,Did I say something wrong?", asks Solf with a raised eyebrow. ,,Actually, yes. You see? I know Edward and therefore I can tell you that your mistakes from the past are definitely not the reason for his behavior towards you... I mean, he even..." Trisha pauses before she starts anew: ,,He has even forgiven the Hughes family and Quinn..."

,,Haven't you?", asks Kimblee with composure. ,,When Maes called me in the middle of the night and wanted to meet me, I was worried sick... And when he then came over to tell me everything in person, I was speechless, to say the least..." ,,But you two did talk about it?" ,,We did. And I'm grateful to have learned the truth at last. Of course, I'm not angry with him and his family."

,,What about Quinn...?" ,,I'd... Love to... And I was at first... But then I asked myself what I would have done..." Kimblee chuckles softly. ,,What...?", asks Trisha with a confused look, yet with a weak smile. ,,Edward told us that you would try to put yourself in Quinn Bradley's shoes and therefore forgive her." ,,Well, what can I say? Ed knows me. But I know him, either."

,,Yes, so?" ,,Like I said. He's not angry with you because of your past." ,,If so, why is he?" ,,I don't know. But I'm sure you're going to learn his reasons when you meet him later." ,,I don't think so. Your son... My _brother_ can be very secretive from time to time." ,,Well, he's Van's son after all", answers Trisha with an angelic smile...

OOO

Almost forty minutes later, Solf knocks on Catherine's bedroom door. _,,Come in!"_ , offers a familiar voice from inside. With an inquiring look, Kimblee opens the door. ,,Good timing", remarks Lust, who is wearing a bikini, with a nasty smirk. ,,Is that so? Because actually, I've been asked to come here for a private lesson and not for spring break", retorts Solf sarcastically.

,,Wow. You're taking that agreement way too seriously", remarks Lust dryly. ,,Well, that's the way I treat agreements, Lusty." ,,Tcha. As you can see, Cat's not here." ,,The indoor pool upstairs or the whirlpool downstairs?" ,,The former. Come on, let's go there", decides Lust with a conspiratorial smirk. Kimblee nods silently, his look thoroughly sceptical...

OOO

,,Please, please, please! Let's cancel the private lesson, just this once!", pleads Catherine and takes a sip of her margarita. ,,Hey, I'd be fine with that but your sister -" ,,Don't worry, I won't rat you out, nerd", giggles Olivier's sister after she has climbed out of the pool. ,,Tcha, looks like you've come here for nothing", interposes Lust with a cheeky smirk before gracefully jumping into the pool.

,,Well...", begins Catherine while she's rubbing her hair with a towel. ,,Unless of course...", she continues with a conspiratorial smirk before shoving him into the pool, all of a sudden. Kimblee is scandalised, yet eager to keep his cool: ,,Thanks for today's second bath." ,,You're welcome!", giggles Catherine and sits down on the pool edge.

,,You know that you'll probably have to buy me a new phone, right?", he mutters and – while doing so – tries to sound as relaxed as possible. ,,Hey, Kimblee. I'm a slave for you", giggles Catherine. ,,Nice, Britney. If so, would you mind drying _these_ somehow?", he asks before handing his clothes, he has just taken off, over to her.

,,Sure", answers Catherine relaxedly, takes them and calls a maid after she has discreetly taken his smartphone out of his pocket. ,,Hey, Solf! Are you naked now?", asks Lust with a nasty smirk. ,,Believe it or not – but some people are actually wearing underwear when they leave their house", retorts Kimblee with a quite similar smirk.

,,Hey, Kimblee. Didn't you plan on meeting Ling Greed here after our _private lesson_?", asks Catherine out of the blue. ,,Forget, him. What about Envy?" ,,Why are you asking?", asks Lust curiously. ,,Because I haven't seen him anywhere after Edward had peached on him yesterday", answers Solf. ,,Don't worry, he's fine. He spent the night here", fibs Cat.

,,Interesting", remarks Solf with a devious smirk. ,,Come on, Solfie! Just ask me! I can see that you're dying to know!", whispers Cat with a quite similar smirk. ,,I have no idea what you're talking about", fibs Kimblee, still with a devious smirk on his face. ,,Yes, you have. You want to know whether he's bisexual or not", giggles Cat. ,,Well, I'm all ears, girls", he announces relaxedly.

This time, Lust rises to speak again: ,,The answer is definitely yes. I mean, the only two girls in this room had sex with him." ,,Very good sex", adds Cat nonchalantly. _,,Very good_ to know", retorts Kimblee sarcastically. ,,Uh, sorry, I forgot to ask! Do you want something to drink?", asks Cat. ,, _Needless to say_ – it doesn't have to be something alcoholic", she adds with a cheeky smirk.

,,Water would be nice", answers Solf with an impersonal look. While Cat calls her maid, Lust addresses herself to her ex-boyfriend again: ,,What about you?" ,,What about me?", he asks, even though he knows full well what she is referring to. ,,What do you think? I'm asking about your sexuality, of course", chuckles Lust nastily. ,,Still straight", answers Kimblee sincerely...

OOO

In the meantime, Trisha is preparing lunch in the Bradley house when King enters the kitchen. ,,Can I talk to you for a minute...?" ,,Sure", answers Trisha without looking him in the eye. She hasn't told him about Quinn and Van Hohenheim yet which is why she does not dare to look him in the eye while keeping such a big secret from him.

,,Well... Would you mind leaving a little later this evening...?" Without turning around, Trisha answers with a grumpy look that is completely out of character. Therefore, she is secretly happy that he hasn't seen it. ,,Of course", she answers as kindly as possible. Abandoning herself to an impulse, she then adds: ,,I just hope that you changed the website."

,,Excuse me?", asks King with a confused look. Trisha does not answer at first. But for some reason, she just cannot resist the urge to hold back the following words: ,,I'm just saying. The last woman you met there has been a downright psychopath, hasn't she? How ironic that she actually pretended to be a psychologist." King is visibly puzzled at that very moment.

After having cleared his throat, he asks: ,,Are you all right?" Trisha sighs quietly before putting on a smile, turning around and reassuring: ,,I'm fine, thanks. And don't worry, I'll leave a few hours later tonight." ,,Are you sure...?" ,,Of course! Selim and I have plans, you know?" ,,I see... And do these plans also concern a young gentleman by the name of Aoya?"

,,Wrath." ,,Yes?" ,,No, I mean, he wants us to call him Wrath." ,,Is that so...?" ,,Yes. But I haven't asked him yet why. Although, I'd love to know the reason, to be honest." ,,Well. I'm sure that this has something to do with Envy..." ,,Why is that...?" ,,Because almost everything concerning that boy has something to do with Envy", answers King with composure. Trisha nods silently...

OOO

Meanwhile, Edward and Roy are having a conversation in flat 3b's living room. ,,Thanks for telling me. I'll call Hughes when he returns." ,,Why, where is he?", asks Edward with a confused look. ,,He took Elicia to the countryside for a few days. He said something about clearing his mind." ,,I see..." ,,But how are you, _Fullmetal_?"

,,Good and you? We've barely talked after your flatmate had come back... So how are things between you...?" ,,Frosty." ,,If so, melt the ice!" ,,I am. But it's melting way too slowly." ,,Wow... That man indeed loves her, doesn't he?" ,,I don't know", fibs Roy. ,,Yes, you do! But speaking of her – did you -?" ,,No. I've kept my distance ever since." ,,But why?" ,,Excuse me?"

,,I'm curious, okay? Back then, when I asked you to stay away from her, you didn't listen to me which is why I'm wondering whether you -" ,,No. I didn't fall in love with her." ,,But why did you break your own rules then?" ,,Probably, because for a split second, I got tired of all these rules in my life. You see, _Fullmetal_?"

Roy pauses. But then: ,,Everyone has dark desires. And sooner or later they'll show themselves, no matter how hard you're trying to suppress them." ,,What are yours...?", asks Edward cautiously. Only after a short silent period, Roy finally answers: ,,I want to be my true self. And not the one, I created in order to be different from her..." ,,Are you referring to -?" ,, _Madame Christmas_? Yes."

,,How is that other self of yours...?" ,,Hedonistic." ,,Okay, and now the un-stuffy version, please." ,,Come on, you know what I'm talking about." ,, _Sex, Drugs and Rock 'n' Roll_?" ,,Yes. Except, I hate that kind of music." ,,Tcha. You're a bourgeois after all." ,,Please. Not anyone is such a _bad boy_ , _Fullmetal_." ,,What are you, nuts? I'm not a _bad boy_! I never did drugs or stuff like that!"

,,Are you serious?", asks Roy with a raised eyebrow. ,,Of course! Well... There was this one time, I smoked weed with..." ,,Please don't say Winry." ,,No, don't worry!" ,,Okay. If so, I guess it was Lan Fan?" ,,What...?" ,,Interesting", remarks Roy with a playful smirk. ,,Hey, I didn't say it was her, okay?" ,,But that would make perfect sense. Lan Fan is just the kind of girl who'd do such things."

,,Are we prejudice-ridden or something?" ,,Why, am I wrong?" ,,Well... No..." ,,See?" ,,But hey, Lan Fan is not a bad person!" ,,No one claimed that." ,,But I know what you're thinking! You think that she's one of those girls that mean trouble!" ,,Why would I? I barely know her. All I know is that she's not bad at math and that she uses our basement to _meet_ your brother and Ling Greed Bradley."

,,What...? Are you stalking her or something...?" ,,Don't be silly, _Fullmetal_. I just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time." ,,But... You weren't watching them, were you...?" ,,Of course not. I left, after she'd offered me to join them", answers Roy dryly. Ed blushes. ,,Yeah, you know...? That's just her weird sense of humor...!", he then murmurs sheepishly.

,,Don't worry, I know that full well." ,,And what did you tell her?" ,,Nothing. Your brother apologized on her behalf. I just laughed and left." ,,Hey, would ya mind _not_ calling him my brother all the time?" ,,But that's what he happens to be." ,,Not anymore. Yesterday, I told him, Ling Greed and even Envy off. Uh, and I outed the palm tree, by the way."

,,Wait a sec – you did _what_?", asks Roy with a puzzled look. ,,Hey, they pissed me off, okay?" ,,Tell me what happened." ,,I don't know. Kimblee started analyzing my personality and stuff. And things between me and Greed have been tense in a while so I just lost it. Especially, when they kept calling me a two-timing bastard. Well, these weren't their exact words but still."

,,So, you actually did cheat on Winry, huh?" ,,Haven't she already told you about it?" ,,No, but when you two ended your relationship all of a sudden, I knew that either you'd cheated on her or vice versa. And we also had that one conversation about cheating, remember?" Ed nods silently. ,,Are you disappointed now...?", he then asks hesitatingly.

,,Not really. I mean, you're young and shit happens, right?" ,,Still! She's like a sister to you, isn't she?" ,,Well. Don't get me wrong but I'm sure that I would have been more upset if I'd seen her suffering." ,,So, she didn't suffer at all?" ,,Of course, she did. But just not that much, you know?" Ed nods. ,,That makes sense. Because she has already admitted that she'd never truly loved me..."

,,Okay, now I'm confused. I mean, is it actually bothering you?" ,,What? No! I'm happy that nobody got hurt too badly!" ,,Good. Now tell me about yesterday." ,,That was nothing, okay? I just outed him, slapped his ass and left the bar." ,,Ouch." ,,What, huh?" ,,Well. I'm just wondering whether Envy is still among us." ,,What...?"

,,Think about it. You humiliated a narcissist. And narcississts usually aren't that good at handling humiliations." ,,Wait, are you saying that he might have committed suicide afterwards?" ,,Either that or he's going to commit homicide." ,,Hey, that's not funny at all!" ,,I'm downright serious, _Fullmetal_." Ed widens his eyes.

Suddenly, their conversation gets interrupted by the doorbell. After Roy has opened the door, he is surprised to see: ,,Miss Chang?" ,,Yeah... Hey, Mr. Mustang. Is Winry home...?" ,,Winry and her brother are in London. They'll return tomorrow evening", answers Roy with a friendly, yet impersonal smile. ,,Shit", mutters Lan Fan. ,,Sorry", she adds half-heartedly.

,,Never mind. Is there anything else I can do for you, Miss Chang?" ,,Yeah. You could stop calling me by my last name. And you could also tell me whether Ed is being with you at the moment", she answers nonchalantly. ,,Actually, he is. Do you want to come in, _Lan Fan_?" ,,Thank you, _Roy_ ", retorts Lan Fan with a cheeky smirk. Roy harrumphs. , _,Mr. Mustang_ ", she adjusts with rolling eyes.

When Edward sees her of all people, he is visibly surprised: ,,Lan Fan? What are you doing here?" ,,I was actually looking for Winry. I wanted to talk to her", answers Lan Fan. ,,Why, huh? Are you _acutally_ planning on making it up with her or are you just bored?", asks Ed sarcastically. ,,I'm bored right now because you're hanging out with your math teacher and not with me."

Instead of awaiting an answer, Lan Fan addresses herself to Roy: ,,Speaking of which – how come that he's allowed to call you Roy whereas I ain't, huh?" Roy does not know what to say. But then: ,,Ed and I had met before he became my student." ,,Liar. Why don't you just admit that he's like the brother you never had whereas I'm just some random person, huh?"

,,Lan Fan! Leave him alone!", grunts Ed with blushed cheeks. ,,Oh come on. He's a grown-up man, he can speak for himself. Am I right, _Roy_?" Roy does not answer right away. But then: ,,Are we craving for a little attention, young Lady?" Lan Fan rolls her eyes. ,,Of course, damnit. Isn't that obvious as hell? Seriously, _Roy_ , I would have expected you to give me a cleverer answer than that."

,,Wow. Your friend is truly a pain in the ass, _Fullmetal_ ", remarks Roy dryly. ,,Oh, poor _Roy_. Let me guess – you're not used to women who have _a ready tongue_ , huh?" ,,Trust me, I'm used to all sort of women and tongues", retorts Roy with a playful smirk.

However, his smirk immediately fades when he realises that he has just flirted with an underage student. At least that's what Lan Fan's triumphant smirk and Ed's rather furious look are telling him. ,,Okay, it's definitely time to get the hell out of here!", announces Ed grumpily. ,,Good idea", interposes Roy with an impersonal look.

,,Too bad. I was just starting to enjoy the situation", pouts Lan Fan theatrically before laughing nastily. Then, she turns around and addresses herself to Ed: ,,Are you coming with me?" Edward does not answer right away. Instead, he darts a glance at Roy, who nods approvingly. ,,Sure, why not. Just you go, I'll come in a minute!" ,,Cool", remarks Lan Fan and heads for the door.

Meanwhile, Ed addresses himself to Roy: ,,Shame on you, damnit!" ,,What? I've just tried to keep up with your ready-witted friend, that's all." ,,Hey, just so you know! Other than Lust, Lan Fan is a minor!" ,,Come on, _Fullmetal_. Stop talking nonsense and go roll a joint", retorts Roy with a playful smirk. ,,Bastard!", hisses Ed and leaves while Roy is laughing amusedly...

OOO

,,What the hell is wrong with you?", asks Ed with a reproachful look while he and Lan Fan are exiting the residential building. ,,Sorry, no idea what you're talking about." ,,Shut up, liar! I mean, Roy Mustang? Seriously?" ,,What? He's hot as hell. Don't tell me, that you've never thought about getting _butt-fucked_ by him." ,,No, bitch! He's just a friend!", clarifies Ed. He is telling the truth.

,,You know what? I believe you. But since he's not a friend of mine -" ,,Hey, stop! I don't allow you to put him in danger! You're a minor!" ,,Don't be silly, okay? Never ever would he wanna have sex with me." ,,Get real, girl! Nearly _everyone_ wants to have sex with you!" ,,Not really. I mean you even admitted that you'd prefer Envy. And speaking of the only other bisexual person I know..."

,,Yes...?", asks Ed cautiously. ,,Do you wanna know what happened after you'd left or not?" ,,Shoot!", answers Ed right away. ,,Well, he kind of vanished. Seriously, it took Lust and me forever to find him. But we did find him. Him and Catherine. In the _Rush Valley Inn**_ , across the street. And he had a gun as well as pills with him." ,,Oh my...!"

,,Don't worry, he didn't _finish the job_. At least, not yet. Because we have an agreement." ,,What the f-?" ,,Shut up and listen to me! You have to be there for him today!" ,,What? Why the f-?" ,,You should have seen him! I mean it, Ed! He needs you at the moment! You and your precious butt!" ,,Wait, are you actually asking me to serve as his sex slave?", asks Ed with a furious look.

,,Oh, come on. We both know that you like that. Besides, you're free anyway, aren't you?" ,,Well... Actually I told Kimblee that -" ,,Forget Kimblee. That bastard can wait. But Envy can't." Ed does not answer right away. But after a while, he cautiously asks: ,,Is it really that bad...?" ,,Perhaps, you should go there and see it for yourself", retorts Lan Fan with an uncharacteristically serious look...

OOO

When Ling Greed – as he's been told by the maid – enters the room with the whirlpool instead of the room where the taller pool is, he can see nobody else but Catherine. ,,Hey, greedy boy", she giggles and takes a sip from her drink while stretching her wet body. Greed is having a hard time ignoring that. ,,Hey, there. Where's Kimblee?"

,,He'll come in an hour. Why?" ,,And Ed?" ,,Ed?" ,,The plan was to meet them here." ,,Sorry but like most of the time, no one told me anything." ,,I see. If so, I should probably go now and come back later." ,,Sure. Or..." ,,Yes?" ,,You could also stay and just wait for them instead." ,,Really, huh?", asks Greed with a sceptical look. ,,Of course. _Mi casa es su casa_ , _amigo_ ", giggles Catherine.

,,Too bad that I didn't bring my swimming things", retorts Ling Greed. ,,Why is that?" ,,Because whirlpools rock." ,,I know. But what I don't get is why you have to wear swimming things." Ling Greed raises an eyebrow. ,,Are you actually suggesting what I think you're suggesting?", he then asks relaxedly while secretly being surprised.

,,Sure, why not? I've seen naked boys before, so", retorts Catherine with a naughty smirk. ,,But of course, I can close my eyes, if that'll make you feel more comfortable", she then adds with a rather mocking smirk. ,,Pah. Have we met yesterday?", he asks sarcastically while taking off his clothes piece by piece. It is only when he takes off his boxers, too that Cat unwillingly widens her eyes.

After he has sat down he stretches his body. ,,Wow. I missed that." ,,When was the last time?" ,,Last year I dated a girl who owned a heart-shaped whirlpool." ,,Gross." ,,If you say so. When was your last time? Let me guess – yesterday, before the funeral?" ,,Precisely. I sat here and masturbated while imagining that Archer was still alive and banging me like there were no tomorrow."

Ling Greed answers with a puzzled look. But then, he spontaneously decides to test her: ,,Wow. Poor virgin, you." ,,Nice try, Greed. But we both know that Envy's not gay." ,,Do we, huh?" ,,Yes, we do. And yes, I also know of his bisexuality. He spent the night with me after what Ed had done to him at the _Devil's Nest_. And guess which story he told me."

Secretly, Greed is nervous at that moment. Outwardly, however, he's still keeping his cool: ,,Are you referring to his fifteenth birthday?" ,,Gosh, seriously! What on earth were you thinking, you sick pervert?" Greed does not know what to say which is why he decides to tell her the truth: ,,I have no idea. Back then, I've been totally out of control. As if nearly no rules exited in my life."

,, _Nearly_?" ,,Yeah. For example, I've never raped anyone or slept with one of my sisters." ,,And why was it easier for you to bang your half-brother instead?" ,,Envy and I have always hated each other. And I knew that it would fuck his pride. Thus, I could kill two birds with one stone." ,,Interesting. And was that the only time Envy... You know...?"

,,Sucked my chopper?" Catherine nods silently. ,,Yes", answers Greed in a nutshell. ,,And was that it...?" ,,Well. We kissed twice. And I also used to whip him a lot. That felt even better than this one blowjob on his birthday. Either way, I lost interest in our games one day. I'm straight, after all." ,,Are you sure...?" ,,Yes. I mean there's been Envy and Ed but that's it, so."

,,Wait, you and Edward...?" ,,Yeah. We wanked each other off in the shower." ,,Wow. I swear, I never would have considered Edward Elric to be bisexual. Or you." ,,What about Envy?" ,,I don't know. But I've always been wondering why he wanted to take the back entrance most of the time." ,,Did you let him?" ,,Well. Your brother can be very convincing. And so _deliciously_ cruel..."

Ling Greed, who is secretly surprised, raises an eyebrow. ,,Good to know that you were enjoying it." ,,I were. And I still am. But not anytime", answers Cat sincerely. ,,Is it possible that you are bisexual, too?", asks Greed out of the blue. Catherine answers with a puzzled look. ,,What, huh?" ,,Nothing! It's just that I wasn't expecting that question!"

,,Okay. So?" Cat shrugs. ,,Anything is possible. I mean, right now, I'm hanging out with you, a person I don't like at all. And you're even naked." ,,Yeah, speaking of which – how come that I'm the only one, huh?", asks Greed nonchalantly. Cat raises an eyebrow. ,,What do you mean?" ,,You know exactly what I mean. You say that you don't like me. And I believe you. But I saw your look."

,,Which one?" ,,The one you had when I took off the last piece of fabric. So how come that you haven't taken off yours yet, huh?", he asks and smirks. Nastily. And Catherine knows what that smirk of his means. ,,Counter question, Greed. How come that you haven't done it yet, huh?", she therefore asks with a quite similar smirk on her face.

Slowly, Ling Greed comes closer. ,,That's actually a very good question", he retorts in a whisper before abruptly loosening the ribbon of her bikini top. When he starts touching her breasts she accidentally lets out a high-pitched moan. ,,Dammit, I knew that your moans would sound like that." ,,And I knew that you were thinking about such things", retorts Cat with a horny look.

Ling Greed smirks nastily before starting to kiss her wildly, while slowly taking down her bikini panties. Afterwards he slides his tongue down her chest while touching her clit. Another loud, yet high moan. ,,Hump me!", she moans into his ear. Greed smirks nastily before roughly penetrating her _front entrance_. Cat rolls her eyes with relish.

Simultaneously, he bites her chin before suddenly turning over her body and starting to penetrate her from behind this time. While doing so, he stimulates her areola with the right hand and her clit with the left one. Catherine can't stop moaning.

Here and there, he grasps her ponytail so vigorously that she is forced to look up to the ceiling. ,,Say the same!", he pants into her ear. ,,Greed...!", she moans in a whisper. ,,Louder, slut!" ,,Greeeed!", she almost screeches before both of them come...

OOO

A few minutes later, they decide to repeat _it_. But this time, Catherine is _riding_ him. At first, slowly but then she speeds up. Ling Greed almost gets hypnotised by the bumping of her breasts. And for some reason he just cannot resist the urge to lick and suck them, which he starts doing eventually. Simultaneously, he keeps fingering her gluteal area while motivating her with misogynistic words.

All in all, Ling Greed loves how she is sticking out her tiny tongue and rolling her eyes as if she was about to faint every minute. Also her moans are very arousing. When both of them come the second time, Catherine moans his name even louder. Having him of all people _inside_ , makes her feel like a real sex goddess. And for a split second, she even forgets about the intrigue...

OOO

Meanwhile, Lan Fan cautiously rings the bell of flat 3b. When Roy opens the door he is surprised to see her again: ,,You?" ,,Yes, _I_. Can I come in? We have to talk." ,,I'm sure that we can also talk here, Miss Chang." ,,I'm afraid we can't. Besides, stop being paranoid, _Mr. Must-Bang_. I'm not Lust, okay?" Roy answers with a puzzled look. Then, he just sighs and steps aside...

OOO

,,I've been warned. Yet I haven't listened to anybody. But they were right. I shouldn't have become a teacher", he mutters while sitting down on his couch. ,,Well. I'm not sure whether your job is the problem", retorts Lan Fan sarcastically. Roy answers with a dry look. ,,Whatever. You're here to talk, so talk." ,,Sure. But you have to keep everything a secret, including my visit, okay?"

,,Hell no. And I thought, that all that _secret-keeping_ died along with Dante." ,,Keep on dreaming, Mister." ,,If so, tell me what happened _this time_." ,,Um... I don't know how much Ed has told you about his relationship with Ivan Envy Bradley." ,,He told me everything. Last night's events included." ,,Well. Unfortunately, the real drama took place this morning when we found Envy..."

,,Let me guess... Suicide attempt...?" ,,How...?" ,,Intuition. Did you make sure that he gets institutionalized?" ,,Um... Not really..." ,,Oh, Lan Fan", sighs Roy. ,,Hey, we weren't able to think everything through at that moment, okay?" ,,Fine. I'll accept this. For now. Tell me, what have you done instead?" ,,I... Um... Came up with an idea that seemed less stupid at first...!"

,,Oh my... Okay, I'm all ears." Lan Fan discreetly gulps. ,,It's kind of a deal. Envy was allowed to utter three wishes. And if we are able to fulfill them, he will never try to commit suicide again..." ,,I hope that you, on the other hand, agreed on never smoking weed again because that idea is insane!" Lan Fan rolls her eyes. ,,Not helping, _Mr. Mustang_."

,,Good. Because according to your words you've come here to help me and not vice versa, remember?" ,,Yes. Well. Three people are on Envy's black list. And you happen to be one of them." ,,Wait, what about _Fullmetal_?" ,,Who?" ,,Edward!" ,,Uh. Don't worry, Envy would never allow us to mess with his _precious doll_." ,,Then who are the other two victims?"

,,Who cares? You are the third one." ,,Fine. And did you ask him, why?" ,,What do you mean?" ,,Well, there has to be a reason for his hatred towards me." ,,Not really. He's Envy, after all. Which is why I didn't ask questions. Instead, I started looking for answers. And I found some." After having said the last words, she suddenly puts a little ring box on the table. Roy widens his eyes.

,,Lust told me about that house in the middle of nowhere where shit between you and her got real for the first time." Roy discreetly gulps. ,,So you went there and found..." ,,The ring, yes." ,,I see... And did you also find out who -?" ,,The woman is, you bought that dark yet pretty house and this nice ring for? Yes, I did. You see? I own nothing that would prove your fling with Lust."

,,Thus, you had to find something else. Which you did." ,,Right. I found out about that secret paradise you were trying to create. However, I'd rather stick to the original plan and tell him about your teacher-student-affair instead." ,,What?", asks Roy with a furious look. ,,Hey, teacher! Listen already! Mr. Bradley is not going to fire you!" This time, Roy answers with an inquiring look...

OOO

Meanwhile, Envy is still staying at the hotel room in Dublith when somebody knocks on the door all of a sudden. ,,Who's there?", he asks grumpily. _,,It's me"_ , says a text he just got from Lan Fan. Envy is confused. He does not understand why she's writing him instead of answering from the other side of the door.

It is only when he opens it that he realises that he has been tricked. Because the person who has sent that text from Lan Fan's phone is Edward. Edward, who is now shoving Envy aside in order to enter the room. And Envy is not fast enough to prevent him from doing so. Not only did Edward barge in, but he also started his search for traces.

,,Are you looking for _this_?", asks Envy after having overcome his inner shock. When Ed spots the gun in his hand, he widens his eyes. ,,Envy...! Don't...!" ,,Uh! Shhh!", hisses Envy and gives Ed a nonverbal signal that tells him to halt. Edward reluctantly obeys. ,,Good boy. Now tell me why you're here", begins Envy, his smirk devious.

Edward does not answer. ,,Speak!", commands Envy with a more serious look this time. ,,I don't know...! I just had a bad feeling...! And I still have...!" ,,And you're bloody right about it! So answer me one question!" Ed discreetly gulps. ,,Shoot!", he then commands with gritted teeth. ,,What a poor choice of words. But okay. I want to know how much you're ready to pay."

,,Pay for _what_?" ,,For my life." ,,Envy, come on, you -!" ,,Hush! Just answer my question! But before you do that you should keep in mind that it's not my fault that you chose to leave the paradise behind and enter the dark side of Amestris." Ed does not answer. Slowly, Envy comes closer while whispering: ,,But guess what – I know a way to create a paradise myself!"

Saying those words, Envy suddenly takes magic mushrooms out of his pocket. ,,You can't be serious...!", pants Ed with a distraught look. ,,Stop denying your dark side! And embrace it instead!", whispers Envy into his ear. ,,And what's all the more important – give me a fucking reason to stay alive!", continues Envy after having raised his voice a little. Ed doesn't react at first...

OOO

 _At first, Edward and Envy are sitting on rocks that are surrounded by a lake of blood and darkness. The only source of light is this one burning torch in Ed's hand. After they have fought each other, they suddenly find a gate. They open it and end up in a room that is snow white._

 _Somewhere in the distance, they can hear Lana Del Rey's song Dark Paradise. All of a sudden, a white figure appears infront of them. ,,Who the heck are you?", asks Envy with crossed arms and a disdainful look. ,,I'm the Truth!", answers the figure and starts laughing maniacally..._

OOO

In the meantime, Ling Greed is on his way back home when he suddenly can see blue flashing lights behind his car. Within seconds he gets surrounded by two police cars. ,,What the fuck...?", he whispers with a thoroughly confused look while the police officers are heading for his car.

,,Ling Greed Bradley?", asks Officer Focker. ,,Yeah, so?", asks Ling Greed with composure. ,,Get out of the car! And hands up!" ,,What the hell is going on?", asks Ling Greed while getting pulled out of his car. His stomach gets pressed against the window, his hands get handcuffed. ,,You're arrested for drug possession!", announces Focker sharply. Ling Greed is speechless...

 **Thank you so much for reading and also for reviewing! (:**

 **For the rest: Next chapter will be named after Lana's song** ** _Playing Dangerous_**

 **Kisses, PinkChocolateGlitter (;**


	32. Playing Dangerous

**Disclaimer: I don't own the mentioned brand names, the song titles and I also don't own Fullmetal Alchemist (c'est dommage...)!**

 **Information:**

Before we move to the real story, I want to explain a few things ahead, that don't need to be necessarily read but I personally feel like they could be sort of important to the readers.

Content: One shot as well as one lemon. Also, you are going to learn who Sloth's lover is (;

Allusion: I'm sure you won't miss the allusions.

Everything is said for now, so let's move to the story!

 **Guest#1**

 **\- Chapter 32: Playing Dangerous -**

,,I'm not doing this!", declares Roy while Lan Fan is taking off her clothes, except for her underwear. ,,Well, you have to. I mean, what's worse? Losing your superior's respect or a friend?" ,,There is another option! Stop doing what Envy is forcing you to -!" Roy abruptly falls silent when he spots the fake uroboros tattoo on her chest. ,,Hey, Mustang! Strip already!"

Roy runs his fingers through his hair, whispering: ,,I can't believe that this is actually happening!" And just like that, he also starts taking off his clothes except for his underwear and sits down on the couch. For a moment, Lan Fan is distracted by his handsomeness which is why she does not react at first when he says her name. ,,Hey, are you there?"

,,Huh? Yes! Sorry!", she stammers before positioning the camera. For some reason, she is a little nervous at that moment. Especially, when Roy asks: ,,Are you ready?" She discreetly gulps, then nods silently and sits down on his lap. While doing so, she strictly avoids eye contact. She even flinches, when Roy removes her ponytail and murmurs: ,,Just so the tattoo will be in sight."

Lan Fan does not move. ,,Hey, are you all right?", asks Roy with a raised eyebrow. ,,To be honest, I feel like we were shooting a sex tape", she answers as relaxedly as possible. ,,Well... Actually, that's sort of what we are going to do", answers Roy sarcastically. Lan Fan nods hysterically but does not answer verbally.

Only now does Roy realise: ,,You are nervous, aren't you?" ,,What...? Um... Yeah, kinda... I mean, I've never shot a fake sex tape with one of my teachers so far, have you...?" ,,No. And neither have I done such things with a minor. But hey, don't worry. I've always been curious about life in prison." Lan Fan does not know what to say. Hence, she just stutters: ,,D-do i-it!"

,,Fine. But what exactly are you expecting me to do, huh?", asks Roy with composure. ,,I don't know, okay? Lust didn't give me the dirty details about the sex you two had!" ,,Sex? No, no, young Lady. You and I will definitely not have sex." ,,We... Won't...?" ,,Of course not. Right now, we're wearing nothing more than our underwear. A fake kiss will therefore be enough."

Lan Fan raises an eyebrow but other than that, she does not answer which is why Roy rises to speak again: ,,Come closer and act as if you were going to kiss my neck." Lan Fan nods slowly. Secretly hypnotised by his scent, she then hesitatingly does what she has been asked to do. ,,Okay, well done. Let's see if it worked out and -"

Roy abruptly falls silent when Lan Fan suddenly starts kissing his neck. At first, he is too bemused to react. But then, he grabs her shoulders all of a sudden and commands: ,,Stop!" Lan Fan answers with a puzzled look. Because right now, she is astonished by her own action. As a result, her face turns crimson and her eyes become wet. Roy is confused at first.

However, he eventually understands what is happening which is why he reassures: ,,Hey, it's all right, okay?" Lan Fan hysterically shakes her head. ,,No, it's not...! I just...! Oh my God...! You're my math teacher...! I wanna have sex with my math teacher...! And I'm a virgin...!" Roy is visibly surprised. ,,What, huh?", snarls Lan Fan. ,,Nothing", he fibs as convincingly as possible.

With caution, he sits her down on the couch before getting up and taking the camera. ,,Well, the good news is that the picture is authentic. You look like Lust and I look like the horny math teacher who is about to have sex with her." ,,Cool. And the bad news?" Roy smirks playfully. ,,You are traumatized now", he then answers sarcastically.

Lan Fan does not answer at first. But then: ,,Give me the camera!" Roy obeys, his look confused. And he is even all the more confused when Lan Fan suddenly smashes the camera to the floor so that it breaks. Afterwards, she relaxedly starts getting dressed. ,,Okay, would you mind telling me what -?" ,,I'm done. I won't do this. Envy can go fuck _and_ kill himself."

,,Why that, all of a sudden?" ,,He's an asshole, that's why. He probably thinks that I don't know any of your secrets and that making a fool of myself thus would be my only option to win this game." ,,But why would he do that to you? Haven't you tried to help him?" ,,Sure but that's not the only reason why I came up with this game."

,,Is that so?" ,,Of course! The reason why I suggested it in the first place is that I wanted to ruin _them_! Envy knew it and yet gave me your name instead because that way he wants to punish me for my selfish ulterior motives!" ,,Well. That indeed sounds like him." ,,Hell yeah, it does! But you know what? Fuck that game! I just stripped for my damn math teacher! And... Oh my...!"

,,What is it?", asks Roy calmly. ,,What the hell is wrong with you?" ,,Wrong with me?" ,,Yes, damnit! I mean, why haven't you stopped that shit already, huh? For fuck's sake, you almost risked your freaking job!" ,,Well. Otherwise you would have destroyed my friendship with -" ,,What the fuck, Mr. Mustang? I never would have done something like that! I'm not like them!"

,,Lan Fan, please, you -!" ,,You know what? I have another idea! I'll go to Dublith and kill that goddamned palm tree!" ,,No, you won't." ,,Yes, I will!" While cautiously grasping her wrists and sitting her down on the couch, Roy softly repeats: ,, _No. You won't_." ,,Why not, huh?", snapps Lan Fan at him. Roy does not answer at first. But then: ,,Because tonight, you will be my guest."

OOO

Almost thirty minutes later, Envy announces: ,,I'm all ears, ladies." Right now, he is lying on the messy bed in the even messier hotel room, his arms crossed behind his neck. ,,Ling Greed got arrested for drug possession", giggles Catherine. ,,No bloody way!", exclaims Envy enthusiastically before starting to chukle mischievously. ,,Well done, chérie", he remarks after he has calmed down.

,,What about Mustang?", he then asks. ,,Well. Before we came here, I'd talked to Lan Fan on the phone. She said that she failed and that I should apologise to you on her behalf", reports Lust. Envy shrugs before retorting: ,,Too bad. But not too surprising. Whatever, let's forget about Mustang and rather talk about the oldest Elric."

Lust does not answer right away. Instead, she suddenly hands her smartphone over to him. ,,A picture is worth a thousand words", she then whispers with a devious smirk. Envy answers with an inquiring look at first. However, when he sees that shocking picture, he widens eyes and mouth. ,,What is it?", asks Catherine curiously.

Envy doesn't answer her. Instead, he addresses himself to his sister: ,,Wow. That's crude, even for you. Hats off." Lust just shrugs with a triumphant smirk on her face and her arms crossed. Striking a more serious note, her brother adds: ,,I hope you know that you will never be allowed to set foot in our house in case you should go ahead with that."

,,Hey, I was just trying to win this game, okay?" ,,And I appreciate that, _ma soeur_. But I'm afraid, Catherine is the one who deserves to fire the shot." Just when Catherine is about to reach for the gun in Envy's hand, Lust interposes: ,,But Envy, just this once! And then never again! Promise?" ,,Promise", chuckles Envy before handing the gun over to Cat.

Catherine does not hesitate at all. ,,Wow. Interesting", remarks Lust with a conspiratorial smirk. ,,What...?", asks Cat insecurely. ,,What a silly question, girl. I mean, you're literally pointing a gun at your best friend. And I could swear that you're actually enjoying the situation." ,,Hey, Envy wanted it that way!", argues Cat.

,,Who cares? Envy is a psychopath. Both of you are. The question is whether you're going to be a killer, too, in a few secs. Too bad that I'll have to wait until tomorrow to read the answer in the newspapers because I definitely won't stay here to witness a murder." Hearing those words, Cat suddenly starts shaking.

,,Come on, chérie. Don't listen to her, she's just a coward", chuckles Envy. ,,Says the person who wants to commit suicide", retorts Lust sarcastically. ,,And who – by the way – isn't even man enough to do it on his own", she adds with a mocking smirk. ,,Shut up!", hisses Envy before abruptly grasping the gun in Catherine's hand.

Lust's smirk immediately disappears: ,,Envy, what are you doing?" ,,Oh, you know that full well, sister!", chuckles Envy before instantly shoving the revolver's barrel into his mouth and pulling the trigger. Lust and Catherine both screech so loudly that Edward, who has been sleeping on the bathroom floor the entire time, suddenly starts from his sleep...

OOO

When the two girls exit the _Rush Valley Inn**_ later, Catherine insecurely asks: ,,Was it really such a good idea to leave him all by himself? We did take the gun, the pills and the belts but what if he jumps or -?" ,,Don't worry, he's not alone." ,,What...?" ,,I swear, someone was in his bathroom!", whispers Lust with a naughty smirk. Cat does not answer.

Instead, she asks: ,,Now what?" ,,Nothing. The game is over. Thus, I can now completely focus on my own one." ,,What about Ling Greed?" ,,What about him? Sooner or later, the police will find out that the bag of cocaine in his car is actually a bag of flour", chuckles Lust. ,,And what about Kimblee?" ,,Like I said, he's part of my own game." ,,Dammit, I'm so curious!"

,,Yes. Too bad that you're not trustworthy at all which is why I won't tell you anything. But hey, I can buy you a drink instead." ,,Sure. Why not?", giggles Cat. ,,But perhaps, you should get rid of all those bullets first. You know. The ones, you'd taken out of the revolver before Envy fired his one shot", adds Cat with a cheeky wink. At that very moment, Lust is secretly impressed...

OOO

Meanwhile, Edward exits the bathroom of Envy's hotel room. ,,What the hell has just happened in here, huh?" ,,Nothing special. I merely missed the chance to end my life." Hearing those words, Ed instantly starts searching for the gun. ,,Don't worry, okay? They took everything with them. The revolver, the belts, the pills and so on. Besides, I agreed on _one_ try. And I failed, so."

,,You've never truly planned on doing this, have you?", asks Ed rhetorically, his look slightly disdainful. ,,Pah. You have no idea", snorts Envy. ,,If so, I'm all ears", retorts Ed calmly and sits down on the bed. ,,Screw you, why would I talk to you of all people, after what you'd done, huh?" ,,Please. I didn't do anything. I mean, none of them would out you. Ever." ,,Says who?"

,,I say that! But even if they did – who cares? It's 20-fucking-17! No one at school will judge you!" ,,Right. No one. Except for the headmaster and his secretary, of course." ,,So what? You are Ivan Envy Bradley! Nobody can destroy you! Neither your father nor... Your mother...!" Dante's son answers with a stunned look.

However, Ed does not dare to look him in the eye while murmuring: ,,I saw the look on your face when she told you that you were her favorite..." Envy is speechless at first. After having gulped discreetly, he finally asks: ,,So? Are you here to mock me?" ,,What...? No, idiot! I'm here because you asked me to stay!", grunts Ed. ,,That's hilarious!", chuckles Envy.

,,Hey, you can laugh at me as much as you want! I don't care!" Envy rolls his eyes. ,,Fine, whatever. Just answer me a question. You said you stayed because I asked you to. Why?" Edward opens his mouth but the words just do not come out. He tries again. But all he manages to answer is a lame ,,I dunno..." and that's it. Envy rolls his eyes once again.

,,Next question", he announces nonchalantly before relaxedly lying back, with his arms crossed behind his neck. ,,The things you said yesterday – were they true?" ,,Which ones particularly?" ,, _He handcuffed me, dragged me along my bathroom floor, whipped me, slapped me and fucked the shit out of me! And you know what else? I enjoyed every damn second of it!_ "

,,Wow. Your imitation skills rock", remarks Ed sarcastically. ,,Just one of my many talents. Still, you haven't answered my question yet." ,,Because you've already answered it, Envy." ,,Stop saying my name." ,,Sorry but I won't call you _master_ or something like that just because I allowed you to _BDSM_ me that one time", snorts Edward boastfully.

,, _One time_ , huh? Sounds ultimate", retorts Envy with a devious smirk. Instead of answering right away, Ed sheepishly scratches his head first. ,,Um, you know? I did some research afterwards..." ,,Bookworm." ,,Shut up!" ,,Okay, okay. I'm all ears", chuckles Envy cheekily. ,,Well, I found out that BDSM is actually just some sort of a role playing." ,,Clever boy." ,,And that got me curious..."

,,Is that so?", asks Envy with an almost maniac smirk. Edward does not answer verbally. Instead he just nods silently, yet accompanied by one of his typical looks that demonstrate fearlessness. ,,If so, tell me what you expect me to do", whispers Envy while slowly leaning forward so that their foreheads almost touch. Edward discreetly gulps.

Because like so many times before he is secretly driven crazy by Envy's scent. Hesitatingly, he retorts: ,,That kinda depends on you... I mean, are you still interested in... Dominating me...?" ,,I am", whispers Envy with a devious smirk. Ed nods. ,,So am I!" ,,But...?", asks Envy with a raised brow. ,,But I command you to stick to particular rules, Envy!" Envy does not answer right away...

OOO

Meanwhile, Trisha and Selim are sitting in his living room. Since the children's home spontaneously decided to say no to Aoya's visit, they are on their own. ,,Why didn't they allow him to come here? They should consider it an honour that we want to spend time with him!", hisses Pride. ,,You heard what they said. They're worried because you two were having conflicts in the past..."

Just when Selim is about to answer, Ling Greed suddenly enters the house in an uncharacteristically aggressive manner. Trisha is obviously worried: ,,Hey, there...!" ,,Hey", mutters Greed and is just about to stomp upstairs when Trisha – after having apologised to Selim – walks towards him so she can look him in the eye while asking: ,,Did something happen, Ling Greed?"

,,I'm fine, Trish. But that doesn't mean that Kimblee is", mutters Greed. ,,What do you mean...?", asks Trisha with a worried look. ,,That, I can tell you! He was supposed to meet me this afternoon! But he never showed up and neither does he pick up his phone!" ,,Perhaps, he's just mad at you for whatever reason", interposes Selim with rolling eyes. Trisha, on the other hand, starts dialing...

OOO

In the meantime, Kimblee wakes up in a familiar bed. The one in Miles' old bedroom, that used to be his. He barely remembers anything that happened after he had taken a sip from that glass of water in Cat's pool. Even though, he's still a little groggy, he tries to get up before exiting the bedroom and entering the living room.

Scar is sitting on one of the couches and plunking on his guitar. Playing instruments has always been Scar's passion. His only true passion. And also his _secret_ passion. ,,Wow. I had no idea. You can actually play guitar." ,,And you are actually drinking alcohol", retorts Scar dryly after a short silent period. ,,Despite your own words", he adds, less unemotionally.

,,What I said was the truth. I don't drink alcohol." ,,Then how come that you were lying on the stairs like an unconscious college student?", asks Scar sarcastically. ,,I see. So that's how I ended up here." ,,Hey, I planned on ignoring you. But Rose was with me when I found you. And she insisted. So." ,,So you decided to be a modern man who does what his girlfriend asks him to do?"

Scar does not answer which is why Kimblee eventually rises to speak again: ,,Like I said, I didn't drink alocohol. Just water mixed with knockout drops." ,,If you say so", answers Scar indifferently. Kimblee does not know what to say. But then: ,,You don't seem to believe me." ,,Hey, it's your life, okay? You can do whatever you want."

,,Okay. If so, I'm going to leave now. The others are probably wondering where I've been the entire day." ,,Probably, yes." ,,Yes. So. Thank you for your chivalry and stuff." ,,You're welcome." ,,Well... May you have a nice evening, Mr Khan." ,,You, too." Kimblee does not know what else he could say. Therefore, he just leaves...

OOO

When he enters the Bradley house he unexpectedly gets hugged by Trisha. At that very moment Solf is so astonished that he does not react at all. ,,Where have you been?", asks Trisha with a worried look after she let go of him. ,,I was meeting an old friend and didn't hear my phone", fibs Kimblee. ,,Sorry, in case I worried you", he adds with a charming smirk.

Trisha sighs with relief. ,,Anyways. Come on, boys, I'll make you something to eat!", she then decides and goes to the kitchen without awaiting an answer. After having darted a disdainful glance at the two older boys, Selim follows his housekeeper.

,,So. What happened, huh?", asks Ling Greed first. Kimblee does not answer right away. But then: ,,Catherine Armstrong and your sister happened." ,,What did they do?" ,,I have no idea. All I can remember is that I drank the water they'd offered me today and then woke up in my old bed in Scar's flat. He said that he'd found me on the stairs." ,,What the fuck?" ,,What about you, huh?"

,,Whatcha mean?" ,,Come on, there's no way they spared you of all people." Greed discreetly rolls his eyes before awkwardly answering: ,,You're right, they pranked me, too. While heading home I got arrested for drug possession. But it turned out to be flour instead of cocaine..." Hearing that, Solf almost bursts into laughter. However, he somehow contains himself.

,,Why all of a sudden?", he asks eventually. ,,I don't know. But the first thing that came to my mind is that Ed -" ,,No", interrupts Kimblee with composure. ,,Why, huh? According to his own words, he hates our guts." ,,Right. His _own_ words. You see? Edward is just not the kind of person who would prank others. I mean, he's not -" ,,Envy?", interrupts Ling Greed. ,,Precisely."

,,So you think that he's the one who pulled the strings today?" ,,Either that or the girls acted on their own." ,,Yeah, whyever. I mean, all I did was verbally attacking that bitch." ,,Which one?" ,,Catherine, of course. Lust and I actually get along well these days." ,,Or that's just what she wants you to believe." ,,If so, she can go screw herself!", hisses Ling Greed with a hate-filled mien.

Suddenly, their conversation gets interrupted by the arrival of King Wrath, who looks like he's been partying for two nights. Ling Greed is visibly confused. ,,Hey, dad. Are you alright? You look like a rape victim." ,,Not now, Greed", murmurs King Wrath absent-mindedly before going upstairs. Ling Greed and Kimblee are both confused. And also secretly alarmed...

OOO

When Lan Fan wakes up on Sunday morning she does not know where she is at first. After a while, however, she realises that she has fallen asleep on the couch in flat 3b's living room. ,,Good morning, Miss Chang", chuckles a familiar voice behind her. Lan Fan startles before abruptly turning around.

Roy is sitting at the table and reading a book. ,,What happened?", asks Lan Fan whose voice is sounding lazy on the one hand and panic-stricken on the other hand. ,,We watched _Suicide Squad_ and then you fell asleep." ,,Right, because I got tired of your damning comments." ,,Please, that movie is stupid and you know that", chuckles Roy.

,,Okay, I do admit that Jared Leto sucks as the _Joker_ but _Harley Quinn_ is hot as hell!" ,,I'm not that into crazy women, you know?" ,,I bet, you aren't. Anyway, what are you reading there?" ,, _The Witch of Portobello_ by Paulo Coelho, who also wrote my favorite novel, by the way." ,,Let me guess – _The Alchemist_?" ,,How do you know that?", asks Roy with a surprised look.

,,Intuition", retorts Lan Fan relaxedly. ,,I see. But what about you?" ,,What about me?" ,,Are you well-read?" ,,Yes. I read many books. Mostly by German, Russian, British and Latin authors. Hell, I even read some bullshit by Platon." ,,How come?" ,,I wanted to be intellectual. I even took notes and stuff. But the truth is that I hated being intellectual. It was exhausting as fuck."

Roy answers with amused laughter. ,,What, huh?", asks Lan Fan with a cheeky smirk. ,,Nothing. But you're quite entertaining, young Lady." ,,Wow. Good to know that I – while failing at being intellectual – am at least qualified to become a comedian. Too bad that men prefer women who laugh about their jokes and not the other way around." ,,Says who?" ,,I say that."

,,Well, you're wrong. And oblivious. For all I know you have at least two male admirers. I mean, isn't that even the reason why Winry and you -?" ,,No, I am the reason." ,,What happened?", asks Roy cautiously. ,,I'm jealous of her." ,,How come?" ,,Well. She's Winry and I'm not. Whatever. That's why I made out with Kimblee in the first place."

,,I see... And then you fell in love with him, didn't you?" ,,Maybe. Maybe not. It doesn't matter anyhow since he'd always put Winry first. And so would Ed, Ling and basically every other guy in this goddamn city. Part of me probably just tried to befriend Envy because of his promising name. Anyway. I'm tired of pitying myself. However, I'm not ready to befriend Winry yet." ,,Why not?"

,,Because as long as I'm not happy, I won't be able to tolerate her _Winryness_. And Winry doesn't deserve a jealous and hostile _friend_ like that." ,,So? You're hinging your happiness on men?" ,,Well. I've already tried to hinge it on friendships, family boundaries, intellectualism and drugs. Since my talents are limited, my only options left are a possible career and – you guessed it – men."

,,What's wrong with the career-thing?" ,,Counter question – what's wrong with the men-thing? I mean, being sort of addicted to them doesn't make me a pathetic anti-feminist. For fuck's sake, I just want to get banged for once in my life. Preferably by someone who's hot, intelligent, humorous and _not_ already addicted to one of the girls I know. Seriously, is that too much to ask for?"

Although Lan Fan's voice sounds relaxed, Roy can tell by her look that she is actually sort of frustrated. ,,Listen, Lan Fan. I'm sorry that you're feeling this way. Especially, because I'm sure that you know full well that you're wrong anyhow. Still, in case you should actually believe what you're saying – just go ahead and do it." ,,Do _what_?" ,,Search for someone who's willing to..."

,,Yes...?", asks Lan Fan with a teasing smirk. ,,Come on, stop messing with your math teacher, you crazy girl", chuckles Roy amusedly. Lan Fan chuckles, too. Striking a more serious note, she then responds: ,,You're right, though. Which is why I'm going to leave now. But beforehand..." Roy answers with an inquiring look. ,,I have to tell you something..."

,,Which is...?", asks Roy cautiously. ,,Promise that you won't -" ,,Don't worry. Your secret will be safe, Lan Fan." Lan Fan nods slowly. But then: ,,She's pregnant." ,,Who? Winry? I know that already." ,,No, not Winry." Lan Fan reaches into her pocket, takes the ring box out of it and slides it over the table. Roy is visibly shocked. Lan Fan does not dare to say a word.

Instead, she quietly heads for the door when Roy suddenly rises to speak again: ,,Hey! You can't just leave like that!" ,,What do you want me to do...?", asks Lan Fan in an uncharacteristically soft tone. Roy discreetly gulps. ,,Tell me what you know...! In detail...!" Lan Fan hesitates. But eventually she sits down. ,,I don't know that much... But I do know that she's been pregnant on New Year's Eve..."

,,So, it isn't clear whether she has already -?" ,,Gotten rid of it? No. But I don't think so." ,,What if it's her fiancé's...?" ,,Well that's quite improbable since she asked us all to keep her pregnancy a secret from him. Allegedly because she's superstitious but seriously, who is she trying to fool?" Roy is speechless. ,,I'm sorry...", murmurs Lan Fan who regrets her last mostly sarcastic remark.

Once again, she heads for the door. However, Roy is not ready to let her go yet: ,,Why haven't you told me about it earlier...?" Lan Fan does not turn around while answering: ,,Because you probably would have kicked me out and yesterday, I just haven't been ready to go yet." ,,How selfish..." ,,I know. I guess that's something we have in common, Mr. Mustang." And just like that, she leaves...

OOO

In the early evening, Trisha is cooking in the kitchen of the Bradley house when Lust hesitatingly enters the room, asking: ,,Hey, Trish. Can I talk to you for a sec?" ,,Sure! Take a seat, my dear!", offers Trisha with an angelic smile. Lust nods silently before sitting down on the kitchen chair. ,,How can I help you?" ,,Um... Ed said that you weren't angry when he told you about..."

,,Yes...?" ,,My mother and your fiancé..." Trisha discreetly gulps. ,,Right... So...?", she then asks quietly. ,,Well, you know...? Someone I love has harmed someone else I also happen to love... For no reason... And when I asked that first somebody to make it up to the other person, he just denied... As if I meant nothing to him... So what am I supposed to do now...?"

Trisha does not answer right away which is why Lust rises to speak again: ,,You see? The funny thing is that I actually own something that would definitely force the first person to do what's right. And what's even better is that nobody – not even the mean guy – would get harmed. So what I'm asking you is this – does the end justify the means?" Trisha clearly does not know what to say.

Therefore, she just cautiously asks: ,,Are you sure that nobody would get harmed?" Lust hesitates. ,,Yes." Silence. But then: ,,Well... If so, I guess you should at least give it a try..." Once again, silence. However, this time it is Lust who eventually breaks it: ,,I thank you, Trisha...! For your advise and for having empathy with mother...!" Trisha smiles angelically, yet weakly...

OOO

A few minutes later, Solf, Sloth, Greed, Pride and even Envy are taking a seat at the dining table whereas King is just about to get up from the chair in his home office when Lust suddenly enters the room without knocking on the door beforehand. ,,Father, we need to talk!" ,,Now is not a good time, Solaris. The others are already waiting for us."

,,Let them wait. This conversation won't last long anyhow." Wrath hesitates. But after a few seconds, he sits down, folds his hands and asks: ,,Why don't you sit down?" But Lust does not take a seat. ,,You see, father? I'm not Sloth." ,,Yes, I know that full well." ,,Good. Because that automatically means that I will no longer be willing to tolerate your unfair actions."

King is visibly scandalised. Yet he does not interrupt her. ,,I know exactly what happened last night. Because guess what – I'm the person who's responsible for everything. But since you can't prove that, you won't be able to win this battle. Thus, you better should employ Mr Havoc. You have time until tomorrow. Otherwise, I'm going to publish _these_." Harshly, she puts an envelope on the desk.

Wrath is stunned. Even though his hands are shaking _wrathfully_ , he somehow manages to open the envelope. However, after having seen the content of that envelope, his wrath instantly turns into bemusement. Right now, he's holding two pictures in his hands. One of them shows him in a bed of a hotel room, half-naked and surrounded by prostitutes.

The other one is quite similar, except he's lying there along with an also half-naked boy: Kimblee. ,,Don't worry. Nothing happened between you and him. Or between you and those tramps. It's all staged. God, I wish I was familiar with Photoshop, that definitely would have spared me a lot of effort. But hey, what's done cannot be undone. Am I right? _Father_?" Deafening silence.

It takes Wrath forever to finally formulate an answer: ,,You are right... It cannot... Congratulations... You won this so-called _battle_... But just so you know... You lost your father at the same time..." Lust discreetly gulps. ,,Tell Mr Havoc he can start working tomorrow... And with that being said -", continues King calmly. ,,Get out of _my_ house and _never_ return!", he commands with composure...

OOO

When Lust exits the home office, she grabs her suitcases that are leaning against the wall and loudly stomps downstairs where the others are watching her with confused miens. ,,Where on earth is she going?", asks Pride with a raised eyebrow. No one answers him. Because no one, except for Envy, does know the answer. Meanwhile, Trisha is mentally slapping herself...

OOO

Two hours later, Roy and Jean are sitting quietly in their kitchen. Winry is already sleeping. Before she went to bed, both of them were sort of feeling obliged to act as if they were still best friends. But now that they are alone, they keep on saying nothing to each other. _,,Just tell him about Sloth's pregnancy, you ignorant bastard!"_ , grunts someone in Roy's head who sounds exactly like Edward.

And just when Roy is about to listen to the voice in his head, Jean gets a message all of a sudden. Roy can tell by his look that this message somehow must be important. Yet he does not dare to ask any questions. Even when Jean abruptly gets up from his chair and heads for the door without even grabbing his jacket, Roy remains silent...

OOO

It takes Jean nothing more than just a few seconds to enter the basement where Lust is already waiting for him. ,,Solaris...! What happened...?" ,,Like I said... I have good news..." ,,I know and -" ,,Father changed his mind", she interrupts. ,,Therefore, you're not jobless anymore", she continues. Jean is visibly puzzled.

,,No way...!", he murmurs. ,,No freaking way!", he repeats joyfully and just hugs her all of a sudden. Lust smiles angelically. But Jean cannot see it. ,,I have to thank him! And -!" ,,No, you can't do that...!" ,,What? Why not?", asks Jean with a confused look, yet with a boyish smirk on his face. Lust does not answer.

Only now does Jean notice the suitcases. ,,Oh my... What have you done, Solaris...?" ,,Trust me. You don't want to know", answers Lust dryly, yet with a sad look. ,,Yes, I do...!" ,,Well... I had to choose between him and you... And I did choose... But as a consequence, I got _banished from the kingdom_..." Jean is both speechless and motionless.

But then, all of a sudden, he starts kissing her. And not only does Lust return the kiss, but she also takes down his tracksuit trousers and his boxers. Within seconds, Jean presses her back against the wall, takes down her tights as well as her panties and grabs one of her legs so he can penetrate her fast and deeply.

Instead of kissing, they now moan lasciviously into each other's mouths until they finally come. Still breathing hard, they look each other straight in the eye until Jean gently kisses her forehead, pulls his trousers up, grabs her suitcases and heads for the basement's entrance. Lust still breathes hard. Yet, she somehow manages to smile. It is a smile full of love...

OOO

,,Wait, so you didn't ask anybody about Lust's sudden _exodus_? Not even Mr. Bradley?", asks Ed with a surprised look. Right now, he, Alphonse and Trisha are sitting in their kitchen and having dinner. ,,Especially not him!" ,,Why not, mom?", asks Alphonse. ,,Well... Because chances are that all of this is my fault...", murmurs Trisha. ,,What do you mean...?", asks Ed cautiously.

Only after a short silent period does Trisha answer: ,,She spoke in riddles and I kind of advised her to go ahead with her plan. I thought that she was talking about two people at school and not about..." ,,Mr. Bradley and Mr. Havoc?", asks Alphonse who has also just happened to solve the riddle. Trisha does not answer verbally. Instead, she just nods silently.

,,What a bastard!", hisses Ed all of a sudden. ,,Edward, please -!", begins Trisha, however she gets interrupted by him: ,,No, mom! Don't defend him! Him, the man who has made dozens of mistakes in his life and yet has the stomach to banish his own daughter just because she's fallen in love with an older man!" ,,But Edward! He is her teacher!", argues Trisha.

,,Who cares? At least, he's not a murderer or something! He's actually a good guy! Besides, those two clearly love each other! And nothing else matters! I mean why are you tolerating Kimblee's crimes but not a damn relationship, huh?", hisses Edward. ,,Honey, I -" ,,What if she was in a relationship with a girl instead, huh?", he then asks out of the blue.

,,To be honest, I have no idea how her father -" Once again, Ed energically interrupts his mother: ,,Forget that hypocrite! I rather want to know your opinion! I mean, you clearly don't support Lust's relationship with Mr. Havoc but what if I she was gay? Or Solf? What if he was gay?" Trisha is speechless. Because right now, she is just unable to cope with all these seemingly random questions.

Deafening silence. But then, all of a sudden, Edward starts chuckling softly. ,,I knew it...", he whispers. And then – instead of awaiting a reaction – the sixteen-year-old, who has just outed himself indirectly, gets up, grabs his jacket and exits the flat. Trisha and Alphonse are both stunned at that very moment...

OOO

When Edward walks through his living street he listens to Lana Del Rey's _Playing Dangerous_. During the second refrain, he suddenly gets a text from Envy: _,,Prepare the contract. I'll sign it and then we're going to play dangerous, you naughty boy ;)"_ Edward holds his breath for a few seconds before finally typing the following answer with shaking hands: _,,I'm in!"_

 **Thank you so much for reading and also for reviewing! (:**

 **For the rest: Next chapter will be named after Lana's song** ** _Strange Love_**

 **Kisses, PinkChocolateGlitter (;**


	33. Strange Love

**Disclaimer: I don't own the mentioned brand names, the song titles and I also don't own Fullmetal Alchemist (c'est dommage...)!**

 **Information:**

Before we move to the real story, I want to explain a few things ahead, that don't need to be necessarily read but I personally feel like they could be sort of important to the readers.

Content: Moments of realisations.

Character: _Special Guest Star_ Doctor Knox.

Location: The pub that will be mentioned several times is the same one as in the series. The one where Maes and Roy are having drinks (I think in the FMA-03-version?).

Allusion: Remember how Brotherhood-Roy hugs a girl by the name of Vanessa? And that Brotherhood-Kimblee has a photographic memory? And Knox's son? Good (:

Everything is said for now, so let's move to the story!

 **\- Chapter 33: Strange Love -**

,,Wait, so you took a picture of your father and some prostitutes in order to blackmail him?", asks Winry in a whisper when she, Lust, Lan Fan and Edward are having lunch together in the school canteen on Monday. ,,Precisely", answers Lust with a triumphant smirk. ,,Damn, that's gross. And so _Bradley_ ", remarks Lan Fan dryly. Lust chuckles amusedly.

With a reprehensive look on her face, Winry rises to speak this time: ,,Hey, that's not funny at all, Lust! I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm very grateful for what you've done for my brother but he's still your father!" ,,Hey, don't you get it, girl? Lust has already tried to be polite but that didn't work out", grunts Lan Fan. ,,Stop yelling at me, okay?", hisses Winry. But Lan Fan just rolls her eyes.

All of a sudden, Ling Greed, who has just come out of nowhere, also takes a seat at their table. ,,Hallo Jesus, Mary Magdalene, Mary, the holy virgin and Winry." ,,Hallo, Judas", retorts Lan Fan with composure. ,,Wait, why don't I get a name, too?", asks Winry sarcastically. ,,Because Greed doesn't know more than those three", answers Lust with a teasing smirk.

,,Hats off, sis. You look very good for someone who has just been banished. Either way, I'm very proud of you." ,,Of course you are", hisses Lust with a rather disdainful smirk this time. ,,Seriously, though. How come?", asks Greed nonchalantly. ,,She helped my brother!", interposes Winry. ,,Winry, don't", whispers Lust.

,,So you finally accepted her as your future sister-in-law, huh?", asks Ling Greed with a nasty smirk. Winry does not answer at first. But then: ,,Hey... You won't tell anybody about that incident, will you...? Because my brother's friends have already agreed on keeping the other staff members as well as the pupils out of it...!"

Once again, Ling Greed rises to speak: ,,Hey, don't worry. No one is going to tell anybody that your brother is a child molester. You know worse secrets than that concerning our family, remember?" Winry answers with an angry look. ,,Besides. If any, I'm going to punish the princess and not one of you outcasts", adds Ling Greed, still with composure.

,,What about Kimblee?", asks Lust straightforward. ,,What about him?", asks Greed relaxedly. ,,Will he cause trouble...?", asks Winry cautiously. ,,He said no when I asked him the same question. But since it's Kimblee we're talking about, you can never know. Thus, I strongly advise you girls to stay away from him", retorts Greed before addressing himself to Lan Fan: ,,Except for you."

Lan Fan is visibly surprised. ,,He wants to talk to you. I said, I'd tell you this in case I should see you first", continues Greed. Then he addresses himself to Winry, who is obviously not happy at that very moment: ,,Don't be sad, you godlike creature. Because there's also someone who wants to talk to you. You can find Alphonse behind the canteen." Winry answers with an inquiring look.

,,Excuse me, guys", she murmurs and then leaves. ,,Uh and Kimblee is in the car park, by the way", adds Greed and darts a condescending glance at Lan Fan. She hesitates. But then she leaves, too. ,,Very good. Now it's your turn, mate." Edward answers with a confused look which is why Greed rises to speak again: ,,Al asked me whether you'd spent the night at our place, you know?"

,,Wait, so you didn't sleep at home, Ed?", asks Lust with a surprised look. ,,Hey, I didn't sleep at all, okay? Instead, I took a long walk through our godawful city", grunts Ed. ,,What happened?", asks Ling Greed with composure. Ed answers with a meaningful look. ,,Uh. I see", replies Greed dryly. ,,How did they react?", asks Lust cautiously.

,,Unfortunately, they didn't react at all", grunts Edward. ,,Blow. But hey, don't worry, mate. You can move into Lust's old room if you like", offers Ling Greed nonchalantly. ,,Shut up, bloody bastard!", hisses Lust with a grumpy look, yet with an amused smirk. And even Edward can't hold back an amused smirk at that moment...

OOO

Kimblee is smirking too when he sees Lan Fan exiting the building. ,,Nice to see you, love." ,,You wanna talk to me?", she asks sharply. ,,Yes. Because I'd love to settle an outstanding score." ,,Wow. Every time you open your mouth, I can see a mafioso standing infront of me." ,,And I see a frustrated virgin who wants to get fucked hard", retorts Solf with a nasty smirk.

,,Right. But not by you", clarifies Lan Fan dryly. ,,Ouch. Anyway, that's not what I wanted to talk about." ,,If so, I'm all ears." ,,Well. I just want to remind you of that bet I've lost." ,,Wow. You've got a short memory there." ,,Yes but on the other hand, I have a long -" ,,No. Just no, Kimblee." ,,Virgins and their dirty minds. Who says that I was referring to my penis, huh?"

Lan Fan does not answer at first. But then: ,,Tomorrow, you're going to be my slave for one day." Kimblee raises an eyebrow. ,,And once you'll have settled your score, we'll stay away from each other. For good. Deal, Kimblee?" Deafening silence. But then, he extends his hand to her. ,,Deal, love." Lan Fan hesitates before eventually taking his hand...

OOO

In the evening, Maes and Roy are having a drink in their favourite pub. ,,So Edward told you everything, huh...?" Roy nods silently. ,,But don't worry. He won't tell anybody else about that. I'm the only person. Probably because he's considering me to be your best friend. Actually, that's what I was thinking, too."

Maes chuckles quietly. ,,Edward Elric is a clever boy", he then murmurs before taking another sip. ,,And you're way too sensitive, fellow." ,,Stop talking nonsense, Hughes! This is not about sensitivity, this is about trust!" ,,Is that why you never told me about your affair with my neighbour?", retorts Maes with a weak smirk. Roy is visibly puzzled. ,,How do you know that...?"

,,So it's true, huh?" Roy does not answer. Because right now he's not even sure whether Maes is talking about his affair with Lust or about his one-night stand with Sloth. ,,Shame on you, Roy. She's engaged", mutters Maes before taking another sip. Roy discreetly gulps. ,,How did you find out...?" ,,Do you remember that nightmare you had? The one with the woman you burnt alive?"

,,Damn you, Hughes", whispers Roy before taking another sip. ,,I know, I know. Trust me, I also wish that I wasn't such a genius, fellow", retorts Maes dryly. Roy does not answer at first. But then: ,,I wanted to tell you about it. But I didn't want to put you in a difficult position. Armstrong is your best friend." ,,So are you." ,,I know but -" ,,Tell me what happened", interrupts Maes.

Roy sighs. However, after a while, he finally answers: ,,She and I dated in the past..." ,,I know, you've already told me about that ages ago. I mean, I even tried to pair you off with Trisha Elric, remember?" ,,Whatever. I've never told you how our _relationship_ ended, have I?" ,,I'm all ears, fellow." ,,Juliet and I never had sex back then. I thought that she wasn't interested, so..."

,,You moved on?" ,,Well. There was this girl. Vanessa, I think. No big deal." Roy takes another sip. ,,Unfortunately, Juliet didn't put it that way. She was angry, to say the least. She said things, you would never expect to hear from such a well-behaved British lady. She even mentioned that her father would never support our relationship." ,,Why? Because you're American?"

,,Because I'm just a teacher." ,,Ouch. Anyway, what happened afterwards?" ,,The summer was over. The schools opened. And I focused on my _worthless_ job whereas she started to date Alex. She fell in love with him and everything has been perfect. Until last November. She and Alex argued over Solf's deed. Frankly, I don't remember the details. But apparently, Alex believed in his innocence."

,,And we both know how prejudice-ridden our little _Miss Perfect_ can be at times." ,,Well. To be honest, I couldn't blame her. Anyways. That day, I caught her doing the same stupid thing she'd used to do in the past whenever she'd been unhappy." ,,Self-induced vomitting?" ,,Precisely. I caught her at school, right after work. We spent the rest of the day together. Part of it in the _Rush Valley Inn_..."

,,Wait, are we seriously talking about that doss house in Dublith?", asks Maes with a puzzled look. Roy laughs quietly. ,,Hell... She threw up at work, she drank cheap alcohol, she even cheated on her damn fiancé – and all of that in only one freaking day... That woman wasn't Juliet Sloth Bradley... That woman must have been her evil twin or something... And anyone else would have seen that..."

,,Why haven't you seen it, Roy...?" ,,That doesn't matter. What's done can't be undone." ,,What exactly are you referring to...?" ,,Well... Let's just say, that she's not the only one with a twin. Problem is that my twin is rather foolish than evil..." ,,And what did that foolish twin of yours do...?" ,,He slept with her sister, to begin with." ,,Holy smoke, Roy..."

,,That's not even the worst part. Because beforehand he'd bought a ring. A house. A _nothing_. _Needless to say_ – she doesn't have the slightest clue. Uh and by the way – she's pregnant." ,,You've gotta be kidding me...!", whispers Maes with a stunned mien. Roy does not answer. Instead he just takes another sip. ,,Say, is that the reason why you want to become the next headmaster...?"

,,Yes and no. I mean, come on. You know me, Hughes." ,,Not really", retorts Maes sarcastically, yet with a smirk on his face. Roy answers with a dry look. ,,But seriously, you have to do something about it!" ,,No. She's engaged to my friend, remember?" ,,Hey, I'm not the one who's forgotten about that _tiny detail_." Roy does not answer. Instead, he takes one more sip.

,,I need another drink", he decides on a whim. ,,Count me out. Elicia's workshop will finish soon." ,,What is it this time?", asks Roy who knows full well that workshops are Elicia's favourite hobby. ,,Origami." ,,Impressing", remarks Roy sincerely. ,,I know right? Anyway, I should go now. And you shouldn't drink too much, fellow." ,,Bye, Hughes", grunts Roy. Maes chuckles amusedly.

,,Hey, barkeeper. The usual, please", orders Roy in a masterful tone, before Maes has even left the pub. ,,Sorry, Mister. I have no idea what that means. It's my first day, you know?", retorts a familiar voice behind him. Roy can't believe his ears and eyes: ,,Lan Fan?" ,,Do you mind? It's _Miss Chang_ , teacher." ,,That's all we needed. Seriously, what are you doing here?" ,,I'm working."

,,Very funny. Besides, aren't you underage?" ,,Asks the teacher who's banged his student." ,,For God's sake, just spare me your stupid jokes, okay? I'm not in the mood." ,,Ouch. But hey, if it's any comfort to you – my life sucks, too", retorts Lan Fan dryly and takes a seat next to him. ,,Um. I really don't want to sound rude but don't you have to work? I mean, you've already lost two jobs."

,,The third time's the charm." ,,I'm definitely not drunk enough to stand that", mutters Roy sarcastically. ,, _Here_. It's on the house." Roy hesitates. But then he just shrugs and takes the full glass she's handing over to him. After having taken his first sip, he commands: ,,Speak!" ,,Kimblee is going to be my slave tomorrow." ,,How come?", asks Roy, who is obviously not surprised at all.

,,He lost a bet." ,,What was it about?" ,,My virginity." ,,Wow. What a messed up generation", remarks Roy dryly. ,,Oh come fucking on. You slept with your student, so did Havoc, Sloth doesn't know how to contracept and Scar's best friend is fifteen", retorts Lan Fan with composure. Silence. But then: ,,Checkmate."

Roy takes another sip. ,,Whatever. Tell me what you're going to do to him." ,,Wow. You really hate him, don't you?" ,,I don't hate people. If any, I _despise_ them. Which I do. He has abandoned a pregnant girl after all." ,,Well, apparently he's not the only one. Besides, he didn't abandon Winry. Winry abandoned him." ,,Seriously, young Lady. You of all people shouldn't defend him."

,,Why not?" ,,Because sooner or later he'll break your heart, too. I mean, hasn't he done that already?" ,,Who cares? I'm done with boys like him. Fuck it, I'm done with boys in general." ,,Did _Fullmetal_ inspire you?" ,,Okay, first off – homophobia definitely doesn't look good on you. Second off – I'm not bisexual. All I'm saying is that I'm done with boys. Not with _men_."

Roy answers with a look she cannot interpret. ,,I see. Lust is the one who's inspired you then." ,,Nicely said." ,,Well. That must be your most foolish idea ever. And you even made out with Kimblee and Greed." ,,Correction, teacher. I said no to Ling and yes to Kimblee and Edward. But in case one of those two should ask me again, I'd say no to them, too. These are just boys. Not men."

,,So what? You are just a girl. Not a woman", retorts Roy with a playful smirk. ,,How ironic, Mr. Mustang. I mean, I could swear that this is the same nonsense you'd said to Lust before you penetrated her like a predator", whispers Lan Fan with a provoking look. Roy, who has just realised that she's absolutely right, is absolutely speechless. But then: ,,Fortunately, that person is dead."

,,Is that so, Mr. Mustang?", asks Lan Fan with a nasty smirk before she suddenly starts touching his thigh. And Roy does not even prevent her from slowly touching his crotch, too. ,,It seems to me that he is very much _alive_ ", whispers Lan Fan into his ear. ,,Come on, just be a man and fuck me already!", she commands, her look downright horny. Roy gulps. Less discreetly than intended.

Suddenly, his phone starts ringing, which causes her to startle a little. Roy abruptly gets up, takes his phone and heads for a dark corner while pressing the green button. _,,Roy, where are you? We're hungry! But we can wait for you, if you like. Or do you already have other plans?"_ Silence. _,,Roy?"_ , asks Jean. ,,I'll come, I mean, I'll come as soon as possible!", announces Roy nervously...

OOO

In the meantime, Edward who has been sleeping for hours on a bed in one of the hotel rooms of the _Rush Valley Inn**_ , starts from his sleep when his mobile phone starts vibrating in his hand. Drowsily, he reads the text: _,,Where can I find you?"_ Rather nervously this time, he types the following answer: _,,RVI. Same room as Saturday. Don't forget to bring a sheet and a pen."_

OOO

Almost thirty minutes later, the British pizza delivery boy Denny Brosh, who is wearing a hoody with a picture of his favourite rapper Eminem printed on it, knocks on flat 3a's door. Kain opens it, his look shy, his glasses slightly askew. ,,Good evening. I heard that someone here ordered some hot stuff", snickers Denny. Kain blushes. Especially, when his secret boyfriend kisses him on the lips.

Suddenly, they hear footsteps on the stairs which is why Denny abruptly removes his lips from Kain's and stammers: ,,Um...! Here's the bill...!" Kain hectically searches for some bank notes in his pocket and hands them over to Denny. ,,K-keep the ch-change!", stutters Kain. ,,Thanks!", answers Denny with a sheepish smile. Then, he quickly adjusts his cap before stumbling downstairs...

OOO

,,First off – the next three months will stay a secret between the two of us!", begins Ed. ,,Well. Unlike you, I can keep my mouth shut, you know?", retorts Envy with a mocking smirk. ,,Still! Write it down, Envy!" Envy rolls his eyes. Yet he obeys. ,,Second off – no costumes! So no latex suits, high heels or whatever the fuck!" ,,What about masks? Or ties that can be used as cords?"

,,Masks and ties are okay. I'm also fine with handcuffs, cords, belts and whips. But no cellotape, no chains and _no_ electroshocks! Or in short – nothing more than masks, ties, handcuffs, cords, belts and whips!" ,,Pussy." ,,Write – it – down!" Once again, Envy rolls his eyes. And once again, he obeys. ,,Also, you won't be allowed to put things into my body orifices. Just your penis, your hand."

,,How about my fist?" ,,How about my fist, Envy?" ,,Message arrived", hisses Envy. ,,So much for the toys. Did I forget anything important?" ,,Hell yes. Blindfolding, for instance." ,,Accepted. What else?" ,,Gags." ,,Accepted. Go on." ,,Fine. What about hanging down from the ceiling?" Ed hesitates. But then: ,,Accepted." ,,Good boy", whispers Envy with a devious smirk.

Ed gulps. ,,Go on, Envy...!" ,,Okay, I think it's time to talk about names." ,,Uh, right. No insults concerning my...!" ,,Yes?" ,,Height...!" Envy can't hold back a brief chuckle. ,,Envy!", grunts Ed. ,, _Shhh_! I'm writing, _pipsqueak_!" Ed bares his teeth. ,,Done. Uh and just so you know – you'll have to call me _Dominus_." ,,Are you serious?", asks Ed boastfully. ,, _Write_ – _it_ – _down_!"

,,Fine", grunts Ed and writes it down. ,,What else?" ,,Well. We haven't talked about weapons yet." ,,What the...? Okay, let me get this straight! Methods, toys, words or other things that are _not_ mentioned in the contract won't be tolerated! Including peeing and also all types of weapons, except for whips!" Envy hesitates. But then, he writes it down. ,,Now, let's talk about the biting."

,,I'll bite you wherever I want!" ,,Except for my penis and my tongue! Also, I won't allow you to do harm to my head! Others are going to notice the injuries! So no _head-banging_!" ,,Fine with me. So was that it?" ,,I think so. Why?" ,,Well, I ask you to stick to certain rules, too." ,,Shoot!", hisses Ed. ,,Okay, so first of all – I ask you to braid your hair so I can pull it easier!" Ed discreetly gulps.

,,Okay...", he then murmurs and writes it down. ,,Good boy. Moreover, you won't be allowed to talk, unless I ask you a question. So no bold answers and no back talk." Ed hesitates. But then he writes it down before asking the following question: ,,What about the safe word?" ,, _Green_ means go and _red_ means stop." ,,Okay, got it. So that's it, I guess?"

,,Not yet", answers Envy sharply. Edward answers with an inquiring and also slightly nervous look. ,,I also ask you to stick to one more rule." ,,What rule...?", asks Edward, less intimidatingly than intended. Without any prior warning, Envy suddenly grasps his nape, whispering: ,, _No one else but me_ will be allowed to touch you from now on until your birthday in three months!"

Edward gulps. ,,What about you...?", he then asks hesitatingly. ,,What about me, huh? I'm the dominant one which means I'm free to fuck whoever I want!", clarifies Envy in a whisper. Edward does not answer. Instead, he just writes it down. ,,Good boy. Now sign it."

Deafening silence. But then: ,,No...! Not today...! We'll sign those tomorrow...!" Only now does Envy realise what day it is which is why he abruptly removes his hand from Edward's nape. ,,I see", he then answers sharply before getting up from the bed and leaving the room without awaiting an answer. Edward sighs. Then he takes his smartphone in order to call his brother...

OOO

Two hours later, Edward, Alphonse and Trisha sit down on their kitchen chairs and say nothing to each other. Neither have they said a word to each other when they met at the graveyard nor on their drive home. _,,Damn you, mouth! Split out some words, already! At least one random word! Don't you get that my mother and my little brother need you?"_

His stream of thought gets abruptly interrupted by the doorbell. ,,I'll go", announces Alphonse quietly. Nobody answers. Instead, mother and the second oldest son continue their _hush battle_. However, when Al enters the kitchen with Kimblee of all people, Trisha finally rises to speak: ,,Solf...! You...?" Ed too is visibly surprised.

,,Yes. I'm sorry that I didn't come earlier. I've been working the entire day and -" All of a sudden, Trisha hugs him tenderly which is why Solf abruptly falls silent. ,,Come, take a seat!", offers Trisha with a motherly smile. Kimblee nods and sits down. Secretly, he decides to avoid eye contact with Ed. Ed, on the other hand, sighs with relief while nobody is looking. He's off the hook. For now...

OOO

,,Just so you know. This wasn't my idea", clarifies Solf with a look that is both relaxed and embarrassed. Right now, he and Ed are entering his room. ,,Hey, I was in the room with you when our mother offered you to stay, remember?", asks Ed, less jokingly and more grumpily than intended. ,,Still. I can go back to the Bradley house if you want me to", offers Solf half-heartedly.

Ed hesitates. But then: ,,To be honest, your timing couldn't be better..." ,,Is that so?", asks Solf with composure. ,,Yeah... I um... Sort of told them about my... You know..." ,,How come? Did _Mr Fifty Shades of Green_ blackmail you or something?" ,,Nope. I was ranting out about Lust's relationship with Havoc and about unconventional relationships in general and so on."

,,And let me guess. You – hotheaded as ever – ran off without awaiting an answer." ,,Um... Yeah..." ,,Now what? Are you going to avoid them until you'll turn eighteen?" Ed does not answer. Instead he unskilfully changes the subject: ,,Hey, you won't take revenge on Lust, will you?" Kimblee raises an eyebrow. ,,What the bloody hell was that?", he then asks with composure.

,,Whatcha mean, huh?" ,,Your miserable change of subject." ,,Would you mind answering my question already?", grunts Ed impatiently. Solf rolls his eyes. ,,All I know is that she decided to drug me for some reason." ,,Aren't you curious?" ,,You mean sceptical?" Edward nods. ,,I am, on the one hand. But on the other hand, I couldn't care less."

,,I don't believe a word of it, _Kimblee_!", hisses Edward. ,,If you say so." ,,No, I mean it! There's no way you're going to accept it without protest!" ,,Protest, huh?" ,,Fine! _Revenge_!" ,,Okay, now you're being unfair. When have I ever sought revenge?" Edward does not know what to say. Because secretly, he couldn't agree more...

OOO

On Tuesday, Edward sneaks out of his flat early in the morning as if he was somebody's one-night stand. On the stairs, he meets Lan Fan. ,,You've gotta be kidding me", she mutters grumpily. Lan Fan is definitely not one of these early-morning persons. And neither is Edward: ,,Likewise." ,,Come on, let's smoke a cigarette so we can... Sorry, what was I just saying...?" ,,Good question..."

OOO

A few minutes later, they enter the back courtyard and then light up a cigarette. ,,How come, huh?", yawns Edward. ,,I came home a few hours ago, quickly took a shower, got dressed and here I fucking am. What about you?" ,,I'm avoiding my family." ,,Wow. That must be some sort of a Hohenheim-tradition."

,,But my last name is Elric! And _his_ is Kimblee!" ,,And just like that he's fully awake." ,,Lan Fan!", grunts Ed. ,,Hey, I know that your last name is Elric, okay? I just wanted to outline the difference between the three of you and the other two. You know? Al and your mom." ,,Damn, why do people keep saying that Kimblee and I -?" ,,Because you just are. Deal with it." ,,Bitch." ,,Boo, Ed."

,,Whatever. He crashed at our place, by the way." ,,How come?" Ed answers with a meaningful look. ,,Fuck, damnit...! Your father's day of...! I'm so sorry, I forgot for a split second...!" ,,It's okay. He wasn't your father. He was Al's and my dad. And also... _His_..." ,,Hey, just say his name, he's not Voldemort." ,,It's not that easy! I mean, nobody calls him Solf. But Kimblee would be wrong, too..."

,,Why don't you just call him _drongo_?", asks Lan Fan with a mocking smirk. ,,Hey, Lan Fan. You're totally enjoying it, aren't you?", asks Ed with a slightly disdainful look. ,,A little. But then again, I'm not which is why I'll try to fix things today." ,,How? And why today?" ,,Never mind. Tell me why you're avoiding your family this time." ,,Because they know that I'm not straight." ,,So what?"

,,I'm... Sort of afraid of their reaction..." ,,Well, if so you should probably take the next bus to Wellesley. That way you can avoid them until the evening." ,,And what about you?" ,,I can't. May needs my help for something." ,,What is it?" ,,I don't know. But I'm sure it has something to do with pink pandas and Lady Gaga." ,,That doesn't make any sense", remarks Ed dryly. Lan Fan shrugs...

OOO

Edward indeed takes the next bus to school whereas Lan Fan waits infront of the door of flat 1b for a while before she spontaneously decides to call Solf. _,,Sadist."_ ,,Good morning to you, too. Is everyone already like _ready, steady, go_?" _,,If you're asking whether they're already having breakfast, then yes."_ ,,Good. See you soon. Or now." _,,What do you -?"_

Kimblee abruptly falls silent, when he realises that it is her who has just rung the doorbell. ,,Bye, love", chuckles Lan Fan and hangs up only one second before Alphonse opens the door. ,,Lan Fan...?" ,,Yes. I don't mean to bother you but I have to talk to you. It's about your brother." Al answers with an inquiring look. ,,Come in, please!", he offers gently, yet with a worried mien.

,,Lan Fan...?", asks Trisha with a surprised look. ,,Good morning", she adds with an angelic smile. ,,Good morning, Miss Elric. And Solf, of course." Kimblee just smirks discreetly. ,,Lan Fan says she needs to talk to us", reports Al. ,,Sure, my dear! Take a seat!", offers Trisha kindly. ,,Um, no thanks. I won't stay long. I just wanted to tell you that Ed sneaked out of his own apartment."

,,Nice. And did he also tell you why?", asks Alphonse, who is obviously a little irritated at that moment. ,,Well. Apparently, he's afraid because of what he told you, two days ago", answers Lan Fan with composure. ,,Hey, he didn't tell us anything concrete, okay?", clarifies Alphonse with an annoyed look. ,,Like I said, he's too afraid to tell you straightforward that he's...!"

Lan Fan does not dare to finish this sentence. Other than Al, who is gradually calming down: ,,Homosexual?" ,,No. Bisexual", answers Lan Fan, who is strictly avoiding eye contect at that very moment. Deafening silence. But then, Alphonse rises to speak again: ,,That's ridiculous." ,,What, his bisexuality?" ,,No, Lan Fan! His behavior! I mean, isn't he clever enough to know that..."

Al gulps and then starts anew: ,,Look, if Edward hadn't lost his mind he would have known full well about our limitless love for him! Regardless of sexuality, gender and whatsoever!" ,,Nicely said, honey", interposes Trisha with an angelic smile. ,,So, you're just disappointed because he's disappointed and not because he's bisexual...?", asks Lan Fan with a raised eyebrow.

,,Of course!", answer Trisha and Al in unison. ,,Good. If so, I can go and die of embarrassement now", announces Lan Fan dryly. ,,Hey, sweetheart! Don't you want to have breakfast with us?", asks Trisha with a motherly smile. ,,Thank you. And yes, I'd love to but I should probably try to find the only Elric whose day I haven't ruined yet. Goodbye."

And just like that, she is gone. ,,What an adorable girl", remarks Trisha with a tender smile. ,,Just like her cousin", she adds, still with the same smile on her face. ,,Adorable but also hotheaded", chuckles Alphonse. _,,And way too good for me_ ", chuckles Kimblee inwardly...

OOO

,,You have no idea how annoying it is to have an attention whore like you as a friend!", grunts Edward when he and Lan Fan are heading for the canteen around noon. ,,Sorry, okay? I just hate it when Justin Trudeau and Mother Teresa are worried about you." ,,Wait, you're comparing Al to Justin Trudeau?" Lan Fan nods.

,,Anyway. Let's just forget about it for a while and -" Edward abruptly falls silent when he suddenly sees Aoya and Selim Pride sitting on a bank outside. ,,Someone should definitely adopt that child", remarks Lan Fan relaxedly, yet with a compassionate look. ,,Mom said she'd do it but unfortunately she's too poor and too single", mutters Edward.

,,I have a better idea", announces Kimblee, who has just come out of nowhere. Still relaxedly, he then reveals his idea: ,,Ask his biological parents to accommodate him. What were their names again? Sig and Izumi Curtis?" Ed widens his eyes as well as his mouth. ,,Wait, when did you solve that riddle?", asks Lan Fan with a raised eyebrow.

,,I kept his Sensei's tragic story in mind. And I also have a photographic memory. When we saw that list with those six names on it, I memorised the places and dates of birth. And when Alphonse mentioned Mrs Curtis yesterday, I started asking questions about her son. He was born on October 27th in California." ,,And are his parents still alive according to that list?", asks Ed impatiently.

,,They are. Unlike Elicia's biological mother and father, who must have been killed by Hohenheim's sect or something", answers Kimblee. ,,Why haven't you said a word?", asks Ed angrily. ,,I had to verify one last detail first. This morning I found out that Aoya's birthday is also in November", summarises Solf with composure. ,,Holy shit. Now what?", asks Lan Fan as relaxedly as possible.

,,I'll talk to my mother so she can handle the situation!", announces Edward. ,,Hey, since when do you ask for your mom's help instead of handling situations on your own?", asks Lan Fan with a slightly surprised look. ,,Sensitive situations require sensitive participants. And I think we all know that I'm not the most sensitive person."

,,No, what we know is that you're the least sensitive person", retorts Lan Fan sarcastically. ,,Thanks", mutters Ed dryly. ,,Whatever. That's not even the main point here...", continues Ed. ,,Then what is the main point?", asks Kimblee nonchalantly. ,,Um... Well... It's just that... Our Sensei... Okay, the point is that I don't wanna mess with her! Trust me, neither would you...!"

Lan Fan is visibly surprised when she realises: ,,Wow. She must be the only person in the world that you are afraid of which means that she must be the worst." ,,No, she isn't! She's part of our family!", clarifies Edward. ,,But?", asks Lan Fan nonchalantly. ,,But she's also tough. As in all of us look like pathetic puppies compared to her", answers Ed sarcastically.

,,Crap, most of the tables are already occupied", he then realises. ,,But not all of them", whispers Lan Fan into his ear and discreetly points at the table, Winry, Kain and Lust are sitting at. ,,Cool. Let's go", decides Edward relaxedly and is just about to go when Lan Fan rises to speak again: ,,Um, you know what? Just you go, Kimblee and I will come later, okay?"

Edward hesitates and darts a sceptical glance at Lan Fan and his older brother. But then he just shrugs and heads for the table. ,,Come on, let's get out of here!", whispers Lan Fan with a conspiratorial smirk, takes Kimblee's hand and drags him out of the crowded canteen. Winry is secretly crestfallen at that moment...

OOO

After having quietly entered an empty classroom, Lan Fan nonchalantly explains: ,,Too crowded places drive me crazy." ,,Looks like you've solved that problem", retorts Solf sarcastically. ,,Right. But hey, just so you know – I didn't take you here to have..." ,,Sex with me? Don't worry, I can contain myself", answers Kimblee with an impersonal smirk.

,,Good. _Here_ ", mutters Lan Fan and hands a piece of paper over to him. ,,I wrote down the addresses and the corresponding times. There are two places I need you to be today." ,,And how am I supposed to find out what I'll have to do? Don't tell me that the _Christmas Carol_ -ghosts are going to appear and lead me." ,,Don't worry, _Ebenezer Scrooge_. You won't be lost. Uh and by the way -"

,,Yes, love?" ,,I strongly advise you to accomplish everything that's written on the list." ,,Or what, huh?", asks Kimblee with a teasing smirk. Lan Fan smirks conspiratorially. ,,You know? It wasn't Lust's idea to drug you that day. Therefore, you should never underestimate me, _love_." Kimblee is visibly puzzled. Lan Fan smirks rather triumphantly this time before exiting the room...

OOO

Edward is one of the first students who enters the room where his maths class is going to take place in a few minutes. When Envy enters the room, too, he discreetly passes Ed's desk and puts the two already signed contracts on it before heading for his own desk. Ed nervously examines them. Then he also signs them so he can give one of them to Envy later...

OOO

When Kimblee realises what Lan Fan has been up to, in the afternoon, he rolls his eyes. Yet he enters the nearly empty waiting room where he meets Maes and Winry. ,,What the hell are you doing here?", asks the pregnant seventeen-year-old who is obviously upset. In a split second, Maes grabs his book and discreetly exits the room. Thus, Solf and Winry are alone now.

,,Well. To be honest, our friend has ordered me to come here." ,,Who? Ling Greed?" ,,Lan Fan." Winry is visibly surprised. ,,I didn't know that she and I were friends. Or you and her." ,,Well. I'm beginning to think that the term _friend_ was a bold choice. Anyway, how are you?" ,,Confused...", answers Winry sincerely. ,,How many times have you been here already?"

,,This is the first time I'm going to see... _It_..." Kimblee nods silently. ,,But don't worry, you don't have to feel obliged to -" ,,I know. But I'd like to. Unless, of course, you don't want me to go inside and -" ,,No! I mean, yes! I mean...", stammers Winry before blowing out her cheeks. Only now does Solf realise for the first time how overchallenged she actually is...

OOO

When Doctor Knox of all people walks into the treatment room a few minutes after the parents-to-be have already entered it, Winry widens her eyes: ,,You?" ,,Indeed. I'm the substitute. And you are the girl who puked all over _Mickey Mouse's_ shoes, right?" ,,Oh, so you remember me? I'm flattered, Sir", retorts Winry sarcastically. ,,Touché, young Lady. And who's that? The daddy?"

,,No, he's just the _impregnator_ ", answers Winry with an insincere smirk on her face. Kimblee discreetly rolls his eyes. ,,Uh, good to know, Miss. If so, I can introduce you to my boy. A medical student. And so bloody charming that I could swear that he's not my biological son. _Here_ is a picture of him." Winry, who is visibly puzzled, takes the picture he is handing over to her.

,,So? What do you think?", asks Knox unemotionally while inserting the ultrasound transducer. Winry startles for a split second. Then she sarcastically retorts: ,,You're right, there's no way he's your biological son, Sir." Kimblee smirks amusedly. Dr. Knox, on the other hand, focuses on the display at that very moment. ,,Let's rather talk about your child", he eventually decides.

Winry holds her breath. ,,So far, everything seems to be all right", announces Doctor Knox unsentimentally and turns the display around so that Winry and Kimblee can also see it. ,,I'll give you some privacy", he adds with a serious look and then exits the room.

At that precise moment, Kimblee is sort of mesmerised and thus speechless. Winry, on the other hand, starts breathing harder all of a sudden. ,,Oh my God...! I can hear its heartbeat...! But I can't...! I can't...!" ,,Can't what?", asks Solf with composure. ,,See it...!" ,,What?" ,,I can't see it! All I can see is some random grey and white smoke! Oh my God! I'm a horrible mother!" ,,Win -"

,,I mean, I can't even see my baby! I guess that white... Thing is the baby, right?" ,,Yes, that's -" ,,Great! It looks tiny! At least now! But in a few months, that'll be over! Right, that little bastard will become big as hell and then, it's going to make me _explode_! Ha! Of course! It's yours, after all! And what if its adoptive family will abuse it? I mean, look at you! Oh my God!"

Winry widens her eyes. ,,Fuck! It's too late for an abortion! Which means you have to shove me down the stairs! I have to get rid of that _thing_!" Kimblee is speechless at that moment. Unlike Winry: ,,Wait, you're still here?" Solf answers with a confused look. ,,You don't even want this! So get out, already! Shoo!" Kimblee does not move at first. But then, he quietly exits the room...

OOO

Kimblee's second and last job is to meet Lan Fan infront of that unoccupied house, Roy has bought for Sloth. ,,You're late", she dryly remarks. ,,What is this place?", asks Kimblee with composure, his hands in his pockets. ,,That's a long story. Come on, let's go inside." ,,Excuse me?" Lan Fan rolls her eyes. ,,I know the owner, so don't worry, okay?" Solf does not react at first...

OOO

They enter the house a few seconds later. ,,Why is the door unlocked?" ,,Good question. How was your day?" ,,Good question." ,,Hey. You're obliged to answer my questions, remember?" Kimblee does not answer right away. ,,Come on, just answer me. That's your second and last order for today. For good." Deafening silence.

But then: ,,You did this to humiliate me, didn't you?" ,,What? No! I just thought you wouldn't wanna miss such an important moment!" ,,An important moment she apparently didn't want to share with me", retorts Solf with composure, even though he's secretly quite disappointed for some reason. ,,Of course, you idiot! She's just too proud to admit -!"

Only now does Kimblee raise his voice: ,,No, stop! You have no idea, okay?" ,,If so, tell me what happened", retorts Lan Fan calmly. ,,Fine! She kicked me out! Uh and she also asked me to shove her down the stairs! Me, the bloody father! Or the _impregnator_! Her words, not mine." ,,She's just been nervous, that's all." ,,No, Lan Fan! She's been a human wreck! And that's your fault!"

,,What the fuck? Hey, I'm not the person who got her pregnant, okay?" ,,Still! You ruined everything! I mean, why did you move to this country in the first place, huh?" ,,Hey, _Mr. Brexit_! You're not the only one who has family here!" ,,So what? Neither your grandfather and May nor the others want you here! You do nothing but causing trouble!"

,,Okay, when the fuck did I ever cause trouble?" ,,Uh, I love that question! Let's start with my imprisonment after Thanksgiving!" ,,Back then, I did that to protect you! Besides, someone like you definitely belongs -!" ,,Uh and then you kept distracting me." ,,Excuse me?" ,,Damn right. I was waisting my time on you and meanwhile, Edward was threwing himself at Winry."

,,And that was my fault because...?" ,,Like I said, you were keeping me busy! I bet that you and Edward did that on purpose!" ,,Okay, are we slightly paranoid?" ,,Hey, you were the one who told Lust to drug me, remember?" ,,Yes but I wasn't the one who did it in the end!" ,,Either way, you're a person who betrays family members, friends and everyone else! And only now do I realise that!"

,,Right and you're a downright angel!" ,,No, but Winry is!" ,,Wait, are you actually comparing me to her?" Kimblee smirks triumphantly when he realises how upset she is, despite her relaxed attitude. ,,Yes, I am. And you know what? You were right. None of this is your fault. It's mine. I never should have treated her like that. Because unlike you, she deserves love."

Hearing those words, she suddenly sheds a tear, despite her eagerness to suppress the urge to cry. A mocking smirk on his face, Kimblee leans forward and whispers the following words into her ear: ,,Oooh. Did I just break your non-existent heart? Don't worry. I'm sure Greed or Edward will be willing to _soothe_ you." And just like that, he leaves her... Alone...

OOO

On Wednesday, Edward walks through the school corridor, while listening to Lana Del Rey's _Strange Love_ on his Ipod. The other students are sitting in their classrooms at that moment and thus do not witness his following action: Ed cautiously shoves one of the two signed contracts into Envy's locker, followed by a note. _,,Tomorrow. Xerxes Forest. 7 p.m."_

 **Thank you so much for reading and also for reviewing! (:**

 **For the rest: Next chapter will be named after Lana's song** ** _Moi Je Joue_**

 **Kisses, PinkChocolateGlitter (;**


	34. Moi Je Joue

**Disclaimer: I don't own the mentioned brand names, the song titles and I also don't own Fullmetal Alchemist (c'est dommage...)!**

 **Information:**

Before we move to the real story, I want to explain a few things ahead, that don't need to be necessarily read but I personally feel like they could be sort of important to the readers.

Content: A secret admirer and some (potentially disturbing) lemons.

Character: _Special Guest Stars_ Sig Curtis and Izumi Curtis.

Pairing: The only two pairings you can take for granted at this point, are Mayphonse and Kain x Denny.

Allusion: I'm sure you won't miss the allusions (;

Note/Message: Thank you so much for your encouraging feedback as well as your favs and follows! I'm beyond flattered! That's why I – whenever I thought that a particular chapter might be to your liking – dedicated it to one of my reviewers. However, I won't do this any longer since all of you have already been mentioned once. I hope, that's okay (:

Everything is said for now, so let's move to the story!

 **\- Chapter 34: Moi Je Joue -**

The following weeks are quite busy: One week later, Sig and Izumi Curtis meet their son for the first time. Two weeks later, Dolcetto moves to Berlin, Paninya to Australia, Greed moves into Dolcetto's, Lust into Paninya's, Breda into Miles' and Bex into Dante's old room. Three weeks later, Maes and Elicia move to the Creta Road 17. Furthermore, King announces that he sold his house...

OOO

It is the Thursday before Valentine's Day. Nobody loves that day as much as Alex Armstrong does. Alex adores that day even more than French cuisine and ice hockey, two of the things that he also loves. ,,According to my magazine, you clearly belong to the first category! _Type A – the fanatic_!", reveals Rebecca when she, Alex, Roy, Jean, Scar, Olivier and Maes are sitting in the staff room.

,,That means your friends will receive yellow roses, whereas Juliet can prepare herself for red roses, a CD full of love songs, heart balloons, cards, chocolate and jewellery!", adds Rebecca. ,,Wait a sec! Are you reading a magazine or his diary?", asks Maes sarcastically. ,,Of course, she's not reading my diary! Because otherwise she would have known about the trip to Paris, I booked!"

The others answer with a puzzled look. ,,Okay, now I also want to marry you!", giggles Rebecca. Alex blushes. ,,Which type am I? And what about you?", asks Maes curiously. ,,You've gotta be kidding, Hughes", mutters Roy with a mocking look. ,,Hush, Roy!", commands Hughes before he addresses himself to Rebecca again: ,,So?"

,,Well... I for one belong to the fourth category. _Type D – Miss Friendzone_. That means that I'll merely be buying gifts for my friends. So be prepared for heart balloons, y'all!", giggles Rebecca. ,,Uh and you definitely belong to the seventh category, Maes! _Type G_ – _Mr I-Rather-Play-Cupid_!", she then adds. ,,Wow, that definitely sounds like me!", realises Maes.

,,I know, right? Anyway, Havoc, Scar and Olivier belong to the second category. _Type B – I don't care slash fuck you, St. Valentine_! So don't expect any presents from them!" ,,You mean _fuck you, capitalism_!", chuckles Maes. Olivier and Scar answer with dry looks. ,,Excuse me, please!", interposes Alex before exiting the staff room.

,,Hey, guys! Yoki definitely belongs to the sixth category! _Type F – the secret and mostly creative admirer_!", continues Bex after Alex has exited the room. ,, _Secret_. Of course", interposes Roy sarcastically. Once again, Bex rises to speak: ,,Uh and you, Roy, belong to the fifth category! _Type E – Mr impersonal slash Arse-Crawler_! Wow, looks like Bradley is also going to see Paris soon!"

,,Ha, ha. Very funny, guys", mutters Roy with a dry look whereas his friends are chuckling amusedly. Afterwards, Rebecca giggles: ,,I'm sorry! I'm sure, the truth is that you're _Type C – Mr Romantic_!" ,,Sounds like _hepatitis C_ ", remarks Scar dryly. Once again, the group laughs, Roy included. ,,But hey, what about you and my flatmate?", asks Bex then. All eyes on mute Scar...

OOO

,,What do you think?", asks King in the meantime. Right now, he and Juliet are walking through the unoccupied living room of house number 19 in the Creta Road. ,,So far, it looks nice. How many bedrooms does it have?" ,,Four. One for me, one for Selim, one for Envy and one guest room. Two bathrooms, a home office, a basement, a tall garden and thankfully no attic."

,,I can't believe that I'm actually asking this, but what about Solf?", asks Sloth coldly. ,,He found a flatmate in Dublith. In the Aerugo Lane. He is going to move out tomorrow." ,,So he'll be Greed's neighbour." ,,Yes." ,,And _hers_...", adds Sloth cautiously. King, who knows full well that she is talking about Lust, just changes the subject: ,,Third of March. That will be our moving date."

OOO

Meanwhile, Izumi, Edward and Alphonse are practising Karate in the back courtyard of their residential building. May, Lan Fan, Selim, Elicia and Aoya are watching them excitedly. ,,Wow! Your mother rocks!", remarks Elicia. ,,Do you think she'd be willing to kick Selim's arse the same way she's kicking Al's and Ed's at the moment?", she then asks with a teasing smirk.

,,Excuse me, why are you here again?", asks Selim snobbishly. Elicia just rolls her eyes. ,,I can do that, too. Mum taught me a lot", chuckles Aoya. ,,Guys, please! This isn't about violence! This is art!", interposes May. ,,Poor Al. His ass gets kicked and not only is his girlfriend watching him, but also labeling that as art", chuckles Lan Fan.

,,Shame on you, boys! Especially on you, Ed! Three rounds around the block!", grunts Izumi. Ed and Al obey without objection. ,,Hey, that woman and the _Ice Queen_ would get along well", realises Lan Fan dryly. ,,Hey, you! Come here!", commands Izumi and cracks her knuckles. ,, _I_?", asks Lan Fan relaxedly. ,,Yes, you!", grunts Izumi who is challenging Lan Fan for the first time.

,,Why I? Why not May? Or our grandpa? He's a downright Kung Fu badass, you know?" ,,Yes, I do know that. Our battle has taken place yesterday, remember?", grunts Izumi. ,,Yeah. That was cool as hell", chuckles Lan Fan. ,,Anyways, he asked me to kick your ass, _Zhang Ziyi_! Not your cousin's!", retorts Izumi. ,,Hey, kiddos. Will you all be coming to my funeral?", asks Lan Fan in a whisper...

OOO

,,Hey, Ed. Our Sensei hasn't changed at all, has she?", chuckles Al while he and Ed are jogging through their living street. ,,Not the slightest bit!", pants Ed with a grumpy look. ,,Oh foolish brother mine..." ,,Whatcha mean?" ,,Your smoker's lung! Our Sensei noticed it, too. And I'm sure that our mom also knows about your addiction." ,,No addiction!", pants Ed. Al just rolls his eyes...

OOO

Meanwhile, Sig and Trisha are cooking together in her kitchen. ,,The psychologist strongly advises us to move here instead of making him move to San Francisco. And to be honest, I'm of her opinion. He has just started to call us mom and dad. Thus, it would be way too early." ,,On the other hand, he could possibly need a change of scenery after everything that has happened here..."

,,But then again, this is where all his friends are living." ,,That's true. But what does Izumi say?" ,,She agrees with me and the doc. However, we both hate the weather here." Trisha chuckles angelically. ,,You'll get used to it! And we would be so happy to have you here!" Sig smiles softly. Although, he and Izumi can be quite intimidating from time to time, they're actually soft-hearted...

OOO

In the evening, Riza and Rebecca are having dinner in flat 3a. ,,Where's your brother?" ,,He'll come home every minute, why?" ,,Because I want to give him his birthday gift!" ,,His birthday was last weekend. You know that, right?", chuckles Riza. ,,Of course, but it took _Amazon_ forever to deliver it!" ,,I'm sure he'll love it. And thanks." ,,You're welcome! But hey, speaking of _birthdays_...!"

,, _No_!", clarifies Riza sharply. Bex rolls her eyes. ,,Come on! No party! Just you, I, the other girls and our lover – alcohol!" ,,You're definitely watching _Sex and the City_ too often." ,,Hey, be fair, that's one of my favourite films! Besides, a few cocktails won't kill you, right?" ,,Still. My birthday is in two days and my Saturdays are usually quite busy..."

,,Tcha, your loss! Because I've already informed the girls!" ,,Okay, who the hell are those _girls_ , you're talking about?" ,,Well, so far I've asked Rose, Sloth, Olivier and Sheska! That's actually just her last name but everyone calls her Sheska, so. Anyway, are you in or are you in?" Riza does not answer at first. However, she just cannot resist her best friend's pout.

,,Stop, silly girl! I'm in, okay?", she chuckles. ,,Woohoo!", exults Rebecca. ,,Uh and by the way! _Gucci – Guilty_! That's my fragrance! Keep that in mind for my birthday!" ,,Rebecca." ,,Huh?" ,,Your birthday is on July 19th, remember?", asks Riza dryly. ,,It's still February, isn't it? Dammit!", mutters Rebcca. Riza chuckles amusedly...

OOO

,,You've gotta be fucking kidding me", mutters Ling Greed when he enters the kitchen of his new flat and sees Catherine of all people standing at the window. ,,Nice to see you, too", she retorts with a snobbish smirk. ,,Let me guess – you had so much fun at that Bulgarian wedding that you decided to befriend Martel. And since Martel doesn't want your friendship, you're paying her."

,,Oh. Are we still narked because of that harmless prank?", pouts Catherine theatrically. ,,Hey, if it's any comfort to you – my moans were damn real", she adds with a teasing smirk. ,,You don't say", mutters Ling Greed as relaxedly as possible.

,,What, you had sex with him, too?", asks Martel nonchalantly, who has just come out of nowhere. ,,Yes, twice! And it was incredibly good! Even better than the sex with Envy!", giggles Cat with slightly blushed cheeks. ,,Okay, why are you waisting your time on that bitch again?", interposes Greed with a snobbish smirk. ,,Come on, Greed. Stop imitating Pride. Cat's cool."

,,Thanks, Martel!", exults Catherine. ,,You're welcome, sweety. Uh and congratulations by the way – Greed and I did it only once." ,,Wow. How about a threesome, Greed?", giggles Catherine. Ling Greed raises an eyebrow. ,,You know? I think I liked you more when you were still pretending to be a good girl", he then retorts with composure. Catherine answers with nasty laughter...

OOO

,,That bitch is driving me crazy with her games!", hisses Greed in an uncharacteristically aggressive manner when he and Kimblee meet at the _Devil's Nest_ in the evening. ,,Good Lord. Right now, you could be Edward's twin", remarks Kimblee with an amused smirk. ,,I mean, how come that a girl like her has crontrol over you of all people?", he then asks rather seriously.

,,It's that bloody game. I mean, that girl actually dared to play on _me_." ,,For God's sake, that happened weeks ago. Get over it. I mean, am I still mad at Lust? No. Besides, knockout drops are definitely worse than that ridiculous cocaine-prank." ,,That's not the point. What's bothering me the most is that she got way more than she deserves, that day."

,,A little revenge is what you're regarding as _way more than she deserves_?", asks Kimblee with a raised eyebrow. ,,No. A little revenge plus heavy orgasms is what I'm regarding as _way way way more than she deserves_ ", retorts Ling Greed nonchalantly. ,,You can't be serious, my dearest friend", chuckles Kimblee amusedly.

Only now does Ling Greed realise that he has just said too much. Yet he's keeping his cool so he can hide his inner nervosity: ,,Look, I get what you're saying, mate. Still, my chopper has never been ridden that skilfully before. But I guess you know that already, huh?" ,,Not at all. Because guess what – I'm a professional teacher." ,,You mean, you're a monk." ,,Says who?"

,,I. Say, who's your cock-blocker, huh? Lan Fan, the virgin? Or Winry, the only un-horny pregnant girl in the world?" ,,Questions like these make me wonder why I'm actually friends with you. Or why anyone's friends with you." ,,And your pseudo-intelligent answers to questions like these make me wonder the same", retorts Greed dryly. Solf sighs theatrically. ,,I'm simply not in the mood."

,,For what? My questions or humping?" ,,Both." ,,How come?" ,,Well. One of them is getting banged by her teacher, the second one is pregnant already, the third one is a manipulative bitch, the fourth one is my student in a way, the fifth one is just too cute and also in a relationship with my brother, the sixth one is just a friend and the others are either too ugly, too old, too young or male."

,,Wait a sec – who's just a friend? Martel?", asks Greed with a confused look. ,,Yes." ,,And the manipulative bitch? Catherine?" ,,Nope. She's my student. Lan Fan's the manipulative bitch." ,,Lan Fan? A manipulative bitch? That's nonsense, mate." ,,Trust me, I know what I'm talking about." ,,Blow, what did she do to you?", asks Ling Greed nonchalantly. ,,Nothing."

,,Hey, I know you, mate. You barely hate on people for _nothing_." ,,If you say so." ,,Okay, once again – why do you think that she's a manipulative bitch?" Less relaxedly than usual, Kimblee rises to speak again: ,,Counter question – how come that you don't? She tricked you, remember?" ,,Oh come on. To forgive and forget. Back then, you thought that I was _D._ and stuff."

,,She did anything to get our attention." ,,Right. And so did all the other girls. Winry included." ,,Win? Please." ,,What, huh? She's probably the worst of all. And I bet that not even she herself knows how screwed up she is." ,,What the heck are you talking about?", asks Kimblee relaxedly. ,,Man, don't you get it? Winry is neither an innocent angel nor a strong woman."

,,Is that so?" ,,Oh yes. Don't get me wrong, though. Because I'm definitely aware of her numerous excellent characteristics. She's diligent, humanitarian, hot as hell and a truly caring friend. But at the same time, she's a hypocritical crybaby who doesn't know what she wants. I mean, you never know who her friends and who her enemies are. Just think about Ed, Envy, Cat, Lan Fan, Lust, you, me."

,,So what? The same applies to us and our friendships." ,,Uh, so you _do_ admit that her actions are just as unpredictable as ours, huh?" ,,No. Because unlike us, Winry doesn't abandon her friends. She rather befriends her enemies. Not only is that smart, but also generous." ,,Are you blind or oblivious? I mean, there's no way you've already forgotten about her and Lan Fan. Or her and Cat."

,,Well, for all I know, she and Cat have never truly been friends. And when it comes to her _friendship_ with Lan Fan, I'm afraid I have to put you right. Not Winry screwed things up. Lan Fan did. Because she's jealous of Winry." ,,I know that she's jealous. But guess what, mate – she's not the only one. Winry is jealous, too." ,,Don't be ridiculous."

,,I'm not. I tell you, Winry ended their friendship, not Lan Fan. The first time she did it because of you while being together with your brother and the second time she did it because of your brother while sort of being together with you. And both times, Winry somehow managed to make it look like Lan Fan put her in a victim's position. I mean, that poor girl is still a virgin, isn't that odd?"

Gradually, Kimblee is running out of arguments which is why he decides to change the strategy: ,,Say, is there a reason why you're siding with Lan Fan so desperately?" ,,Nope. On the contrary – Winry and I are way closer than Lan Fan and I, lately. I'm the one who's delivering your money, remember?" ,,Yes. So?" ,,Well. I'm going to _entertain_ her a little on Saturday."

,,Really, huh?", asks Solf with composure, even though he's innerly crestfallen at that very moment. ,,Hey, she asked me, not the other way round. And I can still say no, if you want me to", reassures Greed relaxedly. ,,Are you sure? Because if you sleep with Winry you'll only have to sleep with Lust and I, on the other hand, with Catherine. Then we'd have a full circle, males excluded."

,,Are you suffering from OCD or something?", asks Greed dryly. ,,And when have you ever slept with Martel?", he adds. ,,In 2013, I think", answers Kimblee. ,,Uh. And hey, have we ever slept with Paninya?" ,,Nope, she's gay, remember?" ,,Yes, but wasn't there a time when she –? Uh, fuck it... Blow, I lost the thread..." ,,Catherine." ,,Catherine... Catherine... Uh, right. So much for _professional teacher_."

,,You're right but for some reason, I'm beginning to like that _full circle_ -idea." ,,That's because you're a lunatic, mate", retorts Greed dryly. ,,Possibly." ,,Still, I don't think that this would be such a good idea." ,,Because...?" ,,Because Winry can't cope with _rivals_. Which means that she'd probably start ruining Catherine's reputation the moment you pull your penis out. In other words – she'd _Lan Fan_ her."

,, _Lan Fan_ her, huh?", asks Solf with a raised brow. ,,Oh yes. I mean, where is Lan Fan? She's been everywhere when she first moved here but all of a sudden, she's just _gone_. Or she's just hiding in some dark corner and masturbating at the thought of a threesome with us. Hell, the thought of that somehow turns me on." ,, _That's because you're a lunatic, mate_ ", retorts Solf. Greed chuckles naughtily...

OOO

On Friday morning, Winry angrily puts an envelope on the kitchen table in 3b, hissing: ,,Another love letter and this time, I didn't even look to whom this is addressed! Because you know? You both are playboys!" Jean and Roy answer with puzzled looks. ,,Good morning to you, too, sis", retorts Havoc sarcastically. Winry's only respond is a grumble.

,,For you", announces Jean undramatically and hands the envelope over to his flatmate. For some reason he himself cannot figure out, Roy is secretly nervous at that moment. However, after he has opened it, he's rather confused. _,,Thanks for that amazing night."_ That's it. ,,So...?", asks Jean curiously. ,,She thanks me _for that amazing night_." ,,If so, it could be anybody", grunts Winry.

,,Including Solaris...!", realises Jean with a frozen mien. ,,Don't be ridiculous, Havoc", mutters Roy. ,,But isn't she the last female you dated...?", asks Winry cautiously. ,,A very good question! Why don't you answer it, Roy?" Roy rolls his eyes. ,,No, she's not the last woman, I dated, okay? I had a one-night stand in December. _After_ Lust and I -" ,,Okay, got it!", grunts Jean.

,,Are you kidding? There's no way your 2017 has been _sex-free_ so far!", interposes Winry. ,,Time to end this conversation", announces Roy dryly, yet somehow grumpily. And not just because he generally dislikes conversations like these with his best friend's sister, but also because he suddenly realises that he's travelled back in time to those _sex-free_ days prior to his affair with Lust...

OOO

Even though, he's racking his brain about that terrifying realisation, Roy does not allow those thoughts to control his mind. Especially not during class. Unlike him, some of the students just do not manage to focus on mathematics. Students like Edward and Envy, for instance, who are constantly _eyefucking_ and _playing_ with each other.

While no one is watching, Ed starts licking the end of a banana, with his arms intertwined behind his back. All in all to simulate oral sex with shackled wrists. Envy chuckles quietly. Afterwards, he grasps his juice box and then squashes it so hard that the juice spourts from the ending of the straw. All in all to simulate an ejaculation. It's so inappropriate and yet so teasing...

OOO

As a result, both of them decide to skip the next class and continue their secret game in the gents' school toilet instead. Edward, who is kneeling on the floor with his eyes covered and his wrists tied up to the doorknob, sucks Envy's manhood with relish, while Envy is harshly pulling Edward's braided ponytail. But that is just the first round...

OOO

A few minutes later, Envy presses Edward's stomach against the lavatory cistern and spanks his bottom several times. Afterwards, Envy, who is standing behind him, winds a scarf round Ed's jaw, clenches it between his teeth and then tugs at the two ends of that scarf. Edward, gagged at that moment, starts salivating. Especially, when he is getting ruthlessly penetrated by Envy.

While penetrating Ed, Envy keeps pulling both ends of the scarf with one hand and starts touching the blond's erection with the other one. Eventually, Envy grasps Ed's chin and slides his own tongue all over Ed's wet lips. Envy sucks them, bites them and licks the blood off. ,,I'll penetrate your arse until you'll be unable to walk, you worthless fuck toy!", moans Envy which causes Ed to come...

OOO

When they exit the cabin afterwards, Ed impulsively pushes Envy's back against its door and starts kissing him ardently. However, they instantly interrupt their french-kissing when they suddenly hear footsteps from outside. ,,See you, _Dominus_ ", chuckles Ed and winks, both in a thoroughly confident manner. Then, the blond walks out of the tiled room with his hands in his pockets. Envy is amazed...

OOO

They have started on January 19th. Three weeks and one day have passed and yet Envy and Ed are still enjoying their scandalous game. The contract documents Ed's birthday as the end point: The 19th of April. Until then, Ed has to stay away from other men and women. _,,Otherwise, I'm going to hurt you very, very badly!"_ , hissed Envy and then started licking the blade of a knife...

OOO

On Saturday morning, Kimblee is slightly confused when he wakes up in his new room for the first time. Despite the wall, he can hear what is happening in his new flatmate's room. However, that song by Eminem, that is actually supposed to drown particular noises such as moans and thuds, woke him in the first place. But Solf is a patient person.

And sometimes also a quite curious one which is why he just cannot resist the urge to _coincidentally_ exit his own room when his flatmate and his secret playmate are kissing each other goodbye. Too bad that Denny is an oblivious person. Because otherwise he could have told his boyfriend about his flatmate's moving in and that way forstalled this way too awkward situation.

Both Solf and Kain are speechless, to say the least. ,,What, huh? Do you know each other?", snickers Denny. Since Kain hasn't overcome his shock yet, Solf rises to speak instead: ,,We've been neighbours and we also go to the same school." ,,Uh... Okay... And have you two ever -?" ,,No", interrupts Solf with composure. Denny nods sheepishly whereas Kain's body remains frozen...

OOO

Quite unsurprisingly, Denny starts cross-questioning Kimblee when they meet in the kitchen, a few minutes later. ,,So... You and Kain..." ,,I'm straight." ,,Uh... Good... I mean, not _gooood_ , just good, you know?" ,,Yes, I know." ,,Cool... Uh and... Do you also know Catherine... Emma Armstrong...?" ,, _Elle_. And yes, I know her. Why?"

,,Well, Kain had a crush on her... But you probably know that already! He says that almost everyone knows it, so." ,,Yes. Kind of. But what about you? Are you bi or gay?" ,,The latter! And you?" ,,Straight. Still." Denny snickers sheepishly. ,,And Kain Fuery is bi." ,,Yes, but Catherine and _Princess Leia_ have been the only females he's had a crush on so far. All the other ones were male."

,,Wow. I had no idea." ,,Yes, he can be introverted at times. But he's already started to open up to me." ,,And since when -?" ,,We've been flirting in months! Well, actually I did most of the talking! I'm their pizza delivery boy, you know? Anyway! A couple weeks ago, I asked for his number... We started dating... And I stopped dating others... Yeah...", summarises Denny and smiles sheepishly.

,,As in he's your boyfriend." ,,Yeah, I mean, I've never been in a relationship before! I preferred other kinds of relationships! The open ones, you know...? But then came Kain..." ,,Which is why you murdered your inner slut." Denny answers with a slightly intimidated look which is why Solf rises to speak again: ,,I know, I know. I can be a little eccentric at times. But you'll get used to it."

Denny nods mutely. ,,What about you? Do you have a girlfriend?", he then asks straightforward. ,,Nope", answers Kimblee in a nutshell. ,,Not even a love interest or something?" ,,Occasionally." ,,One of your hot neighbours? Ex-neighbours! That blonde girl, for instance! What's her name again?" ,,Winry Rockbell." ,,Right! She's abnormally beautiful!" ,,I agree."

,,Or Wendy's flatmate! Soralis!" ,, _Solaris_." ,,Yes, Soralis! She's hot as hell!" ,,I agree." ,,Or that Chinese! Not the cute one, the hot one! Fan Chang Lan!" ,, _Lan Fan Chang_." ,,Yeah...! Right...! You two would look very nice together! Wait, no! For all I know, she's already dating _Bang-Bang-Mustang_." Kimblee is visibly confused at that moment. And not just because of that odd nickname.

,,I think you're very much mistaken there." ,,Well, I can remember that she opened his door once. And she was wearing nothing but hotpants and a long T-shirt." ,,Are... You sure that you saw her and not just another Chinese girl?" ,,Hey, I'm not a racist, okay? Besides, so far she's the only person who's ever called me Nick Carter." Solf nods silently. _,,Busted!"_ , he chuckles inwardly...

OOO

In the evening, Envy and Edward meet in the Xerxes Forest. Ed's wrists have been tied up to a high branch so that his feet are not touching the ground. Additionally, he is blindfolded again. At first, Envy slaps him across the backside several times. Then he starts brushing Ed's body with the end of a thin branch. First his chest, then his stomach, then his back, then his bottom, then his loin.

Whenever Edward dares to moan he gets whipped. ,,Forgive me, _Dominus_!" ,, _Naughty boy_!", hisses Envy before whipping Ed's bottom again. Then he throws the branch aside and undoes his own belt so he can continue whipping Edward's body with it. It is only when the blond's lower back starts bleeding that Envy throws the belts aside before he licks the blood off with relish.

Afterwards, he grasps Ed's stone-hard manhood and starts touching it while pulling his ponytail with the free hand and wildly penetrating his gluteal region. Driven crazy by Envy's scent, his touches and his rough penetration, Ed can barely prevent himself from coming. And his situation gets even worse when Envy stretches his own neck in order to kiss, bite, suck his mouth. Echoing moans.

One more ruthless thrust and then that's finally it: The game is over for now which means that both of them come. And Edward can already feel the warm liquidness inside himself when he starts spattering Envy's left hand with his own ejaculate. Both of them are breathing hard. And despite the freezing cold, both of them are sweating...

OOO

Shortly before they're leaving the forest, Ed suddenly pushes Envy against a trunk and starts kissing him ardently. He does that quite often _afterwards_. But unlike Envy, Ed himself hasn't realised it yet. For some reason, Envy doesn't prevent Ed from doing it. Ed's hot tongue meets Envy's cold one, while Ed is wolfishly pawing Envy's bottom. French kisses, bites, rough touches, lustful moans...

OOO

Meanwhile, Roy and Winry are sitting in their kitchen. ,,No plans for tonight, young Lady?" ,,I'll leave in an hour. And you, couch potato?" Roy doesn't answer because he just got a text: _,,In case you should be interested in a revival, here's my new number (;"_ ,,Who is it...?", asks Winry worriedly. ,,The telephone company", fibs Roy. The radio is playing Lana Del Rey's _Moi Je Joue_...

 **Thank you so much for reading and also for reviewing! (:**

 **For the rest: Next chapter will be named after Lana's song _Try Tonight_**

 **Kisses, PinkChocolateGlitter (;**


	35. ANNOUNCEMENT!

Hey there, everyone!

Believe it or not - but my English has improved a lot since I last posted a chapter. I'm not saying it's fluent but it certainly is better than it was when I first started writing this fanfic. This is why I decided to edit the thirty-four chapters of "Fullmetal Honeymoon" before uploading the following ones. This will take a few weeks but I promise you I will upload the next chapter by the end of August, so please stay tuned!

XOXO PinkChocolateGlitter


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